12
by Maria Santoferraro CLICK ON FULLSCREEN FOR BEST VIEW

Episode 4 - "Survivor" No Songs for Men

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No Songs For Men is an interactive online musical picture book for women! It’s "The Runaways" meets "Sex and the City" as we follow the music, friendship, and liaisons of the five incredible women who make up the alternative rock band sensation Code Cherry, as they compose the reasons why there really are no songs for men. Flip through the pages, enjoy the pictures, and be sure to click on all the interactive links for music, related stories, and great products from our sponsors. This web series will be brought to you every few weeks, so check back often. Sign up for our fan club at www.mariamedia.net and you'll receive notifications when each episode is live!

Citation preview

Page 1: Episode 4 - "Survivor" No Songs for Men

by Maria Santoferraro

C L I C K O N F U L L S C R E E N F O R B E S T V I E W

Question 1 Off the top of yourhead can you name a song that has amanrsquos name as the title

Answer If you did Irsquom impressedmdashbecause 922 of those surveyed did not

Question 2 Now if I ask you toname a song with a girlrsquos name as thetitle I bet you can come up with some-thing really quickhellip

Answer Veronica Jane MichelleAngie Layla Mariamdashthere are tons ofgreat songs named after women andIrsquom sure it was no problem for you tocome up with a few

Why is this Well I think most womenknow the reason We just never feel thatinspired to write a love song about a manMaybe at the beginning of a relationshipwersquoll pen a few verses but eventually mostmen will break our heart donrsquot put downthe toilet seat get love handles annoy thecrap out of us and then there goes the hitsong The only songs I can think of withmenrsquos names are really horrible like ldquoBadBad Leroy Brownrdquo or ldquoBenrdquo which by theway was about a rat

In the new web series No Songs for Menall of the female characters have thenames of popular rock songs from the 70rsquosand 80rsquos with a womanrsquos name as the titleBeth Amanda Jenny Sara and Bethrsquos sis-ter Christian These talented women areall members of the indie rock band sensa-tion Code Cherry

Itrsquos The Runaways meets Sex and the Cityas we follow the music sisterhood andliaisons of these five incredible women asthey compose the reasons why there reallyare no songs for men

what is

NO SONGS FOR MEN

1

Irsquom a Musicianand Irsquom aVegetarian

Paul McCartneyand Joan Jetthave two thingsin commonTheyrsquore bothgreat musiciansand vegetariansListen to Joanrsquosveggie testimonialand consider kicking the meat habit

Have you ever really thought about how important it is tohave your parentsrsquo approval If you think itrsquos not importantyoursquore fooling yourself I can still remember how special it feltwhen my dad finally made it to one of my track meets when Iwas in the ninth grade Or how pissed I was when my sisterrecorded over the VHS tapes of my piano and voice recitalseffectively robbing my parents of watching my early musicalgenius Itrsquos like a tiny voice buried deep into our subcon-scious at birth the need for parental approval speaks to usin just about every action we take Just last night that tinyvoice rang away in my ears Can I get away with wearing adress this low-cut My mother is going to have a cow whenshe sees me My parents are going to be blown away whenthey hear the new Code Cherry songs I wrote Holy crap Iwas totally smashed last night Good thing my parentswerenrsquot around to witness it Our parents get 18-plus yearsto pound all their principles and a lot of pork down ourthroats and we get the rest of our lives to process it Or ifyoursquore like Amanda and me you process it and become avegetarian

Irsquoll never forget the flagrant look of displeasure on myparentsrsquo faces when I came home from Vegas with thenews that I had married Cris To them he was a bad boyfrom my past come to plunder my love and pillage my gift-ed musical career They were right but at the time I had athing for bad boys Irsquove been trying to win back theirapproval and my music ever since and my announcementthat Code Cherry had made the bill of the Rock On Festwas the Holy Grail a surefire way to win back theirapproval I could care less that Cris didnrsquot show up (hewasnrsquot invited) but it was a huge kick in the gut when my

IF YOUrsquoRE OVER 30HERErsquoS THE OLD SCHOOLVERSION OF SURVIVOR

Irsquom a Actor andIrsquom a Vegetarian

AliciaSilverstonersquos Kind Diet ASimple Guide toFeeling GreatLosing Weightand Saving thePlanet

LISTENepisode 2

survivor

parents never showed up to hear us playlast night

The evening had turned into a hugecelebration with so many people

there to congratulate us andthe party ensued well

after we finished oursets I was so happy tosee Jenny and Christiankiss and make up thatto be honest it didnrsquot hit

me until late in theevening that my parents

were missing in action Whydidnrsquot they show up My mothercalled me at least three times a day forsome of the most inane reasons so it

was incomprehensible that she couldnrsquotfind the time to call and say they couldnrsquotmake it

Thinking with a somewhat sober headthis morning I woke up in a panic wor-ried about what could have happened tothem I looked outside at the cloudy skyhoping the clouds would disappear andeventually burn off into a beautifulSunday afternoon I still wanted to tell

my parents everything in person tosee their faces light up when they

heard the news so Igot out of bed show-ered and headed overto see them Along theway I made one quick

stop to pick up bagelsmdashmy fatherrsquos favorite andsomething I knewwould absorb the

remaining liquor in

2

my system I thought about callingChristian to come with but after twostraight nights of playing and partying Iknew she wouldnrsquot make it out of bed forhours

The stately homes on Merriman Roadwith their huge lawns and impeccablelandscaping passed before me on myway to my childhood home I used towonder about the people who lived inthese houses how lucky the kids must beto grow up in a mansion with maids todo the chores and a pony in the backyard Now I just wondered how hightheir heating bills must be every winter Iturned down our street and traveled afew blocks to where the yards got smallerand the houses became less vulgar dis-plays of wealth

At the kitchen table staring blankly ata pile of bills and her checkbook mymother Angie held court Her brownhair just starting to streak with beautifulgray highlights was pulled back into aponytail and her face and arms alreadyglowed with a summer tan She had on apair of old jeans a faded wrinkled CodeCherry T-shirt that looked like it had beenslept in and her eyes were puffy and dis-tant I loved the fact that my mom wasstill a cool hippie rock rsquonrsquo roller at heartand I reached across the table andhugged her

ldquoGood Morning Mom I broughtsome bagels Want me to put one in thetoaster for yourdquo I said

ldquoThanks sweetie but I donrsquot havemuch of an appetite todayrdquo my mothersaid

GET YOURCHERRY ON

MERCHANDISE nowAVAILABLE AT

SHOP CODE CHERRY3 3

I noticed that the smell of coffeethe Sunday newspaper littered acrossthe table and the floor my fatherburning the toastmdashall the signs of anormal Sunday morningmdashwereabsent ldquoDid they forget to deliver theSunday paper Is Dad chasing afterthe paper boy againrdquo I asked

ldquoNo thatrsquos not what your dad ischasingrdquo my mother said in a sarcas-tic tone almost under her breath

ldquoWhatrdquoldquoYou better sit down Beth Irsquove

got some news for yourdquoThe hair on the back of my neck

stood up and I slowly slumped downinto the chair across from my motherfeeling the warmth of the bagels pen-etrate from the brown paper bag allthe way through to the sinking feelingin my chest I didnrsquot know what newsmy mother was about to deliver butany animosity I held about my parentsmissing the CD-release party instantlyfaded ldquoMom what is it Yoursquore scar-ing the hell out of merdquo

ldquoIrsquom sorry we didnrsquot make therelease party last night but I was inno shape to come and your fatherwell he has no excusehelliphersquos just atotal bastardrdquo

ldquoMom donrsquot worry about notbeing there just tell me what hap-pened Why are you so pissed atDadrdquo

ldquoYour father came home from abusiness trip last night walked in thedoor sat me down and told me hersquosleavinghelliprdquo

4

My mother was speaking to me but Iwas not picking up what she was throw-ing down I just sat there dumbfoundedmouth open nonresponsive until she wasforced to provide more details

ldquoHe wants a divorce Crazy thingthough told me he still loves me buttherersquos nothing left between us anymoresays therersquos nothing left for himrdquo

I knew my father had been goingthrough some tough times recently Hewas always on the road traveling forwork burned out and struggling to payoff some debts ldquoBut Mom yoursquove beentogether for thirty-four years He canrsquot beserious This is just a temporary thinghersquoll come to his senses and come backrdquo

ldquoBeth please donrsquot be naiumlve with meYou know better than me what husbandsare capable of Hiding things behind yourback lying stealing breaking yourheartrdquo She started to cry and I realizedwhy she had that sadness in her eyesmdashshe had been crying probably since myfather had delivered this news last night

ldquoWherersquos Dad now I want to talk tohimrdquo I said as I dug out the tissues

from my purse for my momHer eyes turned steelyand I knew there mustbe more bad news apart of the story mymother had not hadthe courage to deliveryet I swallowed hardand felt my throat tight-

en up in the back likeit does when Irsquom

trying to keep

from crying ldquoTherersquos another womanBeth Your father is trading me in for anew younger modelrdquo

This information was going to takemore than a few minutes to process Myfather couldnrsquot possibly be capable ofhurting my mother in this way ldquoHow canyou be so calm I canrsquot believe he did thisto yourdquo was all I could think to say

ldquoOh believe me Irsquom taking the EvelynWoods speed course for dealing withgrief Irsquove already visited denial andanger now Irsquom in the bargaining stageIrsquove got to figure out if I can keep thehouse whether I should burn or sell yourfatherrsquos stuff for on eBay who the bestdivorce lawyer ishelliprdquo

ldquoIrsquom afraid to askhelliphow many morestages are thererdquo

ldquoOh just bouts of clinical depressiona brief dabble into pharmaceuticalpainkillers and then either killing or com-ing to terms with your father somedayrdquoMy motherrsquos comments settled in andmade me think about what stage of griefI should be visiting as a result of myfailed marriage

ldquoMom donrsquot worry Christian and Iwersquoll be here for you to help you sortthings outrdquo

ldquoI know yoursquove always idolized yourfather and believe me I wonrsquot ever askyou to take sides but I appreciate theshow of support for me It means a lotrdquo

My mother put her head down on thetable and wept All those years of mar-riage and poof all gone like a puff ofsmoke in the air Was my father having amidlife crisis How could he be so selfish

5

I know how it feels to be betrayed by the man you love butit didnrsquot make it any easier to know what to say to my moth-er so I just sat with her rubbing her back drying the tearsfrom her eyes Irsquod wait rsquotil later to tell her about the RockOn Fest Sometime when I knew it would lift her spirits andnot freak her out that Christian and I would be on the roadfor three months while she was left trying to pull her lifeback together

I slipped out of the kitchen and went up to my bedroomIt was exactly the way I had left it before I went off to col-lege Pink walls were covered up with posters of The Beatlesand Madonna and my childhood musical idols Above mydesk a bulletin board was covered with ticket stubs fromconcerts my dried-up prom corsage and my varsity letter fortrack On one wall there was a framed sheet of music withlarge handwritten pencil notes and second-grade lyrics writ-ten in along with the award I won in the Scholastic MusicContest for songwriting It was the first song I ever wroteappropriately titled ldquoSnow Dayrdquo It captured the utter joy anelementary kid felt when she heard the announcement thatschool was canceled due to snow I still was proud that mysong had captured first place in the state competition amilestone that was a turning point in my childhood Winning

that award and my elementary school music teacherMrs Wright had both boosted my self-esteem and

made me believe I could be a songwriter someday I opened the bottom drawer of my desk a flimsy

processed-wood model Sears sold that inhabitednearly every teenage girlrsquos room in the rsquo80s The

bottom draw had a lock and key so little girlscould lock away their love letters diariesand cigarettes The lock was a joke

because any nosy parent could easily pick thelock to discover what their little girls were up to ButI had outsmarted my parents and my desk still had theemergency joints I taped to the top of the drawer Slipping

YYOOGGAA TT--SSHHIIRRTT CCOOMM

my keychain out of my pocket I took the smalltoy key and opened the lock Inside were close to30 sealed yellow bubble-pack envelopesaddressed to Beth Stanley co Angie Carter atthis address all unopened with their original post-marks These 30 envelopes were priceless to meand my motherrsquos news this morning had pro-voked me to finally put them to use I depositedthe envelopes into a bag I took from the kitchenand carefully detached a joint from the deskhoping it would still light

Mom was waiting for me in the kitchen ldquoDidyou get everything you needed out of yourroomrdquo she asked

ldquoYeah plus I found a little something Ithought might make you feel better Itrsquos too earlyto start drinking but you wanna get highrdquo Iasked as I held up the joint

ldquoHell yeahrdquo she said with a grin and it mademe happy to make her smile ldquoIf I knew you hadpot in your room I would have cleaned up theremore oftenrdquo

My mother had turned on the radio and theclassic rock station was playing the songs mymother and father had probably listened towhen they were dating I lit up the joint and letit burn for a while took a drag and handed it

to my mother How hilarious I thought allthose years I hid pot from my par-

ents and now Iwas sitting at the

table smoking a doob with my mom Christianwould shit if she could see us now and I felt kindof bad for not calling her to share in the fun butI was going to savor every minute of this illicitexperience with my mother

ldquoMom did you know that I smoked pot inhigh schoolrdquo I asked

ldquoOf course honeyrdquo she said not missing abeat like smoking pot with your daughter onSunday morning was as natural as making herpancakes for breakfast

ldquoWhy didnrsquot you call me out on itrdquoldquoHow could I stop you from doing something

I did when I was your age We would haveintervened if you were getting out of control butyou had a good head on your shoulders Hellyour father and I were always worried Christianand you would find our stash and smoke itrdquo

ldquoGet out I know you two smoked pot backin the day but you still did it even when I wasolderrdquo I asked as I passed the joint back to mymother She took her time taking her drag and letthe air slowly blow out of her lungs as sheexhaled Clearly she was a seasoned pot smokerwith not even the slightest bit of a cough fromthis dried-out old joint

ldquoDonrsquot you remember those late nights whenyour dad ran down to the corner to get Doritosand chocolate You girls thought it was such aspecial treat when really it was just your fatherhaving a bad case of the munchies Just becauseyoursquore a parent doesnrsquot mean you lose all interestin having funrdquo

My mother reached for a bagel the potmust be working The radio was play-

ing ldquoLucy in the Sky withDiamondsrdquo by The

Beatles and Ithought tomyself What

Beth Stanley

Senior Copywriter

Bryant amp Dane Advertising

22822 Chagrin Blvd

Beachwood Ohio 44122

UUSS PPOOSSTTAAGGEE

PPAAIIDD

BBEEAACCHHWWOOOODD OOHH

4444112222

MMAARR 0088

0022

AAMMOOUUNNTT

4444112222

00000000

0000006611335599--0022

$163

7

The SmokingSectionHere Are a FewRelated Articles

Moms forMarijuana

How to Tell YourParents YouSmoke Marijuana

a perfect song to listen to while you get stoned with your mother Myappropriateness filter had shut down and I was finally able to ask some ofthe questions I knew I couldnrsquot ask earlier ldquoYou and Dad You were so inlove All the dreams So many great times How could he do this to yourdquo

