Finding Your Own Nectar

7/27/2019 Finding Your Own Nectar

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Finding Your Own Nectar

by

Alexandru Capatina


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Chapter I

The Lost Bee

Ever since I remember myself, I wondered about things. I was a very curious

child, always wanted to know stuff. I really doubted the answer I got when I

asked my mom for the first time: Where did I come from? to which shereplied: A stork brought you in from Paris. She carried you through the air thewhole night in a white bundle, and somehow, when me and your father woke up,

you were sleeping in the baby bed we had for you, still inside the bundle, it was

the best day of our lives. I knew there was more to that.Later on, as I grew up and finally discovered the truth about where I came from, I

started questioning myself about other things. I wanted to know where was God,

what was above the sky, what was the universe, did the universe end, and if the

universe ended, what was outside of it. At this point I wanted to be an astronaut.

Just a few years later I stopped wanting to be an astronaut and decide I would be

a scuba-diver. I wanted to explore the oceans. In many ways the oceans are just

like the universe, we still have much to learn about them, most of the oceans are

still unexplored. Greatness fascinated me.

When I finished my 12th

grade, I decided I didnt want to study anymore. I wasgoing to become a professional boxer. I had been boxing for four and a half

years, won four national amateur championships and one amateur world

championship. I was very confident about it. I loved training, I loved winning

and I loved fighting. The adrenaline was like nothing I experienced before.

So after I graduated, I wanted to move somewhere where I could follow my

desire and become what I wanted to be. In Portugal where I was living since I

was 8, there wasnt really any future to it, so I wanted to move out, my parentssupported me since they knew boxing made me really happy.

But it was November 2012, and I finished school at the beginning of the summer,

and I was still in Portugal.

My parents started to get upset with me pretty often because I wasnt doing

anything. I was at home, in front of the computer, playing video games.


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What was I doing there, besides waiting for the car? What was I doing with my

life? Nothing. Just like the bee, I was lost. But its clear, a bees purpose is to gointo the beautiful fields of flowers, suck their nectar, go back to their home andmake honey. Yet this one wasnt doing any of it. So I decided, I would start

looking for somewhere to go, to follow my dream of boxing. Thats what mademe happy, I felt good doing it despite the fact that I wasnt even traininganymore, because I was supposed to be busy looking for some place to go train,

and become a professional, and a champion.

For some reason when I came home, I wrote about it. It just made so much sense

to me, that I wrote about ten lines talking how I went to the shop, saw the bee,

and what crossed my mind at that moment. I didnt think of what I should writenext, or what it was going to be. I wrote because I wanted to. And after I finished

writing it, I just stayed on my chair in front of my 22inch computer screen,reading it over and over again. Just so that after I was done, I deleted it. I didntknow what I should write next, or why I should write next. Im a boxer, not awriter.

So since Las Vegas was too expensive and far away. What would be cheaper and

closer and where boxing was a big deal?

London. That was the only place that came to my mind.

When I told my parents about it, they were happy that I had finally waken upfrom this hibernation that I went into. They told me to find a place, and theywould buy me the ticket and give me some money to help me out at the

beginning, but that I would have to find a job because they couldnt support meforever like that by sending me money.

So I started looking for places, looking for gyms, sent a few e-mails, made a few

phone calls, had no answers. So my parents thought, maybe I wasnt writing thee-mails correctly, so they asked to read them. Surprisingly they said: Its well

written, so there must be another reason for why you arent getting any answers.

It was the last week of November already.

One evening, when my mom and dad came from work, at dinner time I had come

to a decision.

-Buy me a ticket to London soon as possible.

-You found a place?My mom asked with a soft voice.


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-Nop. But I need to move, going like this I dont think Ill find anything. IansweredAnd every situation that Ive been through, I found a way out of it, soIll just book a hotel or something, and go there and find a place.

-Are you sure about it?My dad asked.

-Ye. I need to go.

-Alright then, well go to the mall this weekend, and we can go by the travelagency and buy you a ticket.My father said.

After dinner I was washing the dishes, and my dad had gone to the living room to

watch TV while my mom was keeping me company.

-Are you really sure about this, honey?My mom asked with a trembling voice.

