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FORMINGFAITHATHOMEWITHCHILDRENJoleneRoehlkepartain
BRINGINGOUTTHEBESTINCHILDREN
Congrega)onswanttonurturechildren’sspiritualgrowthandtheirspiritual
journey.
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BUTWHENITCOMESTOCHILDDEVELOPMENT…
THAT’SNOTOURAREAOFEXPERTISE
Parents,teachers,childcare
providers,coaches,pediatricians,andothersaretheexpertswiththeotheraspectsofchildren’sdevelopment.
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BECAUSEWEIGNORECHILDDEVELOPMENT
Weinadvertentlyenduppromo)ngafracturedsense
ofthechild.
BUTTHAT’SOKAY—ISN’TIT?
Congrega)onsdotheworkthatreallyma@ers.
(It’sallabouttheheart—the
spirit—right?)
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EVERYASPECTOFTHECHILDMATTERS
CHILD
Spiritual
MoralIntellectual
Social Physical
Emotional
WHYSTUDYCHILDDEVELOPMENT?1. Welearnmoreaboutwhatmakeschildren)ck:howtheythink,feel,andact.
2. Wediscoverhowtointeractwiththemmoreeffec)velyandstrengthenourrela)onshipswiththem.
3. Wecanhelpchildrengrowspiritually—andmoreholis)callywhenweemphasizeallaspectsofdevelopment.
4. Wecanbe@ersupportparents—whoareexpectedtonurtureeveryaspectofthechild.
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FORMSMALLGROUPS
1. Formgroupsof3to4people.2. You’lltalkandworkwiththisgroupforthissession.
DISCUSS:INYOURSMALLGROUP1. Sayyourname.2. Saywhereyou’refrom.3. Saywhatyoulovemostaboutworkingwithchildren.
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CHAPTER5
Part5A:YoungChildren:BirthtoAge5Part5B:OlderChildren:Ages6to10Part5C:YoungTeens:Ages11to14Part5D:OlderTeens:Ages15to18
Part5E:EmergingAdults:Ages19to29
CHAPTER5:OURFOCUSTODAY
Part5A:YoungChildren:
BirthtoAge5(Pages109-118)
Part5B:OlderChildren:
Ages6to10(Pages119-126)
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CYCLESOFCHILDDEVELOPMENT
Disequilibrium Equilibriumu Breaking-upbehavior
u Inwardbehavioru Conflictedbehavior
u Smoothandconsolidated
u Roundedandbalanced
u Vigorous,expansivebehavior
CYCLESOFINFANTDEVELOPMENT
Disequilibrium Equilibriumu 12weeks
u 20weeks
u 32weeks
u 44weeks
u 16weeks
u 28weeks
u 40weeks
u 1year(52weeks)
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KEYMESSAGESFORUNDERSTANDINGINFANTS
u Theworldishugeintheeyesofaninfant.u Theflooristheplayworldofinfants.u Getdownonthefloortointeractwithinfants.u Whenweunderstandaninfant’sworld,wecanhelpinfantsgrowupwellandgrowspiritually.
CYCLESOFTODDLERDEVELOPMENT
Disequilibrium Equilibriumu 15to18months
u 2½years
u 1year
u 2years
u 3years
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KEYMESSAGESFORUNDERSTANDINGTODDLERS
u Toddlersareatapush-pullstage.u Arefusaltoshare(the“mine”stage)isacri)calpartofatoddler’sdevelopment.Empowertoddlerstohangontowhatbelongstothemwhilealsoteachingthemtoshare.
u Expecttoddlerstohit,slap,grab,punch,andbiteANDbeclearaboutappropriatebehavior—andwhat’snot.
CYCLESOFPRESCHOOLERDEVELOPMENTDisequilibrium Equilibriumu 3½years
u 4½years
u 5½years
u 3years
u 4years
u 5years
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KEYMESSAGESFORUNDERSTANDINGPRESCHOOLERS
u Preschoolershaveadeligheulimagina)on.u Preschoolersaskalotofques)ons.u Preschoolersgothroughdemandingstages:theturbulentthrees,thefrustra)ngfours,andthefinickyfives.
u Preschoolerscanbeveryhardontheirparents.
