dering on hokey. The “Glades”brand of roadside attractionsfall in line, but they boasttheir own twist and bite:(specifically) alligators. Many ofthem started up in the 1950s and’60s to grab dollars from fami-lies with the sticky paper of naturalwonderment—no hoax required. Theystill appeal strongly to families, whileadults, and particularly environmental-ly conscious ones, might find them abit...less in the wonderment depart-ment than the kids.

As a part of Old Florida, nonetheless,I’m happy to see them survive. Besidegators, the attractions thrive now asthey did back then on the exotica of theNative Americans who share the landand the thrill of noisy airboat rides intothe River of Grass, impenetrable by anyother means because of the threat itssawgrass poses. Many throw in a funkymuseum; some others, live animals inpens, a gift shop, a restaurant servingfrog legs and gator tail, animal shows, acampground, a nature trail, or anycombination thereof. Look for theseroadside stops along the Trail (anAmerican flag atop a tall pole marks

A little kitsch for the kid in all of us

Florida’s RoadsideAttractions

) OUTDOORS(

by Chelle Koster Walton

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Stop, daddy, stop!” the four ofus would plead whenever wesaw signs alongside the roadadvertising two-headed calves

or water that runs uphill.Roadside attractions: They have

always fascinated me, mostly becausemy parents flatly denied our curiositywith categorically dismissive wordssuch as “ripoff” and “hoax.”

Now it’s my job to investigate thesevestiges of early tourism, and my favoriteoccupy the stretch of Tamiami Trail thatmows through Everglades country.

By definition, a classic roadsideattraction should be kitsch at best, bor-

Every form of natural oddity fromgators to pythons, can be foundalong Florida's Tamiami Trail thatmows through Everglades country.

nearly every stop). Buses bringing incruise ship passengers are anothersignpost.

Roadside attraction: Wooten’sAirboat Tours, since 1953Where the heck? In Ochopee,One and one-half mile east of Route 29.What the heck? Snakes! Panthers!Turtles! Crocodiles! Swamp BuggyRides! (See an old fish camp completewith moonshine still!) Airboat Tours!How about them ‘gators! Dozens of‘em in captivity, from babies to monster-sized. They’re laid up on the bank of thepark’s central pond like beady-eyed logs.See them in the wild on the tours.Phone: 239-695-2781 or 800-282-2781Web site: www.wootensairboats.com

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5117 Sea Bell RoadSanibel, Florida 33957

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www.Blind-Pass.comor, e-mail: info@Blind-Pass.com

Nestled charmingly out of theway, Blind Pass Condominiumgives Sanibel visitors a raremeasure of privacy and seclusion.On the shore but off the beatenpath, you share a huge pool,clubhouse and tennis courts with alimited number of other spacioustwo- and three-bedroom rentalunits. That way, you can get awayfrom everything and, virtually,everyone.

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YOU’LL

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THESE.Roadside attraction: Skunk ApeResearch HeadquartersWhere the heck? At Trail LakesCampground (look for the super-sizedstatue of a Florida panther), a few mileseast of Wooten’s.What the heck? Don’t let the namefool you—this is as hokey as it gets.David Shealy, the second-generationowner, shows a video and sells souvenirsand a field guide to the Everglades’ ver-sion of Big Foot in his “museum.” Theanimal park includes a petting zoo,emus, and pythons that have beenreleased into the environment and res-cued by his staff.

You’ll see more gators in Florida than you ever thought possible,especially at the natural wonder roadside attractions along the Trail.

