MICROREVIEW

Writing Studmuffin VotesClaire

Preparation for writing Exams

ScissorsLydia

Not enough for cutting votes. Still cut up about it.

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TOMORROW 38º - 22º

Announcements

TODAY 37º - 21º

09:00English Lecture10:00Classes11:00Group Meeting11:15Scavenger Hunt!13:15Classes

Edition vi Monday 18 January, 2016

09:00Classes11:00Group Meeting11:15Workshop12:15Classes13:15Beach day!

It is Beach Day tomorrow so remember your bathers, sunscreen and VCESS SHIRT

RE CAP

The Jungle Zine

University of MelbourneStudent Union

VCE Summer School 2016

As week two dawns: grab your pith helmet, put on your finest khaki and prepare for the second week of the Summer School Safari! (It’s Swahili for ‘journey) Looking back on the first week, we’ve had an absolute blast already. Two English lectures, two BBQs, two workshops, a thrilling trivia, five days worth of classes and more new friends than you could stuff and mount on plaques over the fireplace! There’s plenty more to look forward to this week, with scarcely three days left in the annual Studmuffin competition, a swashbuckling scavenger hunt, and an expedition to the beach (if it doesn’t get hot enough

to fry eggs on a rock!) all on the cards. Carpe diem!

Exploring Melbourne UniSystems garden – I have no idea why this is called the Systems Garden, a better name would be ‘Magical Place of Whimsy and Sparkles’. This garden is located behind the Botany department, and looks like it is the work of people who have devoted their whole lives to plants.Best Feature: The tower in the middle of the pond. Good for Frat, you must never go there.

Carte Crepes – When I think about how this crepe stand has grown over the last 5 years, it brings a tear to my eye. The sugar highs, the afternoon lows, the free crepe when you finish exams (you heard me), it is the jewel in the crown of Melbourne Uni eateries.Best Feature: Everyone who works there is very attractive. Also, I hear they sell crepes!

South lawn – Ok so I don’t know whether this is a thing you ‘discover’ since it’s almost impossible to miss, but it is great so it’s on the list *sassy girl emoji*. Come here to relax, take a nap, avoid frat, play Frisbee, play ball sports until security tells you to stop, nap some more.Best Feature: This is the mecca of free BBQs.

House of Cards – This is the best coffee on campus. How do I know? I don’t drink coffee, but it smells nice and all my friends make me go here when they want coffee (and make me go even though I say I want to go to Carte Crepes).Best Feature: They give you a card when you place your order, and when you pick it up you place the card in a box which represents a charity they will donate - have you been to Grill’d? It’s like Grill’d.

Melb UniIrisa Vuong

The Aesthetics of the campus makes my heart melt

Anatomy MuseumAnon

Dead Funny

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It’s a Jungle out there

How to deal with stress during VCE

An explorer’s guide to Level Two: The curious inhabitants of VCESS

VCE can be a hair tearing, chocolate binging, time of hyperventilation and stress. But it doesn’t have to be!

Don’t sit in the corner of a dark room, rocking to and fro, while whispering mathematical formulas to yourself. Prioritise your subjects and do each task one by one. Make a weekly to-do list and check off each task as you complete it. You’d be surprised how satisfying it is draw a simple tick.

Don’t isolate yourself. Make some time to spend with family and friends. Talk to them about your concerns and what you’re looking forward to after VCE (e.g. Schoolies). We also have a delightful welfare team here at VCESS. Pop in for a chat or for some tips on stress management, such as meditation. You can also attend the stress management workshop.

If you read an exam question and your reaction is along the lines of “WTF is this?! I don’t remember doing this in class!” ask your teacher’s for help. That’s what they’re being paid for. You can even ask your VCESS tutors.

Get physical and get some Vitamin D. Go for a swim, jog or judo match.

Listen to you body. Sleep if you’re tired, but avoid all nighters. Short 10-20 minute naps are really effective for some students. Eat healthily. It’ll help you stay alert and focussed for longer.

You’re not expected to be a 24/7 studying machine. The more organised you are and your ability to remove yourself from schoolwork, will reduce stress levels.

Union House is a strange place at any time, and Level Two is no exception. Here’s a guide to the curious and colourful wildlife that can be found in this unexplored habitat.

The students: With pale blue plumage, these colourful birds are known for their diet of barbequed sausages and veggie burgers, for which they rely upon the help of the Activities Monkey to provide. They travel in small packs, and are frequently lost in the enormous jungle that is Melbourne University.

Special Roles: Known for their fur of bright blue, this wide and diverse group of monkeys cover many different species. This includes the Operations Monkey, an efficient and hard worker, who protects the other monkeys in their tribe. It also includes the Activities Monkey, a charismatic, entertaining little fellow, who makes life more fun for the other animals in the jungle.

Directors: The most colourful species in the jungle, these rainbow-coloured lions are the kings of the jungle. They survey their domain with a watchful eye, looking out for the smaller species below them. These lions are a benevolent sort, choosing not to eat the other species in their habitat.

Welfare: These friendly bears protect and help every species in the jungle, from their high-up perch on level three. With their noticeable green fur, they are easily spotted when anyone needs help. Always approachable, they are frequently seen holding cups of tea or offering baked goods and lollies to others in the jungle.

