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Parish Council Chair—Lesley Randall Clerk - Hilary Cox
01842 829960 [email protected] 07856 035079
Borough & County Council County Councillor - Martin Storey
01842 828016
Churches St James’ Weddings—Revd. Joan Horan Methodist Revd. Chris White ( Thetford )
[email protected] 01842 828034 01842 753819
Doctors Lakenheath Surgery Feltwell Surgery
01842 860400 01842 828481
Hospitals West Suffolk ( Bury St. Edmunds ) Queen Elizabeth ( Kings Lynn ) Thetford Healthy Living Centre NHS Direct
01284 713000 01553 766266 01842 767600 0845 4647
Vets Paul Jarman Old Golf House
01842 828938 01842 814043
Police ( ask for Downham Market ) Taxis Bob’s Taxis DJ Taxis
101 01842 828471 07971 551492
Schools Iceni Academy—Hockwold Feltwell Primary Iceni Academy—Methwold Downham Market High School
01842 828275 01842 828334 01366 728333 01366 388717
Citizens’ Advice Bureau 01842 811511
Samaritans 0345 909090
Rubbish Clearance Funeral Directors - Michael Denney & Sons The Red Lion
01553 776676 01842 862777 01842 829728
DIRECTORY
Strange Weather
As I write this, the heatwave has just ended and we now have torren-tial rain and thunderstorms. What with the strange weather, the comet Ne-owise last month and the worldwide pandemic it’s starting to feel like the end of the world is nigh! What’s next? A plague of locusts?! With that in mind, maybe it’s worth considering the old weather sayings from the Farmer’s Almanac to see if anything comes up true for September: • Fair on September 1st, fair for the month. • Heavy September rains bring drought. • If on September 19th there is a storm from the south, a mild winter
may be expected. • [29th] If St. Michael’s brings many acorns, Christmas will cover the
fields with snow. Here’s hoping things just start to settle down so we can go back to ‘normal’ soon! Many thanks to Vince Avella for this month’s cover picture of the wheat harvest down Nursery Lane. If you have a photo you’d like to share of the village or surrounding area then please do get in touch, we’d love to hear from you! Stay well, stay alert and keep smiling! Editor
OCTOBER CONTRIBUTIONS BY 15th SEPTEMBER PLEASE.
[email protected] 51 Main St, Hockwold
(items received after this date cannot be guaranteed to be included, and all inclusions are at the editors discretion)
Laura Fothergill—Editor T: 01842 829079, email: [email protected]
Tim Fothergill—Advertising T: 01842 829079 email: [email protected]
Linda Arbour—Distribution
T: 01842 827217, email: [email protected]
If you would like to advertise in the magazine for as little as £4.50 per month please contact:
Tim Fothergill on 01842 829079 Or email [email protected]
Hockwold cum Wilton Parish Council 21st July 2020
Present: Mrs L. Randall, Mrs R. Johns, Mrs R. Morgan, Mrs A. Marsden, Mrs T. Sismey, Mrs I. Sullivan Councillor Martin Storey Hilary Cox – Parish Clerk Apologies: Mr S. Monsey-Cribb, Mrs C. Fryers, Mr S. Turner In her feedback from the recent Lode Advisory Committee (LAC) meeting, Cllr Johns advised that the Committee had walked the Lode Common Land and it was decided that the next overall cut would not be until early autumn, to both encourage a natural state on the Lode and, hopefully, discourage the boy racers and motorcycles using and destroy-ing the natural habitat. However, there was plenty of other work to be done in the mean-time. Thanks go to all those villagers who pick up litter when they visit the Lode and to the LAC members who have been regularly addressing fly tipping and litter left from in-considerate visitors, obviously attracted by the recent hot weather. Allotment tenancy renewals will be sent out during September. As I mentioned last month, the Council has produced a new Allotment Policy and copies will be sent to ten-ants, along with a new, and hopefully helpful, Allotment Handbook. We currently have a waiting list so please, if you are no longer making use of your allotment and wish to give up your tenancy, let the Parish Clerk know as soon as possible. Let’s make good use of all the plots. In readiness for winter months ahead, the Council will be requesting the repair of potholes on the village roads. If you spot a pothole, please email the Parish Clerk, with details of its location (and a photo if possible) and she will gladly add it to the list. Update on our current ongoing agenda items:
• Hockwold has had more than its fair share of roadworks over the last few weeks, so once again the monitoring of HGVs driving through the village has had to be post-poned but, hopefully, clipboards will be out in Main Street again soon.
