SEND IN THE CLOWNSBY OLIVIA KERSHAW

SCENE 1

Lights up on the circus ring; all the circus performers are positioned at intervals around the edges of the ring, frozen in starting positions.

THE RINGMISTRESS: (over the opening bars of the music) Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Basconett Circus! Tonight we've got a fantastical show for you, so, to get us started, please give a big round of applause to our wonderful performers...!

(SONG - ENTRY OF THE GLADIATORS)

After the main dance is over, the music continues but drops in volume, and all the performers move to the corners of the stage, warming up, limbering etc. in character. While this is going on, they are all introduced one by one, and step forward as their name is announced.

THE RINGMISTRESS: And now, let me introduce the stars of our circus.... Sunshine! The circus's happiest rising star! Star! She truly is a star and always has a twinkle in her eye... Loopy! Too clumsy to be anything but a clown! Bee! The buzz of the show! Bella! She's a beauty and she tricks a beast...! Bubble! The shyest of us all, but don't burst her bubble! Lightning! She strikes the audience with her charm and talent! Twinkle! Walks through the stars and twinkles brightly... Apple! She may seem sweet but don't bite on the wrong side of her! Wendle! Our newest member, who travelled from far and wide to join us today for her first ever performance!

ALL: And last but not least, we would like to present to you our leader, The Ringmistress!

At this point, the music ends, and everyone freezes in their ending positions. There is a short pause, then everyone comes back to life, bowing, curtseying and waving goodbye to the audience etc. It is the end of the circus show and some time has passed. More circus music starts playing in the background until the end of the scene.

(SONG - END OF THE CIRCUS ORCHESTRAL)

The Ringmistress: Thank you, thank you ladies and gentlemen, for being such a fabulous audience tonight! Oh, and wasn't it a good show! Aren't my performers wonderful? But sadly now we've got to bid you au revoir... until next time! Farewell folks!!

ALL: Goodbye!!

Music fades, blackout.SCENE 2

The lights go back up on a circular dressing room, with everyone facing outwards, taking off make-up, adjusting costumes and hair etc.

BEE: Good show tonight, wasn't it?

LOOPY: Oh I know! It was fab! But my act kinda messed up.

BEE: Oh Loopy, don't worry about that- the audience love you being clumsy. We all know it's part of your act!

LOOPY: I guess you're right.

TWINKLE: I was s...s...s....so s....s...s...scared tonight Sunshine...

SUNSHINE: Calm down Twinkle- look, trust me, I'm sure your stage fright will get better soon!

TWINKLE: Well, here's hoping...

BUBBLE: Hey, Bella, what do you think of the new kid on the block?

BELLA: Who, Wendle? I don't know. She's a bit... weird.

BUBBLE: I know what you mean- there's just something a bit creepy about her.

LIGHTNING: Hey, Apple, you heard what Star's been saying about you?

APPLE: No, what?!

LIGHTNING: She says how bad you were tonight, that she's a much better dancer than you could ever be!

Apple looks outraged and marches across the circle to confront Star.

APPLE: You said I was a bad dancer, right?! Who do you think you are?

STAR: A better dancer than you.

APPLE: How can you even say that?

STAR: Because it's true, and we both know I'm better.

APPLE: Stop talking, right now!

Wendle enters silently in the background and circles the two arguing performers before stopping in between them.

WENDLE: Fighting, are we....? Oh no, we can't have that.

APPLE: But she said I was...

STAR: A bad dancer. Yeah.

WENDLE: Well, there's only one way to settle this (Pause, as Star and Apple look blank, not understanding her meaning)... A dance off!

(SONG - CIRCUS)

The music is cut short near the end, as Loopy clumsily knocks into one of the dancers and they all fall over like dominoes.

ALL: Loopy!

Loopy grins and shrugs. All the performers get up and start to leave.

BEE: Are you coming Star?

STAR: Not yet. I think I'll stay here for a while.

BEE: But the show's over now.

STAR: I know. But this circus can get so noisy sometimes, it gives me a headache- all of us backstabbing and competing. Sometimes I wish I was somewhere else.

BEE: That's just how it is I guess. See you later then?

STAR: Oh, I'll be along soon enough. I just need a minute...

Bee exits and Star moves to centre-stage looking wistful.

(SONG - WOULDN'T IT BE LOVERLY)

Blackout.

SCENE 3

The lights go up on The Ringmistress's office- she is sitting with Wendle, and they are scheming together.

THE RINGMISTRESS: Wendle, I can’t say it any differently, this circus is failing.

WENDLE: And?

THE RINGMISTRESS: And I need your help, to, errrmmm.... make some money.

WENDLE: I don't see how I can help you.

THE RINGMISTRESS: My circus performers. Hypnotise them. All that stuff you learnt in training, now is the time to start putting it into practice.

WENDLE: Says who?

TE RINGMISTRESS: Me. You owe me one, Wendle. Remember? If you can hypnotise all of them, imagine the possibilities. I've got it all worked out. The sky's the limit. We can set them robbing banks for us; every place in town'd be clean out of money in a week- just think, all that money, in our... capable.... hands.

WENDLE: Okay, okay... but how am I supposed to get near enough to hypnotise them? Haven't you seen the way they all look at me- they don't... trust me.

