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FOUR CHOICES WHEN HEARING A DIFFICULT MESSAGE Judgmental (Jackal) Ears Out Blame or criticize the other person "It's your fault." "You are _________." "You should ______." Voice of Anger Judgmental (Jackal) Ears In Blame or criticize yourself "It's my fault." "I am __________." "I should ______." Voice of Guilt, Shame and Depression Generative (Giraffe) Ears In Connect to your internal experience of feelings and needs "I'm feeling_______ because I need/value______." Voice of Self-Empathy Generative (Giraffe) Ears Out Connect to the feelings and needs of the other person "Are you feeling _______ because you're valuing/needing______?" Voice of Empathy Based on the work of Marshall B. Rosenberg, author of Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life © 2006 peaceworks Jim and Jori Manske, CNVC Certified Trainers 505-344-1305 [email protected] radicalcompassion.squarespace.com and cnvc.org

Four Choices When Hearing a Difficult Message - Nonviolent Communication

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Page 1: Four Choices When Hearing a Difficult Message - Nonviolent Communication

FOUR CHOICES WHEN HEARING A DIFFICULT MESSAGE

Judgmental (Jackal) Ears OutBlame or criticize the other person

"It's your fault.""You are _________.""You should ______."

Voice of Anger

Judgmental (Jackal) Ears InBlame or criticize yourself

"It's my fault.""I am __________.""I should ______."

Voice of Guilt, Shame and Depression

Generative (Giraffe) Ears InConnect to your internal experience of feelings and needs

"I'm feeling_______because I need/value______."

Voice of Self-Empathy

Generative (Giraffe) Ears OutConnect to the feelings and needs of the other person

"Are you feeling _______because you're valuing/needing______?"

Voice of Empathy

Based on the work of Marshall B. Rosenberg, author of Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life© 2006 peaceworks Jim and Jori Manske, CNVC Certified Trainers 505-344-1305 [email protected]

radicalcompassion.squarespace.com and cnvc.org