Freud - A Young Girl's Diary

8/12/2019 Freud - A Young Girl's Diary

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A Young Girl's Diary

Prefaced with a Letter by ig!und "reud

Dece!ber& /003 4Etext 51678

******The Project Gutenberg Etext of A Young Girl's Diary***********This file should be na!ed ygdsf/9)txt or ygdsf/9):i$******

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how friendshi$s are for!ed and broen) eare shown the dawn of lo%e& feeling out towards itsfirst objects) Abo%e all& we are shown how the !ysteryof the sexual life first $resses itself %aguely onthe attention& and then taes entire $ossession of thegrowing intelligence& so that the child suffers underthe load of secret nowledge but gradually beco!esenabled to shoulder the burden) ;f all these thingswe ha%e a descri$tion at once so char!ing& so serious&and so artless& that it cannot fail to be of su$re!einterest to educationists and $sychologists)

N2t is certainly incu!bent on you to $ublish thediary) All students of !y own writings will be gratefulto you)N

2n $re$aring these $ages for the $ress& the editorhas toned down nothing& has added nothing& and hassu$$ressed nothing) The only alterations she has!ade ha%e been such as were essential to conceal theidentity of the writer and of other $ersons !entionedin the docu!ent) #onseMuently& surna!es& #hristianna!es& and na!es of $laces& ha%e been changed)These !odifications ha%e enabled the original authorof the diary to allow !e to $lace it at the free dis$osalof serious readers)


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diary too& but she gets furious if 2 loo at it) 2 call.elene N.ella&N and she calls !e N,itaSN .elene andGrete are so %ulgar) Dora has taen to calling herselfNThea&N but 2 go on calling her NDora)N he saysthat little children she !eans !e and .ellaH oughtnot to ee$ a diary) he says they will write such alot of nonsense)


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.ungary to her uncle and aunt with her !other andLi::i) .er father is at !anoeu%res)

Ruly /0th) 2t's awfully hard to write e%ery dayin the holidays) E%erything is so new and one hasno ti!e to write) e are li%ing in a big house inthe forest) Dora bagged the front %eranda straightoff for her own writing) At the bac of the housethere are such swar!s of horrid little fliesS e%erythingis blac with flies) 2 do hate flies and suchthings) 2'! not going to $ut u$ with being dri%enout of the front %eranda) 2 won't ha%e it) -esides&"ather saidF NDon't Muarrel& children(N V#hildrenVto VherV too( (H .e's Muite right) he $uts on suchairs because she'll be fourteen in ;ctober) NThe%erandas are co!!on $ro$erty&N said "ather)

"ather's always so just) .e ne%er lets Dora lordit o%er !e& but >other often !aes a fa%ourite ofDora) 2'! writing to .ella to@day) he's not writtento !e yet)

Ruly 7/st) .ella has written to !e& J $ages& andsuch a jolly letter) 2 don't now what 2 should dowithout her( Perha$s she will co!e here in Augustor $erha$s 2 shall go to stay with her) 2 thin 2would rather go to stay with her) 2 lie $aying long%isits) "ather saidF Ne'll see&N and that !eans

he'll let !e go) hen "ather and >other say e'llsee it really !eans YesS but they won't say NyesNso that if it does not co!e off one can't say that theyha%en't e$t their word) "ather really lets !e doanything 2 lie& but not >other) till& if 2 $ractice!y $iano regularly $erha$s she'll let !e go) 2 !ustgo for a wal)

Ruly 77nd) .ella wrote that 2 $ositi%ely !ustwrite e%ery day& for one !ust ee$ a $ro!ise and weswore to write e%ery day) 2) ) ) )

Ruly 7Brd) 2t's awful) ;ne has no ti!e) Yesterdaywhen 2 wanted to write the roo! had to be cleanedand D) was in the arbour) -efore that 2 had notwritten a VsingleV word and in the front %eranda all!y $ages blew away) e write on loose $ages) .ellathins it's better because then one does not ha%e totear anything out) -ut we ha%e $ro!ised one anotherto throw nothing away and not to tear anything u$)hy should weQ ;ne can tell a friend e%erything)A $retty friend if one couldn't) Yesterday when 2

wanted to go into the arbour Dora glared at !esa%agely& saying hat do you wantQ As if the


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arbour belonged to her& just as she wanted to bagthe front %eranda all for herself) he's too sicening)

Yesterday afternoon we were on the ?olber@?ogel)2t was lo%ely) "ather was awfully jolly and we

$elted one another with $ine@cones) 2t was jolly)2 threw one at Dora and it hit her on her $added bust)he let out such a yell and 2 said out loud You couldn'tfeel it VthereV) As she went by she said Pig( 2t doesn't!atter& for 2 now she understood !e and that what2 said was true) 2 should lie to now what VsheV writesabout e%ery day to Eria and what she writesin her diary) >other was out of sorts and stayed atho!e)

Ruly 7Jth) To@day is unday) 2 do lo%e undays)

"ather saysF You children ha%e undays e%ery day)That's Muite true in the holidays& but not at otherti!es) The $easants and their wi%es and childrenare all %ery gay& wearing Tyrolese dresses& just liethose 2 ha%e seen in the theatre) e are wearingour white dresses to@day& and 2 ha%e !ade a greatcherrystain u$on !ine& not on $ur$ose& but because2 sat down u$on so!e fallen cherries) o this afternoonwhen we go out waling 2 !ust wear !y $indress) All the better& for 2 don't care to be dressedexactly the sa!e as Dora) 2 don't see why e%eryone

should now that we are sisters) Let $eo$le thin weare cousins) he does not lie it eitherS 2 wish 2new why)

;swald is co!ing in a wee& and 2 a! awfully$leased) .e is older than Dora& but 2 can always geton with hi!) .ella writes that she finds it dull without!eS so do 2)

Ruly 76th) 2 wrote to "raulein Prucl to@day)he is staying at Achensee) 2 should lie to see her)

E%ery afternoon we bathe and then go for a wal)-ut to@day it has been raining all day) uch a bore)2 forgot to bring !y $aint@box and 2'! not allowedto read all day) >other says& if you gobble all your

boos u$ now you'll ha%e nothing left to read) That'sMuite true& but 2 can't e%en go and swing)

Afternoon) 2 !ust write so!e !ore) 2'%e had afrightful row with Dora) he says 2'%e been fiddlingwith her things) 2t's all because she's so untidy)As if VherV things could interest !e) Yesterday she

left her letter to Eria lying about on the table& andall 2 read wasF .e's as handso!e as a Gree god)


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2 don't now who NheN was for she ca!e in at that!o!ent) 2t's $robably ?rail ,udi& with who! sheis e%erlastingly $laying tennis and carries on lieanything) As for handso!e@@well& there's no accountingfor tastes)

Ruly 73th) 2t's a good thing 2 brought !y dolls'$ort!anteau) >other saidF You'll be glad to ha%eit on rainy days) ;f course 2'! !uch too old to $laywith dolls& but e%en though 2'! // 2 can !ae dolls'clothes still) ;ne learns so!ething while one is doingit& and when 2'%e finished so!ething 2 do enjoy it so)>other cut !e out so!e things and 2 was tacingthe! together) Then Dora ca!e into the roo! andsaid .ullo& the child is sewing things for her dolls)hat chee& as if she had ne%er $layed with dolls)

-esides& 2 don't really $lay with dolls any longer)hen she sat down beside !e 2 sewed so %igorouslythat 2 !ade a great scratch on her hand& and saidF;h& 2'! so sorry& but you ca!e too close) 2 ho$eshe'll now why 2 really did it) ;f course she'llgo and snea to >other) Let her) hat right hasshe to call !e child) he's got a fine red scratch anyhow&and on her right hand where e%eryone can see)

Ruly 71th) There's such a lot of fruit here) 2eat ras$berries and gooseberries all day and >other

says that is why 2 ha%e no a$$etite for dinner) -utDr) ?lein always says "ruit is so wholeso!e) -utwhy should it be unwholeso!e all at onceQ .ellaalways says that when one lies anything awfully!uch one is always scolded about it until one gets

$erfectly sic of it) .ella often gets in such a te!$erwith her !other& and then her !other saysF e!ae such sacrifices for our children and they rewardus with ingratitude) 2 should lie to now whatsacrifices they !ae) 2 thin it's the children who!ae the sacrifices) hen 2 want to eat gooseberries

and a! not allowed to& the sacrifice is V!ineV notV>other'sV) 2'%e written all this to .ella) "rauleinPrucl has written to !e) The address on her letterto !e was s$lendid& N"raulein Grete Lainer&Ly:ealschulerin)N ;f course Dora had to now better thananyone else& and said that in the higher classes fro!the fourth u$wards because she is in the fourthHthey write NLy:eistin)N he saidF NAnyhow& in theholidays& before a girl has attended the first classshe's not a Ly:ealschulerin at all)N Then "atherchi$$ed in& saying that VweV V2V didn't begin itH really

!ust sto$ this eternal wranglingS he really couldnot stand it) .e's Muite right& but what he said


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won't do any good& for Dora will go on just the sa!e)"raulein Prucl wrote that she was VdelightedV that 2had written) As soon as 2 ha%e ti!e she wants !eto write to her again) Great cott& 2'%e always ti!efor VherV) 2 shall write to her again this e%ening aftersu$$er& so as not to ee$ her waiting)

Ruly 70th) 2 si!$ly could not write yesterday)The arths ha%e arri%ed& and 2 had to s$end thewhole day with Erna and Liesel& although it rainedall day) e had a ri$$ing ti!e) They now a lotof round ga!es and we $layed for sweets) 2 wonJ1& and 2 ga%e fi%e of the! to Dora) ,obert is already!ore than a head taller than we are& 2 !ean thanLiesel and !eS 2 thin he is fifteen) .e says "rauleinGrete and carried !y cloa which >other sent !e because

of the rain and he saw !e ho!e after su$$er)

To@!orrow is !y birthday and e%eryone has beenin%ited and >other has !ade strawberry crea! andwaffles) .ow s$iffing)

