Effective Meeting Basics 411

8/14/2019 Effective Meeting Basics 411

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Effective meeting basicsAn effective meeting is a business meeting that serves certain desired purposes in an

optimal way. While meetings are among the core tools for making things happen in any

organizations, they often consume too much time and resources. The two natural benefits of more effective meetings are:

Better desired outcomes for you and your organization, including higher quality and

quantity of the results from your projects, better decisions, motivation of the people

involved, and so on.

Lower costs in time, energy, and other resources for you and your people, leaving

more of those resources to other mission critical tasks.

To ensure higher effectiveness for your corporate or other business meetings you will needto reevaluate and possibly improve your actions in the following two main areas:

Meeting planning and preparation, covering such critical elements as clarifying the

desired outcomes in an agenda, communicating those objectives to the people

involved, inviting the right people, allowing people to prepare, choosing the proper

time and place, and arranging the necessary technical support.

Conducting meetings, including such meeting management aspects as keeping the

meeting focused, using an effective meeting chair, maintaining atmosphere when all

participants can contribute most effectively, and making sure that all valuable points

are properly captured (in the meeting minutes).

Finally, if you want to improve just one thing this time, then start from being more

selective. Before another meeting is called, ask yourself wether this meeting is worth

everyone's time. Does it really surve any worthwhile purpose? Probably the least effective

meeting to have is the one that has a hidden agenda to simply make an impression of

activity. To create an excuse to procrastinate on or escape from taking the necessary

actions. To substitute activities for accomplishments.


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Effective meeting planning and organizationguidelinesGood meeting planning is a necessary prerequisite for any effective business meeting. Here

are the key considerations and practical tips to guide you through the meeting organization

process.

The first and foremost question to ask before you start planning any meeting is What are

the desired outcomes from that meeting? Clarify the answers and write them down.

Addressing this question first is absolutely critical for anything else you do in connection to

that meeting.

The second critical question is What is the best tool to reach that

outcome? Remember that a meeting is just one of the tools of interpersonal

communication. Like any tool, it serves well for certain situations, but may be inadequate or

inefficient for others. In particular, could any of the objectives of the expected meeting be

better achieved some other way? For example, by sending an email, writing a memo,

having a one-on-one conversation, or just making a decision on your own. Or maybe the

purpose is already obsolete, and your meetings are held just by tradition?

It does not make much difference how well planned is the meeting if that meeting does not

need to be conducted in the first place.

The next important question of meeting planning and organization is Who are the right

people to be at the meeting? Are there any people who are not expected to get any

noticeable benefits or to give any relevant help in this particular meeting? No need to waste

their time. On the other hand, could you invite an additional person who could provide some

helpful expertise, insights, or first hand facts relevant for the meeting purposes?

Decide on the appropriate meeting format . Given the meeting purpose and participants,

would it work better as formal or informal? Public or private? More like a conference with anumber of presentations? Does it have to serve certain corporate regulations?

Who will chair the meeting? The chair person, whether it is you or somebody else, needs

enough authority and ability to keep meeting running smoothly. At the same time, the chair

person should be able to remain neutral and not dominating in conducting the meeting. His

or her focus is on keeping the meeting productive, rather than on just using his role to


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What is planning and why you need to planPlanning is one of the most important project management and time management

techniques. Planning is preparing a sequence of action steps to achieve some specific goal.

If you do it effectively, you can reduce much the necessary time and effort of achieving thegoal.

A plan is like a map. When following a plan, you can always see how much you have

progressed towards your project goal and how far you are from your destination. Knowing

where you are is essential for making good decisions on where to go or what to do next.

One more reason why you need planning is again the 80/20 Rule. It is well established that

for unstructured activities 80 percent of the effort give less than 20 percent of the valuable

outcome. You either spend much time on deciding what to do next, or you are taking manyunnecessary, unfocused, and inefficient steps.

Planning is also crucial for meeting your needs during each action step with your time,

money, or other resources. With careful planning you often can see if at some point you are

likely to face a problem. It is much easier to adjust your plan to avoid or smoothen a

coming crisis, rather than to deal with the crisis when it comes unexpected.

How to write an action planWhen writing an action plan to achieve a particular goal or outcome, you can get much help

from the following steps.

Clarify your goal. Can you get a visual picture of the expected outcome? How can

you see if you have reached your destination? What does make your goal

measurable? What constraints do you have, like the limits on time, money, or other

resources. Write a list of actions. Write down all actions you may need to take to achieve

your goal. At this step focus on generating and writing as many different options and

ideas as possible. Take a sheet of paper and write more and more ideas, just as they

come to your mind. While you are doing this, try not to judge or analyze.


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Analyze, prioritize, and prune. Look at your list of actions. What are the

absolutely necessary and effective steps to achieve your goal? Mark them somehow.

After that, what action items can be dropped from in the plan without significant

consequences for the outcome. Cross them out.

Organize your list into a plan. Decide on the order of your action steps. Startfrom looking at your marked key actions. For each action, what other steps should

be completed before that action? Rearrange your actions and ideas into a sequence

of ordered action steps. Finally, look at your plan once again. Are there any ways to

simplify it even more?

Monitor the execution of your plan and review the plan regularly. How much

have you progressed towards your goal by now? What new information you have

got? Use this information to further adjust and optimize your plan.

Effective Meetings - Tips

The following are some tips to help you make your next meeting successful, effective and

maybe even fun.

Before The Meeting

1. Define the purpose of the meeting.

2. Develop an agenda in cooperation with key participants. See a sample agenda.

3. Distribute the agenda and circulate background material, lengthy documents or articles

prior to the meeting so members will be prepared and feel involved and up-to-date.

4. Choose an appropriate meeting time. Set a time limit and stick to it, if possible.

Remember, members have other commitments. They will be more likely to attend meetings

if you make them productive, predictable and as short as possible.

5. If possible, arrange the room so that members face each other, i.e., a circle or semi-

circle. For large groups, try U-shaped rows.

