1

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Symptoms of AD

♦Poor peer relationships ♦Poor eye contact ♦Lack of cause and effect thinking ♦Absence of guilt, no remorse ♦Chronic, nonsensical lying

♦Self-injurious behavior ♦Vandalism and destructiveness ♦Cruelty to animals and/or children ♦Stealing/hoarding food ♦Indiscriminate affection towards strangers ♦Refusal to answer simple questions ♦Provoking of anger in others on an almost

continual basis ♦Theft ♦Firesetting ♦Theatrical emotions ♦Denial of accountability, always blaming others

♦Learning disorders ♦Toileting issues ♦Lack of ability to give and receive affection

♦Preoccupation with blood, fire, or gore ♦Unusual speech patterns or problems —mumbles

SERVING CHILDREN AND FAMILIES AFFECTED BY ATTACHMENT DISORDER SEPT/OCT 1999

News from the KC Attachment Network

KC Attachment Network

Mission Statement

To recognize and promote healthy family attachments and

to increase awareness and understanding of the critical importance of attachment to human

development.

Notes from Nancy This issue is out a little later than normal, but it has been quite a busy time for our organiza-tion. In late September, we welcomed Nancy Thomas, therapeutic foster mom, to our area for an awesome 2-day workshop. Nancy's methods are tried-and-true, and her commit-ment to children shines through in every word out of her mouth. Immediately after Nancy's workshop, I trav-eled to Alexandria, Virginia for the ATTACh conference. Sally Popper, a member of KCAN's Board of Directors, was also in atten-dance. I was in the Washington, DC area for an entire week, first to attend the ATTACh Board of Director's meeting, and then to lobby Capitol Hill for changes in the child welfare system. My last 3 days there were filled by listening to some outstanding speakers, including Robin Karr-Morse, author of Ghosts From the Nursery: Tracing the Roots of Violence, and Richard Rhodes, author of Why They Kill. Francine Cournos, a psychiatrist, spoke about her childhood experiences of losing both her parents by the age of 11, and subsequently

S.O.S. By Barb Holtan, Tressler Lutheran Services, Pennsylvania

Back in February of 1994, we began receiving calls from families we did not know, in states outside of our service area, asking us if we could find another family for the child they had adopted and brought home from Eastern Europe. “We just can’t continue,” they would say sadly, “We’ve heard that TLS finds good families for Special kids. Can you do that for our son (or daughter)?” We didn’t think much about this (other than to grieve with these disrupting parents and see how we could help) until the calls kept coming and coming. We started charting these calls and started asking colleagues around the country:

What’s happening? Why all these disruption calls? And—why are they calling us—strangers to them—why aren’t they calling their own agencies? We’ve sure learned a lot about this sad phenomenon since that first contact back in 1994. I wanted to take the opportunity here to update you at this, the five-year point. I would like to tell you that this was a brief flash in the pan and it has stopped. It hasn’t. The calls continue to come. As of March 31, 1999:

(Continued on page 2)

entering foster care. Her memoir, A City of One, offers an insider's look into the grief experienced by many of our children. I always thoroughly enjoy connecting with many dedicated folks in the attachment field, and I never fail to leave this conference without a renewed appreciation and awareness of the depth of pain carried by our kids throughout their lives. I was fortunate to be able to meet Curtis Graves, PhD, an adult adoptee in his late 50's. Although Curtis is a well-adjusted, suc-cessful man who is delightful to be around, he

(Continued on page 2)

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Learning Disabilities, possible Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, etc. etc. I have become rather tedious on this subject, I know. I have exclaimed about it to colleagues in other agencies, talked about it at Joint Council meetings, consulted with Attachment therapists (“Are you seeing lots of kids adopted from East-ern Europe?”) Many international agency peo-ple would like me to clam up and stop already about this subject. Believe me, I’d like to. But then the next call comes from Massachusetts or Illinois or Texas and the story is the same and we try as best we can to help another devastated family. As long as there are adoptions, there will be disruptions. We hate this but we accept it as truth. However, the numbers of disruptions of Eastern European born children are too high—way out of line. Yes, I know that Russia is send-ing thousands of children to the US for adoption and statistically speaking, 50 kids (see above) is tiny. Yes, I know that the only numbers avail-able are those TLS has been keeping and these comprise a count which is necessarily skewed. No one calls me from Idaho to tell me how GREAT their child is doing. Still—there’s too much of it. Kids have been coming for adoption for over 40 years from other countries. Ask anyone who has been around during that time working in this field. If they are being honest, they will attest to the fact that we as a profes-sion have never seen this number of kids with such severe problems all coming from one part of the world resulting in their adoptive families seeking to disrupt the adoption.

