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Greg Rowley, PGAIllustrations by Jeremy Deming

Golf, Nakedtells it like it really is. is is the stuff that every golfer needs to know.

Rich Beem, 2002 PGA Champion

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Teres so much more to gol than your score. Gol, Nakedteaches you how to ace the rest

o the game. Its at out brilliant.

Andrew Magee, PGA our goler, host o the Gol Channels Big Break

Gol, Nakedis a creative, entertaining, inormative and very dierent gol book.

om Perry, PGA our headquarters

Tis book does everyone in our industry a huge avor. Every goler, regardless o their ability

or level o experience, should read this book.

Brent Buckman, club manager, Spanish Oaks, Austin, X

Gol, Naked is an excellent reerence or the newer goler and should help educate uture

golers or years to come.Rex Schultz, PGA head proessional, Esmerelda Gol Course, Spokane, WA

Tis book says the things that all Pros wish our members knew but dont like telling them

ourselves. Gol, Nakeddoes the dirty work or me in a way thats un or the reader.

Chad Stoddard, PGA head proessional, Broken op Club, Bend, OR

Greg is a decent son. His book turned out better than I expected.

Sandra Rowley, Gregs mom, lousy goler and marginal cook

Gol, Naked is a perect tool or new goler orientation. Teres simply nothing like it out

thereand its laugh-out-loud unny.

Rainer Gehres, ormer club manager, Riviera, Los Angeles, CA, and

Waverly, Portland, OR

Reading Gol, Nakeddenitely helped me eel more comortable at the local gol club that I

recently joined. At rst I elt like a bull in a china shop; now I eel like I really belong.

Adam Deadmarsh, NHL star, Stanley Cup winner, and Olympic Silver Medalist

In gol, I nd much o the same satisaction that I did as a proessional skier. Gol, Naked

puts into words something Id only previously elt. Gol, to me, is a eeling, not the nal

score.

Josh Loubek, proessional skier, Winter X Games head judge

What a great book!

Len Zamora, PGA director o gol, Te Mirabel Club, Scottsdale, AZ

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GOLF, NAKEDhe Bare Essentials Revealed

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GOLF, NAKEDhe Bare Essentials Revealed

Greg Rowley, PGA

Pick It Up Publishing, LLC

Coeur dAlene, Idaho

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Published by Pick It Up Publishing, LLCP.O. Box 3667Coeur dAlene, ID 83816www.pickituppublishing.com

CEO: Denny RyersonPresident: Greg Rowley

Original illustrations: Jeremy Deming

Copyright 2009 by Pick It Up Publishing, LLC

All rights reserved. No part o this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in anyorm or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning or otherwise, except as permittedunder Sections 107 or 108 o the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without the prior written permission othe Publisher, except or the inclusion o brie quotations in a review. Requests to the publisher or permissionshould be addressed to permissions, Pick It Up Publishing, P.O. Box 3667, Coeur dAlene, ID 83816, or e-mailpermissions@pickituppublishing.com.

Many o the designations used by manuacturers and sellers to distinguish their products are claimed as trademarks.Where those designations appear in this book, and Pick It Up Publishing was aware o a trademark claim, thedesignations appear as requested by the owner o the trademark. All other product names and services identied

throughout the book are used in editorial ashion only and or the benet o such companies with no intention orinringement o the trademark. No such use, or the use o any trade name, is intended to convey endorsement orother afliation with this book.

Te inormation in this book is distributed on an As Is basis, without warranty. While every precaution has beentaken in the preparation o the book, neither the author nor Pick It Up Publishing shall have any liability to anyperson or entity with respect to any loss or damage caused or alleged to be caused directly or indirectly by theinstructions contained in this book.

Distributed by Greenlea Book Group LLC

For ordering inormation or special discounts or bulk purchases, pleasecontact Greenlea Book Group LLC at 4005-B Banister Lane, Tree Park Place, Austin,

X 78704, (512) 891-6100

Design and composition by Greenlea Book Group LLCCover design by Nathan Brown and Greenlea Book Group LLCInitial editing by David Kilmer

All photos throughout the book have either been personally taken by the author in his travels, or have beenprovided by and used with the permission o the respective courses.