She listened to the music for a while and took her time answeringme but when she did it wasnrsquot an answer but another question ldquoWhydo you think there are no songs for menrdquo

ldquoWhatrdquoldquoThink about it How many love songs do you know that are named

after a manrdquoI thought about it for a moment and maybe it was the pot but

nothing came to mind ldquoI can only think of funny ones like lsquoBad BadLeroy Brownrsquo but nada on the love songsrdquo

ldquoThatrsquos because there are no love songs written for men You shouldknow Yoursquore a songwriter I donrsquot recall you ever writing onerdquo

Mom had touched on something and we both sat and pondered theidea for a while listening to the music on the radio ldquoYoursquore right The bas-tards always end up breaking our hearts before we can even finish the lyricsThatrsquos why so few women have ever had the nerve to write onerdquo

ldquoThey take the best years of our lives do whatever the hell they want toget where they want when they want with no regard for the women wholoved themrdquo my mother said obviously getting back her angry voice

ldquoYou know whatrsquos funny Mom Well funny in a sick way They sayyou marry a man just like your father and that is exactly what I didDad and Cris are exactly alikehellipselfish heartless and neither one gives adamn about what they did to usrdquo

ldquoI just hope what your father did to me will wake you up to the factthat you need to finally leave Crisrdquo

Another kick to the gut and it was true but still hard to hear fromyour mother ldquoMom I know yoursquore going to find this hard to believebut I think some good may come from this I used to be petrified butnow Irsquom ready to fight Crisrdquo

ldquoIrsquoll be here to support you honey Wersquoll get through this togetherWersquore survivorsrdquo

ldquoHey do you think we could find a woman divorce lawyer that will give us a mother-daughter discountrdquo I asked

ldquoWe can try but until then do you have any more pot hiddenupstairs That stuff is goodrdquo

Herersquos a FewGreat Songs forMen

Goodbye Earl

Tyrone

Long John Blues

Johnny Are You Queer

ldquoBring Me To Life ldquoArenrsquot you dying to hear ldquoPick MerdquoCode Cherryrsquos music deserves to be heardand you can make it happen

Help bring the music to life by makinga donation to the Code Cherry RecordingFund Every cent of the donations will gostraight to the kitty to pay the musiciansand recording studio in order to bring thedownloadable song links right here to NoSongs for Men

ldquoRockinrsquo in the Free WorldrdquoWe hope you enjoyed reading thisepisode of No Songs for Men We plan tokeep them coming every few weeksjammed full of Code Cherry escapadesand a few little fun extras for your readingenjoyment Help us Rock On by makinga donationmdashand donrsquot worry no amountis too small Every dollar sent goes to payfor production and maybe a cup oforganic tea for the production team

Want to help but donrsquot want to makea donation Thatrsquos coolmdashyou can doyour part by telling a friend andspreading the word about No Songsfor Men or checking out one of ourawesome advertisers

Thanks and Rock On

band members neededDo you know a woman rocker whowould be great for Code Cherry E-mail us at infomariamedianet

GET YOURCHERRY ON

MERCHANDISE now AVAILABLE AT

SHOP CODE CHERRY

You donrsquot have to stand in line to gettickets for the first show just sign upfor Fan Mail at wwwmariamedianet toreceive alerts on upcoming episodes

Stay tuned the Code Cherry girls willbe back soon to play you the very firstepisode of No Songs for Men

Maria Santoferrarowas born and raised in Northeast OhioAfter graduating fromMarietta College with a degree inadvertising and herentrepreneurial debut of CareerGearshe went on to pursue a glamorouscareer in the field of advertising managing major soft drink condomfast food and diaper brands until shedecided to shuck it all and create NoSongs For Men She loves living in Ohiowith her husband but is working out aplan to split her time and work and playremotely from either a tropical island aski slope Paris or wherever they wantHey a girl can dream This is her firstweb series Visit the authorrsquos websiteat wwwmariamedianet

Book design by JAS Graphicsjasgraphicsbiz

Character illustrations by Renee Lethbridge Design Serviceswwwreneelethbridgecom

Published byMariaMedia LLCCopyright copy 2010 by Maria Santoferraro

Live Laugh Rock and Returnto MariaMedia

RETURN TOmariamedianet

GET YOURCHERRY ON

MERCHANDISE nowAVAILABLE AT

SHOP CODE CHERRY

TM

Page 2: Episode 4 - "Survivor" No Songs for Men

Question 1 Off the top of yourhead can you name a song that has amanrsquos name as the title

Answer If you did Irsquom impressedmdashbecause 922 of those surveyed did not

Question 2 Now if I ask you toname a song with a girlrsquos name as thetitle I bet you can come up with some-thing really quickhellip

Answer Veronica Jane MichelleAngie Layla Mariamdashthere are tons ofgreat songs named after women andIrsquom sure it was no problem for you tocome up with a few

Why is this Well I think most womenknow the reason We just never feel thatinspired to write a love song about a manMaybe at the beginning of a relationshipwersquoll pen a few verses but eventually mostmen will break our heart donrsquot put downthe toilet seat get love handles annoy thecrap out of us and then there goes the hitsong The only songs I can think of withmenrsquos names are really horrible like ldquoBadBad Leroy Brownrdquo or ldquoBenrdquo which by theway was about a rat

In the new web series No Songs for Menall of the female characters have thenames of popular rock songs from the 70rsquosand 80rsquos with a womanrsquos name as the titleBeth Amanda Jenny Sara and Bethrsquos sis-ter Christian These talented women areall members of the indie rock band sensa-tion Code Cherry

Itrsquos The Runaways meets Sex and the Cityas we follow the music sisterhood andliaisons of these five incredible women asthey compose the reasons why there reallyare no songs for men

what is

NO SONGS FOR MEN

1

Irsquom a Musicianand Irsquom aVegetarian

Paul McCartneyand Joan Jetthave two thingsin commonTheyrsquore bothgreat musiciansand vegetariansListen to Joanrsquosveggie testimonialand consider kicking the meat habit

Have you ever really thought about how important it is tohave your parentsrsquo approval If you think itrsquos not importantyoursquore fooling yourself I can still remember how special it feltwhen my dad finally made it to one of my track meets when Iwas in the ninth grade Or how pissed I was when my sisterrecorded over the VHS tapes of my piano and voice recitalseffectively robbing my parents of watching my early musicalgenius Itrsquos like a tiny voice buried deep into our subcon-scious at birth the need for parental approval speaks to usin just about every action we take Just last night that tinyvoice rang away in my ears Can I get away with wearing adress this low-cut My mother is going to have a cow whenshe sees me My parents are going to be blown away whenthey hear the new Code Cherry songs I wrote Holy crap Iwas totally smashed last night Good thing my parentswerenrsquot around to witness it Our parents get 18-plus yearsto pound all their principles and a lot of pork down ourthroats and we get the rest of our lives to process it Or ifyoursquore like Amanda and me you process it and become avegetarian

Irsquoll never forget the flagrant look of displeasure on myparentsrsquo faces when I came home from Vegas with thenews that I had married Cris To them he was a bad boyfrom my past come to plunder my love and pillage my gift-ed musical career They were right but at the time I had athing for bad boys Irsquove been trying to win back theirapproval and my music ever since and my announcementthat Code Cherry had made the bill of the Rock On Festwas the Holy Grail a surefire way to win back theirapproval I could care less that Cris didnrsquot show up (hewasnrsquot invited) but it was a huge kick in the gut when my

IF YOUrsquoRE OVER 30HERErsquoS THE OLD SCHOOLVERSION OF SURVIVOR

Irsquom a Actor andIrsquom a Vegetarian

AliciaSilverstonersquos Kind Diet ASimple Guide toFeeling GreatLosing Weightand Saving thePlanet

LISTENepisode 2

survivor

parents never showed up to hear us playlast night

The evening had turned into a hugecelebration with so many people

there to congratulate us andthe party ensued well

after we finished oursets I was so happy tosee Jenny and Christiankiss and make up thatto be honest it didnrsquot hit

me until late in theevening that my parents

were missing in action Whydidnrsquot they show up My mothercalled me at least three times a day forsome of the most inane reasons so it

was incomprehensible that she couldnrsquotfind the time to call and say they couldnrsquotmake it

Thinking with a somewhat sober headthis morning I woke up in a panic wor-ried about what could have happened tothem I looked outside at the cloudy skyhoping the clouds would disappear andeventually burn off into a beautifulSunday afternoon I still wanted to tell

my parents everything in person tosee their faces light up when they

heard the news so Igot out of bed show-ered and headed overto see them Along theway I made one quick

stop to pick up bagelsmdashmy fatherrsquos favorite andsomething I knewwould absorb the

remaining liquor in

2

my system I thought about callingChristian to come with but after twostraight nights of playing and partying Iknew she wouldnrsquot make it out of bed forhours

The stately homes on Merriman Roadwith their huge lawns and impeccablelandscaping passed before me on myway to my childhood home I used towonder about the people who lived inthese houses how lucky the kids must beto grow up in a mansion with maids todo the chores and a pony in the backyard Now I just wondered how hightheir heating bills must be every winter Iturned down our street and traveled afew blocks to where the yards got smallerand the houses became less vulgar dis-plays of wealth

At the kitchen table staring blankly ata pile of bills and her checkbook mymother Angie held court Her brownhair just starting to streak with beautifulgray highlights was pulled back into aponytail and her face and arms alreadyglowed with a summer tan She had on apair of old jeans a faded wrinkled CodeCherry T-shirt that looked like it had beenslept in and her eyes were puffy and dis-tant I loved the fact that my mom wasstill a cool hippie rock rsquonrsquo roller at heartand I reached across the table andhugged her

ldquoGood Morning Mom I broughtsome bagels Want me to put one in thetoaster for yourdquo I said

ldquoThanks sweetie but I donrsquot havemuch of an appetite todayrdquo my mothersaid

GET YOURCHERRY ON

MERCHANDISE nowAVAILABLE AT

SHOP CODE CHERRY3 3

I noticed that the smell of coffeethe Sunday newspaper littered acrossthe table and the floor my fatherburning the toastmdashall the signs of anormal Sunday morningmdashwereabsent ldquoDid they forget to deliver theSunday paper Is Dad chasing afterthe paper boy againrdquo I asked

ldquoNo thatrsquos not what your dad ischasingrdquo my mother said in a sarcas-tic tone almost under her breath

ldquoWhatrdquoldquoYou better sit down Beth Irsquove

got some news for yourdquoThe hair on the back of my neck

stood up and I slowly slumped downinto the chair across from my motherfeeling the warmth of the bagels pen-etrate from the brown paper bag allthe way through to the sinking feelingin my chest I didnrsquot know what newsmy mother was about to deliver butany animosity I held about my parentsmissing the CD-release party instantlyfaded ldquoMom what is it Yoursquore scar-ing the hell out of merdquo

ldquoIrsquom sorry we didnrsquot make therelease party last night but I was inno shape to come and your fatherwell he has no excusehelliphersquos just atotal bastardrdquo

ldquoMom donrsquot worry about notbeing there just tell me what hap-pened Why are you so pissed atDadrdquo

ldquoYour father came home from abusiness trip last night walked in thedoor sat me down and told me hersquosleavinghelliprdquo

4

My mother was speaking to me but Iwas not picking up what she was throw-ing down I just sat there dumbfoundedmouth open nonresponsive until she wasforced to provide more details

ldquoHe wants a divorce Crazy thingthough told me he still loves me buttherersquos nothing left between us anymoresays therersquos nothing left for himrdquo

I knew my father had been goingthrough some tough times recently Hewas always on the road traveling forwork burned out and struggling to payoff some debts ldquoBut Mom yoursquove beentogether for thirty-four years He canrsquot beserious This is just a temporary thinghersquoll come to his senses and come backrdquo

ldquoBeth please donrsquot be naiumlve with meYou know better than me what husbandsare capable of Hiding things behind yourback lying stealing breaking yourheartrdquo She started to cry and I realizedwhy she had that sadness in her eyesmdashshe had been crying probably since myfather had delivered this news last night

ldquoWherersquos Dad now I want to talk tohimrdquo I said as I dug out the tissues

from my purse for my momHer eyes turned steelyand I knew there mustbe more bad news apart of the story mymother had not hadthe courage to deliveryet I swallowed hardand felt my throat tight-

en up in the back likeit does when Irsquom

trying to keep

from crying ldquoTherersquos another womanBeth Your father is trading me in for anew younger modelrdquo

This information was going to takemore than a few minutes to process Myfather couldnrsquot possibly be capable ofhurting my mother in this way ldquoHow canyou be so calm I canrsquot believe he did thisto yourdquo was all I could think to say

ldquoOh believe me Irsquom taking the EvelynWoods speed course for dealing withgrief Irsquove already visited denial andanger now Irsquom in the bargaining stageIrsquove got to figure out if I can keep thehouse whether I should burn or sell yourfatherrsquos stuff for on eBay who the bestdivorce lawyer ishelliprdquo

ldquoIrsquom afraid to askhelliphow many morestages are thererdquo

ldquoOh just bouts of clinical depressiona brief dabble into pharmaceuticalpainkillers and then either killing or com-ing to terms with your father somedayrdquoMy motherrsquos comments settled in andmade me think about what stage of griefI should be visiting as a result of myfailed marriage

ldquoMom donrsquot worry Christian and Iwersquoll be here for you to help you sortthings outrdquo

ldquoI know yoursquove always idolized yourfather and believe me I wonrsquot ever askyou to take sides but I appreciate theshow of support for me It means a lotrdquo

My mother put her head down on thetable and wept All those years of mar-riage and poof all gone like a puff ofsmoke in the air Was my father having amidlife crisis How could he be so selfish

5

I know how it feels to be betrayed by the man you love butit didnrsquot make it any easier to know what to say to my moth-er so I just sat with her rubbing her back drying the tearsfrom her eyes Irsquod wait rsquotil later to tell her about the RockOn Fest Sometime when I knew it would lift her spirits andnot freak her out that Christian and I would be on the roadfor three months while she was left trying to pull her lifeback together

I slipped out of the kitchen and went up to my bedroomIt was exactly the way I had left it before I went off to col-lege Pink walls were covered up with posters of The Beatlesand Madonna and my childhood musical idols Above mydesk a bulletin board was covered with ticket stubs fromconcerts my dried-up prom corsage and my varsity letter fortrack On one wall there was a framed sheet of music withlarge handwritten pencil notes and second-grade lyrics writ-ten in along with the award I won in the Scholastic MusicContest for songwriting It was the first song I ever wroteappropriately titled ldquoSnow Dayrdquo It captured the utter joy anelementary kid felt when she heard the announcement thatschool was canceled due to snow I still was proud that mysong had captured first place in the state competition amilestone that was a turning point in my childhood Winning

that award and my elementary school music teacherMrs Wright had both boosted my self-esteem and

made me believe I could be a songwriter someday I opened the bottom drawer of my desk a flimsy

processed-wood model Sears sold that inhabitednearly every teenage girlrsquos room in the rsquo80s The

bottom draw had a lock and key so little girlscould lock away their love letters diariesand cigarettes The lock was a joke

because any nosy parent could easily pick thelock to discover what their little girls were up to ButI had outsmarted my parents and my desk still had theemergency joints I taped to the top of the drawer Slipping