Ruly B9th) To@day is !y birthday) "ather ga%e!e a s$lendid $arasol with a flowered border and

$ainting !aterials and >other ga%e !e a huge $ostcardalbu! for 99 cards and stories for school girls&and Dora ga%e !e a beautiful box of note$a$er and

>other had !ade a chocolate@crea! cae for dinnerto@day as well as the strawberry crea!) The firstthing in the !orning the arths sent !e three birthdaycards) And ,obert had written on hisF ithdee$est Vres$ect your faithful ,V) 2t is glorious to ha%ea birthday& e%eryone is so ind& e%en Dora) ;swaldsent !e a wooden $a$er@nife& the handle is a dragonand the blade shoots out of its !outh instead of fla!eSor $erha$s the blade is its tongue& one can't be Muitesure) 2t has not rained yet on !y birthday) "athersays 2 was born under a lucy star) That suits !e

all right& ti$ to$)

Ruly B/st) Yesterday was hea%enly) e laughedtill our sides ached o%er #onseMuences) 2 was always

being cou$led with ,obert and oh the things we didtogether& not really of course but only in writingFissed& hugged& lost in the forest& bathed togetherS

but 2 say& 2 wouldn't do Vthat(V Muarrelled) Thatwon't ha$$en& it's Muite i!$ossible( Then we dran!y health clining glasses fi%e ti!es and ,obertwanted to drin it in wine but Dora said that would

ne%er do( The real trouble was this) he alwaysgets furious if she has to $lay second fiddle to !e


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and yesterday 2 was certainly first fiddle)

other says she is

Vane!icVS that sounds frightfully interesting& but 2

don't Muite now what it !eans) Dora is alwayssaying that she is ane!ic& but of course that is nottrue) And "ather always says NDon't tal such stuff&you're as fit as a fiddle)N That $uts her in such awax) Last year Li::i was really ane!ic& so the doctorsaid& she was always ha%ing $al$itation and had totae iron and drin -urgundy) 2 thin that's whereDora got the idea)

August /st) .ella is rather cross with !e because2 wrote and told her that 2 had s$ent the whole day

with the 's) till& she is really !y only friend or2 should not ha%e written and told her) E%ery yearin the country she has another friend too& but thatdoesn't $ut !e out) 2 can't understand why shedoesn't lie ,obertS she doesn't now anything abouthi! exce$t what 2 ha%e written and certainly thatwas nothing but good) ;f course she does now hi!for he is a cousin of the ernigs and she !et hi! oncethere) -ut one does not get to now a $erson fro!seeing the! once) Anyhow she does not now hi!the way 2 do) Yesterday 2 was with the arths

all day) e $layed Place for the ?ing and ,obertcaught !e and 2 had to gi%e hi! a iss) And Ernasaid& that doesn't count& for 2 had let !yself be caught)-ut ,obert got sa%age and saidF Erna is a $erfectnuisance& she s$oils e%eryone's $leasure) .e's Muiteright& but there's so!e one else just as bad) -ut 2do ho$e Erna has not told Dora about the iss) 2fshe has e%eryone will now and 2 shouldn't lie that)2 lay in wait for Erna with the sweets which AuntDora sent us) ,obert and Liesel and 2 ate the rest)They were so good and nearly all large ones) At

first ,obert wanted to tae Muite a little one& but2 said he !ust only ha%e a big one) After that he


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always $iced out the big ones) hen 2 ca!e ho!ein the e%ening with the e!$ty box "ather laughedand saidF There's nothing !ean about our Gretel)-esides& >other still has a great box fullS 2 ha%e noidea whether Dora still has a lot& but 2 ex$ect so)

August 7nd) ;swald arri%ed this afternoon at6) .e's a great swell nowS he's begun to grow a!oustache) 2n the e%ening "ather too hi! to thehotel to introduce hi! to so!e friends) .e said itwould be an awful bore& but he will certainly !aea good i!$ression es$ecially in his new tourist getu$and leather breeches) Grand!a!a and Grand$a$asent lo%e to all) 2'%e ne%er seen the!) They ha%esent a lot of caes and sweets and ;swald gru!bledno end because he had to bring the!) ;swald is

always s!oing cigarettes and "ather said to hi!F#o!e along old cha$& we'll go to the inn and ha%e adrin on the strength of your good re$ort) 2t see!sto !e rather funnyS no one wants to drin anythingwhen Dora and 2 ha%e a good re$ort& at !ost theygi%e us a $resent) ;swald has only Twos and Threesand %ery few ;nes and in Gree nothing but atis@factory& but 2 ha%e nothing but ;nes) .e said so!ethingto "ather in Latin and "ather laughed heartilyand said so!ething 2 could not understand) 2 don'tthin it was Latin& but it !ay ha%e been >agyar or

English) "ather nows nearly all languages& e%en#:ech& but than goodness he doesn't tal the! unlesshe wants to tease us) Lie that ti!e at the stationwhen Dora and 2 were so asha!ed) #:ech is horrid&>other says so too) hen ,obert $retends to s$ea#:ech it's screa!ingly funny)

August Brd) 2 got a chill bathing the other dayso now 2 a! not allowed to bathe for a few days),obert ee$s !e co!$any) e are Muite alone andhe tells !e all sorts of tales) .e swings !e so high

that 2 $ositi%ely yell) To@day he !ade !e reallyangry& for he saidF ;swald is a regular noodle) 2said& that's not true& boys can ne%er stand one another)-esides& it is not true that he lis$s) Anyhow 2lie ;swald !uch better than Dora who always saysNthe childrenN when she is taling of !e and of .ellaand e%en of ,obert) Then he saidF Dora is just as

big a goose as Erna) .e's Muite right there) ,obertsays he is ne%er going to s!oe& that it is so %ulgar&that real gentle!en ne%er s!oe) -ut what about"ather& 2 should lie to nowQ .e says& too& that he

will ne%er grow a beard but will sha%e e%ery day andhis wife will ha%e to $ut e%erything straight to hi!)


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-ut a beard suits "ather and 2 can't i!agine hi!without a beard) 2 now 2 won't !arry a !an withouta beard)

August 6th) e go to the tennis ground e%eryday) hen we set off yesterday& ,obert and 2 andLiesel and Erna and ,ene& Dora called after usFThe bridal $air in s$ee) he had $iced u$ the

$hrase fro! ;swald) 2 thin it !eans in a hundredyears) VheV can wait a hundred years if she lies& weshan't) >other scolded her lie anything and saidshe !ustn't say such stu$id things) A good job tooSin s$ee& in s$ee) other to as"ather to let !e) he said it would do no good for"ather was %ery angry and 2 !ustn't s$end wholedays with the arths any !ore) hole days( 2should lie to now when 2 was a whole day there)hen 2 went there naturally 2 had to stay to dinner

at least) hat ha%e 2 got to do with Dora's lo%eaffairsQ 2t's really too absurd) -ut grown@u$s are


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always lie that) hen one $erson has done anythingthe others ha%e to $ay for it too)

August 0th) Than goodness& 2 can $lay tennisonce !oreS 2 begged and begged until "ather let !ego) Dora declares that nothing will induce her to as(That's the old story of the fox and the gra$es) hehas been $laying the in%alid lately& won't bathe& andstays at ho!e when she can instead of going forwals) 2 should lie to now what's the !atter withher) hat 2 can't !ae out is why "ather lets herdo it) As for >other& she always s$oils DoraS Dorais >other's fa%ourite& es$ecially when ;swald is noton hand) 2 can understand her !aing a fa%ouriteof ;swald& but not of Dora) "ather always saysthat $arents ha%e no fa%ourites& but treat all their

children alie) That's true enough as far as "atheris concerned& although Dora declares that "ather!aes a fa%ourite of !eS but that's only her fancy)At #hrist!as and other ti!es we always get the sa!esort of $resents& and that's the real test) ,osa Planalways gets at least three ti!es as !uch as the restof the fa!ily& that's what it is to be a fa%ourite)

August /7th) 2 can't write e%ery day for 2 s$end!ost of !y ti!e with the arths) ;swald can'tstand ,obert& he says he is a cad and a greenhorn)

hat %ulgar $hrases) "or three days 2 ha%en'ts$oen to ;swald exce$t when 2 really had to) hen2 told Erna and Liesel about it& they said that brotherswere always rude to their sisters) 2 said& 2 shouldlie to now why) -esides& ,obert is generally %erynice to his sisters) They said& Yes before you& becausehe's on his best beha%iour with you) Yesterday welaughed lie anything when he told us what fun the

boys !ae of their !asters) That story about thecigarette ends was screa!ingly funny) They ha%e asociety called T) Au) >)& that is in Latin -e ilent

or Die in initial letters)


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heart with the na!e of a girl) ,obert says that ifhe had nown !e sooner he would ha%e chosenNGretchen)N 2 ased hi! what na!e he had tattooedon hi!& but he said he was not allowed to tell) 2shall tell ;swald to loo when they are bathing andto tell !e) 2n this society they abuse the !astersfrightfully and the one who thins of the best tricsto $lay on the! is elected to the ,ohonS to be a,ohon is a great distinction and the others !ust alwayscarry out his orders) .e said there was a lot!ore which he couldn't tell !e because it's tootre!endous) Then 2 had to swear that 2 would ne%ertell anyone about the society and he wanted !e to taethe oath u$on !y nees& but 2 wouldn't do that andhe nearly forced !e to !y nees) 2n the end 2 hadto gi%e hi! !y hand on it and a iss) 2 didn't !ind

gi%ing hi! that& for a iss is nothing& but nothingwould induce !e to neel down) till& 2 was in anawful fright& for we were Muite alone in the gardenand he too !e by the throat and tried to force !eto !y nees) All that about the VsocietyV he told !ewhen we were Muite alone for he saidF 2 can't ha%eyour na!e tattooed on !e because it's against ourlaws to ha%e two na!es but now that you ha%e sworn2 can let you now what 2 really a! and thin insecret)

2 couldn't slee$ all night for 2 e$t on drea!ingof the society& wondering whether there are suchsocieties in the high school and whether Dora is ina society and has a na!e tattooed on her) -ut itwould be horrible to ha%e to stri$ naed before allone's schoolfellows) Perha$s in the societies of thehigh@school girls that $art is left out) -ut 2 shouldn'tlie to say for sure whether 2'd ha%e ,obert's na!etattooed on !e)

August /6th) Yesterday ,obert told !e that there

are so!e schoolboy societies where they do %ery i!$ro$erthings& but that ne%er ha$$ened in their society)-ut he didn't say what) 2 said& the stri$$ing naedsee!s to !e awfulS but he said& ;h& that's nothing&that !ust ha$$en if we're to trust one another& it'sall right as long as there's nothing i!$ro$er) 2 wish2 new what) 2 wish 2 new whether ;swald nowsabout it& and whether he is in such a society or ina $ro$er one and whether "ather was in one) 2f 2could only find out) -ut 2 can't as& for if 2 did2 should betray ,obert) hen he sees !e he always

$resses !y left wrist without letting anyone see) .esaid that is the warning to !e to be silent) -ut he


18/199

needn't do that really& for 2 ne%er would betray hi!whate%er ha$$ened) .e saidF The $ain is to bindyou to !e) hen he says that his eyes grow dar&Muite blac& although his eyes are really grey and theyget %ery large) Es$ecially in the e%ening when wesay goodbye& it frightens !e) 2'! always drea!ingof hi!)

