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DIETING: A DRY DRUNK
The Workbook
by Becky Lu Jackson
Universal-Publishers
Boca Raton
Dieting: A Dry Drunk - The Workbook
Copyright © 2010 Becky L. Jackson All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying,
recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without written permission from the publisher
Universal-Publishers Boca Raton, Florida • USA
2010
ISBN-10: 1-59942-919-5 ISBN-13: 978-1-59942-919-9
www.universal-publishers.com
DEDICATION
This workbook is dedicated to all the
guides, mentors, and friends who
support me, cheer me on, and love
me, no matter what . . .
And most importantly to God, who is
my core and my strength.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
A special thank you to all the eating addicts and their families
who have shared their insights and progress with me as they
traveled this recovery path . . . May this workbook continue to
add clarity and stability to your journey.
vii
PREFACE
This workbook is designed to push your “answer button” and to
challenge your existing truths. Its basic purpose is to assist you in
creating new actions based on new beliefs, to transition you into a
whole new belief system—one grounded in spiritual principles. The
exercises are geared toward helping you discover what your beliefs
are right now—the ones currently hidden and the ones in transition
from an old form to a new form. Some of the assignments are in-
tended to help you formulate new ideas and new attitudes.
Here are some beginning suggestions for making this workbook
useful to you. Highlight phrases or sentences that resonate with you,
write in the margins and mark any key concepts you identify in each
section or chapter. Record any questions you have about statements,
concepts, ideas or theories presented in the book. Try all the assign-
ments and suggestions, especially the writing ones. Writing helps us
access new perceptions and sometimes even new information. It al-
lows us to challenge and/or circumvent our current awarenesses and
learn from deeper aspects of ourselves. We can learn so much from
ourselves and about ourselves through writing. And, please notice
the words and phrases I used in my books; they were deliberately
chosen.
Because this workbook is intended to trigger emotional aware-
ness, as well as mental insight, observe the way you use grammar and
Dieting: A Dry Drunk—The Workbook
viii
phrases; even notice the pressure you apply when you write. Just
note them to learn about yourself, not to shame yourself. Try not to
judge yourself as feelings and insights come up and out. And try to
suspend any critical judgment you might have about the concepts,
ideas, exercises or suggestions in this workbook. You can just put
any concerns in a “mental holding tank” for discussion and analysis
later, or you can record them, and go back over them later.
Another important point: Only share your writing and/or in-
sights when you’re ready and only when you feel relatively safe. In
the beginning of my recovery, I discovered safety and trust were very
big issues for me. I had to use “new eyes” to see who was or wasn’t
safe. I had to be willing to allow myself a certain amount of time to
gather data about others, so I could judge who was safe and trust-
worthy. Although I knew I needed to be vigilant about gathering
data, I also needed to develop a “spiritual base” for safety and trust.
But I also knew that for my growth in recovery, I had to take some
risks before I had a spiritually sound system of beliefs in place.
If you’re lucky enough to get to go through this workbook in a
support group, you’ll discover the wonderful element of learning
with and from others. Ideally, in a group setting there will be a lot of
laughter and a lot of love. Both workbook and group can help create
the dynamics we need to support us in abstaining no matter what,
and to experience a full recovery. I send you this workbook with all
the hope, safety and love I’ve been privileged to enjoy.
ix
INTRODUCTION
This workbook is designed to be used in conjunction with my
book, Dieting: A Dry Drunk. Its chapters correlate with those in the
first book. Whereas, Dieting: A Dry Drunk is written in a handbook
style with short, easy-to-read chapters, Dieting: A Dry Drunk—The
Workbook offers reading and writing assignments, exercises, visualiza-
tions and affirmations. It was created to stimulate thought, insight,
awareness, growth and, ultimately, change.
I wrote this workbook to help guide eating disorder “recovery
students” into stable, long-term abstinence and to illuminate and
enhance their recovery path— basically, to nurture the transition of
the new information from “head to heart.” It was written to be used
on your own or, preferably, as part of a supportive study group—a
group using these concepts to recover.
I believe it is paramount, when addressing an eating disorder, to
understand and accept the concept of eating disorders as eating ad-
dictions—biologically based addictions. (Note: I believe both Rocke-
feller University and Harvard have completed research on the brain
chemistry of eating disorder sufferers.) When we use this premise,
we then have a clearly defined blueprint with which to begin to arrest
the addiction—a chance to put it, and keep it, in remission a day at a
time, for the rest of our lives.