6. Choose a location suitable to your group's size. Small rooms with too many people get

stuffy and create tension. A larger room is more comfortable and encourages individual

expression.


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7. Use visual aids for interest (e.g., posters, diagrams, etc.). Post a large agenda up front to

which members can refer.

8. Vary meeting places if possible to accommodate different members. Be sure everyone

knows where and when the next meeting will be held.

During The Meeting

1. Greet members and make them feel welcome, even late members when appropriate.

2. If possible, serve light refreshments; they are good icebreakers and make your members

feel special and comfortable.

3. Start on time. End on time.

4. Review the agenda and set priorities for the meeting.

5. Stick to the agenda.

6. Encourage group discussion to get all points of view and ideas. You will have better

quality decisions as well as highly motivated members; they will feel that attending

meetings is worth their while.

7. Encourage feedback. Ideas, activities and commitment to the organization improve whenmembers see their impact on the decision making process.

8. Keep conversation focused on the topic. Feel free to ask for only constructive and non-

repetitive comments. Tactfully end discussions when they are getting nowhere or becoming

destructive or unproductive.

9. Keep minutes of the meeting for future reference in case a question or problem arises.

10. As a leader, be a role model by listening, showing interest, appreciation and confidencein members. Admit mistakes.

11. Summarize agreements reached and end the meeting on a unifying or positive note. For

example, have members volunteer thoughts of things they feel have been good or

successful or reiterate the organization's mission.


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12. Set a date, time and place for the next meeting.

After The Meeting

1. Write up and distribute minutes within 3 or 4 days. Quick action reinforces importance of

meeting and reduces errors of memory.

2. Discuss any problems during the meeting with other officers; come up with ways

improvements can be made.

3. Follow-up on delegation decisions. See that all members understand and carry-out their

responsibilities.

4. Give recognition and appreciation to excellent and timely progress.

5. Put unfinished business on the agenda for the next meeting.

6. Conduct a periodic evaluation of the meetings. Note any areas that can be analyzed and

improved for more productive meetings. See a sample meeting evaluation.

And remember, effective meetings will keep them coming back!

Time management skills and techniquesTime management skills are your abilities to recognize and solve personal time

management problems. The goal of these time management lessons is to show you what

you can do to improve those skills.

With good time management skills you are in control of your time and your life, of your

stress and energy levels. You make progress at work. You are able to maintain balance

between your work, personal, and family lives. You have enough flexibility to respond to

surprises or new opportunities.


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All time management skills are learnable. More than likely you will see much improvement

from simply becoming aware of the essence and causes of common personal time

management problems. With these time management lessons, you can see better which

time management techniques are most relevant for your situation.

Just get started with them. Many of your problems gradually disappear.

If you already know how you should be managing your time, but you still don't do it, don't

give up. What you may be overlooking is the psychological side of your time management

skills, psychological obstacles hidden behind your personality.

Depending on your personal situation, such obstacles may be the primary reason why you

procrastinate, have difficulties saying no, delegating, or making time management

decisions.

The psychological component of your time management skills can also be dealt with. The

time management skills information below will point at a relevant solution for your situation.

Eliminate procrastination

The essence of procrastination is very well reflected in this quote by BernardMeltzer: "Hard work is often the easy work you did not do at the proper time."

Are you affected?

Have you ever seen your most important tasks being put off until later and then later and

later, while you are getting busy with many not so important activities? Did you hope that

you may have more time and better mood in the future to start the task and do it properly?

Does an approaching deadline mean a crisis for you? Do you keep hesitating every time you

make a decision?

If you often see yourself in such low productivity situations, then there is a big chance that

your life got under control of the procrastination habit. And those situations are only the

most explicit symptoms.


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What is it?

A basic definition of procrastination is putting off the things that you should be doing now.

This happens with all of us time after time.

Yet, what makes a big difference for your success is your ability to recognize procrastination

reasons and expressions in their different forms, and to promptly take them under control,

before this bad habit steals your opportunities, damages your career and pride, or destroys

your relationships. So why do not you do it now?

Causes of procrastination

What are typical reasons why you procrastinate? Here are a few

of the most common situations to consider in your anti

procrastination efforts.

It can be as simple as

Waiting for the right mood

Waiting for the right time

Then look at the way you organize your work. You may notice other reasons for

procrastination like

Lack of clear goals

Underestimating the difficulty of the tasks

Underestimating the time required to complete the tasks

Unclear standards for the task outcomes

Feeling as the tasks are imposed on you from outside

Too ambiguous tasks

And there are also many connections with

Underdeveloped decision making skills

Fear of failure or fear of success

Perfectionism


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Time Management Fortress: Free NewsletterHere I would like to invite you to my "Time Management Fortress" , a free newsletter

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time.

Decision making skills and techniquesWe use our decision making skills to solve problems by selecting one course of action from

several possible alternatives. Decision making skills are also a key component of time

management skills.

Decision making can be hard. Almost any decision involves some conflicts or dissatisfaction.

The difficult part is to pick one solution where the positive outcome can outweigh possible

losses. Avoiding decisions often seems easier. Yet, making your own decisions and

accepting the consequences is the only way to stay in control of your time, your success,

and your life. If you want to learn more on how to make a decision, here are some decision

making tips to get you started.

A significant part of decision making skills is in knowing and practicing good decision makingtechniques. One of the most practical decision making techniques can be summarized in

those simple decision making steps:

1. Identify the purpose of your decision. What is exactly the problem to be solved?

Why it should be solved?


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2. Gather information. What factors does the problem involve?

3. Identify the principles to judge the alternatives. What standards and

judgement criteria should the solution meet?

4. Brainstorm and list different possible choices. Generate ideas for possible

solutions. See more on extending your options for your decisions onmy brainstorming tips page.

5. Evaluate each choice in terms of its consequences. Use your standards and

judgement criteria to determine the cons and pros of each alternative.

6. Determine the best alternative. This is much easier after you go through the

above preparation steps.

7. Put the decision into action. Transform your decision into specific plan of action

steps. Execute your plan.

