USING COUNSELING SKILLS TO BECOME A MORE EFFECTIVE CORNELL REPRESENTATIVE

PENELOPE CHICK AND JAY CARTER ’71 MEN ’72

From Empathy to Engagement

Our Goal

To engage more alumni, parents and friends

To do this, we need to overcome any objections to becoming more engaged

Engagement Opportunities

Mentoring of studentsMentoring of other alumniSpeaking to alumni groups on areas of expertise/passionSpeaking in Cornell classesParticipating in panel discussions at eventsParticipating in networking events for a specific topic

(e.g. music, arts, technology)CAAANGreek life or other advisor (to student run organizations)Parents opportunities – career services, Parents Fund

Committee, Family Fellows

Some examples of objections/challenges:

Difficult experiences while at CornellConcerns or complaints about AA&D or other

aspects of the universityNegative admissions experiences with

children/relativesDisagreements amongst volunteer leaders or

with staff Finding the right engagement opportunityManaging expectationsToo busy

Basic Counseling Skills

A volunteer interaction can be a lot like a therapy session - it has a predictable rhythm with an introduction, information gathering, discussion and a conclusion.

Skill #1 - Active Listening

Listen for meaningThe listener says very little but conveys much

interestThe listener only speaks to find out if a

statement (or two or twenty) has been correctly heard and understood

How do you convey active listening?

Body language Facial expressions, body angle, proximity,

placement of arms and legs, etc.Use minimal encouragers: “yes”, “tell me

more”, “hmm”

Skill #2 – Open-Ended Questions

Used to gather lots of information – you ask it with the intent of getting a long answer.

Cannot be answered with a yes or noExamples:

What stands out about your Cornell experience?Would you tell me more about that?What inspired you to give your time/talent to

Cornell?What role does volunteerism play in your household?What do you hope to gain from this experience?What outcome are you hoping for?How does your family make philanthropic decisions?

Skill #3 – Closed Question

Also used to gather specific information and can normally be answered with either a single word or a short phrase

Examples:Would you like to be more involved as a Cornell

volunteer?Can you see yourself in this volunteer role?Has this role been fulfilling for you?Have you ever attended reunion?Is your daughter enjoying her Cornell experience?

With questioning

Remember to monitor the tone of your voice - in the same way that you monitor your body language. The person may not remember what was said, but they will remember how you made them feel!

Skill #4 - Paraphrasing

Paraphrasing is restating what the speaker said. May be used to draw attention to a particular concern or to clarify. It is important to keep the original meaning but to present it in a new form.

Examples:It sounds like you are concerned about some of the decisions

that have been made by the Office of Alumni Affairs/College.You really hope that the university will continue to sponsor

this type of event.Your experience as a class/club/college association volunteer

has been very rewarding.It’s not clear to you how the College is using their annual

fund dollars.

Skill #5 - Summarizing

Summarizing is focusing on the main points of a conversation in order to highlight them. At the same time you are giving the “gist”, you are checking to see if you are accurate. Used less often than paraphrasing.

Examples:Overall you seem very enthusiastic about your

Cornell experience.Philanthropy/Participation/Volunteerism is very important to your family.You’d like me to follow up on these three things…

Skill #6 – Note-taking

Note-taking is the practice of writing down pieces of information, often in a shorthand or messy manner.

Ask permission and be discreet; maintain active listening.

Example:Would you mind if I take some notes? I

want to make sure I get all the details correct.

Role Play

Choose one of these situations to role play with your partners (5 minute role play and then switch roles):

1. During the FHTR Awards dinner, an alumna tells you she is unhappy with the service she is receiving as a class/club/college/association volunteer

2. An alumna calls you to complain that her co-president is being uncooperative in planning an upcoming event

3. A volunteer considering joining a college advisory board questions the role of its board members.

4. You call an alumnus to ask if he would be able to speak at an upcoming event. You think from his tone of voice that something is wrong.

5. You call an alumnus to discuss a possible reunion gift and you discover he is still upset about a past negative admissions decision.

6. A volunteer tells you she is no longer interested in serving because there is no substance to her particular volunteer role.

P E N E L O P E C H I C KD I R E C T O R O F PA R E N T S P R O G R A M S

C O R N E L L U N I V E R S I T Y6 0 7 - 2 5 4 - 6 3 3 4

P C H I C K @ C O R N E L L . E D U

J AY C A R T E RJ AY W C 8 8 @ A O L . C O M

Thank you!