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A traditional Jewish wedding is full of meaningful rituals, symbolizing the beauty

of the relationship of husband and wife, as well as their obligations to each

other and to the Jewish people.

The following guide explains the beauty and joy of these the Jewish wedding

traditions.

The Wedding Day

The dawning wedding day heralds the happiest and holiest day of one's life.

This day is considered a personal Yom Kippur for the chatan (Hebrew for

groom) and kallah (bride), for on this day all their past mistakes are forgiven as

they merge into a new, complete soul.

As on Yom Kippur, both the chatan and kallah fast (in this case, from dawn until

after the completion of the marriage ceremony). And at the ceremony, the

chatan wears a kittel, the traditional white robe worn on Yom Kippur.

[Sefardim do not have the custom to fast and wear a kittel.]

Kabbalat Panim

It is customary for the chatan and kallah not to see each other for one week

preceding the wedding. This increases the anticipation and excitement of the

event. Therefore, prior to the wedding ceremony, the chatan and kallah greet

guests separately. This is called "Kabbalat Panim."

Jewish tradition likens the couple to a queen and king. The kallah will be seated

on a "throne" to receive her guests, while the chatan is surrounded by guests

who sing and toast him.

At this time there is an Ashkenazi tradition for the mother of the bride and the

mother of the groom to stand together and break a plate. The reason is to

show the seriousness of the commitment ― just as a plate can never be fully

repaired, so too a broken relationship can never be fully repaired.

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repaired, so too a broken relationship can never be fully repaired.

Badeken

Next comes the badeken, the veiling of the kallah by the chatan. The veil

symbolizes the idea of modesty and conveys the lesson that however attractive

physical appearances may be, the soul and character are paramount. It is

reminiscent of Rebecca covering her face before marrying Isaac (Genesis ch.

24).

The Ashkenazi custom is that the chatan, accompanied by family and friends,

proceeds to where the kallah is seated and places the veil over her face. This

signals the groom's commitment to clothe and protect his wife.

Chuppah

The wedding ceremony takes place under

the chuppah (canopy), a symbol of the

home that the new couple will build

together. It is open on all sides, just as

Abraham and Sarah had their tent open all

sides to welcome people in unconditional

hospitality.

The Ashkenazi custom is to have the

chuppah ceremony outside under the stars, as a sign of the blessing given by

God to the patriarch Abraham, that his children shall be "as the stars of the

heavens" (Genesis 15:5). Sefardim generally have the chuppah indoors.

The Ashkenazi custom is that the chatan and kallah wear no jewelry under the

chuppah (marriage canopy). Their mutual commitment is based on who they

are as people, not on any material possessions.

The kallah follows the chatan, and both are usually escorted to the chuppah by

their respective sets of parents.

Under the chuppah, the Ashkenazi custom is that the kallah circles the chatan

seven times. Just as the world was built in seven days, the kallah is figuratively

building the walls of the couple's new world together. The number seven also

symbolizes the wholeness and completeness that they cannot attain separately.

The kallah then settles at the chatan's right-hand side.

[At this point, the Sefardic custom is that the chatan says the blessing

She'hecheyanu over a new tallit, and has in mind that the blessing also goes

on the marriage. The tallit is then held by four young men over the head of the

chatan and kallah.]

Blessings of Betrothal (Kiddushin)

Two cups of wine are used in the wedding ceremony. The first cup

accompanies the betrothal blessings, recited by the rabbi. After these are

recited, the couple drinks from the cup.

Wine, a symbol of joy in Jewish tradition, is associated with Kiddush, the

sanctification prayer recited on Shabbat and festivals. Marriage, called

Kiddushin, is the sanctification of a man and woman to each other.

Giving of the Ring

In Jewish law, a marriage becomes official when the chatan gives an object of

value to the kallah. This is traditionally done with a ring. The ring should be

made of plain gold, without blemishes or ornamentation (e.g. stones) ― just as

it is hoped that the marriage will be one of simple beauty.

The chatan now takes the wedding ring in his hand, and in clear view of two

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The chatan now takes the wedding ring in his hand, and in clear view of two

witnesses, declares to the kallah, "Behold, you are betrothed unto me with this

ring, according to the law of Moses and Israel." He then places the ring on the

forefinger of the bride's right hand. According to Jewish law, this is the central

moment of the wedding ceremony, and at this point the couple is fully married.

If the kallah also wants to give a ring to the chatan, this is only done afterwards,

not under the chuppah. This is to prevent confusion as to what constitutes the

actual marriage, as prescribed by the Torah.