THETENFAITHFACTORS1. Feelingvaluedandaccepted2. Developingcaringrela)onships3. Engaginginlearning4. Celebra)ngmilestones5. Prayingandmedita)ng6. Serving,volunteering,andhelping7. A@endingworshipservices8. Findingmeaningandpurpose9. Examiningapersonalreligionandspirituality10. Developinganintegra)vefaith
TheTenFaithFactorsShapingEachStageofL
Note:Thesefactorsarerootedinchilddevelopment,adolescentdevelopment,adultdevel
YoungChildren(Ages0to5) OlderChildren(Ages6to10) YoungAdolescents(Ages11to14) Older
(Ages
1.Feelsvaluedandaccepted 1.Connectstosafeandstimulatingadultsandpeers 1.Yearnstobepartofagroupthatmatters 1.Disco between indepen
2.Developscaringrelationships 2.Thriveswithconsistentsupportandcare 2.Cravessupportandfightsit 2.Redefi support
3.Followsacuriosityforlearning 3.Engagesinlearninganddiscovery 3.Feelsconflictedaboutlearning 3.Yearnst succeedinways
4.Celebratesmilestones 4.Enjoysmilestones 4.Celebratesmilestoneswhileresistingthem 4.Enjoysmmilestones
5.Triesmeditationandprayer 5.Exploresmeditationandprayer 5.Wondersaboutmeditationandprayer 5.Meditates withquestion
6.Servesandhelpsothers 6.Developsfairness,justice,&compassion 6.Balksatsomeservice;deepensothers 6.Createsacotoservice
7.Attendsworshipservices 7.Participatesinworshipservices 7.Attendsworshipserviceswithresistance7.Participates inwaysthatref personalfaithjo
8.Observesadultswhohavepurposeandmeaning8.Mimicsadultswhohavepurposeandmeaning
8.Longsformeaningwhilewonderingaboutit8.Exploresmean purpose
9.Experimentswithapersonalspirituality 9.Becomesexposedtomorereligiousandspiritualexperiences9.Desiresreligiousandspiritualbelonging 9.Questionsrelig andspiritualbelie
10.Exploreshowfaithandlifeinteract 10.Discovershowfaithandlifeinteract 10.Experimentswithwaystointegratefaithintolife10.Deepensfaithintegrationwhilecontinuingtoquesti
ReprintedwithpermissionforeducationaluseonlyfromFamiliesattheCenterofFaithFormationbyLeifKehrwald,
andJoleneRoehlkepartain(Naugatuck,CT:LifelongFaithPublications,2016),page108.
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THETENFAITHFACTORSFORYOUNGCHILDREN(BIRTHTOAGE5)
Part5A:YoungChildren:
BirthtoAge5
Seepages109-118
THETENFAITHFACTORSFORYOUNGCHILDREN(BIRTHTOAGE5)1. Feelsvaluedandaccepted2. Developscaringrela)onships3. Followsacuriosityforlearning4. Celebratesmilestones5. Triesmedita)onandprayer6. Servesandhelpsothers7. A@endsworshipservices8. Observesadultswhohavepurposeandmeaning9. Experimentswithapersonalspirituality10. Exploreshowfaithandlifeintersect
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YOUNGCHILDREN(BIRTHTOAGE5):LAYINGTHEFOUNDATION
“Religiousdevelopmentislikethebuildingofacollege.Thereisalongperiodwhenthefounda)onsarebeinglaid,whenwhatisgoingondoesnotlookatalllikethefinishedproduct.”
R.S.Lee YourGrowingChildandReligion
TIPSFORFAITHFORMATIONFORYOUNGCHILDREN(BIRTHTOAGE5)u Givechildrenspeciala@en)on,warmth,andcloseness.u Besensi)veandresponsivetochildren’sneeds.u Createsafe,s)mula)ngenvironmentsforexplora)on.u Celebratemilestones.u Teachandmodelshortmedita)onsandprayers.u Doshort,one-)meservice“orhelping”projects.u [email protected] Giveopportuni)esforchildrentoplay.u Providewaysforchildrento“experience”faith.
