Deleted Scenes from Coveted by Shawntelle Madison

7/31/2019 Deleted Scenes from Coveted by Shawntelle Madison

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DELETED SCENES FROM COVETED

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My workday at the Bend of the River Flea Market had stretchedto a slow crawl. When it seemed like Id my time would be betterspent lining up lamps, a customer approached me and asked aboutan antique sofa. She appeared to be in her forties and her attire wasmuch more polished that most of the clientele that came by.

I gave her a brief overview of the sofas background. She slowlysmiled while I gave what I thought was the dullest sales pitch ever.

You have great posture, she said. Have you ever participated inpageants before?Pageants? I actually sounded horrified. Oh, no. Ive never

done that.With more poise than Id ever displayed, the raven-haired woman

said, Well, thats a shame. Weve had a low number of entries in theMiss Forest River Pageant. I think youd make a great role model fora lot of the young ladies who are entering our teen division.

A great role model? Was that before or after I showed off myChristmas collection as my talent? Youre kind, but I prefer to keep

to myself these days.I understand. Well, Im Gilda Peake if you ever change your

mind. She returned to the business of purchasing the maroon-colored sofa.

Surprisingly, even with my poor salesmanship today, she boughtit. Not long after shed left the store with her pick-up slip, I breatheda sigh of relief. The last thing I needed was a reason to embarrassmyself in front of hundreds of people.

DELETED SCENE FROMCOVETED

By Shawntelle Madison

NOTE: These scenes would take place around

the latter half of COVETED. They are raw (very undercooked).

If errors are found blame Nat.


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After I revealed my little talk with Gilda to Aggie, I shouldveknown shed think it was agood idea.

I know you dont want to enter the pageant and all, but did youever think about who else might be in it? Aggie asked me.

I snorted. Yeah, a bunch of locals who think Vaseline on theirteeth is the key to world peace.

We stood in the parking lot outside of Archies Burgers. The smellof seared meat and fresh fries tempted me, but Agatha McClureplanted herself outside the door with her hands on her hips. I haveto spell everything out for you, dont I? Look, I heard in the grocerystore today that Erica and Becky have participated in this thing every

year since they came back from college.I folded my arms across my chest. Hopefully my facial expressionsaid,And I should care because?

Aggies eyes narrowed. Did you ever think if you won thatcontest youd have a leg up on her in front of everyone? All of SouthToms Rivers citizens?

Now that did sound a bit interesting, but I didnt fully see herlogic. What makes you think I could win a beauty pageant?

Of all my close friendsand I could count them on one handyoure the most determined person I ever met. Guaranteed. When

you want something, you fight for it. You may not like speaking infront of large crowds, but I think this would be good for you. Itcould also serve as leverage to help you get back into the pack.

Okay, fake my way through pageant questions, yes. Fake my waythrough a swimsuit competition, hell no. I raised my voice tosilence her before she could interrupt me. And how the hell do Ifind a talent? My anxiety doesnt make me too keen toward swirlingplates on sticks or pulling germ-laden dead rabbits out of hats.

If youre willing to participate and kick her ass, Im more than

willing to take care of everything else.I rolled my eyes. As much as Id love to virtually dig my heel intoEricas back, Im completely unprepared to participate in a pageant.

Aggies offered a conspiratory wink. I got you covered. You maynot remember, but your Aunt Olga used to be a heavy pageantparticipant when she lived in Russia.

I walked around her so I could eat. At least that was one thing I


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did well.But then the question remained: Would Aggie forget this little

scheme of hers?

[Aggieconvinced Nat to participate. Nat met with her Aunt Olga for

herfirst lesson. It was a painful experience. For everyone involved.]

Aggie owed me big time for enduring all this madness.My lesson the night before with Aunt Olga hadnt prepare me for

what I had to endure the next day at the South Toms RiverCommunity Center.

Gilda, the pageant coordinator, sat in front of us and droned on forfifteen minutes about the pride and joy (her words, not mine) shedexperienced as Miss Forest River 1992. When Id entered the room

twenty minutes earlier, Id learned everyone arrived very early. Ienjoyed being on time like the next person, but I didnt setup campand build a bonfire. People who arrived early were the folks whosaw the party preparation or stood on the side while dinner cookedon the stove. They merely got in the way.

My competition, Erica, sat in the front row next to her partner-in-crime Becky. The rest of the contestants sat in two rows of greenmetal chairs with bright smiles. Of course, when I got there, the onlyseat available was directly behind Erica. Swell.