THE RINGMISTRESS: Oh don't be stupid, you're imagining things.

WENDLE: I'm not! Nobody ever likes me, wherever I go.

THE RINGMISTRESS: Well, they will, soon, with my help...

(SONG - POPULAR)

WENDLE: Okay, okay, you can shut up now; I get the idea. I suppose if you put it like that... we've got a deal!

The RINGMISTRESS: Yes!!!

WENDLE: But only if we split the profits 60/40.

The RINGMISTRESS: Wendle, this is my circus- not yours.

WENDLE: Well, 50/50 then? Go halves...?

THE RINGMISTRESS: If you think you can get around me that easily then you have another thing coming.

WENDLE: (beginning to walk away) Well, if you don't want my help...

The RINGMISTRESS: Wait, wait! Fifty-fifty, it's a deal!

WENDLE: Perfect!

Wendle and The Ringmistress carry out an elaborate handshake to 'seal the deal.'

WENDLE: This is wonderful! Now the world's at our feet.

(SONG - DON'T STOP ME NOW)

THE RINGMISTRESS: I told you we'd get what we want someday.

WENDLE: Maybe you were right.

THE RINGMISTRESS: Of course I was right- I'm The Ringmistress! Okay then, I suppose I'll leave you to practice. You'll need to be stronger than ever if you're going to take on the whole circus.

WENDLE: Good. Very good. I'll stick around here then and 'practice.' I know exactly what I'm going to do.

THE RINGMISTRESS: Excellent, we’re going to be RICH!

Blackout.

SCENE 4

Lights up on a rehearsal for the circus. Everyone except Wendle and Sunshine are present. Everyone is warming up, stretching and limbering etc, while some are talking in small groups. The Ringmistress is walking among them all.

APPLE: (gesturing towards The Ringmistress) She's not half working us overtime, isn't she!

LOOPY: I don't see the point in this rehearsal anyway. We usually get Saturday off.

BUBBLE: I know! It doesn't make sense. But haven't you noticed Wendle's not anywhere to be seen.

LOOPY: Oh yeah.

APPLE: That is a bit odd.

BELLA: She's not the only one- doesn't look like Sunshine's planning on turning up anytime soon either.

LOOPY: Oh, who cares about Sunshine, anyway!? All she ever does is smile and flounce around in that stupid little dress of hers.

The Ringmistress spots them talking and calls across the room.

THE RINGMISTRESS: Apple! Loopy! Bella! Bubble! Less talking, more rehearsing, please. This is all very

important.

LIGHTNING: So, why exactly is this rehearsal so important?

TWINKLE: Y...y...yeah, why?

THE RINGMISTRESS: Well, seeing as you're all so curious... I have a surprise for you all. Let's call it... out of this world.

LOOPY: Oooh, can't you tell us what it is?!

THE RINGMISTRESS: Don't you know the meaning of 'surprise' Loopy?

LOOPY: Of course I do.

THE RINGMISTRESS: Then don't ask. Otherwise it won't be a surprise, will it now?

LIGHTNING: She's not a little kid you know!

THE RINGMISTRESS: Temper, temper, Lightning. Haven't I taught you anything? It's really not going to get you anywhere.

LIGHTNING: Maybe if you stopped talking to us like a bunch of five year olds I wouldn't need to be losing my temper!

THE RINGMISTRESS: That's enough! This stops now. All of you. We rehearse. We practice for the next show. You all stay in line, or you'll be out of a job before you know it! Am I making myself clear?

APPLE: (sarcastic) Perfectly.

THE RINGMISTRESS: And I'll have none of your diva-ish ways in my circus.

APPLE: (exaggerated) Oh, I am sorry! I'll try so much harder next time!

THE RINGMISTRESS: Good.... Now, let's rehearse.

The Ringmistress moves away and stands at the side, everyone glares at the back of her and exchanges glances. She exits. There is silence for a while, before some angry whispering breaks out.

BEE: What's up with her?

LOOPY: I don't know.

BUBBLE: It's nothing new guys- The Ringmistress's always been tough with us.

LIGHTNING: This is different.

STAR: For once, I actually agree with Lightning. Something's going on...

APPLE: I don't like the sound of this 'surprise' either.

BUBBLE: I know!

BELLA: I don't like surprises.

APPLE: Well, put it this way, doesn't exactly sound like a nice surprise.

Wendle enters.

WENDLE: Did someone mention surprise?

LIGHTNING: Well look what the cat dragged in.

STAR: Where have you been, anyway, (pronouncing it wrong) Wendle?

WENDLE: For the last time, it's not Wendle, it's 'Vendle'!!

BEE: Whatever...! Where were you when The Ringmistress was giving us all grief? Skiving off rehearsals on your first week in the circus. You could lose your job.

WENDLE: As a matter of fact, Bee, I was in her office.

APPLE: Her office!?

WENDLE: Yes. Preparing a surprise for you all.

APPLE: Oh, so you put her up to it.

WENDLE: Nobody put me up to anything.

(BACKGROUND MUSIC - FORTUNE COOKIE)

As the spooky music plays, Wendle begins to hypnotise the performers. Flitting through them all, they freeze, heads on one side, like statues, with blank expressions on their faces.