(Continued on page 3)

We believe that a child’s experiences and environment from the

time of conception until 2-3 years of age

establishes the child’s frame of reference for all future interactions

and relationships.

** Pre-natal factors that affect attachment

include: denial of pregnancy,

dislike for the father of the child, substance abuse,

inadequate diet and/or poor self-care, resentment, prematurity

risk factors, and variable family support.

** Post-natal factors

include: lack of parenting skills, various

caregivers, ongoing substance abuse,

“mechanical parenting,” neglectful/abusive parental reactions,

prematurity factors, and undetected or unrelieved

pain in the child.

We provide training on

the recognition of Reactive Attachment Disorder and suggest

resources and interventions to parents

and professionals.

We provide support and alternative parenting

methods for the beleaguered parents of

these children.

• Total number of Eastern European-born children, adopted into the US, whom we have been asked to replace: 78

That comes out to be 78 in 61 months—more than one request a month, steadily for five years. • Child’s Average age when placed with the

family: 5.2 years old • Child’s Average age when the family called

TLS: 7.0 years old (These are averages—youngest child we were asked to replace was 8 months old, eldest child was 15 years old) • About even on gender: 38 girls; 40 boys • Number of US states the families have

called from: 27 • Countries of origin of the children: Bulgaria 1 Estonia 3 Georgia 4 Lithuania 1 Moldavia 1 Poland 2 Romania 14 Russia 50 Ukraine 2 The families who call are sad, angry, scared, disappointed. The behaviors of the children have brought them to their knees. The behaviors they each describe are all so similar and pretty much can be found on the checklists for Reac-tive Attachment Disorder. Nowadays, by the time the families get to us, they have already had the child tested and evaluated and the parent rattles off to us over the phone the many diag-noses the child has: Attention Deficit Disorder, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Hyperactivity,

SOS (Cont. from page 1)

Notes, cont shared with me his ongoing losses around adoption. His statement that he will "not live long enough to shed all the tears he needs to shed over losing his birthmother" clarifies for me the life-long impact of adoption on all members of the triad. After such a long and busy week, I certainly was glad to get home and spend time with my own family. My husband continues to spend many days in Chicago, and we are moving for-ward, albeit slowly, with our plans to relocate to Gurnee, Illinois by next summer. Addition-ally, plans are still in effect to merge KCAN with Gail Trenberth's organization, the Attach-ment Disorder Parent's Network. After this issue, we will henceforth be known as the

Notes from Nancy (Cont. from page 1) Attachment Disorder Network and the newslet-ter's name will change to Hoofbeats. Gail and I look forward to providing you with an even more informative newsletter with two editors instead of just one! Our website continues to grow, and currently has pictures from the ATTACh conference on the What's Happening page. If you have specific ideas about what you would like to see on the website, please let us know. The two articles in this issue written by Barb Holtan appeared in her agency's newsletter. I was so in agreement with both articles, I could-n't wait to publish them in our newsletter. The

(Continued on page 6)