And when the introductions circled the room, Id hoped the other

contestants around me would occupy my time. The last thing Iwanted was to pass out from Ericas venomous eyes. After Idreluctantly shaken everyones hands, Erica turned in my directionwith a blank face. My breath caught in my throat and I wasnt surewhat to do.

Even though she remained in her seat, her demeanor spokevolumes. The stiff shoulders. The raised chin. She didnt need tosnarl or frown to show her displeasure. The urge to make a run for itgrabbed me by the back of my neckuntil I noticed Gilda watching

the entire scene. I couldnt resist the feeling of triumph as Ericaslowly reached for my hand. She shook it with what strangers couldcall a hint of a smile. I look forward to the competition, Natalya. Imsure youll do well.

I nodded and returned a similar expression. Damn, sheintimidated me so well. Only another werewolf could detect the


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blacked animosity that practically oozed from her pores.For the next twenty minutes, I sat through the rules presentation

and nodded when appropriate. It didnt take many brain cells tofigure out when to smile or giggle at the jokes. Twice I smiled atanother woman and said, I completely agree. During the whole

time, I reminded myself, Youre not at home alone. You are interactingwith people. Not yourfirst choice, but people who are part of the humanrace. Well, the human and supernatural ones.

Ladies, this year, were doing our mentorship program againwith the Miss Forest River Teen Pageant.

My heart sank. Based on the events for the past five years, I wasntexactly mentor material. I have a job and own a home, but do I reallywant to show my potential mentee that my interests lie in collectingboxes of nutcrackers?

Gilda continued. Ive already selected your mentees at randomfrom a hat. Theyll be here any minute.I didnt mind kids. I mean, I had cousin after cousin to deal with

under the age of eighteen. But Id already bore the brunt of Ericasharassment over Thorn this afternoon. Her demeaning words wererather hard to forget. Especially where my relationship with Thornwas concerned. The very thought of having to act as a mentor droveme nutsand not in a good can of Planters Peanuts kind of way.

The teens filed into the room with bright and smiling faces.Around me, the other contestants smiled and greeted the young

women with grins. Of course, I was the only one with a straight face.For good measure, I applied a half-smile to not frighten them.

Gilda announced the names of the pairs. I watched the girls walkover to the other pageant candidates who stood and said hello with ahandshake or hug. All the girls looked nice and all, but the thoughtof shaking their hands left a sour feeling in my stomach. Id seen myyounger cousins come out of the bathroom with unwashed hands.Most of the kids in my family were Petri dish-covered biohazards.

Three remained and I still didnt have a mentee yet. Of the three,

two appeared ready to burst with sunshine and bubble gum, whilethe third appeared to be there through coercion. Her blackfingernails and dyed sable hair didnt mesh with the peach suit shewore.

And of course Gilda pointed to her, and said, Miss Potts, yourmentor is Natalya Stravinsky.

She nodded and walked over while the other two proceeded to


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squeal with delight for being matched with Becky and Erica. Foronce, I was happy to get a quiet one. We stood beside each other forhalf a minute before I felt compelled to at least introduce myself.

Whats your name?By. She picked at her chipped fingernails. Rather ragged and

sad-looking. But otherwise she appeared put together enough.According to my nose, she was clean with a touch of lilac-scentedperfume.

Bye as in goodbye?Naw. My names Blythe, but I hate it. So my friends call me Bly

as in fly.I nodded. I dont use the name I was born with either. Im called

Nat as in hat.The others around us chatted as if theyd been friends for years.

Gilda peered in our direction and then walked over. Hope you twonewcomers are getting along. I bet youre both nervous. Why dontyou share why youre participating this year? She patted myshoulder and strolled off.

I snorted. Should I tell my mentee I was strong-armed intoparticipating? Thatd be a great way to teach the youth about thevalue of friendship.

You look as excited as I am to be here right now. Im sure youlldo great, I said. With what I hoped was enthusiasm.

Thanks, to be honest Im not thrilled to be here right now, Bly

mumbled.Right there with you. I havent cracked a smile this wide since I

got off buying a whole rack of Christmas clearance at the local7-Eleven.

Blythe nearly choked on her breath mint.Sorry. That was rather outspoken of me. Let me try that again.

This whole afternoon has been such ajoy. How about you? Myvoice dripped with honey.

Thanks to you, I think I may make it into adulthood without

being bored to death tonight, By replied.Believe me, you dont want to try this responsible adult thing.Mortgages, men with crazy girlfriends. I stole a glance at Erica.Staying at home for free with Mom and Dad is where its at.


