Kenneth Spangler

J351 – Final

04/28/10

Throughout the course of the semester in J351, I learned many things about the editing process. Exercises on the various journalism websites helped to refresh my memory both on matters of AP style as well as rules of traditional grammar that I had not thought much of since high school English class. I thoroughly enjoyed the vocabulary building crossword puzzles and various exercises that taught me things such as how to spell, “embarrass,” with clever sayings to help it stick with you. Although I only received content from one person, it was truly a learning experience to apply the skills that I learned in class to the actual editing process. While I obviously did not learn everything there is to know about AP style, and I suppose no one ever does, I learned what types of words and entries that I need to look up in the AP online Stylebook.

What was arguably more valuable to my future career is all of the technological things I learned this semester. The track changes button on Microsoft Word is something that I was vaguely familiar with but did not understand the full functionality of until taking this class. It definitely helps to showcase the editing that I am capable of. I had also never heard of the free computer programs like Jing and Issuu that are critical tools for developing an online portfolio. They are extremely easy to learn and use but make what little journalistic experience I have thus far look much more presentable than I had originally imagined.

The part of the class that I found to be the most difficult was the exercises concerning writing headlines. I thought that this would be a fun assignment before I really got started but once I got into the depths of it I realized how hard it actually is to create headlines that consist of the appropriate amount of characters and columns. I know that the headlines I came up with were not very good and I think that this is definitely an area of journalism that I need to work on. When comparing my headlines to those of the professionals there was absolutely no comparison. While they could come up with cute, witty and relevant lines, I came up with informative but boring headlines.

In conclusion, after taking this class I feel that I am a better editor, more technologically adept, and likely a better writer. I am more proficient in AP style than ever before and am looking forward to pursuing an internship and possible a career in editing. I rediscovered that I enjoy working with words and punctuation and hope that I can apply these skills to a profession in the future.

Vicky Jordan

J409

3.3.10

“Dancing Queen”

What do a soap star, a “Baywatch” beauty, an astronaut, a recent ‘Bachelor’, and an Olympic gold medalist all have in common??

Well, they are all starring on the newest season of “Dancing with the Stars,” which premieres March 22nd

Monday night

.

ABC announced the latest cast of the hit show including: Aiden Turner from All My Children, Pamela Anderson, Buzz Aldrin, Jake Pavelka and Evan Lysacek, who won the gold medal in men’s figure skating in Vancouver.

Prepare yourself for some fancy footwork, flashy sequins and some funky dance routines because the sky is the limit as these stars waltz their way closer to the infamous mirror ball trophy, which has been claimed by past ‘Dancing’ favorites like Drew Lachey, Apolo Anton Ohno, Helio Castroneves, and Shawn Johnson.

In fact, if you’re looking for a fun and easy way to burn calories, ballroom dancing is just the ticket.

Not only is dancing great aerobic exercise, but also can improve muscle strength, balance, decrease blood pressure, and some even agree it helps reduce stress and chronic fatigue (acefitness.org).

Depending on the type of dance, one can easily burn between five to 10 calories per minute on the dance floor (dancescape.org).

Speaking of calories, it might be a good idea to look at your calorie requirements before beginning a new exercise regimen (sheerbalance.com).

If you’re looking to get your groove on, here are some local Indianapolis dance companies. Check these out:

http://www.salsaindy.com/

http://www.indyarthurmurray.com/

http://www.fountainsquareindy.com/

http://www.naptownstomp.org/

http://www.indyswing.org/

Vicky,

Great article, I really enjoyed the conversational tone of it. Your AP style is basically perfect. I made a few changes, mostly taking out unnecessary words. There is one comment below. Overall it was very easy to edit. Is your blog about fitness? Let me know what you think.

Kenneth

Vicky Jordan

J409

3.3.10

“Dancing Queen”

What do a soap star, a “Baywatch” beauty, an astronaut, a recent ‘Bachelor’, and an Olympic gold medalist all have in common??

Well, they are all starring on the newest season of “Dancing with the Stars,” which premieres March 22nd

Monday night

.