YYOOGGAA TT--SSHHIIRRTT CCOOMM

my keychain out of my pocket I took the smalltoy key and opened the lock Inside were close to30 sealed yellow bubble-pack envelopesaddressed to Beth Stanley co Angie Carter atthis address all unopened with their original post-marks These 30 envelopes were priceless to meand my motherrsquos news this morning had pro-voked me to finally put them to use I depositedthe envelopes into a bag I took from the kitchenand carefully detached a joint from the deskhoping it would still light

Mom was waiting for me in the kitchen ldquoDidyou get everything you needed out of yourroomrdquo she asked

ldquoYeah plus I found a little something Ithought might make you feel better Itrsquos too earlyto start drinking but you wanna get highrdquo Iasked as I held up the joint

ldquoHell yeahrdquo she said with a grin and it mademe happy to make her smile ldquoIf I knew you hadpot in your room I would have cleaned up theremore oftenrdquo

My mother had turned on the radio and theclassic rock station was playing the songs mymother and father had probably listened towhen they were dating I lit up the joint and letit burn for a while took a drag and handed it

to my mother How hilarious I thought allthose years I hid pot from my par-

ents and now Iwas sitting at the

table smoking a doob with my mom Christianwould shit if she could see us now and I felt kindof bad for not calling her to share in the fun butI was going to savor every minute of this illicitexperience with my mother

ldquoMom did you know that I smoked pot inhigh schoolrdquo I asked

ldquoOf course honeyrdquo she said not missing abeat like smoking pot with your daughter onSunday morning was as natural as making herpancakes for breakfast

ldquoWhy didnrsquot you call me out on itrdquoldquoHow could I stop you from doing something

I did when I was your age We would haveintervened if you were getting out of control butyou had a good head on your shoulders Hellyour father and I were always worried Christianand you would find our stash and smoke itrdquo

ldquoGet out I know you two smoked pot backin the day but you still did it even when I wasolderrdquo I asked as I passed the joint back to mymother She took her time taking her drag and letthe air slowly blow out of her lungs as sheexhaled Clearly she was a seasoned pot smokerwith not even the slightest bit of a cough fromthis dried-out old joint

ldquoDonrsquot you remember those late nights whenyour dad ran down to the corner to get Doritosand chocolate You girls thought it was such aspecial treat when really it was just your fatherhaving a bad case of the munchies Just becauseyoursquore a parent doesnrsquot mean you lose all interestin having funrdquo

My mother reached for a bagel the potmust be working The radio was play-

ing ldquoLucy in the Sky withDiamondsrdquo by The

Beatles and Ithought tomyself What

Beth Stanley

Senior Copywriter

Bryant amp Dane Advertising

22822 Chagrin Blvd

Beachwood Ohio 44122

UUSS PPOOSSTTAAGGEE

PPAAIIDD

BBEEAACCHHWWOOOODD OOHH

4444112222

MMAARR 0088

0022

AAMMOOUUNNTT

4444112222

00000000

0000006611335599--0022

$163

7

The SmokingSectionHere Are a FewRelated Articles

Moms forMarijuana

How to Tell YourParents YouSmoke Marijuana

a perfect song to listen to while you get stoned with your mother Myappropriateness filter had shut down and I was finally able to ask some ofthe questions I knew I couldnrsquot ask earlier ldquoYou and Dad You were so inlove All the dreams So many great times How could he do this to yourdquo

She listened to the music for a while and took her time answeringme but when she did it wasnrsquot an answer but another question ldquoWhydo you think there are no songs for menrdquo

ldquoWhatrdquoldquoThink about it How many love songs do you know that are named

after a manrdquoI thought about it for a moment and maybe it was the pot but

nothing came to mind ldquoI can only think of funny ones like lsquoBad BadLeroy Brownrsquo but nada on the love songsrdquo

ldquoThatrsquos because there are no love songs written for men You shouldknow Yoursquore a songwriter I donrsquot recall you ever writing onerdquo

Mom had touched on something and we both sat and pondered theidea for a while listening to the music on the radio ldquoYoursquore right The bas-tards always end up breaking our hearts before we can even finish the lyricsThatrsquos why so few women have ever had the nerve to write onerdquo

ldquoThey take the best years of our lives do whatever the hell they want toget where they want when they want with no regard for the women wholoved themrdquo my mother said obviously getting back her angry voice

ldquoYou know whatrsquos funny Mom Well funny in a sick way They sayyou marry a man just like your father and that is exactly what I didDad and Cris are exactly alikehellipselfish heartless and neither one gives adamn about what they did to usrdquo

ldquoI just hope what your father did to me will wake you up to the factthat you need to finally leave Crisrdquo

Another kick to the gut and it was true but still hard to hear fromyour mother ldquoMom I know yoursquore going to find this hard to believebut I think some good may come from this I used to be petrified butnow Irsquom ready to fight Crisrdquo

ldquoIrsquoll be here to support you honey Wersquoll get through this togetherWersquore survivorsrdquo

ldquoHey do you think we could find a woman divorce lawyer that will give us a mother-daughter discountrdquo I asked

ldquoWe can try but until then do you have any more pot hiddenupstairs That stuff is goodrdquo

Herersquos a FewGreat Songs forMen

Goodbye Earl

Tyrone

Long John Blues

Johnny Are You Queer

ldquoBring Me To Life ldquoArenrsquot you dying to hear ldquoPick MerdquoCode Cherryrsquos music deserves to be heardand you can make it happen

Help bring the music to life by makinga donation to the Code Cherry RecordingFund Every cent of the donations will gostraight to the kitty to pay the musiciansand recording studio in order to bring thedownloadable song links right here to NoSongs for Men

ldquoRockinrsquo in the Free WorldrdquoWe hope you enjoyed reading thisepisode of No Songs for Men We plan tokeep them coming every few weeksjammed full of Code Cherry escapadesand a few little fun extras for your readingenjoyment Help us Rock On by makinga donationmdashand donrsquot worry no amountis too small Every dollar sent goes to payfor production and maybe a cup oforganic tea for the production team

Want to help but donrsquot want to makea donation Thatrsquos coolmdashyou can doyour part by telling a friend andspreading the word about No Songsfor Men or checking out one of ourawesome advertisers

Thanks and Rock On

band members neededDo you know a woman rocker whowould be great for Code Cherry E-mail us at infomariamedianet

GET YOURCHERRY ON

MERCHANDISE now AVAILABLE AT

SHOP CODE CHERRY

You donrsquot have to stand in line to gettickets for the first show just sign upfor Fan Mail at wwwmariamedianet toreceive alerts on upcoming episodes

Stay tuned the Code Cherry girls willbe back soon to play you the very firstepisode of No Songs for Men

Maria Santoferrarowas born and raised in Northeast OhioAfter graduating fromMarietta College with a degree inadvertising and herentrepreneurial debut of CareerGearshe went on to pursue a glamorouscareer in the field of advertising managing major soft drink condomfast food and diaper brands until shedecided to shuck it all and create NoSongs For Men She loves living in Ohiowith her husband but is working out aplan to split her time and work and playremotely from either a tropical island aski slope Paris or wherever they wantHey a girl can dream This is her firstweb series Visit the authorrsquos websiteat wwwmariamedianet

Book design by JAS Graphicsjasgraphicsbiz

Character illustrations by Renee Lethbridge Design Serviceswwwreneelethbridgecom

Published byMariaMedia LLCCopyright copy 2010 by Maria Santoferraro

Live Laugh Rock and Returnto MariaMedia

RETURN TOmariamedianet

GET YOURCHERRY ON

MERCHANDISE nowAVAILABLE AT

SHOP CODE CHERRY

TM

Page 3: Episode 4 - "Survivor" No Songs for Men

1

Irsquom a Musicianand Irsquom aVegetarian

Paul McCartneyand Joan Jetthave two thingsin commonTheyrsquore bothgreat musiciansand vegetariansListen to Joanrsquosveggie testimonialand consider kicking the meat habit

Have you ever really thought about how important it is tohave your parentsrsquo approval If you think itrsquos not importantyoursquore fooling yourself I can still remember how special it feltwhen my dad finally made it to one of my track meets when Iwas in the ninth grade Or how pissed I was when my sisterrecorded over the VHS tapes of my piano and voice recitalseffectively robbing my parents of watching my early musicalgenius Itrsquos like a tiny voice buried deep into our subcon-scious at birth the need for parental approval speaks to usin just about every action we take Just last night that tinyvoice rang away in my ears Can I get away with wearing adress this low-cut My mother is going to have a cow whenshe sees me My parents are going to be blown away whenthey hear the new Code Cherry songs I wrote Holy crap Iwas totally smashed last night Good thing my parentswerenrsquot around to witness it Our parents get 18-plus yearsto pound all their principles and a lot of pork down ourthroats and we get the rest of our lives to process it Or ifyoursquore like Amanda and me you process it and become avegetarian

Irsquoll never forget the flagrant look of displeasure on myparentsrsquo faces when I came home from Vegas with thenews that I had married Cris To them he was a bad boyfrom my past come to plunder my love and pillage my gift-ed musical career They were right but at the time I had athing for bad boys Irsquove been trying to win back theirapproval and my music ever since and my announcementthat Code Cherry had made the bill of the Rock On Festwas the Holy Grail a surefire way to win back theirapproval I could care less that Cris didnrsquot show up (hewasnrsquot invited) but it was a huge kick in the gut when my

IF YOUrsquoRE OVER 30HERErsquoS THE OLD SCHOOLVERSION OF SURVIVOR

Irsquom a Actor andIrsquom a Vegetarian

AliciaSilverstonersquos Kind Diet ASimple Guide toFeeling GreatLosing Weightand Saving thePlanet

LISTENepisode 2

survivor

parents never showed up to hear us playlast night

The evening had turned into a hugecelebration with so many people

there to congratulate us andthe party ensued well

after we finished oursets I was so happy tosee Jenny and Christiankiss and make up thatto be honest it didnrsquot hit

me until late in theevening that my parents

were missing in action Whydidnrsquot they show up My mothercalled me at least three times a day forsome of the most inane reasons so it

was incomprehensible that she couldnrsquotfind the time to call and say they couldnrsquotmake it

Thinking with a somewhat sober headthis morning I woke up in a panic wor-ried about what could have happened tothem I looked outside at the cloudy skyhoping the clouds would disappear andeventually burn off into a beautifulSunday afternoon I still wanted to tell

my parents everything in person tosee their faces light up when they

heard the news so Igot out of bed show-ered and headed overto see them Along theway I made one quick

stop to pick up bagelsmdashmy fatherrsquos favorite andsomething I knewwould absorb the

remaining liquor in

2

my system I thought about callingChristian to come with but after twostraight nights of playing and partying Iknew she wouldnrsquot make it out of bed forhours

The stately homes on Merriman Roadwith their huge lawns and impeccablelandscaping passed before me on myway to my childhood home I used towonder about the people who lived inthese houses how lucky the kids must beto grow up in a mansion with maids todo the chores and a pony in the backyard Now I just wondered how hightheir heating bills must be every winter Iturned down our street and traveled afew blocks to where the yards got smallerand the houses became less vulgar dis-plays of wealth

At the kitchen table staring blankly ata pile of bills and her checkbook mymother Angie held court Her brownhair just starting to streak with beautifulgray highlights was pulled back into aponytail and her face and arms alreadyglowed with a summer tan She had on apair of old jeans a faded wrinkled CodeCherry T-shirt that looked like it had beenslept in and her eyes were puffy and dis-tant I loved the fact that my mom wasstill a cool hippie rock rsquonrsquo roller at heartand I reached across the table andhugged her

ldquoGood Morning Mom I broughtsome bagels Want me to put one in thetoaster for yourdquo I said

ldquoThanks sweetie but I donrsquot havemuch of an appetite todayrdquo my mothersaid

GET YOURCHERRY ON

MERCHANDISE nowAVAILABLE AT

SHOP CODE CHERRY3 3

I noticed that the smell of coffeethe Sunday newspaper littered acrossthe table and the floor my fatherburning the toastmdashall the signs of anormal Sunday morningmdashwereabsent ldquoDid they forget to deliver theSunday paper Is Dad chasing afterthe paper boy againrdquo I asked

ldquoNo thatrsquos not what your dad ischasingrdquo my mother said in a sarcas-tic tone almost under her breath

ldquoWhatrdquoldquoYou better sit down Beth Irsquove

got some news for yourdquoThe hair on the back of my neck

stood up and I slowly slumped downinto the chair across from my motherfeeling the warmth of the bagels pen-etrate from the brown paper bag allthe way through to the sinking feelingin my chest I didnrsquot know what newsmy mother was about to deliver butany animosity I held about my parentsmissing the CD-release party instantlyfaded ldquoMom what is it Yoursquore scar-ing the hell out of merdquo

ldquoIrsquom sorry we didnrsquot make therelease party last night but I was inno shape to come and your fatherwell he has no excusehelliphersquos just atotal bastardrdquo

ldquoMom donrsquot worry about notbeing there just tell me what hap-pened Why are you so pissed atDadrdquo

ldquoYour father came home from abusiness trip last night walked in thedoor sat me down and told me hersquosleavinghelliprdquo

4

My mother was speaking to me but Iwas not picking up what she was throw-ing down I just sat there dumbfoundedmouth open nonresponsive until she wasforced to provide more details

ldquoHe wants a divorce Crazy thingthough told me he still loves me buttherersquos nothing left between us anymoresays therersquos nothing left for himrdquo

I knew my father had been goingthrough some tough times recently Hewas always on the road traveling forwork burned out and struggling to payoff some debts ldquoBut Mom yoursquove beentogether for thirty-four years He canrsquot beserious This is just a temporary thinghersquoll come to his senses and come backrdquo

ldquoBeth please donrsquot be naiumlve with meYou know better than me what husbandsare capable of Hiding things behind yourback lying stealing breaking yourheartrdquo She started to cry and I realizedwhy she had that sadness in her eyesmdashshe had been crying probably since myfather had delivered this news last night

ldquoWherersquos Dad now I want to talk tohimrdquo I said as I dug out the tissues

from my purse for my momHer eyes turned steelyand I knew there mustbe more bad news apart of the story mymother had not hadthe courage to deliveryet I swallowed hardand felt my throat tight-

en up in the back likeit does when Irsquom

trying to keep

from crying ldquoTherersquos another womanBeth Your father is trading me in for anew younger modelrdquo

