Descriptive WritingDescriptive Writing

Mrs. ShirkMrs. Shirk

Descriptive Writing includes:Descriptive Writing includes:

A focused topicA focused topic An engaging leadAn engaging lead Adequate supporting detailsAdequate supporting details TransitionsTransitions Varied sentence structureVaried sentence structure Several elements of stylistic language (similes, Several elements of stylistic language (similes,

metaphors, adjectives, ect.metaphors, adjectives, ect. A powerful conclusionA powerful conclusion

Description of settingDescription of settingImagine a hot, summer day. The sun beats down on the blacktop and the city air rises up in a Imagine a hot, summer day. The sun beats down on the blacktop and the city air rises up in a zigzag. Light bounces off the cars parked on the street. For a time, the only sound heard zigzag. Light bounces off the cars parked on the street. For a time, the only sound heard throughout the neighborhood is the steady hum of fans, laboring to cool residents from the throughout the neighborhood is the steady hum of fans, laboring to cool residents from the sweltering temperatures. sweltering temperatures.

Bored children decide to brave the humid heat and play ball in the streets. Thump! Thump! Bored children decide to brave the humid heat and play ball in the streets. Thump! Thump! Thump! The repetitive sound of a basketball breaks the monotonous silence. The children Thump! The repetitive sound of a basketball breaks the monotonous silence. The children weave in and out, in and out, jumping, moving, dodging, and laughing as they move weave in and out, in and out, jumping, moving, dodging, and laughing as they move effortlessly, making plays in the hot summer rays.effortlessly, making plays in the hot summer rays.

Spewing a nerve-jangling tune, an ice cream truck arrives on the scene. The kids race over to Spewing a nerve-jangling tune, an ice cream truck arrives on the scene. The kids race over to the truck and select treats – vanilla cones, chocolate crunch bars, wildly colored ice pops. In the truck and select treats – vanilla cones, chocolate crunch bars, wildly colored ice pops. In minutes, the treats are devoured and the kids return to their energetic play.minutes, the treats are devoured and the kids return to their energetic play.

Dark storm clouds roll through the sky overheard and the street empties. A gloomy grayness Dark storm clouds roll through the sky overheard and the street empties. A gloomy grayness envelops the sky like a giant umbrella. Craaaaack! Thunder roars with anger and lightening envelops the sky like a giant umbrella. Craaaaack! Thunder roars with anger and lightening dances fleetingly in the distance. The rain comes in torrents, beating, beating, beating down dances fleetingly in the distance. The rain comes in torrents, beating, beating, beating down the sidewalks, streets, and houses. Faces peer out windows, watching the dazzling show. the sidewalks, streets, and houses. Faces peer out windows, watching the dazzling show. When the clouds roll away, steam rises, drying the streets for another round of play.When the clouds roll away, steam rises, drying the streets for another round of play.

What is the focus?What is the focus?

Imagine a hot, summer day. The sun beats Imagine a hot, summer day. The sun beats down on the blacktop and the city air rises up down on the blacktop and the city air rises up in a zigzag. Light bounces off the cars parked in a zigzag. Light bounces off the cars parked on the street. For a time, the only sound heard on the street. For a time, the only sound heard throughout the neighborhood is the steady throughout the neighborhood is the steady hum of fans, laboring to cool residents from hum of fans, laboring to cool residents from the sweltering temperatures.the sweltering temperatures.

LeadsLeads

A lead is the way the author starts the text.A lead is the way the author starts the text. Leads must “grab” the reader and entice Leads must “grab” the reader and entice

him/her to read on.him/her to read on.

Kinds of LeadsKinds of Leads

Use strong visual imageryUse strong visual imagery Use dialogueUse dialogue Use repetition of verbsUse repetition of verbs Use a personal storyUse a personal story Use a rhetorical questionUse a rhetorical question Use a simile or a metaphorUse a simile or a metaphor

Use strong visual imageryUse strong visual imagery

Red, orange, gold and yellow – such are the Red, orange, gold and yellow – such are the colors of a glorious autumn day.colors of a glorious autumn day.

Use dialogueUse dialogue

““Christina, it might be wise to wear a light Christina, it might be wise to wear a light sweater today.” As mom and daughter sweater today.” As mom and daughter prepared to go outside, they discussed their prepared to go outside, they discussed their plans for the day. As they stepped foot plans for the day. As they stepped foot outside, they felt the chill in the air as the red, outside, they felt the chill in the air as the red, gold, and orange leaves drifted to the ground. gold, and orange leaves drifted to the ground. A squirrel played behind the magnolia tree as A squirrel played behind the magnolia tree as Christina and her mother climbed into their Christina and her mother climbed into their dark blue sedan.dark blue sedan.

