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GET YOUR EVENT LISTED:e-mail: HELLO@

DEEP-LONDON.CO.UKwhat’s on listings are

absolutely FREE!

Last date forinclusion in June issue -

25th May 2012

Hello there.....and welcome to isue 99. Sorry, I’m a bit distracted at the

moment, I thought I just spotted the sun, but no, it was merelyan illusion caused by yet another massive black rain cloudmoving overhead. What the bleedin’ hell is going on, that’s whatI want to know - I’m not built for this weather, I can tell you.And other such meteorological musings. Still, it passes the timedoesn’t it, in a month which seems to me to be the calm beforethe storm, if you’ll pardon the reference to yet more rubbishweather, as we gear up to a HUGE summer of MASSIVE events.And can I just say, at this juncture, that it was nice of the Queento have the presence of mind in 1952 to coincide her DiamondJubilee precisely with our 9th birthday and 100th issue, just sowe could all get an extra day off to celebrate. Cheers YourMadge, very big of you. Talking of our big event, we haveactually started making plans for a party, which we’ll reveal thedetails of next month, when we’ll also unveil our Croydon pubOlympics wheeze. Possibly. AND we hear a rumour that MysticMike may make a birthday return, but it depends whether hecan be arsed or not.

But enough of the future, back to the present and this issue,which is sadly Auntie-May-less, but never fear, she’s just onholiday and will be back next month, and in the meantime we’vegot Matt LeBlanc, which is nice, if you like that sort of thing, aswell as the marvellous Tamsin Greig and Stephen Mangan, a tripto the Joiners Arms to celebrate an anniversary, some folk music,covers and our regular film and techie slots with Tom and Stephrespectively, so the usual old rubbish you’ve been reading, fornish, for the last ninety eight times it’s been thrust in front ofyou.

In other news, as you can probably tell from anothermeandering editorial, the organisational issues mentioned lastmonth are somewhat ongoing, and unless someone wants todonate to me versions of Quark and Photoshop that don’trequire the Classic environment to run (or a new mac with newversions installed, hint hint) they look set to continue,compounded, into the near future at least. In other words, my

faithful old Mac isnearing the end of itslifetime, and all myworldy-wornprogrammes are tooold. Sadly, I know thefeeling...Still, life begins at 100,so until next month,Avanti, Allons-y,Cheers! Angela xxx

Contact Us:editor: angela ferraratel: 07910 506197 e: angela@deep-london.co.uk

staff and contributors: petal dunwoody, stephanie darkes, tomdennett-cook, evelina beckers.

advertising sales:call angela on 07910 506197 or e-mail angela@deep-london.co.uk

publishing & design: deep-london

RIP: Ken ‘Bugger Off’ Holland - racingand cricket enthusiast, avid Charlton fan,landlord extraordinaire and a truegentleman - God bless you.

Dick Clark, Jim Marshall, Bert Weedon,Terry Spinks, Khalil Dale, MCA,

deep online at: www.deep-london.co.uk • www.issuu.com •www.facebook.com/deeplondon • twitter @deep_london

May 2012Issue Ninety Nine

1

Your Bonsai Editor

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LISTINGS:

THIS MONTH’SFEATURES:

What’s On Guide 21

This Month’s Sport 34

Episodes 4

Joseph Topping 8

The Twirlies 10

40 Years atThe Joiners 12

Steph Darkes’ Twitterama 14

Reviews From TheOuter Rim 16

Month In Pictures 36

MAY 2012

36 10

12

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For those that missed the first seriesof the award-winning, criticallyacclaimed comedy Episodes,

written by David Crane (Friends) andJeffrey Klarik (Mad About You), a quickrecap. Essentially, Matt LeBlanc plays anoutrageous version of himself, asurprising, multifaceted role againstStephen Mangan (Green Wing and DirkGently) and Tamsin Greig (Black Booksand Friday Night Dinner), who play Seanand Beverly Lincoln, an English couplewhose BAFTA-winning sitcom is remadefor US audiences and corrupted beyondrecognition.

In series one, Sean and Beverly arelured to Hollywood to adapt their much-loved British boarding-school sitcom,Lyman s Boys . However, the intelligentoriginal is soon mangled by the US TV

system into Pucks! for which thenetwork insist on replacing the leadactor (an elderly, erudite Shakespeareanveteran played by Richard Griffiths) withMatt LeBlanc and turning the characterinto a hockey coach.

Matt comes on board, and soon Seanand Beverly find themselves in acomplicated triangle which threatens todestroy not only their TV show, but alsotheir marriage. By the end of the firstseries, all three are bloodied and bruised,with hearts broken and friendshipsruined.

That s when the network calls to givethem the good news: their show is beingpicked up for a full series. On Matt sexcitement, and Sean and Beverly sdismay, we end the series knowing thatthey ll be forced to work togetherdespite the complete mess they ve madeof their lives.

The second series picks up fourmonths after the end of the first. Seanand Beverly s marriage has been blownapart by Beverly s fling with Matt, andMatt s friendship with Sean appears tobe beyond salvage. But as their sitcomPucks! is about to premiere, all three areforced to find a way to continue

working together.As the series progresses, we are

plunged deeper into the twisted world ofmaking television. It s a portrait galleryof megalomaniac network executives,surgically-enhanced actresses and nakedstalkers who appear unexpectedly inyour kitchen.

Through it all, Sean and Beverlystruggle to rediscover the love they hadwhen they started their Americanadventure, while Matt struggles toreclaim the stardom that was once his.

Matt says: “When the second seasonstarts, we are all doing our best tonavigate this awkward love triangle.People ask which Matt is the real me,but the writers will take a seed from myreal life and grow it into an idea. I don tmind if people think Matt LeBlanc on

screen is the real me because it meanswe have done a great job of creating abelievable character.

“My whole career I have played verypolitically correct characters and to nothave to worry about major networkconstraints - you can't say that or youcan't do that gesture or put your handthere or refer to those - is such fun. Nowit's like ‘**** all that’!”

He was equally amused by thereaction of TV bosses in Hollywood afterthe series went out in the US.

“The industry in LA has reallyembraced the show. It's funny to hearcertain people say I know who thatcharacter is basedon, it s so and so ,and I know it'sreally based onthem! The showisn’t just aboutHollywood TVsystem, it’s aboutthree people andthe intricacies ofrelationships.”

For Matt, themost upsettingpart of his fling

with Beverly was that he lost his bestfriend Sean, so while Beverly tries tosave her marriage, he is trying to get his“bromance” back on track.

“We do eventually patch things upbecause we have to, don't we? Hecomes back to me kicking andscreaming! Beverly and Matt are on thesame side of the argument because Seanwon't forgive Matt either. There are a lotof weird scenes with the three of us.”

How it would work, taking a versionof who he is and twisting it into a larger-than-life character, was the only thingthat gave him any hesitation when hewas first approached by the show’screators. Rather than set the boundarieshimself, he agreed to tell them if hethought the scripts went too far, but sofar he has never ruled out any aspect ofhis life for comedy.

“There is no handbook for this,” hesays. “We decided we would navigatethrough it together and anything that Iam not comfortable with we won't do,but it’s been really fun. The only timeI’ve felt I had to call someone in my lifeto explain was one moment in the firstseason where Matt goes to his ex-wife'shouse and uses a very derogatory term.So I called my ex-wife and said, ‘This isgoing to come up, and it's not aboutyou. The guy uses the word because hedoesn't understand the ramifications’.And she said, 'That's fine, I don't watchit!’”

For Tamsin Greig, the first questionshe’s now constantly being asked is‘what was it like kissing Matt LeBlanc?’

“What's so interesting is the numberof women - really brilliant, professional,educated, dynamic women - who havesaid to me 'what was it like?’”, she

Deep catches up with the stars of the award winning and savage UK / US co-productioncomedy Episodes, Matt LeBlanc, Tamsin Greig and Stephen Mangan, ahead of the muchanticipated second series. . .

“My whole career I’ve played politically correctcharacters. To not worry about those constraints issuch fun. Now it’s like ‘**** all that’!”

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laughs. “I’m sure no one said to Matt 'what

was it like kissing Tamsin Greig, thatmust have been a real highlight of yourcareer?' He is just a bloke and actuallykissing is so technical, it's about being atthe right angle and having the mouth ina certain position, it's really not aboutwhat you are doing. You can't say 'whatwas it like?' because it wasn't a realkiss.”

But the kiss, and what went with it,has shaped the whole of series two, asBeverly, Sean and Matt are forced towork together, whilst coping with theaftermath of the drunken encounter.

Tamsin says: “Beverly and Sean’spositions are diametrically opposed tothe first series where she didn't want tobe there and he did. Now Sean is therebecause his contract says he has to be,while Beverly is there because she wantsto save her marriage and she knows ifthey go home their marriage is over.”

It also means that she and Matt arenow on the same side, trying to makeamends for what happened.

“They are now interestingly allied

because they both lost Sean. They wantto keep Sean there and they both wantto win his heart back.”

Tamsin says a lot of actors anddirectors have told her the series struck achord as they watched Sean and Beverlystruggle to keep their comedy’s integrity,despite the pressure from the LA TVindustry.

“A number of actors have said theywent into a cold sweat when theywatched the scene with Richard Griffithsbecause that happened to them, it is sobrutally real. Although it is soexcruciatingly funny it is shockinglypainful when that happens. That peoplehave that amount of power to reducepeople in that way.”

But she believes it is Matt’swillingness to take the mickey out of hisimage and the cult of celebrity that hasmade the show such a success.

“Matt is a game bird because it blowsout of the water this idea of celebrityand that you can possibly know themfrom glossy magazines and paparazziphotographs. So for him to play aninvention of Matt LeBlanc is such abrilliant way for him to say you don'treally know. That might happen, thatmight not happen - you just don'tknow.”

Despite hersuccess with hitshows includingGreen Wing, BlackBooks and FridayNight Dinner,Tamsin has neverbeen tempted totry her luck in theUS and says shehas no ambitiousmasterplan for acareer inHollywood.

She says: “I amnot stupid - I'mnot young andI'm not beautiful.The beauty of thisshow is that it’smade over here,but you get to experience a bit ofAmerica as well, so you get to dip yourtoe in that world. If a job fell fromheaven that was in America I'd have ago, but I don't feel compelled to go andhunt it down. I am interested in showsthat are not out-and-out gag fests: you

see the truth of a broken heart behindthem. That is what life is like, it's reallyfunny, you see funny things as soon asyou step out of the room, butunderneath that is a whole bag ofbroken hearts. It's that real pain and thatreal hilarity that makes life sointriguing.”

Stuck in the middle in series two, andcoming out fighting after Matt has sleptwith Beverly. is Stephen Mangan, whoplays Sean;

“I don't want to give too much awaybut don't mess with Mangan. I damagedMatt LeBlanc - what can I say? Acting isa tough business...“Sean came out to Hollywood full ofnaivety and optimism. He was excited bythe prospect of working in TV in theStates. But his show is horrible and hiswife has slept with Matt LeBlanc. He isnot unmarked by that, he's more seriousand more angry. The experience hasbeen hard on him,” says Stephen.

But even though he is still reelingfrom the collapse of his marriage, itdoesn’t stop him having a fling of hisown with sexy “Pucks!” star MorningRandolph (Mircea Monroe).

Stephen says: “He's not cheating onanybody, he's not being unfaithfulbecause he and Beverly are not together.

And it was his birthday and she was upfor it. Who was it going to hurt?”

The show reunited Stephen andTamsin after their triumphantcollaboration on Green Wing, and hesays it has made playing husband andwife much easier.

“Sometimes, when you play husbandand wife, you are meeting the otherperson for the first time. But we havethis real relationship where we knoweach other so well, and we have knowneach other for so many years, and wemake each other laugh, which is all a bigbonus.”

He and Matt have also struck up afriendship and Stephen went to staywith him in his home in California.