WENDLE: (Over music) You will listen to me very carefully. You will all obey my every command. You will do as I tell you. You will let your evil side escape you, and let darkness reign. Apple to Cider. Lightning to Thunder. Star to Void. Bee to Wasp. Bubble to Cloud. Bella to Beast. Loopy to Chaos. Twinkle to Darkness. (Pause). Yes, yes, you will serve me very well indeed. My army of circus statues...!

The Ringmistress enters and looks around, impressed at the statues surrounding her. She approaches Wendle, who has sunk to the ground, physically drained.

THE RINGMISTRESS: Congratulations, Wendle! This is fantastic!.... Are you okay?

WENDLE: (Breathless) Fine... I'm just fine... just a little... weak, that's all. I've never used my powers like that before.

THE RINGMISTRESS: Well, I think you'll agree it's worth it. Have you seen their faces? Looks like your little trick worked.

WENDLE: (angry) It's not just some magician act, you know! Not just a 'little trick'! It's a noble oriental art which I have been gifted with.

THE RINGMISTRESS: No need to get into a state! We've succeeded.

WENDLE: I know! Isn't it great!?

They both break into hysterical laughter. They are so busy laughing, they don't notice Sunshine as she runs on.

SUNSHINE: Am I late!? Sorry I'm late! I didn't know there was a rehearsal- I thought we didn't.... (trailing off as she sees all of the statues) What's going on? Is this a new act or something? Guys? Twinkle...? Star...? Bee...?

She walks through some of the statues, waving a hand in front of some faces, but nobody moves or shows any sign of recognition. Wendle notices Sunshine and whirls around, nudging The

Ringmistress, who is still laughing at her success.

WENDLE: Sunshine!

SUNSHINE: What?

THE RINGMISTRESS: She's awake!? Why is she awake?

Sunshine isn't aware of the situation and smiles at The Ringmistress.

SUNSHINE: Of course I'm awake. It's 2pm, I'm not still in bed.

THE RINGMISTRESS: She's still herself. She's still.... happy. How could you let this happen? How could you make such a stupid mistake?

WENDLE: She wasn't there when I.... (in a hushed tone to The Ringmistress) when I did it. I didn't realise.

THE RINGMISTRESS: And I thought you were wise...

WENDLE: Never mind that now! Do something!

THE RINGMISTRESS: Can't you just hypnotise her?!

WENDLE: It doesn't work like that! I've used all my energy on the others. You're going to have to think of something!

SUNSHINE: Am I interrupting something? I'm sorry I'm late for the rehearsal, I only just remembered it was on.

THE RINGMISTRESS: Perfect! Sunshine, come here.

SUNSHINE: What is it?

(BACKGROUND MUSIC- THE APPRENTICE THEME)

THE RINGMISTRESS: You're fired.

SUNSHINE: (shocked) I'm.... I'm fired?

THE RINGMISTRESS: Absolutely. Starting now.

SUNSHINE: But... why?

THE RINGMISTRESS: You were late for my rehearsal. Nobody is late for my rehearsals without paying for it.

SUNSHINE: But I've been late before and you...

THE RINGMISTRESS: Exactly. Late one two many times. Today was the last straw.

SUNSHINE: Please. Please, you can't fire me. Where will I live? Where will I go?

THE RINGMISTRESS: Not my problem.

SUNSHINE: But the circus is my home, it's my life. I haven't got anyone else.

THE RINGMISTRESS: Hate to break it to you, but you haven't exactly got anyone here.... Face it, Sunshine, nobody likes you.

SUNSHINE: Why? For smiling, for being happy?

THE RINGMISTRESS: No. For being downright irritating.

SUNSHINE: You don't mean that. You used to like me, I know it.

THE RINGMISTRESS: You're right, I did, once. But, well.... not anymore! Come on Wendle, you carry on... erm... 'rehearsing' with the others.

WENDLE: Certainly. (Pause) Wake up everyone!

(BACKGROUND MUSIC - SPOOKY THEME)

All the performers come to life, but instantly we can see that they are 'evil' and scheming, creeping around and glaring at each other. They spot Sunshine and surround her.

LIGHTNING: Oh, so here she is then... itsy bitsy Sunshine.

APPLE: She's so small and meek.

STAR: Insignificant speck of dust, if you ask me.

SUNSHINE: Star? That's not you talking.

STAR: I'm not Star. I'm Void.

LOOPY: Don't you know anything?

They all laugh wickedly.

SUNSHINE: Don't laugh at me. You never used to!

BUBBLE: Oh yes we did.

BELLA:: She's right.

BUBBLE: We were always there, laughing behind your back.

BELLA: Who could blame us? You deserve every little bit of it!

SUNSHINE: Stop it! You don't mean it, any of you!

LIGHTNING: We're.... deadly serious.

SUNSHINE: Twinkle? What about you? You're not any different, are you?

Twinkle is obviously slightly reluctant, facing something of a battle with her conscience. There is a long pause, which Wendle notices with concern.

WENDLE: Twinkle! I mean... erm... Darkness! Concentrate!

SUNSHINE: I thought we were friends?

TWINKLE: You're nothing to me, Sunshine.

SUNSHINE: But I thought...

TWINKLE: You thought wrong.

SUNSHINE: I see your stammer's gone.