Use repetition of verbsUse repetition of verbs

Imagine a gorgeous autumn day where the Imagine a gorgeous autumn day where the trees are turning yellow, orange, and red. trees are turning yellow, orange, and red. Imagine the squirrels gather nuts and acorns Imagine the squirrels gather nuts and acorns preparing for winter. Imagine the slight chill preparing for winter. Imagine the slight chill in the air as the days get longer and longer.in the air as the days get longer and longer.

Use a personal storyUse a personal story I remember the time that I traveled to my I remember the time that I traveled to my

grandmother’s house for her autumn birthday. My grandmother’s house for her autumn birthday. My mom, dad, sister, and I made the six-hour journey in mom, dad, sister, and I made the six-hour journey in our minivan reading stories and singing songs along our minivan reading stories and singing songs along the way. As we traveled up the East Coast, we went the way. As we traveled up the East Coast, we went through Maryland, Pennsylvania, New York, through Maryland, Pennsylvania, New York, Connecticut, and Massachusetts. As we approached Connecticut, and Massachusetts. As we approached each state, I made a prediction of the status of the each state, I made a prediction of the status of the trees. The further north we went, the more vibrant trees. The further north we went, the more vibrant colors we encountered. Reds, oranges, golds, and colors we encountered. Reds, oranges, golds, and yellows filled the landscaping, reminding us of the yellows filled the landscaping, reminding us of the glorious celebration of seasons.glorious celebration of seasons.

Use a rhetorical questionUse a rhetorical question

Have you ever gone outside on an autumn day Have you ever gone outside on an autumn day and been overwhelmed by the explosion of and been overwhelmed by the explosion of orange, red, gold, and yellow in front of you?orange, red, gold, and yellow in front of you?

Use a simile or a metaphorUse a simile or a metaphor

The red, orange, gold, and yellow leaves filled The red, orange, gold, and yellow leaves filled the horizon with brilliant color. As we the horizon with brilliant color. As we traveled along the road, the vibrant trees traveled along the road, the vibrant trees looked like huge bouquets gathered for a looked like huge bouquets gathered for a special occasion.special occasion.

ExampleExample

Have you ever witnessed a scene of such peace Have you ever witnessed a scene of such peace and tranquility that its beauty overwhelmed you? and tranquility that its beauty overwhelmed you? Such was the scene of two beautiful deer grazing in Such was the scene of two beautiful deer grazing in the still pasture as twilight approached. Blues, the still pasture as twilight approached. Blues, purples, pinks, yellows, and oranges streaked the sky purples, pinks, yellows, and oranges streaked the sky like a magnificent painting. Every few seconds, one like a magnificent painting. Every few seconds, one of the deer’s tails twitched as it lifted its head to look of the deer’s tails twitched as it lifted its head to look around carefully before returning to its dinner. Dark around carefully before returning to its dinner. Dark shadows lengthened as the evening crept closer and shadows lengthened as the evening crept closer and closer. The forest that surrounded the pasture seemed closer. The forest that surrounded the pasture seemed to beckon to the deer, urging them to seek refuge to beckon to the deer, urging them to seek refuge from any lurking dangers.from any lurking dangers.

PracticePractice

Complete the following for your own descriptive Complete the following for your own descriptive topic for practicetopic for practice

Topic________________Topic________________Lead_________________Lead_________________

Subtopic___________________Subtopic___________________Supporting details_______________Supporting details_______________

Subtopic____________________Subtopic____________________Supporting details____________Supporting details____________

Subtopic____________________Subtopic____________________Supporting details________________Supporting details________________

Organizing your detailsOrganizing your details

Organize your details in a way that is Organize your details in a way that is appealing to your reader.appealing to your reader.

Number your supporting details to show the Number your supporting details to show the order that you would put them in if you were order that you would put them in if you were writing about this topicwriting about this topic

TransitionsTransitions

Transitions link the ideas between and within Transitions link the ideas between and within your paragraphs. Some common transitions your paragraphs. Some common transitions are are first, second, third, next, additionally, in first, second, third, next, additionally, in addition, also, last, finally, for example, by addition, also, last, finally, for example, by contrast (see your transitions sheet for more contrast (see your transitions sheet for more examples).examples).

Write transitions for the subtopics or Write transitions for the subtopics or supporting details that you have brainstormed supporting details that you have brainstormed and organized.and organized.