“There's nowhere in the world he cango without being recognised andcausing excitement. It's interesting howinvisible you become walking aroundwith him. I'm not massively famous, afew people know who I am, but thatlevel of interest and hassle isextraordinary and he handles itincredibly well.”

But Matt has yet to take up Stephen’soffer to show him some of his favouriteaspects of London.

“I can’t drive him around in a Ferrarilike he did with me, so instead I've beentrying to get him to come and seeTottenham Hotspur play football, but Idon't think there is much hope of that.He can't believe a sport lasts 45 minuteswithout a break and the level of cateringis not high enough - a lukewarm chickenand mushroom pie won't do...”

Episodes returns for a second serieson BBC Two from 11 May 2012 at

10pm.

“I’m sure no one said to Matt ‘what was it likekissing Tamsin Greig, that must have been a realhighlight of your career...?’”

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Joe Topping is a singer-songwriterand multi-instrumentalist fromthe Wirral, whose musical

journey so far has been as colourful asit has varied.

Joe has always been surrounded bymusic; his dad, Tom, who in additionto being a semi-pro musician ran a folkclub and put on gigs by people asvaried as Billy Connelly to StephanGrapelli, from Martin Carthy to bluesmusician Blind Jessie Fuller. Many ofthese influences filtered down to Joewho is playing anything fromtraditional British folk music to Deltablues slide guitar. Joe also “has a giftto write songs that will last and thatothers will want to sing” (John Wright)and “one of the most beautiful voices Ihave heard” (Chris While). At gigs youare just as likely to hear him playingthe mandolin, bouzouki, harmonica,dobro or banjo as you are the guitar.

Joe is adventurous, whether livingand travelling around America andCanada in a pick-up truck or walkingacross the Namib Desert in aid of alandmine charity. He is ever looking tobe challenged and the summer of2006 saw him undertake his biggestadventure yet: a 1,400 mile solowalk across America. With an oldGibson guitar strapped to his back, Joewalked from Chicago and the shores ofLake Michigan in the north, south toNew Orleans and the Gulf of Mexico.A journey rich in musical flavour andhistory: Chicago, StLouis, Nashville, Memphis, theMississippi Delta, Baton Rouge;sleeping along the way in motels,cornfields, cotton fields, graveyards,backyards and sugar plantations,meeting musicians and charactersalong the road which have added toand inspired Joe’s own music,before finally - and three pairs of shoeslater – being marched into NewOrleans by The New Wave Brass Band.As his trek across the Namib Desertwas for a landmine charity, his walkacross America was to, and indeed did,achieve raised awareness and funds forNew Orleans musicians displaced byHurricane Katrina.

(www.nomrf.org).On his return from America, Joeaccepted an earlier invitation to joinlocal band, Elbow Jane. Since then,Elbow Jane has gone from strength tostrength, recording the criticallyacclaimed album “England Stone” andplaying the main stages at many Britishfolk festivals. They’ve been describedas “Masterful purveyors of harmonicfolk” NW Enquirer.The band’s latest album “Three SideIsland” was released in March 2009 onthe Fellside label.

Joe’s obvious talents have also beenseized upon by folk/rock legend AshleyHutchings who in December 2007asked him to join his band, “TheRainbow Chasers” alongside RuthAngell and Jo Hamilton. Since Joejoined the Chasers have been playingin arts centres and theatres across theUK and Italy. A newalbum is planned for 2010. (“The bestacoustic group in the country” PhilBeer, Show of Hands.)

Joe has worked with many wellknown artists from the folk/rootsworld including ChrisLeslie and GerryConway (FairportConvention), MartinAllcock (Fairport,Jethrow Tull, BethNielson Chapman) andChris While and JulieMatthews amongothers.

Joe’s new soloAlbum “Ghosts In TheShadows” wasreleased on Fellsideearly in 2010 and hasbeen getting goodradio airplay aroundthe country includingradio 2. It featuressongs inspired by,learnt on or written onhis walk acrossAmerica. Songsranging fromtraditional folk musicto acoustic blues tocountry influenced to

jazz with musicians Miranda Sykes onDouble Bass (Show of Hands) and JoeWright on Fiddle and mandolin.It’s garnered positive reviews: “… Abeautifully crafted album, played toperfection, fused with passion andheart” Maverick Magazine;“ … Heartfelt vocal backed byintricate, intensely accomplished guitarwork” fRoots magazine;“An innovative resonator guitar styleand a real song writing talent” Folk onTap; “A cracking album”Mike Harding, BBC radio 2Joe comes to Croydon on 14th of Mayand as his blurb says; “Book him foryour folk club now, before he ends upon the guest list of every festival nextsummer! “

Joe Topping, 14th May at 8pm,Croydon Folk Club, Ruskin House 23

Coombe Road CR0 1BD.Members £6, Non Members £8, formore info and to book tickets visit

www.croydonfolkclub.org.uk

Joseph Topping, nascentfolk phenomenon, comes to

Croydon. . .

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Last Sunday saw the Glamorgan pub onCherry Orchard Road in East Croydoncontinue its long and admirable tradition

of charity fundraising with another night of topquality music.

This night was in aid of Children withCancer, and sadly, due to other commitments,we couldn’t make it down for the whole night,which was hosted by actor Deka Walmsley(The Pitmen Painters) and featured LaurenAdams, Gary Jordan, Michael Peavoy andmore. What we did make it down for,however, were The Twirlies, whose semi-ish-regular appearances at the Glam are alwayswelcome.

Essentially a covers band, The Twirlies arepossibly one of the best, if not best connected,covers bands around. James, one of the leadsingers, tells me that all of the members hailfrom the world of musicals and musical theatrein London, either as musicians or musicaldirectors - one of their number, for example,was the Musical Director of ‘Billy Elliott’. Wellconnected, see.

Apart from their excellent covers, such asstuff from The Commitments, a stonkingversion of Free’s Alright Now and a host ofother classics, I must say that the warm-upmusic for the band was some of the best I’veheard for any local gig, ever, as you’d expectfrom such a musically-bented line-up, withQuincy Jones and the Meters and the like.

The crowd are clearly Twirlies regulars(Twirlie-ettes?) and may also possibly, wesuspect, be mainly from musical backgroundsas when they were asked to sing along, theydid - all amazingly in tune and in time!

I have no doubt, being the charitable fellowsthat they are, that The Twirlies will be back atThe Glam supporting more good causes soon,and we’d strongly suggest that you take thechance to see them, have a singalong (but onlyif you’re not tone-deaf) and be charitableyourselves into the bargain. Result!

For more information on the Children withCancer Charity please visit

www.childrenwithcancer.org.uk

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It’s not every day someone celebratesa Ruby anniversary, so when Rob, heof Dr Smutglove drummer fame, told

us that the landlady of his local, theJoiners Arms in Woodside Green, wasabout to mark 40 years behind the bar,we thought it time, not least because wehaven’t had a drink up that way in awhile and remembered it as being arather pleasant, leafy place, to board atram and say hello.

As it transpires, Mavis’ actualanniversary is on the 9th May, with aptcelebrations planned, but we hadactually forgotten what a nice pub theJoiners’ is - variously described assomething of a menagerie and ‘acountry pub without having to travel tothe country’, the look of the place showsoff Mavis’ eye for a curio - she readilyadmits to being a hoarder, but has putthis to good use - every wall is coveredwith items of interest, which makes theJoiners’ a magnificent place for a solodrink, you can spend the time youwould otherwise spend engaged inspeaking utter drunken rubbish withperusing the artifacts...

Over the years Mavis has been givenmany fantastic items which find theirplace all around the walls, including,amongst many, many others, a stuffedfox, a suit of armour, horse brasses of alldescriptions, a coat of arms, a stag’shead and stuffed fish (and some verypretty live ones in tanks). Pride of placegoes to the magnificent silver Tiffanycash register on the end of the bar. It’sclear when you walk into a pub whetherits character has been created (see anyO’Neill’s outfit) or evolved (see TheWoodman, Bishops, Little Bay), and thisone has definitely evolved. Brilliant!

But back to the lady of the day, and itturns out Mavis is originally from WestLondon and she told us that beforebecoming the landlady here she workedat the Courage Brewery in CumberlandAvenue. The Joiners’ was her first puband she has “stayed because I liked it somuch”. She lives above the pub and

does everything around the place,including the cleaning “it keeps me fitand I find it very rewarding.” The pubruns a hugely popular karaoke night,and Mavis herself, being keen onCountry and Western, has been knownto belt out a tune or two. As you’dexpect from someone with such a longtenure, Mavis has seen a lot of changesboth in the pub and the Woodside area.Apparently there used to be a smallpublic bar which has been knockedthrough and an extension (completed bya local guitarist) where the Karaokemachine and dining tables are. She toldus that the Woodside area back thenwas much more “a proper village” withbakery, chemist and hardware shop,although the area, and especially thepub, retains a village feel with a distinctidentity unlike so many more hamletsaround the Croydon area, despite theinevitable rise of the takeaway outletalong the high street.

Mavis points out that the last fewyears have not always been easy. Aswith most pubs, the smoking ban (stilldon’t get me started), the recession andthe ever increasing price ofa drink have put thepressure on, but theJoiners’ is a genuine local;the regulars keep it goingand it enjoys a bustlingtrade, mainly thanks to allthe effort that Mavis putsin.

So why stay for fortyyears? “I’ve always liked ithere, it’s a friendly place, anice pub. It always hasbeen”. It seems so, asMavis’ son Simon has beendoing a lot of research intothe history of the place. Hekindly provided with someof the pictures for us -Mavis in her heydey behindthe original bar and stillpulling pints whilepregnant with him. He has

the deeds for the sale of the land from1864 when it became a pub, which willno doubt be framed and found a spaceon the pub wall somewhere. Prior tothat there was a blacksmiths on the siteand the present building was 4 cottagesknocked together. They have a list of thelandlord’s names up to the 30’s which hehopes to complete up to the present day- he even has a photo of one of thoselandlords of the 30s.

It’s a shame we haven’t made it up tothe Joiners more often - it’s a veryfriendly and comfortable place (andapparently a thriving hub for musicians),a real place of character in a world ofchain boozers - in fact, it’s that rarest ofbeasts, a real pub. Oh, and it has a beergarden too. We only popped in for aquick chat and stayed all afternoon,getting quite merry as a result.

Well done Mavis and good luck toyou. We will be back to say hello andjump every time we walk past the barand come face to face with a fox.

Mavis Porter and The Joiners Arms,Woodside Green - Approved!

Forget the Diamond Jubilee, it’s time to meet one Mavis Porter, doyenne of WoodsideGreen, who is about to celebrate her Ruby Anniversary as landlady of The Joiners’ Arms

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Welcome to the not-so-nerdyworld of Stephanie Darkes,your no nonsense music &

Social Media go-to-girl.How have you enjoyed the April

showers? I don’t get it, we have adrought and it’s raining a lot - surelywe can resolve one problem with theother? Anyway, this month I’m goingto be looking at Trending topics onTwitter, The cult of the Belieber,Twitter and TV and the joy ofFiverr.com.

Let’s start with the Hashtag. One ofthe first things I get asked when I’mteaching a new client Twitter is what isit for? According to Twitter Hashtagsor # are “included specifically inTweets to mark them as relating to atopic so that people can follow the

conversation in search” in otherwords, if you want to see who’stalking about Madonna, you wouldput #Madonna into the search optionand all tweets that include her willappear. Hashtags generate TrendingTopics and you can set your view ofTrending Topics by location (countryor city). Trending Topics aredetermined by an algorithm thatidentifies the topics that are popular atthat moment in time. For example,during the riots last year the Londontrends were dominated by riot basedtopics. #Croydon was trending for along time.

The cult of the BelieberIn April I’ve seen the world

#Belieber trending in various tweetsalmost continuously. Knowing in theback of my mind that it had to besomething to do with all-Americanteen Justin Beiber (I was supplied witha picture of the Bieber to put here, butI refuse - Ed) I decided to ask myfollowers ‘what is a Belieber?’ notquite believing that the cult of theBeiber could be so ingrained in

London trends. I got severalresponses, most of which were alongthe lines of 'people with no taste’ butone particular response surprised me.I’m not going to grass her up - butshe’s a very talented and credible rockjourno friend who admitted to being aBelieber! When I asked her whetherthe rock acts she interviewed knewthis, she simply replied “they wouldn'tunderstand". No, they wouldn't! Theyreally wouldn’t!