August /th) Yesterday e%ening we had illu!inationsin honour of the e!$eror's birthday) e didn'tget ho!e until half $ast twel%e) At first we wentto a concert in the $ar and to the illu!inations)They fired salutes fro! the hills and there were beaconsflaring on the hill@to$sS it was rather cree$y althoughit was wonderful) >y teeth chattered once ortwice& 2 don't now whether 2 was afraid so!ething

would ha$$en or why it was) Then ,) ca!e andtaled such a lot) .e is set on going into the ar!y)"or that he needn't learn so !uch& and what he's learningnow is of no use to hi!) .e says that doesn't!atter& that nowledge will gi%e hi! a great $ull) 2don't thin he loos stu$id& though ;swald says so to!ae !e angry) All at once we found oursel%es Muiteaway fro! the others and so we sat on a bench to waitfor the!) Then 2 ased ,) once !ore about the othersocieties& the ones in which they do such i!$ro$erthings) -ut he wouldn't tell !e for he said he would

not rob !e of !y innocence) 2 thought that %erystu$id& and 2 said that $erha$s he didn't now hi!selfand it was all $ut on) All that ha$$ened& he said&was that anyone who joined the society was ticleduntil he couldn't stand it any longer) And once oneof the! got t) +itus's dance& that is frightfulcon%ulsions and they were afraid that e%erything wouldco!e out) And since then in their society no !oreticling had been allowed) hall 2 ticle you a littleQ2 don't understand you& 2 said& and anyhow youdaren't)

.e ga%e a great laugh and suddenly he sei:ed !eand ticled !e under the ar!) 2t !ade !e want tolaugh frightfully& but 2 stifled it for there were stilllots of $eo$le going by) o he ga%e that u$ andticled !y hand) 2 lied it at first& but then 2 gotangry and dragged !y hand away) Rust then 2ns$eewent by with two other girls and directly they had

$assed us we followed close behind as if we had beenwaling lie that all the ti!e) 2t sa%ed !e a wiggingfro! >other& for she always wants us all to ee$ together)

As we went along ,) saidF Loo out& Gretel&2'! going to ticle you so!e day until you screa!)@@


19/199

.ow absurd& 2 won't ha%e it& it taes two to do that)

-y the way& in the raffle 2 won a %ase with 7turtledo%es and a bag of sweets and ,) won a nife& forand s$oon) That annoyed hi! frightfully) 2ns$eewon a fountain $en& just what 2 want& and a !irrorwhich !aes one loo a $erfect fright) A good jobtoo& for she fancies herself such a lot)

August 70th) ; dear& such an awful thing hasha$$ened) 2 ha%e lost $ages B9 to BJ fro! !y diary)2 !ust ha%e left the! in the garden& or else on theLouisenhohe) 2t's $ositi%ely fiendish) 2f anyone wasto find the!) And 2 don't now exactly what therewas on those $ages) 2 was born to ill luc) 2f 2hadn't $ro!ised .ella to write !y diary e%ery day

2 should lie to gi%e u$ the whole thing) "ancy if>other were to get hold of it& or e%en "ather) Andit's raining so fearfully to@day that 2 can't e%en gointo the garden and still less on the Louisenhohe abo%eall not alone) 2 !ust ha%e lost it the day before yesterday&for 2 didn't write anything yesterday or theday before) 2t would be dreadful if anyone were tofind it) 2 a! so !uch u$set that 2 couldn't eat anythingat dinner& although we had !y fa%ouritechocolate crea! cae) And 2'! so unha$$y for "atherwas Muite anxious and >other too and they both

ased what was the !atter with !e and 2 nearlyburst out crying before e%eryone) e had dinner inthe hotel to@day because ,esi had gone away for 7days) -ut 2 couldn't cry in the roo! before "atherand >other for that would ha%e gi%en the show away)>y only ho$e is that no one will recognise !y writing&for .ella and 2 use u$right writing for our diary&first of all so that no one !ay recognise our writingand secondly because u$right writing doesn't use u$so !uch $a$er as ordinary writing) 2 do ho$e itwill be fine to@!orrow so that 2 can hunt in the garden

%ery early) 2 ha%e been utterly in the du!$s all dayso that 2 didn't e%en get cross when 2ns$ee saidFN.a%e you been Muarrelling with your future husbandQN

August B9th) 2t's not in the garden) 2 begged>other to let us go to Louisenhutte this afternoon)>other was awfully nice and ased what 2 was soworried about& and whether anything had ha$$ened)Then 2 couldn't ee$ it in any longer and burst outcrying) >other said 2 !ust ha%e lost so!ething&and this ga%e !e an awful fright) >other thought

it was .ella's letter& the one which ca!e on Tuesday&so 2 saidF


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>other saidF ;h well& that's not such a terrible loss&and will be of no interest to anyone) ;h yes& 2 said&for there are all sorts of things written in it about,) and his society) Loo here& Gretel& said >other&2 don't lie this way you tal about ,)S 2 really don'tlie you to s$end all your ti!e with the arthsSthey're really not our sort and ,) is not a fitco!$anion for youS now that you are going to the highschool you are not a little girl any longer) Pro!ise!e that you'll not be eternally with the arths)@@Allright& >other& 2 will brea it off gradually so thatnobody will notice) he burst out laughing and issed!e on both chees and $ro!ised !e to say nothingto 2ns$ee about the diary for she needn't now e%erything)>other is such a dear) till B hours and

$erha$s the $ages are still there)

E%ening) Than goodness( 2n front of the shelter2 found 7 $ages all $ul$ed by the rain and the writingall run and one $age was in the foot$ath Muite torn)o!eone !ust ha%e trodden on it with the heel ofhis boot and 7 $ages had been rolled into a s$ill and

$artly burned) o no one had read anything) 2 a!so ha$$y) And at su$$er "ather saidF 2 say& whyare your eyes shining with delightQ .a%e you wonthe big $ri:e in the lotteryQ and 2 $ressed >other'sfoot with !ine to re!ind her not to gi%e !e away

and "ather laughed lie anything and saidF ee!sto !e there's a cons$iracy against !e in !y ownhouse) And 2 said in a great hurryF Lucily we'renot in our own house but in a hotel& and e%eryonelaughed and now than goodness it's all o%er) Li%eand learn) 2 won't let that ha$$en again)

August B/st) ,eally 2'! not so !uch with the 'sand with ,) 2 thin he's offended) This afternoon&when 2 went there to tea& he sei:ed !e by the wristand saidF Your father is right& you're a witch) NYou

need a castigation)N .ow rude of hi!) -esides& 2didn't now what castigation !eant) 2 ased "atherand he told !e and ased where 2 had $iced u$ theword) 2 said 2 had $assed 7 gentle!en and had heardone of the! use it) hat 2 really thought was thatcastigation !eant ticling) -ut it is really horrid toha%e no one to tal to) >ost of the $eo$le ha%e gonealready and we ha%e only a wee longer) About thatcastigation business) 2 don't lie fibbing to "ather&

but 2 really had to) 2 couldn't say that ,) wanted togi%e !e a castigation when 2 didn't now what it

!eant) Dora tells a lot !ore lies than 2 do and 2always lo%e catching her in a lie for her lies are so


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ob%ious) 2'! ne%er caught) 2t only ha$$ened oncewhen "rau ;berst %on tary was there) "athernoticed that ti!e& for he saidF You little rogue& youtarradiddler(

e$te!ber Brd) uch a horrid thing has ha$$ened)2 shall ne%er s$ea to ,) again) ;swald is Muiteright in calling hi! a cad) 2f 2 had really fallen outof the swing 2 !ight ha%e broen !y leg J days beforewe ha%e to start fro! ho!e) 2 can't !ae out howit all ha$$ened) 2t was frightful chee of hi! toticle !e as he did& and 2 ga%e hi! such a ic) 2thin it was on his nose or his !outh) Then heactually dared to sayF After all 2'! well $aid out&for what can one ex$ect when one ee$s co!$anywith such young !oneys& with such babies) "ine

tal fro! hi! when he's not /J hi!self yet) 2t wasall hu!bug about his being /6 and he see!s to beone of the idlest boys in the school& ne%er anything

but atisfactory in his re$orts& and he's not in thefifth yet& but only in the fourth) Anyhow& we'%esettled our accounts) #heey de%il) 2 shall ne%ertell anyone about it& it will be !y first and 2 ho$e!y last secret fro! .ella)

e$te!ber 3th) e are going ho!e to@!orrow)The last few days ha%e been awfully dull) 2 saw

,) once or twice but 2 always looed the other way)"ather ased what was wrong between !e and thearths and ,)& so that our great friendshi$ had been

broen off) ;f course 2 had to fib& for it was absolutelyVi!$ossibleV to tell the truth) 2 said that ,) foundfault with e%erything 2 did& !y writing& !y readingaloud) That's Muite true& he did that onceH and"ather saidF ell& well& you'll !ae it u$ when yousay goodbye to@!orrow) "ather !aes a great !istae)2'll ne%er s$ea a word to hi! again)

"or her birthday& although it's not co!e yet& Dorais to ha%e a na%y blue sil dustcloa) 2 don't thinthe colour suits her& and anyhow she's !uch too thinto wear a dustcloa)

e$te!ber /Jth) .ella ca!e bac the day beforeyesterday) he loos s$lendid and she says 2 dotoo) 2'! so glad that she's bac) After all 2 told herabout ,) he was %ery angry and said 2 ought toha%e gi%en hi! 7 !oreS one for the ticling andone for the NbabyN and one for the Nyoung !oney)N

2f we should ha$$en to !eet hi!& shan't we just glareat hi!)