8.Evaluate the outcome of your decision and action steps. What lessons can be learnt? This is an important step for further development of your decision making

skills and judgement.

Final remark. In everyday life we often have to make decisions fast, without enough time to

systematically go through the above action and thinking steps. In such situations the most

effective decision making strategy is to keep an eye on your goals and then let your

intuition suggest you the right choice.

Use a decision tree analysis to systematicallyarrive at your smartest choice

A decision tree is one of the most systematic tools of decision-making theory and practice.

Such trees are particularly helpful in situations of complex multistage decision problems. For

example, when you need to plan and organize a sequence of decisions and take into

account how the choices made at earlier stages and the outcomes of possible external

events determine the types of decisions and events at later stages of that sequence.

A decision making tree is essentially a diagram that represents, in a specially organized

way, the decisions, the main external or other events that introduce uncertainty, as well as

possible outcomes of all those decisions and events.

Here is a schematic example that illustrates the basic elements of decision trees.
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Squares represent decisions you can make. The lines that come out of each square on its

right show all the available distinct options that can be selected at that decision analysis

point.

Circles show various circumstances that have uncertain outcomes (For example, some typesof events that may affect you on a given path). The lines that come out of each circle

denote possible outcomes of that uncontrollable circumstance. Write down above each such

line in the decision tree your best guesses for probabilities (for example, 80% or 0.8) of

those different outcomes.

Each path that can be followed along the decision tree, from left to right, leads to some

specific outcome. You need to describe those end results in terms of your main criteria for

judging the results of your decisions. Ideally, you will assign each end outcome a

quantitative measure of the overall total benefit you will receive from that outcome (you can

express it as a perceived monetary value).

Now you have a complete decision making tree with specific numbers for both the

probabilities of the uncertain events and the benefit measures (desirability) of each end


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result. At this stage the tree can give you more specific recommendation on what would be

your best choices.

In particular, for each choice that you control (at the decision points shown by squares),

you can calculate the overall desirability of that choice. Just sum the benefit measures of all

the end outcomes that can be traced back to that choice (via one path or another),

weighted by the probabilities of the corresponding paths. This will show you the preferred

choice (the one with the highest overall desirability).

If you have more than one decision point, you need to do that calculation for the decisions

that are at the latest stages first. Identify the choice that gives the highest overall

desirability and leave only that branch (removing the decision point). Do the same with the

remaining squares, working your way to the left (to the first decision point in the sequence).

The power of intuition in decision makingAs our life becomes more dynamic and less structured, intuition gains more and more

recognition as an essential decision making tool. You have probably heard of experienced

decision makers who are able to directly recognize the best option or course of action in

many tricky situations. The solution just comes to them from somewhere in their

subconscious mind, instead of being a result a lengthy chain of logical derivations or acomputer output from a complicated Monte Carlo simulation.

Yes, intuition can make you a much more effective decision maker, especially when you deal

with non-standard situations or in expedient decision making. Yet, before you put more

weight on intuitive choices, there are a few important points you need to keep in mind.

When do you need intuition?

Decision making situations where intuitive approach can help most include the following.

Expedient decision making and rapid response are required. The circumstances leave

you no time to go through complete rational analysis. Fast paced change. The factors on which you base your analysis change rapidly.

The problem is poorly structured.


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The factors and rules that you need to take into account are hard to articulate in an

unambiguous way.

You have to deal with ambiguous, incomplete, or conflicting information.

There is no precedent.

What is intuition?First, what do we mean by intuition in the context of decision-making? While different

definitions emphasize different aspects, there are three key features that characterize the

intuitive mode of thinking.

1. The process is dominated by your subconscious mind, even if you use your conscious

mind to formulate or rationalize the final results.

2. The information is processed in parallel rather than sequentially. Instead of going

through a logical sequence of thoughts one by one, you see the situation more as a

whole, with different fragments emerging in parallel.

3. You are more connected with your emotions. For example, it may occur to you that

an option you consider does not feel right, even though there is no clear logic to

prove that.

Intuition versus rational analysis

The main alternative to the intuition-based approach is rational thinking. The rational

decision making process relies mostly on logic and quantitative analysis. You consciouslyanalyze all the options. You formulate the main criteria for judging the expected outcomes

of your options and you assign certain weights to those criteria to reflect their relative

importance. Then, based on the expected outcomes and their weights, you rate your

options by their perceived utility. Finally, you choose the option that has the highest rating.

If, for some options, the expected outcomes involve uncertainty, you will also need to

incorporate in your ratings the perceived probabilities of different possibilities, or even

perform a Monte Carlo simulation.

Rational analysis still plays crucial role in many situations, especially when you have clear

criteria and have to deal with extensive quantitative data, like quantitative finance. Yet, you

will likely face even more business situations where the rational decision making becomes

impractical.


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How it works

The simplest way to make sense of why and how intuition works is to think of it as an

advanced pattern recognition device. Your subconscious mind somehow finds links between

your new situation and various patterns of your past experiences. You may not recall most

of the details of those experiences. And even if you did, it may be very hard to express thelessons you learnt in a form acceptable for analytical reasoning. Yet, your subconscious

mind still remembers the patterns learnt. It can rapidly project your new circumstances

onto those patterns and send you a message of wisdom. That message comes as your inner

voice and will most likely be expressed in the language of your feelings. For example, some

of the options or solutions you consider may not feel right to you.

How to use intuition effectively

The first important thing to keep in mind is that even when you rely on intuition it is still

very important to do your homework. The intuition will help you navigate faster throughmuch of unstructured data and can work around certain gaps and conflicts in the available

information. Yet, even intuition can be misled if too many of your facts are wrong or

missing.

Pay attention to your emotional state. If you are stressed or in a bad mood, your true inner

voice will be distorted or lost in the background of your strong negative feelings. A similar

effect may happen with strong positive feelings. If you want to hear your inner voice, get

over the background of your strong feelings. Feel them through or let them go. Take a walk.

Do something refreshing. Say your prayers. Forgive and accept. Sigh. Unclutter your mind.