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An adoption colleague recently passed along to me a copy of an article from a newspaper in Florida. It was one of those human interest, heart-warming pieces about a nice couple that had adopted two children after much struggle. We gener-ally like those kinds of articles because they present adoption in a positive light as opposed to the “adoptee ax-murderer” pieces. Unbeknownst to the Florida reporter and I am sure to the new adoptive family, the article also laid out in startling detail so much of what our profession is doing WRONG right now. The layperson wouldn’t pick up on any of this but we who work in the field sure do. The piece opens stating “Love can move mountains” and goes on to say that this nice couple adopted two young brothers ages 3 and 6 from Russia. They were motivated to do this, we are told, as a result of “the accidental deaths of their two children, combined with a strong desire to give of themselves.” The Mom in me grieves for the parents who sus-tained the worst blow: death of a child—in this case, two. The Social worker in me wonders how long ago that occurred. The wife is a citrus packinghouse super-visor and the husband is a truck driver and welder. The article states that all told, they spent $37,000 on these adoptions. Unless salaries are real different in Florida, I think we can presume this couple did not have this kind of money at their fingertips. We are told, “the couple mortgaged their house and sold their prize motorcycle.” They also “tapped other resources.” From what I have seen, those “other resources” are usually bank loans, donations from church communi-ties and loans/gifts from family members. So Nice Couple is now up to their eye-balls in debt and this before they even are faced with the ‘start up costs’ that the addition of one child, no less two, brings. They have also unwittingly created ‘expectations’ out there among friends and neighbors. This becomes a group effort, as it were. I remember a call we

At the risk of being still more tedious, I will again offer for consideration the following things we at TLS believe in and practice and advocate for all adop-tions. This is how to lessen the number of disruptions. Our 27-year-old program placing only Special kids is living proof of this: • Solid, Realistic, Educational pre-

adoption Family Preparation (and no, this can’t be achieved in a week-end or a couple of hours) comprised of lots of information, hard questions and a practice of parent SELF-ASSESSMENT as opposed to agency investigation of parents.

• Meticulous review of background information on the child by the fam-ily and the agency worker—asking questions, pointing out red flags

• Supportive and nurturing post-placement services by the agency which did the Home Study

• Ongoing post-finalization services as needed over time over the life of the

family, i.e.—the agency responds whenever and for whatever is needed.

EVERY child coming from an orphanage is a Special

Needs child - whether s/he is one month old or twelve years old. The sooner placing agencies start leveling with inter-ested families about this

fact and prepare families for this, the more likely it will be that TLS will experience a decline in the numbers of disruption calls coming our way.

(Continued from page 2) had a few months ago from a Dad in Texas who was seeking to have us re-place the two Eastern European children he and his wife had adopted. The Dad cried on the phone. He said, “Our whole church contributed to this. How will we now tell them that it’s not working out?” Nice Couple had found the two brothers on the Internet. There is no mention of what written information was given to the couple by the agency on the background, health status, emotional well-being, etc. of the boys. Let’s presume (and pray) it was accurate and comprehensive. There is a whole paragraph on what Nice Cou-ple had to do to get the kids: “Then came

a mountain of paperwork. The adoption agency needed information. So did the state. The Florida Department of

Law Enforcement was involved. So was the

FBI which ran background checks.” It goes on: “They were fingerprinted. They were required to have wills drawn up and take out major medical insurance. The Russian government insisted on having a photo of every room of their house.” There is no mention of any parent prepa-ration or education given by the agency to the Nice Couple. Now we know that that type of information is boring to jour-nalists—love moving mountains and mountains of information has much more pizzazz. So, let’s presume (and pray) that the couple was given education and preparation. Otherwise, all this is about the GETTING and not the RAISING of the children. Nice Couple completed all the paper-work, we are told, in early May and were told there would be two months before they would travel. How surprised they were “to learn that they were due in court [in Russia] on May 25.” The wife is quoted as saying, “We had only five days to get visas, airline reservations, clothing for the children, toys, everything—and then make the trip.” Not to harp on money but this of course means they had to pay top dollar for those airline tickets since they now had to be purchased in an urgent way. Undoubtedly exhausted from all the

(Continued on page 4)

A NICE COUPLE By Barb Holtan, Tressler

Lutheran Services, Pennsylvania

Quote from the mom of a child with RAD…

“It’s like Carly Simon sings…

‘I haven’t got time for the pain!’”