TWINKLE: (with a glimmer of recognition) I... that doesn't matter.

LIGHTNING: She used to be weak, and now she's not. What's bad about that?

WENDLE: Enough! She isn't worth it! Follow me now!

Like robots, they all automatically turn away from Sunshine and follow Wendle in a snaking line out of the room, exiting the stage. The Ringmistress stays behind.

THE RINGMISTRESS: Now do you see what I mean? You don't have friends here.

SUNSHINE: You've done something to them.

THE RINGMISTRESS: You will leave. Now. Pack up your things, and go. And Sunshine, do you understand me, you will never return to this circus, never- not while I am in charge. I want you gone within the hour.

The Ringmistress exits, leaving Sunshine by herself.

(SONG - OUT HERE ON MY OWN)

Sunshine looks around the circus one last time before exiting. Blackout.

SCENE 5

Lights up on the circus ring. Apple and Lightning (Cider and Thunder) are having a fist-fight in the centre of the ring. Everyone else is surrounding them, clapping and shouting, except Twinkle, who is sitting at the side, head in her hands.

ALL: Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!

APPLE: (while fighting) For the last time, Thunder, get off me!

LIGHTNING: No, you get off me!

STAR: (smug) Happy fighting, girls.

APPLE: You can shut up an' all!

BUBBLE: You shut up and keep fighting, Apple!

BELLA: Hah, I'm going to win our bet, Bubble.

BUBBLE: You wish!

LOOPY: (to Bee) Don't you just love a fight?

BEE: Great, isn't it!?

LOOPY: Hmm, let's join in!

BEE: Good thinking! Join us, Darkness? (no reply from Twinkle, who isn't recognising her 'evil' name) Darkness?

TWINKLE: Hmm? No thanks.

LOOPY: (sarcastic) Well, looks like you're turning out really evil, doesn't it?

Everybody except Twinkle joins the fight now. The Ringmistress and Wendle hear the commotion and come rushing in to break it up.

THE RINGMISTRESS: What!? Stop this now! All of you! (to Wendle) You said this wouldn't happen- why are they doing this?

WENDLE: Don't you know anything? It's what you do when you're evil.

THE RINGMISTRESS: Well, you'd better stop them now, or else!

WENDLE: Or what? If I can't stop them, nobody can. They answer to me, and me alone.... (shouting) You will all stop this NOW!!!!

All the circus performers stop fighting instantly and form a long straight line, looking blank and hypnotised. There is a short silence.

THE RINGMISTRESS: That's better.... You shame me. All of you. Like zoo animals, the lot of you. You're supposed to be a team, remember? A circus company?

WENDLE: Hurry up! I need to speak!

THE RINGMISTRESS: Very well. We've got instructions for you now. Wendle...?

APPLE: More instructions? Boooooring.

WENDLE: Silence! You have a purpose, all of you. And you will do exactly what I tell you to.... You will go to Barclays Bank, at precisely 1am in the early hours of tomorrow morning. You will split into groups, disable every last alarm, every last security measure. You will get into the bank, into the vaults. You will take every last penny. Until there is nothing left. Then you will come back here, you will give me...

THE RINGMISTRESS: Ahem.

WENDLE: You will give.... us... the money. And you will forget it ever happened. Am I making myself clear?

ALL: Clear as crystal.

WENDLE: Good. That is all.

THE RINGMISTRESS: Don't you think you're forgetting something, Wendle?

WENDLE: No?

THE RINGMISTRESS: (loudly, exasperated) Sunshine!

Twinkle's head snaps up at the mention of Sunshine and she suddenly looks confused.

WENDLE: Of course- Sunshine! The rebel clown. None of you must go near her. From now on, interaction with Sunshine is strictly prohibited.

TWINKLE: (standing up) Sunshine....! I've got to find her!

THE RINGMISTRESS: Wendle, what's wrong with her?!

TWINKLE: What's happening? What did you do to me? No, that's not right.... what did you do to her?

APPLE: No you don't, stupid.

LIGHTNING: Not unless you want a black eye.

WENDLE: (proudly) That's the spirit, girls. Twinkle, did you hear what I just said? Sunshine is off limits. She isn't one of you anymore.

TWINKLE: Oh, but she is!

THE RINGMISTRESS: Darkness, I'm warning you!!

TWINKLE: You can't control me! Not anymore! And my name's not Darkness... it's Twinkle! I'm going to find Sunshine, and I'm going to put this right! You're not going to get away with it!

Twinkle runs offstage before they can catch her. The Ringmistress makes after her, but Wendle pulls her friend back quickly.

WENDLE: There's no point chasing her! What good will she do to us now?

THE RINGMISTRESS: (struggling against Wendle) You... don't...understand! I am The Ringmistress- I must... have.... control over MY CIRCUS!!!

WENDLE: It doesn't matter. They can't do anything. She can't stop us.

THE RINGMISTRESS: (calmer) Okay. (pause). The plan still goes ahead. Tonight.

BUBBLE: Tonight?

LOOPY: But what about Darkness?

STAR: Yeah. We can't just let her escape.

WENDLE: You will forget her. She is nothing.

BELLA: Yes, Wendle.

BEE: We understand.

THE RINGMISTRESS: Good. Then remember. 1am. Be there.

Blackout.

