Developing Relationships

People buy from people. If you are making a well-positioned offer to the right person at the right time, you still must answer the question of “why should I trust you?”

Unfortunately salespeople have worked really hard to destroy trust over the years.

David Meister offers this formula for building trust in his book “Trusted Advisor”:

Trust = Intimacy + Reliability + Credibility Self Interest

Putting points on the numerator of this equation will help build trust. In the same way, ignoring these things can destroy trust so they warrant further consideration.

Intimacy: close familiarity or friendship; closeness

A synonym to intimacy is rapport. You could make the argument that people don’t necessarily need to like you to buy from you and I would agree, but it sure does help if they do. Most selling environments are highly competitive these days and a personal relationship can help to differentiate you from the competition or at least make it more difficult for them to leave.

Business is personal. It is about people and between people. It is also about transactions and we want to always feel like the party we are transacting with has our best interest in mind. It is important to demonstrate this continuously and not just when we are engaged in a negotiation. Ask yourself “how does what I am doing make them feel better?” and “Do I really understand what they want and need?” Sales people come across as more interested in making the sale than caring about helping them. This has been going on for years and has caused mistrust in salespeople. We ignore the personal side of business or mistakenly assume that the next prospect is like the last one you met with or they have the same wants and needs.

Personal connections can develop from things you have in common. An acronym to remember for things to look for in points of connection is FORM:FamilyOccupationRecreationMessage

What we are looking for are points of connection. Do you have children the same age? Do they go to the same school? Is there some occupational connection you have? Have you been referred by someone they have a professional relationship with? Do you share a recreational passion?

Message applies to civic or other societal interests. Are you involved with the same charitable organization? Do you go to the same church?

Conversation about their interests is not the same thing as making a personal connection. In fact it can destroy trust. Say you visit a prospect in their office and see they have golf paraphernalia all over their office and you don’t play golf. You make a comment like “I see you play golf” When they say “Yes, do

you? And you say no, where is that conversation going from there? Having conversations like this are obviously not sincere.

In a world where we communicate almost entirely by email and text, people are starving for personal connection. There is a reason why top producing salespeople have as many face-to-face meetings with their prospects and customers as they can and those who don’t are typically looking for a job in six months to a year. I had a past client once tell me they lost a longstanding client. He said the company had bought a lot from him over many years and he found out they went to a competitor for a very small order for a seemingly insignificant price difference. I asked him if he went to see the client. He said he always offered to, but the client assured him everything was fine and there was no need to visit. I said how many times did you have a big order where you could have dropped it off instead of shipping it and say, I was just in the area so I thought I would bring this by. I know how important it is for you to have it on time.

People like people that are like them. Great salespeople are like chameleons and able to change their behavioral style to match that of their prospect or client. Better yet, pick customers that are like you.

Other simple things we often forget about can send meta-messages that will build or can destroy trust. Smiling, being courteous and friendly, and dressing appropriately are all important. Most importantly, asking the right questions will enable you to come across as impartial, disarming, and concerned about them with a low degree of aggressiveness.

Reliability: the quality or state of being reliable

A synonym of reliability is dependability. Being reliable is doing what you say you will do when you say you will do it. Simple things like showing up on time and answering calls promptly demonstrate reliability in the same way not being on time making people wait for a return call, email, information or a proposal will give the impression you are unreliable. Being prepared by researching the people and company you are meeting with and preparing the right questions is important. Most salespeople fail to properly prepare and instead end up “winging it”.

Credibility: the quality of being trusted and believed in

You are only as credible as you appear. To come across as an expert you need to be able to speak clearly about what you have to offer. This does not mean talking in technical terms or industry jargon. Talking over your prospect will not impress them it will alienate them. Specializing and focusing on what you do really well helps to establish you as an expert. Talking in a confident manner helps to demonstrate you know what you are talking about.

Being referred by someone they trust has obvious benefits in building credibility as do testimonials. In preparing for a meeting it is wise to pull out the stories that will apply to the company, situation and person you are addressing. Your client list or awards and credentials can also help with building credibility.

Self Interest: one's personal interest or advantage

How many times have you heard a salesperson say, “If I really believe in a product or service, I can sell it” or “I really need to believe in a product or service in order to sell it”? When we believe strongly in our product or service and we find someone we know will benefit from it, we want to tell them all about how they will benefit.

Our Sales Coach Rule Number 1: Telling is not selling

When you spent all the time you have with a prospect talking about your products and services, you and your company, how you can help them, and the benefits they will realize. The entire conversation is about you, your company, and what you offer.

Let’s say you meet with a prospect you were introduced to by someone they trust so you have a 10 out of 10 possible points on credibility. You show up on time and are prepared so you score a 10 on reliability and you hit it off with them so you also score a 10 on rapport. Then you spend all of your time talking about you, your company, and what you can do for them, you are putting up 10 points on the denominator of the trust equation and your hard earned 30 points were just cut by 90 percent to a 3.

Our Sales Coach Rule Number 2: People Buy for their own reasons, not yours

The only way to truly understand their reasons to buy from you is to ask the right questions.