Dieting: A Dry Drunk—The Workbook
x
To begin our recovery from an eating addiction, our physical ac-
tions and mental postures must be conscious, thorough and deliber-
ate. If we hope to achieve ongoing freedom from our eating addic-
tion, we must be willing to accept and adjust to the permanency of
the illness, much the same as someone does when first diagnosed
with diabetes. This permanency implies that we will need to daily and
faithfully take the “medicine” necessary to arrest our eating addic-
tion. For only when we take the “medicine” of abstinence from the
eating addiction do we have a chance to be conscious, thorough and
deliberate.
Firstly, we will need to use the principles of willingness, honesty
and courage to define a “bottom line” for our abstinence. A concise
definition of abstinence will or, at least, should reflect absti-
nence from compulsive overeating and undereating, abstinence
from dieting, restricting and all forms of purging. It should en-
compass abstaining from all the out-of-control behaviors and
from all the attempting-to-control behaviors. If we are willing to
add the phrase “no matter what” to our bottom line, we’re creating
the framework to keep it focused and surrendered—to make it a
“done deal.”
Secondly, we will need to access a level of honesty—actually ri-
gorous honesty. If we want to experience a moderate, comfortable
abstinence, rigorous honesty is the key that unlocks the door. Frank-
ly, we will need to know what abstinence looks like in practice, in
Becky Lu Jackson
xi
concrete terms and actions. And, for an added touch of sanity, we
will need a “just for today” attitude to begin to take our medicine
called abstinence. Lastly, we will need to learn the art of surrender. This
means, we will need to quit fighting or struggling to become normal
eaters; we will need to simply, calmly and respectfully begin to address
our eating “problem” as a major illness—an eating addiction.
Beginning our recovery with the additional spiritual tool of
group support is the most preferable way to proceed. One thing we
definitely know about recovery from any and all addictions is that
having the support of other recovering people is magical! That group
support is often our first experience of connecting to a Power great-
er than ourselves that can help us solve our eating problem. Group
dynamics can assist us in exposing and revealing old, damaged beliefs
with compassion and understanding. It can help us uncover, identify
and challenge old patterns and old illusions that “feed” the addiction.
It can help us release our shame and self-bigotry. A study group
gives us a forum for discussion and ongoing support for our new,
tenuous mind-set of recovery. It helps with the integration of new
concepts and new beliefs—it accelerates positive changes.
The goal of my work is to enable you to find an answer to your
eating, food, dieting, and weight dilemma and to help you clearly
define a path of recovery that allows you to experience that answer.
Once you get abstinent, a day at a time, working at your recovery
Dieting: A Dry Drunk—The Workbook
xii
makes it possible to stay abstinent. Once you live your recovery, a
day at a time, you will begin to experience the absence of yearning
for any aspect of your eating addiction. You can experience a new
and solid freedom. To quote Alcoholics Anonymous, “When, there-
fore, we were approached by those in whom the problem had been
solved, there was nothing left for us but to pick up the simple kit of
spiritual tools laid at our feet. We have found much of heaven and
we have been rocketed into a fourth dimension of existence of which
we had not even dreamed.” Good luck on your journey.
***On www.dietingrecovery.com we have a Dieting: A Dry Drunk
(DDD) Book Study Meeting format and suggestions on how to start
a support group available on request. Additionally, we suggest ways
to vary the format to include the DDD—The Workbook and CDs by
Becky L. Jackson. You can design a weekly group meeting that is
open-ended or one in which members can commit themselves for a
specific length of time.
xiii
DIETING: A DRY DRUNK
The Workbook CONTENTS Part I – Getting Started Chapter 1 Gaining Awareness and Acceptance................................... 1 Chapter 2 Understanding and Identifying Compulsions ................... 5 Chapter 3 Understanding the “Bottom Line”...................................... 7 Chapter 4 Defining the “Bottom Line” ................................................ 9 Chapter 5 Abstinence in Action........................................................... 11 Chapter 6 Rigorous Honesty and Moderate Meals ........................... 15 Chapter 7 Utilizing “Recovery Bottom Lines” .................................. 19 Chapter 8 Understanding and Clarifying Obsessions....................... 21 Chapter 9 Identifying Adverse Consequences................................... 27 Chapter 10 Identifying More Adverse Consequences ........................ 29 Chapter 11 Challenging the Dieting Mentality..................................... 31 Chapter 12 Creating Your Own Recovery Mentality.......................... 33 Chapter 13 The Great Obsession .......................................................... 37 Chapter 14 Acquiring Your Favorite Spiritual Sayings....................... 39 Chapter 15 Converting Spiritual Sayings into Your Words ............... 43 Chapter 16 Connecting to Your Inner Family..................................... 45 Part II – Getting Stable Chapter 17 The Art of Surrender........................................................... 49 Chapter 18 The Art of Surrender (continued) ..................................... 53 Chapter 19 The 49% Surrender.............................................................. 57 Chapter 20 The Goodbye Letter............................................................ 59 Chapter 21 Spiritual Principles as Motives, Attitudes, & Actions .... 61 Chapter 22 Separating Abstinence from Healthy Nourishing........... 67 Chapter 23 Transitioning from Food Plans to Menu Planning ........ 73 Chapter 24 Moderate is a Range ............................................................ 79 Chapter 25 Goodbye Letter to the Dieting Mentality ........................ 83 Chapter 26 Getting Out of Denial......................................................... 87 Chapter 27 Getting into Reality.............................................................. 91