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StudmuffinBreeana Clements

#resi sweatshop

Summer SchoolTricia

I know what you did last summer!

STUDMUFFIN Which is your study spirit

animal?Owl – Your motto is work all night, sleep all day. Yes, you get your study done, but this is a super inefficient way of working! If you cannot stay awake at school to learn new content, then there needs to be a change in your schedule. If you must have a break after school, try a small nap of no longer than 20 minutes, then drink some water and eat a healthy snack like nuts or carrot sticks with dip. Experts recommend 8 hours of sleep per night, so aim for this magic number!

Peacock – your notes are beautifully highlighted and organised, and your handwriting is meticulous. This is a great first step, however, if you are simply highlighting

everything at the expense of actually learning the material, it’s time to re-evaluate your study skills. Making mind maps and charts can be a great way to learn the info, rather than just decorating it. Plus you can still use your creativity to create beautiful notes. Look at mind maps online to get some study inspo!

Lion – like the ravenous lion, you eat everything put in front of you. Yes, it’s great to have some study snacks, but make sure it’s brain food. Bananas are an awesome source of potassium, and full of energy to last the day. Blueberries are the original ‘superfood’, and there is evidence that they can improve memory. VCE is not the time to start a brand new weight loss regimen, however, it is important to think about maintaining regular healthy habits.

Elephant – you remember everything you’ve been taught, but cannot analyse or evaluate it. This is a great first step, but simply rote learning information will not give you all the marks you can get. Try using new vocabulary words in a sentence, teaching tricky concepts to your siblings and parents, or talking to your friends in the languages you are studying. This will

take the information you’ve learnt to the next level, and can help you understand it much better!

Votes rained down.Confusion reigned.*The Studmuffin Commissioners, unfortunately, continued to reign.

At 12pm today, everyone finished, but none were satisfied. In the chaos and destruction (though no smashed boxes this year) that followed, people were left waiting, hoping they had done enough to get inside.

There were over 11,000 votes, over 7,000 were recieved today and over 400 candidates. See Friday’s final numbers in a complete list on Level 2.

Now, we’re revealing all, feast your eyes on the

STUDMUFFIN TOP 30

*Why did they play Final Countdown after the countdown had ended?

REMINDER:Now we have reached the top 30, the Studmuffin Commissioners will be extra harsh about enforcing the rules, so please make sure your votes:• All say ‘studmuffin 2016’• Are numbered 1-20 and bundled• Are the correct size• Include ‘Group’ if you are voting for a group eg “Group A1’Authorised by the Studmuffin Commissioners

Breeana Clements 1560Chris Choureemootoo 885Larnie Ham 672Group F1 481Jordan Nelson 451The Losers 439Resi 2016 385Group A1 304Group U2 288Amanda Pham 207Blake Le Long 173Conor Grogan 158Charles Cornwallis 150Madeline Vinaccia 150Matt De Bono 133Jar Jar Binks 128

Filthy Frank 128David Bowie flying on a tiger made of lightning 127Brooklyn Payne 127Jessica Foley 123Morgan Davies 123Sabira Ali 122History 122Zeyneb Huda Nur Temel 121Physics 120Jason Kozma 120Ryliegh O’Conor 120InHyeok Park 100Hamish McGillivary 100Cara Dooley-Heath 88

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notice: Jungle Juice

SUDOKU HOROSCOPES

Colouring for MindfulnessTo stead your mind on your treacherous

journey

aries (mar 21 - apr 19)Beware, today the law of the jungle. Chaos reigns around you, but don’t dare break the rule of no frat..

gemini (may 21- jun 20)It’s dangerous to go alone. A wise move that you’ve gone together. The jungle is safer with friends.

cancer (jun- jul 22)I would say you’d be fine, but crabs don’t survive in the jungle. Bury yourself deep. Jks, don’t..

leo (jul 23- aug 22)You are truly in your element in the sensitive new age jungle of Unimelb. Roar (metaphorically speaking), and mighty forces will come to your aid.

virgo (aug 23- sep 22)Listen to that beating heart of yours – it matches the heartbeat of summer school. Badoom. Badoom. Badoom.

libra (sep 23- oct 22)There is no clean, sterile justice in the jungle. Battles are lost and won via passion! Unleash yours and tip the scales.

scorpio (jun 21- jul 22)Today you will unlock your true scavenger nature. You’ll climb to the top of Redmond Barry and discover the Circle of Life.

sagittarius (nov 22- dec 21)There is only one lord of power and he does not share power. Especially in the jungle..

capricorn (dec 22- jan 19)Today, enjoy the bare necessities. Old mother nature’s recipes. That brings the bare necessities of life.

aquarius (jan 20- feb 18)Take some advice from a former King of the Jungle: King Julien. Move it move it!

pisces (feb 19- mar 20)The moon suggests that you are in desperate need of some Hakuna Matata today.

taurus (apr 20- may 20)Despite not being an animal of the jungle, you will continue to blaze a trail of your own today. Godspeed..

There has been a territorial battle manifesting in the Zine/Studmuffin Commissioners Office. Since the beginning of the program, the self-appointed and self-important Studmuffin Commissioners have been encroaching on the Zine team’s territory while they are hard at work gathering resources. Usually, the territory size tends to be no larger than the organism requires to survive. But these organisms are clearly compensating for something.