Finally, you can greatly increase the quality of your intuitive decisions if you include certain

elements of the analytical approach. In particular, try to follow the procedure of the rational

analysis first. As much as you can, capture on paper the ideas on the main options and the

criteria for evaluating your choices. Write down the key facts and factors you need to keep

in mind.

Following this procedure is an effective way to feed your subconscious mind with all the

relevant data it needs. You will help yourself even more if you put all those notes together

on paper as a mind map. By having all the important points written in one place you will

also uncluttered your mind. At that stage you are much more ready to listen to your inner

voice.


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Enhance your brain power with mind mappingtechniquesMind mapping is a powerful technique for thinking on paper. It can help you greatly in such

tasks as

goal setting (goal mind mapping)

project planning

organizing information for decision making

studying new subjects or preparing for an exam

preparing an oral presentation or writing an article or report

note taking

brainstorming

and many other think on paper types of situations.

Special role in the development and popularization of mind mapping techniques for

unleashing mind powers belongs to Tony Buzan, who is one of the leading authorities on

learning techniques.

The rationale for the use of mind maps or concept maps comes from a deeper

understanding of how the brain works with information. Unlike a traditional computer, your

brain does not process or organize information in linear sequences. Instead it naturally

operates with networks of associations between various ideas. If you present information as

a visual network, rather than a linear list, you will greatly enhance you mind powers to

digest that information. You will also stimulate synergy of the left and right sides of your

brain.

To create a concept map you can proceed in the following way. Take a sheet of paper and

put in the middle the central concept of your topic of focus. For example, in the case of goal

setting it can be the overall direction of your goals. Ideally, represent that concept as acombination of words and an image. Then, starting from that central concept, draw lines to

the sides to represent the main related sub categories for your mind map topic. Take one

main keyword that you associate with each sub topic and print it in capitals over one of

those lines. When you are done with those sub categories, continue the process of

branching out lower level sub concepts. Draw lines from the end of each line from the


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previous stage and, as before, mark those lines with the main keywords that distinguish

those concepts.

One variation of the technique is to put sub concepts as a network of bubbles connected

with lines. The keywords are placed inside the bubbles rather than on the lines.

You can enhance the visual power of your mind maps by putting images near some of the

concepts. You can also benefit from using colors for better grouping of the related sub

concepts.

In contrast to a linear list of text, a graphic concept map clearly represents relative

importance of different sub concepts (by how far they are from the center) as well as how

much they are related to each other (by their proximity on paper). Mind map is also easier

to extend than a continuous text. When you need to add a new concept, just find somespace to branch out a new line.

While such visual exercise can be done on paper, there are also a few graphic mind

mapping software tools that could streamline the process. Mind mapping software programs

greatly simplify visual map creation as well as management, especially when you need to

modify, store, and organize your mind maps on a regular basis.

How to use a decision matrix to streamlineyour decision making process

Decision matrix is one of the simplest decision making techniques. You identify the key

elements of your decision making situation. You assign each such element a special number

(score). You then put those numbers into a special table and use a simple calculation to tell

you which choice is the best.

This allows you to process a complex decision on paper, one byte at a time, without chokingyour mind with too many details at the same time. A decision making matrix also makes it

easier for you to comprehend the bigger picture of your situation.

To build a decision matrix you first need to decompose your decision making context into its

basic elements, its building blocks. There are two main types of such building blocks. The


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first type is your options or alternatives from which you are choosing. Write those down.

You may want to extend your options further by taking another sheet of paper and going

through a brainstorming exercise.

The second type of decision elements is the selection criteria you can use for judging

your options. For example, various kinds of costs or losses, as well as benefits (in terms of

money, time savings, health, fun, and so on). Think carefully about those and list all of

them on paper. Look at them again. Can you make them more clear and specific? Are you

missing any other relevant factors?

Now you can make the first step in converting your decision context into numbers. In

particular, based on your feeling of the relative importance of different factors, assign each

judgment criterion (selection factor) some weight of importance. Just pick some numerical

scale, lets say 1 to 5. Then use that scale for weighing the importance of each criterion.The more important a given factor feels to you, the higher number you give it, within your

chosen range.

Next use your lists to start a weighted decision matrix table. The rows and columns of the

table correspond to your judgment criteria and options/alternatives, respectively. The first

column lists all selection criteria. The second column lists the importance weights of the

corresponding criteria. Then each additional column will describe your alternatives. Put the

names of the alternatives across the top of the weighted matrix as column headings.

Score your alternatives. Again choose some range/scale, like 0 to 5, or 0 to 100. The

roughest scoring system could be 1, 0, 1 (positive impact, negative impact, and does

not matter). Now go alternative by alternative (columns), and then criterion by criterion

(rows), and put some score at each table cell. The score should reflect your best judgment,

based on your feelings and knowledge, of the benefits of a given alternative in terms of a

given selection criterion.

Now based on all those numbers you can calculate the total score (overall desirability) of

each alternative in the weighted decision making matrix. For each alternative (column) in

the table, multiply all scores by the corresponding weights of importance (from the second

left column), and then sum those weighted scores together. This one number will be the

total score/desirability of a given alternative. Put such numbers in an extra row at the

bottom of the table.


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Finally, the alternative that has the highest total score is your decision matrixs conclusion

on what is your best choice.

Review of Decision-Making Skills*

Skill Explanation Examples of Use

Frame a decision inseveral ways toconsider differentsorts of alternatives

The deliberate use of different ways of phrasing adecision that needs to bemade

Changing the wording in adecision, such as "How can weprovide low-cost health care toeveryone?" to "How can wereduce the cost of quality healthcare?"

Generatealternatives

Coming up with severalpossible ways to satisfy thegoals of the decision

Two possible alternatives are: 1)provide incentives to keep healthcare costs down, 2) add basicmedical information to highschool curricula

Evaluate theconsequences of various alternatives

Thinking through likely andunlikely results of differentalternative solutions

The incentive system for healthcare might reduce the quality of care. Giving everyone betterhealth education could preventsome illness.