ConclusionsConclusions

Begin with a summary statementBegin with a summary statement Connect the main ideas presented in the body Connect the main ideas presented in the body

of your descriptive writingof your descriptive writing Connect back to themes presented in the body Connect back to themes presented in the body

of your descriptive writingof your descriptive writing Connect ideas in the summary to personal Connect ideas in the summary to personal

experiences or events and ideas beyond the experiences or events and ideas beyond the texttext

Use the information that you have gather for your topic to Use the information that you have gather for your topic to complete the followingcomplete the following

Central Idea or theme_____________Central Idea or theme_____________ Two or three supporting Two or three supporting

details_____________details_____________ Summary statement______________Summary statement______________ A sentence or two connecting to the ideas or A sentence or two connecting to the ideas or

details woven throughout your details woven throughout your writing_____________writing_____________

A sentence that connects the main ideas to A sentence that connects the main ideas to other information “beyond” your writingother information “beyond” your writing

PracticePractice Complete the following for your own descriptive topic for practiceComplete the following for your own descriptive topic for practice Topic________________Topic________________

Lead_________________Lead_________________ Subtopic___________________Subtopic___________________

Supporting details_______________Supporting details_______________ Subtopic____________________Subtopic____________________

Supporting details____________Supporting details____________ Subtopic____________________Subtopic____________________

Supporting details________Supporting details________ Summary statement______________Summary statement______________ A sentence or two connecting to the ideas or details woven throughout A sentence or two connecting to the ideas or details woven throughout

your writing_____________your writing_____________ A sentence that connects the main ideas to other information “beyond” A sentence that connects the main ideas to other information “beyond”

your writingyour writing

VoiceVoice

Voice is the way the author talks about a Voice is the way the author talks about a subject that reveals his/her personality, as well subject that reveals his/her personality, as well as his/her feelings about the subjectas his/her feelings about the subject

Possible “voices”-sarcastic, friendly, Possible “voices”-sarcastic, friendly, appreciative, skeptical, reserved, enthusiastic, appreciative, skeptical, reserved, enthusiastic, overwhelmed, surprised, etc.overwhelmed, surprised, etc.

MoodMood

The mood is the feeling that the audience has The mood is the feeling that the audience has after reading the work of a particular author, after reading the work of a particular author, listening to a song, or watching a movie.listening to a song, or watching a movie.

Describe the tone of the description of an action Describe the tone of the description of an action scene (the deer scene)scene (the deer scene)

ExampleExampleHave you ever witnessed a scene of such peace and tranquility that its beauty overwhelmed Have you ever witnessed a scene of such peace and tranquility that its beauty overwhelmed you? Such was the scene of two beautiful deer grazing in the still pasture as twilight you? Such was the scene of two beautiful deer grazing in the still pasture as twilight approached. Blues, purples, pinks, yellows, and oranges streaked the sky like a magnificent approached. Blues, purples, pinks, yellows, and oranges streaked the sky like a magnificent painting. Every few seconds, one of the deer’s tails twitched as it lifted its head to look painting. Every few seconds, one of the deer’s tails twitched as it lifted its head to look around carefully before returning to its dinner. Dark shadows lengthened as the evening crept around carefully before returning to its dinner. Dark shadows lengthened as the evening crept closer and closer. The forest that surrounded the pasture seemed to beckon to the deer, urging closer and closer. The forest that surrounded the pasture seemed to beckon to the deer, urging them to seek refuge from any lurking dangers.them to seek refuge from any lurking dangers.

Suddenly from out of the forest, a large fox raced toward the deer. As soon as they sensed Suddenly from out of the forest, a large fox raced toward the deer. As soon as they sensed movement, the deer took off in opposite directions, at first erratic and confused, then movement, the deer took off in opposite directions, at first erratic and confused, then purposeful and focused as they ran as fast as a speeding locomotive attempting to evade their purposeful and focused as they ran as fast as a speeding locomotive attempting to evade their predator. The fox paused. Then, instinctively, it raced after the slower deer, deep into the predator. The fox paused. Then, instinctively, it raced after the slower deer, deep into the pine forest. Then, all was quiet again in the pasture. Quiet. Dark. Somehow less peaceful.pine forest. Then, all was quiet again in the pasture. Quiet. Dark. Somehow less peaceful.

The sky quickly became a murky grayish pink. The sky painting appeared as if a bucket of The sky quickly became a murky grayish pink. The sky painting appeared as if a bucket of water had spilled across the canvas, washing away the vibrant colors. Two bunnies darted water had spilled across the canvas, washing away the vibrant colors. Two bunnies darted playfully and fireflies flickered repeatedly in the dusk. Within minutes, the atmosphere of playfully and fireflies flickered repeatedly in the dusk. Within minutes, the atmosphere of peace had returned, the skirmish toward death forgotten.peace had returned, the skirmish toward death forgotten.