22/199

e$te!ber /1th) 2ns$ee has really got the sildustcloa but 2 thin the tartan hood loos rathersilly) till& 2 didn't say so& but only that the cloafitted beautifully) he has tried it on at least fi%eti!es already) 2 don't now whether "ather reallywants to treat her as a grown@u$ lady or whetherhe is !aing fun of her) 2 belie%e he's only !aingfun) he doesn't really loo lie a grown@u$ lady).ow could she when she's not /J yetQ Yesterdayafternoon such a lot of girls were in%ited& and ofcourse .ella was in%ited on !y account and we hada grand tal) -ut !ost of the! bragged frightfullyabout the country where they VsaidV they had been) ewere 0 girls) -ut .ella is the only one 2 care about)

e$te!ber 7/st) chool begins to@!orrow) -y theway& we ha%e agreed to call it Li: 4Ly:eu! .ighchool8 and not chool) 2'! frightfully curious)

e$te!ber 77nd& /0@@) chool began to@day) .ellaca!e to fetch !e and we went along together) 2ns$ee

$eached on us to >other& saying we ran on in frontof her) e don't want her as go%erness) Thereare BJ of us in the class) ;ur teachers are a "rauDotor& 7 !istresses& one $rofessor& and 2 thin adrawing !istress as well) The "rau Dotor teaches

Ger!an and writing) he $ut us together on theBrd bench) Then she !ade a s$eech& then she toldus what boos to get& but we are not to buy the!till >onday) e ha%e B inter%als& one long and 7short) The long one is for ga!es& the short onesto go out) 2 usen't to go out at the ele!entary schooland now 2 don't need to) >other always says thatit's only a bad habit) >ost of the girls went out&and e%en ased to lea%e the roo! during lesson ti!e)To@day we hadn't any $ro$er lessons) They are to

begin to@!orrow& but we don't now what) Then

we ca!e ho!e)

e$te!ber 7Brd) To@day we had the !istress whoteaches geogra$hy and history& she has no degree)2ns$ee says that she had her last year& but she couldnot stand her& she's so ugly) "ather was angry andsaid to 2ns$eeF You silly goose& don't fill her headwith such stuff) how what you are worth as eldersister) ;ne can learn so!ething fro! e%ery !istressand e%ery !aster if one lies) -ut 2 can't say& we'rereally fond of "raulein +ischer and 2 don't !uch

care for geogra$hy and history) -esides 2'! notlearning for her but for !yself) "rau Dr) >allburg


23/199

is awfully nice and $retty) e shall always write"rau Dr) >) for short) hen she laughs she hastwo di!$les and a gold sto$$ing) he is new at theschool) 2 don't now if we are to ha%e singing too)2n "rench we ha%e >ada!e Arnau& she is beautifullydressed& blac lace) .ella has a lo%ely $en and

$encil caseS it's Muite soft& we !ust ha%e it soft sothat it shan't !ae a row when it falls down duringlesson ti!e) 2 thin it cost 1 crowns or /)19 crowns&2 don't now exactly) To@day lessons went on until/7& first Ger!an& then arith!etic& then religion for#atholics& and then we ca!e away) .ella waitedfor !e& for the .err Pastor did not co!e)

e$te!ber 7Jth) e thought the boo sho$s wouldbe o$en to@day but we were wrong) .ella's !other

said& that's what ha$$ens when the chics thinthe!sel%es wiser than the hens) 2n the afternoon.ella ca!e to our house and 2ns$ee had been in%ited

by the "s) 2 don't go there& for it's so dull& they$lay the $iano all day) 2 ha%e enough $iano at !ylessons) >y !usic lessons will begin when the schoolti!e@table has been fixed u$) Perha$s on ;ctober /st&then 2 !ust write to "rau -)& she told !e to write!yself) he tells all her $u$ils to do that) 2 wouldrather ha%e had .ella's !usic !istress) -ut shehas no ti!e to s$are and 2 thin she charges !ore)

At least she wouldn't always be holding !e u$N"raulein DoraN as a !odel) e are not all so!usical as "raulein Dora) 2n the e%ening 2ns$eewas reading a great fat boo until /9 or /7 o clocand she si!$ly howled o%er it) he said she hadnot& but 2 heard her and she could hardly s$ea)he says she had a cold& liar)

e$te!ber 76th) To@day they ga%e us the $rofessors'ti!e@table& but it won't wor until the $rofessorsfro! the Gy!nasiu! now exactly when they can

co!e) ;ur "rau Dotor !ight be teaching in aGy!nasiu!& but since there is only one here sheteaches in our school) To@!orrow we are going toha%e a %i%a %oce co!$ositionF ;ur .olidays) e!ay write or /9 sentences at ho!e before we co!e&

but we !ust not loo at what we ha%e written inclass) 2'%e written !ine already) -ut 2'%e not saidanything about ,obert) .e's not worth thiningabout anyhow) 2 did not e%en tell .ella e%erything)

e$te!ber 76th) e had the %i%a %oce co!$osition

and "rau Dotor said& %ery good& what is your na!eQGrete Lainer 2 said and she saidF And is that your


24/199

chu! next youQ other's eyes are all red withcrying) At dinner nobody says a word) 2f 2 couldonly find out what he's done) "ather was shoutingat hi! yesterday and both Dora and 2 heard what hesaidF You young sca!$ then there was so!ethingwe couldn't understandH and then he said& you attendto your school boos and lea%e the girls and the

!arried wo!en alone you $itiful scoundrel) And Dorasaid) Ah& now 2 understand and 2 saidF Please tell


25/199

!e& he is !y brother as well as yours) -ut she saidFNYou wouldn't understand) 2t's not suitable for suchyoung ears)N "ancy that& it's suitable for her ears&

but not !ine though she's not Muite three years olderthan 2 a!& but because she no longer wears a shortsirt she gi%es herself the airs of a grown@u$ VladyV)uch airs& and then she sneas a great s$oonful of

ja! so that her !outh is stuffed with it and she can'ts$ea) hene%er 2 see her do this& 2 !ae a $ointof s$eaing to her so that she has to answer) hedoes get in such a wax)

;ctober 0th) 2 now all about it now) ) ) That'show babies co!e) And VthatV is what ,obert really!eant) y goodness how curious 2 a! to now)

;ctober /9th) 2'! in a great fun& 2 !issed !ygy!nastic lesson yesterday) 2 was u$stairs at .ella'sand without !eaning it 2 was so late 2 did not dareto go) And .ella said 2 had better stay with herthat we would say that our su! was so difficult thatwe had not got it finished in ti!e) Lucily we reallyhad a su! to do) -ut 2 said nothing about it at

ho!e& for to@!orrow ;swald is going to G) to .err's) 2 thought that 2 new all about it but only now


26/199

has .ella really told !e e%erything) 2t's a horriblebusiness this ) ) ) 2 really can't write it) hesays that of course 2ns$ee has it already& had itwhen 2 wrote that 2ns$ee wouldn't bathe& did notwant to batheS really she had it) hate%er ha$$ensone !ust always be anxious about it) Vtrea!s of

bloodV says .ella) -ut then e%erything gets all bl ) ) )That's why in the country 2ns$ee always switchedoff the light before she was Muite undressed& so that2 couldn't see) =gh( #atch !e looing( 2t beginsat /J and goes on for 79 years or !ore) .ella saysthat -erta "rane in our class nows all about it)2n the arith!etic lesson she wrote a noteF Do younow what being un ) ) ) isQ .ella wrote bac&of course 2'%e nown it for a long ti!e) -erta waitedfor her after class when the #atholics were ha%ing

their religion lesson and they went ho!e together)2 re!e!ber Muite well that 2 was %ery angry& forthey're not chu!s) ;n Tuesday -erta ca!e withus& for .ella had sent her a note in class saying that2 new Ve%erythingV and she needn't bother about !e)2ns$ee sus$ects so!ething& she's always s$ying aboutand sneering& $erha$s she thins that she's the only

$erson who ought to now anything)

;ctober /3th) To@!orrow is "ather's and Dora'sbirthday) E%ery year it annoys !e that Dora should

ha%e her birthday on the sa!e day as "atherS hatannoys !e !ost of all is that she is so cocy aboutit& for& as "ather always says& it's a !ere chance)-esides& 2 don't thin he really lies it) E%eryonewants to ha%e their own birthday on their own day&not to share it with so!eone else) And it's alwaysnasty to be stuc u$ about a thing lie that) -esides&it's not going to be a real birthday because of therow about ;swald) "ather is still furious and hadto stay away fro! the office for 7 days because hehad to go to G) to see about ;swald going there)

;ctober /1th) 2t was !uch jollier to@day than 2had ex$ected) All the -rucners ca!e& so of coursethere was not !uch said about ;swald only that hehas s$rained his anle& 2 now Muite well now thatthat's not trueH and that he is $robably going to G)#olonel -) saidF The best thing for a boy is to sendhi! to a !ilitary acade!y& that ee$s hi! in order)2n the e%ening ;swald saidF That was awful rotwhat .ella's father said& for you can be ex$elledfro! a !ilitary acade!y just as easily as fro! the

Gy!nasiu!) That's what ha$$ened to Edgar Groller);swald ga%e hi!self away and Dora $ro!$tly saidF