Dieting: A Dry Drunk—The Workbook
xiv
Chapter 28 Seeing Clearly........................................................................ 97 Chapter 29 Separating Core Addictions from Process Addictions .. 99 Chapter 30 Separating Core Addictions from Process Addictions
(continued) .......................................................................... 103 Chapter 31 Perfectionism...................................................................... 105 Part III – Staying Stable Chapter 32 Recognizing & Avoiding Early Relapse ......................... 111 Chapter 33 Recognizing & Avoiding Early Relapse (continued).... 113 Chapter 34 Recognizing & Avoiding Early Relapse (continued).... 117 Chapter 35 Relapse Prevention & Weight .......................................... 121 Chapter 36 Protecting Your Abstinence—Avoiding Relapse ......... 125 Chapter 37 The “Minimizer” ................................................................ 127 Chapter 38 Topic Inventories............................................................... 129 Chapter 39 Exposing our Dependencies on the Eating Addiction.133 Chapter 40 Challenging our Dependencies ........................................ 135 Chapter 41 Freedom from our Dependencies ................................... 141 Chapter 42 Challenging the Bigotry of “Looksism” ......................... 145 Chapter 43 New Truths for Freedom from “Looksism”................. 149 Chapter 44 The Body Image and Sexuality Connection .................. 151 Chapter 45 Freedom Through Replaying Our History .................... 153 Chapter 46 The Magic of Gratitude .................................................... 155 Chapter 47 No More Yearning for the Eating Addiction................ 157
PART I
GETTING STARTED
1
CHAPTER 1
GAINING AWARENESS AND ACCEPTANCE
The first assignment is to read the “Foreword” written by Joe
Mortola, M.D. and the “Introduction” in Dieting: A Dry Drunk
(DDD). Also, read the “Preface and the “Introduction” in DDD—
The Workbook. Mark, highlight and/or record any questions.
Doctor Mortola’s theory that a “chemical imbalance” puts us at
risk for an eating addiction is an important insight. But equally im-
portant is his concept that “confusion, stress and painful feelings”
activated it. Knowing that our eating addiction cycle started with
pain and that full recovery means eventually walking through our
pain might feel overwhelming in the beginning. So instead, I suggest
we start with his statement that “no one can functionally deal with
pain” when the eating addiction isn’t arrested. This statement can
help us to prioritize our actions. It implies that the beginning work is
to arrest the addiction. If we start there—with arresting the eating
addiction—we will be setting the stage to be able to functionally deal
with our pain and our past. We will be creating the foundation for
our recovery.
The following is a concise representation of how I see the prob-
lem and how I see the solution. It’s a handout read in DDD Book
Study meetings. I feel we can’t hear it often enough in the beginning.
Dieting: A Dry Drunk—The Workbook
2
Dieting: A Dry Drunk –The Problem
• There is a lack of understanding about eating disorders as
eating addictions.
• There is a lack of understanding about eating addictions as
being biologically based.
• There is a lack of understanding that dieting is part of the
problem.
• There is a lack of recognition and identification of the exist-
ing bigotry of “looksism.”
• There is a lack of clarity about what to do to address and ar-
rest the “problem.”
• There is a lack of clarity about how to break our dependen-
cies on the eating addiction.
We get caught in a cycle of out-of-control, compulsive, obsessive manipulation of eating, food, and body image, with
no permanent relief in sight.
Dieting: A Dry Drunk—The Solution
• We learn to identify and understand eating addictions.
• We learn how to arrest the eating addiction.
• We learn to clarify and commit to a “bottom line.”
• We learn to challenge and break our dieting mentality
• We learn to challenge our own looksism bigotry about hu-
man value being in “looks.”
• We learn to release our self-directed bigotry about body size,
shape, and weight.
Becky Lu Jackson
3
• We learn to live from a deliberately created spiritual value
system.
• We learn to identify and release our dependencies on the
eating addiction.
Recovering means being in the solution.
It means keeping a bottom line.
Abstinence is the bottom line.
The key concept for me is the “First Things First” concept.
When I know nothing else, and if or when I’m so engulfed in the
pain of my life, at that moment, all I need to do is honor my absti-
nence with respect and keep it sane—no matter what my life issues
are. At least I haven’t added to my life’s pain by throwing away my
precious recovery and started a self-abuse cycle.