ABC announced the latest cast of the hit show. It includesing: Aiden Turner from “All My Children,”, Pamela Anderson, Buzz Aldrin, Jake Pavelka and Evan Lysacek, who won the gold medal in men’s figure skating in Vancouver.

Prepare yourself for some fancy footwork, flashy sequins and some funky dance routines because the sky is the limit as these stars waltz their way closer to the infamous mirror ball trophy, which has been claimed by past ‘Dancing’ favorites like Drew Lachey, Apolo Anton Ohno, Helio Castroneves, and Shawn Johnson.

In fact, if you’re looking for a fun and easy way to burn calories, ballroom dancing is just the ticket.

Not only is dancing great aerobic exercise, but also canit can also improve muscle strength and, balance,, anddecreasease blood pressure., and some even agree it helpsIt can even help reduce stress and chronic fatigue (acefitness.org). Comment [k1]: I struggled a lit bit in editing this

graph. I edited it but kept it in the form starting with Not. The paragraph below is how I would write it but you are welcome to use whichever form you like best.

Dancing is a great aerobic exercise. It can improve muscle strength and balance. It can also decrease blood pressure and help reduce stress and chronic fatigue (acefitness.org).

Depending on the type of dance, one can easily burn between five to 10 calories per minute on the dance floor (dancescape.org).

Speaking of calories, it might be a good idea to look at your calorie requirements before beginning a new exercise regimen (sheerbalance.com).

If you’re looking to get your groove on, here are some local Indianapolis dance companies. Check these out:

http://www.salsaindy.com/

http://www.indyarthurmurray.com/

http://www.fountainsquareindy.com/

http://www.naptownstomp.org/

http://www.indyswing.org/

3-3-10 Editing Comments

In editing this article I began to notice that writers including myself often use unnecessary words to get from one thought to the other. I also learned about hyperlinks, how to incorporate them, how to check to see if they work and how useful they actually are when imbedded in articles. I left the conversational tone because the article was for a blog and not hard news. I struggled with one graph but left Vicky a comment to try to make the paragraph easier to read. I also noticed that she used the word, “between,” which is spatial to explain statistics, so I took it out.

Vicky Jordan (J409)

“The Early Bird gets the Worm”

According to 2009 statistics from the American Cancer Society, there were an estimated 194,280 new cases of breast cancer and 40,610 deaths from the disease. These statistics included both men and women.

Although breast cancer is much more common in women, who have a 1-in-8 chance of developing the disease in their lifetime, the chances for men are only about 1 in 1,000 (cancer.org).

With the help of early detection, women diagnosed with breast cancer can nearly double their chance for survival (breastcancer.org).

Women between the ages of 50-69, who have been diagnosed with breast cancer, may lower their mortality rate by up to 30 percent with regular mammogram screenings (cancer.gov). Women in their 40’s may lower their risk by up to 17 percent (cancer.gov).

According to the National Cancer Institute (NCI), for women aged 40 and older, regular mammogram screenings rose to 70 percent in 2000 but fell to 67 percent in 2005.

The U.S. Preventative Services Task Force recommends women aged 50-74 should receive a mammogram every two years (breastcancer.org).

Yet, there is a heated debate around the age which women should begin receiving mammograms.

For instance, the Task Force recommends screenings beginning at age 50, while the American Cancer Society recommends beginning at age 40 (breastcancer.org).

On the other hand, if we keep the recommendation for women at 40, could this do more harm than good?

According to NCI, which also recommends screenings beginning at age 40, younger women have a greater risk of developing breast cancer due to radiation exposure.

Other risk factors include false-negative test results (shows no cancer when there is), which are more common in younger women. NCI says that 1-in-5 cancers may be overlooked by mammograms (cancer.gov).

False-positive test results (shows cancer when there isn’t) are also more common in younger women and can lead to unnecessary anxiety (cancer.gov).

Since 2002 the Task Force has conducted a review comparing breast cancer mortality rates and effectiveness with screenings, finding that early screenings led to over-diagnosis rates of 1-10 percent (breastcancer.org).