27/199

Ah& so you ha%e been ex$elled& and we belie%ed youhad s$rained your anle) Then he got in an awfulwax and saidF ; you wretched fla$$ers& 2'%e goneand blabbed it all now& and he went away sla!!ingthe door& for >other wasn't there

;ctober /0th) 2f we could only find out what;swald really did) 2t !ust ha%e been so!ethingwith a girl) -ut we can't thin what "ather !eantabout a !arried wo!an) Perha$s a !arried wo!anco!$lained of hi! to the head !aster or to the schoolco!!ittee and that's how it all ca!e out) 2 feelawfully sorry for hi!& for 2 thin how 2 should ha%efelt !yself if e%erything had co!e out about ,obertand !e) ;f course 2 don't care now) -ut in thesu!!er it would ha%e been awful) ;swald hardly

says a word& exce$t that he has tals with >otherso!eti!es) .e always $retends that he wants toread& but it's absurd& for with such a lo%e troubleone can't really read) 2 ha%e not told -erta "raneall about it& but only that !y brother has had anunha$$y lo%e affair and that is why he is bac in+ienna) Then she told us that this su!!er a cousinof hers shot hi!self because of her) They said in thenews$a$ers that it was because of an actress& butreally it was because of her) he is /J already)

;ctober 79th) e s$end !ost of our ti!e nowwith -erta "rane) he says she has had a tre!endouslot of ex$erience& but she can't tell us yet becausewe are not inti!ate enough) -y and by she says)Perha$s she is afraid we shall gi%e her away) hewants to !arry when she is /3 at latest) That's in7 years) ;f course she won't ha%e finished school

by then& but she will ha%e left the third class) hehas three ad!irers& but she has not yet !ade u$ her!ind which to choose) .ella says 2 !ustn't belie%eall this& that the story about the three ad!irers at

once is certainly a cra!)

;ctober 7/st) -erta "rane says that when oneis dar under the eyes one has it and that when onegets a baby then one doesn't ha%e it any !ore untilone gets another) he told us too how one gets it&

but 2 didn't really belie%e what she said& for 2 thoughtshe did not now herself exactly) Then she got %erycross and saidF NAll right& 2 won't tell you any !ore)2f 2 don't now !yself)N -ut 2 can't belie%e whatshe said about husband and wife) he said it !ust

ha$$en e%ery night& for if not they don't ha%e ababyS if they !iss a single night they don't ha%e a


28/199

baby) That's why they ha%e their beds so closetogether) Peo$le call the! V!arriage beds(((V Andit hurts so frightfully that one can hardly bear it)-ut one has to for a husband can !ae his wife doit) 2 should lie to now how he can !ae her)-ut 2 didn't dare to as for 2 was afraid she wouldthin 2 was !aing fun of her) >en ha%e it too&

but %ery seldo!) e see a lot of -erta "rane now&she is an awfully nice girl& $erha$s >other will let!e in%ite her here next unday)

;ctober 7Brd) "ather too ;swald away to@day)>other cried such a lot) hen ;swald was lea%ing2 whis$ered to hi!F 2 now what's the !atter withyou) -ut he did not understand !e for he saidFilly duffer) Perha$s he only said that because of

"ather who was looing on with a fearful scowl)

;ctober 71th) E%erything see!s to ha%e gonewrong) Yesterday 2 got unsatisfactory in history& andin arith!etic to@day 2 couldn't get a single su! right)2'! frightfully worried about !issing that gy!nasticlesson) 2t will be all right if >other gi%es !e the!oney to@!orrow& for if she goes herself she willcertainly find out about it)

;ctober 7th) To@day the head !istress was $resent

at our "rench lesson and said awfully nice thingsabout !e) he said 2 was good enough in "renchto be in the Third and then she ased !e whether2 was as good in the other subjects) 2 didn't wantto say either Yes or ada!eArnau asedF hy& what's the !atterQ and the othergirls saidF 2n arith!etic she had =nsatisfactory butshe can really do her su!s awfully well) Then

>ada!e saidF NYou'll soon wi$e off that =nsatisfactory)N

;ctober B9th) To@day 2 had a frightful botherwith "raulein +ischer in the history lesson) Yesterdaywhen 2 got into the tra! with >other there was"raulein +) 2 looed the other way so that >othershouldn't see her and so that she should not tell>other about !e) hen she ca!e in to@day she saidFLainer& do you now the rulesQ 2 new directly whatshe !eant and said N2 did bow to you in the tra!

but you didn't see !e)N NThat's a fine thing to do&

first you do wrong and then try to excuse yourself bytelling a lie) it down(N 2 felt awful for all the


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girls looed at !e) 2n the // inter%al -erta "ranesaid to !eF Don't worry& she's got her nife into youand will always find so!ething to co!$lain of) he!ust ha%e s$oen to "rau Dotor >)& for in the Ger!anlesson the subject for %i%a %oce co!$osition wasGood >anners) And all the girls looed at !e again)he didn't say anything !ore) he's a $erfect angel&!y darling E) >)& her na!e is ElisabethS but shedoes not ee$ her na!e@day because she's a ProtestantSthat's an awful sha!e because other wasthere herself) And in !ental arith!etic to@day 2got a ;ne) "raulein teiner is awfully nice too and

she saidF hy& L) what was the !atter with youin your su!s the other day& for you're so good atarith!eticQ 2 didn't now what to do so 2 saidF;h 2 had such a headache the other day) Then -erta"rane nearly burst out laughing& it was horrid ofherS 2 don't thin she's Muite to be trustedS 2 thinshe's rather a snea) hen the lesson was o%er shesaid she had laughed because NheadacheN !eansso!ething Muite different)

other2'! !aing an e!broidered leather boo co%er&e!broidered with sil and with a $ainted designS 2can do the $ainting $art at school in "raulein .)'slesson& she's awfully nice too) -ut 2 lie "rau Dotor>) best of all) 2'! VnotV going to in%ite -erta "rane

because of the way she laughed yesterday& and besides>other doesn't lie ha%ing strange girls to the house)

ali told us that all the Rewswhen they are Muite little ha%e to go through a %erydangerous o$erationS it hurts frightfully and that'swhy they are so cruel) 2t's done so that they can ha%e!ore childrenS but only little boys& not little girls)

2t's horrid& and 2 should not lie to !arry a Rew)Then we ased >ali whether it is true that it hurts


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li%es in the PhorusgasseS but the wo!an didn't nowhow old she is) he would not tell !e at first butased why 2 wanted to now and who had sent !eto enMuire) he wouldn't loo into the boo until2 told her that it was Vonly for !yselfV that 2 wantedto now) Then she looed& for 2 new the nu!berof the cloa roo! locerF B3& a lo%ely nu!ber& 2 lieit so !uch) 2 don't really now why& but when 2hear anyone say that nu!ber it sounds to !e lie asMuirrel ju!$ing about in the wood)

other is ill e%erything at ho!e is

so unco!fortable and she always saysF hate%eryou do don't get ill& for it's such a nuisance) -ut2 don't !ind being illS indeed 2 rather lie being ill&for then e%eryone's so nice& when "ather co!es ho!ehe co!es and sits by !y bed and e%en VDoraV is rathernice and does things for !eS that is she VhasV to)-esides& when she had di$theria two years ago 2 dide%erything 2 could for her& she nearly died& herte!$erature went u$ to /91 and >other was sic withcrying) "ather ne%er cries) 2t !ust loo funny whena !an cries) hen there was all that row about

;swald he cried& 2 thin "ather had gi%en hi! abox on the ear) .e said he hadn't but 2 thin hehadS certainly he cried& though he said he didn't)After all& why shouldn't he for he's not really grownu$ yet) 2 cry !yself when 2 get frightfully annoyed)till 2 shouldn't cry for a box on the ear)

ary in the -ible) Thechrotter girl does not now anything yet and theother girls egged her on till she went and ased) The.err Professor got Muite red and saidF 2f you don'tnow yet it does not !atter) e shall co!e to thatlater& we're still in the ;ld Testa!ent) 2 was soglad that .ella does not sit next !e in the religionlesson& because she's a ProtestantS we should certainlyha%e both burst out laughing) o!e of the girlsgiggled frightfully and the .err Professor said to

LiselF You're a good girl& don't bother about theothers) -ut Lisel $ositi%ely howled) 2 would not


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ha%e ased& e%en if 2 hadn't really nown) VithchildV is a stu$id word anyhow& it doesn't !ean anythingreallyS only if one nows)

other& what are you looing roundso forQ ;f course 2 didn't let on& but saidF 2 wasonly looing round and thining that if your bed waswhere the washstand is you could see to read betterwhen you are lying in bed) That would not do becausethe wall's all wrong said >other) 2 said nothing!ore and she didn't either) 2 lie !uch betterto slee$ on a sofa than in a bed& because 2 lie tosnuggle u$ against the bac) 2'! so glad >other

didn't notice anything) ;ne has to be so frightfullycareful not to gi%e oneself away when one nowse%erything)


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they will call !e Gretl) The other day 2 said to2ns$eeF 2f you want !e to call you Thea you !ustcall !e ,itaS and anyhow 2 won't let you call !eGretl& that's what they call a little girl or a $easantgirl) he saidF 2 don't care tu$$ence what VyouV call!e) All right& then& she shall be Dora till the endof ti!e)

other is really right anda ?ra!$us is only suitable for children)

4/8 ?ra!$us,u$rechtsnecht& i)e) a little De!on& who ser%est)