This information was going to takemore than a few minutes to process Myfather couldnrsquot possibly be capable ofhurting my mother in this way ldquoHow canyou be so calm I canrsquot believe he did thisto yourdquo was all I could think to say

ldquoOh believe me Irsquom taking the EvelynWoods speed course for dealing withgrief Irsquove already visited denial andanger now Irsquom in the bargaining stageIrsquove got to figure out if I can keep thehouse whether I should burn or sell yourfatherrsquos stuff for on eBay who the bestdivorce lawyer ishelliprdquo

ldquoIrsquom afraid to askhelliphow many morestages are thererdquo

ldquoOh just bouts of clinical depressiona brief dabble into pharmaceuticalpainkillers and then either killing or com-ing to terms with your father somedayrdquoMy motherrsquos comments settled in andmade me think about what stage of griefI should be visiting as a result of myfailed marriage

ldquoMom donrsquot worry Christian and Iwersquoll be here for you to help you sortthings outrdquo

ldquoI know yoursquove always idolized yourfather and believe me I wonrsquot ever askyou to take sides but I appreciate theshow of support for me It means a lotrdquo

My mother put her head down on thetable and wept All those years of mar-riage and poof all gone like a puff ofsmoke in the air Was my father having amidlife crisis How could he be so selfish

5

I know how it feels to be betrayed by the man you love butit didnrsquot make it any easier to know what to say to my moth-er so I just sat with her rubbing her back drying the tearsfrom her eyes Irsquod wait rsquotil later to tell her about the RockOn Fest Sometime when I knew it would lift her spirits andnot freak her out that Christian and I would be on the roadfor three months while she was left trying to pull her lifeback together

I slipped out of the kitchen and went up to my bedroomIt was exactly the way I had left it before I went off to col-lege Pink walls were covered up with posters of The Beatlesand Madonna and my childhood musical idols Above mydesk a bulletin board was covered with ticket stubs fromconcerts my dried-up prom corsage and my varsity letter fortrack On one wall there was a framed sheet of music withlarge handwritten pencil notes and second-grade lyrics writ-ten in along with the award I won in the Scholastic MusicContest for songwriting It was the first song I ever wroteappropriately titled ldquoSnow Dayrdquo It captured the utter joy anelementary kid felt when she heard the announcement thatschool was canceled due to snow I still was proud that mysong had captured first place in the state competition amilestone that was a turning point in my childhood Winning

that award and my elementary school music teacherMrs Wright had both boosted my self-esteem and

made me believe I could be a songwriter someday I opened the bottom drawer of my desk a flimsy

processed-wood model Sears sold that inhabitednearly every teenage girlrsquos room in the rsquo80s The

bottom draw had a lock and key so little girlscould lock away their love letters diariesand cigarettes The lock was a joke

because any nosy parent could easily pick thelock to discover what their little girls were up to ButI had outsmarted my parents and my desk still had theemergency joints I taped to the top of the drawer Slipping

YYOOGGAA TT--SSHHIIRRTT CCOOMM

my keychain out of my pocket I took the smalltoy key and opened the lock Inside were close to30 sealed yellow bubble-pack envelopesaddressed to Beth Stanley co Angie Carter atthis address all unopened with their original post-marks These 30 envelopes were priceless to meand my motherrsquos news this morning had pro-voked me to finally put them to use I depositedthe envelopes into a bag I took from the kitchenand carefully detached a joint from the deskhoping it would still light

Mom was waiting for me in the kitchen ldquoDidyou get everything you needed out of yourroomrdquo she asked

ldquoYeah plus I found a little something Ithought might make you feel better Itrsquos too earlyto start drinking but you wanna get highrdquo Iasked as I held up the joint

ldquoHell yeahrdquo she said with a grin and it mademe happy to make her smile ldquoIf I knew you hadpot in your room I would have cleaned up theremore oftenrdquo

My mother had turned on the radio and theclassic rock station was playing the songs mymother and father had probably listened towhen they were dating I lit up the joint and letit burn for a while took a drag and handed it

to my mother How hilarious I thought allthose years I hid pot from my par-

ents and now Iwas sitting at the

table smoking a doob with my mom Christianwould shit if she could see us now and I felt kindof bad for not calling her to share in the fun butI was going to savor every minute of this illicitexperience with my mother

ldquoMom did you know that I smoked pot inhigh schoolrdquo I asked

ldquoOf course honeyrdquo she said not missing abeat like smoking pot with your daughter onSunday morning was as natural as making herpancakes for breakfast

ldquoWhy didnrsquot you call me out on itrdquoldquoHow could I stop you from doing something

I did when I was your age We would haveintervened if you were getting out of control butyou had a good head on your shoulders Hellyour father and I were always worried Christianand you would find our stash and smoke itrdquo

ldquoGet out I know you two smoked pot backin the day but you still did it even when I wasolderrdquo I asked as I passed the joint back to mymother She took her time taking her drag and letthe air slowly blow out of her lungs as sheexhaled Clearly she was a seasoned pot smokerwith not even the slightest bit of a cough fromthis dried-out old joint

ldquoDonrsquot you remember those late nights whenyour dad ran down to the corner to get Doritosand chocolate You girls thought it was such aspecial treat when really it was just your fatherhaving a bad case of the munchies Just becauseyoursquore a parent doesnrsquot mean you lose all interestin having funrdquo

My mother reached for a bagel the potmust be working The radio was play-

ing ldquoLucy in the Sky withDiamondsrdquo by The

Beatles and Ithought tomyself What

Beth Stanley

Senior Copywriter

Bryant amp Dane Advertising

22822 Chagrin Blvd

Beachwood Ohio 44122

UUSS PPOOSSTTAAGGEE

PPAAIIDD

BBEEAACCHHWWOOOODD OOHH

4444112222

MMAARR 0088

0022

AAMMOOUUNNTT

4444112222

00000000

0000006611335599--0022

$163

7

The SmokingSectionHere Are a FewRelated Articles

Moms forMarijuana

How to Tell YourParents YouSmoke Marijuana

a perfect song to listen to while you get stoned with your mother Myappropriateness filter had shut down and I was finally able to ask some ofthe questions I knew I couldnrsquot ask earlier ldquoYou and Dad You were so inlove All the dreams So many great times How could he do this to yourdquo

She listened to the music for a while and took her time answeringme but when she did it wasnrsquot an answer but another question ldquoWhydo you think there are no songs for menrdquo

ldquoWhatrdquoldquoThink about it How many love songs do you know that are named

after a manrdquoI thought about it for a moment and maybe it was the pot but

nothing came to mind ldquoI can only think of funny ones like lsquoBad BadLeroy Brownrsquo but nada on the love songsrdquo

ldquoThatrsquos because there are no love songs written for men You shouldknow Yoursquore a songwriter I donrsquot recall you ever writing onerdquo

Mom had touched on something and we both sat and pondered theidea for a while listening to the music on the radio ldquoYoursquore right The bas-tards always end up breaking our hearts before we can even finish the lyricsThatrsquos why so few women have ever had the nerve to write onerdquo

ldquoThey take the best years of our lives do whatever the hell they want toget where they want when they want with no regard for the women wholoved themrdquo my mother said obviously getting back her angry voice

ldquoYou know whatrsquos funny Mom Well funny in a sick way They sayyou marry a man just like your father and that is exactly what I didDad and Cris are exactly alikehellipselfish heartless and neither one gives adamn about what they did to usrdquo

ldquoI just hope what your father did to me will wake you up to the factthat you need to finally leave Crisrdquo

Another kick to the gut and it was true but still hard to hear fromyour mother ldquoMom I know yoursquore going to find this hard to believebut I think some good may come from this I used to be petrified butnow Irsquom ready to fight Crisrdquo

ldquoIrsquoll be here to support you honey Wersquoll get through this togetherWersquore survivorsrdquo

ldquoHey do you think we could find a woman divorce lawyer that will give us a mother-daughter discountrdquo I asked

ldquoWe can try but until then do you have any more pot hiddenupstairs That stuff is goodrdquo

Herersquos a FewGreat Songs forMen

Goodbye Earl

Tyrone

Long John Blues

Johnny Are You Queer

ldquoBring Me To Life ldquoArenrsquot you dying to hear ldquoPick MerdquoCode Cherryrsquos music deserves to be heardand you can make it happen

Help bring the music to life by makinga donation to the Code Cherry RecordingFund Every cent of the donations will gostraight to the kitty to pay the musiciansand recording studio in order to bring thedownloadable song links right here to NoSongs for Men

ldquoRockinrsquo in the Free WorldrdquoWe hope you enjoyed reading thisepisode of No Songs for Men We plan tokeep them coming every few weeksjammed full of Code Cherry escapadesand a few little fun extras for your readingenjoyment Help us Rock On by makinga donationmdashand donrsquot worry no amountis too small Every dollar sent goes to payfor production and maybe a cup oforganic tea for the production team

Want to help but donrsquot want to makea donation Thatrsquos coolmdashyou can doyour part by telling a friend andspreading the word about No Songsfor Men or checking out one of ourawesome advertisers

Thanks and Rock On

band members neededDo you know a woman rocker whowould be great for Code Cherry E-mail us at infomariamedianet

GET YOURCHERRY ON

MERCHANDISE now AVAILABLE AT

SHOP CODE CHERRY

You donrsquot have to stand in line to gettickets for the first show just sign upfor Fan Mail at wwwmariamedianet toreceive alerts on upcoming episodes

Stay tuned the Code Cherry girls willbe back soon to play you the very firstepisode of No Songs for Men

Maria Santoferrarowas born and raised in Northeast OhioAfter graduating fromMarietta College with a degree inadvertising and herentrepreneurial debut of CareerGearshe went on to pursue a glamorouscareer in the field of advertising managing major soft drink condomfast food and diaper brands until shedecided to shuck it all and create NoSongs For Men She loves living in Ohiowith her husband but is working out aplan to split her time and work and playremotely from either a tropical island aski slope Paris or wherever they wantHey a girl can dream This is her firstweb series Visit the authorrsquos websiteat wwwmariamedianet

Book design by JAS Graphicsjasgraphicsbiz

Character illustrations by Renee Lethbridge Design Serviceswwwreneelethbridgecom

Published byMariaMedia LLCCopyright copy 2010 by Maria Santoferraro

Live Laugh Rock and Returnto MariaMedia

RETURN TOmariamedianet

GET YOURCHERRY ON

MERCHANDISE nowAVAILABLE AT

SHOP CODE CHERRY

TM

Page 4: Episode 4 - "Survivor" No Songs for Men

parents never showed up to hear us playlast night

The evening had turned into a hugecelebration with so many people

there to congratulate us andthe party ensued well

after we finished oursets I was so happy tosee Jenny and Christiankiss and make up thatto be honest it didnrsquot hit

me until late in theevening that my parents

were missing in action Whydidnrsquot they show up My mothercalled me at least three times a day forsome of the most inane reasons so it

was incomprehensible that she couldnrsquotfind the time to call and say they couldnrsquotmake it

Thinking with a somewhat sober headthis morning I woke up in a panic wor-ried about what could have happened tothem I looked outside at the cloudy skyhoping the clouds would disappear andeventually burn off into a beautifulSunday afternoon I still wanted to tell

my parents everything in person tosee their faces light up when they

heard the news so Igot out of bed show-ered and headed overto see them Along theway I made one quick

stop to pick up bagelsmdashmy fatherrsquos favorite andsomething I knewwould absorb the

remaining liquor in

2

my system I thought about callingChristian to come with but after twostraight nights of playing and partying Iknew she wouldnrsquot make it out of bed forhours

The stately homes on Merriman Roadwith their huge lawns and impeccablelandscaping passed before me on myway to my childhood home I used towonder about the people who lived inthese houses how lucky the kids must beto grow up in a mansion with maids todo the chores and a pony in the backyard Now I just wondered how hightheir heating bills must be every winter Iturned down our street and traveled afew blocks to where the yards got smallerand the houses became less vulgar dis-plays of wealth

At the kitchen table staring blankly ata pile of bills and her checkbook mymother Angie held court Her brownhair just starting to streak with beautifulgray highlights was pulled back into aponytail and her face and arms alreadyglowed with a summer tan She had on apair of old jeans a faded wrinkled CodeCherry T-shirt that looked like it had beenslept in and her eyes were puffy and dis-tant I loved the fact that my mom wasstill a cool hippie rock rsquonrsquo roller at heartand I reached across the table andhugged her

ldquoGood Morning Mom I broughtsome bagels Want me to put one in thetoaster for yourdquo I said

ldquoThanks sweetie but I donrsquot havemuch of an appetite todayrdquo my mothersaid

GET YOURCHERRY ON

MERCHANDISE nowAVAILABLE AT

SHOP CODE CHERRY3 3

I noticed that the smell of coffeethe Sunday newspaper littered acrossthe table and the floor my fatherburning the toastmdashall the signs of anormal Sunday morningmdashwereabsent ldquoDid they forget to deliver theSunday paper Is Dad chasing afterthe paper boy againrdquo I asked

ldquoNo thatrsquos not what your dad ischasingrdquo my mother said in a sarcas-tic tone almost under her breath

ldquoWhatrdquoldquoYou better sit down Beth Irsquove

got some news for yourdquoThe hair on the back of my neck

stood up and I slowly slumped downinto the chair across from my motherfeeling the warmth of the bagels pen-etrate from the brown paper bag allthe way through to the sinking feelingin my chest I didnrsquot know what newsmy mother was about to deliver butany animosity I held about my parentsmissing the CD-release party instantlyfaded ldquoMom what is it Yoursquore scar-ing the hell out of merdquo

ldquoIrsquom sorry we didnrsquot make therelease party last night but I was inno shape to come and your fatherwell he has no excusehelliphersquos just atotal bastardrdquo

ldquoMom donrsquot worry about notbeing there just tell me what hap-pened Why are you so pissed atDadrdquo

ldquoYour father came home from abusiness trip last night walked in thedoor sat me down and told me hersquosleavinghelliprdquo

4

My mother was speaking to me but Iwas not picking up what she was throw-ing down I just sat there dumbfoundedmouth open nonresponsive until she wasforced to provide more details

ldquoHe wants a divorce Crazy thingthough told me he still loves me buttherersquos nothing left between us anymoresays therersquos nothing left for himrdquo

I knew my father had been goingthrough some tough times recently Hewas always on the road traveling forwork burned out and struggling to payoff some debts ldquoBut Mom yoursquove beentogether for thirty-four years He canrsquot beserious This is just a temporary thinghersquoll come to his senses and come backrdquo

ldquoBeth please donrsquot be naiumlve with meYou know better than me what husbandsare capable of Hiding things behind yourback lying stealing breaking yourheartrdquo She started to cry and I realizedwhy she had that sadness in her eyesmdashshe had been crying probably since myfather had delivered this news last night

ldquoWherersquos Dad now I want to talk tohimrdquo I said as I dug out the tissues

from my purse for my momHer eyes turned steelyand I knew there mustbe more bad news apart of the story mymother had not hadthe courage to deliveryet I swallowed hardand felt my throat tight-

en up in the back likeit does when Irsquom

trying to keep

from crying ldquoTherersquos another womanBeth Your father is trading me in for anew younger modelrdquo