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That night, the rain continued to fall, leaving the landscape soggyand soaked. The sound of the falling rain was rather relaxingwhenI didnt think about flooding, mud, and all the other gunk peopletracked all over the place.

Aggie and I had eaten dinner at my parents house and shedsomehow survived my aunt Veras matchmaking antics. I felt ratherproud her. Aggie had caught on pretty fast that my distant cousinAnatoly wasnt exactly the hot catch of the year. Especially sincehed finished a relationship with a sixty-five year-old humanwoman. The last Id heard hed moved out of her condo inManhattan.

My aunt had said, He might be twenty-two, Aggie, but hesmature.

Aggie replied as she ate her food. Im not his type. Im broke.Oh, dont say that. He just prefersmature women.Right.I shook my head from the thought and shrugged off my wet

jacket. I took Aggies and placed them in a basket in the laundrynook off the kitchen. With all the problems with Alex, Id forgottenabout Nick, the mysterious attack, and my issues with Thorn. Ihadnt heard from him since yesterday morning. As to why Thorncouldnt call made me suspicious of his feelings. Why did he alwaystake that extra step to see me face-to-face when a message on my cell

phone would suffice? It was those instances that left me wonderingwhy he had to marry Erica.

I headed upstairs to change out of my wet clothes. When I cameback down, I found Aggie sorting through brown boxes I hadnt seenbefore. What do you have there?

She offered a big grin. While youve been busy ignoring the factthe pageant is coming up, Ive been hard at work preparing you forthe big showdown with Miss Holden.

I snorted. If you only knew how easily I forgot.

Oh, stop it. I found a talent for you.This had to be good. In my mind, Id shoved the Miss ForestPageant into a deep crevasse in my brain where I couldnt cringeevery time I thought about taffeta and April Hastings screeching outthe American anthem with her mother banging out the tune on thepiano.

I asked, What kind of talent is that?And please let it involve


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clothing.Its the only thing I could think of for you. I talked about it with

your Aunt Olga and since you cant dance, sing, or play aninstrument other than a cow bell youre stuck with using the Rubikscube.

I laughed until my side ached. And then I laughed even morewhen I noticed she was dead serious.

Of all the hairbrained ideas that youve come up with in the past,I said. You seriously think people are going to be impressed withthis? And first of all, what makes you think I still know how to usethis? I did that kind of stuff in high school.

I picked up the cube she placed on the coffee table. The disheveledcolors bothered me to no end and my fingers itched to aligneverything correctly. I was lame when I did this, and Ill be even

more lame if I do it again.Aggie stepped forward and pushed the cube toward my chest.Prove me wrong then. Show me you cant do it. Her grin widenedand then she took a step back.

You know as well as I do it takes practice to keep up a skill likethis.

Okay, you can thrill me now.I glanced at the cube. My fingers rubbed the green spots and then

the white ones. Then my hands flew. Somehow I knew whereeverything should go. I wasnt sure how many seconds had passed,

but when I placed the completed cube back down on the table Iheard Aggie chortle.

Youre still a nerd, she said. But I love you either way.Bitch.Now thats calling the kettle black. She laughed. Okay, talent

check. She opened the box and revealed a garment bag.Your aunt donated a dress for you. And before you give me that

look its one of her friends dresses from Russia.I shuddered. From the eighties?

No, not from the eighties. She has a friend she mentors over in St.Petersburg. She told me Yelena kindly sent over a dress for you towear. Your aunt is so excited about your participation that she had agenuine dress acquired for you.

I peered at the garments back and checked out the royal bluedress. The see-through garment bag showed off the fine detail of thecorset and snug-fitting skirt. I tried to resist smiling. It was beautiful.


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Not my normal attire, but even I could appreciate something wherelove had been used to place every zipper, button, and shimmer.

Now, Aunt Olga told me we may need the dress adjusted. Shesaid Yelena is five-foot-eleven and with you at less than that thedress will trail all over the place.

Aggies size perhaps? Sounds like the perfect height for you.Aggie looked over the dress and found the zipper. Here, take the

dress and try it on. No backing out now. You have a talent and dress.That should be enough to either win or humiliate yourself. But wewont think that way, will we?

She pushed the garment into my hands. I tried not to think of it asa foreign object. The perfumed dress flowed through my fingers likea waterfall of silk. If I wore this dress, would people think differentlyof me? I pushed a tendril of my hair behind my ear and tried to

imagine myself on the stage waving at the crowd. The idea pouredan avalanche of fear over my confidence.Okay, when you get back from your trip to Fantasy Land with

Peter Pan could you try on the dress? Aggie asked. I was hoping toput it back into the garment bag this century.