YOU do it!!!

Check over your essay for words, phrases, and passages of writing that reveal the voice and mood that you are portraying with your writing.

Style

“Imagine that….” sentence beginnings Imagery Adjectives Similes Metaphors

Rhetorical question

The author asks a question to get the reader thinking about personal experiences related to the topic and questions/thoughts that the reader has about the topic. “Rhetorical” means that the author does not expect the reader to answer the question.

Imagine that…

The author uses an “imagine that…” sentence beginning to spark the reader’s imagination with images and thoughts related to the topic. Often the writer also uses sensory details within the “imagine that…” scenario to connect with the reader’s thoughts and ideas.

Imagery

The author uses words and phrases to appeal to the reader’s five senses. The author uses imagery to appeal to the readers’ imaginations and help them create pictures in their minds.

Adjectives

The author uses adjectives to classify nouns. A particularly powerful stylistic tool is to use adjectives in a row for repetitive emphasis.

Similes

Similes use like or as to make a comparison. The author uses similes to create interesting pictures in the reader’s mind.

Metaphors

Metaphors make a direct comparison and do NOT use like or as. The author uses metaphors to compare abstract concepts to concrete images so that the concept can be better understood.

YOU do it!!!

Use at least three elements of style in your essay describing a person!

Highlight where you add these stylistic elements in your rough draft to show proof of revisions!

ElaboratingElaborating

What are some ways to elaborate and extend What are some ways to elaborate and extend ideas in writing? ideas in writing? Sensory detailsSensory details Adding adjectivesAdding adjectives SimilesSimiles MetaphorsMetaphors Inserting vivid verbsInserting vivid verbs Adding prepositionsAdding prepositions

Common prepositionsCommon prepositions

about, across, at, around, before, behind, about, across, at, around, before, behind, beneath, between, down, during, except, for, beneath, between, down, during, except, for, from, in, into, of, on, onto, over, through, to, from, in, into, of, on, onto, over, through, to, with, without, within, underwith, without, within, under

Underline the prepositional Underline the prepositional phrasephrase

1.1. The toad sat under the brown bench.The toad sat under the brown bench.

2.2. The little girl nestled between her parents.The little girl nestled between her parents.

3.3. Around the bend, a car was quickly Around the bend, a car was quickly approaching.approaching.

4.4. The ball landed behind the tall tree.The ball landed behind the tall tree.

5.5. During the storm, a telephone pole fell.During the storm, a telephone pole fell.

6.6. After dinner, do your homework.After dinner, do your homework.

7.7. You got a postcard from dear Aunt Sally.You got a postcard from dear Aunt Sally.

You do it!You do it!

Check your essay for prepositional phrases Check your essay for prepositional phrases and then add them as needed to enhance your and then add them as needed to enhance your writing!writing!

Show, Don’t Tell

Close your eyes and listen to this sentence-

Mavis was angry when she heard what the umpire said.

What did you see when you heard this sentence.

Now listen to the following sentence-

Shaking her head back and forth, Mavis pounded home plate with her fist after the umpire shouted, “You’re out!”

Show, Don’t Tell Strategies

Describing the character’s actions rather than just saying how he or she feels.

Using active verbs Describing a specific setting Using similes and metaphors Using dialogue Showing what the character is thinking Appealing to some of the five senses to paint a

picture of what is happening

Revising Show to Tell

The girl cried a lot. What picture does this paint in your mind? What are more specific words I could use for

girl? What are some more specific words that mean

cry? What are more specific ways to say a lot?

Revised sentences

The teenager threw herself on her bed and sobbed into her pillow until she fell asleep.

The toddler bawled uncontrollably when the storekeeper took the display doll out of her hands.

The princess whimpered into her hankerchief when she realized that she had dropped her ring into the raging river.

Onomatopoeia

The use of words that sound like the things they are describing, such as thwack, snap, buzz, bang, clang, slap, snap, etc.

Instead of I heard kids in the street on Halloween.

Try instead The excited and terrified shrieks of children rang

through the Halloween night air.

Hyperbole

The use of exaggerations to describe something by stretching the truth in a colorful way.

Instead of

He jumped high into the air.

Try instead

He soared 10 feet into the air.

Personification

Is a literary device that gives human traits to non-living things.

Instead of There were clouds in the sky.

Try instead Dark storm clouds angrily invaded the afternoon

sky like a conquering army.