8/15/2019 Funny and Odd Names of Pennsylvanian Towns

1/3

Eerie, Pennsylvania

Hi! My current job has me dealing with Pennsylvanians from towns familiar and not so

familiar. I thought I would share some of the weirder and more wonderful names with

you. "What's in a name?" Well, if it's a Pennsylvania podunk it's often something

disquieting, if not downright disturbing. All of these are genuine Pennsylvania towns,although you need a really good map to find some of them. Here are a just a few of my

favorites. I've got many, many more!

TOWNS WITH UNUSUAL/WEIRD NAMES IN PENNSYLVANIA, U.S.A......

1. Okay, let's get the rube jokes out of the way and dispense with the story which has thetraveler seeking "Intercourse, PA" and getting lost and ending up in "Blueball, PA" and

finally getting some relief in "Bird-in-Hand, PA." Those are all TRUE towns in

Pennsylvania, but that one's old--and there's just way too many T-shirts already.

2. ANALOMINK. I don't know why this one gives me the shivers but it does. I bet ferretowners were responsible for this in some devious fashion.

3. BALLS MILLS. Rocky mountain oysters, anyone? Say it fast and it sounds like "Ball

Smells!"

4. BATH ADDITION. Sad when your state starts naming towns after home

improvements.

4. BRAINTRIM. Freddy Krueger's favorite town, no doubt.

5. BREAKNECK. The first settlers must have learned a hard lesson here. What thatlesson was, we would probably do well not to ask.

6. BROKENSTRAW. It must have been a very exciting piece of straw.

7. BULGER. Heh heh.

8. BUMPVILLE. Maybe this was founded in the roaring seventies and needs renamed.

9. CHOCONUT. The town that sounds like an unwholesome breakfast cereal.

10. CLIMAX. If we could only move this town to Lancaster County (home ofIntercourse, Blueball and Bird-in-Hand) our Pennsylvanian lives would be complete.

11. CLYDE NO. 3. Just weird. Supposedly these number ones are named after mines.Oddly enough, there is no CLYDE NO. 1 nor 2.

12. CONGO. Imagine the excitement that must have reigned when the bad, bad MichaelCrichton film came out.

8/15/2019 Funny and Odd Names of Pennsylvanian Towns

2/3

13. COON HUNTER. Is surely embracing the 21st century.

14. COPLAY. Might I suggest a honeymoon location for Chris and Gwyneth? They can

bring their own LD.

15. FALCONCREST. Something tells me Jane Wyman never slept here.

16. FITZ HENRY. There is half a good gay joke here, which I refuse to articulate.

17. FOOT OF TEN. This sounds like a Grimm's fairy tale. Maybe someone was screwing

up the rulers he was manufacturing?

18. GUM STUMP. Oh yes.

19. GRINGO. The only Pennsylvanian town populated exclusively by Mexicans who

want you to know how welcome you are here.

20. HOSENSUCK. Is it a town, or an invitation?

21. HOSPITAL. Of course you will sound silly asking the taxi to rush you to HOSPITAL

HOSPITAL. It's probably just a tent anyway.

22. JAPAN. Other towns with the names of countries in PA include SCOTLAND and

GERMANY. Imagine the poor Japanese immigrant who sought out this town for its

cultural enlightenment. Macaroni is probably considered an "ethnic food" there.

23. LABORATORY. Not sure I want to know what the locals are up to there.

24. LAKE IN THE CLOUDS. They probably have some good drugs in this town.

25. LEISURE LAND. I imagine a lot of green leisure suits in soft pastel colors and a lotof recliners facing t.v.s playing NICK AT NITE.

26. LIBRARY. Everyone wears cat-eye glasses and speaks very quietly. But is wild in the

bedroom.

27. LIVE EASY. Sure. I bet the average wage there is 5.55/hr.

28. LOG PILE. Sit and watch it settle.

29. LOLETA. They can't spell there, but they can chase the young'uns.

30. MARY D. Oh, Ms. Blige..almost. Mary D. must have been a hell of a lady, or maybe

just a lady from hell who knew how to get her way.

8/15/2019 Funny and Odd Names of Pennsylvanian Towns

3/3

31. NED. Our first Southpark tribute. Appropriately enough, it's close to the West

Virginia border.

32. GUMP. Nuff said.

33. LITTLE CHICAGO. Sure. About 100,000 times littler. And Chicago has indoorplumbing.

34. NANTY GLO. Sounds like someplace in Middle Earth to me. Pronounced "NattyGlow" by the way.

35. OF. Pennsylvania's nod to minimalism and Steinian placelessness.

36. ONO. Hear the shrieks from miles away. Of course the few businesses located there

make cute plays on the name, like the O YES Diner, etc.

37. OGLE. Oh sure, try it. You might get shot.

38. ROSEANN. Naming one's town after a sitcom isn't always a good idea. Is there aWHO'S THE BOSS in Kentucky?

39. SCALP LEVEL. Finally a town Native Americans can be proud of.

40. STALKER. Naming your town after a felony seems a little iffy to me. Is there a

DATE RAPE, PA too?

41. TANGUY. If you're highbrow, you might like this nod to the French surrealist. If

you're a surfer you might think "Dude, that's a tubular name for a town!"

42. THROOP. Make up your own story. To me, it sounds like something sexual that birds

do.

43. TWO LICK. And what's the story there??

44. VIENNESE WOODS. Okay, now that's just weird.

45. VIRGINVILLE. The POPULATION sign is updated hourly. They have to keep

subtracting as they run uncooperative females out of town.

46. VROOMAN HILL. No doubt some idiot went way too fast over that hill and his

redneck friends decided to give him the tribute of this name.