Singing the Praises o Gol, rom Gol in the Kingdom by Michael Murphy. Copyright 1972 by MichaelMurphy. Used by permission o Viking Penguin, a division o Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

Publishers Cataloging-In-Publication Data(Prepared by Te Donohue Group, Inc.)Rowley, Greg.

Gol, naked : the bare essentials revealed / Greg Rowley. -- 1st ed.p. : ill. ; cm.

ISBN-13: 978-0-9815319-5-3

1. Gol--Miscellanea. 2. Golers. 3. Sportsmanship.I. itle.

GV967 .R69 2008796.352 2008907927

Printed in China on acid-ree paper

08 09 10 11 12 13 14 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

First Edition

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For Denny.Youve changed our lives.

Tank you or your courage and condence.

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ix

Preace xv

Introduction 1

SECTION 1:Of and Stumbling

Chapter 1: Sweat the Small Stuf 6

You Have to Start Somewhere 7

Culture Shock 11

Consider the Source 13

Chapter 2: Slicing Trough a Snowstorm 15

Te Game o Opposites 17

Pop Quiz, Hot Shot 18

Chapter 3: Gol 101 23

Big Rocks 23

Te Game 24Te Equipment 26

Te Gol Course 32

SECTION 2:Prepare Like a Pro

Chapter 4: Prepare Like Crazy 38

Speaking o Crazy 40

Chapter 5: I the WHO Fits 42

CONTENTS

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Family . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 42

Friends or a Regular Group . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 43

Playing as a Single . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 45Looking or a Game . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 46

Client and Guest Hosting (Part I) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 48

Chapter 6: Lost Under WHERE 52

Public Gol Courses. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 52

Private Gol Courses . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 53

Resort Gol Courses . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 53

Money Matters . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 55Dress Code . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 55

Chapter 7: Breaking WHEN 62

iming. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 62

Course Availability. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 64

Weather . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 65

Chapter 8: Te Mile WHY Club 70

Practice . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 70

ake Lessons . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 71

Play . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 72

Compete . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 72

SECTION 3:Now Youre Getting Tere

Chapter 9: Connecting DotsPractice Range and

Parking Lots 76On Arrival . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 76

Check-In . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 79

Warm-Up . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 82

Client and Guest Hosting (Part II) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 85

Check Your Gear and Go to the First ee . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 86

Chapter 10: Te Usual Suspects 87

Te Gol Proessional. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 87

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xi

Aiding and Abetting . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 92

Caddies and Forecaddies . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 93

Chapter 11: Dirty Rotten Stinking Low-Lie Sandbaggers 100

Cheaters. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 102

Reverse Sandbaggers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 103

Walk a Mile in Tese Shoes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 103

Dude, Abide . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 105

Gol Handicapping Made Clear(er) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 106

SECTION 4:On-Course Survival GuideChapter 12: Assume the Position 114

Strike a Pose . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 114

aking the ee . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 116

Client and Guest Hosting (Part III) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 125

Playing with Strangers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 126

Classic Gol Pranks . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 127

Call to Action . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 129Chapter 13: Gas, Rent, and Beer Money 130

Know Your Limits . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 130

Gregs Gambling Rules . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 134

Gol Gambling Customs . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 137

Te Pocket Pro: Gol Gambling Guide. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 139

Chapter 14: Lessons rom a Dam Builder 143

Respect Others and the Course . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 144

ake Care o the Gol Course . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 151

Finesse the Short Game. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 153

Etiquette Is Not a Sometimes Ting . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 158

Chapter 15: Slow Play, Sunburn, and 7-10 Splits 160

Te 3 Degrees o Slow Play . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 161

1st-Degree Burn: How to Keep Up . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 163

2nd-Degree Burn: How to Catch Up. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 168

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3rd-Degree Burn: ry Bowling . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 169

Chapter 16: Finish the Whole 174

Keep It Classy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 174

Clean Up Ater Yoursel. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 174

Tank the Sta . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 175

Te Art o ipping . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 175

Client and Guest Hosting (Part IV) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 178

ake a Final Inventory . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 180

SECTION 5: aking Your Game to the Next LevelChapter 17: ales rom an Irish Rest Stop 184

Te 10 Commandments o Mens Gol rips . . . . . . . . . . . . . 185

Chapter 18: Gas Guzzlers, Grease Monkeys, and

Gol Swings 201

What Does a eacher Really Do? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 202