I opened my mouth to offer Aggie a piece of my mind, but decidedit was best to simply stalk into my room to try on the dress. As Iattempted to wiggle into the Miss St. Petersburg outfit from a morecheerful time, I heard the phone ring twice.

Could you pick it up? I grumbled.

I faintly heard her chatting with a manager at Barneys Pickles. Alively discussion about pricing mistakes for Barneys BountifulBasket of Pickles came up multiple times. If I had to discuss theintricacies of baskets of wrapped pickles, Id need more medication.

The mirror needed my attention right now. With hair in disarrayand not a stitch of makeup, I appeared out of place in the gown. Icouldnt prevent the sigh from between my lips as I slid my fingersdown the dress which clung to my hips. The dress hugged my bodyand accentuated my features but for some reason it didnt feel right.

These werent my usual clothes. Not the ones I wore everyday andbrought me comfort.I slowly took off the gown while trying to ignore the growing

anxiety in my chest. What reason did I have for this crazy venture?The side of my mouth lifted for a half smile. Oh yes, the possiblevictory of a leg up against Erica. But what would happen if I win?Hell, I knew if I lost I wouldnt score any brownie points. Would the


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fruit of my labor be worth it to face the wrath of that woman?With the utmost care, I placed the dress into the garment bag. I

had a few days to figure out what direction I needed to take. Rightnow I had too many doubts and a zealous friend bent on my victory.

I found Aggie wrapping up her phone call in the kitchen. Instead

of an irritated smile, she glowed as walked over to me with adevilish grin. I have a fabulous idea for the pageant. Your talentwill blow people away.

My eyebrow rose. Rubiks cube performances that would blowpeople awayNow this I had to hear.

The night of the pageant left me in a dazed state. Tomorrow thefull moon would crest in the sky and Id bow down to the urges of

my werewolf ancestry. I took two pills the day before to keep myselfin check, but I noticed the wolf straining to emerge. I was alreadystressed out about the Long Island werewolves. The scent of theirattack lingered in the air and left me feeling wary.

Aggie gripped my hand with concern as we drove to thecommunity theater. Youre shaking like a dog fresh from the wintercold. Take deep breaths.

I tried to relax and allow the medication to do its job, but a sideeffect of the jitters snuck up on me. Tonight would be a Friday nightfreak show if I couldnt keep myself under wraps.

Dont wolf out on me and scare all the nice humans in theaudience.

Just shut up! I bit my lip until I drew blood. Why couldnt sheallow me this one time to vent?

Cut it out, Nat. This isnt the time to wig out. Her command hadundertones I couldnt deny. She didnt like to exert her superiority,but right now I needed it.

A calming wave hit my body and I tried to ride it the rest of theway to the theater.

Much better. Now deep breaths, in and out.In the parking lot, we found Aunt Olga waiting for us with AuntVera. I smiled when both of their faces welcomed me.

You look beautiful, Natalya, Aunt Vera said.Thank you. I nodded in her direction while Aggie and I pulled

the bags from the back of my car.Once we get inside we can go over the final details before the


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pageant. Aunt Olga took over like a stern sergeant. She stood to theside dressed in a forest-green colored dress with a straight back andperfect eyebrows. I couldnt imagine the number of hours requiredto pluck those things.

Once inside the community theater, we proceeded to the dressing

room. The other contestants, along with their teen mentees, foundspaces where they could to hang their garment bags and boxes ofmakeup and whatever else crap they needed to look good.

With whatever pride I could muster, I dropped my box of Rubikscubes on a table to the side. Others peered at me with curiosity. Icould see the fear in their eyes, yep, fear of losing out to the chickwith the box of Rubiks cubes. I was so screwed.

Aunt Olga ordered Aggie around to prepare my clothes. I thinkshe hadnt expected her little scheme to turn into full blown

servitude to my aunt. While I applied my foundation, Aggieprepared my dress and swim suit.Are you sure I have to wear that thing? Id tried on the

monokini, or a bikini that resembled a one-piece disaster, in theswimsuit store, and never looked at it again for the sake of mysanity.

You could go out naked?Yeah, thatll win me the competition.Erica sat next to Becky on the other side of the room. I tried to

ignore her as she smiled and greeted the other women. She exuded a

confidence that I had to admit left me a bit flustered. From the wayshe applied her makeup to the blonde curls that perfectly floweddown her back. The woman couldve held up a shampoo bottle andcompanies wouldve come calling about product endorsement.Becky sat on her other side and reflected the same.

