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GTS - Top Talentleadership program
Coaching team – Limiting BeliefsPresented by Andi Roberts
Goals for the session
•Explore limiting beliefs•Source•Recognising•Shifting
•Resetting limiting beliefs
Write down 3 or 4 limiting beliefs you may have
Henry Ford
“Whether you think you can, or you think you can't –
you're right”
Limiting
Empowering
BELIEFS
How do limiting beliefs help / hinder us?
BeliefsWords à Thoughts à Beliefs à Mindset à Actions à Results
Performance equation
Performance = Potential Interference-Outer
Inner
[Tim Gallwey – Inner Game]
Sources of beliefs
Tradition
Evidence
Authority
Association
Revelation
Catagories of beliefs
SELF I am able to take on this new projectI am incapable of taking on this new project
OTHERS Others value my and my ideasPeople generally are disloyal and hurtful
WORLD The world is my oysterThe world is dangerous and unforgiving
FUTURE It is bright and full of opportunitiesThere is no hope – things will never change
How do limiting beliefs show up?
NLP Meta Model
• Deletion – being selective about experiences and choosing to omit certain information, so part of the meaning is deleted, eg saying a project is going well because the milestones have been met, butomitting to say that the costs have escalated and the project is now over budget.
• Distortion – creating, from other people’s words or actions, a meaning which may not necessarily be true or which may be based on minimal evidence, eg someone in the office laughing and you believe they are laughing at you; or your partner buying you flowers and you believing this means they love you.
• Generalization – believing something to be universally true based on limited experience. If you generalize incorrectly the overall meaning may be missed. With generalizations you unconsciously develop rules and beliefs which may be true or untrue. Words often used include: all, never, every, always. Eg: ‘I know I always upset someone at team meetings’.
Beware the modal operators
• Modal operators of possibility – as in I can’t . The modal operator of possibility refers to what you consider to be possible or not.
• Modal operators of necessity – as in I have to , I should . The modal operator of necessity refers to what you think is necessary for you to do.
• Universal quantifiers – as in everything, everybody, always, never quantifier is a statement that you hold to be universally true.
An endless opportunity to explore beliefs…
• Mind-Reading - They don’t like me.• Lost Performative - It’s bad to be inconsistent• Cause and Effect - You make me stressed• Complex equivalence - now my client stopped the contract. I’ll be bankrupt by the end of the
year!• Presuppositions - If my client new how much I get stressed in our meetings, he wouldn't act that
way• Modal Operators of Necessity - I have to be on call 24 hours for this client• Modal Operators of Possibility - I can’t tell him the truth• Nominalisations - There is no communication here• Deletions - Andi hurt me• Comparative Deletions - Andi is a better sales professional• Unspecified Verb - He rejected me
So how would you deal with these?
Change the response to the worlds
Event =Response Outcome+[Jack Canfield]
Success equation
Event =Response Outcome+[Jack Canfield]
Requires raised awareness!
Help them change their inner story
• Reinforce that they are the editors of their own life stories
• Help them realise where their story diverges from reality
• Ask them if their story really is true or a false truth
• Reinforce self appreciation versus self deprecation
• Support the creation of new stories
Three approaches
NLPSolutions focused
CLEAN language
NLP (Bandler & Grinder)
Play back Challenge Future Shifts
Client: “This will be impossible to deliver on time”Coach: So you think delivery in time is impossible?Coach: Completely impossible?Coach: If you could get this done on time what would be three benefits?Coach: What three things would help get it delivered on time?
Invite to chose focus area to continue discussion
Clean language (David Grove)
• Listen attentively & don’t lead (unpick their language / view)• Keep your opinions and advice to yourself as far as possible• Ask Clean Language questions to explore a person's metaphors (or
everyday statements)• Listen to the answers and then ask more Clean Language questions
about what the other person has said.Focus on the good stuff when it appears• Ask the questions about the positive aspects of a person's
experience.• Ask about the things that the person wants (more of).• Focus on the positives.
Clean Language (David Grove)• Clarify PRO
• Problem• Remedy• Desired Outcome
• P à and when X happens, what would you like to have happen
• R à And when you X, then what happens?
• 0 àAnd when X, what kind of X?
Developing Questions• What kind of X (is that X)?• Is there anything else about X?• Where is X? or (And) whereabouts is X?• Is there a relationship between X and Y?• When X, what happens to Y?• That’s X like what?Sequence and Source• Then what happens?• What happens just before X?• Where could X come from?Intention Questions• What would X like to have happen?• What needs to happen for X?• Can X (happen)?