Recognize the bias inhindsight analysis

Hindsight analysis is thereevaluation of a decisionafter its consequences areknown

After a parolee kills someone,many people want to fire theparole board. CT recognizes thatthe decision may have beenreasonable at the time it was

made, regardless of pooroutcome.

Use a decision-making worksheet

A procedure for listingalternatives and importantconsiderations and thencalculating a decision

In deciding what to do about arevolution, the leaders could listpossible actions, analyze andweigh them, and then calculate adecision.

Avoid the Entrapment occurs when a Shana decides to stick with her


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entrapment biascourse of action requiresadditional investmentsbeyond those already made.

boyfriend who treats her badlybecause she has alreadyinvested several years of timeand energy in the relationship.

Seek disconfirmingevidence

There is a pervasive bias toseek information thatconfirms what we believe tobe true, and to ignore orminimize evidence to thecontrary.

Make a conscious effort to find

information that would notsupport the dicision to havechildren when you are inclined tohave children.

Be aware of theeffects of memory ondecisions

We generate alternativesand decisions that we caneasily recall.

Seek a variety of input whendeciding which college to attend.

*Summarized from Halpern, Thinking Critically About CriticalThinking, Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, 1996.

Build coping skills to withstand life'schallenges

Your coping skills are your ability to handle life's challenges in the most effective ways,

maximizing your chances of success or survival, and minimizing the damages and other

negative consequences. There is a virtually unlimited spectrum of difficult, or even

potentially devastating, situations that life could hit you with, sooner or later. It may be aserious illness or chronic pain, an abusive relationship, divorce, big financial loss, burnout,

business or career failure, a child with ADHD or autism, and so on. It could be a one time

blow, like a loss of loved one, or it could be something that stays a big challenge for many

years, even for life, without giving you much of break.

Will you be lost and destroyed under stress or will you have strong enough coping skills to

stay in control and do the best that can be done? Will you have the resiliency to come out

stronger than you ever were?

While some of the coping skills and strategies (or rather tactics) are specific to the type of

challenges you are facing, the most important of those skills are fairly universal. Your ability

to cope well and stay in control depends most on your strengths in the following two areas:

your actions,


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your emotions.

Fortunately, there are certain skills and coping strategies you can build or improve that

could make you much stronger in each of those areas.

Your actions

Nearly in every challenging situation there is a number of specific actions you could do to

reach a successful resolution or to ease the pain and minimize damages. Your effectiveness

in that will mainly be determined by your thinking skills and abilities. For example, if there

is no reasonable alternative in sight then you need to unlock your creativity to think laterally

and brainstorm some options. If there are too many options and difficult trade-offs then you

need your judgment and your decision making skills to select the best course of action.

Finally, you most likely have only limited time and resources to realize that course. Hence

you depend on good planning and time management skills to develop and execute a goodplan.

Maybe you were content with your level of such thinking and coping skills in quiet times.

But now there is a complication. When faced with outstanding challenges you are often in

situations of high emotional arousal, under stress. And, as you may have already realized,

high emotional arousal can significantly distort our thinking, and very often not to our

advantage. How do you deal with that?

A good line of defense is to learn and use more systematic thinking strategies. Think onpaper, as much as possible. Learn to think on paper ("paper" could be a text file on your

computer). Instead of agonizing or letting your mind race, take a deep breath and jot down

your main thoughts. Brainstorm on paper. Follow a sequence of systematic decision making

steps, on paper. Go as far as you can with that (even if your switch to pure intuition in the

end). The more you practice that, the more robust and uncluttered your thinking will be.

Finally, for situations when you need to make quick decisions on the fly, your intuition is

probably your best guide, if you learn to tell apart its voice from the noises of the stressful

moments (You can strengthen this ability in the course of working on your emotional

intelligence skills).


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Your emotions

Understanding how to adequately handle your emotions, your emotional intelligence, is an

absolutely critical aspect of coping skills. Emotions are essentially messages from your inner

brain to your consciousness. Those messages use a different language than your thoughts,

the language of physical sensations in your body. That language is more powerful, direct,

and efficient than thoughts in communicating certain types of information that are critical

for your survival.

Your emotions can carry valuable clues for finding solutions and navigating through the

most difficult problems you may face, if you learn to read them properly. However, like any

concentrated power, emotions can turn highly destructive if mishandled.

There are two main ways how your emotions can work as destructive power against you.

First, they can cloud or totally block your thinking, decision making, and creative abilities.

Those abilities that you may need most to resolve the threatening situation. They can

paralyze your actions. Instead of being keenly aware of your emotions of the moment and

accepting them as nothing more as messengers you could fall into the trap of letting them

overwhelm you and take full control of your thoughts and actions.

The second destructive force, which is a longer-term effect, comes from emotions that were

left unresolved, from the past. Those emotions pile up with time, like unhandled mail,somewhere in the background, underneath your mind. They become toxic waste that keeps

draining your energy, narrows your thinking, makes you apathic or drives you to self-

destruction. That emotional baggage can hold you back in life and take a heavy toll on your

health.

How do you prevent your emotions from turning into your enemy? One of the main

strategies is to work on developing your emotional intelligence. Your level of emotional

intelligence is not something you are just born with. You can systematically build it, but it

takes some time and work.

The first necessary step on that path is gaining a good knowledge base on that topic, mainly

through reading. In the process, you can use your growing base for identifying and critically

reassessing your beliefs about emotions and your relationship with them. There is much

more to it than may seem on the surface.


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Recommended reading for developing copingskillsHere is our very selective picks for what would be some of the most insightful and practical

books that can help you strengthen your ability to cope with lifes challenges. They can also

help you move faster to success in any area.

Survivor Personality by Al Siebert

A very good starting point and overall map for developing coping skills and resiliency. Dr. Al

Siebert, a psychologist, has devoted over 40 years of his life to studying survivors, people

who were able to live through and rise from life situations where most perish or fail, from

death camps and incurable illnesses to a wide range of other scenarios of devastatingchange. It appears that, beneath the surface, those people often share a number of key

traits in their thinking and approaches to life. Surprisingly, many of those traits are not

quite what you would expect from common stereotypes of survivors. The insights of this

book can drastically change how you go about challenges in your life.