SCENE 6

Sunshine is sitting on the ground with her bag next to her, looking lost and sad. Twinkle enters.

TWINKLE: Sunshine!!

SUNSHINE: Twinkle? (standing up) Stay away! I know what they've done to you.

TWINKLE Wait, you don't underst....

SUNSHINE: I know what you are now! You can't get me.

TWINKLE: But I want to help you.

SUNSHINE: Really? Of course that's what Wendle told you to say!

TWINKLE: Wendle didn't tell me to do anything.

SUNSHINE: Well.... where's your stammer then?

TWINKLE: I don't know. It's just gone.

SUNSHINE: I don't believe it. You're... evil, aren't you? Aren't you?

TWINKLE: I'm not.

SUNSHINE: You are.

TWINKLE: Look, will you just listen to me for a minute!? I was hypnotised, okay. We all were. Apple and Loopy and all the rest of them. Turned 'evil.' Dark. The Ringmistress, Wendle, it's all part of their plan. They're going to set all the others robbing banks. But then suddenly, I knew it was all wrong. They couldn't control me anymore.

SUNSHINE: So you came to find.... me?

TWINKLE: Yes. You're my only friend.

SUNSHINE: Am I? I thought you all hated me... That's what The Ringmistress said. It's what all of them said. All the time, everyone laughing at me, making jokes behind my back....

TWINKLE: They don't mean it. Half of them are clowns. It's their job to laugh at people.

SUNSHINE: I'm a clown. And I don't laugh at them.

TWINKLE: Trust me, just for once.

(SONG - NOT ALONE)

SUNSHINE: I never should have doubted you.

TWINKLE: It's not your fault.

SUNSHINE: Okay... So what do we do now?

TWINKLE: Well, they're going to attempt to get into the bank tonight. 1am. That's what The Ringmistress told us anyway. Here's my plan....

Blackout.

SCENE 7

All the 'evil' circus performers: Loopy, Apple, Bee, Star, Bella, Bubble and Lightning, are poised to carry out the bank robbery. Some background music plays as they carry out the heist, making formations and rolling along the ground, in true circus style, disabling alarms. They make it into the building.

(BACKGROUND MUSIC - TROUBLE)

LOOPY: We made it! We made it!

APPLE: I know! Aren't I just the best!?

STAR: What are you even talking about? We all did it, together.

APPLE: You couldn't have done it without me though.

STAR: Hah. Sure I could have.

BUBBLE: Stop fighting you two!

LOOPY: So, erm, we're inside the bank.... Now what?

APPLE: Now, we, erm, steal the money. Yep, we clear the vaults out.

BEE: Wait! What's that noise?

Sunshine and Twinkle enter warily.

APPLE: Look everyone, it's the traitors!

LOOPY: The rebels....

STAR: Sunshine and Twinkle, both together.

BEE: The weakest of us all. Always the weakest.

BELLA: (sarcastic) And you really thought you could come here and stop us!?

LIGHTNING: What a laugh!

TWINKLE: Don't you see what Wendle's done to you? You all said there was something weird about her right from the start. She hypnotised you all.

SUNSHINE: Yes. You're not yourselves. Any of you. Can't you feel it's not right!? Look, I know the real you is down there somewhere.

APPLE: Why should we listen to you!?

TWINKLE: Because I fought it. I used to be hypnotised too, but now I'm not. I got back control over my own mind. And so can all of you.

SUNSHINE: Trust us. Please.

LOOPY: Who cares? I'm getting the money now.

BEE: Loopy!! No!!!

Loopy trips into a box on the floor, triggering the main alarm system. We hear the alarms really loudly ring through the building. All the evil performers clutch their heads suddenly- the alarm has broken the hypnosis and they're all themselves again. They all glance around, looking terrified.

(SOUND EFFECT - BURGLAR ALARM)

APPLE: (terrified) What's happening...?

STAR: Not so brave now, are you Apple?

SUNSHINE: Not now Star!

BEE: What are we doing here?

TWINKLE: You're... erm... well, you're robbing a bank, Bee.

LIGHTNING: Yeah, and stupid clumsy Loopy just set the burglar alarm off!

(SOUND EFFECT - POLICE CAR SIREN)

APPLE: Great! Now the police are after us! If we get caught I'm going to kill you Loopy!!

LOOPY: I'm sorry guys.

APPLE: You'll be more than sorry when I'm through with you.

SUNSHINE: Please stop fighting! Please!

BEE: But, why were we even robbing a bank in the first place?

TWINKLE: Long story.

The police sirens fade. Everyone freezes in horror. Blackout.

SCENE 8

The Ringmistress and Wendle are at the circus, awaiting the return of the performers they still believe to be hypnotised. The Ringmistress keeps glancing at her watch. She stands up and paces up and down the room.

WENDLE: Would you stop pacing!? You're making me nervous!

THE RINGMISTRESS: I can't help it! It's been three hours! Something must have gone wrong!

WENDLE: Don't be ridiculous.

THE RINGMISTRESS: I'm not being ridiculous- you know what must have happened? You cheated me... Your hypnosis probably doesn't work, and all MY performers are probably now halfway on a plane ride to Las Vegas with MY MONEY!!!!!

WENDLE: Well, to be fair, it wasn't really your money in the first place....