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FAITHFORMATIONATHOMEHAPPENSINFOURSETTINGSu 1.Home:Whatarefamiliesdoingtogrowinfaithanddiscipleshipineachofthefaith-formingprocesses?
u 2.Intergenera)onal:Howarefamiliesconnectedtoothergenera)onsinyourcongrega)on?
u 3.Congrega)onallife:Howisyourcongrega)onempowering,resourcing,andsuppor)ngfamiliestogrowasdisciplesandprac)cetheirfaith?
u 4.Parents:Howisyourcongrega)onempowering,resourcing,andsuppor)ngparentsasfaithformers?u SeeChapter6,Strategy2,Pages166-169
DISCUSS:INYOURSMALLGROUPu Repeatyourname.u Ofthefourareasofwherefaithforma)onhappens,whichisthestrongestforyou?Theweakest?Thefourareasare:1.Home2.Intergenera)onalconnec)ons3.Congrega)on4.Empoweringparents
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THETENFAITHFACTORSFOROLDERCHILDREN
(AGES6to10)
Part5B:OlderChildren:Ages6to10
Seepages119-126
CYCLESOFOLDERCHILDDEVELOPMENT(AGES6TO12)
Disequilibrium Equilibriumu 5½years
u 7years
u 9years
u 11years
u 6½years
u 8years
u 10years
u 12years
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KEYMESSAGESFORUNDERSTANDINGOLDERCHILDREN
u Childrenatthisagelearnbestthroughac)vepar)cipa)on(eventhoughthey’relearnedhowtosits)llmorethanyoungerchildren).
u Beclearaboutsociallyacceptablebehavior.u Theseareokenthe“quietyears”ofdevelopment.u Developtheircuriosityandmo)va)on.
THETENFAITHFACTORSFOROLDERCHILDREN(AGES6TO10)1. Connectstosafeands)mula)ngadultsandpeers2. Thriveswithconsistentsupportandcare3. Engagesinlearninganddiscovery4. Enjoysmilestones5. Exploresmedita)onandprayer6. Developsfairness,jus)ce,andcompassion7. Par)cipatesinworshipservices8. Mimicsadultswhohavepurposeandmeaning9. Becomesexposedtomorereligiousandspiritualexperiences
10. Discovershowfaithandlifeintersect
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OLDERCHILDREN(AGES6TO10):INDIVIDUALEXPRESSIONEMERGES
“Spiritualdevelopmentusuallybeginstofindindividualexpressionat6yearsofage.”
VivianThompsonandJacquelineBraeger HumanDevelopmentandFaith
TIPSFORFAITHFORMATIONFOROLDERCHILDREN(AGES6TO10)u Developstrongrela)onshipsbetweenadultsandchildrenandalsobetweenchildren.
u [email protected] Includechildreninmilestones,rituals,andsacraments.u TeachchildrentotalktoGodandhowtomeditateinsilence.
u Doshort,easy,meaningfulserviceprojects.u [email protected] Giveopportuni)esforchildrentoconnectwithpassionateadults.
u Ensurethatchildrendon’tgetboredanddisconnect.