Raising Your Emotional Intelligence: A Practical Guide by Jeanne S. Segal

In coping with change or other lifes challenges, your emotions can be your best friend or

your worst enemy. They can navigate you through the darkness and give you critical clues

for problem resolution, but they also have the power to override and block your thinking

and paralyze whatever other coping skills and strategies you may have, depending on your

level of emotional intelligence. This book is a good starting point and base for building

strengths on the emotional components of the coping skills.
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Time log techniquesTime tracking with a time log is much more than a boring exercise in book keeping. If you

approach it right, it will become a very effective time management learning tool . A few

minutes of writing and analyzing your time and activity logs will eliminate many hours of wasted time.

Embrace the reality of your personal time

Unless this has already happen to you before, your time log is more than likely to surprise

you. You will see how much time is wasted in many unexpected ways. Often it appears that

the busier you feel the more time is wasted.

Another important discovery is how much time things really take. One of the most commonproblems in personal time management is underestimating the time needed for each

specific activity. First this is one of the reasons why planning and scheduling do not seem

work well for some people. If you always expect much more than you can fit in your time,

than writing plans and to do lists just gets you more stressed.

Get a realistic picture of your time and you will feel much more in control. In fact, you will

move much faster with less stress.

Preparing and writing your time logYou don't need to keep writing a time log permanently. It is sufficient to do it for 3-7 days,

and repeat this procedure time after time. Yet, when you write a time log, make sure you

don't miss any even minor activity. Don't let your time wasters to hide there. So that not to

waste much time on writing time tracking records, take a little preparation step. Take a

sheet of paper and divide it into columns named like

Time

Activities

Scheduled

Interrupted

Urgent

People (involved)


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Then continue with activities you would normally do that day. On the way, update your time

log. Do it either every time you switch to new activity or at some short time intervals, like

10-20 minutes. Add entries to your "Time" and "Activities" column, and try to put marks like

"Yes" or "No" in the "Scheduled", "Interrupted", and "Urgent" columns. Where relevant,

make short notes on what people you spend time with too.

What does your time log tell you?

When you have your time log written, you can move to the most important part, the

analysis. Review your records and try to get answers to the following questions.

What percentage of your time is spent in each of different areas of your life? How is

it divided between Work, Business, Family, Recreational, Spiritual, Health?

What percentage of your activities are important?

Are urgent? What people you spend more time with?

What percentage of your activities go as planned?

What are main interruptions?

Then think of possible adjustments and action steps. For example:

Are there any activities you can cut back on?

Is there anything you can delegate or simplify?

Can you save time by grouping related tasks, like shopping?

It will get you over the psychological barrier

Have you ever tried to convince anyone to change their view of him- or herself? Was it

easy? We often feel resistance to external judgments of our personality or habits. It is much

easier to accept a change if we discover things for ourselves, if the judgment is our own.

Something similar happens with time spending habits. When you discover how you really

spend your time, and do it yourself from your own time log, you will feel much more

comfortable when changing your time management attitudes and habits.


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Advantages of a personal digital assistant( PDA )

A personal digital assistant ( PDA ) allows you to efficiently access, organize, collect, store,

and process various kinds of information, and work with it on the run. It is small in size, like

a pocket calculator or a pocket address book. Being a hand-held electronic device, it is

designed to fit your palm as easily as your pocket. Unlike an ordinary computer, it is

always with you.

Yet, a handheld PDA is much smarter than most pocket electronic devices and time

management tools. It is a computer with a powerful processor and quite a large chunk of

memory, like 8-128 Mb. A PDA allows you to run any of thousands of various kinds of

software applications currently available for it.

You can easily communicate with a PDA via its oversized interactive screen area, its

special pen (the stylus) for touching that screen, and support of a few extra buttons at its

bottom. A PDA often can recognize your hand writing.

Basic functionality of a PDA is to store and retrieve phone numbers and addresses ,

maintain a to do list and a calendar. It is also a memo pad for taking notes at meetings, as

well as for capturing ideas, observations, and personal comments.

There are two main features that put a hand-held PDA much above a basic personal

organizer. One is its ability to be connected and communicate with many other electronic

devices, like a PC or digital camera. The other is the extensive abilities of the pda software.

Together with the third, the "always with you" feature, all this combines into a powerful and

versatile personal assistant.

So, the first important point is that you can connect a PDA to other electronic devices ,

though sometimes it may require additional PDA accessories. That allows you to work with a

larger variety of data, much beyond of what you can just type in into a basic personalorganizer. In particular, many PDAs can be connected to your PC for a data or file

exchange. You can add the information you've collected with a PDA to some central

database or to a report that you do on your PC. You can also get more information into your

PDA from your PC, for example, from internet downloads (e-books or newspaper files) or
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other files. Another common situation is to get into your PDA images from your digital

camera .

It is also important that two PDAs can talk directly to each other via infrared signals

("beaming"), which allows an easy exchange of information, for example, exchange of

business cards , without typing anything in. This is particularly convenient when working in

a team. For example, if one of the team members has collected certain important data and

made updates for himself or herself, those updates can be distributed among all team

members via beaming. This is one of the reasons why many business owners buy PDAs for

their employees.

As for PDA software applications, they include word processing, spreadsheets, games,

money management, weight or fitness monitoring, electronic book reading programs,

street map PDA software, bible software, a Power Point presenter and many more. Somefor general users, some for more specialized professional groups, like car salespeople, real

estate agents, medical doctors, or lawyers. Some PDAs allow e-mail and internet

access , while on many others you can prepare e-mails on a PDA but send them later, when

you connect to your PC. Some of that software may already be installed on your PDA when

you by it. Often you need to buy or download it from the internet, sometimes for free.

Note that, in combination, all those possibilities of exchanging information and keeping

electronic files and software on your PDA greatly reduce the amount of paper (document

and reference printouts, various notes) you need to shuffle and carry around.