• Following complaints of visits of unidentified drones to the village, the Clerk has advertised the Drone and Model Aircraft Code and parishioners are advised to con-tact the police if any more drones are seen to be hovering over their property.
• We are still working on our case to present to Highways Department in our efforts to reduce speeding, dangerous driving and illegal and inconsiderate parking in Main Street, South Street and Station Road.
• I’m afraid we have little progress to report on the noise from Murfitts Industries but we are still in pursuit of night-time peace and quiet! In the meantime it is still really important to email your complaints to [email protected]. A comment on social media will only reach your friends and neighbours!
• And finally, it wouldn’t be a complete report without mentioning overhanging trees and shrubs!! Please consider those who walk past your property - check the other side of your fences and walls for any branches that you can’t see from your garden.
The next Parish Council meeting will be held via Zoom on Tuesday 8th September at 7.30pm.
Lesley Randall—Chairman
Minutes from the Hockwold Parish Council meeting can be read in full at Hockwold Village Club or online at
hockwoldcumwiltonparishcouncil.norfolkparishes.gov.uk or look for us on Facebook
Contacts for your Parish Councillors are on the website
W.I.
Hockwold Cum Wilton WI will be having an informal meeting for all members at Hockwold Hall (not the village hall) on Tuesday 1st September, starting at 7.00pm till 9.00pm In line with the Government’s guidance, safety precautions we be in place. Hand Sanitiser, Masks, tissues and rubbish bags will all be present. (It will be up to the individual if you want to wear a mask) Tea and Coffee will be supplied and a full risk assessment will be taken before the meeting. We look forward to seeing you all. Maria(secretary- email [email protected])
Friendship Club
Hello Members, Long time no see! I hope you are all well and staying safe. Unfortunately during lockdown we have lost Sylvie Covill, I guess many of you will be aware of her passing. She will be missed on my table as a serious Scrabble player and the bring and buy table will seem much emptier without her marvellous and un-pronounceable home grown plants, attempts to say them by the sellers are legend! I fear it may be a long time yet before we are able to meet in person again., although we are trying to find ways, any ideas would be appreciated. Also, any thoughts for subjects for the future to join our yoga sessions would be handy, think-ing caps on! If any member needs help or has any questions please contact me (01842 827600), Lynne (01842 827089) or Betty Golding (01842 829944). Looking forward to the day when we can be together again,.
Jackie Lucas.