Were All Dierent . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 204

Whats Stopping You? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 204

Chapter 19: Whacking the Snake 210

Te Pre-Swing Basics. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 211

Ball Flight Laws . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 215

Chapter 20: Get Shorty 219

Short-Game Shot Essentials . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 219

Putting. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 221Chipping . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 222

Pitching . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 222

What to Do When?. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 225

Be Athletic. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 225

Chapter 21: Horses or Courses 227

Embrace Your endenciesDont Fight Tem . . . . . . . . . . . 227

Te Best Tought Is No Tought . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 228Understand Uneven Lies . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 228

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Eliminate Compounding Mistakes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 230

Assess the Value o Risk. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 230

Realistic Improvement Requires Patience . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 231

Chapter 22: Found in ranslation 235

Te Rules You Need to Know . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 236

Chapter 23: A Roadblock or the Fast Lane? 249

Getting a Loved One Excited (About Gol ) . . . . . . . . . . . . . 250

Ace the Smell est . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 253

What Makes Gol So Special? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 254

Glossary . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 258

Acknowledgments. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 272

About the Author 276

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xv

Preface

I

ve had the privilege o working as an assistant gol proessional, teaching

proessional, head proessional, and director o gol at some o the coun-

trys most prestigious gol properties. Te Quarry at La Quinta is a xtureon the Gol Digest op 100 list, and in 2004 Te Club at Black Rock was

named Americas Best New Private Gol Course.

My experiences have consistently taught me one simple, unwavering les-

son about this maddening game: Preparation is no guarantee that the gol gods

wont punish you on any given dayor no apparent reason. However, its the

preparation and understanding o gol as a culture, the sum ar greater than

its parts, that compels us all to love it so much. Were all equals because at any

time, on any given course, this little mistress called gol may just knock us down,spank us, and leave us lying there with our pants around our ankles. Yet some-

how we always say thank you, and may I please have another?

Why is this so? Why is it that you can wander out to the local gol club on

a Saturday morning (or uesday aternoon, or that matter), spray it all over the

place or ve hours, lose three sleeves o balls, get a little sunburned, cough up

30 bucks in side action to your buddies, tweak your bum hip on that shank you

hit out o the rough on No. 13, and then revel deliciously over laughs and stories

with a ew ice-cold beverages in the clubhouse when its all over, knowing thatyou just had a truly great time? I know the answer, and I believe that ater read-

ing this book, you too will better understand this eisty temptress that we all

love to hate and hate to love.

Ive written this book or two reasons. First, I want to share my love o the

game and my experiences in working and playing with some o the most inter-

esting people in the world. Its my hope that I can help novices and experienced

golers alike to better understand the nuances that make gol not just a game

but a great game.

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xvi GOLF,NAKED

Second, Im revealing these secrets so that everyone, especially my knuckle-

headed buddies, will stop calling me incessantly with questions like these:

How do I talk about gol and not sound like a rookie?

What should I wear to the private club this Tursday to play gol with my

boss? I dont want to look and eel out o place.

How much cash should I bring?

How much should I tip the good-looking beer-cart girl?

Shenanigans! You said we were only playing or $2! How the heck do I

owe you $30? What s a press, anyway?

Whats the best old-ashioned gol prank I can pull on my jerk brother-in-

law this weekend?

How might I get my wie interested in the game?Whats an appropriate amount to pay my caddie? For that amount, what

should I expect to be done?

How much does a lesson cost? Is it worth it?

Is it a penalty i I move my ball when its sitting on a steaming pile o

animal dung?

EnjoyGol, Naked. I promise youll enjoy the game more thoroughly.

Tats me at the Bally Bandon Sheep Ranch. Im

much older (and stronger) than I look!

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Introduction 1

Introduction

T

heres no doubt Ive been blessed with a career that has presented many

unorgettable opportunities. I met my wie, supported my amily, and

traveled the worldall because o this game!Ive played on truly hallowed ground and remember many o the most

satisying shots o my lie like they were yesterday. Some were under extreme

pressure in ront o many, while others were witnessed by only a ew Jumping

Cholla cacti or Ponderosa pine trees.