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Dece!ber 7nd) To@day we went to buy ?ra!$usesfor the staff) The one for "rau Dotor >) is thefinest) hen you o$en it the first thing you see islittle boos with chiller& Goethe& and "airy Taleswritten on the bacs& and then underneath theseare the sweets) That's exactly suited for her& for the"rau Dotor teaches Ger!an and in the "ourth inGer!an they are reading these $oets) Last !onth inthe "ourth they had a chiller festi%al and "rau Dotor!ade a s$lendid s$eech and so!e of the girlsga%e recitations) -esides .ella has shown !e anawful $oe! by chiller) There you can readF ifonly 2 could catch her in the bath& she would cry for!ercy& for 2 would soon show the girl that 2 a! a!an) And then in another $laceF NTo !y !ate

in God's lieness 2 can show VthatV which is the sourceof life)N -ut you can only find that in the VlargeVeditions of chiller) 2 belie%e we'%e got so!e boosof that sort in our boocase& for when 2ns$ee wasru!!aging there the other day >other called fro!the next roo!F NDora& what are you hunting forin the boocaseQ 2 can tell you where it is)N Andshe saidF ;h& it's nothing& 2 was just looing forso!ething& and shut the door Muicly)

Dece!ber Jth) The girls are so tireso!e and ha%e

!ade such a !uddle about the ?ra!$uses for thestaff) The !oney didn't co!e out right and ?ellersaid that >arus had taen so!e but >arus saidnot taen only e$t) ;f course >arus co!$lainedto "rau Dotor and her father went to the headand co!$lained too) "rau Dotor said we now Muitewell that collections are not allowed and that we!ust not gi%e any one a ?ra!$us)


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Dece!ber 3th) "rau Dotor did not say anythingat first) Then she ga%e out the subject for the essayFNhy once 2 could not go to slee$ at night)N Thegirls were all taen abac& and then "rau Dotor saidF


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reading she didn't answer and she $retended to waeu$ when 2 switched on the light and saidF hat's the!atterQ 2 can't stand such hu!bug so 2 saidF hutu$& you now Muite well it's 0 o@cloc) That's all);n our way to school to@day we didn't $ea a wordto one another) Lucily after awhile we !et a girl

belonging to her class)

Dece!ber /0th) 2'! frightfully excited to nowwhat 2'! going to get for #hrist!as) hat 2'%ewished for isF A set of white furs& boa& !uff& and%el%et ca$ tri!!ed with the sa!e fur& ac!e sates

because !ine are always woring loose& VGer!anV sagas&not GreeS no than you& hair ribbons& o$enworstocings& and if $ossible a gold $in lie the one .ellagot for a birthday $resent) -ut "ather says that

our #hrist #hild would find that rather too ex$ensi%e)2ns$ee wants a corset) -ut 2 don't thin she'll getone because it's unhealthy) The tablecloth for "atheris finished and is being tri!!ed& but >other's booco%er is not Muite ready yet) 2'! gi%ing Dora alittle !anicure case) ;h& and 2'd nearly forgottenwhat 2 want !ore than anything else& a loc@u$ box inwhich to ee$ !y diary) Dora wants so!e o$enworstocings too and three boos) A frightful thingha$$ened to !e the other day) 2 left one of the

$ages of !y diary lying about or lost one so!ehow

or other) hen 2 ca!e ho!e 2ns$ee saidF Nyou'%elost VthisV& ha%en't youQ chool notes 2 su$$oseQN2 didn't notice what it was for a !o!ent& but then2 saw by the loo of it and saidF Yes& those are schoolnotes) .!@!@!& said 2ns$ee& not exactly that aretheyQ You can than your stars that 2'%e not shownthe! to >other) -esides $eo$le who can't s$ell yetreally ought not to ee$ diaries) 2t's not suitable forchildren) 2 was in a wax) 2n the closet 2 too asMuint to see what !istaes 2 had !ade) There wasonly VwennV with one VnV instead of double VnV and VdassV

with short Vss'sV& that's all) 2 was jolly glad that therewas nothing about VherV on the $age) he'd under@lined the VnV and the short Vss'sV with red& just as if shewas a school!istress& infernal chee( The best would

be to ha%e a boo with a loc to it& which one couldalway ee$ loced& then no one could read any of itand underline one's !istaes in red) 2 often writeso fast that it's easy to !ae a sli$ now and again)As if she ne%er !ade a !istae) The whole thing!ade !e furious) -ut 2 can't say anything about it

because of >other& at least on the way to schoolS but

no& if 2 say nothing at all then she always gets !orewaxy than e%er) 2f 2 were to say !uch about it


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>other !ight re!e!ber those 6 $ages 2 lost in thecountry and 2'd rather not than you)

Dece!ber 77nd) Aunt Dora ca!e to@day) he'sgoing to stay with us for a ti!e till >other is Muitewell again) 2 didn't re!e!ber her at all& for 2 wasonly four or fi%e when she went away fro! +ienna)You dear little blac beetle she said to !e and ga%e!e a iss) 2 didn't lie the VblacV !uch& but .ellasays that suits !e& that it's V$iMuantV) VPiMuantV iswhat the officers always say of her cousin in ?re!s&"ather says she is a beauty& and she's dar lie !e)-ut 2'd rather be fair& fair with brown eyes or betterstill with %iolet eyes) hall 2 grow u$ a beautyQ ;h2 do ho$e 2 shall(

Dece!ber 7Brd) 2 a! frightfully excited about to@!orrow) 2 wonder what 2 shall getQ


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doorste$)N As she said this she looed hard at !eand Edith -ergler& so she nows who left the ?ra!$us)2'! so tired 2 can't ee$ !y eyes o$en) .urrah&to@!orrow is #hrist!as E%e(((

Dece!ber 7Jth) #hrist!as E%e afternoon is horrid);ne does not now what to be at) 2'! not allowedto go sating so the best thing is to write) ;swaldca!e ho!e yesterday) E%eryone says he's looings$lendidS 2 thin he's awfully $ale and he snortedwhen e%eryone said he had such a fine colourS ofcourse& how can he loo well when he has such a

VheartacheV) 2 wish 2 could tell hi! that 2 understandwhat he feels& but he's too $roud to acce$t sy!$athyfro! !e) .e has wished for an ar!y re%ol%er for#hrist!as& but 2 don't thin he'll get one for boys at

the !iddle school are not allowed to ha%e any firear!s)


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own beastly conduct)N 2 didn't en%y hi!S 2 don'tthin !uch of Dora's loos !yself& but a$$arently she

$leases Vso!eoneV) 2n the bouMuet there was a $oe!and Dora got hold of it Muicly before "ather hadseen it) 2t was awfully $retty& and it was signedF;ne for who! you ha%e !ade #hrist!as beautiful(The heading isF NThe >agic eason)N 2 thinDora's s$lendid not to gi%e herself awayS e%en to !eshe declares she does not now who sent itS but ofcourse that !ay be all hu!bug) 2 thin it really co!esfro! young Perathoner& with who! she's alwayssating)

Dece!ber 7th) 2'%e had absolutely no ti!e towrite) 2 got e%erything 2 wanted) Aunt Dora ga%e

both of us an o$era glass in !other@of@$earl in a $lush

case) e are going to all the school $erfor!ances&"ather's arranged itS he has subscribed to VallV the$erfor!ances during the school year /0@@ to /0@@)2 a! so delighted for "rau Dotor >) will co!e too)2 do ho$e 2 shall sit next to her)

Dece!ber B/st) To@day 2 wanted to read throughall 2 ha%e written& but 2 could not !anage it but inthe new year 2 really !ust write e%ery day)

Ranuary /st& /0@@) 2 !ust write a few sentences

at least) "or the afternoon we had been in%ited tothe ,ydberg's the arths were there and Edle %onernhoff(( 2 was just the sa!e as usual with Lisel

but 2 would not say a word to ,) They left beforeus& and then .eddy ased !e what was wrong between!e and ,) .e had said of !eF Any one canha%e the Vblac goose for !eV) Then he said that anyone could tae !e in) 2 was so stu$id that 2 would

belie%e anything) 2 can't thin what he !eant& forhe ne%er too !e in about anything) Anyhow 2 wouldnot let Vhi!V s$oil new year's day for !e) -ut .ella

is Muite right for if the first $erson one !eets onRanuary /st is a co!!on $erson that's a bad beginning)The first thing this !orning when 2 went out 2 !etour old $ost!an who's always so gru!$y if he's e$twaiting at the door) 2 looed the other way directlyand across the street a fine young gentle!an was $assing&

but it was no good for the co!!on $ost!an hadreally been the first)

Ranuary /7th) 2 a! so angry) VeV !ayn't go satingany !ore because 2ns$ee has begun to co!$lain

again of her silly old ears and >other i!agines thatshe got her earache last year sating) 2t's all right


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to ee$ VherV at ho!eS but why shouldn't V2V goQ .owcan V2V hel$ it when VsheV gets a chill so easilyQ 2n !ostthings "ather is justice itself& but 2 really can't understandhi! this ti!e) 2t's si!$ly absurd& only it's too!iserable to call it absurd) 2'! in a $erfect fury)till& 2 don't say anything)

"ebruary /7th) 2 ha%e not written for a whole!onth& 2'%e been woring so hard) To@day we gotour re$orts) Although 2'%e been woring so frightfullyhard& again 2 only got a 7 in Diligence) "rauDotor >) !ade a s$lendid s$eech and saidF Asyou sow& so you shall rea$) -ut that's not always true)2n


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was s$lendid she said) 2 saidF ould you belie%eit& a year ago !y VsisterV had an earache& and Vfor thatreasonV they won't allow VeitherV of us to sate this year)he laughed lie anything and said so exMuisitelyF;h& what a wiced sister) he looed $erfectlyra%ishingF A red@brown coat and sirt tri!!ed withfur& sable 2 belie%e& and a huge brown bea%er hat withcre$e@de@chine ribbons& lo%ely) And her eyes and!outh) 2 belie%e she will !arry the !an who is alwaysgoing about with her) arch th) 2 shall ne%er say another word to -erta"raner she's utterly false) 2'%e such a frightful

headache because 2 cried all through the lesson) hewrote to .ella and !e in the arith!etic lessonF AV+erhaltnisV478 !eans so!ething Muite different) Rustat that !o!ent the !istress looed across and saidFTo who! were you noddingQ he saidF To Lainer)-ecause she laughed at the word N+erhaltnis)N 2t wasnot true) 2 had not thought about the word at all)2t wasn't till 2 had read the note that it occurred to.ella and !e what V+erhaltnisV !eans) After the lesson"raulein t) called us down into the teachers' roo!and told "rau Dotor >) that "rane and 2 had

laughed at the use of the word N+erhaltnis)N "rauDotor saidF hat was there to laugh atQ hy didyou not just do your su!sQ "raulein t) saidF Youought to be asha!ed of yoursel%es& young girls in thefirst class shouldn't now anything about such things)2 shall ha%e to s$ea to your !others) 2n the Ger!anlesson "rau Dotor >) told us to write an essay onthe $ro%erbF Pure the heart and true the word& clearthe brow and free the eye& these are our safeguards&or so!ething of that sortS 2 !ust get .ella to write itfor !e& for 2 was crying all through the lesson)

