GAZETTE - MARCH 2017.

Turramurra HailstormIn the late afternoon of Saturday 18 February, a moderately severe hailstorm passed over Turramurra, St Ives and surrounding areas.

The Clubhouse suffered some damage in the form of broken skylights, and quite a few members’ cars incurred hail damage.

Picture shows No.1 green after the event.

News from the Men’s ClubThe Club Pairs Final between George Lee & Ken Wallis against Herb Brenner & Geoff Hamilton will be played on Sunday 5th March.

The Club played against Killara in the Cyril South competition on Wednesday February 22nd. The team lost by 2 shots overall, winning 2 rinks and losing one.

The Club has entered a side in the Jacobs Creek event which is part of the annual Tapner Tournament at St. Ives Bowling Club. This event will be played on Thursday March 2nd.

The nomination sheet for the 2017 Major Singles is on the board and the 1st round will be played on Sunday 19th March. We encourage ALL members to enter our Club Championships.

Pennant season has arrived and the 1st round will be played on Saturday 4th March. We wish all members good bowling and an enjoyable Pennant season.

The Vets and Super Vets play their annual bowls day at Harbord on Monday 6th March. Have a great day Gents.

The next Club Championship on the calendar after the Major Singles is the Club Triples starting on June 10th.

Geoff “Rowdy” Martz

.

We are a local family owned business, who pride ourselves on reliability and attention to detail on all jobs. All work is done to Australian Standards, we specialise in lights, power, switchboards and fans. Pensioners discount available.

PRESIDENT’S REPORT FOR LADIES CLUB

The major singles saw the final played between Jan Martin and Marilyn Brenner. It was a good close game eventually Jan snuck ahead to win comfortably, Congratulations Jan on winning her first Major Singles title and well done to Marilyn on reaching the final.

At our General Meeting this month our new constitution was passed by our members and will be forwarded to head office.

We are looking forward to our Ladies Club 60th Birthday and Friends Day on Tuesday 7th March, I encourage you all to come along and enjoy the celebrations. If you have any friends that are members at another club feel free to invite them to join us.

On Sunday 5th March the Blind Bowlers Organisation will be having a training day in preparation for the State Titles in May. Anyone is welcome to come along and meet the players. Sandy has been chosen as part of the team.

We are looking forward to our pennant season, good luck and good bowling to all

Sue Hamilton President

MIXED BOWLS REPORT

The Entry form for the 2017 Mixed Fours is on the board and more entries are requested. We should keep these events ongoing so try to put a team together and have some fun. Some interesting games have developed in past years.

Look for the Friday afternoon games at 12.45p.m. and/or the ‘Twilight Bowls’ at 4.15p.m. This is to test the feeling of members to see if Friday bowls are a ‘goer’.WP.

MAHJONG AND CARD DAY Card day this month is Monday 20th mARCH, starting 10 am. Lunch at noon $12. Lucky door prize??Mahjong as well on that day. Everyone is welcome (bring a friend, especially beginners)

Mahjong is also every Monday from 1 pm $5 with afternoon tea.

For your diary, please note; No play on Monday 17th April (Easter Monday) or 12th June (Queens Birthday) or 17th July (bowling day) or 2nd October (Labour Day) and no card day on 18th

December.

Please note 10am Monday 20th November cards and mahjong plus Christmas Lunch. Breakup-11th December 2017.

Enquiries; Jeanette Staniland 9489 5616 – and Val Parry 9144 2473

MEN’S AND MIXED BOWLS PROGRAMME FOR MARCH 2017 WED 2 MAR M Sponsored Day SAVILLS Cordeau MarshallSAT 5 MAR M Sponsored Day SOUTHERN CROSS CARESUN 6 MAR All 1st Sun SAVILLS Cordeau Marshall H/cap Pairs SAVILLS Cordeau MarshallSUN 6 MAR M Club Pairs Championships P4 SAVILLS Cordeau MarshallSUN 6 MAR All Mixed Triples Championships MT 1 SAVILLS Cordeau MarshallSUN 6 MAR All 2nd Sunday Jackpot Mixed Pairs SAVILLS Cordeau MarshallWED 9 MAR M Sponsored Day TURRAMURRA COMMUNITY BANKSAT 12 MAR M State Pennants Grade 2 to 7 Rd 1 Zone 9SUN 13 MAR M SENIOR'S WEEKSUN 13 MAR M Major Singles Championships C1SUN 13 MAR All 2nd Sunday Mixed Pairs SAVILLS Cordeau MarshallMON 14 MAR M Veterans / Super Veterans Day Zone 9 Venue HarbordWED 16 MAR M Sponsored Day GUARDIAN FUNERALSSAT 19 MAR M State Pennants Grade 2 to 7 Rd 2 Zone 9SUN 20 MAR SENIOR'S WEEKSUN 20 MAR All 3rd Sunday MuftiSUN 20 MAR M Major Singles Championships C2SUN 20 MAR All Mixed Triples Championship MT 2WED 23 MAR M Sponsored Day PINNACLE HEARING PYMBLEFRI 25 MAR ~ GOOD FRIDAY / CLUB CLOSED

