Emotional Control and Observation Skills

7/29/2019 Emotional Control and Observation Skills

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How to Use Emotional Controland Observation Skills To

Become a Better Negotiator!

James W. Haile Jr., C.P.M.

Procurement Manager McNeil Nutritionals



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Purpose

• This interactive session will help

you build up your personalcapabilities in managing your

emotions and perceptions toward

achieving your business resultswhen negotiations occur.



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AGENDA

• Negotiation Basics

• Rational Thought and Critical Thinking

• Perception and Observation

• Listening Skills

• Negotiating Hints and Tactics

• Summary and Questions



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Who are We? Why are We

Here?



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Negotiation Basics



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Definitions: Negotiations

• To move or shift a belief, a position or

course of action by creating a new set

of values and behavior by providing

relevant and believable information.

• A discussion of two or more parties’

respective wants and needs which aims

for a mutually satisfying agreement.

• To create a need to obtain a product or

service in exchange for something of

value.



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Creating The Negotiating Environment

to Achieve Profitable Results

• Integrative (aka Win-Win)

Outcomes that is highly acceptable to bothparties

• Distributive (aka Win-Lose & Lose-Win)Outcomes that have one party exceeding

their goals and the other party falling short

of their goals



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Creating The Negotiating Environment to

Achieve Profitable Results

Negotiation is not by definition a process

where one party must win and the other party must lose, although all too often it

ends with that result.



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Creating The Negotiating Environment

to Achieve Profitable Results

• Remember, the objective is to obtainprofitable results.

• The purpose is not to embarrass, stepon or kill the other party!



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Criteria For Excellent Personal and

Professional Behavior

• Emotional Control

• Rational Thought

• Critical Thinking



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What Influences Emotional

Control, Rational Thought and

Critical Thinking?



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Emotions

• Negotiation processes and outcomes maycreate both positive and negative feelings

• Joy, pain, happiness, anger, hate,impatience, competitiveness, bias, goodvibrations, sadness, feeling bad, loss of

face, liking a situation and stubbornnessare some of the emotions that can begenerated.



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Positive Emotional Impact on

Negotiations

• Integrative process more likely to be

exhibited during the negotiations• Creates a positive attitude toward the

other side

• Promotes persistence



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Negative Emotional Impact on

Negotiations

• Leads to a Competitive or Distributive

situation

• May undermine one’s ability to analyze the

situation accurately which adversely

affects desired outcomes

• Negotiators may escalate the conflict

• Parties may feel the need to retaliate and

thus thwart integrative outcomes



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Items that Influence Our Thinking

• Our personal needs

• Our upbringing and experiences• The way we view life

• The value programming that we place

on ourselves and others

• Our personality



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• List five items that some people exhibit or

have that really turn you off

• List five items that some people exhibit or

have that you really admire



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• Gain an understanding of your “likes” and

“dislikes” because these are your “hot buttons”

that can affect your thinking in negative ways

when negotiating• These items can be the color of someone’s

clothes, their manner of speech, words actually

used, the way they sit, the way they shake your

hand, their celebrity status, actions taken, their age or many other characteristics or behaviors.



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• Hot buttons can be good or bad. Examples:

1. That new salesperson is a former professional

athlete who was my idol when I was growingup. I can’t wait until I do business with him

2. He dresses too nicely. Must be making a

fortune!

• Learn how to manage your thinking



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Thinking Drives Behavior Equals Results!

If emotional control and focus is lost,

you will never ACHIEVE your goals and objectives!



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Engaging Your Brain!



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Controlling Your Thoughts and Emotional Responses!

Rational Thought Process

Keep your eyes on the prize. Objectives,

Purpose, Goals, Vision or Mission !

Self remember and Self observe!

InstinctEgo

Focused



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Observation and Perception

What Am I Looking at?



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• What you see is not what you always get?

• Don’t go for the obvious. Ask questionsand challenge!

• Do not be a Surface Observer or Learner.

• Be aware of everything that is around you!• Be Focused! Don’t get faked out of the

game!



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Non-Verbal Observations

• Definition: Any information that your senses

perceive that is not written or spoken

• Examples: Physical Gestures and Attitudes



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• Not looking you in the eyes (mistrust, fear)

• Watching the clock/watch (impatient or

going somewhere)• Yawning (Bored, not focused, inattentive)

• Sitting on edge of seat (paying attention,

interested in what you are saying)

• Arms folded across chest (defensive)



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• Stroking Chin (evaluating)

• Packing their bags (I’m out of here!)

• Stepping aside or backing away(deference)

• Head in palm of hand (bored)

• Hands on Hips (ready, set, go)• Hands behind head and leaning back

(territorially dominant, has answers already)



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Listening Skills



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Why is Listening Important?

• Builds respect and trust!

• Courtesy: Treat people as you want to be

treated!

• Information gathering purposes!

• Understanding and Alignment (U&A)

• Supports creativity, flexibility and quick

thinking on the feet during the negotiations.



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Listening Skills

• Completely focused vs selective listening

• Did you understand what you heard?

• Is the speaker saying one thing, but meaningsomething else? Words and Music aligned?

• Are you talking too much to listen to others?

Silence is Golden!

• Listen, don’t evaluate!



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Listening Skills

• Don’t be distracted by gestures or

mannerisms!

• Be patient and understanding to the

speaker!



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Negotiating Hints and Tactics



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• Make sure that when negotiating, keep all

discussions around the Purpose/Goals of

the meeting. If discussions go off-track,

bring them back to the Purpose/Goals

• Keep the conversation at the

organizational level versus the individual

level. Stay away from the personality andbehavior issues at this time



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• If you reach the “Brink of Insanity”, call for

a caucus with your team. Take a break!

• If you get an impasse or things break

down to a personal level, ask for another

member of their team, as well as your

team to comment or sit in as a straw man

to participate to reduce the personalitytensions.



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• Avoid reacting to “smart remarks”! Stay

focused on the Purpose and your

position. Ignore and disarm them by not

reacting to rants and ill advised remarks.

• Resolve the easy stuff first. If you hit a

snag, move to another item and park the

difficult one for later on in the meeting.



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• When you go back to the difficultitem, determine what this issuemeans in terms of everything else

that has been negotiated.

Ask the question, “How much energy

do you have on this issue?

Negotiate appropriately from there.?



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If the impasse continues, ask these

questions:

-What is the basis for your position on this

issue?

-What is your perceptions or beliefs around

this issue



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Probe their comments with questions that

indicate genuine interest and understanding.

Discuss faulty perceptions/beliefs, as a shiftin time, conditions, resources or faulty facts.

• Share your own beliefs and get him towalk in our shoes. Try to resolve again.



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How to be Successful in Your

Negotiations!



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Summary

• Thinking Drives Behavior Equals Results

• Understand Your Own Emotional Hot Buttons

• Be A Good Listener

• Silence is your Friend

• Be Observant and Understand

• Stay Focused on your Goals

Documents

Emotional Control and Observation Skills