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FACTORSTHATINFLUENCECHILDDEVELOPMENTu Familyfactors(economics,familyinterac)ons,faithprac)ces)
u Environments(home,childcare,school,congrega)on)u Gene)cs(temperament,height,skincolor,etc.)u Health(physical,mental,nutri)on,andaccesstohigh-qualityhealthcare)
u Traumaand/orlossu Rela)onships
TheNa)onalIns)tuteofChildHealthandHumanDevelopment
SEVENSTAGESOFPARENTSOFFAITHStage1—Wonderingandimagining(pre-birth)
Stage2—Caringandnurturing(birthto2years)
Stage3—Tes)ngandtreasuring(2to5years)
Stage4—Suppor)ngandstrengthening(6to10years)
Stage5—Experimen)ngandencouraging(11to14years)
Stage6—Guidingandques)oning(15to18years)
Stage7—Launchingandfostering(19to29years)
TheSevenStagesofParentsofFaith
Stage1—WonderingandImagining—Duringthewaitingprocess(ofadoptionand/o
pregnancy),adultswonderwhatitwillbeliketobeparentsandtohaveachildjointhem
It’stheAdventtimeofparenting.Manyparentsseethisasasacredexperience,spending
timeinwonderandprayer.(Pre-Birth)
Stage2—CaringandNurturing—Duringthefirsttwoyearsofachild’slife,parentsmeet
thechild’sneedsandprovidegreatcareandnurture,whichlaysthefoundationforspiritu
formation.Bygivingyoungchildrenalotoffaithexperiencesathomeanawayfromhome,
childrendevelopthecriticalfoundationtheyneedfortheirfaithjourney.(Birthto2years)
Stage3—TestingandTreasuring—Whenchildrenbegintoresistandexplorelimits,
parentsbecometestedthemselves.Howwilltheyrespondtothesedisplaysofpowerwhile
treasuringtheirchildfromafaithperspective?ParentscantalkwithchildrenaboutGod,
praywiththem,takethemtoworshipservices,introducechildrentopeopleoffaith,and
lovetheirchildrendeeplywhilesettingclearboundaries,allwhatchildrenneedfortheir
faithjourney.(2to5years)Stage4—SupportingandStrengthening—Duringtheelementary-schoolyears,parents
supporttheirchild’sspiritualandoveralldevelopment,strengtheningtiestootherpeople
andtoimportantinstitutions,suchaschurchandschool.Whenparentspray,eattogetheras
afamily,attendworshipservices,andhaveconversationsaboutfaith,theyhelpstrengthen
theirchild’sfaithjourney.(6to10years)
Stage5—ExperimentingandEncouraging—Whileyoungadolescentsexperimentwith
differentidentities,parentsdiscoverthatthey,too,needtoexperimentwithnewwaysto
interactwiththeiryoungadolescentwhileencouraginghimorhertodevelopapersonal
faith.Parentscontinuetomodeltheirfaithbyattendingworshipservicesregularly,doing
serviceprojects,praying,readingscripture,andtalkingaboutfaith.(11to14years)
Stage6—GuidingandQuestioning—High-school-ageyoungpeopleneedparentswho
helpthemmakesenseoftheirworldandtheirfuture.Whileolderteenagersquestion
variousaspectsoffaith,parentsneedtoquestionhowtheycancontinuetomodelandtalk
aboutfaithissuesthatbringthemclosertotheirteenagerratherthandrivethemapart.
Parentsneedtocontinueshowingthattheirfaithmatterstothembytalkingaboutit,
attendingworshipservices,anddoingotherfaithpractices,suchasprayerandmeditation.
(15to18years)Stage7—LaunchingandFostering—Asyoungadultsleavehomeandfindtheirwayinthe
world,theyneedparentswhoremainconnectedtothemwhilelettingthemgo.Parents
continuetoserveasfaithmodelsfortheiryoungadults,providingasafeplaceforyoung
adultstograpplewithfaithissues.Whenparentshaveastrongreligiouscommitment
(meaningtheyattendworshipservicesregularlyandtalkabouttheimportanceoftheir
faith),themorelikelyyoungadultswillfindareligiousgrounding.(19to29years)
ReprintedwithpermissionforeducationaluseonlyfromFamiliesattheCenterofFaithFormationby
LeifKehrwald,JohnRoberto,GeneRoehlkepartain,andJoleneRoehlkepartain(Naugatuck,CT:
LifelongFaithPublications,2016),pages105-107.
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WHYPARENTSRESISTBUILDINGFAITHATHOMEu Theythinkthey’renottheexperts.(Theythinkpeopleinchurchesare.)
u They’reokennotcomfortablewiththeirfaith—andtheirfaithjourney.
u Theythinkthatfaithisabstract,notprac)cal.
u Theydon’tknowwhattodo.
EVERYONEISONASPIRITUALJOURNEY
u Thechildreninyourcongrega)onu Theparentsofthechildreninyourcongrega)onu Yourvolunteersu Yourchurchleadership
Keyques)on:Howareyounurturingthespiritualjourneyofallthepeopleaffectedbyyourministry?