THE RINGMISTRESS: You dare, Wendle......

The Ringmistress's mobile phone rings (cheesy circus theme ringtone).

WENDLE: Who on earth's ringing you at this time!?

THE RINGMISTRESS: (panicked) Aaargh!! I don't know, I can't answer it!

WENDLE: Oh for pity's sake, give it here!

THE RINGMISTRESS: No, no no! I'm answering, I'm answering! (answers phone, instantly puts on 'business-like' voice) Hello, Basconett Circus, Ringmistress speaking.... Yes.... Ermm, yes.... hmmm- when did I last see my circus performers? Oh, well, that's all a matter of opinion, Officer.... They've been trying to rob a bank!? Oh no, no, I don't know anything about it, how could you even.... Yes, yes, certainly,of course.... Well, speak tomorrow then. Goodbye. (phonecall ends)

WENDLE: Well, what is it? What is it?! Say something!!

THE RINGMISTRESS: That was the police.... They want us to go 'downtown', ask us a few... questions. (gulps)

WENDLE: Sounds like an interrogation to me. You know what this means, don't you...?

THE RINGMISTRESS: Yes. (pause) It means we're suspects.

The Ringmistress and Wendle look at each other in horror. Blackout.

SCENE 9

All of the circus performers are together in a large jail cell, everyone is silent and gloomy.

APPLE: I knew we shouldn't have done it.

STAR: (not as sure of herself as usual) Yeah right. That's not what you were saying before.

APPLE: Well, I didn't know how it would turn out...

LOOPY: I'm so sorry guys. This is all my fault.

BEE: No it's not. It's Wendle and The Ringmistress. They tricked us.

LIGHTNING: Look, can we all stop looking miserable for a moment? We're innocent. That should count for something. Let's make the best of it. Who's with me?

BUBBLE: I am! You're right! We've got to show everyone we're innocent!

BELLA: Yeah, and what's the best way we know how, girls?

TWINKLE: I think I know what you're talking about Bella.

BUBBLE: Time for a dance number!

Bella, Bubble and Twinkle all stand one by one. They do a tap dance to the song below with Lightning. Everyone sings along, and by the end of the number, everyone is in much better spirits.

(SONG - JAILHOUSE ROCK)

BEE: That was amazing!

LOOPY: I know!

BUBBLE: See, I knew a song and dance would make us all feel better!

APPLE: You know something. I reckon we're going to get out of here.

STAR: Well, they can't lock us up. Lightning's right. We're innocent.

BEE: (sad) But how can we convince the police? Our story's not very realistic- a host of circus performers get hypnotised by a freaky clown who was hired by the corrupt Ringmistress and that's why they were trying to rob a bank in the dead of night.... Who's ever going to believe that?

BELLA: You do have a point.

BEE: I know we fight and we argue so much, but you're all my best friends. I can't imagine leaving you all.

APPLE: Nobody's leaving anyone, Bee. Hate to break it to you, but as long as we're in this jail, we're

all going to be together.

BEE: That's not what I mean. After this, the Basconett Circus is over. It's finished. After what The Ringmistress did, we won't be allowed to perform again. Even if we do get out. I'm going to miss you all so much.

STAR: Don't talk like that Bee. It's not the end.

Star begins to sing the first verse, then Sunshine gets up and sings the chorus solo, and Bee sings the whole of the second half by herself. Everyone sits around them,appreciating the song for it's true meaning. The atmosphere is very emotional.

(SONG - FOR GOOD)

BEE: You're right. We need to stay strong.

SUNSHINE: I promise we won't get split up, Bee.

STAR: We won't let that happen, will we Sunshine?

SUNSHINE: Since when was there ever a 'we'? I thought you all hated me...

APPLE: We don't hate you! You're one of us Sunshine- we just get... well, a bit jealous of you sometimes.

SUNSHINE: What's there to be jealous of about me?

LOOPY: Well, you make everyone laugh. You've always had the audience in your pocket Sunshine.

APPLE: And you always kept smiling even when we were horrible to you...

BEE: I guess, what we're trying to say is, sorry.

LIGHTNING: Yeah. I'm sorry.

SUNSHINE: Thanks, but you really don't need to say sorry. It's the least of our worries right now.

TWINKLE: Well, I'm just glad that's settled. Have you seen the time!? I think we should try and get some sleep now.

BEE: Good idea. I'm exhausted.

BELLA: So am I. It's enough to put you off robbing a bank forever!

STAR: Not that we're going to do that again, Bella!

LIGHTNING: Come on. Let's go to sleep.

BUBBLE: I'm not tired! How can you possibly feel sleepy after all that's happened!?

BELLA: (yawning) I dunno, really. Just am.

BUBBLE: Well, you go to sleep then. I'm not sleeping in the middle of this mess!

BELLA: Do whatever you want! We're in jail, it's not as if it's actually going to matter.

BUBBLE: No, Bella, every moment in here really does matter.

Bella settles down to go to sleep but sits up slightly and watches Bubble dance.

(SONG - THE SHOW MUST GO ON)

Bubble looks defiant as she ends the dance, and looks round to find Bella is still awake, watching her.

BELLA: That was beautiful.

BUBBLE: (shy suddenly) I didn't know you were watching!