Ketubah (Marriage Contract)

Now comes the reading of the ketubah

(marriage contract) in the original Aramaic text.

The ketubah outlines the chatan's various

responsibilities ― to provide his wife with food,

shelter and clothing, and to be attentive to her

emotional needs. Protecting the rights of a

Jewish wife is so important that the marriage

may not be solemnized until the contract has

been completed.

The document is signed by two witnesses, and has the standing of a legally

binding agreement. The ketubah is the property of the kallah and she must

have access to it throughout their marriage. It is often written amidst beautiful

artwork, to be framed and displayed in the home.

The reading of the ketubah acts as a break between the first part of the

ceremony ― Kiddushin ("betrothal"), and the latter part ― Nissuin ("marriage").

The Seven Blessings

The Seven Blessings (Sheva Brachot) are now recited over the second cup of

wine. The theme of these blessings links the chatan and kallah to our faith in

God as Creator of the world, Bestower of joy and love, and the ultimate

Redeemer of our people.

These blessings are recited by the rabbi or other people that the families wish

to honor.

At the conclusion of the seven blessings, the chatan and kallah again drink

some of the wine.

Breaking the Glass

A glass is now placed on the floor, and the chatan shatters it with his foot. This

serves as an expression of sadness at the destruction of the Temple in

Jerusalem, and identifies the couple with the spiritual and national destiny of

the Jewish people. A Jew, even at the moment of greatest rejoicing, is mindful

of the Psalmist's injunction to "set Jerusalem above my highest joy."

In jest, some explain that this is the last time the groom gets to "put his foot

down."

(In Israel, the Ashkenazi custom is that the glass is broken earlier, prior to the

reading of the ketubah. Sefardim always break the glass at the end of the

ceremony, even in Israel.)

This marks the conclusion of the ceremony. With shouts of "Mazel Tov," the

chatan and kallah are then given an enthusiastic reception from the guests as

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Published: June 30, 2001

they leave the chuppah together.

Yichud

The couple is then escorted to a private "yichud room" and left alone for a few

minutes. These moments of seclusion signify their new status of living together

as husband and wife.

Since the couple has been fasting since the morning, at this point they will also

have something to eat.

[Sefardim do not have the custom of the yichud room; the chatan and kallah

immediately proceed to the wedding hall after the chuppah ceremony.]

The Festive Meal (Seudah)

It is a mitzvah for guests to bring simcha (joy) to the chatan and the kallah on

their wedding day. There is much music and dancing as the guests celebrate

with the new couple; some guests entertain with feats of juggling and

acrobatics.

After the meal, Birkat Hamazon (Grace After Meals) is recited, and the Sheva

Brachot are repeated.

During the week following the wedding, it is customary for friends and relatives

to host festive meals in honor of the chatan and kallah. This is called the week

of Sheva Brachot, in reference to the blessings said at the conclusion of each

of these festive meals.

If both the bride and groom are marrying for the second time, sheva brachot

are recited only on the night of the wedding. The last bracha, Asher Bara, can

be recited for three days.

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About the Author

Chaplain Shlomo Shulman, an alumni of Aish HaTorah in Jerusalem, heads home this

week to his wife and two daughters at Hunter Army Airfield in Savannah, Georgia, where heis stationed. Shulman grew up in Beverly Hills, graduated with a degree in journalism fromSan Diego State, and worked in the field of environmental education. Write to him ata.shulman@us.army.mil.

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Visitor Comments: 181

(180) re student, October 17, 2013 12:52 PM

great

this is probaly the best website i have ever been on its got everything a student could

want i love this website its better than free game website and fifa 14

(179) JennieSchmitzJES555@gmail.com, October 9, 2013 7:51 AM

Thank you for being there for this information for my wedding!

I am so grateful for this information being available to me on this most important day in

my life!! and that I'm reading this at 2:50 in the morning at my own home. Thank You!!

(178) John, July 25, 2013 6:07 AM

This has such deep meaning in their covenant made

Thank you for having this website. Is there any provision of hope declared during the

ceremony focused upon the Messiah?

(177) Anonymous, January 29, 2013 4:06 PM

There seems to be a lot of ignorance about Sephardi wedding customs. I

Michael, April 12, 2013 2:02 AM

As a Sephardic Jew, I'm not sure what you mean. What they've written seems to

fall right into the Sephardic customs that I had at my wedding and grew up with

seeing at others.

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