NCI recommends receiving clinical breast exams by your health care provider and high-quality mammogram screenings on a regular basis as the most effective ways to detect early breast cancer (cancer.gov).

If you’re at high risk for breast cancer, always consult your doctor about early screening(s).

For more information on screening tests and early detection for breast cancer, visit CDC.gov.

Vicky,

I edited your article, let me know what you think. Great work as always. Thanks for providing content, it is much appreciated.

Kenneth

Vicky Jordan (J409)

“The Early Bird gets the Worm”

According to 2009 statistics from the American Cancer Society, there were an estimated 194,280 new cases of breast cancer and 40,610 deaths from the disease in 2009. These statistics included both men and women.

Although Bbreast cancer is much more common in women, who have a 1-in-8 chance of developing the disease in their lifetime., Tthe chances for men are only about 1 in 1,000 (cancer.org).

With the help of early detection, women diagnosed with breast cancer can nearly double their chance for survival (breastcancer.org).

Women between the ages of 50-69,, who have been diagnosed with breast cancer, may lower their mortality rate by up to 30 percent with regular mammogram screenings (cancer.gov). Women in their 40’s may lower their risk by up to 17 percent (cancer.gov).

According to the National Cancer Institute (NCI), for women aged 40 and older, regular mammogram screenings rose to 70 percent in 2000 but fell to 67 percent in 2005.

The U.S. Preventative Services Task Force recommends women aged 50-74 should receive a mammogram every two years (breastcancer.org).

Yet, there is a heated debate around concerning the age at which women should begin receiving mammograms.

For instance, Tthe Task Force recommends screenings beginnning at age 50, while the American Cancer Society recommends beginning at age 40 (breastcancer.org).

On the other hand, Iif we keep the recommendation for women at 40, could this do more harm than good?

According to NCI, which also recommends screenings beginning at age 40, younger women have a greater risk of developing breast cancer due to radiation exposure.

Other risk factors include false-negative test results (shows no cancer when there is), which are more common in younger women. NCI says that 1-in-5 cancers may be overlooked by mammograms (cancer.gov).

False-positive test results (shows cancer when there isn’t) are also more common in younger women and can lead to unnecessary anxiety (cancer.gov).

Since 2002, the Task Force has conducted a review comparing breast cancer mortality rates and effectiveness with screenings, finding that early screenings led to over-diagnosis rates of 1-10 percent (breastcancer.org).

NCI recommends receiving clinical breast exams by your health care provider and high-quality mammogram screenings on a regular basis as the most effective ways to detect early breast cancer (cancer.gov).

If you’re at high risk for breast cancer, always consult your doctor about early screening(s).

For more information on screening tests and early detection for breast cancer, visit CDC.gov.

4-1-10 Commentary

For this article I learned about fact-checking statistics. I checked the stats on the sites that she cited as sources and they checked out. Statistics are often hard to put into words and I think that Vicky did a good job. Again, I removed words that were unnecessary such as, “although, between, and around.” The word, “around,” is another word describing space so I changed it to, “concerning.” The rest of the editing I did for this article involved taking out the conversational tone and editing for more strict AP style. I took out transitional phrases such as, “for instance,” and, “on the other hand.” I especially liked how she ends the articles on a positive note providing useful advice for how you can lower your risk for breast cancer with links to helpful websites.

By Vicky Jordan

J409

“Profiles of Courage: Laughter is a wonderful healing tool.”

According to statistics from the American Cancer Society, there were an estimated 192,370 new cases of breast cancer among women and 40,170 deaths from the disease in 2009 (cancer.org).

However, with the help of early detection, women diagnosed with breast cancer can nearly double their chance for survival (breastcancer.org).

Julie Runge, 43, a resident of Indianapolis, became diagnosed with breast cancer in March 2009 after finding some abnormalities during a self breast exam.

According to the Cancer Prevention Coalition, 90 percent or more of women who develop breast cancer find the tumors themselves.

Runge then contacted her doctor, scheduling a mammogram, an MRI and an ultrasound, with all showing no signs of cancer. She would later have surgery on her right breast, only to find cancer 2mm in diameter.

