Yanti B. Sugarda

We are all but tiny specks in the universeWe feel immortal when the soul lives on

If life is limited to this world and timeWhat a waste of the universe and infinity

If we cannot become part of the universeIf we cannot exist as one with the universe

What does a lifetime age meanIn the grand and infinite design

Of the universe?

Nothing

Life would be too small to be consideredTime and space are relatively smallIn terms of the infinite and infinity

Only the soul in the form of LoveCould transcend

The vast boundaries of eternity

Love is eternal spiritLiving on when the body dies.

A TINY SPECK IN THE UNIVERSE

A girlWith spirit and passionInevitably has dreamsOf love and romance

In innocence there is trustTrust in the beauty of love

Eternal loveTrue love

The immortality of loveThe immortality of her being

The romanticized picture of the worldAlas, is far from reality

Reality is coldReality is practical and hard

Reality is having to face brutal truths

Her love and passionHer emotional constructHer ideas of romance

Her quest for eternal loveTrue love

Seem to end in sad futility

An absurd dreamAlien and incongruous

In light of the harsh progressionOf the unmindful world

A GIRL'S DREAM CAN BE REAL

Yanti B. Sugarda

Sultry winds blowingCold stinging breezes from the north

My body tremblesShivering at the touch

Of the icy fingers of the wind

Layers of clothingCould not keep the winds away

The sun comes out brightlyFlaying out its armsWith rays of warmthCaressing the cheeksWarming the hands

But only for momentsOf stolen time

Before the cold windsDrive the warmth away

The lake showing its splendourWaves after small waves

Calmly floating byWith little sailboats

On its shoulders

Moving alongFloating where the winds take them

ALONE ON THE LAKESIDE

Yanti B. Sugarda

A duck floating by, noisilyGreen and grey duckIt sits on the water

Looking at meAs if knowing what is in my mind

My mind….All in a muddle

Happiness and sadnessMixed together

I just left my loveWho has given me happiness

But also bewildermentI cannot fathom

The feelings he has for meIs it physical passion?

Is it true love?I just don't know

Will his loveBe the everlasing kind?

Will it beThe deep and everloving kind?Or will it endure only as longAs there is physical pleasure?

So I sit and broodAnd let the cold winds

Blow on my beingAnd my heart

I don't knowI don't know……

Yanti B. Sugarda

Words have the power to move meTo send shivers of delight

Through my wholeSpiritual being.

That is who I search forThe soul which lives

Within the physical being

The soul which createsThe beauty of words

The soul which reflectsthe beauty in mind and heart.

Beauty of words

Yanti B. Sugarda

Please look deep deep into me,and tell me what

you see therePlease look beyond my words

And tell me whatYou see there

" words are words,estranged from meaning,

detached and disconnected from truth,reality, and sincerity"

It is true,that we have to lookbeyond mere words.

We have to lookthrough the words

into the soul.

When reading wordsplease look for meaning.Not on the very words,

but on the soulwho wrote the words.

Please look into whatthe soul is experiencing

and is trying to say.Not the actual words.

BEYOND WORDS

Yanti B. Sugarda

Beyond the edge of the event horizonFar from the spiral expanses of the Milky Way

Lies a place and a timeThat my heart has sometimes explored

Its the place where I can be the oneThe only one

>The stars are shining all the timeParading their real or imagined

Patterns across the skies in all landsBathing the days and nights

With peaceful glowing lanternsCreating a comfortable environment

For the mind to exploreThe limits

Limits of imaginationCould it all be real ?

>That is the reason I have returned againTo try to change what has gone on by

Making every effort not to loseAnything that has come to pass

And try to prevent the loss of whatHas recently occured

Hoping not to create lossesRelated to the future

Beyond the Event Horizon

Yanti B. Sugarda

And suddenly I am awakened from the deepestDepths of the dream

Only to realize that I have returnedTo the place

The time beforeThe losses keep on growing

Can I prevent the loss of any more ?The fear always presentDeep inside the dreamBeyond the open door

The time lines are running shorter nowI can only return to that place

A limited number of timesHave I gone beyond the safety factor ?

Beyond the closing doorFor there is only so much time remaining

Inside the boundaries of my lifeAnd I can take on only so many more losses

To the structure of my soulThe universal clock is ticking

Just outside the door

Beyond the edge of the event horizonDeep inside the dream

Can you stay here for a whileTo keep

The dream from fadingFrom view

Yanti B. Sugarda

I believe in GodA beautiful and kind God

A God who creates beautiful souls

Where do all the beauty around usCome from, if not created

By a beautiful and kind God?