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I sincerely hope Nice Couple does well with the boys. The newspaper article said that the kids were enrolled in summer camp and that the older boy can read and write in Russian. (Sorry, but I wondered how any one knew that for sure? Does the Couple speak or read Russian them-selves?) I pray that these boys will be accessible to be loved and to love back. I hope that Nice Couple will NOT call our agency some months hence, in tears, asking us to replace the boys. Part of me really does believe that love can move mountains but along with that love there needs to be flinty-eyed, hard edged rational thinking. I worry that in the rush to GET the kids, Nice Couple never had a chance to do the latter. I also worry about the incredible expecta-tions that are now in play. It’s one thing to be writing out checks each month for months and months on loans you took out to achieve an adoption which is going well—in which the child is giving you joy immeasurable. It’s quite another to do that along with coping with post-institutionalized children whose behavior tells you: you are nothing to me. Just TRY to make me love you or need you. It’s also heartbreaking to keep up a brave front to the church folks and relatives who contributed to the cause if a day comes when you not only regret your decision to adopt but have come to dislike and perhaps fear the child. Like I said, I hope none of this comes to pass for Nice Couple. I believe that their motivations were good and pure. I do wonder, however, how good and pure the motivations of the agency folks were?

From the internet, author unknown... I just realized that while children are dogs —loyal and affectionate—teenagers are cats. It’s so easy to be a dog owner. You feed it, train it, boss it around. It puts its head on your knee and gazes at you as if you were a Rembrandt painting. It bounds indoors with enthusiasm when you call it. Then around age 13, your adoring little puppy turns into a big old cat. When you tell it to come inside, it looks amazed, as if wondering who died and made you emperor. Instead of dogging your doorsteps, it disappears. You won’t see it again until it gets hungry—then it pauses on its sprint through the kitchen long enough to turn its nose up at what-ever you’re serving. When you reach out to ruffle its head in that old affectionate gesture, it twists away from you, then gives you a blank stare, as if trying to remember where it has seen you before. You, not realizing that the dog is now a cat, think something must be desper-ately wrong with it. It seems so antiso-cial, so distant, sort of depressed. It won’t go on family outings. Since you’re the one who raised it, taught it to fetch and stay and sit on command, you assume that you did something wrong. Flooded with guilt and fear, you redou-ble your efforts to make your pet behave. Only now you’re dealing with a cat, so everything that worked before now produces the opposite of the desired result. Call it, and it runs away. Tell it to sit, and it jumps on the counter. The more you go toward it, wringing your hands, the more it moves away. Instead of continuing to act like a dog owner, you can learn to behave like a cat owner. Put a dish of food near the door, and let it come to you. But remember that a cat needs your help and your affec-tion too. Sit still, and it will come, seek-ing that warm, comforting lap it has not entirely forgotten. Be there to open the door for it. One day your grown-up child will walk into the kitchen, give you a big hug and say, “You’ve been on your feet all day. Let me get those dishes for you.” Then you’ll realize your cat is a dog again.

running around they did to achieve these tasks in five days, they arrive in Russia. “With only a few hours to sleep, the couple were awakened at midnight for a six-hour car ride to the orphanage…They arrived just before breakfast” and met the boys briefly. They were then whisked off to court. After the adoption was com-pleted, they returned to the orphanage to pick up their new sons. Four days later, the couple flew home to the USA. As I read this, I kept flashing on the old black and white films portraying brain-washing or prisoners of war on whom sleep deprivation is used as a way to con-fuse and break the spirit. Cults do this, too. After awhile, one is unable to make good decisions. And yet, here is Nice Couple about to make possibly the most important decision of their lives and they are, we presume, dragging before they even arrive in Russia and then are awak-ened at midnight, etc. Is this wise? Is this NECESSARY? Who is looking out for the interests of Nice Couple? My husband and I bought a new car recently. As we stepped into the show-room, a salesman honed in on us like a heat-seeking missile. He was talking his talk from across the showroom. As soon as he was close enough for me to read his name tag, I engaged him in eye contact, called him by his first name, and laid down the rules—my rules: “Harold, we may or may not end up buying a car from you but if you keep up the patter and hard sell, we definitely WON’T.” He smiled a bit nervously. He started to back-peddle a bit; he tried but kept falling back into the pattern. Every time he did, I reminded him of the rules. This may sound rude of me and I know my husband was sort of flinching but too bad. I was the customer after all. It really feels sometimes that we adop-tion workers have taken on the tactics of car salesmen or worse, cultists or terror-ists. We push and rush families: You must decide by tomorrow at 9:00 A.M. You must be on a plane in five days. You must be in court in a foreign land and sign your life away when you are so tired you can hardly see straight.