On 28th April I saw this tweet:@BiebsHeaven: #21 Million Beliebers.So Justin Beiber has 21 Millionfollowers. According to Wikipediathere are over 140 million Twitterusers around the world, which meansthat Justin Beiber has around 15% ofthe world on Twitter following him! I

might add that Lady Gaga actuallybeat him to the 21 million mark backin March (there is a reasonwhy she’s Top of the Twops)but with the Cult of theBeliebers in full swing, I’mnot fancying her chances ofholding on to her title.

Twitter & TVWhen the new series of

Titanic aired (yawn) Twitterwas bubbling over withcommentary on it (doubleyawn). Similarly, every timeThe Voice is on it trends witha constant dialogue ofwhat's happening - it’s thesubtitled version, you don'teven need to watch it. Ioften wonder when all thesepeople are sitting at hometweeting each nano-sectionof a programme, is there noone at home with themthinking ‘my relationship isover’. Don't get me wrong, Iam obviously a greatadvocate of Twitter BUT

there is nothing more annoying thatspending the evening with someonewho is constantly on their phone (justask my husband).

FiverrOne of my favourite discoveries of

April was www.Fiverr.com, it’s alegendary site when you can buy allmanner of exciting things rangingfrom cartoon drawings of yourself topeople singing you happy birthday inthe bath (there are a lot of thingspeople will do for $5 or around£3.30–ish for us). I tried a few folk outin April and I got myself a promovideo for my business, a cartoon meand an advocate in Alaska (see insert).Have a play, it’s very addictive!

Until next time!

If you need help or for moreinformation, visit my blog

www.getyourbusinesstalking.co.ukConnect with me on Twitter

@stephaniedarkes

Twitter tech, tips and transgressions from Stephanie Darkes. . .

I often wonder, when all these people are tweetingeach nano-second of a programme, is there no-one with them thinking ‘this relationship is over...’

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Where’s Iron Sky?! Well sorry folks, due to issues with the release date and distributors, you’ll have to wait. But don’t worry! We will be reviewing it as soon as possibleThe RavenEdgar Allen Poe helps solve murder mysteries? Really? A sort of Murder She Wrote meets Seven meets Sleepy Hollow? This trashy and delightfully silly premise may be

the film’s saving grace. For it is only in being consumed as a bizarre bit of light fluff that this film just about scrapes in as watchable. In the last days of Edgar Allen Poe, a series of gruesome murders are being committed in the style of the writers own fiction. Due to his expert knowledge and personal interests, the police enlist the assistance of Poe in the pursuit of the killer. The character

of Poe, played by John Cusack, is whiney and wrongly cast, as are most of the characters. In terms of the murder mystery, there isn’t one: just a string of deaths thinly linked to a frustratingly pointless ‘Scooby-Doo’ revelation. So why watch this film? Well as stated it is delightfully trashy, and sometimes that’s nice. Also it has some gorgeously grim set pieces which, combined with the films simplicity, make it easy to just sit back, relax and take it in. Maybe not worth seeing in the cinema, but definitely worth a watch on TV on a Sunday afternoon.

The Devil Inside

I have to admit that I enjoyed parts of this film. Exorcism films are very difficult to get right, as are found footage ones. The Devil Inside invests massively into some great scenes, but then

lets itself down by neglecting so many other elements. A woman goes in search of her mother, who has been institutionalised since a murder spree during a failed exorcism. Along with a camera crew and some renegade priests, they attempt to finally rid her mother of the demons that posses her. First off, I hated almost all the characters in this movie, every last one is a static stereotype which made the already pathetic dialogue extremely predictable. Together, these elements shattered the illusion of reality. Luckily the found footage aspect did come to life in the actual exorcism/possession sequences which were intensely creepy in their portrayal of blind struggle in the face of superior forces. Though these scenes ran the gauntlet of exorcism/possession clichés, there was a fair effort to tie them down to a world of science and consequence. If only this film had pursued this line of thought instead of unnecessary melodrama, it could have had the feel of a genuine documentary.

John CarterThis film has been labelled as one of the biggest cinematic flops of all time, so obviously we had to see it! In a nutshell, a US civil war veteran is transported to Mars during a time of war where he must rescue a princess from an arranged marriage whilst also revealing a plot by a sinister group of monks…. Huh?! Based on the classic sci-fi novel A Princess Of Mars, Disney’s advertising campaign tried to appeal both to hardcore fans and mainstream audiences, ultimately isolating both. However most disappointing was John Carter himself - a dull one-dimensional macho void. The other major fault was how curiously bad the special effects were. Films of this nature are sold on their CGI, yet there were times when it was blurry and grainy. At the risk of saying something positive though, this film had a great classical Holly-wood feel to it which fans of Flash Gordon and other sci-fi/fantasy relics should enjoy, and the

subplot of mysterious war-mongering monks (lead by Mark Strong) lends itself to a potentially good sequel. Ultimately, however, the film was way too long for what it was and dragged, making all its negative faults painfully obvious to see.

The Cabin in the WoodsEver notice how so many horror films are similar? Same group of teenagers (usually a jock , nerd, stoner, virgin etc.) go to a cabin in the woods and get killed off by someone/something? Well what if instead of being a safe film formula, there was some mysterious, overarching,

methodological source ultimately responsible? This is question that The Cabin in the Woods asks. We are introduced to our usual group of teenagers staying in the usual spooky cabin. As they begin to fall victim though, our protagonists start to notice glitches in this seemingly straightforward horror scenario. The Cabin in the Woods challenges a whole host of horror standards, turning them completely on their head and offering a new, fresh and funny take on the genre. This is a film packed with sharp dialogue and humour, both light-hearted and dark . Without revealing too much, there are two stories here - that of the teenagers, but also that of the mundane lives of those running the killings. The film’s strength lies in being able to show these two conflicting perspectives simultaneously and displaying how differently their experiences are interpreted, and by doing this criticise the virtues of big business and challenge social apathy.

Reviews From The Outer Rim recently attended ‘An Evening With David Hasslehoff’ at The IndigO2 in aid of The Prince of Wales’ Youth Club. The evening included songs from his solo career, stage shows and a few surprises. For an article on the event, visit www.revewsfromtheouterrim.com.

Wrath of the Titans • Marvel’s Avengers Assemble • Silent House • Piranha 3DD For more film reviews visit www.reviewsfromtheouterrim.com.

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CENTRALCROYDON:• Bar Red Square• Bar Ten• Bishops Wine

Bar• Black Sheep Bar • Brief • Bull’s Head• Dog & Bull• George• Goose on the

Market• Gun Tavern• Green Dragon • Half and Half

Lounge Bar• Milan Bar • Royal Standard • Ship • Spreadeagle• Steelpoint Tattoo• Surrey Cricketers• Tiger Tiger• Timebomb

Clothing• Yates’s Wine

Lodge

EAST CROY:• Builders Arms • Croydon Visitor

Centre• Glamorgan • Oval • Porter & Sorter • Tramlink Info

Centre• Warehouse

Theatre• Windmill

WEST CROY:• Bird in Hand • Sims Tattoos• Fox and Hounds

SOUTH END &SOUTH CROY:• Croham Arms • Crown & Pepper • Crown & Sceptre • Earl of Eldon• Edge • Folly • LA Fitness

(Royal Oak)• La Spezia Deli

(Old Pharmacy

- Swan & Sugarloaf)

• Windsor Castle• Purley Arms • Rail View• Red Deer • Rupali• Ruskin House • Sackville Gallery • Scream Studios• Stag & Hounds• Treehouse• Wheelwrights

Arms • Windsor Castle• Woodman • Zizzi

ADDISCOMBE:• Claret Free Hs• Cricketers

PURLEY:• Brass Monkey• Coffee Bay

(by Purley BR)• Elliott’s• Jolly Farmers• Rectory• Purley Pool• Station Cars

PURLEY WAY:• Gipsy Moth• Premier Travel

Inn Hotel• Green’s Gym

COULSDON:• The Pembroke

OLDCOULSDON:• The Fox• Tudor Rose

SANDERST’D:• Sanderstead BR• Stones Hair

Salon• Wine Cellar

SHIRLEY:• Cricketers• Crown• Sandrock • Shirley Inn • Surprise Inn

FORESTDALE:

• McDermott’s Fish Restaurant

SELHURST:• Two Brewers• Lion Inn

THORNTONHEATH:• The Lord Napier

WOODSIDEGREEN:• Beehive

SOUTHNORWOOD:• Portmanor

KENLEY:• Kenley Arms

WHYTELEAFE:• Whyteleafe

Tavern

Advertising in Deep-London:

Prices from just £10 upwardsdepending on type, size andplacementall prices are per month and VAT exemptdiscounts available for block booking etc

Advert design service available

To advertise please e-mail Angela the Editor at:angela@deep-london.co.uk

Got something going on?We’re not psychic, people - let usknow! What’s on listings are FREE!

E-mail:angela@deep-london.co.uk

What’s on? 21full weekly and daily guide

All our information was correct at the time ofgoing to press, but as the only certainty inlife is change, we suggest you check beforeheading out. The opinions and reviews whichfollow are those of the Editor and staff - ifyou have an issue to raise about them, pleasecontact us, rather than the venue.

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Last date forinclusion in June issue -

25 MAY 2012

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Every Day:• Theatre: Call Me Mr Robeson4th May until 20th May. A roller coaster journey through Robeson'sremarkable and eventful life, the playhighlights how his radical activism causedhim to be disowned and disremembered,even by the leaders and descendants ofthe civil rights movement. It features someof his famous songs and speeches,including a dramatic rendition of Ol' ManRiver."FIRST RATE" Michael Billington TheGuardian"A TRIUMPH" BroadwayWorld.com"INSPIRING" British Theatre Guide,October 2011Various dates and times: For more infoplease visit www.warehousetheatre.co.ukor call the box office on 020 8680 4060The Warehouse Theatre, Dingwall Road,Croydon CR0 2NF.• Theatre: Oliver Reed25th May until 3rd June. In this blistering show, join legendaryhellraiser Oliver Reed as he knocks back afew drinks and shares his incredible lifestory. From the boyhood excitement oflearning he was a descendant of Peter theGreat, through the success of Oliver!,boozy adventures with Keith Moonand disastrous chat show appearances -this was a life well lived. But though Olliemay appear an unstoppable force ofnature, this is Malta in 1999, and time isfast running out for the 'Wild Thing'.Rob Crouch brings Reed back to vivid lifein this swaggering, brilliant evening ofentertainment.Various dates and times: For more infoplease visit www.warehousetheatre.co.ukor call the box office on 020 8680 4060The Warehouse Theatre, Dingwall Road,Croydon CR0 2NF.• Museum: Dickens & London 9 Dec 2011 - 10 June 2012. Celebrate the 200th anniversary of thebirth of Charles Dickens in the first majorUK exhibition for over 40 years.Recreating the atmosphere of VictorianLondon through sound and projections,you'll be taken on a haunting journey todiscover the city that inspired his writings.Paintings, photographs, costume andobjects will illustrate themes that Dickenswove into his works, while rarely seenmanuscripts including Bleak House andDavid Copperfield – written in the author’sown hand – will offer clues to his creativegenius. During your visit you'll discoverhow Dickens' childhood experiences ofLondon, working in a blacking factorywhilehis father was locked away in adebtor's prison, were introduced into the

