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Enhancing Your Communication in Feedback Worksheet Answer the questions below to consider how you communicate around feedback. Spend about 15 minutes answering these questions. Just jot down your first assumption. Then partner with your coach to look for opportunities to test your assumptions.

Methods to test work styles:

Who’s work styles are you reviewing?

Work Style Questions:

Step 1: Review these Resources:● Delivering Feedback Activity ● Situation Behavior Impact Feedback Framework ● Non-Violent Communication in the Workplace ● Receiving Feedback Activity ● Exert and interview with the authors from Thanks for the Feedback

Step 2: Set your Goal● What do you hope to accomplish from reviewing delivering and asking for feedback? ● How do you deliver and ask for feedback now? How effective is that in achieving your

goals? ● What would you want to change?

Step 3: Read the information, questionnaires and exercises below:

Feedback is information that helps you determine what to do to be successful.

Productive Feedback:● Clarifies good performance & provides growth opportunities● Encourages dialogue around learning● Increases self‐esteem and motivation

While Unproductive Feedback:● Attacking Personality / Character● Emotionally Driven● Based in our Bias● Unintentional / Misdirected● Vague

● Unsaid

What is an example of productive feedback you have received or delivered?

What is an example of unproductive feedback you have received or delivered?

What do you want to get out of feedback?

Delivering FeedbackExamples of good feedbackSource: Learning to Deliver Feedback Effectively

Job Performance Feedback “You exceeded your production goal by 20 percent last week. Great job. That’s really going to help us meet our overall plant production and financial goals. How did you do it?”

● Describes the situation● Describes the impact● Elicits a conversation to find the behavior to reinforce

Reputational Feedback“I’ve heard and noticed that our new employees have been coming to you for advice on how to succeed in our culture. You seem to be developing a reputation as someone that really understands how we do things around here. That’s great. Thanks for helping them out, I really appreciate it. You’re a role model for our values, and I’m sure our newer employees value your advice.”

● Context ● Impact● Reinforcement of positive behavior

Career Feedback

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“I think you have leadership potential. In the organization and execution of the last three projects you managed, you’ve demonstrated an ability to motivate teams, you can deal with ambiguity, and you're a quick study. Is leadership something you're interested in exploring?”

● Defines the behavior● Reinforces skills for leadership● Opens up a discussion to learn what they are looking for

Feedback That Came From OthersPositive example: “Tom, I’ve gotten feedback from others in the department that you're being overly critical of them about their work. I haven't directly seen you do this myself, but I feel concerned that others have noticed and it bothered them enough that they came to me. Can you shed any light on this?”

● Shares context● Shares why you are discussing this “I feel concerned”● Leaves room for conversation

Situation Behavior Impact (SBI)This model while seemingly clear can be very challenging to execute. You identify and state the when, the what and the why.

1. Identify the situation. When2. Describe the behavior. What3. Explain its impact. Why

Example:Original: “Last week you were disorganized. You need to do better.”SBI approach: “During yesterday morning’s team meeting, when you gave your presentation, you were uncertain about two of the slides, and your sales calculations were incorrect. I felt embarrassed because the entire board was there. I’m worried that this has affected the reputation of our team.”

Instructions: Take the feedback examples you listed above and add the situation, behavior and impact.

Identify the Situation Describe the Behavior Explain its Impact

Ex: 1

Ex: 2

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Ex: 3

Non Violent Communication“We express our feelings in terms of what another person has ‘done to us.’.:[NVC is] a way of being very honest, without any criticism, insults, or put-downs.”— Marshall B. Rosenberg, PhD

The idea is to express what we observed, define how it made us feel, the need we are trying to fulfill and the resulting request.

When ____[observation], I feel ____[emotion] because I’m needing some ____[universal needs]. Would you be able to ____[request]?

Example:“You arrived 10 minutes late to the last three team meetings. I am frustrated because, as a team, we have a need for efficiency. Please, could you help me understand what’s happening?”

● Behavior/observation● Emotion ● Universal need● Request

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Practice Sharing Observations Not Evaluations An evaluation is subjective, an observable truth is not. The goal of productive feedback is to open a conversation around areas for growth. Observations allow us to do this.

Example:Evaluation: “You are slow to deliver work.” Observation: “You said that you’d send the document last week and I haven’t received

it.”