-Ye. I answered as I was finishing the remaining glasses Im just thinkingthat maybe they see where the e-mails and calls are from, so maybe thats whythey dont answer.. maybe if I was in their country they would answer. Besidesthat every time I had gotten into any situation, I always came out of it.

Remember when grandpa died last year, and you went to his funeral and I stayed

here in Portugal by myself for two weeks?

-Well..yes. I just dont want you to rush. She said with a worried look on her

face.

-But Im also a bit tired of you and dad coming home, seeing me on thecomputer, and start arguing with me about it.I protested.

-But thats because you are not doing anything, we want the best for you darling,and you finished school, its almost December already, and you werent doingnothing.She said raising her voice a bit.

-I understand.I replied.

-You will always have a place here, a bed to sleep and food to eat. But you have

to do things for yourself, we arent going to be here forever.. and now we cantake care of you but in a few years we arent going to be able to do that. You willhave to take care of us. She told me, as she was sitting down at the table andlooking down at the floor carpet. I had finished washing everything, so I moved

towards her, sat on her lap, hugged her and gave her a kiss on her head.

-I promise it wont be too long until you wont have to work anymore. I want tosee you and dad happy, not having to worry about anything. I told her with alow voice, almost as a whisper. After a few more words exchanged she went to


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join my dad and I went back to the computer, giving the news to some of my

cyber friends.

So soon as Saturday came, we went to the local mall. Bought the ticket for nextSunday, December 9

th.

The next week flew by too fast, it was Sunday morning and I was leaving

Portugal. I had a weird mixed feeling inside me, but I wanted to do this, I didntwant to wake up at 40, look at my life, having a shitty job, married to a woman I

dont love, and having to live with the fact that I didnt have the balls to go forwhat I wanted. I rather try and fail, instead of having the constant question in my

mind: What if?

After I checked in at the airport, it was time to go through security, and time to

say See you later to my mom and dad. I was just 19 years old, and like manyother young people in Portugal, I was leaving the country, with the difference

that I didnt know what to expect, I didnt know anyone in London, I didnt evenhad a place to stay for more than three days. So I turned to my mom and my dad,

hugged and kissed my mom, wanted to tell her I love you but hesitated forsome reason. Then I turned to my dad, he lifted his hand to give me a hand

shake, I grabbed it, pulled him closer and I hugged him. Hesitating once again

about saying I love you, Im sure they knew it, but I never had the courage tosay it for some reason.

And then I showed my flight ticket to the security to go in for the security check,

as I walked in, there was no turning back, but I did look back, saw my parents

hugging, and tears going down my moms cheeks, my fathers eyes wereshinning as well, as they do when you are about to cry, nevertheless they were

smiling, and I was smiling, although I had no tears on my eyes, nor they seemed

to be coming, I was crying inside, and it wasnt sadness, nor happiness. I knew I

had to move on. I couldnt live with them forever. I had to follow my dreams. Ihad to become who I was meant to be.

Soon as I finished all the security checks, I saw the gate of my flight being

announced, gate number 13. I smiled. Many peoples see 13 as a bad number, a

symbol of bad luck. I always liked 13, my names initials, are the first and thirdletter of the alphabet, so I used to say it was my lucky number, besides when I

played basketball, I always wear the jersey with that number, even before I

realized they were the initials of my name.


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So there I was, 19 years old young boy, going towards gate number 13, waiting

for the flight towards the rest of my life.


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day. Then I saw a Subway, so I decided I would have my first meal there, and my

first ever Subway meal. Truth is when you are starving, youll eat anything, andwhatever it is that you eat, it will taste good. After I finished that, I started to go

back home, although it wasnt late, it was getting dark. As I went I noticed there

was a street with some shops, so I decided to take a look at that street. And therewere shops after shops after shops. Way too many real estate agencies in one

single street that I had ever seen. Places where you could wash your clothes,

internet cafes, and so on. I didnt want to get lost, and since it was dark already Ithought it would be better to go back to the hostel. Maybe talk to my parents

again, tell them what I had seen, specially the enormous amount of real estate

agencies. After the talk was done, it was decided that I would go into those

agencies and look for a place where I could stay for more time, I didnt mind if itwas just a room, a kitchen and a bathroom, as long as I could have some privacy,

I would be happy.