How about them ‘gators! Not themain focus here, but you’ll see a few,and more are reportedly on their way.Phone: 305-695-2275Web site: www.skunkape.info

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Roadside attraction: MiccosukeeIndian VillageWhere the heck? Thirty-five mileseast of Route 29, twenty-five miles westof the Florida Turnpike.What the heck? The most authenticexhibit of native life, it includes a cul-ture museum, outdoor chickee displaysand native craftspeople, a gift shop,and, down the road, MiccosukeeRestaurant, featuring gator tail, froglegs, and Indian fry bread. It offers air-boat tours to a Miccosukee Indianhammock camp. Down the road, anelder and former chairman of the tribe,Buffalo Tiger, runs another airboat touroperation. At ninety-something, he stillpersonally greets customers when hishealth allows.How about them ‘gators!The NativeAmerican alligator-wrestling show isone highlight of a visit to the Village.Phone: 305-223-8380Web site: www.miccosukeetribe.com

FOR THE ENVIRONPHILE

If you’re screaming “get me outta here”after your first stop and alligator-wrestling show, don’t despair. Here’sthe route for those looking for a moregenuine nature experience—hold thekitsch and goofy humor.

Collier-Seminole State Park: an easyintroduction to the Everglades environ-ment and a nice campground.

Fakahatchee Strand Preserve StatePark: take a leisurely boardwalk strollor get serious on the trails off W.J. JanesMemorial Scenic Drive.

Big Cypress National Preserve H.P.Williams Roadside Park: look forgators from the boardwalk.

Big Cypress National Preserve OasisVisitor Center: gators guaranteed alongthe boardwalk out front. (Take LoopRoad for more wildlife.)

Everglades National Park’s SharkValley: ride a tram tour or rent a biketo see gators galore, river otters, andlots of bird on the fifteen-mile loop.

Everglades Safari Parktour boat (above). Tribaldesigns herald your arrival toMiccosukee Village (left).

Roadside attraction: EvergladesGator Park, since the 1950sWhere the heck? Forty-eight mileseast of Route 29, twelve miles west ofthe Florida Turnpike.What the heck?What’s an Evergladesroadside attraction without snakesand a recreated Miccosukee village?The wildlife shows here are well-done, and the forty-five-minute air-boat tour more is entertaining thaneducational. (My guide was fond ofnaming the animals he recognized,such as the two turtles he calls Soupand Stew.) Other facilities: restaurant,gift shop, RV park.How about them ‘gators! We saw acouple of gators in the canal on our air-boat tour. An alligator show includesthe typical daring stunts peppered withsome education.Phone: 305-559-2255 or 800-559-2205Web site: www.gatorpark.com

Roadside attraction:Coopertown, since 1945Where the heck? A mile down theroad from Gator Park, it is its owntown, population—eight.What the heck? The restaurant here,straight out of a movie (fact is, you’veprobably seen it in a number of movies,TV shows, and commercials), special-

Roadside attraction: EvergladesSafari ParkWhere the heck? Forty-five miles eastof Route 29, fifteen miles west of theFlorida Turnpike. Look up in the air forthe black bear and deer riding an airboat.What the heck? Jungle Trail takes youvia boardwalk through wetlands whereit feels like wilderness, except for thesounds of Trail traffic and the bullhornannouncing airboat departures. There’sa small natural history museum,wildlife shows, a restaurant, and anappropriately tacky gift shop.How about them ‘gators! The JungleTrail leads to Gator Island, filled withcrocs as well as gators.Phone: 305-226-6923Web site: www.evsafaripark.com

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izes in frog legs and swamp café ambi-ence (is that an oxymoron?). It touts itsrides as “the original airboat tour” andrated best by the Miami Herald.How about them ‘gators! Cooper-town’s alligator exhibit has ‘em in allsizes, up to fourteen feet long. Chancesare you’ll see more on the airboat tour.Phone: 305-226-6048Web site:www.coopertownairboats.com n

Chelle Koster Walton annually updatesthe Everglades chapter for Fodor’s Floridaand, despite her eco-conscience, hasn’t meta roadside attraction she hasn’t loved.

A little swamp humor in the form of a sign over the restaurant that reads“Illegally Parked Frogs Will Get Toad Away” (left). Egrets, herons, ospreys, andgators are among the natural sights on an Everglades airboat tour (above).

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