This information was going to takemore than a few minutes to process Myfather couldnrsquot possibly be capable ofhurting my mother in this way ldquoHow canyou be so calm I canrsquot believe he did thisto yourdquo was all I could think to say

ldquoOh believe me Irsquom taking the EvelynWoods speed course for dealing withgrief Irsquove already visited denial andanger now Irsquom in the bargaining stageIrsquove got to figure out if I can keep thehouse whether I should burn or sell yourfatherrsquos stuff for on eBay who the bestdivorce lawyer ishelliprdquo

ldquoIrsquom afraid to askhelliphow many morestages are thererdquo

ldquoOh just bouts of clinical depressiona brief dabble into pharmaceuticalpainkillers and then either killing or com-ing to terms with your father somedayrdquoMy motherrsquos comments settled in andmade me think about what stage of griefI should be visiting as a result of myfailed marriage

ldquoMom donrsquot worry Christian and Iwersquoll be here for you to help you sortthings outrdquo

ldquoI know yoursquove always idolized yourfather and believe me I wonrsquot ever askyou to take sides but I appreciate theshow of support for me It means a lotrdquo

My mother put her head down on thetable and wept All those years of mar-riage and poof all gone like a puff ofsmoke in the air Was my father having amidlife crisis How could he be so selfish

5

I know how it feels to be betrayed by the man you love butit didnrsquot make it any easier to know what to say to my moth-er so I just sat with her rubbing her back drying the tearsfrom her eyes Irsquod wait rsquotil later to tell her about the RockOn Fest Sometime when I knew it would lift her spirits andnot freak her out that Christian and I would be on the roadfor three months while she was left trying to pull her lifeback together

I slipped out of the kitchen and went up to my bedroomIt was exactly the way I had left it before I went off to col-lege Pink walls were covered up with posters of The Beatlesand Madonna and my childhood musical idols Above mydesk a bulletin board was covered with ticket stubs fromconcerts my dried-up prom corsage and my varsity letter fortrack On one wall there was a framed sheet of music withlarge handwritten pencil notes and second-grade lyrics writ-ten in along with the award I won in the Scholastic MusicContest for songwriting It was the first song I ever wroteappropriately titled ldquoSnow Dayrdquo It captured the utter joy anelementary kid felt when she heard the announcement thatschool was canceled due to snow I still was proud that mysong had captured first place in the state competition amilestone that was a turning point in my childhood Winning

that award and my elementary school music teacherMrs Wright had both boosted my self-esteem and

made me believe I could be a songwriter someday I opened the bottom drawer of my desk a flimsy

processed-wood model Sears sold that inhabitednearly every teenage girlrsquos room in the rsquo80s The

bottom draw had a lock and key so little girlscould lock away their love letters diariesand cigarettes The lock was a joke

because any nosy parent could easily pick thelock to discover what their little girls were up to ButI had outsmarted my parents and my desk still had theemergency joints I taped to the top of the drawer Slipping

YYOOGGAA TT--SSHHIIRRTT CCOOMM

my keychain out of my pocket I took the smalltoy key and opened the lock Inside were close to30 sealed yellow bubble-pack envelopesaddressed to Beth Stanley co Angie Carter atthis address all unopened with their original post-marks These 30 envelopes were priceless to meand my motherrsquos news this morning had pro-voked me to finally put them to use I depositedthe envelopes into a bag I took from the kitchenand carefully detached a joint from the deskhoping it would still light

Mom was waiting for me in the kitchen ldquoDidyou get everything you needed out of yourroomrdquo she asked

ldquoYeah plus I found a little something Ithought might make you feel better Itrsquos too earlyto start drinking but you wanna get highrdquo Iasked as I held up the joint

ldquoHell yeahrdquo she said with a grin and it mademe happy to make her smile ldquoIf I knew you hadpot in your room I would have cleaned up theremore oftenrdquo

My mother had turned on the radio and theclassic rock station was playing the songs mymother and father had probably listened towhen they were dating I lit up the joint and letit burn for a while took a drag and handed it

to my mother How hilarious I thought allthose years I hid pot from my par-

ents and now Iwas sitting at the

table smoking a doob with my mom Christianwould shit if she could see us now and I felt kindof bad for not calling her to share in the fun butI was going to savor every minute of this illicitexperience with my mother

ldquoMom did you know that I smoked pot inhigh schoolrdquo I asked

ldquoOf course honeyrdquo she said not missing abeat like smoking pot with your daughter onSunday morning was as natural as making herpancakes for breakfast

ldquoWhy didnrsquot you call me out on itrdquoldquoHow could I stop you from doing something

I did when I was your age We would haveintervened if you were getting out of control butyou had a good head on your shoulders Hellyour father and I were always worried Christianand you would find our stash and smoke itrdquo

ldquoGet out I know you two smoked pot backin the day but you still did it even when I wasolderrdquo I asked as I passed the joint back to mymother She took her time taking her drag and letthe air slowly blow out of her lungs as sheexhaled Clearly she was a seasoned pot smokerwith not even the slightest bit of a cough fromthis dried-out old joint

ldquoDonrsquot you remember those late nights whenyour dad ran down to the corner to get Doritosand chocolate You girls thought it was such aspecial treat when really it was just your fatherhaving a bad case of the munchies Just becauseyoursquore a parent doesnrsquot mean you lose all interestin having funrdquo

My mother reached for a bagel the potmust be working The radio was play-

ing ldquoLucy in the Sky withDiamondsrdquo by The

Beatles and Ithought tomyself What

Beth Stanley

Senior Copywriter

Bryant amp Dane Advertising

22822 Chagrin Blvd

Beachwood Ohio 44122

UUSS PPOOSSTTAAGGEE

PPAAIIDD

BBEEAACCHHWWOOOODD OOHH

4444112222

MMAARR 0088

0022

AAMMOOUUNNTT

4444112222

00000000

0000006611335599--0022

$163

7

The SmokingSectionHere Are a FewRelated Articles

Moms forMarijuana

How to Tell YourParents YouSmoke Marijuana

a perfect song to listen to while you get stoned with your mother Myappropriateness filter had shut down and I was finally able to ask some ofthe questions I knew I couldnrsquot ask earlier ldquoYou and Dad You were so inlove All the dreams So many great times How could he do this to yourdquo

She listened to the music for a while and took her time answeringme but when she did it wasnrsquot an answer but another question ldquoWhydo you think there are no songs for menrdquo

ldquoWhatrdquoldquoThink about it How many love songs do you know that are named

after a manrdquoI thought about it for a moment and maybe it was the pot but

nothing came to mind ldquoI can only think of funny ones like lsquoBad BadLeroy Brownrsquo but nada on the love songsrdquo

ldquoThatrsquos because there are no love songs written for men You shouldknow Yoursquore a songwriter I donrsquot recall you ever writing onerdquo

Mom had touched on something and we both sat and pondered theidea for a while listening to the music on the radio ldquoYoursquore right The bas-tards always end up breaking our hearts before we can even finish the lyricsThatrsquos why so few women have ever had the nerve to write onerdquo

ldquoThey take the best years of our lives do whatever the hell they want toget where they want when they want with no regard for the women wholoved themrdquo my mother said obviously getting back her angry voice

ldquoYou know whatrsquos funny Mom Well funny in a sick way They sayyou marry a man just like your father and that is exactly what I didDad and Cris are exactly alikehellipselfish heartless and neither one gives adamn about what they did to usrdquo

ldquoI just hope what your father did to me will wake you up to the factthat you need to finally leave Crisrdquo

Another kick to the gut and it was true but still hard to hear fromyour mother ldquoMom I know yoursquore going to find this hard to believebut I think some good may come from this I used to be petrified butnow Irsquom ready to fight Crisrdquo

ldquoIrsquoll be here to support you honey Wersquoll get through this togetherWersquore survivorsrdquo

ldquoHey do you think we could find a woman divorce lawyer that will give us a mother-daughter discountrdquo I asked

ldquoWe can try but until then do you have any more pot hiddenupstairs That stuff is goodrdquo

Herersquos a FewGreat Songs forMen

Goodbye Earl

Tyrone

Long John Blues

Johnny Are You Queer

ldquoBring Me To Life ldquoArenrsquot you dying to hear ldquoPick MerdquoCode Cherryrsquos music deserves to be heardand you can make it happen

Help bring the music to life by makinga donation to the Code Cherry RecordingFund Every cent of the donations will gostraight to the kitty to pay the musiciansand recording studio in order to bring thedownloadable song links right here to NoSongs for Men

ldquoRockinrsquo in the Free WorldrdquoWe hope you enjoyed reading thisepisode of No Songs for Men We plan tokeep them coming every few weeksjammed full of Code Cherry escapadesand a few little fun extras for your readingenjoyment Help us Rock On by makinga donationmdashand donrsquot worry no amountis too small Every dollar sent goes to payfor production and maybe a cup oforganic tea for the production team

Want to help but donrsquot want to makea donation Thatrsquos coolmdashyou can doyour part by telling a friend andspreading the word about No Songsfor Men or checking out one of ourawesome advertisers

Thanks and Rock On

band members neededDo you know a woman rocker whowould be great for Code Cherry E-mail us at infomariamedianet

GET YOURCHERRY ON

MERCHANDISE now AVAILABLE AT

SHOP CODE CHERRY

You donrsquot have to stand in line to gettickets for the first show just sign upfor Fan Mail at wwwmariamedianet toreceive alerts on upcoming episodes

Stay tuned the Code Cherry girls willbe back soon to play you the very firstepisode of No Songs for Men

Maria Santoferrarowas born and raised in Northeast OhioAfter graduating fromMarietta College with a degree inadvertising and herentrepreneurial debut of CareerGearshe went on to pursue a glamorouscareer in the field of advertising managing major soft drink condomfast food and diaper brands until shedecided to shuck it all and create NoSongs For Men She loves living in Ohiowith her husband but is working out aplan to split her time and work and playremotely from either a tropical island aski slope Paris or wherever they wantHey a girl can dream This is her firstweb series Visit the authorrsquos websiteat wwwmariamedianet

Book design by JAS Graphicsjasgraphicsbiz

Character illustrations by Renee Lethbridge Design Serviceswwwreneelethbridgecom

Published byMariaMedia LLCCopyright copy 2010 by Maria Santoferraro

Live Laugh Rock and Returnto MariaMedia

RETURN TOmariamedianet

GET YOURCHERRY ON

MERCHANDISE nowAVAILABLE AT

SHOP CODE CHERRY

TM

Page 5: Episode 4 - "Survivor" No Songs for Men

GET YOURCHERRY ON

MERCHANDISE nowAVAILABLE AT

SHOP CODE CHERRY3 3

I noticed that the smell of coffeethe Sunday newspaper littered acrossthe table and the floor my fatherburning the toastmdashall the signs of anormal Sunday morningmdashwereabsent ldquoDid they forget to deliver theSunday paper Is Dad chasing afterthe paper boy againrdquo I asked

ldquoNo thatrsquos not what your dad ischasingrdquo my mother said in a sarcas-tic tone almost under her breath

ldquoWhatrdquoldquoYou better sit down Beth Irsquove

got some news for yourdquoThe hair on the back of my neck

stood up and I slowly slumped downinto the chair across from my motherfeeling the warmth of the bagels pen-etrate from the brown paper bag allthe way through to the sinking feelingin my chest I didnrsquot know what newsmy mother was about to deliver butany animosity I held about my parentsmissing the CD-release party instantlyfaded ldquoMom what is it Yoursquore scar-ing the hell out of merdquo

ldquoIrsquom sorry we didnrsquot make therelease party last night but I was inno shape to come and your fatherwell he has no excusehelliphersquos just atotal bastardrdquo

ldquoMom donrsquot worry about notbeing there just tell me what hap-pened Why are you so pissed atDadrdquo

ldquoYour father came home from abusiness trip last night walked in thedoor sat me down and told me hersquosleavinghelliprdquo

4

My mother was speaking to me but Iwas not picking up what she was throw-ing down I just sat there dumbfoundedmouth open nonresponsive until she wasforced to provide more details

ldquoHe wants a divorce Crazy thingthough told me he still loves me buttherersquos nothing left between us anymoresays therersquos nothing left for himrdquo

I knew my father had been goingthrough some tough times recently Hewas always on the road traveling forwork burned out and struggling to payoff some debts ldquoBut Mom yoursquove beentogether for thirty-four years He canrsquot beserious This is just a temporary thinghersquoll come to his senses and come backrdquo

ldquoBeth please donrsquot be naiumlve with meYou know better than me what husbandsare capable of Hiding things behind yourback lying stealing breaking yourheartrdquo She started to cry and I realizedwhy she had that sadness in her eyesmdashshe had been crying probably since myfather had delivered this news last night

ldquoWherersquos Dad now I want to talk tohimrdquo I said as I dug out the tissues

from my purse for my momHer eyes turned steelyand I knew there mustbe more bad news apart of the story mymother had not hadthe courage to deliveryet I swallowed hardand felt my throat tight-

en up in the back likeit does when Irsquom

trying to keep

from crying ldquoTherersquos another womanBeth Your father is trading me in for anew younger modelrdquo

This information was going to takemore than a few minutes to process Myfather couldnrsquot possibly be capable ofhurting my mother in this way ldquoHow canyou be so calm I canrsquot believe he did thisto yourdquo was all I could think to say

ldquoOh believe me Irsquom taking the EvelynWoods speed course for dealing withgrief Irsquove already visited denial andanger now Irsquom in the bargaining stageIrsquove got to figure out if I can keep thehouse whether I should burn or sell yourfatherrsquos stuff for on eBay who the bestdivorce lawyer ishelliprdquo

ldquoIrsquom afraid to askhelliphow many morestages are thererdquo

ldquoOh just bouts of clinical depressiona brief dabble into pharmaceuticalpainkillers and then either killing or com-ing to terms with your father somedayrdquoMy motherrsquos comments settled in andmade me think about what stage of griefI should be visiting as a result of myfailed marriage

ldquoMom donrsquot worry Christian and Iwersquoll be here for you to help you sortthings outrdquo

ldquoI know yoursquove always idolized yourfather and believe me I wonrsquot ever askyou to take sides but I appreciate theshow of support for me It means a lotrdquo

My mother put her head down on thetable and wept All those years of mar-riage and poof all gone like a puff ofsmoke in the air Was my father having amidlife crisis How could he be so selfish

5

I know how it feels to be betrayed by the man you love butit didnrsquot make it any easier to know what to say to my moth-er so I just sat with her rubbing her back drying the tearsfrom her eyes Irsquod wait rsquotil later to tell her about the RockOn Fest Sometime when I knew it would lift her spirits andnot freak her out that Christian and I would be on the roadfor three months while she was left trying to pull her lifeback together

I slipped out of the kitchen and went up to my bedroomIt was exactly the way I had left it before I went off to col-lege Pink walls were covered up with posters of The Beatlesand Madonna and my childhood musical idols Above mydesk a bulletin board was covered with ticket stubs fromconcerts my dried-up prom corsage and my varsity letter fortrack On one wall there was a framed sheet of music withlarge handwritten pencil notes and second-grade lyrics writ-ten in along with the award I won in the Scholastic MusicContest for songwriting It was the first song I ever wroteappropriately titled ldquoSnow Dayrdquo It captured the utter joy anelementary kid felt when she heard the announcement thatschool was canceled due to snow I still was proud that mysong had captured first place in the state competition amilestone that was a turning point in my childhood Winning

that award and my elementary school music teacherMrs Wright had both boosted my self-esteem and

made me believe I could be a songwriter someday I opened the bottom drawer of my desk a flimsy

processed-wood model Sears sold that inhabitednearly every teenage girlrsquos room in the rsquo80s The

bottom draw had a lock and key so little girlscould lock away their love letters diariesand cigarettes The lock was a joke

because any nosy parent could easily pick thelock to discover what their little girls were up to ButI had outsmarted my parents and my desk still had theemergency joints I taped to the top of the drawer Slipping