Move it, Natalya, my aunt barked in Russian. Your makeupwill not apply itself. You still have to put on your dress and go overthe final details. I need fifteen minutes for that.

A line of sweat formed in the middle of my back. The line to reach

the stage frightened me to no end. Id marched with the rest of thewomen two days ago during the dress rehearsal, but it wasnt thesame thing as the moment when you knew over a hundred peoplewaited in the audience. I had to bring the whole package together,even if a fang threatened to sneak out of my mouth.

I tried to reach within for the confident woman who used to walkwith poise and purpose. How long had it been since Id seen her in


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the mirror? The woman in my shoes right now had the right dress,the right shoes, and a perfect hairdo to boot. But I didnt feel asconfident.

Aunt Olga placed her hands on my shoulders and gave them asoft squeeze. Natashechka, youll dazzle them tonight, she

whispered. Hold your head high and you will conquer all thatoppose you. Speak the truth and you will receive the truth inreturn.

My aunt had never spoken to me in such a fashion before. Id beenborn Natasha Fyodorova Stravinsky. Not more than a few hoursafter leaving the hospital, theyd called me Natalya and the namestuck. To hear my name in such a manner gave me pause. Almost asif she truly acknowledged my presence. For that brief moment intime we connected on a level which filled me with bliss.

Shed taught me many things over the past couple of days. Not itwas time for me to show what I could do.With Aunt Olgas pep talk in mind, I walked across the stage to

join the line of women. Becky stood at the front and glowed whileErica stood at my far side with grace. I wondered if anyone could seeme beyond her golden mane of hair. The stuff practically glowedwith the sheen of a collie.

Gilda, who acted as the announcer for the evening, wore whitebright enough to blind the audience (who I could barely see, thankgoodness), introduced us one by one for a brief walk around the

stage. The whole time I walked I said to myself over and over again,One foot in front of the other. The audience is butt-naked. Bared to theworld in their birthday suits. And they look like Brad Pitt. Yes, Brad Pittlike when he was delicious in Fight Club.

By the time I returned to the line to pose my face hurt from all thesmiling Id done. How professionals did all this happy-go-lucky stufffrom day-to-day I didnt know. Pissed off people definitely had lessendorphins, but the facial pain from smiling wouldnt be so bad.

After introductions, Gilda announced that wed perform our

talents and then move on to the swimsuit portion. To my profoundrelief, Id learned earlier that the roster sheet said my performancewould come second to last.

When I headed back to the dressing room, I turned to see Beckyand Erica staring me down. No smiles or frowns, simply eyes whichbore into my own. Ericas blue eyes dared my own to hold them. Shewanted me to challenge her. And I didfor a second longer than I


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I nodded. She didnt ask a question so why should I talk?My dad said hed hook me up with a new car if I finaled so I cant

wait.I chuckled and tried to hold it in. Yep, wheels had a way of

motivating our troubled youth.You look so beautiful, By said. Ive never seen you look like

this. During rehearsal, you never dressed like this.I wanted to tell her there was a very high probability shed never

see me dressed like this gain, but instead I smiled and patted herhand. Why yes, nothings stressing me out at all.

I perked up when I heard someone say, Youre up, Erica.Erica left the room without glancing in my direction. She didnt

need to acknowledge me. But I joined the others and said, Goodluck, Erica. Even with her sour treatment, I could at least try to be

polite. And hey, Miss Congeniality won extra points, right?Five minutes later, the auditorium shook with thunderous

applause after Ericas piano piece. Even I could hear how well sheplayed. She commanded the keys and played Rachminoff with suchfervor that even I appreciated her talent. To a point anyhow.

One more contestant and Id enter the cave of doom. April stoodproudly and marched out to sing her song. All I had to do was holdmyself together for five more minutes. A quick glance at my wristconfirmed I was fur-free. One problem averted.

Erica re-entered the room to congrats and smiles. She thanked

everyone, including me for some reason, and walked over to Beckyto speak. The noise in the room prevented me from hearing them,but from the way they glanced in my direction, I knew they wantedme to crash and burn. They knew what I planned to do. They saw asimple demo during the rehearsal. I took one cube and fixed it. But Idid it slowlyon purpose. Why allow them the pleasure of knowingwhat I planned to do?

After the friendly applause for Aprils performance, I was called tostandby.

Good luck with your cubes, Natalya, Erica chirped.Even though a thank you seemed unnecessary with such a snidecomment, I still said, Why thank you.

Oh, Nat!Id left my table, only to turn around and see Becky holding a cube

Id left. You forgot your cube, she purred.I almost left it behind, I said.