478 The Ger!an word +erhaltnis as used in the arith!etic lesson!eans ratio& $ro$ortion) The word is in co!!on use inGer!any for a lo%e inti!acy or liaison)@@Translators' arch /9th) To@day -erta "rane wanted to talthings out with usS but .ella and 2 told her we wouldnot s$ea to her again) e told her to re!e!ber

Vwhat sortV of things she had said to us) he denied it

all already) e shouldn't be such hu!bugs) 2t was!ean of her) ,eally we didn't now anything and


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VsheV told us all about it) .ella has told !e again andagain she wished we didn't now anything) he saysshe's always afraid of gi%ing herself away and thatshe often thins about that sort of thing when sheought to be learning her lessons) o do 2) And oneoften drea!s about such things at night when onehas been taling about the! in the afternoon) till&it's better to now all about it)

>arch 77nd) 2 so seldo! !anage to write anything&first of all our lessons tae such a lot of ti!e&and second because 2 don't care about it any !oresince what "ather said the other day) The last ti!e2 wrote was on aturday afternoon& and "ather ca!ein and saidF #o!e along children& we'll go to chonbrunn)That will do you !ore good than scribbling

diaries which you only go and lose when you'%e writtenthe!) o >other told "ather all about it in theholidays) 2 couldn't ha%e belie%ed it of >other for2 begged her to $ro!ise not to tell anyone) And shesaidF ;ne doesn't $ro!ise about a thing lie thatS

but 2 won't tell anyone) And now she !ust ha%e toldabout it& although she said she wouldn't) E%en"rane's deceitfulness was nothing to that for afterall we'%e only nown her since last autu!n& but 2could ne%er ha%e belie%ed that >other would do sucha thing) 2 told .ella when we were ha%ing tea at

the Ti%oli and she said she would not altogether trusther !other& she'd rather trust her father) -ut if thathad ha$$ened to VherV& her father would ha%e boxedher ears with the diary) 2 did not want to show anything&

but in the e%ening 2 only ga%e >other Muite alittle iss) And she said& what's the !atter& dearQ hasanything ha$$enedQ Then 2 could not ee$ it inand 2 cried lie anything and saidF You'%e betrayed!e) And >other saidF N2QN Yes& youS you told"ather about the diary though you $ro!ised !e youwouldn't) At first >other didn't re!e!ber anything

about it& but soon she re!e!bered and saidF N-ut&little one& 2 tell "ather e%erything) All you !eant wasthat Dora was not to now)N That's Muite true& it'sall right that Dora wasn't toldS but still "ather neednot ha%e been told either) And >other was awfullysweet and nice and 2 didn't go to bed till /9 o'cloc)-ut whate%er ha$$ens 2 shan't tell her anything againand 2 don't care about the old diary any !ore) .ellasaysF Don't be stu$idS 2 ought just to go on writingS

but another ti!e 2 should be careful not to loseanything& and besides 2 should not blab e%erything to

>other and "ather) he says she no longer tells her!other anything since that ti!e in the su!!er when


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her !other ga%e her a box on the ear because thatother girl had told her all about e%erything) 2t's Muitetrue& .ella is right& 2'! just a child still in the way2 run to >other and tell her e%erything) And it's notnice of "ather to tease !e about !y diaryS 2 su$$osehe ne%er e$t one hi!self)

>arch 71th) .urrah we're going to .ainfeld forEasterS 2 a! so delighted) >other has a friend therewhose husband is doctor there& so she has to li%e thereall the year round) Last year in the winter she andAda stayed three days with us because her eyes were

bad) Ada is really nearly as old as Dora& but Dorasaid& lie her cheeF N.er intellectual le%el !aesher !uch !ore suitable co!$any for you than for !e)NDora thins herself cle%erer than anyone else) They

ha%e 7 boys& but 2 don't now the! %ery well for theyare only and 0) >other's friend was in an asylu!once& for she went off her head when her 7 year old

baby died) 2 re!e!ber it Muite well) 2t !ust ha%ebeen !ore than 7 years ago when "ather and >otherwere always taling of $oor Anna who had lost herchild within B days) And 2 belie%ed she had reallylost it& and once 2 ased whether they had found ityet) 2 thought it had been lost in the forest& becausethere's such a great forest at .ainfeld) And sincethen 2 can't bear to hear $eo$le say lost when they

!ean dead& for it is so difficult to now which theyreally !ean)

;n the th of A$ril the Easter holidays will beginand we shall go on the //th& on >aundy Thursday)

A$ril 3th) 2 don't now what to do about writing!y diary) 2 don't want to tae it with !e and asfor re!e!bering e%erything and writing it down afterwards2 now Muite well 2 should ne%er do that) .ellasays 2 should only jot it down in outline& that's what

"rau Dotor >) always says& and write it out $ro$erlyafter 2 co!e bac fro! .ainfeld) That's what shedoes) They are going to the -rioni 2slands) 2'%ene%er seen the sea) .ella says there's nothing sowonderful about it) he's been there four ti!es)Anyway she does not thin so !uch of it as !ost

$eo$le do) o it can't be anything so frightfullygrand) ,ather stu$id 2 dare say)

A$ril /7th) e got here yesterday) Ada is adarling but the two boys are awfully %ulgar) Ernstl

said to AdaF 2 shall gi%e you a s!ac on the a@@@@if you don't gi%e !e !y $istol directly) Ada is as


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tall as her !other) Their s$eech is rather countrifiedE%en the doctor's) .e drins a frightful lot of beerSMuarts 2 belie%e)

A$ril /Jth) "ather ca!e to@day) .e's awfullyfond of the doctor) They issed one another) 2t did!ae !e laugh) 2n the !orning we were in the forestS

but there are no %iolets yet& only a few snowdro$s& buta tre!endous lot of hellebores Muite red)

A$ril /6th) e got u$ at J yesterday !orning)e did not go into the church for >other was afraidthat the s!ell of incense and boots would !ae Dorafeel bad) hat rot( 2t was lo%ely) This afternoonwe are going to ,a!sau& it's lo%ely there)

A$ril /3th) "ather went ho!e to@day) e goho!e to@!orrow) At hitsuntide Ada's !other isgoing to bring her to be confir!ed) They are allco!ing to stay with us) 2 got stuc in a bog on the

ban of the ,a!sau) 2t was awful) -ut the doctor$ulled !e out and then we did all laugh so when wesaw what !y shoes and stocings were lie) Lucily2 was able to catch hold of a tree stu!$ or 2 shouldha%e sun right in)

A$ril /th) .ella says it was s$lendid at the -rioni

2slands) he is frightfully sunburned) 2 don't liethat& so 2 shall Vne%erV go to the VsouthV) .ella says thatif one !arries in winter one V!ustV s$end one's honey!oonin the south) That would not suit !e& 2 should

just $ut off !y !arriage till the su!!er)

Ada is only /B not /J lie Dora& and the $arish$riest !aes a tre!endous fuss because she's notconfir!ed yet) .er !other is going to bring her to beconfir!ed soon) e are not going to be confir!ed

because "ather and >other don't want to be bothered

with it) till 2 should lie to be confir!ed& for thenone VhasV to ha%e a watch& and one can as for so!ethingelse at #hrist!as)

A$ril 7/st) ;ur lessons are so!ething frightfuljust now) The school ins$ector is co!ing soon) 2t'salways %ery disagreeable) >!e A) saysF The in@s$ection is for the staff not for the $u$ils) till& it'shorrid for the $u$ils too first of all because we get

bla!ed at the ti!e and secondly because the staff!aes such a frightful row about it afterwards) Dora

says that a bad ins$ection can !ae one's re$ort 7degrees worse) -y the way& that re!inds !e that


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2 ha%e not yet written why ;swald did not co!e ho!eat Easter) VAlthough his re$orts were not at all goodV&he was allowed to go to Aunt Al!a's at Pola& becausethis year ,ichard co!es ho!e for the holidays forthe last ti!e) After that he's going away for threeyears in the stea!shi$ N;:eanN to the East or Tureyor Persia& 2 don't Muite now where) 2f ;swald lieshe can go into the ay 0th) The school ins$ector ca!e to@day& firstof all in natural history& than goodness 2 wasn'tin for it that ti!e& and then in Ger!anS 2 was inthat& reading and in the table of contents of theandering -ells) Than goodness 2 got throughall right)

>ay /Jth) 2t's >other's birthday to@day) e'%ehad si!$ly no ti!e to wor anything for her& so wegot a wonderful electric la!$ for her bed table& theswitch is a bunch of gra$es and the stand is !adeof brass) he was so $leased with it) Yesterday"rau %) ,) was here) he's a friend of >other's andof .ella's !other) 2 should lie to ha%e !usic lessonsfro! "rau %) ,)& she gi%es lessons since her husbandwho was a !ajor died though she is Muite well off)

>ay /6th) That !ust ha%e been true about the

ins$ectionS in the inter%al to@day Professor 2gel@!e) A) saysF 2 always feelMuite ill with anxiety)

>ay 70th) At hitsuntide "rau Doctor .aslingerca!e fro! .ainfeld with Ada and the two boys forthe confir!ation) ;n hitsunday the doctor ca!etoo and in the e%ening they all went ho!e again)Ada is %ery $retty& but she loos countrified) 2'!not going to be confir!ed anyhow) e had to waitB hours& though the "riday before hitsunday wasa %ery fine day) Dora did not co!eS only >otherand 2 and Ada and her !other) The wo!en whowere selling white fa%ours all thought that 2 was one

of the candidates because 2 wore a white dress too)Ada was rather $ut out about it) ;n aturday we