Nice Couple (Cont. from page 3) Dogs, Cats and Kids. . . Check out our website!

www.radzebra.org • Pictures of ATTACh conference • Meeting information • Newsletter order forms • Articles and Poems • Symptom list • Ways you can

help our organization

• Links

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I received the following piece from Laurie Anderson, a MOM who is also Executive Director of the newly incorpo-rated THE ATTACHMENT NETWORK OF GEORGIA, INC. and dog lover par excellence! Not only did I enjoy the ex-cerpts from Ms. Knapps’ book, but I appreciated the references to articles written at Purdue University, where I received my veterinary degree. I put this together after reading PACK OF TWO: The Intricate Bond Between People and Dogs by Caroline Knapp, 1998, and in light of the "paranoia" about the thought that physically touching a child during attachment and bonding ther-apy is what makes the process so suspect in the minds of rigid, one-box thinkers. This book spoke so much of attachment, both between humans and their dogs, but also how the dogs helped the inner person discovery process and the person-to-person connection. I know I am an abash-edly real DOG LOVER and true DOG PERSON, but in the process of reading this delightful book, I was struck by how much we lose person to person, just be-cause ALL touch gets confused with touch which is sexualized, predatory or perverse, instead of another means of communicating warmth, caring, concern and love. Children who have never ex-perienced appropriate loving touch need to experience such to heal from the severe abuse and neglect they have received in-stead. The skin is the largest organ of the body and without touch both humans and our primate relatives do not thrive. (See the classic work by Ashley Montagu, TOUCHING: The Human Significance of the Skin, 2nd ed., 1978). Our society uses touch to communicate caring, nurturing, concern, love...AND abuse. When we do not allow the touching of children as part of the therapeutic array, we only reinforce their belief and experience that all touch is sexual, perverse, or predatory. ". . . Our own culture is so dubious and suspect about touch, so rule-bound and withholding. . . ." (p .213) ". . . leading the researchers to conclude that dogs may have a particularly power-ful role for men, especially those who

tend to confuse touch with sexual over-tures or possessiveness: "A pet may be the only being that a man, trained in the macho code, can touch with affection." [Beck, A. & Katcher, A., BETWEEN PETS AND PEOPLE: The Importance of Animal Companionship , Purdue University Press, revised edition, 1996. pp.213-14] "Alan Beck and Aaron Katcher suggest that the component of touch—our ability to touch dogs and their ability to touch us—gives the relationship between human and dog a quality of therapeutic intimacy, one that's both like and unlike the kind you might find with a traditional therapist. "A Rogerian analyst," they write, referring to the nondirective ap-proach first advanced by psychiatrist Carl Rogers, "is not unlike a Labrador retriever." Indeed, the parallels between analytical and canine behavior are strik-ing. Like an analyst, a Lab will not guide your conversation. He will not offer opinions or criticisms or tell you what to do; instead, he will be attentive but silent, observing you with an empathetic gaze. Author Jerome K. Jerome put it slightly differently: "Dogs," he wrote, "never talk about themselves but listen to you while you talk about yourself, and keep up an appearance of being interested in the conversation." The big difference be-tween dogs and therapists, of course, is that the dog can jump up and lick you, nuzzle you with his snout, let you kiss and hug him anytime the impulse strikes. "The difficult art in therapy," write Beck and Katcher, "is achieving a mutual feel-ing of intimacy without touching. With a dog, this is a piece of cake." (p.214) ". . . the dog offers a kind of corrective emotional experience, allows us to both give and receive what we haven't gotten in human relationships. Sometimes dogs are the mothers we always wanted, some-times they are the children we never quite got to be, often they are both." (p.221) ". . . the one being in the household she felt free to touch." (p.234) ". . .Psychologists at the University of Oklahoma have found that people with

