Edited By: David E. Stannard A Series of Essays

“Thus a young couple embarking on a marriage did so with the knowledge and expectation that in all probability two or three of the children they might have would die before the age of ten” (p. 18)

“Parents were reminded to avoid becoming “Too fond of your children and too familiar with them” and to be on their guard against “not keeping constantly your due distance””(p. 19)

“When Lawrence Parker’s baby died (and his wife was soon to follow) relatives did what they could to explain: You have now one less object to attach you to the earth, and one more to draw you towards heaven. Undoubtedly this was God’s design in taking the Dear Babe.””(p. 40)

“Time and again it would be marked as a source of satisfaction that the dying person was “sensible” of the situation” (p.43)

“With the letter went a lock of her hair, “some of the grave clothese” and the uging to “till all the purtikler about the death of our Old Mother.” (p. 45)

“It was absolutely essential to this process that the deceased not truly die. …. Developing funeral customs reflected the same carefully fostered illusions” (p. 60)

“Actual if crude portraits of the deceased appeared, willow trees and allegorical pictures of the resurrection were all in evidence by 1880” (p. 61)

“because several Boston churches petitioned the city for permission to bury in cellar vaults because of space limitations in existing graveyards.” (p. 74)

“Dr. Jacob Bigelow, called for the termination of all burials within the city to lessen the chance of some epidemic like the recent tragedy at New York.” (p. 74)

“In the new type of cemetery the plenitude and beauties of nature combine with art would convert the graveyard” (p. 78)

“The custom of viewing the remains of the dead apparently was observed mainly in the case of the Mormon elite. In most circumstances the ritual was limited to an hour or two and immediately preceded the funeral itself.” (p. 128)

“The Mormon view of death is that of a mere episode in man’s progression “from grace to grace, form exaltation to exaltation.” Development moreover, is ever onward and upward.” (p. 132-133)

“For thousands of years man was lord and master of his death, and the circumstances surrounding it. Today this has ceased to be so.” (p. 136)

“…society forbids the living to appear moved by the death of others: it does not allow them either to weep for the deceased or to seem to miss them.” (p. 143)

“American have been loath to simplify the ritual of the funeral ceremony and the burial to the extent of Gorer’s English model.” (p. 153)

Julia “Judy "Ann Sherwood Hamilton KilbyAdrian, MISt. Joseph Catholic Cemetery

Samuel J. “Coach” Hamilton (Dad) Tecumseh, MIBrookside Cemetery

Howard E. Kilby (Stepdad)Adrian, MISt. Joseph Catholic Cemetery

Sr. Margaret Kilby (Aunt)Adrian, MIDominican Sisters cemetery

Ariès, P., Douglas, A., French, S., Goody, J., Kelly, P. A., Meyers, M. A., Saum, L. O., Stannard, D. E. (1975). Death in America, David E. Stannard (Ed.), Pennsylvania, USA: University of Pennsylvania Press.

But for a Small Moment [photo file]. Retrieved from http://www.lds.org/ensign/2012/07/joseph-and-emma-moments-in-their-lives?lang=eng

Douglass Cemetery [Photo file]. Retrieved from http://lucascountyan.blogspot.com/2012/06/dedication-of-nickerson-memorial.html

Lamb headstone [photo file]. Retrieved from http://vanishingcoastalgeorgia.com/tag/georgia-pioneers/

Sr. Margaret Kilby [photo file]. Retrieved from http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&GSln=kilby&GSiman=1&GScid=1748&GRid=73079932&