Councillor Phone (01842) Email
Mrs L. Randall 829960 [email protected]
Mrs R. Johns 827268 [email protected]
Mrs I. Sullivan 828357 [email protected]
Mrs T. Sismey 827292 [email protected]
Mr S. Turner 827302
Mr S. Monsey-Cribb 266003 [email protected]
Mrs A. Marsden 653034 [email protected]
Mrs R. Morgan 827431 [email protected]
St James’ Church During September
We are hopeful that we may be able to think about opening
the church during September. At the time of writing (11th August) we hope to have a cyclist (Colin Holman) taking part in the Norfolk Churches Bike Ride on Saturday 14th September. Please see notice elsewhere in this magazine for details of sponsoring Colin. We plan to have a thorough church clean in the week before that but the church may still not be fully open until a Full Risk Assessment can subsequently be carried out. In this case, we will still be able to receive cyclists from other churches in the porch and can offer them bottles of water while their forms are being signed. The Risk Assessment will be completed in good time for the family wed-ding of Kelly and Terry on Saturday 26th September and I take this oppor-tunity of welcoming them to St James for their marriage service. Although the rules and regulations for opening a church for a regular ser-vice in the current Covid situation are long and complicated, we are hop-ing that we will be ready to host a Benefice Service during October. This would be on a rota with St Andrew’s, Northwold and St Mary’s Feltwell. In the meantime the Benefice Service rota for September is as follows: Sunday 6th September: 10 am St Andrew’s, Northwold Sunday 13th September: 10 am St Mary’s, Feltwell Sunday 20th September: 10 am St Andrew’s, Northwold Sunday 27th September: 10 am St Mary’s, Feltwell There will also continue to be a Zoom Eucharist at 10 am on a Wednesday morning. Please contact Christine Parker, Benefice Administrator for de-tails of how to access this: 01842827152 or [email protected]. Just one final note: We are all instructed to wear a mask in the church building.
Daphne Young on behalf of St James PCC
RECIPE—Sorbet and Ice Cream With the recent heatwave ice creams and sorbets have been on my priority list. The ice cream recipe below is a no churn method, so no need for a machine that spends 90% of the year cluttering up your kitchen cupboards! It is VERY easy to make, and tastes like expensive Italian gelato—what’s not to love! Blackberries are in season now, and a blackberry sorbet is a perfect cool tart end to a meal on a sultry evening. Obviously, it’s good at any other time too! Blackberry Sorbet Ingredients: 250g caster sugar 400g blackberries Juice of ½ lemon Method: Put the sugar in a pan with 250ml water and bring to a simmer, stirring occasionally, until all the sugar has dissolved. Set aside to cool completely. Put the blackberries and lemon juice in a small food processor or blender and whizz to a purée (or whizz with a stick blender in a jug), then push through a fine sieve into a mixing bowl using the back of a spoon (discard the seeds). Add the cooled syrup and mix until combined. Churn in an ice cream machine until smooth; freeze overnight until solid. Or, if you don’t have an ice cream machine, place in a plastic container and put in the freezer. Run a fork through the mix every hour to break up the ice crystals. Should be ready to eat in about 4 hours. No Churn Ice Cream Ingredients: 600ml double cream 1 tin of condensed milk 2 tsp vanilla extract Method: Beat the cream to soft peaks then add the condensed milk and vanilla and beat again to soft peaks. Pour the ice cream into a freezeable container. Freeze until solid (about 3-4 hours or overnight). This makes fantastic vanilla ice cream, but can easily be added to for a more compli-cated flavour. Try making a sugar syrup with raspberries and stirring through for rasp-berry ripple, or breaking up a Crunchie bar into small pieces and adding in the mix for a honeycomb crunch, make a caramel sauce and drizzle through before freezing, or simply blitz up your favourite soft fruit and stir through. Enjoy!