stories he wrote. The great social questionsof the 19th century, including wealth andpoverty, prostitution, childhood mortalityand philanthropy, will also be examined, allof which set the scene for Dickens'greatest works.Highlights of the exhibition will include aninnovative audio-visual experience bringingto life the desk and chair where Dickensworked on his novels, and a speciallycommissioned film by one of the UK’sleading documentary filmmakers, WilliamRaban, which will explore the similaritiesbetween London after dark today and thenight time city described by Dickens over150 years ago.Adult £8 (£7 advance booking)Child/concession £6 (£5 advance booking)Museum of London, 150 London WallLondon EC2Y 5HN, tel: 020 7001 9844email: info@museumoflondon.org.ukwww.museumoflondon.org.uk/dickens• Market: Surrey Street(Not Sunday) London’s oldest continuouslyrunning market since 1276, with fruit andveg, bits and pieces, meat and fish, hotfood, all sorts. Use it or lose it, people. Open Mon-Sat from ridiculously early... Surrey Street, Croydonwww.surreystreetmarket.com• Museum: Museum Of CroydonMonday - Saturday, 11am - 5pm(Closed Sundays and Bank Holidays)Permanent Galleries:Croydon History - Follow the story ofCroydon from 1800 to now.The Riesco Collection of Chinese Ceramicsis on permanent display in the RiescoGallery at Croydon Clocktower.The Croydon Art Collection contains over2000 paintings, prints and drawings.Depictions of local scenes and landmarksare stored alongside works by HenryMoore, Bridget Riley and Bengali poetRabindranath Tagore. Museum OfCroydon, Clocktower, Katharine Street• Wildlife: Beaver Waterworld We at deep are HUGE fans of BeaverWaterworld, and not just because of theamusing name. They’ve got birds, beavers,lizards, snakes, crocodiles, tons of otheranimals. A registered charity, BWW is alsoa rehoming centre. “Our aim at BeaverWater World Reptile Zoo is to be a refuge- a Noah's Ark for rare and rescuedreptiles”. Open EVERY Day except XmasDay - 10am to 5pm. Adults - £4.00,Children - £3.00. Beaver Water World,Waylands Farm, Approach Road, Tatsfield,Nr. Westerham. Kent. TN16 2JT, Tel:01959 577747.www.beaverwaterworld.com• Farm: Fanny’s FarmTo complement Beaver Waterworld...

Farmshop, Tearooms and tea gardens,Childrens play area, Florists, Chickens, pigsand sheep, The famous treehouse,Landscape garden/garden centre, chickens,2 new vietnamese pot bellied pigs - Burtand Ernie - and sheep. Fanny's Farm Shop,is the perfect place to enjoy a cream tea,fresh coffee or a ploughman's lunchfeaturing local cheeses. Fanny's features awide range of local produce to buy,including jam and marmalade, honey, floralarrangements, pickle, mustards, freshvegetables, bacon and eggs, cakes andhandmade gifts. Open - 9.00am to6.00pm every day including bank holidays,although we do stop serving teas at5.00pm. Fannys Farm Shop, MarkEdgeLane, Merstham, Surrey RH1 3AWemail: fanny@fannysfarmshop.co.ukTel: 01737 554444 http://fannysfarmshop.co.uk

1st Monday of themonth:• Music: Folk/Blues Singers &Musicians NightNo need to book just come along to singand play! £3. Croydon Folk and Blues Club, RuskinHouse, 23 Coombe Road, Croydon, CR01BD. www.croydonfolkclub.org.uk020 8660 5919 or 0770 3210 795

1st Wednesday:• Quiz: Wendy’s Wednesday Quiz Fun and fab pub quiz. 8pm. £1 per person.Loads of prizes including bonus prizes forthe excellent ‘music bingo’ round.The Odd Shoe, 24 Park Street, Croydon• Music: Live JazzLive jazz every first Wednesday of themonth. 8pm-10.45pm (bar opens at 7pm).Generally £9. See daily what’s on or visitthe website for who’s playing.Sylvie’s Place, Warlingham Jazz Club,Croydon PO Athletic and Social Club,Trenham Drive, Warlingham,CR6 9RU. 01883 622269.www.sylviesplace.co.uk

1st Thursday:• Live Music: The New Delta BigBandFrom Ellington to Herman, big band jazz atits best! 8.15-11pm. FREE! The LordNapier, 111 Beaulah Road, ThorntonHeath, CR7. 020 8653 2286.• Gay: Quiz Monthly quiz night. The Bird In Hand, 291Sydenham Road, Croydon, CR0 2EL. 0208683 3104 www.birdinhand.uk.com

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• Music: Rob’s Musical ZooUnplugged music. 8.30pm.The Dog and Bull, Surrey Street, Croydon• Quiz: The Stag and HoundsHosted by wonderful Wendy - £1pp. 9pm.The Stag and Hounds, 26 Selsdon RoadSouth Croydon CR2 6PB020 8686 0007

1st Friday:• Club: Groove OnFunk club. Upstairs at The Treehouse, 78 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1DP, 020 8688 9837. • Poetry: Poets Anonymous Friday Poetry at the Fairfield Hotel Bar, 1Lansdowne Road, Croydon, Surrey CR92BN. Floor spots. From 8pm. £2 waged,£1 unwaged. Contact Peter for furtherdetails; peter@poetsanon.org.uk, 020 86459956.• Music: Showtime - The Home OfLive Hip-Hop Live hip hop from regular acts and specialguests every first Friday of the month.From 7pm. See article, April issue of Deep-London. Check out the facebook page‘Showtime - Home of Live Hip Hop’ forwho’s playing when.The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, EastCroydon, CR0 6BR.

1st Saturday:• Club: Boogie Nights 8pm - MidnightBar open for food and drink from 6.30pm£5 Disco only. £10 Disco and CurryCombo(Curry £7.50 on own)Boogie Nights is the newest and funkiestnight in Caterham! DJ John Lazenby playsthe tunes you know and love and isguaranteed to get you on the dance floor.Housed in our new look Studio, youll betransported to the golden era of Disco.Dress to impress and be prepared to danceall night long! Free ticket for the bestdressed! Booking line: 01883 330380. More infoemail info@the-arc-caterham.co.uk or visit www.the-arc-caterham.co.ukThe Arc, 39 Weston Drive, Caterham,Surrey, CR3 5XY

1st Sunday:• Green: Heathfield Ecology CentreNormally open from around 10 o'clockuntil about 5 o'clock (or dusk, whichever issooner) on the 1st and 3rd Sunday of eachmonth except for 1st January or whenthere is another event. Established in 1997and operates out of the Old Orchard in

the grounds of Heathfield House. Thecentre raises awareness of Croydon's greenheritage and helps to preseve theborough's biodiversity. For full details ofactivities and membership visitwww.heathfield-ecology.org.ukThe Old Orchard, Heathfield, CoombeLane, Croydon CR0 5RH• Music: ‘The Ukelele & OtherMachines’ Ukelele JamA relaxed, informal ukulele play-alongsession where you are the band! Everyonejoins in, playing songs from our ownsongbook, from 60s classics to Bon Jovi,Radiohead, The Smiths and everything inbetween. Bring your own ukulele if youhave one but we do have a couple ofspares if you want to try it out. Absolutelyall abilities welcome, from completenovices to good players. Everyone can playsomething, we guarantee it!See “the ukulele & Other Machines” sitewww.ukulele.website.orange.co.uk formore details and link to all our songs. Green Dragon, 58-60 High St, CroydonCR0 1NA. 1st and 3rd Sunday of month, 7:30pm to 10-00pm, upstairs bar

2nd Monday:• Group: Croydon WritersWriting group. 7.45pm. New Memberswelcome.. Annual membership - £16.00Meetings - £2 per meeting for members,£4 per meeting for non members. Moreinfo from www.croydonwriters.org.ukThe Library, Croydon Cloctower, KatharineStreet, Croydon

2nd Tuesday:• Comedy: Comedy Nightwith host Gareth and guest comedians.From 8.30pm. The Royal Standard, 1 Sheldon Street,Croydon, CR0 1SS, 020 8688 9749For more events, find us on facebook!• Music: Folk Music Live folk band - occasionally this eventdoesn’t occur so please check with the pubthat it’s on before heading out, or just godown there anyway, it’s a nice proper pub.The Two Brewers, 221 Gloucester Road,Croydon CR0 2DW, 020 8684 3544• Event: Antiques Fair Sunbury antiques is the largest and longestrunning bi-weekly market in the countryOpening hours - 9.00-14.00 (Trade from6.30). Free entry for punters!Organiser:Sunbury Antiques, 01932 230946 orwww.kemptonantiques.com.edwardcruttenden@kemptonantiques.com For more details see www.kempton.co.uk

or call 01932 782292. Kempton ParkRacecourse, Staines Road East, Sunbury onThames, Middlesex, TW16 5AQDirect Train from Clapham Junction toKempton Park - 200 yards from course

2nd Wednesday:• Comedy: - NEW! 10 acts all hosted by Sarah Iles - Mix ofnew and established acts performing openmic comedy. 8 - 10:30pm. FREE!Scream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN, tel 020 8667 0155. emaillounge@screamstudios.co.uk

2nd Thursday:• Live Music: The BrianHetherington Jazz BandListen or jive to the authentic rythyms ofNew Orleans! 8.15-11pm. FREE!The Lord Napier, 111 Beaulah Road,Thornton Heath, CR7. 020 8653 2286.

2nd Saturday:• Poetry: Poets Anonymous Saturday Poetry in the Primary Room,United Reformed Church, AddiscombeGrove, Croydon, Surrey, CR0 5LP. 2.30-4.00pm. £2.00. Bring your poetry to readand share. Contact Peter for furtherdetails; peter@poetsanon.org.uk, 020 86459956• Music: DJ Rob DeltaPlaying Funk, blues, soul and psychedelia.FREE entry! The Green Dragon, 58-60High St, Croydon CR0 1NA• Club: Shut The Funk UpEvery second Saturday of the month, BarTxt brings you back in time to strut yourfunky stuff! DJ Evs will be taking youthrough the night with the classics ofyesteryear from artists such as Cameo,Chaka Khan and Earth, Wind and Fire. So Isay people, what you gonna do? Get yourback up off the wall and down to Bar Txt!Bar Txt, 73 South End, Croydon, CR0 1BF

3rd Monday:• Music: Folk/Blues Singers &Musicians NightNo need to book just come along to singand play! £3. Croydon Folk and BluesClub, Ruskin House, 23 Coombe Road,Croydon, CR0 1BD.www.croydonfolkclub.org.uk020 8660 5919 or 0770 3210 795

3rd Tuesday:• History: East Surrey Family

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History SocietyMeetings on 3rd Tuesday of the month inthe small hall of East Croydon UnitedReformed Church. Doors Open at 7.30 pmand the meeting starts at 8.00pm. Seedaily what’s on for details of this month’stalk / event. East Croydon UnitedReformed Church, Addiscombe Grove,Croydon CR0 5LP

3rd Thursday:• Music: The New Delta Big BandFrom Ellington to Herman, big band jazz atits best! 8.15-11pm. FREE!The Lord Napier, 111 Beaulah Road,Thornton Heath, CR7. 020 8653 2286.• Gay: QuizThe Bird In Hand, 291 Sydenham Road,Croydon, CR0 2EL, 020 8683, 3104www.birdinhand.co.uk.