YYOOGGAA TT--SSHHIIRRTT CCOOMM

my keychain out of my pocket I took the smalltoy key and opened the lock Inside were close to30 sealed yellow bubble-pack envelopesaddressed to Beth Stanley co Angie Carter atthis address all unopened with their original post-marks These 30 envelopes were priceless to meand my motherrsquos news this morning had pro-voked me to finally put them to use I depositedthe envelopes into a bag I took from the kitchenand carefully detached a joint from the deskhoping it would still light

Mom was waiting for me in the kitchen ldquoDidyou get everything you needed out of yourroomrdquo she asked

ldquoYeah plus I found a little something Ithought might make you feel better Itrsquos too earlyto start drinking but you wanna get highrdquo Iasked as I held up the joint

ldquoHell yeahrdquo she said with a grin and it mademe happy to make her smile ldquoIf I knew you hadpot in your room I would have cleaned up theremore oftenrdquo

My mother had turned on the radio and theclassic rock station was playing the songs mymother and father had probably listened towhen they were dating I lit up the joint and letit burn for a while took a drag and handed it

to my mother How hilarious I thought allthose years I hid pot from my par-

ents and now Iwas sitting at the

table smoking a doob with my mom Christianwould shit if she could see us now and I felt kindof bad for not calling her to share in the fun butI was going to savor every minute of this illicitexperience with my mother

ldquoMom did you know that I smoked pot inhigh schoolrdquo I asked

ldquoOf course honeyrdquo she said not missing abeat like smoking pot with your daughter onSunday morning was as natural as making herpancakes for breakfast

ldquoWhy didnrsquot you call me out on itrdquoldquoHow could I stop you from doing something

I did when I was your age We would haveintervened if you were getting out of control butyou had a good head on your shoulders Hellyour father and I were always worried Christianand you would find our stash and smoke itrdquo

ldquoGet out I know you two smoked pot backin the day but you still did it even when I wasolderrdquo I asked as I passed the joint back to mymother She took her time taking her drag and letthe air slowly blow out of her lungs as sheexhaled Clearly she was a seasoned pot smokerwith not even the slightest bit of a cough fromthis dried-out old joint

ldquoDonrsquot you remember those late nights whenyour dad ran down to the corner to get Doritosand chocolate You girls thought it was such aspecial treat when really it was just your fatherhaving a bad case of the munchies Just becauseyoursquore a parent doesnrsquot mean you lose all interestin having funrdquo

My mother reached for a bagel the potmust be working The radio was play-

ing ldquoLucy in the Sky withDiamondsrdquo by The

Beatles and Ithought tomyself What

Beth Stanley

Senior Copywriter

Bryant amp Dane Advertising

22822 Chagrin Blvd

Beachwood Ohio 44122

UUSS PPOOSSTTAAGGEE

PPAAIIDD

BBEEAACCHHWWOOOODD OOHH

4444112222

MMAARR 0088

0022

AAMMOOUUNNTT

4444112222

00000000

0000006611335599--0022

$163

7

The SmokingSectionHere Are a FewRelated Articles

Moms forMarijuana

How to Tell YourParents YouSmoke Marijuana

a perfect song to listen to while you get stoned with your mother Myappropriateness filter had shut down and I was finally able to ask some ofthe questions I knew I couldnrsquot ask earlier ldquoYou and Dad You were so inlove All the dreams So many great times How could he do this to yourdquo

She listened to the music for a while and took her time answeringme but when she did it wasnrsquot an answer but another question ldquoWhydo you think there are no songs for menrdquo

ldquoWhatrdquoldquoThink about it How many love songs do you know that are named

after a manrdquoI thought about it for a moment and maybe it was the pot but

nothing came to mind ldquoI can only think of funny ones like lsquoBad BadLeroy Brownrsquo but nada on the love songsrdquo

ldquoThatrsquos because there are no love songs written for men You shouldknow Yoursquore a songwriter I donrsquot recall you ever writing onerdquo

Mom had touched on something and we both sat and pondered theidea for a while listening to the music on the radio ldquoYoursquore right The bas-tards always end up breaking our hearts before we can even finish the lyricsThatrsquos why so few women have ever had the nerve to write onerdquo

ldquoThey take the best years of our lives do whatever the hell they want toget where they want when they want with no regard for the women wholoved themrdquo my mother said obviously getting back her angry voice

ldquoYou know whatrsquos funny Mom Well funny in a sick way They sayyou marry a man just like your father and that is exactly what I didDad and Cris are exactly alikehellipselfish heartless and neither one gives adamn about what they did to usrdquo

ldquoI just hope what your father did to me will wake you up to the factthat you need to finally leave Crisrdquo

Another kick to the gut and it was true but still hard to hear fromyour mother ldquoMom I know yoursquore going to find this hard to believebut I think some good may come from this I used to be petrified butnow Irsquom ready to fight Crisrdquo

ldquoIrsquoll be here to support you honey Wersquoll get through this togetherWersquore survivorsrdquo

ldquoHey do you think we could find a woman divorce lawyer that will give us a mother-daughter discountrdquo I asked

ldquoWe can try but until then do you have any more pot hiddenupstairs That stuff is goodrdquo

Herersquos a FewGreat Songs forMen

Goodbye Earl

Tyrone

Long John Blues

Johnny Are You Queer

ldquoBring Me To Life ldquoArenrsquot you dying to hear ldquoPick MerdquoCode Cherryrsquos music deserves to be heardand you can make it happen

Help bring the music to life by makinga donation to the Code Cherry RecordingFund Every cent of the donations will gostraight to the kitty to pay the musiciansand recording studio in order to bring thedownloadable song links right here to NoSongs for Men

ldquoRockinrsquo in the Free WorldrdquoWe hope you enjoyed reading thisepisode of No Songs for Men We plan tokeep them coming every few weeksjammed full of Code Cherry escapadesand a few little fun extras for your readingenjoyment Help us Rock On by makinga donationmdashand donrsquot worry no amountis too small Every dollar sent goes to payfor production and maybe a cup oforganic tea for the production team

Want to help but donrsquot want to makea donation Thatrsquos coolmdashyou can doyour part by telling a friend andspreading the word about No Songsfor Men or checking out one of ourawesome advertisers

Thanks and Rock On

band members neededDo you know a woman rocker whowould be great for Code Cherry E-mail us at infomariamedianet

GET YOURCHERRY ON

MERCHANDISE now AVAILABLE AT

SHOP CODE CHERRY

You donrsquot have to stand in line to gettickets for the first show just sign upfor Fan Mail at wwwmariamedianet toreceive alerts on upcoming episodes

Stay tuned the Code Cherry girls willbe back soon to play you the very firstepisode of No Songs for Men

Maria Santoferrarowas born and raised in Northeast OhioAfter graduating fromMarietta College with a degree inadvertising and herentrepreneurial debut of CareerGearshe went on to pursue a glamorouscareer in the field of advertising managing major soft drink condomfast food and diaper brands until shedecided to shuck it all and create NoSongs For Men She loves living in Ohiowith her husband but is working out aplan to split her time and work and playremotely from either a tropical island aski slope Paris or wherever they wantHey a girl can dream This is her firstweb series Visit the authorrsquos websiteat wwwmariamedianet

Book design by JAS Graphicsjasgraphicsbiz

Character illustrations by Renee Lethbridge Design Serviceswwwreneelethbridgecom

Published byMariaMedia LLCCopyright copy 2010 by Maria Santoferraro

Live Laugh Rock and Returnto MariaMedia

RETURN TOmariamedianet

GET YOURCHERRY ON

MERCHANDISE nowAVAILABLE AT

SHOP CODE CHERRY

TM

Page 6: Episode 4 - "Survivor" No Songs for Men

4

My mother was speaking to me but Iwas not picking up what she was throw-ing down I just sat there dumbfoundedmouth open nonresponsive until she wasforced to provide more details

ldquoHe wants a divorce Crazy thingthough told me he still loves me buttherersquos nothing left between us anymoresays therersquos nothing left for himrdquo

I knew my father had been goingthrough some tough times recently Hewas always on the road traveling forwork burned out and struggling to payoff some debts ldquoBut Mom yoursquove beentogether for thirty-four years He canrsquot beserious This is just a temporary thinghersquoll come to his senses and come backrdquo

ldquoBeth please donrsquot be naiumlve with meYou know better than me what husbandsare capable of Hiding things behind yourback lying stealing breaking yourheartrdquo She started to cry and I realizedwhy she had that sadness in her eyesmdashshe had been crying probably since myfather had delivered this news last night

ldquoWherersquos Dad now I want to talk tohimrdquo I said as I dug out the tissues

from my purse for my momHer eyes turned steelyand I knew there mustbe more bad news apart of the story mymother had not hadthe courage to deliveryet I swallowed hardand felt my throat tight-

en up in the back likeit does when Irsquom

trying to keep

from crying ldquoTherersquos another womanBeth Your father is trading me in for anew younger modelrdquo

This information was going to takemore than a few minutes to process Myfather couldnrsquot possibly be capable ofhurting my mother in this way ldquoHow canyou be so calm I canrsquot believe he did thisto yourdquo was all I could think to say

ldquoOh believe me Irsquom taking the EvelynWoods speed course for dealing withgrief Irsquove already visited denial andanger now Irsquom in the bargaining stageIrsquove got to figure out if I can keep thehouse whether I should burn or sell yourfatherrsquos stuff for on eBay who the bestdivorce lawyer ishelliprdquo

ldquoIrsquom afraid to askhelliphow many morestages are thererdquo

ldquoOh just bouts of clinical depressiona brief dabble into pharmaceuticalpainkillers and then either killing or com-ing to terms with your father somedayrdquoMy motherrsquos comments settled in andmade me think about what stage of griefI should be visiting as a result of myfailed marriage

ldquoMom donrsquot worry Christian and Iwersquoll be here for you to help you sortthings outrdquo

ldquoI know yoursquove always idolized yourfather and believe me I wonrsquot ever askyou to take sides but I appreciate theshow of support for me It means a lotrdquo

My mother put her head down on thetable and wept All those years of mar-riage and poof all gone like a puff ofsmoke in the air Was my father having amidlife crisis How could he be so selfish

5

I know how it feels to be betrayed by the man you love butit didnrsquot make it any easier to know what to say to my moth-er so I just sat with her rubbing her back drying the tearsfrom her eyes Irsquod wait rsquotil later to tell her about the RockOn Fest Sometime when I knew it would lift her spirits andnot freak her out that Christian and I would be on the roadfor three months while she was left trying to pull her lifeback together

I slipped out of the kitchen and went up to my bedroomIt was exactly the way I had left it before I went off to col-lege Pink walls were covered up with posters of The Beatlesand Madonna and my childhood musical idols Above mydesk a bulletin board was covered with ticket stubs fromconcerts my dried-up prom corsage and my varsity letter fortrack On one wall there was a framed sheet of music withlarge handwritten pencil notes and second-grade lyrics writ-ten in along with the award I won in the Scholastic MusicContest for songwriting It was the first song I ever wroteappropriately titled ldquoSnow Dayrdquo It captured the utter joy anelementary kid felt when she heard the announcement thatschool was canceled due to snow I still was proud that mysong had captured first place in the state competition amilestone that was a turning point in my childhood Winning

that award and my elementary school music teacherMrs Wright had both boosted my self-esteem and

made me believe I could be a songwriter someday I opened the bottom drawer of my desk a flimsy

processed-wood model Sears sold that inhabitednearly every teenage girlrsquos room in the rsquo80s The

bottom draw had a lock and key so little girlscould lock away their love letters diariesand cigarettes The lock was a joke

because any nosy parent could easily pick thelock to discover what their little girls were up to ButI had outsmarted my parents and my desk still had theemergency joints I taped to the top of the drawer Slipping

YYOOGGAA TT--SSHHIIRRTT CCOOMM

my keychain out of my pocket I took the smalltoy key and opened the lock Inside were close to30 sealed yellow bubble-pack envelopesaddressed to Beth Stanley co Angie Carter atthis address all unopened with their original post-marks These 30 envelopes were priceless to meand my motherrsquos news this morning had pro-voked me to finally put them to use I depositedthe envelopes into a bag I took from the kitchenand carefully detached a joint from the deskhoping it would still light

Mom was waiting for me in the kitchen ldquoDidyou get everything you needed out of yourroomrdquo she asked

ldquoYeah plus I found a little something Ithought might make you feel better Itrsquos too earlyto start drinking but you wanna get highrdquo Iasked as I held up the joint

ldquoHell yeahrdquo she said with a grin and it mademe happy to make her smile ldquoIf I knew you hadpot in your room I would have cleaned up theremore oftenrdquo

My mother had turned on the radio and theclassic rock station was playing the songs mymother and father had probably listened towhen they were dating I lit up the joint and letit burn for a while took a drag and handed it

to my mother How hilarious I thought allthose years I hid pot from my par-

ents and now Iwas sitting at the

table smoking a doob with my mom Christianwould shit if she could see us now and I felt kindof bad for not calling her to share in the fun butI was going to savor every minute of this illicitexperience with my mother

ldquoMom did you know that I smoked pot inhigh schoolrdquo I asked

ldquoOf course honeyrdquo she said not missing abeat like smoking pot with your daughter onSunday morning was as natural as making herpancakes for breakfast

ldquoWhy didnrsquot you call me out on itrdquoldquoHow could I stop you from doing something

I did when I was your age We would haveintervened if you were getting out of control butyou had a good head on your shoulders Hellyour father and I were always worried Christianand you would find our stash and smoke itrdquo

ldquoGet out I know you two smoked pot backin the day but you still did it even when I wasolderrdquo I asked as I passed the joint back to mymother She took her time taking her drag and letthe air slowly blow out of her lungs as sheexhaled Clearly she was a seasoned pot smokerwith not even the slightest bit of a cough fromthis dried-out old joint

ldquoDonrsquot you remember those late nights whenyour dad ran down to the corner to get Doritosand chocolate You girls thought it was such aspecial treat when really it was just your fatherhaving a bad case of the munchies Just becauseyoursquore a parent doesnrsquot mean you lose all interestin having funrdquo