Laura Fothergill
September Gardening
September is a relaxed time in the garden as the fight to keep plants watered and deadheaded has eased, However, there’s plenty to keep you busy because Autumn is a fantastic time of year to plant spring bulbs, feed your lawn and plant for winter. Tasks for September: Plant bulbs for colour at Christmas and Spring Deadhead and prune roses Rake, aerate and apply autumn fertiliser to existing lawns. Sow new lawns. Take cuttings of tender Salvia and penstemon. Bring tender perennials indoors before the first frosts. Sow Now: Sew hardy annual seeds into gaps in borders for an early display in 2021 Plant Now: Now is a good time to plant most shrubs and perennials as the soil is still warm and increasing rainfall should be on its way. Prune Now: Give hedges a final prune so they stay neat all winter. Feature on: Conifers These shapely and statuesque evergreens dominate the landscape especially in au-tumn and winter as other trees and shrubs lose their leaves. Their impact is further enhanced by the fact that cold weather intensifies the coloration of the foliage, often turning somewhat ordinary plants into eye catching features. They are indispensable for providing form, structure, textures colour and interest all year round and bringing harmony to any planting scheme. "Conifer" is an arboricultural term meaning, a cone-bearer. There are over 630 spe-cies of conifers which means you’ll find one to suit any garden situation including ground covering varieties, dwarf/slow growing types for containers and rockeries, as single specimens or for hedging. Conifers lend themselves to formal gardening, as solitary garden specimens or stand-alone plants they are unsurpassed, growing with a natural, symmetrical shape. Conifers are undemanding plants, they require little fertiliser a once a year applica-tion of a general purpose granular fertiliser is sufficient in most cases. Once estab-lished they usually do not require watering, unless they are in containers. Pruning is unnecessary and most conifers will not regrow if you cut into old wood, a light trim of hedges is all that’s required. If a conifer has outgrown its space its best to replace it. Brown patches in conifers can be caused by a number of reasons. Pests (including Cypress aphid and scale insect) or diseases (including Honey fungus and Phy-tophthora root rot) are responsible for some cases, but others may be caused by ad-verse growing conditions such as drought, frost, or cold, drying winds. Planting conifers in containers as a centre-piece to annual planting schemes is ex-tremely effective. The annuals can be changed as the seasons pass. Whatever September brings I hope you are able to enjoy some time outside enjoying the best of the season.
Rachel Sobiechowski BSc (Hons), P&R Garden Supplies, Fengate Drove, Brandon 01842 814800 www.p-rgardensupplies.co.uk
STEP 1 Add drainage to the bottom of
your pot and part fill with com-post mixed with slow release
fertiliser, gently firming as you fill.
STEP 2 Arrange your plants in the pot, starting with
your conifer. Work from one side of the pot to the other. Rather than fill the pot with compost and
then dig out planting spaces, pack soil around the rootball and repeat with each
plant.
STEP 3 Firm compost well to ensure there are
no air gaps. Water well. Seasonal plants can be removed and
replaced leaving the conifer
The first signs of Autumn at RSPB Lakenheath Fen
One of the best things about working on a nature reserve is watching it constantly change through the seasons, and September is no exception. These changes are what has helped a lot to keep me sane during lockdown, furlough and in dealing with the changes COVID-19 has caused to the way that we work here. I hope you are all find-ing ways to enjoy daily life too, despite it being very different to how we were this time last year! As the weather cools down and the days shorten, it gets interesting on the Washland, or Hockwold Washes- many wading birds such as curlew, common sandpiper, green sandpiper and ruff will be using the rich feeding grounds to fuel up and rest safely part way through their migration further south. The mud surrounding the water is full of worms, flies, crustaceans and small fish which are rich in protein and fat- just what these birds need after a busy breeding season! They will also be joined by increasing numbers of ducks, especially shoveler, wigeon, gadwall and mallard, so it can get quite busy up there. The best way to enjoy these birds is to walk along the public foot-path that is the northern border of the reserve, or to sit and take it all in from the Washland Viewpoint near the Visitor Centre. If you come for a walk soon, it will be hard to miss the snowy white giant puffballs that grow almost anywhere, though they are most common under the poplar trees in Brandon Fen or in the lush damp grassland around the Visitor Centre and the Photog-raphy Station. The cooler, damper weather of autumn triggers a lot of fungi to rise up out of the soil to produce their fruiting bodies (releasing spores, a fungi’s equivalent of seeds) in the form of mushrooms, brackets, or balls as with puffballs. The insect life on the reserve will also be changing- we will be catching moths typical of autumn in the light trap overnight, such as frosted orange (see the included photo) and pink-barred sallow. Migrant insects, such as silver Y moths and painted lady but-terflies, also reach their peak in late summer and early autumn, so you may see these on sunny, warmer days. Willow emerald damselflies are a species that is late to emerge but one worth waiting for- they are a gorgeous, metallic green and very grace-ful, having a habit of perching with wings slightly raised on a bare nettle twig. The best places to look for these are, conveniently, around the Visitor Centre but especial-ly in the nettles to the right of the bird feeders at the Visitor Centre. It won’t be long either before we see the first redwing, fieldfare or whooper swans on the reserve either! We hope to see you on the reserve soon- although our Visitor Cen-tre is still closed, we do have a Welcome Point which is stationed outside, where you can find out about our latest sightings. We also have an accessible toilet open now and our Car Park is open from dawn until dusk. With best wishes for the weeks ahead- stay safe!