Monday came, I woke up much earlier than what I was used to. I went out to that

street, found a small place where I had breakfast and then went into the first real

estate agency. The cheapest place was 700 a month, I was shocked! I thought:Well maybe thats an agency for rich people, there are many more down theroad, Im sure Ill find a room to rent for less than 100 a week. I was wrong. Ihad seen rooms for rent on the internet, but in the agencies, none of that, 650 a

month was the cheapest I found. After going into four different agencies I had

given up looking. I went back to that Subway, had lunch, and went to the hostel.

Okay. I will look on the internet, I will send some more e -mails, and maybe Iwill have more luck here. So I looked into some websites, found some placesthat seemed okay, and sent the e-mails. I spent the rest of the afternoon watching

TV Shows on my laptop. At least that made my mood go up and I was feelingbetter, and it kept me entertained while I waited for my parents to come home

from work, to tell them the news.

When they did come, I told them what I had done during the day, and how theprices were ridiculous. They encouraged me, my dad told me to go eat a pizza or

something to lift my moral up, since I didnt have dinner yet, and keep searchingthe next day.

Next morning I woke up, checked my e-mail. No answers.

Its okay. I said to myself. Its only morning. I will get an answer by tonight.So I looked for some more places, sent a few other e-mails, made a few phone

calls, but no answers, not even one. I was hungry, went to the same place as the

day before, had exactly the same thing again and went back home and watched a


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few more TV Shows. I was a particular fan of Californication. And I guess

watching a TV Show about a guy that was in a way more fucked up situation

with his life than me, it helped. Late in the afternoon, I checked my e-mail again,

still nothing. And since it was already Tuesday, it was the last day in the hostel.

So I went to the owner of the hostel who was in a room downstairs, and asked if Icould stay another day. He agreed. I gave him the money. And I had bought

myself another day in London.

When my parents came home, and I told them that I still had no place to stay, I

was feeling down. I was having second thoughts in my head that maybe it wasntmeant for me to come to London. And I told them that. They didnt seem to paytoo much attention and instead encouraged me, my father suggested I bought a

phone, and tried calling with an English phone the next day.

Wednesday came and I woke up early. Went to that street that had many shops,

and found a place where I could buy a phone. I got one for 10. Went backhome, looked a bit more on the internet, and I found a place for 75. The only

downside was that I would have to share the room with a Spanish guy. Th ats allI knew. Made the call, and I got my first answer. It was a male voice with an

accent, it wasnt an English accent. He must be foreign as well I thought. Hesaid his name was Gabi. He told me I could visit it whenever I wanted, so I went

right away. The place was in Willesden Green, I took the underground for the

first time, and it was shaking a bit. I was a bit worried, and I held tight a rail thatwas on the roof, I was nervous, but when I looked around, everyone else was

reading the newspaper, listening to music, or doing something on their phones, so

I guess it was normal. I wasnt going to crash.

When I arrived at the place, a tall guy dressed in baggy clothes, with glasses and

a cap turned the other way around, opened the door.

-Gabi?I asked.

-Yeah.

-Hi, my name is Alex.

-Nice to meet you. Come inside.

First impression of the house: cold.

-The heating is not working.Gabi told me as we went up the stairs. The placewas on the second floor of the house I talked to the owner. He said he wouldcall someone to have it fixed. We finished going up the stairs, he turned left,opened a door that was beneath a staircase that seemed to go into the loft and


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said Heres the bedroom, and thats the bed.pointing to an old small singlebed right next to the only window available in that room.

-Looks okay.I said, desperate to find a place so I didnt really care for much. Ididnt want to go back to Portugal after just four days.

-Come.He told me.The kitchen is here, you can use whatever dishes or pansyou want, just wash them after. Gabi said while turning around and opening adoor that was across the kitchen.And the bathroom is right here.

-Okay. Seventy-five a week right?

-Yeah.

-Ill take it.

-Dont you want to meet your room-mate first?He asked.

-Well thats not gonna make any difference. I really need a place to stay.

-Where you staying now?

-Oh its a place in Leyton,Im paying 24 pounds a day. I told him.So whenis the guy coming?