My mother reached for a bagel the potmust be working The radio was play-

ing ldquoLucy in the Sky withDiamondsrdquo by The

Beatles and Ithought tomyself What

Beth Stanley

Senior Copywriter

Bryant amp Dane Advertising

22822 Chagrin Blvd

Beachwood Ohio 44122

UUSS PPOOSSTTAAGGEE

PPAAIIDD

BBEEAACCHHWWOOOODD OOHH

4444112222

MMAARR 0088

0022

AAMMOOUUNNTT

4444112222

00000000

0000006611335599--0022

$163

7

The SmokingSectionHere Are a FewRelated Articles

Moms forMarijuana

How to Tell YourParents YouSmoke Marijuana

a perfect song to listen to while you get stoned with your mother Myappropriateness filter had shut down and I was finally able to ask some ofthe questions I knew I couldnrsquot ask earlier ldquoYou and Dad You were so inlove All the dreams So many great times How could he do this to yourdquo

She listened to the music for a while and took her time answeringme but when she did it wasnrsquot an answer but another question ldquoWhydo you think there are no songs for menrdquo

ldquoWhatrdquoldquoThink about it How many love songs do you know that are named

after a manrdquoI thought about it for a moment and maybe it was the pot but

nothing came to mind ldquoI can only think of funny ones like lsquoBad BadLeroy Brownrsquo but nada on the love songsrdquo

ldquoThatrsquos because there are no love songs written for men You shouldknow Yoursquore a songwriter I donrsquot recall you ever writing onerdquo

Mom had touched on something and we both sat and pondered theidea for a while listening to the music on the radio ldquoYoursquore right The bas-tards always end up breaking our hearts before we can even finish the lyricsThatrsquos why so few women have ever had the nerve to write onerdquo

ldquoThey take the best years of our lives do whatever the hell they want toget where they want when they want with no regard for the women wholoved themrdquo my mother said obviously getting back her angry voice

ldquoYou know whatrsquos funny Mom Well funny in a sick way They sayyou marry a man just like your father and that is exactly what I didDad and Cris are exactly alikehellipselfish heartless and neither one gives adamn about what they did to usrdquo

ldquoI just hope what your father did to me will wake you up to the factthat you need to finally leave Crisrdquo

Another kick to the gut and it was true but still hard to hear fromyour mother ldquoMom I know yoursquore going to find this hard to believebut I think some good may come from this I used to be petrified butnow Irsquom ready to fight Crisrdquo

ldquoIrsquoll be here to support you honey Wersquoll get through this togetherWersquore survivorsrdquo

ldquoHey do you think we could find a woman divorce lawyer that will give us a mother-daughter discountrdquo I asked

ldquoWe can try but until then do you have any more pot hiddenupstairs That stuff is goodrdquo

Herersquos a FewGreat Songs forMen

Goodbye Earl

Tyrone

Long John Blues

Johnny Are You Queer

ldquoBring Me To Life ldquoArenrsquot you dying to hear ldquoPick MerdquoCode Cherryrsquos music deserves to be heardand you can make it happen

Help bring the music to life by makinga donation to the Code Cherry RecordingFund Every cent of the donations will gostraight to the kitty to pay the musiciansand recording studio in order to bring thedownloadable song links right here to NoSongs for Men

ldquoRockinrsquo in the Free WorldrdquoWe hope you enjoyed reading thisepisode of No Songs for Men We plan tokeep them coming every few weeksjammed full of Code Cherry escapadesand a few little fun extras for your readingenjoyment Help us Rock On by makinga donationmdashand donrsquot worry no amountis too small Every dollar sent goes to payfor production and maybe a cup oforganic tea for the production team

Want to help but donrsquot want to makea donation Thatrsquos coolmdashyou can doyour part by telling a friend andspreading the word about No Songsfor Men or checking out one of ourawesome advertisers

Thanks and Rock On

band members neededDo you know a woman rocker whowould be great for Code Cherry E-mail us at infomariamedianet

GET YOURCHERRY ON

MERCHANDISE now AVAILABLE AT

SHOP CODE CHERRY

You donrsquot have to stand in line to gettickets for the first show just sign upfor Fan Mail at wwwmariamedianet toreceive alerts on upcoming episodes

Stay tuned the Code Cherry girls willbe back soon to play you the very firstepisode of No Songs for Men

Maria Santoferrarowas born and raised in Northeast OhioAfter graduating fromMarietta College with a degree inadvertising and herentrepreneurial debut of CareerGearshe went on to pursue a glamorouscareer in the field of advertising managing major soft drink condomfast food and diaper brands until shedecided to shuck it all and create NoSongs For Men She loves living in Ohiowith her husband but is working out aplan to split her time and work and playremotely from either a tropical island aski slope Paris or wherever they wantHey a girl can dream This is her firstweb series Visit the authorrsquos websiteat wwwmariamedianet

Book design by JAS Graphicsjasgraphicsbiz

Character illustrations by Renee Lethbridge Design Serviceswwwreneelethbridgecom

Published byMariaMedia LLCCopyright copy 2010 by Maria Santoferraro

Live Laugh Rock and Returnto MariaMedia

RETURN TOmariamedianet

GET YOURCHERRY ON

MERCHANDISE nowAVAILABLE AT

SHOP CODE CHERRY

TM

Page 7: Episode 4 - "Survivor" No Songs for Men

5

I know how it feels to be betrayed by the man you love butit didnrsquot make it any easier to know what to say to my moth-er so I just sat with her rubbing her back drying the tearsfrom her eyes Irsquod wait rsquotil later to tell her about the RockOn Fest Sometime when I knew it would lift her spirits andnot freak her out that Christian and I would be on the roadfor three months while she was left trying to pull her lifeback together

I slipped out of the kitchen and went up to my bedroomIt was exactly the way I had left it before I went off to col-lege Pink walls were covered up with posters of The Beatlesand Madonna and my childhood musical idols Above mydesk a bulletin board was covered with ticket stubs fromconcerts my dried-up prom corsage and my varsity letter fortrack On one wall there was a framed sheet of music withlarge handwritten pencil notes and second-grade lyrics writ-ten in along with the award I won in the Scholastic MusicContest for songwriting It was the first song I ever wroteappropriately titled ldquoSnow Dayrdquo It captured the utter joy anelementary kid felt when she heard the announcement thatschool was canceled due to snow I still was proud that mysong had captured first place in the state competition amilestone that was a turning point in my childhood Winning

that award and my elementary school music teacherMrs Wright had both boosted my self-esteem and

made me believe I could be a songwriter someday I opened the bottom drawer of my desk a flimsy

processed-wood model Sears sold that inhabitednearly every teenage girlrsquos room in the rsquo80s The

bottom draw had a lock and key so little girlscould lock away their love letters diariesand cigarettes The lock was a joke

because any nosy parent could easily pick thelock to discover what their little girls were up to ButI had outsmarted my parents and my desk still had theemergency joints I taped to the top of the drawer Slipping

YYOOGGAA TT--SSHHIIRRTT CCOOMM

my keychain out of my pocket I took the smalltoy key and opened the lock Inside were close to30 sealed yellow bubble-pack envelopesaddressed to Beth Stanley co Angie Carter atthis address all unopened with their original post-marks These 30 envelopes were priceless to meand my motherrsquos news this morning had pro-voked me to finally put them to use I depositedthe envelopes into a bag I took from the kitchenand carefully detached a joint from the deskhoping it would still light

Mom was waiting for me in the kitchen ldquoDidyou get everything you needed out of yourroomrdquo she asked

ldquoYeah plus I found a little something Ithought might make you feel better Itrsquos too earlyto start drinking but you wanna get highrdquo Iasked as I held up the joint

ldquoHell yeahrdquo she said with a grin and it mademe happy to make her smile ldquoIf I knew you hadpot in your room I would have cleaned up theremore oftenrdquo

My mother had turned on the radio and theclassic rock station was playing the songs mymother and father had probably listened towhen they were dating I lit up the joint and letit burn for a while took a drag and handed it

to my mother How hilarious I thought allthose years I hid pot from my par-

ents and now Iwas sitting at the

table smoking a doob with my mom Christianwould shit if she could see us now and I felt kindof bad for not calling her to share in the fun butI was going to savor every minute of this illicitexperience with my mother

ldquoMom did you know that I smoked pot inhigh schoolrdquo I asked

ldquoOf course honeyrdquo she said not missing abeat like smoking pot with your daughter onSunday morning was as natural as making herpancakes for breakfast

ldquoWhy didnrsquot you call me out on itrdquoldquoHow could I stop you from doing something

I did when I was your age We would haveintervened if you were getting out of control butyou had a good head on your shoulders Hellyour father and I were always worried Christianand you would find our stash and smoke itrdquo

ldquoGet out I know you two smoked pot backin the day but you still did it even when I wasolderrdquo I asked as I passed the joint back to mymother She took her time taking her drag and letthe air slowly blow out of her lungs as sheexhaled Clearly she was a seasoned pot smokerwith not even the slightest bit of a cough fromthis dried-out old joint

ldquoDonrsquot you remember those late nights whenyour dad ran down to the corner to get Doritosand chocolate You girls thought it was such aspecial treat when really it was just your fatherhaving a bad case of the munchies Just becauseyoursquore a parent doesnrsquot mean you lose all interestin having funrdquo

My mother reached for a bagel the potmust be working The radio was play-

ing ldquoLucy in the Sky withDiamondsrdquo by The

Beatles and Ithought tomyself What

Beth Stanley

Senior Copywriter

Bryant amp Dane Advertising

22822 Chagrin Blvd

Beachwood Ohio 44122

UUSS PPOOSSTTAAGGEE

PPAAIIDD

BBEEAACCHHWWOOOODD OOHH

4444112222

MMAARR 0088

0022

AAMMOOUUNNTT

4444112222

00000000

0000006611335599--0022

$163

7

The SmokingSectionHere Are a FewRelated Articles

Moms forMarijuana

How to Tell YourParents YouSmoke Marijuana

a perfect song to listen to while you get stoned with your mother Myappropriateness filter had shut down and I was finally able to ask some ofthe questions I knew I couldnrsquot ask earlier ldquoYou and Dad You were so inlove All the dreams So many great times How could he do this to yourdquo

She listened to the music for a while and took her time answeringme but when she did it wasnrsquot an answer but another question ldquoWhydo you think there are no songs for menrdquo

ldquoWhatrdquoldquoThink about it How many love songs do you know that are named

after a manrdquoI thought about it for a moment and maybe it was the pot but

nothing came to mind ldquoI can only think of funny ones like lsquoBad BadLeroy Brownrsquo but nada on the love songsrdquo

ldquoThatrsquos because there are no love songs written for men You shouldknow Yoursquore a songwriter I donrsquot recall you ever writing onerdquo

Mom had touched on something and we both sat and pondered theidea for a while listening to the music on the radio ldquoYoursquore right The bas-tards always end up breaking our hearts before we can even finish the lyricsThatrsquos why so few women have ever had the nerve to write onerdquo

ldquoThey take the best years of our lives do whatever the hell they want toget where they want when they want with no regard for the women wholoved themrdquo my mother said obviously getting back her angry voice

ldquoYou know whatrsquos funny Mom Well funny in a sick way They sayyou marry a man just like your father and that is exactly what I didDad and Cris are exactly alikehellipselfish heartless and neither one gives adamn about what they did to usrdquo

ldquoI just hope what your father did to me will wake you up to the factthat you need to finally leave Crisrdquo

Another kick to the gut and it was true but still hard to hear fromyour mother ldquoMom I know yoursquore going to find this hard to believebut I think some good may come from this I used to be petrified butnow Irsquom ready to fight Crisrdquo

ldquoIrsquoll be here to support you honey Wersquoll get through this togetherWersquore survivorsrdquo

ldquoHey do you think we could find a woman divorce lawyer that will give us a mother-daughter discountrdquo I asked

ldquoWe can try but until then do you have any more pot hiddenupstairs That stuff is goodrdquo

Herersquos a FewGreat Songs forMen

Goodbye Earl

Tyrone

Long John Blues

Johnny Are You Queer

ldquoBring Me To Life ldquoArenrsquot you dying to hear ldquoPick MerdquoCode Cherryrsquos music deserves to be heardand you can make it happen

Help bring the music to life by makinga donation to the Code Cherry RecordingFund Every cent of the donations will gostraight to the kitty to pay the musiciansand recording studio in order to bring thedownloadable song links right here to NoSongs for Men

ldquoRockinrsquo in the Free WorldrdquoWe hope you enjoyed reading thisepisode of No Songs for Men We plan tokeep them coming every few weeksjammed full of Code Cherry escapadesand a few little fun extras for your readingenjoyment Help us Rock On by makinga donationmdashand donrsquot worry no amountis too small Every dollar sent goes to payfor production and maybe a cup oforganic tea for the production team

Want to help but donrsquot want to makea donation Thatrsquos coolmdashyou can doyour part by telling a friend andspreading the word about No Songsfor Men or checking out one of ourawesome advertisers

Thanks and Rock On

band members neededDo you know a woman rocker whowould be great for Code Cherry E-mail us at infomariamedianet

GET YOURCHERRY ON

MERCHANDISE now AVAILABLE AT

SHOP CODE CHERRY

You donrsquot have to stand in line to gettickets for the first show just sign upfor Fan Mail at wwwmariamedianet toreceive alerts on upcoming episodes

Stay tuned the Code Cherry girls willbe back soon to play you the very firstepisode of No Songs for Men

Maria Santoferrarowas born and raised in Northeast OhioAfter graduating fromMarietta College with a degree inadvertising and herentrepreneurial debut of CareerGearshe went on to pursue a glamorouscareer in the field of advertising managing major soft drink condomfast food and diaper brands until shedecided to shuck it all and create NoSongs For Men She loves living in Ohiowith her husband but is working out aplan to split her time and work and playremotely from either a tropical island aski slope Paris or wherever they wantHey a girl can dream This is her firstweb series Visit the authorrsquos websiteat wwwmariamedianet

Book design by JAS Graphicsjasgraphicsbiz

Character illustrations by Renee Lethbridge Design Serviceswwwreneelethbridgecom

Published byMariaMedia LLCCopyright copy 2010 by Maria Santoferraro

Live Laugh Rock and Returnto MariaMedia

RETURN TOmariamedianet

GET YOURCHERRY ON

MERCHANDISE nowAVAILABLE AT

SHOP CODE CHERRY

TM

Page 8: Episode 4 - "Survivor" No Songs for Men

my keychain out of my pocket I took the smalltoy key and opened the lock Inside were close to30 sealed yellow bubble-pack envelopesaddressed to Beth Stanley co Angie Carter atthis address all unopened with their original post-marks These 30 envelopes were priceless to meand my motherrsquos news this morning had pro-voked me to finally put them to use I depositedthe envelopes into a bag I took from the kitchenand carefully detached a joint from the deskhoping it would still light

Mom was waiting for me in the kitchen ldquoDidyou get everything you needed out of yourroomrdquo she asked

ldquoYeah plus I found a little something Ithought might make you feel better Itrsquos too earlyto start drinking but you wanna get highrdquo Iasked as I held up the joint

ldquoHell yeahrdquo she said with a grin and it mademe happy to make her smile ldquoIf I knew you hadpot in your room I would have cleaned up theremore oftenrdquo