Heidi Jones (Visitor Experience Officer, RSPB Lakenheath Fen)
FELTWELL GOLF COURSE – STAY SAFE -
PLAY SAFE – A COURSE TO BE PROUD OF
Juniors and Ladies
Golf for the whole family, why not join our community and see what we have to offer, we are
Safe Golf accredited, offering a safe environment for the whole family. We offer opportunities
for all ages to learn to play golf at Feltwell and are particularly looking forward to welcoming
our Juniors back in September, when their group sessions will, at last, start again. Remember
to put Saturday 12th September in your diary, 1pm–2pm for the first group and then 2pm–3pm
for the second group. Prices will be the same as last year. If you are unsure which group you
are in please call Jo on 07855 821116.
The take-up of the Junior Golf Camps over the summer holidays has been amazing, resulting in
us adding more dates to the schedule, they all had such a fun time and we will posting some
photos on social media very soon.
Ladies, why not join our Get into Golf Campaign (WhyIGolf), whether you are new to the
game or returning after a break, we hold Ladies Sessions starting from Friday 11th September,
from 10–11am or you can contact Jo on 07855 821116 and she would be more than happy to
fix a time that suits you. Follow this up with coffee and biscuits and a natter in the clubhouse
(social distancing must be observed at all times) – Price £8/person and all equipment can be
provided.
Driving Range
We are pleased to announce that as of the 11th July we opened our Driving Range for general
use. If you are not a member of the club you can join the Driving Range as a member for as
little as £50 a year and still get discounted rates. Buy your tokens from the Pro Shop or office
for £3 (28 balls) or £5 (56 balls) or if you are a member of the Club or the Driving Range for
as little as £2 and £4 respectively.
Robert’s at Feltwell Golf Club
The Clubhouse is now open, albeit with some changes, in line with the latest Covid 19 guide-
lines. You will need to pre-book your table by phoning Robert on 07376 182419 and numbers
are restricted to allow the required distance between tables. There will be table service only
for both drinks and food. Robert will still be continuing to run his Home Delivery service as
we do know this is a life line for some locals who still can’t get out during this time. Check on
our or Robert’s Facebook Page for the ‘Menu of the Day’ - to order your meal phone 07376
182419. Changes/relaxations of the restrictions will be notified on both Feltwell Golf Club and
Robert’s Facebook pages.
Hopefully this finds you all safe and well and we look forward to seeing as many of you as
possible up at Feltwell Golf Club now we are able to play golf again. Take care and stay safe.
Follow us on and be sure to keep up to date with what’s going on here
at Feltwell Golf Club.
Remember you are never too young or too old to start playing golf and we look forward to
seeing you soon at FELTWELL GOLF CLUB
Denise Whiting
Across 1. Khartoum is the capital (5) 4. Popular vacation spot in the Canadian Rockies (5) 6. African mountain range (5) 7. Asian country (5) 8. Country on the southern and eastern coasts of the Arabian Peninsula (4) 9. Bridgetown is the capital (8) 12. Capital of Samoa (4) 13. Ancient Peruvian empire (4) 16. City in China on the Pacific (8) 17. Continent (4) 19. Capital of Morocco (5) 20. Mediterranean island (5) 21. Capital of Jordan (5) 22. State capital of Oregon (5)
Down 1. Capital of Costa Rica (3,4) 2. World's longest river (4) 3. 8 Across is the capital (6) 4. Capital of the Australian state of Queensland (8) 5. National emblems (5) 6. Montgomery is the state capital (7) 10. Saltwater lake between Israel and Jordan (4,3) 11. Capital of Jamaica (8) 14. City in California, site of Disneyland (7) 15. Sea between New Zealand and Australia (6) 16. Damascus is the capital (5) 18. Large European mountain system (4)
CROSSWORD
SUDOKU
Solutions for September Sudoku and Crossword will be in the October edition of the Hockwold Village Magazine.