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Becky placed her hand on her hip and offered a soft smile. Blackwidows couldve crawled out of her ears, but she still wouldvemaintained that stone-cold expression. We wouldnt want yourperformance to go poorly.

Then Erica whispered soft enough for only the wolves in the room

to hear, I cant believe shes headed to the stage to do that shit.As I reached the edge of the stage, my feet began to scrape against

the floor. I peered at my reflection in the shiny wood. I could do this.The stage had been set by Aggie. All I had to do was perform.Gildas voice came through the speakers, but I had trouble

focusing on her words. That was a wonderful performance byApril. Shes an absolute sweetheart. And our next contestant isNatalya Stravinsky, another one of our local girls. Please welcomeNatalya.

I paused for a moment as the applause began. Oh, shit, move legs move! A hand touched my back and I turned tosee Thorn pushing me forward.

What are you doing here? I whispered.Against my back, he replied, You may not see me, but Im always

around.With a meager surge of confidence, I marched onto the stage with

legs cut from a bowl of Jell-O. I pasted a smile on my face andwalked to the spot on the floor for contestants to stand. I was quitegrateful someone placed the damn thing there or I may have

continued walking to the other side of the stage.The applause nearly deafened my ears. On the stage, a table had

been left for me with my five cubes. Gilda waited patiently andhanded me the microphone.

Oh, shit. Did they expect me to speak? After the warm device wasplaced into my hands, I tried to think of something witty to say,instead silence prevailed. I had five to eight minutes to perform and Iwas standing here waiting for the whistling crickets to do something.

A voice in the distance whispered, Move it, Natalya.Aggie.

Good evening, everyone. Awkward pause. The current WorldRecord for speedcubing the Rubiks cube is seven seconds. Everyonethrough the years has enjoyed the cube and this evening I plan toshowcase the art of speedcubing.

Aggie hissed, Remember the contest!I perked up. In addition, for each cube I complete, Barneys

Pickles will donate meals to the local food pantry. Wish me luck


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everyone. I put down the microphone and prepared everything.Aggies idea was ingenious, but in my current state I wondered if Idpull it off. My hands trembled as I gazed at the five cubes on thesmall end table. I tried to clear my mind but thoughts swirledaround it. The stage with numerous bright lights and a murmuring

audience didnt help. Due to my damn werewolf hearing, I couldhear every snicker or snore. Old man Andrew Hill was knocked outin the third row and I could hear his snores rolling in the distancelike a freight train. The Holdsteads baby cried. Concentrate. Stop it!

Id already wasted half a minute letting them distract me. I pickedup the counter and handed it to Gilda who stood off to the side.Could you kindly start the countdown?

Gilda smiled and then said, You have three minutes. And go!I stood there like an oaf.

From the side, Aggie growled, Oh, come on! Dont freeze up rightnow. Move, your ass.After she said the command, my hands moved. The push in her

words drop-kicked me into action. Then all I heard was the click,click, and click. The swish, swish, swish as my hands flew over thecubes. Thirty seconds for the first cube. Cube down. Twenty secondsfor the second. Click, click. I was thriving in the zone now. Nineteenseconds for the third cube.

Times running out, girlie.Faster, faster. Fourth cube dazzled the audience. Two astonished

women exclaimed, Wow! Fifteen seconds and I didnt blink once.A round of applause exploded in the room as I slammed the fourthcube on the table. Who knew these folks liked the cube?

In my haze, Gilda said, Thirty seconds. Caught in the moment,she offered a girlish giggle.

The final cube burned into my palm. Time to finish this. Myfingers flew and I saw the final formation in my mind. Flick,flick.Then my brain stopped. Not now. The woman picked up her cryingbaby and started to leave. Id ignored them before, but as the babys

howls increased my mind sought out the distraction like a hungrysponge searching for water. My gray matter sought chaos and withthe cube nearly solved I couldnt focus.

Gilda shouted her countdown, Ten, nine... Move, move. My hands flew again to complete the cube. I finallyslammed it down on the table as she yelled, Time.

I stared at the cube and table as silence prevailed. Their initial


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applause echoed in my mind. I didnt want to look up to face them.Id barely made it and stood there most of the time like some mimewho posed in silence. But then I heard it. One set of hands inapplause. Then three turned into everyone cheering and whistling.Holy shit! I did it.

Great job, Natalya. Everyone, look, she completed all the cubeswithin three minutes. Im sure our food pantry on Dover Road willbe more than happy to accept five nights worth of meals fromBarneys Pickles.