3rd Friday:• Music: DJ Rob DeltaPLAYING A CORNUCOPIA OF SOUNDSINCLUDING 50 2S 60 2S 70 2S , BLUES ,SOUL , FUNK , ROCK , JAZZ ,PSYCHEDELIA . EVERY 3RD FRIDAY ATTHEE OVAL TAVERN. FREE!The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road,Croydon, Surrey, CR0 6BR Tel: 020 86866023, http://ovaltavern.co.uk

3rd Saturday:• Music: DJ Rob DeltaPlaying Funk, blues, soul and psychedelia.FREE entry!The Green Dragon, 58-60 High St,Croydon CR0 1NA

3rd Sunday:• Group: Heathfield Ecology CentreNormally open from around 10 o'clockuntil about 5 o'clock (or dusk, whichever issooner) on the 1st and 3rd Sunday of eachmonth except for 1st January or whenthere is another event. Established in 1997and operates out of the Old Orchard inthe grounds of Heathfield House. Thecentre raises awareness of Croydon's greenheritage and helps to preseve theborough's biodiversity. For full details ofactivities and membership visitwww.heathfield-ecology.org.ukThe Old Orchard, Heathfield, CoombeLane, Croydon CR0 5RH• Music: ‘The Ukelele & OtherMachines’ Ukelele JamA relaxed, informal ukulele play-alongsession where you are the band! Everyonejoins in, playing songs from our own

songbook, from 60s classics to Bon Jovi,Radiohead, The Smiths and everything inbetween. Bring your own ukulele if youhave one but we do have a couple ofspares if you want to try it out. Absolutelyall abilities welcome, from completenovices to good players. Everyone can playsomething, we guarantee it!See “the ukulele & Other Machines”websitehttp://ukulele.website.orange.co.uk formore details and link to all our songs. Green Dragon58-60 High St, Croydon CR0 1NA1st and 3rd Sunday of month, 7:30pm to 10-00pm, upstairs bar.

4th Tuesday:• Live Music: Open MicSimon Hughes's blues and acoustic OpenMike nights. We let you entertain us! From8.30pm. FREE!The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, EastCroydon, CR0 6BRwww.ovaltavern.co.uk• Event: Antiques Fair Sunbury antiques is the largest and longestrunning bi-weekly market in the countryOpening hours - 9.00-14.00 (Trade from6.30). Free entry for punters!Organiser:Sunbury Antiques, 01932 230946 orwww.kemptonantiques.com.edwardcruttenden@kemptonantiques.com For more details see www.kempton.co.ukor call 01932 782292. Kempton ParkRacecourse, Staines Road East, Sunbury onThames, Middlesex, TW16 5AQDirect Train from Clapham Junction toKempton Park - 200 yards from course

4th Thursday:• Live Music: The BrianHetherington Jazz BandListen or jive to the authentic rythyms ofNew Orleans! 8.15-11pm. FREE!The Lord Napier, 111 Beaulah Road,Thornton Heath, CR7. 020 8653 2286.

4th Saturday:• Music: DJ BennyManyHatsPlaying the way only Benny can.The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, EastCroydon, CR0 6BRwww.ovaltavern.co.uk

Last Monday:• Science: Cafe ScientifiqueFree talks and discussions with a scientiston a subject of topical interest on the last

Monday of each month from 18:30 to20:00 in the Braithwaite Hall (CroydonClocktower, Katharine Street, Croydon) -no ticket necessary.

Last Tuesday:• Music: Live JazzJazz on the Last Tuesday of Every Monthat 8.30 PM. See www.jazznet.co.uk forwho’s on.The Golden Lion, 116 Sydenham RoadLondon SE26 5JX, Tel: 020 8778 6859Car Parking at rear of Pubwww.jazznet.co.uk

Last Thursday:• Quiz: The Bedford Tavern From 7pm. £2 per person - all proceeds tolocal charities. Great prizes inc. drinkvouchers for winners.The Bedford Tavern, 16 Sydenham Road,Croydon CR0 2EF. 020 8688 2584

Last Friday:• Club: Histree HouseLast Friday of the month. Old-skool house.Open til 3am. Free entry for Treehousediners, otherwise £5.Upstairs at The Treehouse, 78 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1DP, 020 8688 9837www.treehousepeople.com• Music: Party Night Last Friday of the month.R’n’B, Soul, Funk,Reggae, Hip Hop past and present. FREE!The Windmill, 224 St James’ Road,Croydon CR0 2BW,020 8684 2272www.thewindmillcroydon.com

.................................

Every Monday:• Quiz: Green DragonWendy’s marvellous pub quiz.8pm every Monday. Jackpot round!£1.50 in, winning team gets the cash.Green Dragon, High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA• Music: Community Choir 6pm, upstairs. The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpub• Games: Poker NightPoker at the Jolly Farmers.The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, PurleySurrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk• Games: Poker and Darts From 8.30pm.

What’s On - Regular Weekly Events:

may2012 11/5/12 8:31 pm Page 25

The Two Brewers, 221 Gloucester Road,Croydon CR0 2DW, 020 8684 3544• Club: Soap Company DJs Half Price Mondays - 50% off all drinks(excluding champagne) from 10pm tilmidnight. Free entry before 11pm. Withexotic sounds, altered grooves and alienbeats from The Soap Co DJs..Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.comwww.myspace.com/blacksheepbar

• Group: Croydon Natural Historyand Scientific Society meets on most Monday evenings from19:45 at the Small Hall of the UnitedReform Church in Addiscombe Grove, EastCroydon. For more information about thesociety go towww.greig51.freeserve.co.uk/cnhss/index.htm#about• Quiz: Rough Trade Shop Pop Quiz 8pm-10pm £1 per team member, up to 6in a team. Picture rounds, name that tunerounds, anagrams, bad puns (good puns?)and brain teasing musical questions fromPaul Guided Missile. Prizes include wine,Rough Trade Shop Record Tokens andCheezy Wotsits for best team name!The Lexington, 96-98 Pentonville RoadLondon, N1 9JB. Tel: 020 7837 5371www.thelexington.co.uk• Games: Magic the Gathering with M&M Games.The Odd Shoe, 24 Park Street, Croydon• Music: Slow Jams, Neo Soul,Smooth Jazz NEW Jazz and Soul Bar - strictly over 25s.The Soulful Cellar, 90B High Street,Croydon CR0 1ND, 0208 688 0009(nest to Tacolisa, opposite Il Ponte)Open Mon - Sun: 12:00 - 04:00Facebook page: The Soulful Cellar• Event: Wii Bowling Night Come along with a team of up to 4 peopleand join in our Bowling Tournament. Bigcash prize. Fantastic drinks offers..The Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1QD. Tel: 020 8688 2810.Email: info@theshipcroydon.comwww.theshipcroydon.com

Every Tuesday:• Music: Jazz Jam SessionEvery Tuesday Night at The Lord NapierJazz Pub. All welcome.The Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road, Thornton Heath. 020 8653 2286• Sport: Roller Derby Monks Hill Sports Centre 9-10pmAlso croydon roller derby are taking onnew skaters so anyone who's Interestedplease contact us at fenrisflyers@gmail.com

or deathpixie666@hotmail.com • Quiz: The Pembroke8pm. 50p per person per round. Plus 2 for1 on pizzas.The Pembroke, 12-16 Chipstead ValleyRoad, Coulsdon, CR5 2RA020 8763 0800• Quiz: The Builders ArmsFun general knowledge quiz.The Builders Arms, 65 Leslie Park Road,Croydon, CR0 6TP, 020 8654 1803

• Club: Cheap Sheep Tuesdays DJ Analog playing all your indie, rock,metal, alternative, techno, electro, drum &bass and dubstep classics!Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com• Music: Freedom of Expressionpresents the best in acoustic music,comedy, poetry and magic - see dailywhat’s on for who’s playing when. From 8pm. FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpub• Karaoke: The Odd Shoe Give it some welly. Every Tuesday.The Odd Shoe, 24 Park Street, Croydon• Music: Open Mic from 7.30. FREE!The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road,Croydon, Surrey, CR0 6BR 020 8686 6023, http://ovaltavern.co.uk• Fitness: Yoga ClassesEvery Tuesday from 7.30pm-9pm. £5 aclass for 6 sessions. Beginners welcome. 140 Brighton Road, Purley.0208 763 2629• Dance: Strictly Fun DancingBallroom Dancing every Tuesday.Beginners - 7pm. £6Improvers - 7.45pm. £6Social Dance - 8.30pm. £7Buy two sessions for £11, 3 for £16.Arnham Gallery, Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG.Box Office: 020 8688 9291www.fairfield.co.uk• Community: Women-OnlySwimming SessionsSouth Norwood pool: Tuesdays 8-10pm.The cost for a non-member adult swim is£3.30 per hour. For further information onmembership, activities, prices andtimetables go to www.fusion-lifestyle.com/contracts/Croydon_Council• Music: Motown Hits NEW Jazz and Soul Bar - strictly over 25s.The Soulful Cellar, 90B High Street,Croydon CR0 1ND, 0208 688 0009Open Mon - Sun: 12:00 - 04:00Facebook page: The Soulful Cellar• Club: Croydon Outdoor Pursuits &Social Events Club (COPSE)

Meets on Tuesdays from 8.15pm at thehall of South Croydon United Church,Heathfield Road by jct with AberdeenRoad for a wide range of talks, quizzes,interactive socials and for planning walksand cycles at the weekend. Club membersalso adjourn to the Skylark pub, South Endafter 10.30pm. All welcome. Moreinformation at www.copsecroydon.co.uk• Event: Cuban Havana Night Great Cuban, Spanish and Latin music,jugs of sangria, flavoured tequila andcocktails.The Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1QD. Tel: 020 8688 2810.Email: info@theshipcroydon.comwww.theshipcroydon.com• Quiz: The Dog and Bull - NEW!Fun general knowledge quiz. 7.30 to 8pmstart. The Dog and Bull, 24 Surrey Street,Croydon, CR0 1RG. Tel 020 8667 9718e: dogandbull@youngs.co.uk

Every Wednesday:• Museum: East Surrey MuseumOpen 10am-5pm Wednesdays, Thursdaysand SaturdaysPermanent Galleries: Local History -The development of our area from earliesttimes. It contains sections on Geology andfossils, Stone Ages, Bronze and Iron Ages,the Romans in East Surrey, an Anglo-Saxoncorner, medieval times and modern history.Also stages various transient exhibitions.Admission is free but donations arewelcomed.East Surrey Museum, 1 Stafford RoadCaterham, CR3 6JG. 01883 340 275www.eastsurreymuseum.org• Quiz: Mike K’s GeneralKnowledge QuizFrom 9.00pm Mike K’s general knowledgequiz, non-members welcome!Caterham Club, 10A, Croydon Road,Caterham CR36QB• Quiz: Foxley HatchEvery Wednesday from 8pm. £1 entry perperson - winner takes all. Maximum 4 on ateam. The Foxley Hatch, Purley• Event: Talent NightTalent Night Open Mic. Every Wednesday.£200 prize! The Whyteleafe Tavern, 208 GodstoneRoad, Whyteleafe, CR3 0EEwww.whyteleafetavern.com• Dance: DancerciseKeep fit and meet new people at this funand friendly beginners dance class. Comeand join the fun every Wednesday.7.30pm. £3.50.Central Court, Croydon Clocktower,Katharine Street, Croydon