-In about an hour, he went shopping.

-Oh before I forget, is there any supermarket around here? Anywhere where I can

buy any groceries?

-Yeah, you know the main road?He said pointing with his hand in the directionwhere I came fromTheres a Sainsburys there. Its like 10 minutes from here.

-Hmm..not sure. I came from the Underground station, I didnt see any shop onmy way here.

-Come outside.

We went down the stairs, walked out the house. He turned into the direction that

I came from.

-Just go that way, dont turn left, from where you came. Keep going straight,theres a small bridge there, go under it, and then straight forward.He told me

I can text you when the guy comes.

-Oh okay. Thanks.

-Alright. See you later.


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-See you.

I went the way he told me to go. Until I reached a road that reminded me of the

one I had seen in Leyton, full of shops to my right and my left as I walked into it,and Sainsburys was right in front of me. I decided I would explore the area a bit,and have lunch somewhere.

Soon I received a text from Gabi, saying that the guy arrived home.

I went back to the place.

-Hi, Im Alex. I said after I entered the living room. Gabi was sitting by thewindow and another man was sitting on a dark blue sofa chair opposite to Gabi.

-Im Elies. The man answered. His beard was unshaven and he wore glasses, heseemed like someone in his late 30s.

- Do you smoke?Gabi asked me.

-No.I answered, while Elies was lighting up a cigarette.

-Its okay. I want to quit smoking anyway, if you dont want I wont smoke inthe room.He said as if he didnt care about anything.

-Oh, thank you. I said with a disguised relief. I had to take the place anywayand I was glad I wouldnt have to wake up with the smell of cigarette goinginside my nostrils. So can I move in today? Because its the last day of myreservation at the hostel.

- Sure. You can give the rent money when you come.

I was happy, and relieved. I went back to the hostel and grabbed all my stuff.

Since it was far from Leyton to Willesden Green I had to switch lines. So at the

stop, where I had to go to the line that would take me to Willesden, the

Underground was on platform 13. I smiled. What a weird coincidence Ithought.

I couldnt wait to tell my parents I had finally found a place later that evening. Ifelt happy, and just like I thought I would find a way out, I did.

I was going towards my new home.


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Chapter III

Number One in England

After I arrived home, took the essentials out of my luggage, talked to my parents

and done everything else I went into the living room which was right next to my

bedroom.

Elies, my roommate, was sitting in the couch talking with Gabi, who was sitting

by the window smoking.

-Hey. How you doin guys? I asked whilst entering the room.

-Hey. Good, good. You moved everything you needed to? - Elies asked.

-Yeah, all done.I said while sitting down in the couch, taking a deep breath.

-So..Gabi said, taking a pause to blow the smoke away - What brought you toLondon?

-BoxingI said hesitating a bit.

-Hah!Elies said.You want to be a boxer?he asked making it sound like aridiculous idea to me.

-Well..ye. I was four time national champion in Portugal, and I won a world

amateur title against a Ukrainian guy.I said at first with a low, soft voice, butas I kept going my confidence started to rise and my voice tone became more of

a mans. I used to do MMA as well, I know Muay Thai, Jiu Jitsu, military self-defence and a few other fighting styles.

-Really?Elies asked seemingly admired.

-Yeah..Ive been fighting for almost five years, only have one defeat, whichshouldve been a win.

-What happened?Gabi asked throwing his cigarette out the window.

-Well I was 16, me, my Master, and two other friends that trained with me as

well. We were going from Portugal to Switzerland. I was fighting a 23 year old

there in Kick Boxing discipline. During the two days of travel, the only thing I

could eat were salted biscuits because they didnt add weight, and I had to lose 4kilos. And I wasnt fat, so that got me pretty weak. And during the fight I was

doing pretty well, I thought I had won it. But when the results came, and as we


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were standing in the middle of the ring with the referee between us ready to raise

the winners hand. He didnt raise mine.

-Oh..well you cant win always. Elies said as he was lighting up another cigar.