Ive played (typically very poorly) on every imaginable degree o gol course

rom the shabby Indio Muni to the ultra-chic and impeccably maintained Quar-

ry at La Quinta. Ive played Riviera, Pinehurst, Big Horn, Ballybunion, Bally

Bandon, Bandon Dunes, Whiskey Run, and Royal County Down. Ive playedBlack Rock, Whisper Rock, Fire Rock, Red Rock, and Rimrock. Ive designed

a course at the Sheep Ranch one morning, and then played the Oregon Coast

shoreline as a bareooted single that evening. Ive played with a stick or a club

and a pinecone or a ball on a sandbar island in the middle o the raging Salmon

River. Ive played two hundred holes in twelve hours and raised $25,000 to give

to the Red Cross ollowing the 9/11 attacks. Ive even played on the surace o

the moon, or at least it elt like it, amid the coastal dunes at Cairn in Ireland.

Ive taught and played with men, women, juniors, seniors, celebrities, pro-essional athletes, PGA our players, and beginners, and Ive discovered the

universal theme thats apparent at every gol course in every part o the world:

Nobody wants to look stupid.

You need to be comortable on the gol course. Tats because this game can

strip you bare without warning or regretphysically, mentally, and emotionally.

Gol requires so much attention, and can be so utterly humiliating, that every-

thing else must support the ocused eort necessary to execute your swing. I

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2 GOLF,NAKED

you arent comortable in all o gol s language, behaviors, and preparations, then

your willingness to dive into its depths will certainly suer.

As one o 61 million golers worldwide, you probably share the same con-

cerns as the rest o us. Do you enjoy the game? Te camaraderie? Te challenge?

Have you ever elt nervous or a little unsure o what to say or dobeore, dur-

ing, or ater a round? Do you play better when youre by yoursel than you do

with your riends, amily, clients, or boss? Have you ever been distracted while

playing or a reason that had nothing to do with your next shot? Do you know

someone who youd like to help become more excited about the game? Most

golers all somewhere in the middle o the bell curveand i youre one o us,

then this book is or you.

Gol, Nakedwill give you condence. It oers the understanding that no onecares how well you play because everyone is worried about their own actions.

No one ever remembers your score (unless its really, really good). Tey willre-

member how you look and act. Tese tips and techniques will help you master

the rest o the gamethe real stu that truly demonstrates experience, comort,

condence, class, humility, and ultimately, golng grace.

Te goal here is simpleto help you unlock the secrets o all the little

things that go into the typical gol experience. When they become second

nature, youll enjoy your playing partners and the game more thoroughlynomatter where, when, or who youre playing.

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Introduction 3

Swing Thoughts

Te gol liestyle doesnt come with a blueprint. Te courses are vastly dierent,

as are the players and the reasons why they play. o help you achieve total gol

culture integration, Ive drawn you a road map. Sometimes the route is short,simple, and direct, and other times its much more circuitous, but the goal re-

mains the samea more enjoyable time at the course.

Gol, Nakedstarts with the decision to play gol. Sounds simple, right? From

there we move through the gol experience: Preparing to play, arrival at the course,

parking lot to the rst tee, playing the game, and wrapping up everything. Ten

well get into the nuts and bolts o the game, my teaching methodology, and a

practical understanding o the rules.

Here are a ew recurring themes that youll see throughout the book. Teyreintended to help make certain points clearer.

ROOKIE MISTAKES

Common errors Ive made, seen, and heard. I you seeyoursel in some o these examples, perhaps a change

in your customary behavior might be appropriate.

PEARLS FROM THE PRO

Wisdom I hope youll nd valuable and useul.

STORY TIME

Stories rom personal experience, or others Ive heard

that are worth sharing.

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4 GOLF,NAKED

HISTORY LESSON

Perspective on the game, the equipment, and the rules.

FACE PLANTS

Ive denitely allen on my ace more times than I careto remember. No matter how bad you might eel about

a particular perormance, someoneusually mehas

done something every bit as bad, or worse.

IF I RULED THE WORLD

I it were up to me to change some o the customs o theculture, this is what Id do. Dont mistake these or actual

rules; theyre just wishul thinking.

Now its up to you. Read, learn, live, love, dog-ear, highlight, laugh, and re-

cite. Use Gol, Nakedto learn the real rules and customs o the game, those that

your local gol pro wants you to know, and the ones that lead to comort and

condence at the course. Regardless o your experience and ability, youll not put

down this book unchanged.