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were in town in the !orning and afternoon becauseAda lied that better than the ?ahlenbergS on unday!orning we went to chonbrunn and in the afternoonthey went ho!e) The watch they ga%e to Ada was alo%ely one and Dora and 2 ga%e her a gold chain fora locet) he enjoyed herself i!!ensely& exce$t thaton unday she had a frightful headache) -ecauseshe is not used to town noises)

>ay B/st) Ada nows a good deal already& butnot e%erything) 2 told her a few things) 2n .) lastwinter a girl drowned herself because she was goingto ha%e a baby) 2t !ade a great sensation and her!other told her a little& but not e%erything) Adaonce saw a bitch ha%ing her $u$s& but she didn't tellher !other about itS she thought that her !other !ight

be %ery angry) till& she could not hel$ it& the dogbelonged to their next door neighbour and she ha$@$ened to see it in the out@house) Ada is ex$ectingVitV to begin e%ery day for she is nearly /J) 2n .) e%erygrown@u$ girl has an ad!irer) Ada says she willha%e one as soon as she is /JS she nows who it will be)

Rune Brd) Ada wrote to@day to than >other aboutthe confir!ation and she wrote to !e as well) 2t isstrange that she did not !ae friends with Dora butwith !e) 2 thin that Dora won't tal about VthoseV

things& at least only with her friends in the highschool& es$ecially with "rieda Ertl) That is why Ada!ade friends with !e& though 2 a! 7 years younger)he is really an awfully nice girl)

Rune /0th) ;ne thing after another goes !issingin our class& first it was "leischer's galoshes& then !ynew glo%es& three ti!es !oney was !issing& and today"raulein teiner's new %anity bag) There was agreat enMuiry) -ut nothing was found out) e allthin it is ch!ola) -ut no one will tell) To@day

we could none of us attend to our lessons es$eciallywhen ch) left the roo! at half $ast //)

Rune 79th) 2n our closet the school ser%ant foundso!e beads on the floor but since she did not nowanything she threw the! into the dustbin) as itreally ch)Q 2t would be a dirty tric) "rl) t) isfrightfully u$set because her betrothed ga%e her the%anity bag for a birthday $resent and his $hoto wasin it) -ut 2'! really sorry for ch)


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is one of "rl) t)'s fa%ourites and she is %ery fond ofher herself) he always carries the co$yboos ho!efor her)

Rune 77nd) ;ur closet was sto$$ed u$ and whenthe $orter ca!e to see what was the !atter he foundthe %anity bag) -ut what use is it to "rl) nowS shecan't $ossibly use it any !ore) e giggled all throughlessons whene%er we caught one another's eye and thestaff was in a frightful rage) ;nly "rau Dotor >)saidF N


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2 $ro!ise 2 will do what 2 can for her)N e bothissed her hand and !y heart beat furiously) And.ella saidF NYou are an angel)N 2 could ne%er ha%e!anaged to say a thing lie that)

Rune 7th) To@day ch) was there again& but "rauDotor >) did not say anything) .ella and 2 e$ton looing at her and .ella cleared her throat threeti!es and "rau Dotor saidF -rucner& do sto$ clearingyour throatS it will only !ae your sore throatworseF -ut it see!ed to !e her eyes twinled as shesaid it) o she hasn't forgotten) 2 wanted to s$eato ch)& but .ella saidF ait a bit& we !ust gi%e the"rau Dotor a chance) he's taen the !atter inhand) To@!orrow before 0 we'll wal u$ and downin front of her house till she co!es out)

Rune B9th) =nlucily yesterday was a holiday andto@day "rau Dotor's first lesson began at //) -utshe has already had a tal with ch) only we don'tnow when and whereS certainly it was not inthe inter%al and she did not send for ch) duringlessons)

Ruly /st) To@day we waled to school with herhe VisV such a dear) #hildren& she said& this is sucha $ainful !atter& and it is difficult to find a way out)

ch) insists that she did not do it& and whether shedid it or not these days are burning the!sel%es intoher soul and .ella asedF NPlease& "rau Dotorad%ise us what to do& s$ea to her or notQN Thenshe saidF #hildren 2 thin that after this affair shewon't co!e bac to us next yearS you will be doing agood wor if you !ae these last days bearable toher) You were ne%er inti!ate with her& but to gi%eher a friendly word or two will do you no har! and!ay hel$ her) You 7 ha%e a high standing in theclassS your exa!$le will do good) e waled with

her till we reached the school& and because we werethere we could not iss her hand but .ella said outloudF .ow sweet you are( he !ust ha%e heard it)-ut ch) was not at school) "ather says he's gladthat the ter! is nearly o%er& for 2 ha%e been Muitecra:y about this affair) till& he thins that .ella and2 should tal to ch) o does >other) -ut DorasaidF Yes that's all right but you !ust not go too far)

Ruly 6th) ch) was not at school to@day) To@!orrowwe are to get our re$orts)

Ruly 3th) e cried lie anything 2 and .ella and


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+erbenowitsch because we shan't see "rau Dotor >)any !ore for nearly B !onths) 2 only had 7 in .istoryand other to goaway with us earlier& but she would not) 2t wouldha%e been nicer if she had)

Ruly 7Jth) ;ur house is only B doors away fro!

the .s) Ada and 2 s$end the whole day together)There ha$$ens to be a schoolfellow of Dora's here&one she gets on with Muite well& ,osa Tilofsy;swald says that .ainfeld bores hi! to death andthat he shall get a friend to in%ite hi! so!ewhere)


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about her yetF NVheV is still nothing but anunri$e e!bryo)N Than goodness 2 now fro! thenatural history lessons what an e!bryo is& a littlefrogS N2 got in a frightful wax and "ather saidFDon't you worry& he's still a long way fro! being a!an or he would be !ore $olite to his sisters andtheir lady friends)N This annoyed hi! frightfully&and since then he ne%er says a word when Ada and,osa are with us) >y birthday is co!ing soon& thangoodness 2 shall be /7 then& only 7 years !ore and2 shall be /JS 2 a! so glad) .ella wrote to !e to@day for the second ti!e) 2n August she is going to.ungary to stay with her uncle& he has a great estateand she will learn to ride there)

E#;


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as she always wants& and Ada and 2 could sharea roo!) 2 would !uch rather share a roo! with herthan with Dora who is always !aing such a fuss)

August /9th) 2 do really thin( A boy can alwaysget what he wants) ;swald is really going fora fortnight to Wnai! to stay with his chu!S only;swald of course) 2 should lie to see what wouldha$$en if Dora or 2 wanted to go anywhere) A boyhas a fine ti!e) 2t's the injustice of the thing which!aes !e furious) "or we now for certain that he'shad a VbadV re$ort& e%en though he does not tell usanything about it) -ut of course that doesn't !atter)They throw e%ery 7 in our teeth and when he getsse%eral atisfactories he can go where%er he lies).is chu! tooS he only got to now >ax ,o:ny this

year and he's a chu! already) .ella and 2 ha%ebeen chu!s since we were in the second in the ele!entaryschool and Dora and "rieda Ertl since they wentto the .igh chool) e both ga%e hi! a $iece ofour !ind about friendshi$) .e laughed scornfullyand saidF That's all right& the friendshi$s of V!enV

beco!e closer as the years $ass& but the friendshi$sof you girls go u$ in s!oe as soon as the first ad!irerturns u$) hat chee) hate%er ha$$ens .ella and2 shall stic to one another till we're !arried& for wewant to be !arried on the sa!e day)


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.ungary)

August /1th) e are so frightfully busy withRa$anese lanterns and fir garlands) The $eo$le whoha%e recei%ed birthday honours are illu!inating anddecorating their houses) hile we were at wor Adatold !e a Vfew thingsV) he nows !ore than .ellaand !e& because her father is a doctor) .e tells her!other a good deal and Ada o%erhears a lot of thingsthough they generally sto$ taling when she co!esin) Ada would lie awfully to be an actress) 2 ne%erthought of such a thing though 2'%e been to thetheatre often)

August 77nd) .ella is awfully $leased with thechainS she is wearing it) he is really learning to

ride at her cousin's) 2t's a $ity he's called Lajos)-ut Ludwig is not any better) .e see!s to be awfullynice and s!art& but it's a $ity he's 77 already)

August 76th) Ada is frightfully een on the theatre)he has often been to the theatre in t) Polten andshe is in lo%e with an actor with who! all the ladiesin t) Polten are in lo%e) That is why she wantsto be an actress and so that she can li%e Vfree andunfetteredV) That is why she would lie so !uch toco!e to +ienna) 2 wish she could co!e and li%e with

us) he says she is $ining away in .) for it'sa dull hole) he says she can't stand these Vcra!$ingconditionsV) 2n t) Polten she s$ent all her $ocet!oney u$on flowers for Vhi!V) he always said thatshe had to buy such a lot of co$yboos and thingsfor school) That's where she's lucy not to be atho!e& for 2 could not easily tae in >other lie that)2t would not wor) ;ne always has too little $ocet!oney anyhow& and when one li%es at ho!e one's

$arents now just what co$yboos one has) 2 shouldlie to go away fro! ho!e for a few !onths) Ada

says it is %ery good for one& for then one learns tonow the worldS at ho!e& she says& one only grows

V!ustyV and VfustyV) hen she tals lie that she reallyloos lie an actress and she certainly has talentSher Ger!an !aster at school says so too) he canrecite long $oe!s and the girls are always asing the!aster to let her recite)

August B9th) To@day Ada recited Geibel's $oe!&The Death of Tiberius& it was s$lendidS she is a

born actress and it's a horrid sha!e she can't go on

the stageS she is to teach "rench or sewing) -ut shesays she's going on the stageS 2 ex$ect she will get


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her way so!ehow)

August B/st) ;swald's ha%ing a fine long fortnightShe's still there and can stay till e$te!ber Jth((2f it had been Dora or !e) There would ha%e beena frightfu

Documents

Freud - A Young Girl's Diary