DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, TRAUMA &TRAUMA &RECOVERYRECOVERY

Tonier CainTonier Cain

P.O. Box 175 P.O. Box 175

Arnold, MD 21012Arnold, MD 21012

ca4toni@aol.comca4toni@aol.com

BECAUSE HE LOVES HERBECAUSE HE LOVES HER

WHY ARE YOU WHY ARE YOU CRYING?CRYING?

He just loves me too He just loves me too much!much!

Age:6Age:6

I believed verbal and physical abuse I believed verbal and physical abuse was love.was love.

• I watched my father beat my mother I watched my father beat my mother everyday .everyday .

• She’s at the hospital again.She’s at the hospital again.

• He’s gone? Why? He loves her!He’s gone? Why? He loves her!

She found love…She found love…

• Her new boyfriend beats her, he Her new boyfriend beats her, he loves her.loves her.

• If It’s love why does she scream If It’s love why does she scream and cry?and cry?

• She’s gone to the hospital again.She’s gone to the hospital again.

• He’s gone, why? He loves her!He’s gone, why? He loves her!

Trauma felt at 9 years old.Trauma felt at 9 years old.

• Verbal and physical abuse from motherVerbal and physical abuse from mother

• MolestationMolestation

• Left to care for siblingsLeft to care for siblings

• Started drinking alcoholStarted drinking alcohol

TERRIFIED ELEVENTERRIFIED ELEVEN

• Removed from motherRemoved from mother

• Placed in foster carePlaced in foster care

• Dysfunctional family Dysfunctional family

HOPELESS FOURTEENHOPELESS FOURTEEN

• She loves me, she wants me back.She loves me, she wants me back.

• How do I live without her.How do I live without her.

• Attempted suicideAttempted suicide

19 years old and beyond19 years old and beyond

• Drug addictionDrug addiction

• Introduction to Criminal Justice Introduction to Criminal Justice SystemSystem

• Mental InstitutionsMental Institutions

MARRIED CHILDMARRIED CHILD

• He beats me, does he love me?He beats me, does he love me?

• She moved in with my little sisters.She moved in with my little sisters.

• Abuse from him and her.Abuse from him and her.

RETRAUMATIZEDRETRAUMATIZED

• Arresting OfficersArresting Officers

• Correctional OfficersCorrectional Officers

• Drug Addiction CounselorsDrug Addiction Counselors

• Seclusion and RestraintsSeclusion and Restraints

• Over-medicatedOver-medicated

• HospitalsHospitals

• State AgenciesState Agencies

After Trauma TreatmentAfter Trauma Treatment

• Drug and alcohol freeDrug and alcohol free

• Secure attachment with daughterSecure attachment with daughter

• Medication freeMedication free

• AdvocateAdvocate

• Board MemberBoard Member

• Council memberCouncil member

• Homeowner and moreHomeowner and more

What if……………What if……………

• At age 9 someone recognized my At age 9 someone recognized my traumatrauma

• I embraced trauma treatment thenI embraced trauma treatment then

• School employees, hospitals, state School employees, hospitals, state agencies, rehabs., arresting officers agencies, rehabs., arresting officers were all trained in traumawere all trained in trauma

Isn’t it possible that the results Isn’t it possible that the results could’ve been this……….could’ve been this……….

• This child, to this woman, to this This child, to this woman, to this mother without the destructionmother without the destruction

• A THOUGHT, HUH?A THOUGHT, HUH?