Even in the uglinessThere must be a beautiful coreSomewhere we cannot yet see

I ask GodTo make people happy

To make people at peaceWith themselves and with others

I ask GodTo make mne feel at peace

It helps

I am not religiousNot following rules made

By formal religionsJust because religious teachings

Tell me to

CORE OF CREATION

Yanti B. Sugarda

I follow my mindI follow my heartI believe in God

I believeThe spirit lives onSpirits don't die

Just because the bodies dieHow can spirits die?I cannot think how.Spirits are immortal

Yanti B. Sugarda

In the middle of the nightI sit awake in subdued lightWishing with all my might

To once again be able to writeFrom the depths of my heart

It was an awakening sensationTo find a caring companion

Entering into my lonely dominionPromising to reach a union

Of two souls lost by separation

But in this empty surroundingAs I muse among those sleeping

Fearing my dreams are disappearingInto a deep pit of longing

Beyond the reaches of understanding

I feel the need to recallThe closeness we had, without a wall

Union almost complete, not allWondering what powers I must callTo have the unity I seek be eternal

I seek closeness and unityTo make my nights be filled

with serenityTo let me be able to sleep

in peace

Yanti B. Sugarda

DEEP NIGHT MUSING

I am an emotional person. I express my emotions.

Through my words, through my poems.

My emotions would sometimes Be seen as irrational,

Such as the concept of dream world and earth world .

Yes, perhaps I tend to be irrational, But there always is a logic in my irrationality.

Basically my logic is intact. I think I am a logical thinker.

Emotional, sometimes irrational, But always logical.

Yanti B. Sugarda

EMOTIONS AND LOGIC

End of the dayTrickle of tears swept awaySoft strokes of the fingers

Lingering on lashes of silky gray

End of the dayKeeping the tears at bayClinging to hopes of love

Existing in a land far away

End of the dayWistful longings come to stay

Dwelling in deep crevicesWhere sweet memories lay

End of the dayHopes not to end in dismay

Peace brought forth to reignVivid dreams in full array

Yanti B. Sugarda

EVENING GLOW

I climb out of my shellMy shell of normal reality

To explore myselfWho I really am

What I really want

Am I asleep all this time?If I am asleep, I want to know

Am I awake all this time?If I am awake, I want to know

What heights am I capable of?What depths can I explore?

Is my present lifeThe life for me

Or is there another worldWaiting for me?

Yanti B. Sugarda

EXPLORATION

The surge of warmth, like a warm breezeEncompassing my senses,

evaporating the chili breath of the cold winds,originating from the unmoving, stone-cold earth

The warmth of you, the warmth emanating fromyour body, your lips,

your soul, your smile, your eyes, your armsThe warmth of the fire burning in your heart

The frozen feelings, cold as iceStart to unfreeze,

melting down in drops and trickles of molten lonelinessto disappear forever into the shadows of the grey fogs

Vanish forever, all coldness, darkness and dampnessenemies and nightmares

the winds of loneliness blown away into nothingnessby the everlasting fierce breath of your enduring love

Yanti B. Sugarda

FIERCE BREATH OF LOVE

You tend to accept me And be tolerant of me and my views

I am not quite sure your acceptance of meIs not some sort of compromise

Repressing your own needs And submerging yourself into my wishes

I believe that this kind of compromise Would be felt as obligatory in the end

It would be a good reason For falling out of love.

On the other extreme, I tend to be a bit harsh

Always trying to find weak spots Which could harm our relationship

Not believing that this love could last

I tend to have misgivingsAbout the genuineness of our relationship

Despite its transformationInto my dreamworld

I am ruthless in my bluntness

Searching for proofOf the endurance of your love Preparing myself for the worst Not able to endure the reality

Of not finding true love in the end

Yanti B. Sugarda

EXPLORATION

Can you feel my pain?Can you feel my confusion? Can you feel my sadness? Can you feel my conflicts?

If you feel sad, maybe it is because

you feel my sadness too? If you feel lonely,

maybe it is because you feel my loneliness too?

When we are in dreamland, I don't feel

so much guilt.

My feelings in dreamland are not inhibited. I have no fears of disclosing

my innermost feelings and thoughts .

I have freedom.

It is only when the dreams are in danger

of being actualized in the earth world, that my inhibitions and guilt feelings suddenly appear

without any control from me. Yanti B. Sugarda

FREEDOM IN DREAMLAND

Are you reaching my soul, and finding

who I really am? Are you realizing how I really feel?

Souls cannot connectto each other on earth

without the use of words.

But words have its limitations. Direct connection between the souls

should be achieved, without words.

If we don't have

access through words, we should be able to feel other souls

without words.

we should connectthrough our spirits.

If you really feel deeply

I should be able to feel the vibrations.

Yanti B. Sugarda

FROM SOUL TO SOUL

Have you ever thoughtHow our souls came to be here

On earth and not somewhere else?

Have you ever thoughtHow we came into being?

Who, what, where we were before?

Have you ever thoughtWhy we exist here on earth

Inside the human form of our existence?

Have you ever thoughtWhat blood relation really is

What human contacts are all about?

Have you ever thought How our destiny is determined

If it is determined without our help?

Have you ever thoughtIf each soul is alone independently

Or is it perpetually linked with other souls?

Have you ever thoughtIf the universe is our playground

Or are we stranded only on earth?

Yanti B. Sugarda

HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT?

Yanti B. Sugarda