I nodded and tried to move an arm which felt like a block of lead.My wave resembled a floppy wet noodle. I really had this pageantthing down pat. Yet my event had been victorious. So why did I feeldefeated all of a sudden?

When I entered the dressing room, the women surrounded me and

offered praise.I would have never done something like that, one said.Another said, How cool.Erica and Becky stood to the side. Their obligatory, Well done,

had been said briefly for the benefit of the others nearby.I headed to my seat and plopped down. Another contestant

needed to perform after me, but then Id need to return to the stagefor the swimsuit portion. Good grief, what had I done to myself? Ididnt have the confidence to face Erica and Becky.

After a few cleansing breaths, I wrung my cold fingers together to

generate warmth. I could do this. An hour more and I wouldvepushed my goals even further. Soon Id stand in front of the SouthToms River Township and speak again while wearing a swimsuit. Itried to wrap my mind around my accomplishments as another partof me tried to shrink away with claws reared.

Anxiety crept into my mind like a dark leash tight around myneck. Not now. I had taken the medicine. It shouldnt have worn offby now. My toes curled in the shoes and the claws strained toemerge. The wolf stirred and wanted to vent the anxiety.

The girl beside me smiled and said, You okay, Nat? You look alittle pale.This is my first pageant. Im adjusting, I murmured.I didnt get applause like that. She patted my shoulder. The

strawberry blonde curls down her back jiggled. Matter of fact, Ieven heard a few whistles. I just hope I place.

I nodded.


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17

Do you need help with your makeup before you put on yourswimsuit?

I turned and looked at her. If my memory hadnt failed me, hername was Angela. I hadnt expected her to offer help.

We have a few minutes and you look a bit frazzled. She giggled

and her enthusiasm was infectious. She stood and walked up to me.Goodness gracious. Time to get you gussied up.

Only a man, a lecherous one at that, would tell women theyshould wear swimsuits and parade around for points in a beautycontest. This lecherous planner also mustve been in on requiring thequestion and answer session to be conducted while the contestantswore swimsuits.

As I stood on the stage, trying to hold the perfect pose that didntreveal my goodies, I kept telling myself that the men in the audiencewerent imagining me naked. That the women who sat nearbycheering on their sisters and wives didnt look at me withcondemnation.

Gilda questioned each contestant with a list wed seen the weekendbefore the competition. The questions ranged from the standard like,What could you do to help the South Toms River community? Tothe clich ones like, Where do you see yourself in five years?

So Im sure you imagine my surprise when Gilda held the mike

and asked me, Where do you see yourself in five years?For half a sec, I frowned. I wouldve settled just fine for the

previous question another girl had, What is the most prevalentproblem in our community? Or what the woman had in front ofher, What would you tell your future self if you saw her fifty yearsfrom now?

I almost heard the Jeopardy! music while I stood there stammering.Think of something eloquent! My mind wrapped around sayingsomething really cool like, Id like to further my education, perhaps

pursue a masters degree and then open my own business.Instead, I said, I see myself as being alive in five years. You know,the way the world is changing our children have to face challengeswe didnt know about ten years ago. Drugs and crime are stillprevalent. Off stage, someone moved their hands in the wrap itup motion. Oh, damn. Im babbling cynical nonsense.Who in their right mind says


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SHAWNTELLE MADISON

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they want to be alive? Instead of playing the music when peopleblathered on and on they had some dude off the stage wave hishands like one of those groundsmen who guided planes into theairport.

Somehow, I finished with, In conclusion, I hope to see myself

within five years make an impact on society.The audience applauded and I walked back into line with a

trembling smile. I just couldnt get any lamer at this point. Even myinner wolf wanted to run off the stage. Somehow I waited patientlyas the rest of the contestants completed their Q&A.

Fifteen minutes later, with our gowns back on, we stood in a lineon the stage waiting for the placement. The teens had learned theirresults a few minutes earlier. My mentee Bly placed third. Shebeamed with pride after hearing her name. She waved briefly in my

direction and smirked at the audience. I sure hoped her parents hadgreat car insurance.At first I thought wed learn our placements right after, but Gilda

began a long speech on how women needed better life skills tosurvive in the US today. How the old guard, which included womenher age, respected themselves and strived to work toward leadershipin the community. Younger women needed to see the power within.Naturally, I agreed with her sentiments.

What women needed today was stability also. Not that wecouldnt adapt to change, but lets keep it real here. I could use a lot

less stressors in our life. My mom had to deal with not only a full-time job, but she had to raise my brother and I while dealing withdads antics. (A gold medal should be offered for marrying any manin my family.) I had to content with invading werewolf packs,psycho girlfriends, and most of all, triffling customers. As to how Iwas breathing and thinking at the same time shouldve been amiracle.