My mother had turned on the radio and theclassic rock station was playing the songs mymother and father had probably listened towhen they were dating I lit up the joint and letit burn for a while took a drag and handed it

to my mother How hilarious I thought allthose years I hid pot from my par-

ents and now Iwas sitting at the

table smoking a doob with my mom Christianwould shit if she could see us now and I felt kindof bad for not calling her to share in the fun butI was going to savor every minute of this illicitexperience with my mother

ldquoMom did you know that I smoked pot inhigh schoolrdquo I asked

ldquoOf course honeyrdquo she said not missing abeat like smoking pot with your daughter onSunday morning was as natural as making herpancakes for breakfast

ldquoWhy didnrsquot you call me out on itrdquoldquoHow could I stop you from doing something

I did when I was your age We would haveintervened if you were getting out of control butyou had a good head on your shoulders Hellyour father and I were always worried Christianand you would find our stash and smoke itrdquo

ldquoGet out I know you two smoked pot backin the day but you still did it even when I wasolderrdquo I asked as I passed the joint back to mymother She took her time taking her drag and letthe air slowly blow out of her lungs as sheexhaled Clearly she was a seasoned pot smokerwith not even the slightest bit of a cough fromthis dried-out old joint

ldquoDonrsquot you remember those late nights whenyour dad ran down to the corner to get Doritosand chocolate You girls thought it was such aspecial treat when really it was just your fatherhaving a bad case of the munchies Just becauseyoursquore a parent doesnrsquot mean you lose all interestin having funrdquo

My mother reached for a bagel the potmust be working The radio was play-

ing ldquoLucy in the Sky withDiamondsrdquo by The

Beatles and Ithought tomyself What

Beth Stanley

Senior Copywriter

Bryant amp Dane Advertising

22822 Chagrin Blvd

Beachwood Ohio 44122

UUSS PPOOSSTTAAGGEE

PPAAIIDD

BBEEAACCHHWWOOOODD OOHH

4444112222

MMAARR 0088

0022

AAMMOOUUNNTT

4444112222

00000000

0000006611335599--0022

$163

7

The SmokingSectionHere Are a FewRelated Articles

Moms forMarijuana

How to Tell YourParents YouSmoke Marijuana

a perfect song to listen to while you get stoned with your mother Myappropriateness filter had shut down and I was finally able to ask some ofthe questions I knew I couldnrsquot ask earlier ldquoYou and Dad You were so inlove All the dreams So many great times How could he do this to yourdquo

She listened to the music for a while and took her time answeringme but when she did it wasnrsquot an answer but another question ldquoWhydo you think there are no songs for menrdquo

ldquoWhatrdquoldquoThink about it How many love songs do you know that are named

after a manrdquoI thought about it for a moment and maybe it was the pot but

nothing came to mind ldquoI can only think of funny ones like lsquoBad BadLeroy Brownrsquo but nada on the love songsrdquo

ldquoThatrsquos because there are no love songs written for men You shouldknow Yoursquore a songwriter I donrsquot recall you ever writing onerdquo

Mom had touched on something and we both sat and pondered theidea for a while listening to the music on the radio ldquoYoursquore right The bas-tards always end up breaking our hearts before we can even finish the lyricsThatrsquos why so few women have ever had the nerve to write onerdquo

ldquoThey take the best years of our lives do whatever the hell they want toget where they want when they want with no regard for the women wholoved themrdquo my mother said obviously getting back her angry voice

ldquoYou know whatrsquos funny Mom Well funny in a sick way They sayyou marry a man just like your father and that is exactly what I didDad and Cris are exactly alikehellipselfish heartless and neither one gives adamn about what they did to usrdquo

ldquoI just hope what your father did to me will wake you up to the factthat you need to finally leave Crisrdquo

Another kick to the gut and it was true but still hard to hear fromyour mother ldquoMom I know yoursquore going to find this hard to believebut I think some good may come from this I used to be petrified butnow Irsquom ready to fight Crisrdquo

ldquoIrsquoll be here to support you honey Wersquoll get through this togetherWersquore survivorsrdquo

ldquoHey do you think we could find a woman divorce lawyer that will give us a mother-daughter discountrdquo I asked

ldquoWe can try but until then do you have any more pot hiddenupstairs That stuff is goodrdquo

Herersquos a FewGreat Songs forMen

Goodbye Earl

Tyrone

Long John Blues

Johnny Are You Queer

ldquoBring Me To Life ldquoArenrsquot you dying to hear ldquoPick MerdquoCode Cherryrsquos music deserves to be heardand you can make it happen

Help bring the music to life by makinga donation to the Code Cherry RecordingFund Every cent of the donations will gostraight to the kitty to pay the musiciansand recording studio in order to bring thedownloadable song links right here to NoSongs for Men

ldquoRockinrsquo in the Free WorldrdquoWe hope you enjoyed reading thisepisode of No Songs for Men We plan tokeep them coming every few weeksjammed full of Code Cherry escapadesand a few little fun extras for your readingenjoyment Help us Rock On by makinga donationmdashand donrsquot worry no amountis too small Every dollar sent goes to payfor production and maybe a cup oforganic tea for the production team

Want to help but donrsquot want to makea donation Thatrsquos coolmdashyou can doyour part by telling a friend andspreading the word about No Songsfor Men or checking out one of ourawesome advertisers

Thanks and Rock On

band members neededDo you know a woman rocker whowould be great for Code Cherry E-mail us at infomariamedianet

GET YOURCHERRY ON

MERCHANDISE now AVAILABLE AT

SHOP CODE CHERRY

You donrsquot have to stand in line to gettickets for the first show just sign upfor Fan Mail at wwwmariamedianet toreceive alerts on upcoming episodes

Stay tuned the Code Cherry girls willbe back soon to play you the very firstepisode of No Songs for Men

Maria Santoferrarowas born and raised in Northeast OhioAfter graduating fromMarietta College with a degree inadvertising and herentrepreneurial debut of CareerGearshe went on to pursue a glamorouscareer in the field of advertising managing major soft drink condomfast food and diaper brands until shedecided to shuck it all and create NoSongs For Men She loves living in Ohiowith her husband but is working out aplan to split her time and work and playremotely from either a tropical island aski slope Paris or wherever they wantHey a girl can dream This is her firstweb series Visit the authorrsquos websiteat wwwmariamedianet

Book design by JAS Graphicsjasgraphicsbiz

Character illustrations by Renee Lethbridge Design Serviceswwwreneelethbridgecom

Published byMariaMedia LLCCopyright copy 2010 by Maria Santoferraro

Live Laugh Rock and Returnto MariaMedia

RETURN TOmariamedianet

GET YOURCHERRY ON

MERCHANDISE nowAVAILABLE AT

SHOP CODE CHERRY

TM

Page 9: Episode 4 - "Survivor" No Songs for Men

7

The SmokingSectionHere Are a FewRelated Articles

Moms forMarijuana

How to Tell YourParents YouSmoke Marijuana

a perfect song to listen to while you get stoned with your mother Myappropriateness filter had shut down and I was finally able to ask some ofthe questions I knew I couldnrsquot ask earlier ldquoYou and Dad You were so inlove All the dreams So many great times How could he do this to yourdquo

She listened to the music for a while and took her time answeringme but when she did it wasnrsquot an answer but another question ldquoWhydo you think there are no songs for menrdquo

ldquoWhatrdquoldquoThink about it How many love songs do you know that are named

after a manrdquoI thought about it for a moment and maybe it was the pot but

nothing came to mind ldquoI can only think of funny ones like lsquoBad BadLeroy Brownrsquo but nada on the love songsrdquo

ldquoThatrsquos because there are no love songs written for men You shouldknow Yoursquore a songwriter I donrsquot recall you ever writing onerdquo

Mom had touched on something and we both sat and pondered theidea for a while listening to the music on the radio ldquoYoursquore right The bas-tards always end up breaking our hearts before we can even finish the lyricsThatrsquos why so few women have ever had the nerve to write onerdquo

ldquoThey take the best years of our lives do whatever the hell they want toget where they want when they want with no regard for the women wholoved themrdquo my mother said obviously getting back her angry voice

ldquoYou know whatrsquos funny Mom Well funny in a sick way They sayyou marry a man just like your father and that is exactly what I didDad and Cris are exactly alikehellipselfish heartless and neither one gives adamn about what they did to usrdquo

ldquoI just hope what your father did to me will wake you up to the factthat you need to finally leave Crisrdquo

Another kick to the gut and it was true but still hard to hear fromyour mother ldquoMom I know yoursquore going to find this hard to believebut I think some good may come from this I used to be petrified butnow Irsquom ready to fight Crisrdquo

ldquoIrsquoll be here to support you honey Wersquoll get through this togetherWersquore survivorsrdquo

ldquoHey do you think we could find a woman divorce lawyer that will give us a mother-daughter discountrdquo I asked

ldquoWe can try but until then do you have any more pot hiddenupstairs That stuff is goodrdquo

Herersquos a FewGreat Songs forMen

Goodbye Earl

Tyrone

Long John Blues

Johnny Are You Queer

ldquoBring Me To Life ldquoArenrsquot you dying to hear ldquoPick MerdquoCode Cherryrsquos music deserves to be heardand you can make it happen

Help bring the music to life by makinga donation to the Code Cherry RecordingFund Every cent of the donations will gostraight to the kitty to pay the musiciansand recording studio in order to bring thedownloadable song links right here to NoSongs for Men

ldquoRockinrsquo in the Free WorldrdquoWe hope you enjoyed reading thisepisode of No Songs for Men We plan tokeep them coming every few weeksjammed full of Code Cherry escapadesand a few little fun extras for your readingenjoyment Help us Rock On by makinga donationmdashand donrsquot worry no amountis too small Every dollar sent goes to payfor production and maybe a cup oforganic tea for the production team

Want to help but donrsquot want to makea donation Thatrsquos coolmdashyou can doyour part by telling a friend andspreading the word about No Songsfor Men or checking out one of ourawesome advertisers

Thanks and Rock On

band members neededDo you know a woman rocker whowould be great for Code Cherry E-mail us at infomariamedianet

GET YOURCHERRY ON

MERCHANDISE now AVAILABLE AT

SHOP CODE CHERRY

You donrsquot have to stand in line to gettickets for the first show just sign upfor Fan Mail at wwwmariamedianet toreceive alerts on upcoming episodes

Stay tuned the Code Cherry girls willbe back soon to play you the very firstepisode of No Songs for Men

Maria Santoferrarowas born and raised in Northeast OhioAfter graduating fromMarietta College with a degree inadvertising and herentrepreneurial debut of CareerGearshe went on to pursue a glamorouscareer in the field of advertising managing major soft drink condomfast food and diaper brands until shedecided to shuck it all and create NoSongs For Men She loves living in Ohiowith her husband but is working out aplan to split her time and work and playremotely from either a tropical island aski slope Paris or wherever they wantHey a girl can dream This is her firstweb series Visit the authorrsquos websiteat wwwmariamedianet

Book design by JAS Graphicsjasgraphicsbiz

Character illustrations by Renee Lethbridge Design Serviceswwwreneelethbridgecom

Published byMariaMedia LLCCopyright copy 2010 by Maria Santoferraro

Live Laugh Rock and Returnto MariaMedia

RETURN TOmariamedianet

GET YOURCHERRY ON

MERCHANDISE nowAVAILABLE AT

SHOP CODE CHERRY

TM

Page 10: Episode 4 - "Survivor" No Songs for Men

ldquoBring Me To Life ldquoArenrsquot you dying to hear ldquoPick MerdquoCode Cherryrsquos music deserves to be heardand you can make it happen

Help bring the music to life by makinga donation to the Code Cherry RecordingFund Every cent of the donations will gostraight to the kitty to pay the musiciansand recording studio in order to bring thedownloadable song links right here to NoSongs for Men

ldquoRockinrsquo in the Free WorldrdquoWe hope you enjoyed reading thisepisode of No Songs for Men We plan tokeep them coming every few weeksjammed full of Code Cherry escapadesand a few little fun extras for your readingenjoyment Help us Rock On by makinga donationmdashand donrsquot worry no amountis too small Every dollar sent goes to payfor production and maybe a cup oforganic tea for the production team

Want to help but donrsquot want to makea donation Thatrsquos coolmdashyou can doyour part by telling a friend andspreading the word about No Songsfor Men or checking out one of ourawesome advertisers

Thanks and Rock On

band members neededDo you know a woman rocker whowould be great for Code Cherry E-mail us at infomariamedianet

GET YOURCHERRY ON

MERCHANDISE now AVAILABLE AT

SHOP CODE CHERRY

You donrsquot have to stand in line to gettickets for the first show just sign upfor Fan Mail at wwwmariamedianet toreceive alerts on upcoming episodes

Stay tuned the Code Cherry girls willbe back soon to play you the very firstepisode of No Songs for Men

Maria Santoferrarowas born and raised in Northeast OhioAfter graduating fromMarietta College with a degree inadvertising and herentrepreneurial debut of CareerGearshe went on to pursue a glamorouscareer in the field of advertising managing major soft drink condomfast food and diaper brands until shedecided to shuck it all and create NoSongs For Men She loves living in Ohiowith her husband but is working out aplan to split her time and work and playremotely from either a tropical island aski slope Paris or wherever they wantHey a girl can dream This is her firstweb series Visit the authorrsquos websiteat wwwmariamedianet

Book design by JAS Graphicsjasgraphicsbiz

Character illustrations by Renee Lethbridge Design Serviceswwwreneelethbridgecom

Published byMariaMedia LLCCopyright copy 2010 by Maria Santoferraro

Live Laugh Rock and Returnto MariaMedia

RETURN TOmariamedianet

GET YOURCHERRY ON

MERCHANDISE nowAVAILABLE AT

SHOP CODE CHERRY

TM

Page 11: Episode 4 - "Survivor" No Songs for Men

You donrsquot have to stand in line to gettickets for the first show just sign upfor Fan Mail at wwwmariamedianet toreceive alerts on upcoming episodes

Stay tuned the Code Cherry girls willbe back soon to play you the very firstepisode of No Songs for Men

Maria Santoferrarowas born and raised in Northeast OhioAfter graduating fromMarietta College with a degree inadvertising and herentrepreneurial debut of CareerGearshe went on to pursue a glamorouscareer in the field of advertising managing major soft drink condomfast food and diaper brands until shedecided to shuck it all and create NoSongs For Men She loves living in Ohiowith her husband but is working out aplan to split her time and work and playremotely from either a tropical island aski slope Paris or wherever they wantHey a girl can dream This is her firstweb series Visit the authorrsquos websiteat wwwmariamedianet

Book design by JAS Graphicsjasgraphicsbiz

Character illustrations by Renee Lethbridge Design Serviceswwwreneelethbridgecom

Published byMariaMedia LLCCopyright copy 2010 by Maria Santoferraro

Live Laugh Rock and Returnto MariaMedia

RETURN TOmariamedianet

GET YOURCHERRY ON

MERCHANDISE nowAVAILABLE AT

SHOP CODE CHERRY

TM

Page 12: Episode 4 - "Survivor" No Songs for Men

RETURN TOmariamedianet

GET YOURCHERRY ON

MERCHANDISE nowAVAILABLE AT

SHOP CODE CHERRY

TM