SAT 26 MAR All EASTER BOWLSTriple

S MULTIPLE SPONSORS

SUN 27 MAR All 4th Sunday OpenTriple

S MULTIPLE SPONSORSMON 28 MAR All EASTER BOWLSWED 30 MAR M Sponsored Day McCARROLL'S AUTO GROUP

LADIES BOWLS PROGRAMME FOR MARCH 2017 WED 1 MAR ST IVES TAPNERTHU 2 MAR SOCIAL BOWLS SPENNANT PRACTICESAT 4 MAR WEEKEND TRIPLESTUE 7 MAR FRIENDS DAY /60TH BIRTHDAY SPOUTHERN CROSS CARETHU 9 MAR PENNANT PRACTICESAT 11 MAR WEEKEND TRIPLESTUE 14 MAR PENNANTS/SOCIAL BOWLS R1 SAVILLS COREDEAU MARSHALLTHU 16 MAR PENNANTS R2SAT 18 MAR WEEKEND TRIPLESTUE 21 MAR PENNANT/SOCIAL/COMM MEET R3 FARINA PIZZERIATHU 23 MAR PENNANTS R4SAT 25 MAR WEEKEND TRIPLESTUE 28 MAR PENNANTS/SOCIAL BOWLS R5 OZLEC ELECTRICAL SERVICESTHU 30 MAR PENNANTS R6 ============================================================ 1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well. 3. He who laughs last, thinks slowest. 4. A day without sunshine is like, well, night. 5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. 6. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't. 7. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool. 8. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong. 9. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end, someone from California would be stupid enough to try to pass them. 10. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it. 11. The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by those who got there first. 12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer. 13. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries. 14 . God gave you toes as a device for finding furniture in the dark. 15. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of twelve people, who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

WINNER OF MAJOR SINGLES = JAN MARTIN RUNNER UP MARILYN BRENNER

MEN’S AND MIXED BOWLS PROGRAMME FOR MARCH 2017 WED 2 MAR M Sponsored Day SAVILLS Cordeau MarshallSAT 5 MAR M Sponsored Day SOUTHERN CROSS CARESUN 6 MAR All 1st Sun SAVILLS Cordeau Marshall H/cap Pairs SAVILLS Cordeau MarshallSUN 6 MAR M Club Pairs Championships P4 SAVILLS Cordeau MarshallSUN 6 MAR All Mixed Triples Championships MT 1 SAVILLS Cordeau MarshallSUN 6 MAR All 2nd Sunday Jackpot Mixed Pairs SAVILLS Cordeau MarshallWED 9 MAR M Sponsored Day TURRAMURRA COMMUNITY BANKSAT 12 MAR M State Pennants Grade 2 to 7 Rd 1 Zone 9SUN 13 MAR M SENIOR'S WEEKSUN 13 MAR M Major Singles Championships C1SUN 13 MAR All 2nd Sunday Mixed Pairs SAVILLS Cordeau MarshallMON 14 MAR M Veterans / Super Veterans Day Zone 9 Venue HarbordWED 16 MAR M Sponsored Day GUARDIAN FUNERALSSAT 19 MAR M State Pennants Grade 2 to 7 Rd 2 Zone 9SUN 20 MAR SENIOR'S WEEKSUN 20 MAR All 3rd Sunday MuftiSUN 20 MAR M Major Singles Championships C2SUN 20 MAR All Mixed Triples Championship MT 2WED 23 MAR M Sponsored Day PINNACLE HEARING PYMBLEFRI 25 MAR ~ GOOD FRIDAY / CLUB CLOSED

SAT 26 MAR All EASTER BOWLSTriple

S MULTIPLE SPONSORS

SUN 27 MAR All 4th Sunday OpenTriple

S MULTIPLE SPONSORSMON 28 MAR All EASTER BOWLSWED 30 MAR M Sponsored Day McCARROLL'S AUTO GROUP

LADIES BOWLS PROGRAMME FOR MARCH 2017 WED 1 MAR ST IVES TAPNERTHU 2 MAR SOCIAL BOWLS SPENNANT PRACTICESAT 4 MAR WEEKEND TRIPLESTUE 7 MAR FRIENDS DAY /60TH BIRTHDAY SPOUTHERN CROSS CARETHU 9 MAR PENNANT PRACTICESAT 11 MAR WEEKEND TRIPLESTUE 14 MAR PENNANTS/SOCIAL BOWLS R1 SAVILLS COREDEAU MARSHALLTHU 16 MAR PENNANTS R2SAT 18 MAR WEEKEND TRIPLESTUE 21 MAR PENNANT/SOCIAL/COMM MEET R3 FARINA PIZZERIATHU 23 MAR PENNANTS R4SAT 25 MAR WEEKEND TRIPLESTUE 28 MAR PENNANTS/SOCIAL BOWLS R5 OZLEC ELECTRICAL SERVICESTHU 30 MAR PENNANTS R6 ============================================================ 1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well. 3. He who laughs last, thinks slowest. 4. A day without sunshine is like, well, night. 5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. 6. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't. 7. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool. 8. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong. 9. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end, someone from California would be stupid enough to try to pass them. 10. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it. 11. The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by those who got there first. 12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer. 13. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries. 14 . God gave you toes as a device for finding furniture in the dark. 15. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of twelve people, who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

