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Grace: God’s Prescription for DisgraceUnderstanding and Ministering to
Victims of Sexual Abuse
2 Samuel 13
Grace: God’s Prescription for DisgraceUnderstanding and Ministering to
Victims of Sexual Abuse
Presented by Robert W. Kellemen, Ph.D.RPM Ministries
Comprehensive, Compassionate, Culturally-Informed Biblical Counseling
A Tale of Two Counselors
Pastoral Counselor: A Sermon on Sin Professional Counselor: Too Damaged to Love What is your assessment? What do you base your assessment upon?
The Central Message of the Bible
God’s Mission Statement: “I Am Indispensable”
Central Message of Biblical Counseling: …we apply Christ’s grace to deal both with the evils we have suffered and the sins we have committed.
Comprehensive Biblical Counseling
Dealing with Suffering: God is good even when life is bad.
Dealing with Sinning: God is gracious even when I am evil.
Central Message of 2 Sam. 9-1 Kgs. 2
Man after God’s own heart . . . Is a maze of suffering and a mess of sin.
Davidic narrative points to our need for God’s indispensable grace!
Grace is God’s medicine of choice for our suffering and sin.
Understanding the Damage Done
Why? We need a theology of suffering. We need a picture of Satan’s strategy.
Stage One
The damage of the loss of trust The attempted Satanic destruction of faith
Exegetical Markers Shrewdness of Satan Conclusion of Victim: Disgrace/Desolate Image: Door of Heart Bolted Shut
Stage Two
The damage of powerlessness The attempted Satanic destruction of hope
13:2 13:11—hazaq 13:12 13:14 Image: Death of Dreams
Stage Three
The damage of being used and feeling useless The attempted Satanic destruction of love
Used 13:14 13:15
Useless Bolts Door 13:17 13:18-19
Image: Torn Robes
Stage Four
The damage of shame The attempted Satanic destruction of peace/ shalom
Hebrew Shame Self Social
Modern Shame Self Social
Image: Downcast Eyes
Summary of Biblical Sufferology
Loss of faith: Doors closed Loss of hope: Dreams killed Loss of love: Robes torn Loss of peace: Eyes downcast
Ministering to Victims of Sexual Abuse
Soul Care for Suffering: Life is bad, but God is good Sustaining: It’s normal to hurt Healing: It’s possible to hope
Stage One Sustaining Trust: Offering faith in the midst of doubt How NOT to Sustain Trust
Don’t Victimize the Victim… Don’t Communicate: “Be quiet!” Don’t Communicate: “Don’t take this to heart!”
Stage One How to Sustain Trust: Biblical, Christlike Empathy Engage in Compassionate Listening
Give voice back Listen to actions Listen to tears
Stage One
Share Sorrows Empathize with the external evil Empathize with the internal damage Counsel like the inspired narrator: Enter desolation
Trialogue The Image: Comforter…
Stage Two Healing Powerlessness: Offering hope in the goodness of God in the midst of the badness of life Give their name back! Journey with them Explore God’s Good Purposes: Grace/Truth Provide Tastes of God’s Goodness: Grace/Love Trialogue Image: Champion
Stage Three Reconciling the Soul to the Savior: Offering Christ’s grace for our disgrace Spiritual Direction for Sinning
Reconciling: It’s horrible to sin, but wonderful to be forgiven Guiding: It’s supernatural to mature
Stage Three How NOT to Reconcile
Not like the father Not like the brother
How to Reconcile Call the abuse sin Work through forgiveness… Seek justice, not vengeance
Stage Three
How to Reconcile Explore and Expose . . .
Fallen agenda Fallen pathways Idol of the heart Repentance Putting Off
Stage Three
How to Reconcile Prescribe grace Defeat the lie of worldly shame The Image: Care-fronter
Stage Four Guiding the Soul to Godly Service: Offering beauty for ashes Envision with spiritual eyes Empower to put on King’s robes
In Christ: Saint To Christ: Son/Daughter
Stage Four Guiding the Soul to Godly Service: Offering beauty for ashes Enlighten to Mature Wisdom Image: Coach
Send Them Out with GRACEGod’s Prescription for Disgrace
Grace: God’s Prescription for DisgraceUnderstanding and Ministering to
Victims of Sexual Abuse
2 Samuel 13