See you on the other side . . .

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1

Off and Stumbling

Chapter 1Sweat the Small Stu

Chapter 2Slicing hrough a Snowstorm

Chapter 3

Gol 101

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CHAPTER 1

Sweat the Small Stuff

Gol is deceptively simple, and endlessly complicated; it satises

the soul and rustrates the intellect. A child can play it well anda grown man can never master it. It is almost a science, yet it is a

puzzle with no answer.

Arnold Palmer

Going to a gol course or the rst time as a beginner, or to a new course

or the rst time as an experienced player, can be utterly intimidating.

Ive learned this lesson in many ways over the course o my career.

None, however, was more poignant than my rst day o work at the Hayden

Lake Country Club in northern Idaho.

It was a Tursday aternoon in April 1997. A phone call to the PGA head-

quarters in Florida was all it took or me to of cially become an apprentice

proessional. No anare, no conetti and balloons, no cheers and hugs, just a

phone call. Big deal.

Shortly thereater, the annual Mens Opening Day ourney was starting. Te golers were scattering to their hole

assignments when word reached the gol

shop that one o the A players was a

no-show. So, yours truly was quick-

ly called into action, and beore I

knew it, I was being introduced by

the head proessional to the rest o

my team: Jim, sixtyish and a 10handicap; John, tyish

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Sweat the Small Stu 7

and a 14; and Willard, ninetyish and a mostly blind 27. I was told to ride with

Willard so I could help him spot his ball.

o make a long and painul story short, I was so nervous I shot a 103,

highlighted by a handul o shanks, tree ricochets, and even a wayward shot that

struck a passing motorist. All three o my mates beat me straight up. However,

as luck would have it, our team actually won the event. Willard played a career

round and carried the team to victory! Tere was some grousing by the other

participants that the team with the pro had wonthat it wasnt air. But, the

truth o my round was quickly exposed by my erstwhile teammates, and I was

ed to the wolves.

Fortunately, this strange culture o gol has become much less intimidating

since then. Not only have I personally learned the appropriate on- and o-course behaviors through instruction, modeling, trial and error, and thousands

o mistakes, but Ive also had to teach them to others at the beginning, middle,

and end stages o their journey.

A journey o a thousand miles must begin with a single step.

Lao zu

You Have to Start Somewhere

In act, a good riend o mine recently asked me to help him learn to gol. His

wie had played a handul o times and he wanted to surprise her by giving it a

go. Shhhhh! He visited the local gol megastore to explore and look at the ancy

equipment. Whoops! Sensory overload! He staggered out in a gear-inducedstupor and phoned me immediately. We met later that evening, and it didnt

take me long to realize our conversation was worth recording. I immediately

began to scribble with kids crayons on the back o my paper placemat:

(Ryan) Should I buy new clubs?

(Me) Maybe.

How do you know which clubs to buy?

Well, when youre rst starting outsee i you can borrow some. Youll want to

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8 GOLF,NAKED

try a ew times beore you buy some expensive equipment that youre not even

sure youre going to enjoy using. In that regard, its a lot like skiing.

How do you know which gol ball to use?

Whichevers the cheapestcause youre going to lose em all anyway. Someday

you might be able to tell the dierence between expensive and cheap gol balls,

but I doubt it. Certainly that day isnt today, nor is it tomorrow!

What is the dierence?

You see, gol balls used to be made o balata rubber, the harvested sap rom

trees in the rain orest, but now balata is rare, so balls are made rom compres-

sionless cores o compacted rubbery stu . . . Never mind, its pretty scienticand a multibillion dollar industry.

Te guy at the store said that I should be custom ft or clubs. Whats that?

Gol clubs can be built specically or your body and your swingbased on

your height, arm length, hand position at impact, strength, swing speed, lie an-

gle, shot trajectory, etc.

Does all that stu really matter?

Yes, eventually.

When?

I dont know. When you improve enough to eel as though youre ready to make

a serious investment in your equipment.

But how will I know that I like gol i the clubs Im using arent right or me?

Good question. For now, you can at least get a general understanding o thegame and see i it appeals to you, and regardless o club t, you should still be

able to hit a decent shot every now and again.

Sweet. Which club goes arthest?

ypically the 1-wood, or driver. But to start with, you wont hit it the arthest.