-Well funny thing was, the guy was from the town and still the crowd was booingthe decision. My Master also told me that I only lost by one point, which is

ridiculous. Even though my friends were helping me walk cause my legs wereall swollen, seeing people clap at you, have people want to shake your hand,

makes it all worth it. Thats when I realized this is what I want to do for my life. Ieven gave my first autograph to a kid who came up to me while I was resting and

watching the other fights.I said feeling excited, pumped up in a way. Thinkingabout it all just reminded me exactly why I loved competing, and fighting

specially. Its a complete sport, body mind and soul must be connected togetherif you want to do well.

-Im friends with the ABA Champion. He is number one in England.Gabi said.

-Oh really?I asked surprised.

-Yeah. He does the same work that I do. Promoting for night clubs.

-Well. I need a job because my money isnt infinite. And Id like to meet him,maybe he could give me some advice, maybe tell me about some gym since Im

looking for one.

-Yeah I can introduce you to him, no problem. Come with me tomorrow. Gabisaid after he got up and wore his black leather jacket.

-You sure its okay? And by the way, what does the job consist of?

-Man its easy, you take people to night clubs, and you get a percentage of whatthat person pays for the ticket. Anyone can do it, you dont need to sign up orwhatever. Cash in hand business.

-Oh awesome! So tomorrow, if its okay, Ill go with you. Just to see what itslike.

-Sure, no problem. Gabi said while getting close to me for a fist bump. Seeyou man, Im going to work. Bye Elies.

-See you.Elies said while doing something on his phone.

Next morning when I woke up and looked out the window the sky was grey. It

seemed like it was going to rain.


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-Good morning!Elies said as he was wearing a dark brown sweater.

-Hey..good morning.I said as I was trying to clear the sleep from my eyes.

-Great weather outside!he said wearing a watch with a black bracelet.

-Yeah.. really nice..- I said cracking a short laugh.

-Welcome to London!

-Hah!

-Alright Im going shopping. See you man.

-See ya.I said just as I was about to get up and change clothes.

As I left the room, and went to the kitchen to prepare my breakfast I had thestairs next to my bedroom door make some noise. Just a few seconds later a girl

walks in the kitchen:

-Hey! You the new guy right? She asked. She seemed excited in a way, alldressed up in blue jeans and a nice beige jacket as if she was about to leave. Her

hair was so blonde that it was almost white.

-Hey, yeah Im the new guy I guess. - I responded with a polite smileMy nameis Alex.

-Im Cristina. You speak Russian? She asked while she was grabbing a waterbottle from the fridge and pouring some in a glass she grabbed closed by.

-Da.(Yes in Russian) I answered smiling.How did you know?

-You look like someone from the east. - She said looking at me with her bright

blue eyes.

-Oh..guess my infiltration into the house as a Portuguese guy didnt work huh?

-Nice try, but no. She said after a short laugh. Listen I gotta run. Nicemeeting you Alex!

-Nice to meet you too.I said interrupting my blow into the coffee in an attemptto cool it off a bit.

After I finished my breakfast I went into the living room, and tried watching

some English TV. But just like the TV in Portugal, full of shitty shows, and

brainwashing news so I went on to my computer and talked with some cyber

friends, told them the news and played a few games with some of them.


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It was about eight in the evening when Gabi walked in the living room and told

me he was leaving in half an hour, so if I wanted to go, I should get ready.

I didnt really know what to wear. Ended up picking some dark blue jeans, ablack and dark brown horizontal striped sweater and my beige winter coat, since

it was pretty cold outside.

-Officially my first day going to work. I said as we were walking out of thehouse.

-Really? You never worked before? Gabi asked as he was lighting up acigarette.

-Nope. Well I had like work experience thing when I was in school, but that was

some bullshit. I was studying programming and my work experience wasattending customers at a health centre.

-Oh man, thats boring.

-Yeah. At least promoting seems fun.

-Only when you see stupid people, which is almost every day after midnight. Or

when you see someone famous.

-Who have you seen?

-Ah.. mostly athletes that come party. You know Adebayor?

-Yeah. Hotspurs striker right?

-Ye. I was watching the Super Bowl in the Casino early this year, and he was

there with some people, like 5 feet away from me.

-Thats cool. I replied as we reached the underground.