Instructions: Take the feedback examples you listed above and rewrite any evaluations as observations.

Evaluations Observations

Practice Avoid Misusing “I Feel” We want to be cautious when we are using “I feel” to soften I think. If you are using “I feel” make sure you are really sharing an emotion. Emotions are observational truths. While a thought is an evaluation, it's debatable.

Example:Thought: “I feel your work could be better”Emotion: “I feel concerned about the quality of your work”

Note: If you can replace feel with think, it’s a thought not an emotion.

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Instructions: Take the feedback examples you listed above and rewrite any thoughts with “I feel” as emotions.

Thoughts Emotions

Share Universal Needs Not Strategies Universal needs like emotions and observations make it is easier to come to an agreement to collaborate on a strategy to move forward.

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Example:Strategy: “I need you to copy me into every email”

Universal Need: “I need some transparency”

Instructions: Take the feedback examples you listed above and rewrite any needs listed as strategies to universal needs.

Strategies Universal Needs Common universal needs:● Autonomy● Collaboration● Consistency● Clarity● Integrity● Recognition● Respect● Reassurance● Security● Support● Understanding

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Make Requests Not Demands Requests open the door for a conversation and a learning opportunity. You can identify any unintended outcomes and ideally create a bigger impact with your feedback.● Be specific: include the behaviors ● Be Positive: Say what you want, not what you don’t want● Be curious: When you receive a no explore what would get you to a yes

Note: The biggest difference between a request and a demand is the intention, delivery and the person’s response.

Example:Demand: “Do not leave your team member out of conversations impacting their work.” Universal Need: “Can you meet with your team members to learn more about what conversations they may need to be included in that impact their work?”

Instructions: Take the feedback examples you listed above and rewrite any demands as requests

Demands Requests

Radical Candor This approach is the mix between directly challenging what has occurred while truly caring about the person you are communicating too. The premise of this approach is to care and be direct. When either of these is lacking the communication may not be as effective.

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How to Select a FrameworkConsider:

● Timing● Person● Situation● Desired Outcome● Design thinking

How would you use these feedback frameworks, when and why?

What changes would you make when delivering feedback?

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Receiving FeedbackSteps to Receive Feedback Well:● Engage in the conversation- ask for feedback, don’t avoid the conversation.● Make a thoughtful choice to listen to the information- truly listen, assess and consider.● Manage your emotional triggers. ● Be open to see yourself in new ways, question your opinions.● Assess and filter the information- you do not need to use or retain the feedback just

listen and consider it.

Triggers to Receiving Feedback Well:● Truth triggers: this feedback is just wrong or perfect ● Relationship triggers: what we believe about the giver, how we feel we are treated by

them● Identity triggers: our sense of who we are

Source: “Thanks for the Feedback”

What is the feedback you would like to ask for?

How could you ask for it well?

What triggers may come up?

ReflectionReview your goal for this section. Reflect- what could you change in your mindset, actions or behaviors to achieve that goal?

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Additional Things to ConsiderThere are generally 3 ways to test assumptions around workplace interactions:

● Experimenting- where can you build small tests with low risk to consider your assumptions?

● Research/ observations- Spend some time observing your assumption and consider all the data around you to test it this could be emails, performance reviews, communication and more.

● Direct discussion- have a 1:1 conversation to explore the topics and discuss your assumptions.

Additional Questions:Questions to discuss with your coach to review your feedback style.

How have you set the stage for feedback:● Have you developed clear expectations around how you will deliver the feedback? ● Do you know how each individual prefers to receive feedback and have you discussed

their preferences?● Have you agreed on processes for how you will discuss feedback? ● Do you have a relationship built in trust to withstand critical feedback?

Review the responsibilities and expectations for high performance of your team members:● Are expectations clear around the work, performance, norms or behaviors for which you

want to give feedback on? ● If you are delivering constructive or positive feedback it is best received when it is on an

agreed upon standard. IE you expect the person to act or behave in X way and have discussed that but in reality, they behaved in Y way...

Consider your current feedback style:● How do you normally discuss feedback?● In which leadership/ management styles are you delivering the feedback and is it most

effective for the case at hand? ● What challenges and opportunities do you have when delivering feedback?● Do you have a relationship built in trust to withstand critical feedback?

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