Youll probably hit a 5-wood or 3-wood arther. Tey arent actually made out

o wood anymore either. Woods are the big, at-headed, metal clubs with the

socks on them.

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Sweat the Small Stu 9

Huh?

Yeah, I know. Its conusing. Basically, until you become better, youll need the

added lot o the 3-wood or 5-wood to help get the ball into the air. When

your swing speed and your ability to hit the ball in the middle o the clubaceincrease, then youll be able to use the driver.

What are lot, swing speed, and clubace?

Arrrgh! Well get to that. It makes more sense when were actually swinging a

club at the range.

Whats a range?

Seriously?

Yeah.

Te practice area at the gol course.

Does every gol course have a range?

No. Not necessarily.

Ten how do people practice?Most dont.

Ten how do they get better?

Most dont.

Ten why do people play?

Because its un.

Is it un even i you suck?

Sure. But its denitely more un to be good.

Ive played miniature gol beore. Does that count?

Hey, its a start. Putting is super-important.

Is it more important to putt good or to hit the ball way out there?

Well.

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10 GOLF,NAKED

Well what?

Putt well. Its more important to putt well.

What?

Never mind. Most o a players strokes come within 50 yards o the green. So

yeah, its more important to your score to putt well. But honestly, its more im-

portant to your psyche and to the overall enjoyment o the game to hit the ball

a long ways.

Whats a green? Te whole course is green.

Youve gotta be kidding?! Te green is the closely mown area on each hole that

surrounds the agstick. Its where you putt on the gol course. Te really shortgrasslike carpet.

Is that where those sand pits are, too?

You mean bunkers. Bunkers can be anywhere on the gol course, but yeah,

they surround the greens in most cases.

What club do you use to hit with when youre in a sand pit?

Bunker. You use whatever club you think you can hit the proper distance basedon the length required or the shot and how deeply the ball is buried in the sand.

But usually, rom a greenside bunker, youll use a wedge.

How do you know which wedge to use? Is that like the 7-wedge or the 6-wedge?

No, those are called ironsbut theyre not really made out o iron. It depends

on how ar you want to hit the ball. Te longer the iron, measured by length in

inches, the lower and arther it goes and the lower the number thats on it. A

5-iron is longer, goes lower, and should go arther than a 9-iron.

How will I know how ar the ball goes?

Playing and practice.

How ar do you hit a 5-wedge?

5-iron. 195 yards.

Every time?

No. It depends on how well I make contact, how hard I swing, and the conditions

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Sweat the Small Stu 11

o the course and the weather. You knowwind, rain, temperature, grass length,

altitude, attitude, etc.

All o that matters?

Yes.

On every shot?

Yes.

Dude, one time my dog ate a bird.

No kidding.

I have learned that, i one advances condently in the direction

o his dreams, and endeavors to live the lie he has imagined,

he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.

Henry David Toreau

Culture Shock

Can you imagine moving to a oreign land and instantly adapting to its culturewith only a limited knowledge o the people, customs, or language? Impossible.

For instance, in some countries its customary to kiss total strangers upon intro-

ductionon the mouth. While in others, you dont even shake hands, because

its the hand that is used in lieu o toilet paper.

Among countless other actors, procient integration into a culture requires

a complex understanding o its vocabulary. Speaking a new language is difcult

enough without mastering the nuances such as context, tempo, tone, and inec-

tion. Add to that the need to walk, dress, spit, sneeze, stand up straight, andscratch onesel in the appropriate time and meter, and the task o becoming a

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12 GOLF,NAKED

competent goler may seem quite daunting. It might take years o stumbling

or just reading this book!

Te act is, theres a huge dierence in application between many o the o-

cial terms o the game and the real ones. For example:Ofcial: Good heavens, Buy! It appears that your ball in play, struck

rom the teeing ground with your 1-wood, has crossed the margin o the lat-

eral water hazard, designated by the red stakes and lines, entitling you to ve

relie options, one o which is to measure two club lengths rom that spot and

drop there.

Although the verbiage here is totally correct, i you talk like this youll sound

like an idiot. ry this instead:

Real: Honey, you snapped the big dog into the drink. Just drop up therewhere it went in.

Admittedly, this is less rened, but totally accurate and equally as acceptable.