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www.croydonclocktower.org.uk• Music: Midweek Music ClubVarious acts. If we know who’s playingyou’ll find the info in the daily what’s on...The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, PurleySurrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk• Dance: Swing Patrol swing dance classes, 7pm, £5.The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpub• Club: Cake WednesdayDJ Thom Dorke playing the best in Indie,Electro and Cheese. £1 PINTS OFCARLSBERG AND OLDE ENGLISH 8PM-11PM. £1 before 10pm £2 afterJoin our Cake Club on Facebook forguaranteed FREE entry all nighthttp://www.facebook.com/groups/224336347623164/Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.comwww.myspace.com/blacksheepbar• Games: Poker and Darts From 8.30pm.The Two Brewers, 221 Gloucester Road,Croydon CR0 2DW, 020 8684 3544• Social: Croydon D&S Social ClubARE YOU DIVORCED - SEPARATED - orWIDOWED ? Stuck indoors with nowhereto go? THEN THIS IS THE CLUB FORYOU!!! Why not come along and give it atry Plenty of Car parking spaces DISCO,DANCING and VARIOUS EVENTSduring the year - Car rally, DartsTournament, Saturday Dances, Days out,Weekends away, Outings to Warners,Yarmouth, Isle of Wight, etc. etcWhatever your age, we all get lonelyWhy not meet new people, make newfriends and enjoy yourselves. Bring yourown alcohol. No admittance after 10.00pmSmart Jeans - NO TRAINERSMembership £10 per yearWednesday Admission £3.00Every Wednesday evening. 8-11pm. St Mary's Church hall, Wellesley RoadCroydon opposite Station RoadNear West Croydon Bus/Tram/TrainStation. www.croydon-ds.co.uk• Gay: Darts & Free PoolFrom 7pm. All welcome.The Bird In Hand, 291 Sydenham Road,Croydon, CR0 2EL. 020 8683 3104www.birdinhand.uk.com• Arts: Croydon Camera ClubCroydon Camera Club meets weekly onWednesday evenings (except in August)Start Time: 7.45pm for 8pm.Finish Time: Around 10:00pm.Tea and coffee are served during theinterval. Checkwww.croydoncameraclub.org.uk to see

what we are doing. If you are interested inphotography, novice or expert, you arealways welcome. . Shirley Methodist Church Hall, EldonAvenue, Shirley, Croydon, CR0 8SDThere is ample parking if you are driving. The Hall is is approximately 1.5 milesfrom East Croydon Station as you travelalong the A232 heading towards Shirley.Alternatively buses 119, 194, 466, 198,and 130 stop close by. • Music: Speak-Us-Corner Live -NEW!House band every Wednseday from 8pm-3am.The Soulful Cellar, 90B High Street,Croydon CR0 1ND, 0208 688 0009(nest to Tacolisa, opposite Il Ponte)Open Mon - Sun: 12:00 - 04:00Facebook page: The Soulful Cellar• Event: Rock ‘n’ Roll Cocktails -NEW!50’s and 60’s music, Rock ‘n’ Roll andRockabilly. Cocktail menu is 2 for 1. Dealson shots and bombs. The Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1QD. Tel: 020 8688 2810.Email: info@theshipcroydon.comwww.theshipcroydon.com• Music: 90s night! From grunge to girl-power, britpop to nu-metal, cheesy pop to R&B, join us for anall-90s music marathon every Wednesdayat Scream!! 2 for 1 cocktails plus deals onwine & shots. FREE ENTRY, 18+Bar open from 6pmScream Lounge Music Venue20 Southend, Croydon, CR0 1DN020 8667 0155 (Office)07789 134405 (Mobile)lounge@screamstudios.co.ukwww.screamlounge.com

Every Thursday:• Museum: East Surrey MuseumOpen 10am-5pm Wednesdays, Thursdaysand Saturdays. See every Wednesday.East Surrey Museum, 1 Stafford RoadCaterham, CR3 6JG. 01883 340 275www.eastsurreymuseum.org• Tattoos: Walk-In DayNo need to book in advance on aThursday only at Sims, get there early!11am-6pm. Sims Tattoos, 69 WindmillRoad, Croydon, CR0 2XR, 020 8684 6967• Quiz: Two BrewersFun charity quiz night from 9.30pm. Two Brewers, 221 Gloucester Road,Croydon, 020 8684 3544• Quiz: Purley ArmsEvery Thursday. Purley Arms, 345 Brighton Road, SouthCroydon, 020 8686 3792

• Quiz: JF Big Quiz£1 per player, win prizes, league points,and maybe cash in our Open The Boxgame! New teams always welcome.The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, PurleySurrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk• Quiz: Crown and SceptreFrom 9pm. Crown and Sceptre, 32 Junction Road,South Croydon, 020 8688 8037• Music: Unplugged Live local acoustic acts, every Thursday.The Odd Shoe, 24 Park Street, Croydon• Club: [SIC]Rock . Metal . Punk . AlternativeEvery Thursday with DJ Saxby8pm – 4amCheap Sheep 8-10pm / £1.50 Jager allnight / £2 double up on any spirit all nightwww.facebook.com/RockCroydon@RockCroydon.Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.comwww.myspace.com/blacksheepbar• Music: Live JazzCheck monthly regular events for who’splaying when. 8.15pm to 11pm. FREE!The Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road,Thornton Heath CR7. 020 8653 2286• Dance: Clog DancingFree taster sessions for newcomers to tryout some lively N.W. English clog teamdances - wear trainers or similar footwear.Musicians with portable acousticinstruments always welcome too. PLEASECALL BEFORE HEADING OUT, as someThursdays this night is not on. 8.30 pm.FREE! Call 020 8654 5211/020 8657 4056(eves.) for detailsUnited Reformed Church Hall, cornerEnmore/Cobden Road, S. Norwood• Dance: Morris DancingNorth Wood Morris Men are teachingMen's Morris to complete beginners onThursday evenings at the Scout Hut inPurley Park Road at 8.15 pm andnewcomers are welcome(first call 020 8668 1830) seewww.northwoodmorris.org.uk• Dance: The South East LondonLindy Hop Club Come and learn to dance Lindy Hop(Jitterbug) like they did in the 1940's. Nopartner required and Caron and Stevespecialise in helping those with two leftfeet get together with those with tworight. Doors open 7.30pmBeginners Class 7.45pmIntermediate Class 8.30pmFreestyle (practice) 9.15pmThe Royston Club, 85 Royston RoadPenge, London, SE20 7QWwww.52ndstreetjump.co.uk

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• Gay: Quiz The Bird In Hand, 291 Sydenham Road,Croydon, CR0 2EL. 020 8683 3104www.birdinhand.uk.com• Burlesque / Cabaret: Tassel Club Our Thursday Show - £28 summer supper& show. £15 show only - fully seated,candle lit cabaret. Doors from 7.30pm.Contact info@thetasselclub.com or call07981 909 177 for direct bookings for anyThursday night show.The Bath House, 8 BishopsgateChurchyard, City of London, EC2M 3TJ• Music: Lunchtime JazzJazz Every Thursday Lunchtime.Starts 12.15 - 2.00 pm Admission FREE!The Clocktower Cafe, Katherine Street,Croydon, Surrey CR9 1ET• Music: Lover’s Rock & ReggaeOldies NEW Jazz and Soul Bar - strictly over 25s.The Soulful Cellar, 90B High Street,Croydon CR0 1ND, 0208 688 0009(next to Tacolisa, opposite Il Ponte)Open Mon - Sun: 12:00 - 04:00Facebook page: The Soulful Cellar• Music: DJ CherrybombStart the weekend early with DJCherrybomb. Playing the very best in rock,metal, indie and more. The Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1QD. Tel: 020 8688 2810.Email: info@theshipcroydon.comwww.theshipcroydon.com• Karaoke: Lansdowne Lounge From 7pm. Lansdowne Lounge, 1Lansdowne Road, Croydon, CR9 2BN• Film: Film Nights at ScreamLounge Classic music cinema on the bar big screenplus cheap drink deals all night.FREE ENTRY, 18+. Film starts 7pmsee www.screamlounge.com for what's on.Scream Lounge Music Venue20 Southend, Croydon, CR0 1DN020 8667 0155 (Office)07789 134405 (Mobile)lounge@screamstudios.co.ukwww.screamlounge.com

Every Friday:• Music: Live MusicAlternating live bands and karaoke everyFriday NightThe Bedford Tavern, 16 Sydenham Road,Croydon, CR0 2EF, 020 8688 2584 • Karaoke: Wheelwright’s ArmsFrom 8.30pm every Friday night.Wheelwright’s Arms,126 Southbridge Road,Croydon, CR0 1AF• Karaoke: Two Brewers Every Friday night.

Two Brewers, 221 Gloucester Road,Croydon, 020 8684 3544• Music: Oval DJsThe regular Oval faves, plus guests,keeping Fridays funky.The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, Croydon, CR0 6BR020 8686 6023, www.ovaltavern.co.uk• Music: Live MusicEvery Friday night from 8pm. Plus 2 for 1on Corona and Jacques.The Pembroke, 12-16 Chipstead ValleyRoad, Coulsdon, CR5 2RA020 8763 0800• Event: Wii NightEvery Friday evening.The View, 188 selsdon Road, SouthCroydon, CR2 6PL, 020 8688 2315.• Club: Crash & Carry Start your weekend with a bang!With DJ MagooFREE entry before 10pmCheap Sheep now 8-11pm.Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.comwww.myspace.com/blacksheepbar• Photography: Camera ClubCamera Club meeting in West Croydonevery Friday night welcomes visitors andnew members. Full programme of eventsincluding print/slide talks, portraitevenings, competitions, etc.Ample parking.Contact Colin on 020 8665 1678. Visitwww.thorntonheathcameraclub.co.uk• Karaoke: Karaoke Madness FROM 9pm - MIDNIGHT) *FREE ADM B410pm* The Norbury & Edge 1300 LondonRoad Norbury Croydon SW16 4DG• Club: The EdgeTHE EDGE NIGHT CLUB OPEN EVERY FRI& SAT. CLUB CLASSICS & CHARTANTHEMS tll 3am*FREE PUB 2 CLUB ADM B4 10pm*The Norbury & Edge 1300 London RoadNorbury Croydon SW16 4DG• Music: DJsA range of DJs playing eclectic tunes andrequests. Every Friday and Saturday.The Odd Shoe, 24 Park Street, Croydon• Music: 70s / 80s Soul Classics andParty Anthems NEW Jazz and Soul Bar - strictly over 25s.The Soulful Cellar, 90B High Street,Croydon CR0 1ND, 0208 688 0009(next to Tacolisa, opposite Il Ponte)Open Mon - Sun: 12:00 - 04:00Facebook page: The Soulful Cellar• Music: DJ Linton Pop to party anthems, Cheesy tunes &Electro with Linton. 5pm – 4am. Freebefore 10 £4 after. 18+ venue, Pleaseremember to bring your ID to sign up toour membership system, we accept driving

licenses or passports or pass logo approvedcards. Dress code - Smart casual wearmust be worn. We don’t allow: Dirty workwear, baseball caps, Stone Island orhoodies(Except on sundays when there will be a30 plus policy)Bad Apple Croydon, 3 - 7 Park Street, Croydon, CR0 1YDhttp://badapple.cohttp://the-soapco.blogspot.com• Karaoke: The Fox & Hounds -Every Friday from 8pm.The Fox and Hounds, 1 London Road,West Croydon, CR0 2RE• Music: DJ Seanpresents the very best in rock, metal andalternative music. Bar open til 2am. The Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1QD. Tel: 020 8688 2810.Email: info@theshipcroydon.comwww.theshipcroydon.com

Every Saturday:• Museum: East Surrey MuseumOpen 10am-5pm Wednesdays, Thursdaysand SaturdaysSee every Wednesday.East Surrey Museum, 1 Stafford RoadCaterham, CR3 6JG. 01883 340 275www.eastsurreymuseum.org• Music: VariousLive music every Saturday Night.The Surrey Cricketers, corner of LowerCoombe Street and West Street, Croydon.• Market: Garden Market The Alma Garden Market hopes to createa vibrant bustling market place in the largeprivate courtyard of The Alma pub inCrystal Palace. It runs every Saturday withover 20 stalls selling plants & flowers,beauty products & treatments, exotic oils,olive oils, capers, strawberries, chocolates,jewellery, hand made cards, rugs,leatherwear, knitwear, deli produce & awide range of arts & crafts from localartists, plus hot food and collectables - andthe Jerk Chicken man will be there!10am - 4pmThe Alma, 95 Church Road, CrystalPalace, London SE19www.thealmapub.com• Club: Linton Saturday night's music is a mixture ofdance-driven, bass-heavy sounds... fromDubstep, Drum n Bass, Old Skool Jungle,HardStyle, Old Rave Tunes, 90's UKGarage, Big 'Phat' Beats, Grime, Ragga,HipHop, Subtle acid breaks, Electro,Moombahton, Techno, Trojan Ska & Dubfrom DJ LINTON. Because it’s war on thedancefloor. Cheap Sheep drinks deals till9pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.