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DISCUSS:INYOURSMALLGROUP1. Repeatyourname.2. Talkaboutwhat’simpac)ngyourspiritualjourneyatthemoment.1. Isitaspiritualbookorscriptureyou’rereading?2. Isitaspiritualprac)ceyou’redoing?3. Isthereanevent(orpastevent)?4. Isthereaques)onyou’rewrestlingwith?5. Istheresomethingelse?
UNDERSTANDINGTHEUNFORTUNATECYCLE
Children’sministryisalabor-intensiveministry.
Typically,it’sthemostlaborintensiveofacongrega)on.
Thislaborintensitycanmakeitdifficulttocreatechange.
Volunteersburnoutanddon’treturn
Yourprogramsuffers
Volunteersarehardtofind
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FREEDOWNLOADSONTHEWEBSITE
101simple,faith-basedac)vi)estodealwithchildren’swigglesandboredom.
FINDINGTHEFREEDOWNLOADSVisit:Lifelongfaith.com.Find“Symposium.”Find“FamilySymposiumProgram.”
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7STRATEGIESFORYOURMINISTRY1. Rethinkrela)onships2. Developrela)onshipsbetweenchildren
3. Focusonrela)onshipsbetweenchildrenandadultleaders
4. Formrela)onshipswithandbetweenparents
5. Connectvolunteerstoeachother6. Createwaysforfamiliestobetogether7. Makechildrenmorevisibleinyourcongrega)on
SevenStrategiesforyourFamily-Cente
Transformyourchildren’sministrybyfocusingononeormore
strategies.Writeyourideasnexttothestrategythatintriguesyo
Strategy
YourIdeas
Strategy#1:Rethinkrelationships
Strategy#2:Developrelationshipsbetweenchildren
Strategy#3:Focusonrelationshipsbetweenchildrenandadultleaders
Strategy#4:Formrelationshipswithandbetweenparents
Strategy#5:Connectvolunteerstoeachother
Strategy#6:Createwaysforfamiliestobetogether
Strategy#7:Makechildrenmorevisibleinyourcongregation
ReprintedwithpermissionforeducationaluseonlyfromtheworkshopFormingFaithatHomewith
ChildrenbyJoleneRoehlkepartain.
#1:RETHINKRELATIONSHIPSFaithpartners—linkinguponeadultwithoneyoungpersoninyourcongrega)on1. Greeteachother2. Seekeachotherout
3. Sayhello
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#2:DEVELOPRELATIONSHIPSBETWEENCHILDREN
Beinten)onalabout:1. Helpingkidslearneachother’snames
2. Crea)ngwaysforchildrentointeractwitheachother
Making Faith ActThese four books highlight scripture-based games that you can play with c
lessons and programs. They’re easy and ready to use.Help childrenget to knoweach other—even whenthey live in different communities.Many children resist coming to programs and
events because they simply don’t know the other
children. Playing getting-to-know-you games and
community-building games from 101 Games That
Keep Kids Coming by Jolene Roehlkepartain can
keep kids engaged and form strong friendships
between children. Published by Nashville-based
Abingdon Press. Available through Amazon.
Even as babies are beginning
are learning to speak, and pres
ing to cooperate with playmate
to discover God’s Word and Go
play. 101 Great Games for Infan
Preschoolers by Jolene Roehlke
fun ways for children to discover
lished by Abingdon. Available thro
The best-selling bookthat startedthis four-bookseries.
101 Great Games for Kids bring scripture to life
through active games that get kids ages 3 to 12
up and moving rather than sitting in their chairs.
Written by Jolene Roehlkepartain, this book
makes it easy for professionals and lay leaders to
use a quick idea when creating lesson plans.
Published by Nashville-based Abingdon Press.
Available through Amazon.
After Great for Kidout, reaasked fmore.
101 More Great Games for Kids features
easy-to-use activities. Written by Jolene
Roehlkepartain, it is divided into four sect
activities for ages 3-5 years, grades K-3, g
4-6, and groups of mixed-age children. The
scripture and topical indices included. Publ
by Nashville-based Abingdon Press. Availab
through Amazon.