BELLA: Everyone else is asleep.

BUBBLE: I know, but....

BELLA: No buts, Bubble, that was some really amazing dancing.

BUBBLE: No it wasn't. It was just me messing about.

BELLA: I don't care what it was, it was gorgeous.

BUBBLE: (embarassed) Oh, well, thank you Bella.

BELLA: If The Ringmistress had known about your dancing, maybe she wouldn't have needed to hire Wendle and go through with this stupid plan. You'd have been able to keep the circus going all by yourself dancing like that....

BUBBLE: Well, it's too late now. Even if we're lucky enough to get out of here, there probably won't even be a circus to go to.

SCENE 10

The Ringmistress and Wendle are in a secure room at the police station, being interrogated, sitting in chairs back to back. We only hear their replies, and not the questions of the police.

THE RINGMISTRESS: (very rehearsed) Well, you see, the thing is, Officer, people like us, like me and Wendle, we're at the top of our careers. The circus is a complicated business, sir, and especially the Basconett Circus. My circus...

WENDLE: (interrupting) What she's trying to say is, really, that circus can be dangerous. Very dangerous. We all dabble in magic and the like. And I'm no exception. I trained for five years with the best magicians there are. I'd like to show you what I mean...

THE RINGMISTRESS: Let's show them then, Wendle.

As the music starts, The Ringmistress produces a saxophone and plays the tune while Wendle carries out a mime of her hypnosis and the bank robbery that ensued etc etc.

(SONG - THE PINK PANTHER THEME)

WENDLE: And so you see, Officer, we didn't mean any harm. I was just... trying out my new skills. But I need more practice. I hadn't ever tried them on so many people at once. And, well, it went slightly wrong....

THE RINGMISTRESS: Yes, absolutely! Before we knew what was happening, they'd all turned 'evil'.... dark, almost. It's hard to explain. Somehow it went wrong. They went on the rampage through town, got it into their heads to go and rob the bank. It's not their faults. My circus performers are bound by the Eight Clown Commandments. They would never dream of doing something like this.

WENDLE: She's right. It's all a big misunderstanding. We can prove it to you. Here's a list of the commandments. All clowns, all circus performers, we've got to follow them. Here are the first ones.... (she produces a book and clears her throat to begin reciting the rules) Ahem... (pause) You don't need to hear them...?

THE RINGMISTRESS: You believe us, Officer?

WENDLE: We promise this will never happen again. We were wrong to try out my powers on the circus performers.

THE RINGMISTRESS: You're letting us go? You're going to free them all as well?

WENDLE: This is wonderful. Thank you so, so much. So we won't have, you know... a criminal record or anything? (Pause) Good. Well, you know what we've got to do now, don't you? Go and greet our circus, and get it back on track.

THE RINGMISTRESS: Come on then!

Wendle and The Ringmistress stand up and go out of the room. Blackout.

SCENE 11

The performers are asleep on the ground. The Ringmistress and Wendle enter and sit down on chairs. Some of the performers start to stir and wake up.

BEE: Aaaargh! It's you!!

APPLE: (half-asleep, not realising what is happening) Wassup Bee...? (she yawns, opens her eyes, and spots the two) You two! What are you doing here?

BEE: Wake up everyone!!

Everyone starts to get up. Loopy stumbles backwards, as far away from Wendle as she can get. She hides behind Bee.

LOOPY: Yikes! Keep her away from me!

THE RINGMISTRESS: Wait, you don't understand...

SUNSHINE: Actually, I think you'll find we understand perfectly.

BUBBLE: Yeah. You tricked us. You got us locked up. And now you've been found out as well!

STAR: Well, how's that for a nice bit of justice?!

WENDLE: Shhhhhh!

THE RINGMISTRESS: Be quiet! Someone'll hear you!

LIGHTNING: Too late for that! Ever wondered what my fist feels like? Because you're about to get it, Ringmistress- you lied to us all!

Lightning advances towards The Ringmistress, fists raised for a fight. Bubble and Bella pull her back.

WENDLE: Listen to us! We're here to get you out!

BEE: You're breaking us out of jail?! Oh no, we're innocent, I'm not going on the run- I'll look guilty.

LOOPY: She's right, we can't break out!

WENDLE: That's not what I meant!

APPLE: Too right it's not! You're lying again, right?

SUNSHINE: No, Apple, wait.... (to the two) Explain yourselves.

THE RINGMISTRESS: Okay, okay. Come in close. I can't risk one of the wardens hearing us.

TWINKLE: How do we know you're not lying again?

THE RINGMISTRESS: Because we're all in the same boat here!

Everyone gathers into a tight huddle around The Ringmistress, who stage-whispers the next bit.

BELLA: Okay then. Tell us what's going on.

THE RINGMISTRESS: Wendle and I told the police it was an accident, the hypnosis.

APPLE: (sarcastic) Oh yeah, the bit where you turned us all evil...?

THE RINGMISTRESS: Ahem. Yes. We said that Wendle was trying out her powers and it, erm.... went a bit wrong.

LIGHTNING: And you're telling me the police swallowed that!?

WENDLE: More than swallowed it. They 100% believed it.

BEE: So what are you saying?

WENDLE: Well, the main point is that, we're all being let off. It's being viewed as a big misunderstanding. We're here to take you home to the circus.