What about security concerns? With a PDA you can do a regular backup of your PDA held

data onto your PC. So, security-wise, a PDA still beats paper systems.


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Pda comparison tips: Choosing the best pdafor you

Before you move on to pda comparison charts and start reading pda reviews, it is important

that you prepare yourself first.

Start by clarifying your personal needs and getting the overall picture of various pda

features and their relevance for you. Without such a picture you may be misled by some

pda comparison charts that are limited to only most obvious, but often not most relevant,

pda characteristics, or that only emphasize the strongest features of the specific handheld

computer brand they are promoting.

Note that a simple pda rating by price is not a good strategy in finding the best pda. The

most expensive pda may actually appear the worst for your personal needs. You may be

paying a lot for features that you don't use, or, even worse, for features that only make

your every day pda use more complicated and less convenient.

First, think about, or even write down, your different expectations for how a pda could help

you in your every day activities. Prioritize. Which of those expected benefits are most

important for you and you are most likely to use in practice? For example:

Do you want to have an effective personal organizer for your appointments, plans,

and contacts?

Do you also want to run certain software relevant for your business? (Like a

database of real estate or customer information) Do you want to minimize distractions or would rather turn your pda into a portable

entertainment center?

Do you need to check your email from a pda? Or you come by your desktop or laptop

computer often enough to do it more conveniently from there? The same question

for pda internet browsing? (Note that pda internet browsing convenience is relatively

far from that on an ordinary computer, due to much smaller screen) Or maybe you just like the feeling of having all the newest technology advances in

your hand held computer, no matter that you use them only occasionally, if ever?

Have you ever used any hand held computer before? If yes, what can you learn from that

experience? What features worked best for you? If this is your first pda, it is wise to go


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more conservatively and start from a more basic model. If needed you can always move to

more advanced models later, as you learn and as you clarify your specific needs and tastes

from experience.

Need wireless connectivity?If you want to check emails, browse the internet, or connect to remote computers from your

pda, you need a wireless enabled piece. The main kinds of options are BlueTooth, wireless

ethernet (Wi-Fi), and a cellular phone type (like GSM or PCD).

BlueTooth is the simplest and most short range option: you can connect to another

computer in the same room or to a BlueTooth enabled cell phone, and then connect to the

internet via those devices.

Wireless ethernet is still short range (within 300 feet or less) and allows you to connect toonly non-mobile local network or computer, not to a cell phone. Wireless ethernet also

consumes more battery power.

Finally, there is also a cell phone type wireless connection (like GSM or PCS). The type of

wireless connection is included in most pda comparison tables or charts.

Note that there are also pdas that are integrated with cell phones. How convenient is such a

practice depends much on your personal situation.

Storage

Pda memory size is another commonly used parameter in pda comparison. Most of the

currently available Palm OS handheld computers have more than enough storage for basic

organizing purposes, like appointments, to do lists, and contact information, and for at least

a limited set of additional helpful software. You will need more storage if you plan to use

memory demanding software or large databases.

In some cases, like when dealing with many mp3 files, it may be more practical to use a

removable memory card (like memory stick or SD card). Check whether the pda you are

about to buy has a removable memory card slot (this is also typically mentioned in pda

comparison tables).


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Display quality

While pda comparison tables typically focus on if the display is color or monochrome, it is

often more important how readable the display is, and not only under normal lighting

conditions, but also in sun light and in the dark.

For pda comparison purposes, another important characteristic of the display is its

resolution. Higher resolution displays, such as those on Sony Clie pdas, allow more

information to be shown at a time, as well as give higher quality images.

Weight, thickness, and feel

Also think about where are you most likely to carry your handheld. Always in your bag or

briefcase, or rather in your pocket? Most likely, not any pda will easily fit in your pocket.

And the heavier and larger the device, the less likely you are to take it with you.

On the other hand, it is also important how your handheld feels in your hand. It may appear

that the pda is too thin for your hand to hold it comfortably. Have a look and try!


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Prioritizing effectivelyPrioritizing skills are your ability to see what tasks are more important at each moment and

give those tasks more of your attention, energy, and time. You focus on what is important

at the expense of lower value activities.

C. Ray Johnson, in one of the final chapters of his book CEO Logic : How to Think and Act

Like a Chief Executive , summarizes: "Prioritizing is the answer to time management

problems - not computers, efficiency experts, or matrix scheduling. You do not need to do

work faster or to eliminate gaps in productivity to make better use of your time. You need

to spend more time on the right things..."

We all have many things to do, and we never have time and

energy to do them all. We don't have time and resources to dothem equally well either. Many things will be left undone, no

matter how hard you try. Prioritizing is a way to solve that

frustrating problem.

One key reason why prioritizing works, and works well, is the

80/20 Rule. The 80/20 Rule states that 80 percent of our typical activities contribute less

than 20 percent to the value of our work.

So, if you do only the most important 20 percent of your tasks you still get most of the

value. Then, if you focus most of your efforts on those top value activities, you achieve

much more than before, or you will have more time to spend with your family.

Prioritizing is about making choices of what to do and what not to do. To prioritize

effectively you need to be able to recognize what is important, as well as to see the

difference between urgent and important.

The important, or high priority, tasks are the tasks that help us achieve our long-term goals

or can have other meaningful and significant long-term consequences.

At first glance, many of the tasks we face during a day seem equally urgent and important.

Yet, if you take a closer look, you will see that many of the urgent activities we are involved

are not really important in the long run. At the same time, things that are most important
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for us, like improving ourselves and our skills, getting a better education, spending time

with family, often are not urgent.

With good prioritizing skills, you finish as soon as possible all the important urgent tasks,

the ones that would get you into a crisis or trouble otherwise. Then, you focus your

attention and try to give more and more time to those most important, but not urgent

tasks, the ones that are most rewarding in the long run.

Prioritizing principles can be applied to both planned and unplanned activities.