AUGUST CROSSWORD & SUDOKU SOLUTIONS
6 7 9
1 5 8
2 5 7
4 9 6
3 7
4 1 8
8 5 9
3 1 9
2 3 8
1 9 3 8 7 5 2 4 6
8 5 6 2 9 4 3 7 1
4 2 7 6 3 1 5 9 8
5 1 4 3 8 7 6 2 9
3 8 2 9 4 6 7 1 5
7 6 9 1 5 2 4 8 3
6 4 5 7 1 8 9 3 2
2 3 8 4 6 9 1 5 7
9 7 1 5 2 3 8 6 4
Need to go shopping? Want to visit a friend?
Need to get to an appointment? West Norfolk Community Transport can help!
Call us on: 01553 770310
BIKE, WALK OR DRIVE IN THE NOR- FOLK COUN-
TRYSIDE Saturday 12th September 2020
9.00am - 5.00pm
Colin Holman, 26, Malts Lane, Hockwold, telephone 827503, is taking part. Why not sponsor him? Almost half the money raised goes to The Norfolk Churches Trust with the remainder going to his nominated church, St. James’ Church, Hockwold. The Norfolk Churches Trust us-es a small percentage of any money raised for administration costs.
Have you taken up cycling? Why not plan a route and have a day out visiting some of the local churches? If so, perhaps you would like to be sponsored. If not, then just give a donation. Find out more at norfolkchurchestrust.org.uk/bike-ride. If anyone would like to come and sit outside St. James’ for an hour to welcome any cyclists, please contact Sue Annear, telephone 815430
Local people asked for help to design a campaign around future care preferences
The national Recommended Summary Plan for Emergency Care and Treatment (ReSPECT) initiative has launched in Norfolk in March 2020, just before the UK went into lockdown due to the Coronavirus Pandemic. Although take up of Re-SPECT has started there is still the need to raise awareness among the public about the initiative, and encourage everyone to start thinking about having ‘the conversation’. What is ReSPECT?
For further information, includ-ing frequently asked questions, please see https://www.resus.org.uk/respect/ Who is it for? ReSPECT can be for anyone, of any age. It is most likely to benefit people:
with complex health needs or at risk of sudden collapse or cardiac arrest or nearing the end of their lives or who want to record their preferences for any reason.
Why is this being introduced? At present, conversations with those living with serious illness tends to focus sole-ly on decisions relating to cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR) which can result in misunderstandings about treatment plans. There is variation across Norfolk and Waveney in how these decisions are documented. Few people go on to discuss what other types of care they would or would not want in an emergency situation. The ReSPECT process has been developed by the Resuscitation Council (UK) collaboratively with many organisations including patients, the public, and the Royal Colleges with the intention of designing a pro-cess that is more acceptable to patients and that standardises processes and documentation across organisational boundaries. How can I help promote ReSPECT in Norfolk and Waveney? The Norfolk and Waveney team really want to hear how they can encourage peo-ple to have ‘the conversation’. Please take the time to complete the survey and share this on your networks, with your patients and clients, and with your friends and family. Maybe you could also think about starting the conversation with your own friends and family? https://www.norfolkandwaveneypartnership.org.uk/get-involved/opportunities.html
A LIFE ON THE OCEAN WAVE, TRA-LAH!
In July 2017, I wrote a short thesis on the probabilities of being able to ensure the future of
the world's population, man and beast, following a catastrophic flood of biblical proportions.