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020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.comwww.myspace.com/blacksheepbar• Club: Tiger Tiger Tiger and Raffles Bar: with Capital FM DesPaul and Chris Brooks playing out the bestin commercial party and danceanthems.Groovy Wonderland: 70’s and80’s floor fillers. Club: Commercial House.Admission free before 10pm, £7 after.Guestlist free before 11pm, £5 after. Dresscode: Dress to Impress - No Sportswear.Tiger Tiger, 14-16 High Street, Croydon,CR0 1GT. 020 8662 4949. www.tigertiger-croydon.co.uk• Music: The Edge THE EDGE NIGHT CLUB OPEN EVERY FRI& SAT. CLUB CLASSICS & CHARTANTHEMS tll 3am*FREE PUB 2 CLUB ADM B4 10pm*The Norbury & Edge 1300 London RoadNorbury Croydon SW16 4DG• Music: New Orleans JazzQuality live jazz every Saturday Night.From 8.30pm. £6 entry includes free raffle.Blackheath Hockey Club, Rubens Street,Sydenham, SE6 4DH (behind Old RutlandPub)• Music: Various Live music most Saturday nights.The Good Companions, Hamsey Green,South Croydon. 020 8657 6655• Gay: Party NightEvery Saturday nigt is party night at TheBird. The Bird In Hand, 291 SydenhamRoad, Croydon, CR0 2EL. 020 8683 3104www.birdinhand.uk.com• Burlesque: Tassel Club Tassel Club Supper Club.Contact reservations@proud.co.uk fordirect bookings Proud Cabaret, London.www.proud.co.uk• Kids: Storytime with JennyLockyer Stories, songs, puppetry, activities and lotsof fun! It's aimed at 3-7 year olds, but allare welcome!It's every Saturday and it's FREE!1pm-3pm.Upstairs at the Green Dragon58-60 High Street, Croydon,CR0 1NA• Community: Women-OnlySwimming Sessions Thornton Heath pool: Saturday 4.45 -6.45pm. New Addington pool: Saturdays2.30-3.30pm.The cost for a non-member adult swim is£3.30 per hour. For further information onmembership, activities, prices andtimetables go to www.fusion-lifestyle.com/contracts/Croydon_Council• Music: DJsA range of DJs playing eclectic tunes andrequests. Every Friday and Saturday.

The Odd Shoe, 24 Park Street, Croydon• Music: Celebration Saturdays -Party Night NEW Jazz and Soul Bar - strictly over 25s.The Soulful Cellar, 90B High Street,Croydon CR0 1ND, 0208 688 0009(nest to Tacolisa, opposite Il Ponte)Open Mon - Sun: 12:00 - 04:00Facebook page: The Soulful Cellar• Music: DJ Schminky House & Amp. 8pm – 4am. Free before 10£5 after. 18+ venue, Please remember tobring your ID to sign up to ourmembership system, we accept drivinglicenses or passports or pass logo approvedcards. Dress code - Smart casual wearmust be worn. We don’t allow: Dirty workwear, baseball caps, Stone Island orhoodies(Except on sundays when there will be a30 plus policy)Bad Apple Croydon, 3 - 7 Park Street, Croydon, CR0 1YDhttp://badapple.cohttp://the-soapco.blogspot.com• Music: Live MusicVarious acts. Every Saturday evening.Lansdowne Lounge, 1 Lansdowne RoadCroydon, Surrey, CR9 2BN• Music: Live Music Live music at The Oval - see daily what’son for who’s playing when. From 8pm.FREE entry!The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road,Croydon, CR0 6BR. 020 8686 6023

Every Sunday:• Music: New Orleans JazzEvery Sunday 12.30 - 2.30pm at The LordNapier Jazz Pub. Entry £2, dance floor,raffle, great atmosphere at one of thelongest running Jazz Pubs in Great BritainThe Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road,Thornton Heath. 020 8653 2286• Music: Live Jazz Lunchtime Jazz every Sunday from 1pm.See daily what’s on for who’s playing thismonth. FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpub• Music: Live Blues Live music at The Oval - see daily what’son for who’s playing when.From 5.30pm.FREE entry!The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road,Croydon, CR0 6BR. 020 8686 6023• Quiz: The ViewEvery Sunday evening.The View, 188 selsdon Road, SouthCroydon, CR2 6PL, 020 8688 2315.• Quiz: Wheelwright’s ArmsFrom 8pm. Wheelwright’s Arms,126 Southbridge Road, Croydon, CR0 1AF

• Quiz: Two BrewersFun charity quiz night from 8pm. Two Brewers, 221 Gloucester Road,Croydon, 020 8684 3544• Quiz: The Spread Eagle Fun quiz with round prizes as well as mainprize. £1 per person. From 7pm. The Spread Eagle, 39-41 Katharine St,Croydon, CR0 1NX, 020 8781 1134• Karaoke: The White HorseEvery Sunday Night from 7pm.The White Horse, 1 Selhurst Road,Selhurst, South Norwood, 020 8240 0948• Music: Open Mic Musicians (all instruments) welcome. Withone of our 4 fantastic hosts: Dave Mac,Rob Cushman, Neil Mac and Steve BrightThe Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Road, Purley,CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk• Poker: The Alma Tavern From 6pm. The Alma Tavern, LowerAddiscombe Road, Addiscombe, EastCroydon• Music: Scream Unplugged Croydon's finest acoustic acts, with adifferent theme every week, including:Tribute nights, Spoken word/poetry & soulwith the Eclectic Arts Network, Open Micevents, one-off acoustic sets from localbands and amazing Alt-folk & Americanawith Woodsy's Dock. Seewww.screamlounge.com for what's on.Scream Lounge Music Venue20 Southend, Croydon, CR0 1DN020 8667 0155 (Office)07789 134405 (Mobile)lounge@screamstudios.co.ukwww.screamlounge.com• Music: Sunday Jazz Lunch From midday until 4pm every Sunday, whynot come down for a delicious roast dinnerstraight from the club’s acclaimed kitchens(not compulsory for entry but highlyrecommended!) and enjoy a couple of setsof laid back music from some of London’sbest musicians and singers.Ronnie Scott's Jazz Club, 47 Frith Street,London W1D 4HT Box Office: 020 74390747. www.ronniescotts.co.uk• Sport: Roller Derby Monks Hill Sports Centre 2pm till 4pmAlso croydon roller derby are taking onnew skaters so anyone who's Interestedplease contact us at fenrisflyers@gmail.comor deathpixie666@hotmail.com• Gay: Open The BoxEvery Sunday at 7pm.The Bird In Hand, 291 Sydenham Road,Croydon, CR0 2EL. 020 8683 3104www.birdinhand.uk.com• Community: Women-OnlySwimming Sessions

What’s On - Daily Guide:

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Purley pool: Sundays 2.30-3.30pm.The cost for a non-member adult swim is£3.30 per hour. For further information onmembership, activities, prices andtimetables go to www.fusion-lifestyle.com/contracts/Croydon_Council• Music: The Sunday Service And on the 7th day God partied. Finish offyour weekend with a bit of cheese. Norock, no metal, just good fun party musicto start the next week on a high with DJsRabbi Richie and Preacher Pearse.The Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1QD. Tel: 020 8688 2810.Email: info@theshipcroydon.comwww.theshipcroydon.com• Music: Over 30s Night 7pm-till late. Over 30’s motown (singlesnight). £3.00 all night. 18+ venue, Pleaseremember to bring your ID to sign up toour membership system, we accept drivinglicenses or passports or pass logo approvedcards. Dress code - Smart casual wearmust be worn. We don’t allow: Dirty workwear, baseball caps, Stone Island orhoodies (Except on sundays when therewill be a 30 plus policy)Bad Apple Croydon, 3 - 7 Park Street, Croydon, CR0 1YDhttp://badapple.cohttp://the-soapco.blogspot.com• Club: DJ Tony X We are now open EVERY SUNDAY!DJ Tony X returns playing Classic Rock .Nu Metal . Hair Rock . 80's Rock .Open 11pm til late, any Jager bomb £1.50ALL NIGHT.Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.comwww.myspace.com/blacksheepbar

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Mon 07 May• Bank Holiday: Early May BankHoliday• Event: Record Fair1pm to 8pm at St Michael's Church inCamden, London, UK - right next door tothe big Sainsburys! Free entry!There will also be a poster and fanzine fairas part of the event! Sellers will be sellingpunk, power-pop, new-wave, retro-pop,indie, metal, reggae, 60s, 70s, 80s, rock,grunge, indie, beat, grunge, ska, singer-songwriters, soundtracks, psych, garage-rock, freak-beat, oi!, no-wave, easylistening, country, folk, blues and whateverelse people want to sell!St Michael's Church, Camden, London(bang next door to Sainsburys)Any queries please emailinfo@thelexington.co.ukwww.thecamdencrawl.com/artist/profile/lexington-record-fair/

Tue 08• Comedy: Paul MertonOut of My Head With Paul Merton, LeeSimpson, Richard Vranch and Suki WebsterTickets: £23 Concessions £20 (£2.25booking fee per ticket). For more infoplease visit www.fairfield.co.uk or call thebox office on 020 8688 9291. FairfieldHalls, Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG

Wed 09• Comedy: Comedy Night Our monthly FREE live comedy nightscontinue, with a selection of top-notchtouring UK comedians. Headlined byWayne The Weird & hosted by Sarah Iles.FREE ENTRY, 18+ Starts 8pmScream Lounge Music Venue20 Southend, Croydon, CR0 1DN020 8667 0155 (Office)07789 134405 (Mobile)lounge@screamstudios.co.ukwww.screamlounge.com

Thu 10• Film: Metal - A Headbangers’Journey Classic music cinema on the bar big screen.This week: Metal - A Headbangers'Journey. Sam Dunn's fascinating look atthe history of heavy metal and theanthropology of metallers. Cheap drinkdeals all night. FREE ENTRY, 18+Film starts 7pmScream Lounge Music Venue20 Southend, Croydon, CR0 1DN020 8667 0155 (Office)07789 134405 (Mobile)lounge@screamstudios.co.ukwww.screamlounge.com• Music: Gin Joint Jukebox with DJ Dapper Dan playing swing, jazz,blues and soul. 8pmThe Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street,Croydon, CRO 1NA. Find us on facebook:The Green Dragon Pub• Comedy: HORMONALHOUSEWIVESStarring Margi Clarke. Join the HormonalHousewives as they battle against weightgain, weight loss, mood swings, wine,PMS, men, going to the gym, waxing,stretch marks, men, chocolate, upper-liphair, chocolate, men, chocolate... and allthe other joys of being a 21st Century girl!Did we mention men and chocolate?Grab your friends and head down toFairfield Halls for a night of fun and frolicswith the girls!Tickets: £20 (£2.25 booking fee per ticket).For more info please visitwww.fairfield.co.uk or call the box officeon 020 8688 9291. Fairfield Halls, ParkLane, Croydon, CR9 1DG

Fri 11• Music: Saviour Managementpresents: As Enemies Arise, Blind Ambitions, TheDivided, The Last Legion, The AtrocityExhibition (Metalcore)Ages 16+ welcome, ID required

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What’s On - Daily Guide:

• Film: The Spread Eagle FilmClub Tue 8th MayTonights film is: Like Crazy2.30pm and 8pm. FREE ENTRY!The films are all shown upstairs on thebig screen. We won’t charge you a

penny for coming to see them,all we ask is that you, enjoy some drinksand food...The Spread Eagle, 39-41 KatharineStreet, Croydon CR0 1NXTel: 020 8781 1134

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£5 Entry Doors 7pmScream Lounge Music Venue20 Southend, Croydon, CR0 1DN020 8667 0155 (Office)07789 134405 (Mobile)lounge@screamstudios.co.ukwww.screamlounge.com• Club: FeelGood FridayWelcome to the weekend! Unwind fromthe rat race by taking advantage of ourtwo for one cocktails between 5 and 6before shaking your thing to some of thebest sounds around. DJ Dave Jay will bespinning the biggest club classics and floorfillers whilst you sip on the best drinks intown. What a great way to start theweekend! Book a table: 020 8667 1308Bar Txt, 73 South End, Croydon, CR0 1BF• Music: Main VeinLive music at The Farmers. For moredetails please visit the website.The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, PurleySurrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk

Sat 12• Music: Scream All-Ages presents:Change Persona, Academy Status, AfterHours, Western Bears (Rock/Alt/Punk)Downstairs at Scream Loungeat Scream Lounge. All ages welcome,under 14s must be accompanied by apaying adult. £5 entry. 7pm - 10pmScream Lounge Music Venue20 Southend, Croydon, CR0 1DN020 8667 0155 (Office)07789 134405 (Mobile)lounge@screamstudios.co.ukwww.screamlounge.com• Music: Junk Time Party ITS THE START OF SILLY SEASON SOCOME JOIN US AND CELEBRATE. 2 LIVEAND LOUD SETS FROM J T P AND D JCHRIS HEALEY ON THE ONES ANDTWOS. FREE entry! 8pmThe Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road,Croydon, CR0 6BR. 020 8686 6023• Music: Urban WolfLive music at The Farmers. For moredetails please visit the website.The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, PurleySurrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk• Photography: Croydon PhotoblitzCroydon Photoblitz will be having a 'dayout' on May 12th to visit Reigate Caves (one of their few open days throughoutthe year ).Times etc. still to be announced, but checkwith us on our Flickr and Facebook groups.Contact tel. Eric Hands on 07778 274004.

