From Words in the Air, to Sentences,

to Stories…

Supporting young writers in writing descriptions

Meg RiceSCKWP Buhler

June – July 2007

Two tools improved the quality of

my first graders’ writing:

• The use of a rubric for critical thinking and the scoring of writing drafts

• The use of wireless technology in the editing and revising process

Rationale #1:

• Understanding the target is necessary for successful performance of a task; academic or non-academic.

• Rubrics make writing targets easier for young writers to understand.

Rationale #2: • First graders need multiple exposures

to new skills to apply them successfully in original writing.

– Whole class editing– Peer editing groups – Individual writing conferences

Lesson:• Writing a rough draft of a descriptive

sentence

• Class editing/revising and scoring via a projected rubric

• Supported by an InterWrite School Pad, an LCD projector and scanned or Word document drafts

Duration:• Writing project spans two weeks

• Several 15 minute sessions are

needed to use the scoring rubric,

edit and revise all student drafts

in a whole class setting.

Objectivesand

Materials:

See handout

Building background knowledge & vocabulary

• The week before you begin this project, read books about:

– Learning to swim– Swimming– Going to the Beach – Boating

Day One:• Look at your object. • What do you see?• “Describing words” tell what we see,

touch, smell, taste, and hear.• Signal: three fingers in the air when…• Write the words in your writing spiral.

Talk to shoulder partners

• Take turns:– Tell your shoulder partner about your

object. – Use the describing words you wrote.– Listen to your partner tell you their

describing words.– Help each other think of more words.

Chart paper word bank

• Chart paper word bank • Key words into a Word document• Calling cards for taking turns• Students copy to “Words I Use

When I Write” books

Students capture words

• Words I Use When I Write Books

• Dictionaries

• Library and trade books in classroom

• Read the room – word wall

Teacher models examples

• My flip flops have rainbows on the sides, three circles on the bottom, and white straps.

• My son’s super-soaker shoots a long distance, is made of yellow, orange and clear plastic, and is as long as my arm.

Teacher examples– Listen as I read this sentence aloud.

– Look for mistakes. Raise you hand if you find one.

– Look for capital letters, commas and ending punctuation marks.

– My swim fin is black and longer than my foot

– my swim fin is rubbery black and longer than my foot.

Teacher examples– Listen as I read this sentence aloud. – Look for mistakes. Raise you hand if you find one. – Look for capital letters, commas and ending punctuation marks.

– My swim fin is rubbery, shiny, black and longer than my foot.

– My rubbery, black, swim fin is much longer than my foot, so I can push hard against the water.

Students Write Rough draft

1. Look closely at your object again.2. Remember your describing words.3. Write a sentence telling how your

object looks and feels.4. Capital letters5. Commas6. “and” before last describing word

Teacher captures rough Drafts for future work

• As students finish writing they quietly read their rough draft to the teacher,

who keys and saves a Word document. Or• Rough drafts are scanned after school or by an aide.

Introduce and Use Rubric•Who can read the five categories listed here?

•Explain the rating scale 1 – 5.

•Read each descriptor 1, 3, or 5 points.

•Use InterWrite highlighter tool as rubric text is discussed.

Descriptive Sentence Rubric for ___________

Category 5 3 1

Capital letters Capital letters were used to begin the sentence and on all proper nouns-names.

A capital letter was used to begin the sentence.

A capital letter was attempted but used incorrectly.

Punctuation Ending punctuation and extra commas were correct.

Ending punctuation and two commas were correct.

Ending punctuation or a comma was correct.

Naming Part (noun)

Three or more naming parts were used correctly.

Two naming parts were used correctly.

A single naming part was used correctly.

Action Part (verb)

Two action parts or adverbs were used.

An action part was used. No action part was used.

Descriptive word choice

Five describing words used on nouns and/or verbs giving a clear image.

Three describing words were used.

One describing word was used.

Illustration matches words used

The sentence relates to every detail of the illustration.

The sentence relates to the majority of the illustration.

The sentence relates to one detail of the illustration.

Electronic Rubric Scoring

1. Click to awaken the InterWrite Pad. software into Interactive Mode.

2. Open the saved rubric document.3. Open the Word document of student

writing samples.4. Right click on tool bar and tile

horizontally.5. Adjust documents to fit.6. Use InterWrite pen to mark

documents.

STOP !

follow those directions !

Publishing student copies

• Save and print each edited screen.

• Students publish a final copy.

• Students illustrate on the same page.

Play the Match game

• Place objects inside the authors’ sharing circle.• In turn, have authors read their sentences.• When finished the author asks, “What am I

describing?”• Class members point at the object they think

matches to the description they heard.• Celebration, re-reading or clarification follows.

whAt comes next?

• Teacher – model telling a story about the object and what you have done with it in the past.

• Students – Pair-Share a story about what they have done with their object in the past.

whAt comes next?

• Teacher – models a graphic organizer for her story about the object.

• Students – complete graphic organizers for their stories.

whAt comes next?

• Teacher – models writing a rough draft of her story about the object.

• Students – complete a rough draft of their stories.

Published or stored in writing folders

• Stories are kept in student Writing Folders if publication is optional.

• If publication is required:– Teacher – scans or keys student drafts and

projects them with rubrics to be edited– or holds private editing conferences– or peer editing groups meet.– Students – edit and revise their rough drafts.

If Publishing,whAt comes next?

Students – • publish• illustrate• and share their final stories.

“One of the most powerful ways for students to grow as writers is to watch you write—to observe you plan, think, compose, revise, and edit right in front of them.” Students need to see that we “go back to our writing”. We hesitate, reformulate, rewrite, and look ahead as we write. Reflect on your own writing and model this as you “think aloud”.

~Regie Routman, Writing Essentials