Since then I have often wondered how those involved at the time considered the chances of
success in the venture. With a little persistence, and close consideration of Genesis Chapter 6
et sec, the following conversation between two of the artisans involved emerged.
“You know what, Claud, I've been a carpenter all my life, but I've never been on a job as
strange as this one! I would venture an opinion that the gentleman in charge of it all is a few
nails short, if you know what I mean.”
“I'm not sure what you are getting at, Stanley. Pray do elucidate!”
“Well, Claud, my old friend, it's like this. When I first met him, for the interview, like, I got the
impression he had just got out of bed, and hadn't had time to have a shave. He was still in his
night attire and slippers. Strange way to greet your potential workforce is how I looked at it.
Nice chap, and all that, but rather strange, nonetheless!”
“I can understand your concern, Stanley, but as the saying goes, one cannot judge a tome by
its binding. It is what lies beneath that should concern one, after all!”
“You mean quod experimentum in deserto comederunt, Claud? I understand that, but I still
think some of his ideas are rather questionable, to say the least. Even I can see that the whole
idea has obvious flaws, and that will be plain to see, once the project begins, you mark my
words!”
“Well, Stanley, whatever misgivings you may have following your well-intentioned feasibility
study, we do have a contract, for which we must be grateful under the prevailing circumstanc-
es. Our client has seen fit to include a time penalty clause in our agreement, so I suggest you
had better reserve your misgivings, and trust his judgement on the matter. From what I hear,
he has been around for quite a while, and is highly thought of by the powers that be, so that
should be good enough for us”
“Right you are, but don't say I didn't warn you, when it all goes pear-shaped! I can't see this
ending well, Claud. You can see how it's turning out! Even a blind man can see it's never go-
ing to be big enough for what he wants. Not fit for purpose is what I would say. He's so sure
about his measurements, but how can they be accurate when everything is done in cubits,
whatever they might be!”
“Apparently, Stanley, a cubit is the distance from one's elbow to the tip of one's middle
finger.”
“Aha! There we have it! What if we have a tall person and a short person doing all the
measuring? What would happen then, Claud? Nightie-man could end up with a lop-sided
boat, and no mistake. Some planks would be too short, and some would be too long, would
they not? And what's happened to using the good old tape measure? Very reliable, I under-
stand!”
“I think you'll find that the tape measure has not yet been invented, Stanley. I think you are
a little ahead of your time there. Anyway, we should trust our client. He seems to know
what he is doing, and he does consult with his client every day!”
“Well, Claud, I just found out what the cargo is going to be, and I think you will be sur-
prised to say the least. This is all as a result of the latest weather forecast. It would appear
that we are in for the mother of all tempests, and if we don't get a move on, we are all go-
ing to be washed away unless we can get to high ground somewhere. Nightie-man has
been instructed to head for Mount Arrarat, wherever that may be, with two of every living
man, woman, and beast on board, where the idea is to ride out the storm there. Then when
they get stranded on the mountain top, and the water goes away, they can start doing what
comes naturally once again! What do you reckon to that then, Claud? Daft idea or what?”
“You must have heard wrongly, Stanley, my dear friend. What you say would be quite im-
possible! Maybe in two thousand years time, when microchips have been invented, along
with the tape measure you alluded to previously. However, I doubt it would be possible,
even then! Two of every creature on Earth? Impossible, Stanley! Quite impossible!”
“I'm glad we finally see eye to eye, Claud, but look at it this way, If a flood is on its way, a
boat would be a good idea, wouldn't it? And if we could get a berth, that would be good,
too, wouldn't it? After all, there are two of us, so we would qualify by default, would we
not?”
“I suppose you could be correct in your reasoning, Stanley, and it would be prudent to
fulfil the requirements of our contract. As you say, there could be benefits!”
“Oh, and I found out that Nightie-man is called Norah! What sort of name is that for a
man in his position, Claud?”
“The name is Noah, Stanley. His name is Noah!”
Frederick James.
