Foster Pride Summer 2014

“Each of our lives will always be a special part of the other.”Anonymous

Two years ago, Sandra and Bryant Davis completed a SAFE home study. They had applied to become a resource family and wanted to adopt. Sandra and Bry-ant were willing to accept a child from the ages of birth through age three. They were even willing to consider the placement of siblings, two boys or two girls. When they made that informed decision in March 2012, they didn’t expect to have a sibling group of two placed by May 2012. Sandra and Bryant never imagined becoming parents of a one and two year old so soon. Their household was a place of calm, quiet and daily routines. The television in the living room was the only source of noise and activity. It was observed that they now have a busy, active and bus-tling household with two ador-able and energetic little girls. Their daughters, TaKayla and TaShayla Davis shared that they are three and four years old. Sandra stated, “There’s more noise, more junk and no sleeping in on Saturdays now.” She noted that the girls get up early wanting cereal, wanting to watch cartoons and

wanting much of their attention. Sandra shared that they’re a blessing. She said that she prayed. “I asked if I should do this. I wanted one child and got two.” Initially in the home study process, Sandra and Bryant ex-pressed that they were motivated by the love that they have for children. This was a familiar statement given by many couples going through the process. “We love children.” But Sandra and Bryant’s backgrounds and life experiences, of course, were quite different than other couples explor-ing foster care and adoption. During the process, Sandra reported that she knew that she wanted to foster chil-dren at a young age. At age twelve, she befriended a little boy who was her neighbor’s foster child. She became a big sister to him. Sandra knew then that she would grow up and want children one day. After she and Bry-ant married, they cared for a neice. They raised their neice from birth to two years old.

They tried having their own and time after time, they ex-perienced one loss too many. Sandra and Bryant experi-enced two stillbirths and one miscarriage. Bryant stated that he always wanted more chil-dren. He had six older chil-dren before he and Sandra married. They both knew the importance of the sibling relationship. Sandra was the first born and was raised with two younger brothers. She lost her youngest brother in a freak work-related accident. At that time, he was twenty-two years old and Sandra was ten years older. They were very close. Sandra noted, during the home study process, that she looked af-ter her little brother and pro-vided him with necessities, guidance and advice. Bryant

The Davis Family

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grew up with three sisters and two brothers. He coparented his older children who weren’t all raised together. Sandra and Bryant both had close relation-ships with their siblings during their childhoods. In research and in many news articles, it is implied that the relationships we have with siblings are the longest relationships that we will have in our lifetimes. No one affects us more than our siblings. Our siblings are our confidants, our role models, our best friends. They teach us about social skills, freindships and resolving conflict. Ever since their “Gotcha Day”, Sandra and Bryant no-ticed how close their daughters were. Sandra said “Gotcha Day” is the day that they acknowl-edge TaKayla and TaShayla being placed in their home. The Davis family was observed in their evening routine, before preparing for bed. TaKayla and TaShayla were asking for snacks and participating in several little activities such as drawing, coloring and counting. Sandra admitted to being the stern one with their daughters. Bryant, relaxed on the sofa was humorously referred to as “soft” and the one “the baby” is close to. TaKayla, “the baby” and bub-bly three year old, was climbing over her “daddy” and cuddling. She engaged in conversations with her family and peered out the back door at her big broth-er, Jabari, cutting the grass. TaKayla referred to her sibling, TaShayla, as “my sister” when she defended her or advocated for her. “They look out for each

other” Sandra stated. “They’re crazy about each other.” The four year old, TaShayla, re-mained focused in her activity of writing. Sandra indicated that TaShayla reminds her of herself. “She’s like me and is closer to me than the baby.” Sandra shared that they’re preparing for the first time their daughters will be separated. She noted that TaShayla will be attending a four-year old pro-gram next school year. Sandra and Bryant have been talking to their daughters about next year and have separated them, short-term and occasionally, at church and during other activi-ties and events. Sandra stated that TaKayla and TaShayla both

participate in dance, gymnastics and swimming and that they are both church basket holders at their church. The Davis family appears happy and delighted with the changes that occurred in their lives through adoption. Sandra points out that she knows that there are couples like her and Bryant who are willing to adopt

and adopt siblings. Through their training and expereince, they know that DCFS attempts to place siblings together. Pre-serving the connection be-tween siblings is important. For the Davis family, maintainting the sibling relationship was in TaKayla and TaShayla’s best interests. For children obtain-ing permanency, like the Davis siblings, being with a sibling helps their sense of safety and well-being. Siblings share his-tory. It’s important to help them maintain their bond so that there’s continuity of identity and belonging.