HAMO’S PARTY

They gave me bloody $5??? – the cheek!!

Tractors !

Paddy was passing by Mick’s hay shed one day when through a gap in the door he saw Mick doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old red Massey Ferguson tractor. Buttocks clenched, he performs a slow pirouette and gently slides off first the right ‘welly’, followed by the left. He then hunches his shoulders forward and in a classic striptease move, lets his braces fall down from his shoulders to dangle by his hips over his corduroy trousers. Grabbing both sides of his checked shirt, he rips it apart to reveal his tea stained vest underneath and with a final flourish he hurls his flat cap on to a pile of hay.

“What on earth are you doing Mick?” says Paddy“Jeez Paddy, ye frightened the livin daylights out of me.” says an obviously embarrassed Mick., “but me and the Missus been having some trouble lately in the bedroom department, and the therapist suggested I do something sexy to a tractor…..”(Thanks Geoff for this one from your old ANZ Banking magazines.)

HOW TO ENHANCE YOUR BOWLS PERFORMANCE PART 1: LOWER BACK STIFFNESS

Here are some simple stretches that can be done of a morning or evening to address that stiff, achy lower back (they can even be done while in bed!).

Ifyou feel your lower back stiffness is becoming a problem and starting to affect your bowls performance contact Emily on 0421 220 371 or at emily@hoffmannandcophysio.com.au to organise your complimentary lower back assessment. Offer valid for March 2017.

Happy Bowling! From Emily ========================================================================

Missing wife report

A husband went to [police station to report his missing wife:Husband: I’ve lost my wife, she went shopping yesterday and has still not come home.Sergeant: What is her height?Husband: Oh, 5 something…..Sergeant : Build?Husband : Not slim, not really fat.Sergeant. Colour of eyes?Husband; Never noticed.Sergeant: Colour of hairHusband; Changes according to season.Sergeant: What was she wearing?Husband ; Dress/suit/blue jeans—I don’t remember exactly.Sergeant : Did she go in a car?Husband ; Yes.Sergeant: What kind of car was it?

Husband; 2015 Corvette Stingray LT3 with the Z51 Performance Package, shark grey metallic paint, with the 6.2 litre V8 engine with Direct Injection generating 460 HP. 8- speed paddle-shift automatic transmission and GT bucket seats and has a very thin scratch on the front left door.

(at this point the husband started crying….)

Sergeant; Don't worry sir. We’ll find your car.

Hold stretches for 20-30seconds

Only push to wherecomfortable

Stop if pain occurs (agentle pulling feeling isfine)

SO, HOW’S YOUR DAY GOING?

Nobody Proof reeds anymore!

Did I read that sign right? TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

In a Laundromat: AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

In a London department store: BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

In an office: WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

In an office: AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD

Outside a second hand shop: WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

Spotted in a safari park:(I sure hope so) ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

Seen during a conference: FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR

Notice in a farmer's field: THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.

Message on a leaflet: IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS

On a repair shop door: WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)

Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn't you say?

Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over What a guy!

Miners Refuse to Work after Death Good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures Who would have thought!

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges You mean there's something stronger than duct TAPE

the newer developments. Good size parcels of

land without restrictions are also proving very

popular, as Ku-ring-gai’ popularity continues to

increase.

As the leading Ku-ring-gai agency, Savills

Cordeau Marshall has access to the most

extensive network of qualified buyers, both

locally and internationally, with the global reach

of 700 offices in 60 locations, including a strong

presence in China and Hong Kong. We would

be delighted to assist with any of your property

needs.

Visit our office today, and speak to one of our professionally trained and experienced agents Gordon 9498 2388 | Lindfield 9416 9393 | St Ives 9488 8588 | Turramurra 9449 8844 | Roseville 8008 8521

As we move into autumn, we have yet to see

any signs of cooling in the North Shore property

market. The RBA recently held interest rates at

the historically low level of 1.5%, and with pent

up demand still evident and stock remaining

at lower levels, we continue to see record

prices being achieved across a broad range of

property.

Our recent sales confirm there are still many

eager buyers for period homes and newer

homes alike, as well as apartments, with

particularly high interest in established

complexes that tend to have more space than

ReportProperty

March 2017