HarsH Parenting

Midsouth Training

February 7, 2019

E. Christopher Lloyd, PhD, LCSW,UALR School of Social Work

Amy “Tiger Mom” Chua

Law Professor at Yale and author

“Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother”

Parenting tactics included:✔ calling her daughter “garbage” on at least one

occasion✔ threatening to donate her child's favorite toys

if she did not perfect a piano piece by the next day

✔ threatening to withhold holiday, birthday, etc. presents for years at a time

✔ demanding a child practice through dinner without bathroom breaks

Her older child has penned an op-ed piece defending her mother's behavior

Abusive, harsh, or simply strict/demanding?

(Photo from Wikipedia and elsewhere)

Abusive, Harsh, or Just Demanding?

● Definition of “Harsh Parenting” is vague– The 'line' between abuse and harsh is not a

bright one– Likewise, the 'line' between harsh and

demanding parenting is not a bright one● Possibly harsh parenting behaviors occur in the

context of the child's temperament and the overall relationship between the parent and child

Definition of Harsh Parenting● An approach to parenting characterized by near-

routine application of negative, but not abusive, parenting behaviors including:

➢ Threats and other coercive, non-physical acts➢ Teasing, mocking, or belittling child➢ Blaming and/or scolding child➢ Controlling child physically or poking, slapping or other

physically rough behaviors➢ Raised voice, showing negative/uncontrolled emotions➢ Definitions vary widely in research literature

(Rodriquez et al, 2010 CAN)

But Not Abuse?

● Typically, harsh parenting is defined as behavior that does NOT rise to the level of physical abuse, as typically defined by child welfare services

● BUT, in reality, there is significant overlap between emotional abuse and harsh parenting

● Harsh parenting is a more inclusive term– Includes emotional abuse– Also physical behaviors as well as

authoritarian, controlling parenting styles

Trauma and Hardship● Heinz Kohut argued children need “optimal

frustration” to develop. That is, something just out of reach that they have to work a little to obtain.

– Goal is reasonable & regulated by parents– Supported by parents if frustrated or hurt

● Hardship becomes traumatic when– Situation is out of control– No support or parents unavailable or problematic– Goals are unreasonable given current development

Risk Factors for Parents● Being parented harshly, or abusively, themselves● High levels of parental stress

✔ Mental health/substance use problems✔ Being harshly parented themselves✔ Chronic physical health problems✔ Adolescent mothers, low education✔ Domestic/intimate partner violence✔ Poverty

● Lack of social support or social isolation● Perceiving child as 'difficult'

Risk Factor: Poverty

Poverty or Poor*

FinancialProblems

LowEducationAchieve

UnmetH/MHNeeds

HarshParenting

*: “Poor” is earning less than 200% of USCB's poverty threshold for household composition

Unpacking Parental MH Risk

● Cluster B (& Paranoid) Personality Disorders– Narcissism, callousness/lack of empathy,

emotional volatility, grudge-holding● Depression, PTSD, Bipolar Disorders

– Rage/Anger/Hostility prominent– Poor affect regulation

● Primitive/weak ego defenses– Projection, denial, splitting, etc.

● Any substance use disorder (Kelly et al., 2015)

Parental Perceptions

● Lack of social support– Consistent predictor of risk to the child

● Harsh Parenting● Maltreatment● Developmental Delay

– May be isolated or simply feel 'alone in group'● Perception of child as 'difficult'

– Driven by many factors– May or may not reflect child's characteristics

Risk Factors for Children● Having a 'difficult' temperament

– cool or slow-to-warm-up– perception by parent of being difficult

● Having a disability– physical (incl. chronic illness)– intellectual– developmental

● ADHD, anxiety, or externalizing behaviors● NOT blaming the child, but it is important to recognize

that some children are more at risk than others

Which Comes First?

● Some debate about what is cause and what is effect in harsh parenting and child behavior

● Harsh parenting causes child behavior problems

OR● Child behavior problems cause harsh parenting➢ Both are plausible models✔ Most likely, there is a reciprocal or

transactional process (i.e., systemic) at work

Why Do Parents Do This?● Harsh parenting effectively terminates

undesirable behavior (at least at first)● It's how they were parented themselves

– Harsh parenting skills

– “Identification with the aggressor”

● Misinterprets child's behavior– Child's behavior is understood as hostile, malevolent,

hateful and parent retaliates

– More typical in maternal low educational achievement● Fear for child’s safety (in unsafe community)

(White et al, 2018)

Identifying Consequences

● Difficult to clearly identify effects of harsh parenting

– Co-occurs with other risk factors● As noted earlier, occurs in the context of

– Cultural norms and expectations– Family system and subsystems– Parent-child relationship