After about thirty minutes we arrived to Piccadilly Circus. It was the first time

that I went there and the first thing I said was:

-Gabi.. are you sure this isnt Times Square in New York? I had never been toTimes Square either but I had seen it in movies. Piccadilly was full of lights at

night, there were some giant screens on top of some buildings playing different

commercials. It was really crowded.

-Haha!He laughed a bitIts Londons Times Square.


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-Really? Got any fights on the Internet?He asked looking a bit intrigued.

-Yeah. I have one on YouTube.

-Show me.He said hanging me his phone.

After I typed it in and gave him back the phone, he just leaned against a wall

nearby and stayed there watching it while I was talking to Gabi. Few minutes

later.

-Youre good.Nice fight there.

-Thanks. But that was over a year ago. My style is different now.

-Whos your favourite fighter?

-Mayweather of course!I said pretty excited about it.

-Then you really are good!He said followed by a quick laugh and giving me amore unique handshake like we were already good friends. So you want to go

professional yeah?

-Yeah. Thatswhy Im here.

-Where you training?

-I actually dont have a gym yet.

-How long you been here?

-A week.

-Oh so come to my gym. Youll train with the best in England!

-And the price will probably also be the highest in England no?I said ridiculingthe idea.

-Listen, Im inviting you. If you come with me, Ill talk to the management of theGym and you can train for free.

-Are you sure theres no problem?

-Of course not. Im their best fighter. If I ask for something, I usually get it.

-Wow.. thanks.I said pretty surprised by what I had just heard. Why is a guythat I just met doing this sort of thing for someone he knows for 10 minutes? Why you helping me?


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-Cause you seem like a good guy. And I like helping people if I can. And i treally is nothing to me so..He said pretty relaxed by every word he was saying.

-Thank you a lot man. Its rare to see people that just want to help asking fornothing in return.

-Yeah, its okay. James said smiling.

After a few more days of learning and making some money with Gabi, a club

changed its schedule until 6 in the morning, while all the others were closing

down at 3. So me, Gabi and James decided to go there, get some girls, have some

fun.

On the way there I was talking with James.

-So have you been making good money?

-Some days its been okay. Today I made zero. Shitty weather kinda ruined it all.

-I made 810 tonight.He said with a calm voice, like it was the usual for him.

-Wow.. you made tonight more than my mom or dad make in a month, thatscrazy.

-Really?He asked pretty surprised about it.

-Yeah.

-He takes 10 out of his wallet and hands them to me.

-Oh come on, you earned them not me.

-Dude you had a shitty night, it happens, take this, get a drink or something.

-Thank you, but I cant take it. And I dont drink so its no problem. I saidpretty happy about his gesture.

-Okayhe said stopping me while Gabi kept going up the street towards the clubheres what Im gonna do. Either you take it, or I rip this bill off.

-HahaI laughedyou wont do that. Just keep it, you earned it, its yours.

-Okay so I rip it offhe said with a serious face, and started to slowly rip the billoff.You sure you dont want it? I got 800 left I dont care about it. He kept

ripping it slowly until it was about halfway done, at that point I just grabbed itfrom his hand and put it in my pocket.


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-There you go. Now Im happy.

-You are crazy man. Thank you.

We reached the club and got in for free. Since we were promoters, Gabi and

James knew people, and the security, and since I was with them, I went in for

free as well.

The club was okay. Considering it was my first time at a club. It was packed, full

of people dancing, the music was loud. Gabi went to the bar to get a drink, while

me and James went to the second floor, and sat down in a sofa.

-You knowJames started talkingyou are gonna make it. I can see that in you.

You dont drink, you dont smoke, you dont party. I dont even know for surehow good you are now, but I know you got the right mentality for it.

-Well, Im just tired of the world that was put in front of me, I want somethingbetter.

-Yeah I understand. Dont forget me when you make it big. - He said putting hishand around me. He seemed like he had a drink before, I wasnt sure if he wastalking seriously of if he had a few drinks before we came to the club.

-Naa, I dont forget the good people. But you gonna make it too. Come on younumber one in England! All you need is to focus a bit.

-Ah, but I get distracted sometimes you know? I like to party during these brakes,

sometimes smoke some weed and shit like that. And women..man, women drive

me crazy, I get as much pussy as panties do. Look.. He said taking his phoneout of his pocket, and showing me some pictures of girls he has been with.

