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Getting To YESChapter 1

Don’t Bargain Over Positions

Method of Negotiations

3 criteria to judge by

Is it a wise agreement? Is it efficient? Will it improve relationships?

bargaining – compromising - haggling

Arguing over positions produces unwise agreements

Errors

Locks you into a position

Ego takes over

Face saving

Bottom line – more attention paid to positions, the less to

underlying concerns

Arguing over positions is inefficient

Extreme positions

Prompt settlement will not be reached

Stonewalling

Dragging of feet

Threat of a walk out

All this increases time and cost.

Arguing over positions endangers an ongoing

relationship.

Battle of wits develops

Anger and resentment

This type of bargaining can shatter relationships.

Positional bargaining worsens as the amount of

negotiators increases

More people = more drawbacks

Coalitions among parties can form

Once position reached more difficult to

change or alter

Being nice is no answer

Soft Position

Friends

Goal agreement

Trust

Hard Position

Adversaries

Goal victory

Distrust

There is an alternative

Negotiation on the Merits (4 basic points)

People: Separate the people from the

problem

Interests: Focus on interests, not positions

Options: Generate a variety of

possibilities before deciding what to do

Criteria: Insist that the result be based on

some objective standard

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Getting To YESChapter 2

Separate the People from the Problem

Negotiators are people first

They bring emotions, values and different

backgrounds

They are unpredictable as well

Every Negotiator has two kinds of interests

Substance

Relationship

Parties relationships become entangled with their discussions of

substance

Egos tend to become involved in substantive positions

Positional bargaining puts relationships and substance in conflict

Separate the relationship from the substance

Treat each separately on its own legitimate merits

Base the relationship on accurate perceptions, clear

communications, appropriate emotions

Deal with people problems directly; use psychological

techniques for psychological problems

Three basic people problem categories

Perception

Emotion

Communication

Perception

Diverse interpretations—everyone thinks differently

Conflict is a cognitive manifestation—not an objective reality

See yourself in the shoes of another

Don’t deduce their intentions from our fears

Perception

Don’t blame them for your problem

When discussing the problem, separate the symptoms from the

problem

Look for opportunities to act inconsistently with their

perceptions

Send a message different from what they expect

Perception

Discuss each other’s perceptions

Give them a stake in the outcome

make sure they participate in the process

Make proposals consistent with their values

Emotion

Recognize and understand emotions Theirs and yours

Make emotions explicit Acknowledge them as legitimate

Allow the other side to let off steam

Don’t react to emotional outbursts

Use symbolic gestures

Communication

There can be no negotiation without communication

3 communication problems

Negotiators may not be talking to each other or in a way to be

understood

Others may not hear you despite clear and direct dialog

The other may misunderstand

Communication

Listen actively

Acknowledge what is being said

Speak to be understood

Speak about yourself, not about them

Use “I” phrases, not “You” phrases

Speak for purpose

Prevention

Build working relationships

Face the problem, not the people

It is hard to deal with a problem without people

misunderstanding each other—getting angry or upset and

taking things personally