Excuses, Qualtiy Response and Pre-Close-1 - phiredup

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Excuses, Quality Responses & Pre-Close

Helping Fraternities and Sororities Grow.

Excuses, Excuses

Top Excuses for Not Joining a Sorority

1. I can’t afford it. 2. My mom/dad/boyfriend doesn’t want me to join. 3. I have to focus on my studies. 4. Upperclassmen don’t join sororities. 5. I don’t want to live in the sorority house. 6. I don’t want to be a stereotypical sorority girl. 7. I don’t have time. 8. I don’t want to buy my friends. 9. I don’t want to be hazed. 10. I don’t drink. 11. I don’t like girls. (I’m not a girly sorority girl.)

Typically, we as sorority women respond in one of two ways when we hear excuses or concerns about why people don’t want to join: we get defensive or we blow it off. Instead, here are two great ways to deal with excuses and concerns:

1. Feel – Felt – Found 2. Quality Responses

Before we share those with you, there are some common mistakes we make when we deal with excuses and concerns:

No No’s

• Lying or half-truths: Don’t ever lie to a potential member or even tell a partial lie. Omitting important pieces of information is lying. Be upfront about everything.

• Dismissing: If it is a valid concern to the potential member, it’s a valid concern. Don’t blow it off or suggest that it’s not an issue. Respond like it’s a big deal, because to her, it is.

• Failure to listen: Make sure you are listening to what she is saying. Sometimes people mask their real reason behind something else. Make sure you understand her concerns and respond in the best way you can.




Feel – Felt – Found Use your personal experience to respond to a potential member’s concern if you have experienced something similar to how she is feeling. Avoid giving her your autobiography. Keep it short and sweet, skip the gory details. Feel – Felt – Found sounds something like this:

“I understand how you feel... I felt the same way… Here’s what I found...”

Quality Responses The majority of the time when you hear an excuse or concern, it is not because the potential member is blowing you off. It is usually because she doesn’t have all the information she needs to make a good decision about whether or not to join. Your job is to give her good information so that she can make a good decision, not convince her to make a bad one or the wrong one. You have no control over whether a young woman joins your sorority or not. The only thing you can control is how you treat her and the information you give her.

Quality Responses are a series of questions, followed up by information-giving to help a potential member get all the information she needs to make a decision in a genuine, non-threatening way. On the following pages you will find some lead-off questions to give a Quality Response to the top concerns sorority women hear most.




Quality Response Guide 1. I can’t afford it. a. Do you know how much it really costs?

b. Could I show you exactly how much it costs and how that compares to other college expenses?

c. Could I share with you the financial assistance options we have for our members?

2. My mom, dad, or boyfriend doesn’t want me to join.

a. What is it that they don’t approve of? b. What concerns do they have about you joining? c. Why do you think they feel that way? d. What information can I give you so that you can better explain our sorority to them?

3. I’ve got to focus on my studies.

a. What are your concerns about your academics? b. Did you know the chapter has minimum standards for maintaining membership? c. Could I tell you about some of the things we have in place to support the academic

success of our members? d. May I introduce you to our scholarship chairwoman?

4. Upperclassman don’t join sororities.

a. What is it that you like about our sorority? b. What concerns do you have about joining as an upperclassman? c. This is a lifelong membership. Could I tell you about some of the opportunities you would

have after college?

5. I don’t want to live in a sorority house.

a. What is it that makes you not want to live in the house? b. Could I show you our policies regarding living in the house? c. What concerns do you have about living in the house? d. Could I introduce you to some members who do live in the house so they can share their

experiences with you?

6. I don’t want to be a “stereotypical sorority girl.”

a. What stereotypes come to mind or what have you heard about sororities? b. What makes you think you would be a stereotype? c. Do you think that accurately describes me or any of the other sisters you have met from

our sorority?

7. I don’t have time. a. What other time commitments do you currently have? b. How much time are you willing to commit? c. Could I talk to you about what the time commitments are? d. Could I introduce you to [name]? She works part-time, plays a sport and maintains a 3.5

GPA.

8. I’ve got my friends already.

a. Help me understand what you mean by that. b. Are any of them interested in joining a sorority with you? c. Would you like to bring them to our next event so that they can meet our sisters?

9. I don’t want to buy my friends.

a. Are there other organizations that you belong to that have membership fees? b. Could I explain to you what our membership fees go toward? c. Help me understand why you consider it “buying” your friends.

10. I don’t want to be hazed.

a. Hazing is unacceptable and strictly forbidden in our sorority. b. Could I introduce you to our newest initiates? Feel free to ask them any details about their

new member period. c. Here is our new member education program outlining everything we do.

11. I don’t drink. a. Do you think you have to drink to be in a sorority? b. Could I tell you about the non-alcoholic events that we host? c. Are you aware that our new member program is alcohol-free?

12. I don’t like girls. a. Help me understand what you mean by that. b. Could I tell you about my experience in a group of all women? c. What concerns do you have about being in an all-women’s group?




Sealing the Deal: The Pre-Close The way to 100% bid acceptance.

Pre-Close Question

If we were to extend you a bid for membership,

what would you say?

Clarify

What is it that is keeping you from saying yes?

Empathize

I understand your concern.

Isolate

Is ____ the only concern holding you back from potentially accepting a bid?

Quality Response

Use your Quality Response Guide (above) to respond to concerns.

Pre-Close Question

IF we were to extend you a bid for membership, now do you feel like you could say yes?

If Yes

Interesting. Do you mind if I share that with the sisters?

Concerns

Time Money Parents Boyfriend Stereotypes Grades House Alcohol Upperclassmen Hazing Friends Later

Additional Concerns

Time Money Parents Boyfriend Stereotypes Grades House Alcohol Upperclassmen Hazing Friends Later

If No

I understand. There is a lot to consider. Maybe the best thing is to give you an

opportunity to meet a few more members. I’ll see you Monday night for volleyball. Don’t forget to bring your roommate.

No/Maybe

Yes No/Maybe

Yes

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Excuses, Qualtiy Response and Pre-Close-1 - phiredup