For planned activities, like the ones included in your to do list, you can mark each of your

tasks with "A", "B", or "C", depending on its importance. The "B" tasks should be done only

after you are finished with all the most important "A" tasks, the ones that just must be

done. If you have time after you are finished with the "B" tasks, you can move on to the "C"ones.

When you set priorities in to do lists, also keep asking yourself if any of your tasks can be

eliminated or delegated.

When you prioritize unplanned activities, you often need to make quick decisions, and you

don't have time to analyze the situation in full. It is best just to keep in mind your goals and

rely on your instincts. Your effectiveness in such situations depends very much on the

clarity of your goals.

Effective delegation skill

Delegation skill is the ability to effectively assign task responsibility and authority to others.

Or, in other words, delegation skill is your ability to get things done by using work and time

of other people.

Effective delegation is a critical survival skill for managers and supervisors, and this is

what many delegation training resources are about. Yet, what is less often emphasized is

that understanding delegation skill and knowing how to use it right is an

important personal time management skill . No matter if you have subordinates or

bosses, if it is at work or at home.


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Do you have to do everything yourself?

The delegation process normally starts from asking yourself if you are the right person to do

the task, and then who is the right person for this task. A common trap here is thinking

like "If you want anything done right, you have to do it yourself". Such thinking is a sure

way to stay overloaded with the same kind of work. It is a severe limit on how far you cango and how much you can grow in your job, business, or personal life.

Who should do it then?

The first important component of the delegation skill is choosing the right person to

delegate the task to ( delegatee ).

You can use the following simple strategies. First, if you have subordinates, can any of them

do the task at lower cost than you? If you are concerned with that they do it worse than

you, can they do it at least 80 percent as good as you would, or could you train them to doit so?

If the task requires making decisions you are not authorized to make, when it is very right

to delegate it to your boss .

Find a win-win deal

Outside the standard boss-subordinate situation, a key component of the delegation skill is

the ability to find a win-win deal , and still delegate the task to someone.

A common win-win situation is when delegating the task saves your time and gives a

valuable learning experience, skill training, or an interesting opportunity for the delegatee.

One more situation is task or service exchange, when someone does a task for you in

exchange for that you do another task for her/him. Finally, it may be more effective just to

buy some particular service from outside, or delegate the task to technologies, for example,

to some special software.

You still have responsibilities

For your delegation skill to work, make sure that you will be able to monitor the progress of

task execution and know if the task is actually completed. When you delegate, normally you

are still responsible for that the task is completed . Avoid delegation when you are

unable to monitor the completion status.


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Yet, delegate the whole task

What you live to the delegatee is the responsibility for how the task is executed , the

method of execution. When you do this, for the delegation to be effective it is important

that you delegate the whole task . You need to effectively and clearly communicate to the

delegatee what outcome is expected and what requirement are for the task results.

This is very important for the delegatee's motivation and performance, as well as for your

satisfaction with the task results.

Team work and team building essentials

Team building skills are critical for your effectiveness as a manager or entrepreneur. And

even if you are not in a management or leadership role yet, better understanding of team

work can make you a more effective employee and give you an extra edge in your corporate

office.

A team building success is when your team can accomplish something much bigger and

work more effectively than a group of the same individuals working on their own. You have

a strong synergy of individual contributions. But there are two critical factors in building a

high performance team.

The first factor in team effectiveness is the diversity of skills and personalities. When people

use their strengths in full, but can compensate for each other's weaknesses. When different

personality types balance and complement each other.

The other critical element of team work success is that all the team efforts are directed

towards the same clear goals, the team goals. This relies heavily on good communication in

the team and the harmony in member relationships.

In real life, team work success rarely happens by itself, without focused team building

efforts and activities. There is simply too much space for problems. For example, different

personalities, instead of complementing and balancing each other, may build up conflicts. Or

even worse, some people with similar personalities may start fighting for authority and

dominance in certain areas of expertise. Even if the team goals are clear and accepted by


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everyone, there may be no team commitment to the group goals or no consensus on the

means of achieving those goals: individuals in the team just follow their personal opinions

and move in conflicting directions. There may be a lack of trust and openness that blocks

the critical communication and leads to loss of coordination in the individual efforts. And on

and on. This is why every team needs a good leader who is able to deal with all such teamwork issues.

Here are some additional team building ideas, techniques, and tips you can try when

managing teams in your situation.

Make sure that the team goals are totally clear and completely understood and

accepted by each team member.

Make sure there is complete clarity in who is responsible for what and avoid

overlapping authority. For example, if there is a risk that two team members will be

competing for control in certain area, try to divide that area into two distinct parts

and give each more complete control in one of those parts, according to those

individual's strengths and personal inclinations.

Build trust with your team members by spending one-on-one time in an atmosphere

of honesty and openness. Be loyal to your employees, if you expect the same.

Allow your office team members build trust and openness between each other in

team building activities and events. Give them some opportunities of extra social

time with each other in an atmosphere that encourages open communication. Forexample in a group lunch on Friday. Though be careful with those corporate team

building activities or events in which socializing competes too much with someone's

family time. For issues that rely heavily on the team consensus and commitment, try to involve

the whole team in the decision making process. For example, via group goal setting

or group sessions with collective discussions of possible decision options or solution

ideas. What you want to achieve here is that each team member feels his or her

ownership in the final decision, solution, or idea. And the more he or she feels this

way, the more likely he or she is to agree with and commit to the decided line of

action, the more you build team commitment to the goals and decisions.

When managing teams, make sure there are no blocked lines of communications and

you and your people are kept fully informed.


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Even when your team is spread over different locations, you can still maintain

effective team communication. Just do your meetings online and slash your travel

costs. Click here for a free test drive.

Be careful with interpersonal issues. Recognize them early and deal with them in full. Don't miss opportunities to empower your employees. Say thank you or show

appreciation of an individual team player's work.

Don't limit yourself to negative feedback. Be fare. Whenever there is an opportunity,

give positive feedback as well.

Finally, though team work and team building can offer many challenges, the pay off from a

high performance team is well worth it.
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