While I pondered on the speech at hand, everyone in line seemedso serene from the outside, but I could practically smell their

impatience underneath the cloud of perfume. They wanted the damnresults. If Gilda spoke anymore, two or three of the girls mightswarm on her like my pack on a meal.

Finally Gilda said, Now, the results for the womens division. Iam so thankful for our judges today whove spent their timeconsidering each candidate. Now, on to our winners. Fifth placerunner up goes to Angela Jackson.


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The strawberry blonde smiled and waved at the audience beforeshe headed over to Gilda to accept her small bouquet of flowers andcrown.

The fourth place went to another girl I vaguely knew. Wed goneto high school together, but never spoke.

Now for the moment youve been waiting for! Our third placewinner scored highly and Im pleased to announce her as part of ourtop three winners.

At this point, all I could do was smile. Id lost out on a lowerplacement which Id hoped to secure. I hoped to best Erica atsomething but by this point I wanted the torture of the evening to beover. My stress level had been pushed to new limits today.

Erica Holden is our third place winner. The crowd erupted intoapplause even though none of them saw Erica had clenched her fists.

Her subdued anger flared strongly under her skin as she went toGilda. It was strong enough to make me cower a bit. As last yearswinner, shed expected the judges to place her at the top again.

Even if I didnt win, this moment (as I cowered from how pissedErica was), was worth its weight in gold to see her march up to Gildawith a smile pasted on her face as she accepted the third placecrown. (And that crown wasnt as large as the first place one thatwaited on the side table.)

Naturally, my stress lessened. Wow, those endorphins came out ofnowhere.

Our second place winner for the evening is Natalya Stravinsky. Ill be damned. Did she say my name? The women beside mebeamed and congratulated me. Another contestant pushed meforward when I didnt budge.

I slowly walked across the stage to Gilda. The roar of applausewas like white noise in my ears. It made it difficult for me toconcentrate, but I made it to Gilda to accept the crown. I crouched asshe placed the crown on my head. The tingling sensation in my toesspread up my legs and down my arms to my fingers. Was this what

winning felt like?I tried to wrap my mind around the situation as Gilda placed thebouquet of flowers in my hand. The sweet scent of roses filled mynose. The scent of victory. But as I walked to stand among thewinners as single though prevailed: Im so dead meat now. The smileon my lips faltered. The open spot next to Erica was far too close foreven my comfort. Mere inches separated us. Enough for me to feel


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SHAWNTELLE MADISON

20

the building heat under her skin. All the while, Erica continued tobeam to the audience.

Faintly, I heard Gilda call the first place winner: Becky Knoll.Ouch. Not only did Erica lose to me, but shed been lost to her bestfriend also.

Ericas lips parted slightly, then she whispered. So low, that Iknew with each of my quickened heartbeats that each word wasmeant for me. Fifteen years of piano instruction. Nine years ofballet, jazz, and tap. And you waltz in here with the worst talent Iveever seen... Youll regret fucking with me. Enjoy it now. While thefeeling lasts. She eyed me up and down--almost daring me to speak.

Even with my victory, shed easily pushed me down a peg or two.Her words echoed in my head and then sliced through my chest likea serated blade. What would Erica Holden do if she was pushed too

far?

The trip home sucked.You may have won second place, but you just placed yourself

high on Ericas shit list, Aggie grumbled. My best friend sure knewhow to make the smell of satisfaction turn putrid. We left theauditorium into a downpour. It was still raining and miserableoutside.

Whatever happened these days to Congratulations on dragging

vindictive bitches through the mud? I said. No, its Gee, you surewon and now youre about to get your ass kicked! Thanks for thevote of confidence, Aggie.

Hey, I wasnt the one who took a trip to FunkyTown. Im joking,Nat.

And where were you anyway? I stood there by myself in thereception for the longest of time while Erica gave me her death-raystare.

They had refreshments in the corner. And since someone doesnt

allow certain foods in the houseIs food all you think about? UghIm sorry I said that.Aggie frowned, then smirked. Not all the time. I have other

thingsmen friendswho occupy my thoughts.Her attempt to brighten the mood shouldve worked, but the trip

home was silent instead. The crown didnt feel as lucky anymore.Matter of fact, it weighed me down. I tried to think of what Id


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21

gained tonight. A great victory against Erica Holden. To have a thirdof the werewolves in town see me win a prize over her wasexhilarating. Id accomplished so much. I held tight to the thrill ofwinning as closely as I could.


22/22

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