However, after four biopsies and three surgeries, doctors were unable to find the extent of cancer in her right breast, so Runge made a life-altering decision. She underwent a double mastectomy.

Luckily for Runge, the cancer was caught early enough that it did not spread to her lymph nodes.

After speaking with other cancer survivors, Runge says, “I decided to be proactive instead of reactive.”

Over the past year, Runge has had a total of seven surgeries on her breasts. Her 13-year-old son Elijah took the news of her diagnosis particularly hard.

“He had a bit of trouble with the ‘C’-word,” Runge says, “but I tried to handle it with a positive attitude so as not to scare him.”

At the time of her diagnosis, Runge was working two jobs, both at AT&T and part-time at Starbucks.

During her recovery period, since she was unable to maintain the minimum of 20 hours working at Starbucks, she became laid off.

Runge says she doesn’t allow herself to “feel like a victim,” and offers up some encouraging words for others who have been diagnosed with breast cancer.

She advises for others to be their own best advocates. “There is no magical answer how to deal with this,” she says, “but it is not a death sentence.”

Amazed by the support she’s had since her diagnosis, Runge says, “I have never felt so loved in my life.”

In the end, she says it’s all about your attitude.

“Positive thoughts allowed me to seem to survive unscathed,” she says.

Even after all she has been through, Runge still manages to laugh at herself.

“Laughter is a wonderful healing tool,” she says. “It takes your breath away and gives you the most amazing strength.”

By Vicky Jordan

J409

“Profiles of Courage: Laughter is a wonderful healing tool.”

According to statistics from the American Cancer Society, there were an estimated 192,370 new cases of breast cancer among women and 40,170 deaths from the disease in 2009 (cancer.org).

However, Wwith the help of early detection, women diagnosed with breast cancer can nearly double their chance for survival (breastcancer.org).

Julie Runge, 43, a resident of Indianapolis, became diagnosed with breast cancer in March 2009 after finding some abnormalities during a self breast exam.

According to the Cancer Prevention Coalition, 90 percent or more of women who develop breast cancer find the tumors themselves.

Runge then contacted her doctor, and scheduleding a mammogram, an MRI and an ultrasound, with all showing no signs of cancer. She would later have surgery on her right breast, only to find cancer 2 mm in diameter.

However, aAfter four biopsies and three surgeries, doctors were unable to find the extent of cancer in her right breast, so Runge made a life-altering decision. She and underwent a double mastectomy.

Luckily for Runge, the cancer was caught early enough that it did not spread to her lymph nodes.

After speaking with other cancer survivors, Runge says, “I decided to be proactive instead of reactive.”

Over the past year, Runge has had a total of seven surgeries on her breasts. Her 13-year-old son Elijah took the news of her diagnosis particularly hard.

“He had a bit of trouble with the ‘C’-word,” Runge says, “but I tried to handle it with a positive attitude so as not to scare him.”

At the time of her diagnosis, Runge was working two jobs, both at AT&T and part-time at Starbucks.

During her recovery period, since she was unable to maintain the minimum of 20 hours working at Starbucks, she and became was laid off.

Runge says she doesn’t allow herself to “feel like a victim,” and offers up some encouraging words for others who have been diagnosed with breast cancer.

She advises for others to be their own best advocates. “There is no magical answer (regarding) how to deal with this,” she says, “but it is not a death sentence.”

Amazed by the support she’s has had since her diagnosis, Runge says, “I have never felt so loved in my life.”

In the end, she says it’s all about your attitude.

“Positive thoughts allowed me to seem to survive unscathed,” she says.

Even after all she has been through, Runge still manages to laugh at herself.

“Laughter is a wonderful healing tool,” she says. “It takes your breath away and gives you the most amazing strength.”

4-19-10 Commentary

This article maintains the pace of the last two with the removal of unnecessary conversational words such as, “however.” I really enjoyed this article because I thought that it told a great story. I reworded a few graphs to make them, in my opinion, easier to read. Vicky wrote with impeccable AP style for this article and it was a very easy story to edit.