-Okay, now lets go downstairs and get us some girls. We standing here hugging

each other like two gay guys, not that theres anything wrong with that but still..-Yeah! Youre right. Lets go! James said while standing up. He had a moreawakened look on his face. While we were talking he was like someone who ishalf drunk half sleepy.

We went downstairs looking for Gabi. We didnt find him in the club so we wentoutside, we thought he mightve gone out to smoke. And he did. He was talkingwith some girls by himself, when we joined him. James got into the conversation

as well, while I was standing more to the side, just observing. I had read a book

called The Game, which is basically teaching how to talk and behave around


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women, pretty much because I was always a failure around them. I wasntconfident enough, I was shy sometimes, but since I had read it I was feeling

confident, and felt like I had the tools to get any girl that I wanted in that club.

Soon, the girls went inside the club, and since Gabi was smoking again, we

stayed with him. I noticed James approaching a tall blonde girl who was alsosmoking by herself. She had blue eyes and was wearing a short orange dress and

high heels that looked like they were made out of gold. After just a few seconds I

see James turning around towards where I was sitting and calling me.

-Hey Alex! You speak Russian right?

-Yeah.I said with my voice a bit loud since he was a bit far from me.

-Come here.He asked me, and I went.This girl wants to meet you.She was

standing there looking beautiful, and looking at me as I was getting closer. I feltembarrassed. My confidence seemed like it just flushed down the toilet. But still

I tried to keep a strong voice tone, I wanted to sound confident and like a man,

not a 19 year old kid. James went back to Gabi, while I started talking to her in

Russian. I was asking basic questions like where you from, she asked back, and

after about two minutes when she finished the cigarette, she grabbed my hand,

and started walking inside the club. I was just going after her, but my knees

where shaking, my hands were sweaty, I was really nervous. As we walked by

Gabi and James I looked at them, they were both smiling. Gabi even said:

-Oh! Nice man!giving me thumbs up approving what I had accomplished.

She dragged me right to the dancing area, I placed my coat on a sofa that was

nearby, and sat there looking at her, while she started dancing. She seemed to had

forgotten about me, and I was too nervous to go to her, I was too nervous to

move, I was too nervous for anything. I looked to my right and there was a guy

that looked like he was in his 50s, beard all over his face, dressed with tightblack leather pants and a pink shirt with a golden necklace around his neck. He

looked at me, pointed at the girl, and gave me a thumbs up along with a creepysmiley face.

Unfortunately, she didnt forget about me. She came to me, grabbed my hands,got me up and said: Come on! Lets dance. I started moving like someone whowas trying not to move because he had to take a shit. I couldnt even hear themusic, and I didnt know how to dance. I got close to her, and told her that Ididnt know how to dance. She said:

-Come on, listen to the music. Woooohhh!! She said, looking like someonewho was clearly having a great time.


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I continued trying to dance, but the more I did, the more stupid I felt. So I just sat

down in the sofa, spread my arms on top of it, pretending that I was feeling

comfortable. Maybe she would soon finish and join me, so I could use some of

my communication tricks.

She didnt.

But instead, another girl came and sat next to me. She started talking to me,

asking me stuff about where I was from, what I was doing and stuff, she was

clearly interested in me. When I told her I was from Moldova and I spoke

Romanian, she wanted to know how to say certain things in Romanian:

-How do you say, you have pretty eyes?She asked.

-Tu ai ochi frumosi. I answered. She smiled.-How do you say..hmm..I like your lips?

-mi plac buzele tale.

-And, how do you say, kiss me?She said whispering to my ear, and moving herhead back but still keeping it close to me.

-Pupa-ma. I answered.

She saidWhat?

And I repeated.

And then she left.

And then, I realized how fucking stupid I was. I went outside looking for Gabi

and James. They were both making out with some girls, so I just went home, and

texted Gabi saying that I was home, and to not look after me in the club.

On the way home I was feeling really bad. I had two girls, and didnt getanything with neither of them. I was stupid, weak, pathetic.


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Chapter IV

Londons best souvenir

Chapter V

The girl with the golden hair

Documents

Finding Your Own Nectar