Write your thoughts and feelings about discovering a solution.
Additionally, if you are going through this workbook with a group,
share with your group any of the key concepts you noted as you read
and highlighted the beginning parts of both DDD and DDD—The
Workbook.
5
CHAPTER 2
UNDERSTANDING AND IDENTIFYING
COMPULSIONS
Let’s start here with Chapter 1 in DDD, “UNDERSTANDING
EATING DISORDERS.” Read through the first three paragraphs.
Paraphrase the third paragraph in Chapter 1. Then write your
thoughts about the concept of “You have a disease. You’re not the
disease.”
Continue reading Chapter 1 through to the heading, Addictive
Disease/Eating Disorder Mind-Sets. Stop, briefly list all your
out-of-control behaviors (picking, snacking, grazing, bingeing, over-
eating, eating out, eating alone, eating “hand-to-mouth” foods, com-
fort eating, TV eating, unconscious eating, jumping on the scale sev-
eral times a day, etc.).
Go back over the list and put a mark by your most common out-
of-control behaviors.
Then briefly list all your different styles of “attempting-to-
control” (counting calories, restricting fats, attending dieting institu-
tions, seeing nutritionists for personal diets, taking nutritional classes,
volume-eating of only “health foods,” using diet pills, purging calo-
ries through exercising, vomiting, fasting, diuretic use, laxative use,
etc.).
Dieting: A Dry Drunk—The Workbook
6
Go back over the list and put a mark by your most common at-
tempting-to-control behaviors. Write a paragraph that reflects how
you feel about the years you’ve lived in this cycle of out-of-control,
attempting-to-control.
ALERT: If you’ve been abstinent for a while, list any ways
the eating addiction has grown roots in your daily life (impul-
sively picking at food while preparing your meals, impulsively adding
more food/bites to your meal, impulsively getting on the scale, im-
pulsively picking on family/friends plates during the meal, planning
junky meals in times of stress, planning diety meals and then bounc-
ing to junky choices, planning low moderate breakfast followed by
high moderate dinners, etc.).
7
CHAPTER 3
UNDERSTANDING THE “BOTTOM LINE”
This is going to be THE critical component for arresting the eat-
ing addiction and stabilizing recovery. It will clarify and define our
“medicine.” We will use the word “abstinence” to mean abstaining
from the eating addiction. Just as an alcoholic needs a clear, no loop-
holes understanding of sobriety to start arresting their addiction, so
do we. Here’s what I believe we will be abstaining from:
• Overeating
• Undereating
• Dieting
• Restricting
• Purging
• Compulsive eating
• Impulsive eating
• Random eating
• Spontaneous eating
In our quest to clarify abstinence, start by returning to DDD,
Chapter 1; find the Arresting an Addictive Disease/Eating Dis-
order heading. Read through five paragraphs.
One of the key concepts presented in this section is expressed in
the following quote: “When we give up the option to randomly eat in
Dieting: A Dry Drunk—The Workbook
8
between moderate meals, randomly add on extra food at our meals,
or randomly skip meals, the driving, compulsive energy miraculously
begins to vanish.”
Paraphrase your understanding of this quote.
Now, write out your hopes about being relieved of your eating
addiction. Next, write out your fears about being relieved of your
eating addiction.
Since clarity is so absolutely necessary for stable, long-term re-
covery, write out the following definitions to help erase all the illu-
sions the addiction wants us to believe—the confusion of “I don’t
know.”
• Write a definition of meal.
• Write a definition of moderate.
• Write a definition of random.
Share these definitions with your group. Expand and enrich your
work by adopting any clarity you gained from your group members
sharing.
9
CHAPTER 4
DEFINING THE “BOTTOM LINE”
Read in DDD Chapter 2, “WHY NO RANDOM EATING?” Af-
ter finishing the chapter, list at least three key concepts you identified.
Two of the important concepts in Chapter 2 are reflected in the
following quotes:
• “Abstinence doesn’t equal perfection.”
• “Don’t mix up your definition of nutritionally healthy eating
with your definition of abstinence.”
If you haven’t already written on these two concepts, write on
them now.
Articulating Your Bottom Line
Skip to DDD’s Chapter 4, and read “WHAT’S BLACK &
WHITE AND WHAT’S GREY?” In the sixth paragraph down, I’ve
written several different ways to paraphrase the bottom line of absti-
nence.
Before you actually write out your bottom line, I want to explain
the bottom line concept as applied to alcoholism. If you had a
chance to poll a group of sober members of Alcoholics Anonymous
and ask them to share their bottom line for sobriety, they might have
slightly different words but the essence would be the same— ba-