Information regarding school separation was obtained from

Today’s Parent, (www.to-daysparent.com ), July 7, 2008 article. It mentioned that the older sibling get-ting to do things first is a reality for the younger sibling. The little one may handle the change just fine. Parents can prepare by visiting the school with both children so that the little one can see where her big sister will be. Parents should be matter-of-fact when they talk and let the younger

sibling know her turn will come soon.

Thanks to the Davis family for providing the pictures.

Article submitted by Clara E. Cardriche, Foster Parent Trainer.

Davis Continued

Mental Health First Aid

One in four Americans lives with a mental health problem each year. Up to two-thirds go without treatment.

The terms mental illness, mental health, and mental disorders are tossed around freely in today’s society, and yet many of us are not clear about their meanings or relevance to our lives. Mental health issues affect all of society in some way, shape, or form. The truth is that mental health problems are more common than heart disease, lung disease, and cancer combined.

WHAT CAN WE DO?

Knowledge and skills can help everyone in navigating an emergency and can potentially prevent a medical emergency through early intervention. Men-tal Health First Aid is a training program that aims to teach mem-bers of the public how to respond in a mental health emergency as well as how to offer support to someone who appears to be in emotional distress. Just as CPR training helps a layperson (without medical training) assist an individ-ual following a heart attack, Mental Health First Aid training helps a layperson assist someone experi-encing a mental health crisis. Endorsed by the National Council for Community Behavioral Health-care, Mental Health First Aid has been shown to save lives, expand knowledge of mental illnesses and their treatments, improve the men-tal health of the individual adminis

tering care and the one receivingit, and reduce overall stigma by improving mental health “lit-eracy.” ABOUT THE COURSE The Mental Health First Aid Pro-gram is an interactive, 8-hour training. It can be conducted as a one-day training or spaced over several days with shorter sessions. Mental Health First Aid certification is given to those participants who complete all components of the 8-hour train-ing. The course introduces participants to risk factors and warning signs of mental health problems, builds understanding of their impact, and overviews common treatments.

Specifically, participants learn:l The potential risk factors and warning signs for a range of men-tal health problems, including: de-pression, anxiety/trauma, psycho-sis, eating disorders, substance abuse disorders, and self-injury;l An understanding of the prevalence of various mental health disorders in the U.S. and the need for reducing stigma in their communities;l A 5-step action plan outlining the skills, resources and knowl-edge to assess the situation, to select and implement appropri-ate interventions, and to help the individual in crisis connect with appropriate professional care;l The appropriate profes-sional peer, social, and self-help resources available to help a person with a mental health problem.

WHO SHOULD BECOME A MENTAL HEALTH FIRST AID-ER?

Specific audiences for each training vary but include hos-pitals / health centers, state policymakers, employers and chambers of commerce, faith communities, school person-nel, law enforcement person-nel, nursing home staff, mental health support staff, young people, families, and the gen-eral public.

MENTAL HEALTH FIRST AID IN YOUR COMMUNITY

The vision of the National Coun-cil is that Mental Health First Aid will become as common as CPR and First Aid Training during the next decade. The National Council certifies com-munity providers to implement Mental Health First Aid in com-munities throughout the United States. Each Mental Health First Aid site develops indi-vidualized plans to reach their communities, but all deliver the core 8-hour program and each participating site undergoes strict credentialing to guarantee fidelity to the original, tested model, while also maintaining the flexibility necessary to reach its unique participants and de-mographics.

Centers for Youth and Families host multiple Mental Health First Aid courses for the community and for private organizations throughout the year.

Complied by:Sharon Long, M.S., Parent Co-ordinator Prevention Services/Centers for Youth & Families

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COLLABORATION COUNTS!

We All Have a Role to Play

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Arkansas Conference onChild Abuse and Neglect

Foster Pride is produced quarterly by the MidSOUTH Curriculum and DevelopmentDivision at the University of Arkansas at Little Rock. For more information please contact: Leisa Myles, MidSOUTH, 415 N. McKinley, Suite 900 Little Rock, AR 72205 (501) 859-8331