#3:FOCUSONRELATIONSHIPSBETWEENCHILDRENANDADULTLEADERSBeinten)onalabout:1. Encouragingadultleaderstosmile,greet,andbewarmaschildrenarrive
2. Helpingchildrenandadultleaderslearneachother’snames
3. Crea)ngwaysforchildrenandadultleaderstogettoknoweachother
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#4:FORMRELATIONSHIPSWITHANDBETWEENPARENTSBeinten)onalabout:1. Geqngtoknowparents2. Helpingparentslearneachother’snames3. Crea)ngwaysforparentstogettoknoweachother
4. Encouragingrela)onshipstoformbetweenparents
#5:CONNECTVOLUNTEERSTOEACHOTHERBeinten)onalabout:1. Helpingvolunteerslearneachother’snames2. Crea)ngwaysforvolunteerstomentoreachother(yourveteranvolunteerscanmentoryournewvolunteers)
3. Developingwaysforvolunteerstogettoknoweachother
4. Encouragingrela)onshipstoformbetweenvolunteers
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#6:CREATEWAYSFORFAMILIESTOBETOGETHER
Beinten)onalabout:1. Familyvolunteerac)vi)es
2. Familyfunac)vi)es
3. Familyfaithac)vi)es
Volunteer ActivitiMake it easy for children and also families to volunteer together with the re
projects in these two books.
Easy serviceprojects thatfamilies can dowith their children andteens.Find 101 easy, meaningful service projects for
families to do together. Doing Good Together by
Jolene Roehlkepartain and Jenny Friedman also
includes a CD-ROM with ready-to-use handouts,
helpful organizations, and recommended
resources. Published by Free Spirit Publishing,
Minneapolis. Available at DoingGoodTogether.org.
c
Teaching Kids to Care and Sh Roehlkepartain includes 300 i activities for 3- to 5-year-olds, and 10- to 12-year-olds. The bo ready-to-use reproducible page index. Published by Abingdon P Available on Amazon.com.
The best-selling bookthat givesquick ideaswhen kids getbored.These quick activities settle kids down so you
can focus everyone back on your lesson. You get
fidget busters for preschoolers, kindergartners to
third-graders, fourth- to sixth-graders and chil-
dren of all ages. Fidget Busters was written by
Jolene Roehlkepartain and was published by
Group Publishing. Available through a free PDF.
101 id what to of your when ki the wigg
Be ready when the wiggles invade your cl
room. Activities require little or no prepara
burn up kids' excess energy, and keep you
control of your classroom. Wiggle Tamers b
Jolene Roehlkepartain was published by G
Publishing in Loveland, Colorado, and is no
available through a free PDF.
Dealing with the UnexpecWhat do you do when chaos erupts—or kids get bored? These books are full of ideas.
#7:MAKECHILDRENMOREVISIBLEINYOURCONGREGATION
Beinten)onalabout:1. Worship2. Yourcongrega)onalnewsle@er/website/bulle)n
3. Bulle)nboards4. Visibleac)vi)es
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PROVIDEEASY,SIMPLEWAYSFORPARENTSTOBECOMEBETTERPARENTS
u Lookforhelpfulwebsites,suchastheGo@manIns)tuteonFacebook.TheGo@manIns)tutehasparen)ng)ps,marriage)ps,andother)ps.
u Offerhelpful,easy)psthatparentscantakewiththem.
ENCOURAGINGPARENTSTOBUILDFAITHATHOMEu Offeroccasionalclasses(orexperiences)onsimplefaithprac)cestodoathome.Dodemonstra)ons.
u Acknowledgethediscomfortandthebarrierssothatparentsdon’tfeelaloneanduneasyaboutthis.
u Sendhomeone-pageideastodoathome.Includesimple,easy-to-useprac)ces.Seethewebsite:VibrantFaithatHome(www.VibrantFaithAtHome.org)
u Consideraone-)meseasonalfamilyclass,suchasduringAdventorLent,thatgivessimplefaithprac)cestodoathome.
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FORMINGFAITHATHOMEWITHCHILDREN
Empoweringfamiliestoliveintothefaithtogether