● Requires longitudinal data and advanced modeling methods to parse variance carefully

Immediate Consequences● Harsh parenting may be a traumatic event and/or

may cause anxiety-related problems– Elevated cortisol and other stress hormones– Effects may range from submissive, timid

behaviors to ASD/PTSD to, in the longer term, complex trauma

● Disrupted attachment with caregiver– Ignores/avoids harsh caregiver– Irritable and/or difficult to sooth

● More readily overstimulated by environment

Signs & Symptoms of Traumain Young Children

● Angry and aggressive behaviors & play

● Somber, compulsive play activities

● Irritability● Difficulty being

comforted● New phobias/fears● Meltdowns & tantrums

● Fear of separation from parents or caregivers

● Frequent sleep problems & nightmares

● Losing existing skills (regression)

● Aches, pains, nausea without physical illness

● Hypervigilance/Startle● Self-blame

Near-Term Disruptions

● An excess of stress disrupts healthy development– Altered brain development– Cognitive changes– Slow to meet milestones– Not school-ready at age 6

● Behavior problems– Trauma-related (internalizing)– Aggressive/Conduct (externalizing)

Near-Term Disruption

● Harsh parenting levels were found to have raised risk of externalizing behavior problems in large pre-school sample (NICHD ECC study)

– Strong, significant effect in hierarchical model that included over a dozen variables

– NO interaction effect for temperament● Equally negative effect on all child temperaments

● But fathers may be more sensitive to young child's temperament (Hajal et al., 2015)

(Bradley & Corwyn, 2007)

More Consequences● Among a study of two year-olds found that when

fathers used corporal punishment, behavior problems a year later were worse (consistent with prior work)

● Also found that parental harsh parenting exacerbated the positive relationship between corporal punishment and behavior problems

● Among children who have a known MH problem, harsh parenting was associated with sleep problems and worsened behavior problems

(Marcos et al., 2016)

(Calhoun & Fishbein, 2018)

More Consequences

● Harsh parenting was shown to be a mediating factor between maternal depression (with a history of being abused) and child behavior problems in school-age children (Wolford et al., 2018)

● The intent of harsh parenting did not matter significantly – that is, whether that parent was trying to protect the child or not did not matter but the overall context of the relationship does

Longer-Term Outcomes● In a study of AA Adolescents, those who were harshly

parented prior to adolescence were more likely to– Be in poorer physical health with higher levels of stress

hormones and inflammation markers

– Be more angry

– Brody et al. (2014)

● Also a stronger preference for deviant peers in adolescence, though varied w/ genetics (Jie, et al., 2015)

● Higher risk for contact with CWS and juvenile justice systems as they enter adolescence

● Probably higher risk of drop-out as well

Longer-Term Outcomes

● Brody et al.'s (2013) model of harsh parenting at 11-13 effects on ages 16-18. Poorer health outcomes measured were systemic inflammation and depression. 5-HTTLPR is a gene associated w/ serotonin system and amygdala activation

HarshParenting Anger

Poorer Health

5-HTTLPR

Interventions

● Evidence-based parenting interventions– Ex.: Triple-P (Positive Parenting Program)– Culturally, contextually appropriate– Increasing developmental knowledge

● Mental health treatment● Anger management● Social supports (e.g., process groups)● Play therapy

Case Study: Robert & Casey

● Robert, 23 y/o single father in rural Iowa● Casey, 3 ½ y/o son● CPS non-rehabilitative case open

– C/C: numerous reports by child care providers of emotional & physical abuse that CPS investigators found to be not substantiated

– Observed to be 'harsh' and 'punitive' w/ child● Family resides in paternal grandparents' home in

rural county south of Des Moines

Case Study

● Robert: Euthymic but quick to anger/hostility, suspicious of provider and system. – HS grad. w/ steady employment in county– Strong support of family– Harsh w/ child, out of proportion punishments– Little developmental knowledge

● Casey: Active, but anxious pre-schooler. Mostly potty trained & developmentally on-track. Prone to temper tantrums. Home w/ grandma most days.

Case Study● Approached by engaging extended family and

Robert with active listening● Adopted a cognitively-based, problem-solving

approach– Lots of psychoeducational work about Casey and

what is normative for pre-school children– Observed conflicts in session and offered ideas– Processed Robert's experiences of being parented– Processed Robert's anger at former S.O.'s

methamphetamine dependence

Questions? Comments?

Chris Lloyd

UALR School of Social Work401F Ross Hall

eclloyd@ualr.edu 501.569.8464