Experience in India

Q : So, do you guys have electricity in India?

A: Of course. We generate electricity by making an elephant run around a field by setting fire to its tail.

Q : Do you have cars in India?

A: No. We only use cows and elephants.

Q : Will I be able to see elephants in the street?

A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in India? Can you send me a list of them in Delhi, Chennai, Calcutta and Bangalore?

A: What did your last slave die of?

Q Do you have enough food in your country?

A: No. But when we get hungry, we eat the cows and the elephants.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into India?

A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Do you have perfume in India?

A: No, WE don't stink.

Q I hear that you actually have snake charmers with poisonous snakes roaming the cities.

A: Oh yes, I was a snake charmer once. In fact, I have one in my bag right now.

Q Do people have enough clothes to wear?

A: Sure. Everybody wears exclusive Calvin Klein underwear, Its keeps us cool.

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in India?

A: Only at Christmas

Q Do you actually burn widows right after her husband's death?

A: Yup. We burn them whenever we want.

Q Can women vote in India?

A: No. We just burn them.

Q Do you have enough fuel in India?

A: I just told you about the women, didn't I?!!

Q Do you have "arranged" marriages in India?

A: Of course. We do like to organize things, you know...

Q: Do you have Toilet paper?

A: No, we use sand paper.