Without ormal instructions, it seems to take between two and three years

to learn a new language, and thats when its used daily or is necessary or

survival. Anyone with children can conrm that. But when the words are only

used periodically, like every other weekend or the summer months, and when

the nonverbal communication carries an elevated importance, the task o cul-

tural assimilation can seem hopeless.

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Sweat the Small Stu 13

I dont remember learning to talkbut watching my daughters makes

me appreciate the process. I do remember learning to speak the language o

gol, and Ive seen hundreds make the same transition, rom goo-goo-gah-gah,

whis, and dubs to silver-tongued eloquence, roped 2-irons, and holes-in-

one. Have aith, it can happen.

Faith is being sure o what we hope or, and certain o what

we do not see.

Hebrews 11:1

Consider the Source

Men are our: He who knows not and knows not he knows

not, he is a oolshun him; He who knows not and knows

he knows not, he is simpleteach him; He who knows and

knows not he knows, he is asleepwake him; He who knowsand knows he knows, he is wiseollow him.

Lady Burton

Interestingly enough, practically all gol literature is written by someone with-

out PGA credentials. Tis seems like a total disconnect when you consider that

PGA-certied gol proessionals are the only ofcial practitioner-instructors othe sport and its culture. You wouldnt take piano lessons rom your accountant

just because he or she likes music, would you? You shouldnt take gol advice

rom any other source, either.

Te gol experience encompasses so much more than just swinging a club.

I a gol swing takes two seconds and you shoot 100, then only two hundred

seconds are spent golng during a typical round. Te rest is spent talking,

joking, searching, preparing, keeping score, relaxing, eating hot dogs, gambling,

admiring the view, and interacting with your ellow players. Tese are the realmeat and potatoes o the game.

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14 GOLF,NAKED

Dont get me wrong; prociency in the game is important, and well get to

it. But i youre not comortable at the gol course and i youre not committed

to the process, you wont come back.

Every gol experience begins with a simple decision to play. It can start with

a casual conversation in the locker room, a quick trip to the practice range while

youre headed home rom the ofce, or a ormal invitation rom your buddy to

an upcoming member-guest tournament.

Every gol experience has its own set o details. Where will you play? When?

Why? Who will you be with? Will you walk or ride? Do you have time to arrive

early? How early? What will you do with that timepractice, warm up, eat?

What will you wear, depending on conditions? Should you pay or your guest

ees, or will the host pick it up? What kind o betting should you expect, andhow much cash will that require? Can you write a check? What can you do to

make things easier on the sta? Will you have time to hide a pound o raw ham-

burger in the bottom o your buddys gol bag beore you leave post-gol? Will

he nd it beore he can smell it? Would you, i the bee was in your bag?

Contrary to the popular adage Dont sweat the small stu, in gol it s the

small stu that matters most. And in a game o unwritten rules and outdated

stereotypes, learning that small stu can be a daunting task.

Gozzer Ranch, Coeur dAlene, Idaho15th Hole.Photo provided courtesy o Gozzer Ranch,

Coeur dAlene, Idaho

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ISBN-13: 978-0-9815319-5-3

52495

US $24.95Sports & Recreation/Golf

eres so much more to golf than your score. Golf, Nakedteaches you to ace the rest of

the game. Its flat-out brilliant!

Andrew Magee, PGA Tour golfer, host of e Golf Channels e Big Break

is book says the things that all Pros wish our members knew but dont like telling them

ourselves. Golf, Nakeddoes the dirty work for me in a way thats fun for the reader.

Chad Stoddard, PGA Head Professional, Broken Top Club, Bend, OR

As a new golfer, I find much of the same satisfaction that I did as a professional skier.

Golf, Nakedputs into words something Id only previously felt: Golf, to me, is a

feelingnot the final score.

Josh Loubek, professional skier, Winter X Games head judge

Reading Golf, Nakeddefinitely helped me feel more comfortable at the local golf club that I

recently joined. At first I felt like a bull in a china shop; now I feel like I really belong.

Adam Deadmarsh, NHL star, Stanley Cup winner, Olympic silver medalist

Greg is a decent son. His book is better than I expected.

Sandra Rowley, Gregs mom, lousy golfer and marginal cook

How confident are you?Golf, Nakedcan make you comfortable and confident

with all of golf s language, behaviors, nuances, and

preparationsso you can focus on your game.