Solutions focused (de Shazer & Berg)
• Past success – tap into previous positive• Resources – What inner & outer resources do they have at present• Miracle question - if issue removed, what would be different?• Scaling questions – where on journey? How X right now?• Baby steps – Small changes forward
• OSKAR• Outcome• Scaling• Know-How• Affirm & Action• Review
Questions
CLARLIFYING
• How do you picture this limiting belief in your head?
• How do you imagine it in your minds-eye?
• What does this belief look like specifically?
• What does it sound like?
• What does it feel like?
• What does it smell like?
• What does it taste like?
• How did you come to form this particular belief?
• What has made you hold onto this belief for so long?
• What kind of references support this belief?
• What knowledge supports this belief?
• What life experiences support this belief?
• What intense emotional experiences support this belief?
• How have you held onto this belief in your imagination over the years?
• What specific things have you imagined? What stories have you concocted?
• How are you deriving pleasure by holding onto this belief?
• What good intention does this belief provide you with?
• What value are you gaining by holding onto this belief?
Play time
Small GroupsOne person shares a limiting belief
Partners in the room use different approaches to help start to unlockPBC – Provide some context / Coaches don’t need full on coach session a la GROW
Rotate so ALL share 1 belief!
Play time
What did you notice?
Space to reset beliefs
Change your response
Event =Response Outcome+[Jack Canfield]
pressurised
overwhelmed
fear of failure
fear of rejection
fear of success
desperateworried
anxious
bored
guilty
disappointed
embarrassedangry
hurt
confused
frustrated
disillusionedstupid
confident
determined
curious
stimulated
fascinated
passionateoutrageous
energised
unstoppable
excited
flexible
vitalappreciated
enthusiastic
loved
successful
funnyexpectant
What state are we in?
pressurised
overwhelmed
fear of failure
fear of rejection
fear of success
desperateworried
anxious
bored
guilty
disappointed
embarrassedangry
hurt
confused
frustrated
disillusionedstupid
confident
determined
curious
stimulated
fascinated
passionateoutrageous
energised
unstoppable
excited
flexible
vitalappreciated
enthusiastic
loved
successful
funnyexpectant
What state are we in?
Is it a choice?
Iceberg
State
Belief
1 10
Behaviour
Results
“A belief is a feeling of certainty.”
Anthony Robbins
The self-fulfilling prophecy.
Your belief in your potential will largely determine the quality and quantity of action you take, which subsequently influences results.
Play from a 10!
• Access the most appropriate resourceful state for the situation you are in – so that you can perform at your best.
• Why? Because your state affects your response to any event, and has a major influence on the outcome to that event. What matters is not so much your ability, as your ability to access your ability.
Play from a 10!
• Access the most appropriate resourceful state for the situation you are in – so that you can perform at your best.
• Why? Because your state affects your response to any event, and has a major influence on the outcome to that event. What matters is not so much your ability, as your ability to access your ability.
• Play from a 10 means accessing your most powerful state in order to limit or defeat limiting beliefs.
• How can you play regularly from a 10? What may stop you and how can you access your most positive state?
SmileOmeter
• Energised or drained?
• Does this action/step create “smile on”?
• The benefit of using the SmileOmeter is twofold.
• 1. It trains us to climb back into our bodies and notice. Ultimate energy awareness raiser.
• 2. Navigates us to more of what we want.
DrainedStruggleResistSmile off
EnergisedFlow
AttractSmile on
SmileOmeter
• Energised or drained?• Does this action/step create “smile on”?• The benefit of using the SmileOmeter is
twofold. • 1. It trains us to climb back into our bodies and
notice. Ultimate energy awareness raiser. • 2. Navigates us to more of what we want.
• Where is your smile at today / this week?• What can you do to shift it?• What could you do to be more aware of your
"smile on"?
DrainedStruggleResistSmile off
EnergisedFlow
AttractSmile on
Energy drains –our tolerances
Energy drains –our tolerances
• Read the following: https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbeshumanresourcescouncil/2018/01/12/what-are-you-tolerating-one-question-to-ask-yourself-for-a-successful-new-year/#5d7fd9772fd0
• THEN read: • https://www.thebestyou.co/what-are-
you-tolerating-right-now/
• Reflect on what are your big / low hole tolerations and discuss with your partner
Circle of control
Control
Influence
Concern
[S Covey]
Circle of control
Control
Influence
Concern
Influence
Concern
Influence
Concern[S Covey]
PROACTIVE
REACTIVE
Reflections
?