affectionate attitudes toward their dogs have proportionately affectionate attitudes toward people." [Brown, L.T., Shaw, T.G., & Kirkland, K.D., Affection for people as a function of affection for dogs, PSYCHOLOGICAL REPORTS, Vol. 31, 1972, p. 867-75.] (p.177) "And yet for all these same reasons—because they're just THERE, so present and available and uncomplaining—dogs can also be lightning rods for trouble, as easy to act out on as they are to love. Trainers see this happen all the time: they see the youngest kid in a family—lowest on the family totem pole—who gets picked on by siblings and responds by turning around and picking on the dog; they see parents acting out disagreements over discipline with the dog, mothers who want to coddle and indulge the dog, fathers who want to beat him across the snout with a newspaper. In the dog him-self they invariably see little mirrors of family style—walk into a loud, disorgan-ized household where the TV's blaring and the kids are running wild, and chances are you'll find an undisciplined and unsettled dog, a four-legged reflec-tion of familial chaos." (pp.164-65) ". . .A recent study from Purdue Univer-sity found that people who hadn't taken their dogs to obedience classes were about three and a half times more likely to surrender the animal to a shelter than owners who had: training, not surpris-ingly, creates both a better-behaved dog and a closer bond between dog and human." [Owner education could save unwanted pets, Purdue News Service (August 9,1996). pp. 83-4]

Let's hear it for those basic German Shepherd commands!

PACK OF TWO: The Intricate Bond Between People and Dogs By Caroline Knapp

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Nancy Thomas recently spent two days in Leawood, Kansas, teaching parents and professionals her successful methods for helping children with attachment disorder. Not only is she a wealth of knowledge, but she is a delightful speaker as well, entertaining us with stories and some amazing facial expressions!

little story about dogs is also in complete agreement with my sentiments. Well be-fore I knew anything about RAD, I was a practicing veterinarian. I quickly realized that when the kids were bouncing off the walls of the exam room and playing in the "poop can", the dogs were unruly and difficult to manage, and the "heads of household" were impotent… When the kids sat quietly on the bench, the dogs sat quietly on the table and were easy to ex-amine, and the folks in charge were really in charge. I am also an admitted nutcase over my dogs, and I make no apologies for it! My day doesn't start until I fall to the floor and love up the Rottweiler who snores and toots next to me all night... Her adoration shores me up for the challenges ahead. As we head into the difficult Holiday season, my thoughts and prayers will be with all of you parents. Let me close by sharing with you one of the many tidbits of incredible information provided by Nancy Thomas…At her home, kids who invest nothing in the spirit of giving to others are not allowed to participate in the Christmas gift exchange. While I suspect some of you may be gasping in dismay, others of you are feeling as if a huge burden of resentment just fell from your shoulders. We all know that Christ-mas is NOT about material things, so why should it be any big deal if a kid

doesn't make a huge haul? In the real world, folks don't shower you with gifts when you do nothing reciprocal to earn them,

either emotionally or materialistically. I suggest you all begin

to think about how you want to handle Christmas giving this year. My husband and I have already informed our nearly 12-year-old daughter that either she puts out some effort this year (and what a change THAT would be), or she can expect to receive few gifts in return. The other kids have been giving awesome gifts to her for years. She knows, without question, that our love is hers forever. It is time she invested a little in us. Have a wonderful Halloween and Thanksgiving! Watch for Hoofbeats in December.

Notes (Cont. from page 2)

A TURTLE STORY Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree. After

hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the

ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground.

The turtle tried again and again

while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts. Finally, the female bird turned to

her mate. "Dear," she chirped, "I think it's time to tell him he's adopted."

Do you know of a child who needs an

assessment for Attachment Disorder?

Liz Randolph, developer of the RADQ, will be in the KC Metro area Nov. 5-8 for the purpose of assessing kids. She charges $400 per assessment, payable at the time of the evaluation, and she does not accept Medicaid. She may return to our area in early December and might be available for additional assessments at that time. Call KCAN for more info.