There is a long silence as the news sinks in. Everyone is shocked. The Ringmistress breaks the ominous pause.

THE RINGMISTRESS: (nervous laugh) Isn't that... erm, great?!

APPLE: Wait just a minute. You're seriously trying to tell us that you just lied to the police?

BEE: You managed to get us off as well as yourselves?

LOOPY: And you explained away the bank robbery!?

WENDLE: Well.... yes.

LIGHTNING: This is wrong. You can't just march in here as if nothing ever happened, haul us off and carry on as normal!

BUBBLE: I agree! What if we don't want to go along with your little scheme?

BELLA: What if we don't trust you? You can't blame us after what you did to us all.

SUNSHINE: Wait! Don't you think we might be being a little hasty here.... I mean, they could have just got themselves off and made an escape.

TWINKLE: Sunshine's right. Much as I hate the both of them, they have gone to the trouble of getting us out.

LOOPY: Only so The Ringmistress can carry on bossing us all round in her circus!

THE RINGMISTRESS: Hey! That's not fair!

BEE: Look, you tricked us all. You and Wendle lied. What if we don't want to follow you out of here like the Pied Piper?!

WENDLE: Why don't we all just calm down. I'm sure we can sort this out without losing our tempers....

APPLE: Okay. Maybe Sunshine is right. At least they did get us out of here. Maybe we should make a deal with them. Here's my idea.... Why kick up a fuss if we've got a clear ticket out of jail? Let's do this on our terms. It's our circus as much as it's The Ringmistress's! From now on, we have more say in what goes on, how our circus is run. We all decide on what we perform, when the shows are, how everything is. Not just you and your hypnotic sidekick there (pointing to Wendle).

THE RINGMISTRESS: (bored) Is that all?

APPLE: No, it isn't. We don't want to be called the Basconett Circus anymore, do we guys?

BELLA: No way!

BUBBLE: We need to make a fresh start.

LIGHTNING: Basconett doesn't even mean anything, anyway.

THE RINGMISTRESS: Hey! I chose that name!

APPLE: Exactly. And now we're taking back the right to choose the name ourselves.

STAR: How about the Little Miss Circus?

BEE: (confused) Little Miss?

STAR: Yeah. We're all girls, aren't we? How about we take on new stage names. Then it really is a fresh start. So, I can be Little Miss Starry-Eyed, and.... hmm, Sunshine, you can be Little Miss Sunshine.

SUNSHINE: (laughing) I like the sound of that!

THE RINGMISTRESS: Hang on a minute... What if I don't like this deal?

APPLE: You don't have a choice. If you don't go along with our plan, we go straight to the police.

BEE: Looks like your hands are tied, Ringmistress.

WENDLE: Very well. I'm with you. (looks at her friend) Ringmistress?

THE RINGMISTRESS: Oh... oh, very well.... But I'm not very happy about this!

WENDLE: You heard them. We don't really have a choice.

THE RINGMISTRESS: Okay then. From now on, we call it the Little Miss Circus. I give you more say etc etc etc. (bored again) Can we go now?

APPLE: (taking charge) Yes, if everyone agrees?

BEE: Fine by me.

LOOPY: I can't wait to get out of this jail.

APPLE: Come on then, let's go.

(BACKGROUND MUSIC - EYE OF THE TIGER)

Everybody parades out of the jail to the strains of this music. Blackout.

SCENE 12

The lights go up on the very final scene. It is the opening night of the brand new Little Miss Circus. Everyone is in opening positions for the finale.

THE RINGMISTRESS: Welcome, everyone, welcome to the first ever performance of the Little Miss Circus....! The same cast of performers, a new range of acts and guaranteed excitement all round! You're in for a treat tonight, so sit back and enjoy the beginning of a glittering new era for our circus!!!

Nothing happens. The music doesn't start. The Ringmistress looks around, a little confused.

THE RINGMISTRESS: Erm, sorry, looks like we might have some kind of.... technical hiccup here... techie guy up there, are you listening to me!? It's time for the music!!!

Suddenly, all the performers seize Wendle and The Ringmistress and drag them into a cell at the side of the stage. The pair struggle against the circus performers.

WENDLE: What are you doing!? Get off me!!

THE RINGMISTRESS: You dare! I'm your leader!! I thought we had a deal!?

APPLE: Thing is, when we made that deal, I had my fingers crossed! (she laughs)

BUBBLE: Did you really think we were going to let you get away with it all!?

BEE: First thing we did was get straight on the phone to the police. We told them everything.

STAR: And so you see, we're not going to have a Ringmistress anymore.

BELLA: We don't need a leader. We're a team.

LOOPY: Hear hear!

LIGHTNING: And if you try and argue, Ringmistress, and you Wendle, you'll have us to answer to!

WENDLE: (angry) MY NAME IS VENDLE!!!!!!!!!

LIGHTNING: Whatever!

SUNSHINE: Leave them, girls! Let's give the audience a real show.

TWINKLE: Good thinking. This is the first show of many, and nobody's ever going to forget it!

(SONG - DON'T STOP BELIEVIN')

The Ringmistress and Wendle join in the song from their cell at the side of the stage. As the song finishes and everyone is in ending positions, the lights go down for the final time.