Do Now: Do Now: Exercise 8-1Exercise 8-1

• On your clicker, indicate if the On your clicker, indicate if the numbered sentences are numbered sentences are (A) OK (A) OK or or (B) (B) Need Editing Need Editing to eliminate weak or to eliminate weak or passive constructions passive constructions .. Be ready to Be ready to explain your choice. explain your choice.

• What do the verbs in the correct What do the verbs in the correct answers have in common?answers have in common?

Aim: How do you make your Aim: How do you make your verbsverbs more more active?active?

1.1. Use the Use the active voiceactive voice unless you unless you have a good reason for choosing have a good reason for choosing the passive.the passive.

2.2. ReplaceReplace be verbsbe verbs that result in dull that result in dull or wordy sentences.or wordy sentences.

3.3. As a rule, As a rule, make the subject the make the subject the actoractor--the person or thing doing the --the person or thing doing the action. action.

Aim: How do you make your Aim: How do you make your verbsverbs more more active?active?

• The pumps The pumps were destroyed were destroyed by by a surge of a surge of power. power. – Passive—the subject is not the actorPassive—the subject is not the actor

• A surge of power A surge of power waswas responsible for the responsible for the destructiondestruction of the pumps. of the pumps.– Be VerbsBe Verbs

• A surge of power A surge of power destroyeddestroyed the pumps. the pumps. – Active Active

Aim: How do you make your Aim: How do you make your verbsverbs more more active?active?

1. Use the 1. Use the active voiceactive voice unless you have a unless you have a good reason for choosing the passive.good reason for choosing the passive.

• The fly ball was caught by Hernando.The fly ball was caught by Hernando.• Hernando caught the fly ball.Hernando caught the fly ball.• The transformer was struck by a bolt of The transformer was struck by a bolt of

lightning. lightning. • A bolt of lightning struck the transformer. A bolt of lightning struck the transformer.

Make the Make the ACTORACTOR the SUBJECT! the SUBJECT!

Aim: How do you make your Aim: How do you make your verbsverbs more more active?active?

22. . ReplaceReplace be verbsbe verbs that result in dull or wordy that result in dull or wordy sentences.sentences.

• Burying nuclear waste in Antarctica would be in Burying nuclear waste in Antarctica would be in violation of an international treaty. violation of an international treaty.

• Burying nuclear waste would violate…Burying nuclear waste would violate…• When Rosa Parks was resistant to giving up her When Rosa Parks was resistant to giving up her

seat on the bus, she became a civil rights hero. seat on the bus, she became a civil rights hero. • When Rosa Parks resisted giving up…When Rosa Parks resisted giving up…

Aim: How do you make your Aim: How do you make your verbsverbs more more active?active?

3. As a rule, 3. As a rule, choose a subject choose a subject that names the that names the person or thing doing the action. person or thing doing the action.

• Exposure to Dr. Martinez’s excellent teaching Exposure to Dr. Martinez’s excellent teaching had the effect of inspiring me to major in had the effect of inspiring me to major in education. (Weak)education. (Weak)

• Dr. Martinez’s excellent teaching inspired me to Dr. Martinez’s excellent teaching inspired me to major in education (Emphatic). major in education (Emphatic).

• The use of cocaine by pregnant women can be a The use of cocaine by pregnant women can be a major cause of severe brain damage in infants. major cause of severe brain damage in infants. (Weak) (Weak)

• Cocaine used by pregnant women can cause Cocaine used by pregnant women can cause severe brain damage in infants.severe brain damage in infants.

Aim: How do you make your Aim: How do you make your verbsverbs more more active?active?

a.a. The Prussians The Prussians were victorious were victorious over the Saxons over the Saxons in 1745. in 1745.

a.a. The Prussians The Prussians defeated the defeated the Saxons in 1745Saxons in 1745..

Aim: How do you make your Aim: How do you make your verbsverbs more more active?active?

e. There were shouting e. There were shouting protesters on the protesters on the courthouse steps.courthouse steps.

e. Protesters were e. Protesters were shouting on the shouting on the courthouse steps. courthouse steps.

Working with your partner, look at page 151—d, 2, 4.

Which one is correct? How can you make them more active?

Aim: How do you make your Aim: How do you make your verbsverbs more more active?active?

Aim: How do you make your Aim: How do you make your verbsverbs more more active?active?

• The The PassivePassive is acceptable if… is acceptable if…1. Actor is unknown, oblivious, or irrelevant1. Actor is unknown, oblivious, or irrelevant

– A car A car was brokenwas broken into last night on Clawson. into last night on Clawson.2. Emphasis belongs to the receiver.2. Emphasis belongs to the receiver.

– The criminal The criminal was arrested, tried, convicted, and was arrested, tried, convicted, and sentencedsentenced to prison. to prison.

3. In scientific writing, emphasizing the receiver lends an 3. In scientific writing, emphasizing the receiver lends an air of objectivity.air of objectivity.– Participants in the study Participants in the study were askedwere asked to respond to a to respond to a

test.test.

Aim: How do you make your Aim: How do you make your verbsverbs more more active?active?

11.

2.2. 3.3.

Aim: How do you make your Aim: How do you make your verbsverbs more more active?active?