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Nancy Spoolstra 6500 W. 183rd St. Stilwell, KS 66085

Phone 913-897-1900 FAX 913-897-4477

saanda@aol.com www.radzebra.org

Kathy Ryan

10219 Howe Lane Leawood, KS 66206

913-381-9026 lryan@qni.com

Sally Popper

6908 Valley Road

Calendar of Events

Monthly meetings are held at 7:00 PM

the first Wednesday of every month at the

Gillis Home for Boys, 8150 Wornall Road,

KCMO

Our next meeting will be Nov 3, 1999.

We will view a 25 minute videotape

entitled GREAT EXPECTATIONS, The

Case for Post-Adoption Services

Our December 1st meeting will be our

annual pitch-in Christmas party.

Bring an appetizer to share and join us for

fun and fellowship!

Recommendations for Retention and Support from the Nat’l Foster Parent Association (compiled by Debbie Dunlap, awesome foster mom)

Recommended by task force discussion as the most important ways to recruit and retain foster parents… 1. Place children with foster parents on the basis of a match between the assessed needs of

the children and the assessed competencies, qualification and supports of the foster family

2. Provide a liaison with special expertise to work especially with foster parents. This will prevent child case managers from being expected to answer foster parent questions.

3. Provide mentors for new foster parents. Experienced foster parents are the best mentors. 4. Provide liability insurance to foster parents—this is especially needed with adolescents. 5. Create respite care opportunities for foster parents. 6. Create a grievances and appeals process. Parents must not fear retaliation

by taking away a child to whom they have grown attached. 7. Make sure foster parents are able to access appropriate physical and

mental health services for the children in their care. 8. Conduct exit meetings to learn why foster parents leave fostering. Foster

parents could effectively accomplish this task. 9. Provide competency-based pre-service and in-service training combined with a

process of mutual assessment. 10. Clarify the foster parent’s role in service delivery, with commensurate

responsibilities, qualifications and rights, and recognize the importance of the foster parent’s role to the agency and to the community.

11. Introduce new and experienced foster parents to other members of their professional team. Collaborate with foster parents as members of that professional team.

12. Involve foster parents in the development of agency policies, programs and practices that affect daily foster care.

13. Reimburse foster parents for the full cost of fostering. 14. Provide benefits commensurate with the foster parent’s competencies and

strengths. 15. Create opportunities to recognize foster parents’ accomplishments. 16. Establish policies, programs and practices for foster parent abuse allegation

prevention and intervention. 17. Provide foster parents with regular supervision, monitoring and consultation, as

well as immediate support for all members of their family, especially in times of crisis.

18. Provide foster parents with child day care services. 19. Provide foster parents with an ongoing assessment of strengths and needs—a

foster family development plan. 20. Recognize the significance of re-licensing and re-certification. 21. Provide foster parents with opportunities for professional development. 22. Provide foster parents with access to their own files. 23. Recognize the importance of the role of the family foster care social worker. 24. Encourage foster parents to participate in local and state foster parent

associations, such as the National Foster Parent Association.

NEWS FLASH!!

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_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

KC

Attachm

ent N

etwork

I would like a 1-year subscription to KC Connections ($15) I would like to order a packet and a one year subscription to KC Connections ($20). I would like to order __ packets ($8). Consider sending packets to: • a friend • Adoptive or foster parent • Pediatrician or family physician • School personnel • Law enforcement official • Counselor or therapist Please send your check or money order to: Kathy Ryan 10219 Howe Lane Leawood, KS 66206 913-381-9026

Order Form Please send packet(s) to the following address: _____________________________________ Name _____________________________________ Organization _____________________________________ Address _____________________________________ City, State, Zip _____________________________________ Phone Number _____________________________________ E-mail address

KC Attachment Network 6500 W. 183rd St. Stilwell, KS 66085

We have packets of information available to those interested in learning more about attachment issues and attachment disorder. Our packets contain numerous articles, references, and resources, as well as several past issues of our newsletter. They are a wonderful tool for educating teachers,

therapists, physicians, extended family, or anyone else in the life of a child with attachment disorder.