Sun 13• Music: Steel Riders & SingersnightFloor singers & musicians welcome.Licensed bar. Adm £2 on the door. EverySunday from 8pm.Ruskin House Folk and Blues Club, 23 Coombe Road, For more info call01737 553493 or e-mail:folkandbluesorg@hotmail.comwww.folkandblues.org• Music: Acoustically SpeakingEclectic Arts Network presentsAcoustically Speaking LiveSoul/Poetry/Spoken Word event£5 entry. Starts 7pmScream Lounge Music Venue20 Southend, Croydon, CR0 1DN020 8667 0155 (Office)07789 134405 (Mobile)lounge@screamstudios.co.ukwww.screamlounge.com• Music: Open Mic / Jam NightLive music at The Farmers. For moredetails please visit the website.The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, PurleySurrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk• Music: Live Jazz Every Sunday - Live jazz upstairs from1pm. Act tbc.The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street,Croydon, CRO 1NA. Find us on facebook:The Green Dragon Pub• Music: Sunday BBQDOORS: 6pmADM: £6AGE LIMIT: Over 18s onlyLive acts: The Sheepdogs (Canada) +Inland Sea (Austtalia) + Derr Park + moretbcGenre: VENUE: Windmill Brixton, 22 BlenheimGardens, London SW2 5BZNEAREST TUBE: BrixtonWEB: www.windmillbrixton.co.uk TEL: 020 8671 0700BUY ONLINE:www.windmillbrixton.co.uk/listings

Mon 14• Music: Joe ToppingSee article, this issue. 8pm. Members £6,Non Members £8Croydon Folk Club, Ruskin House 23Coombe Road CR0 1BD.Members £6, Non Members £8, formore info and to book tickets visitwww.croydonfolkclub.org.uk• Music: Mike Noga + Ben Salter +tbcDOORS: 8pm. ADM: £5AGE LIMIT: Over 18s only

Genre: acoustic/indieVENUE: Windmill Brixton, 22 BlenheimGardens, London SW2 5BZNEAREST TUBE: BrixtonWEB: www.windmillbrixton.co.uk TEL: 020 8671 0700• Education / History: MappingRoman Londonan illustrated presentation by Julian HillPost-Excavation Manager Museum of LondonArchaeology. Please note that this talk willtake place in the David Sweet Hall.Indoor meetings are held in the Small Hallof the United Reformed Church Hall,Addiscombe Grove, EastCroydon CR0 5LP at 19.45. Visitorswelcome, donations accepted.Croydon Natural History and ScientificSocietyhttp://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/pages/Croydon-Natural-History-Scientific-Society/106522816087133

Tue 15• Theatre: LILIES ON THE LAND5 May – Saturday 19 May 7.45pm, Thu &Sat Mat 2.30pm. A truly remarkable andsparkling piece of theatre which celebratesan extraordinary episode in Britain’s history– the Women’s Land Army of World WarII. This delightful and often deeplytouching play charts the personal journeysof four women who sign up to becomeLand Girls, determined to work endless,backbreaking hours on farms across thecountry in a bid to do their best for theWar Effort. But how will these women,hailing from all different walks of life, tornfrom their families and bereft of all basichome comforts, deal not only with thehardships of farming life and the pressuresof war, but also with being outsiders innew surroundings? Maybe work clothesfull of mice and toilet rolls falling from theskies are just what it takes for these girls toget through…Based on hundreds of lettersfrom and interviews with the original LandGirls along with songs from the period,Lilies on the Land is a revealing, funny,wonderfully moving and utterly captivatingportrait of some of Britain’s pluckiest,unsung heroes. Suitable for ages 9+.Tickets: £18, concessions £15. (£2.25booking fee per ticket). For more infoplease visit www.fairfield.co.uk or call thebox office on 020 8688 9291. FairfieldHalls, Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG

What’s On - Daily Guide:

may2012 11/5/12 8:31 pm Page 31

Wed 16• Music: Midweek Music ClubLive music at The Farmers. For moredetails please visit the website.The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, PurleySurrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk

Thu 17• Music: Paperjets, 100% Cotton,We Come First(Alt/Pop-Punk) £4 Entry, 18+ Doors 8pmScream Lounge Music Venue20 Southend, Croydon, CR0 1DN020 8667 0155 (Office)07789 134405 (Mobile)lounge@screamstudios.co.ukwww.screamlounge.com• Film: End Of The Century - TheStory of The RamonesScream Lounge Film NightThis week: End Of The Century - TheStory of The Ramones. Michael Gramaglia& Jim Fields' epic documentary traces thecomplete and candid history of the unlikelyand dysfunctional punk heroes.Classic music cinema on the bar big screen.Cheap drinks, FREE ENTRY, 18+ Starts7pmScream Lounge Music Venue20 Southend, Croydon, CR0 1DN020 8667 0155 (Office)07789 134405 (Mobile)lounge@screamstudios.co.ukwww.screamlounge.com

• Music: Gin Joint Jukebox with DJ Dapper Dan playing swing, jazz,blues and soul. 8pmThe Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street,Croydon, CRO 1NA. Find us on facebook:The Green Dragon Pub• Music: THE TEMPERANCE SEVENWho could have predicted that a band,which hit the top of the charts in 1961with a song and style that were alreadyforty years out of date, would still bearound in 2008, still playing the samestyle of music…… now over eighty yearsout of date! The original members have alllong ceased to appear with the band, butthe current incumbents who can boastover 200 years of service between themhave carried on the inimitable sound, thehilarious deadpan tomfoolery, and thesartorial elegance of The TemperanceSeven. Audiences regularly comment onthe fact that they sound and look just thesame as when they first heard the band inthe 60s! The main difference now is thatthe band has a vast repertoire ( unlike theoriginal members who only knew aboutfive arrangements back in 1961) with newitems constantly being added…. jazzclassics from the past, originalcompositions, novelty numbers ….sowhatever your taste in jazz TheTemperance Seven will play it for you.Tickets: £14, concessions £12 (£2.25booking fee per ticket). For more infoplease visit www.fairfield.co.uk or call thebox office on 020 8688 9291. FairfieldHalls, Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG

Fri 18• Music: Big Sister presents:Kobayashi, Acroama, Burgundy, Play InCar (Alternative/Rock/Prog/Indie)Four amazing alt-rock bands play a freeshow. Reccomended to fans of Muse, BiffyClyro etc. Downstairs at Scream LoungeFREE ENTRY, 18+. Starts 8pmScream Lounge Music Venue20 Southend, Croydon, CR0 1DN020 8667 0155 (Office)07789 134405 (Mobile)lounge@screamstudios.co.ukwww.screamlounge.com• Film: The Iron Lady10.30am & 7pm (CONCERT HALL)Directed by Phyllida Lloyd, 2011.StarringMeryl Streep, Jim Broadbent and RichardE. Grant. A look at the life of MargaretThatcher, the former Prime Minister of theUnited Kingdom, with a focus on the priceshe paid for power. Tickets: £5 (Nobooking fee) The only cinema in Croydonwhere you can take your beer or wine intothe auditorium with you!. For more info

please visit www.fairfield.co.uk or call thebox office on 020 8688 9291. FairfieldHalls, Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG• Music: UploadedLive music at The Farmers. For moredetails please visit the website.The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, PurleySurrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk

Sat 19• Event: Beer FestivalUntil 5th June. The Dog and Bull, 24Surrey Street, Croydon, CR0 1RG. Tel 0208667 9718. e: dogandbull@youngs.co.uk • Music: Bleed To This present:Caravan Of Whores, Stone Kings, CrimsonDreams, Thousand Years Of Chaos(Metal/Thrash/Doom)Ages 16+ welcome - ID required£4 Entry, Doors 7.30pmScream Lounge Music Venue20 Southend, Croydon, CR0 1DN020 8667 0155 (Office)07789 134405 (Mobile)lounge@screamstudios.co.ukwww.screamlounge.com• Music: 2 Band NightLive music at The Farmers. For moredetails please visit the website.The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, PurleySurrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk• Music: Harry Bird and the RubberWelliesA Ukelele Jam special night: Based inBilbao, Dublin and Groningen Harry Bird &The Rubber Wellies have spent the... last 3years touring Europe. Their debut albumLong Way to Be Free, a home growncollection of songs exploring love, faithand displacement in a world ofcontradictions, has already picked upplenty of airplay since its release in 2009and now they are back with their muchanticipated 2nd album The Bones on Black.www.hotdroprecords.com"A unique blend of international folkmusic…a fantastically enjoyable chilled outmesh of musical culture" - The LondonMusic Blog. 8pm-11pm. FREE ENTRY!The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street,Croydon, CRO 1NA. Find us on facebook:The Green Dragon Pub• Music: Junk Time Party Hi all, Homebrood cordially invites you tothe Oval Tavern on Saturday 19th May2012... We hope you can come! FREEentry! 7.30pmThe Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road,Croydon, CR0 6BR. 020 8686 6023

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What’s On - Daily Guide:• Film: The Spread Eagle FilmClub Tue 15th MayTonights film is: Midnight in Paris2.30pm and 8pm. FREE ENTRY!The films are all shown upstairs on thebig screen. We won’t charge you a

penny for coming to see them,all we ask is that you, enjoy some drinksand food...The Spread Eagle, 39-41 KatharineStreet, Croydon CR0 1NXTel: 020 8781 1134

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Sun 20• Music: Biggin Hillbillies & SingersnightFloor singers & musicians welcome.Licensed bar. Adm £2 on the door. EverySunday from 8pm.Ruskin House Folk and Blues Club, 23 Coombe Road, For more info call01737 553493 or e-mail:folkandbluesorg@hotmail.comwww.folkandblues.org• Music: Jam NightLive music at The Farmers. For moredetails please visit the website.The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, PurleySurrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk• Music: Live Jazz Every Sunday - Live jazz upstairs from1pm. Act tbc.The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street,Croydon, CRO 1NA. Find us on facebook:The Green Dragon Pub

Mon 21• Music: CrownstreetLocal folk purveyors. 8pm. Members £6,Non Members £8Croydon Folk Club, Ruskin House 23Coombe Road CR0 1BD.Members £6, Non Members £8, formore info and to book tickets visitwww.croydonfolkclub.org.uk

Tue 22

• Music: JULIAN LLOYD WEBBER,JOHN LILL & EMMA JOHNSONProgramme: Beethoven: Trio No. 4 in Bflat, Op. 11, Weber: Grand DuoConcertant in E flat, Op. 48, Chopin:Nocturne in C major Op. 48 No. 1,Prokofiev: Toccata in D minor Op. 11,Lloyd Webber: In the Half Light, LloydWebber: Nocturne, Faure: Elegie, Brahms:Trio in A minor Op. 114. Tickets: £15, £20,£24 (£2.25 booking fee per ticket). Formore info please visit www.fairfield.co.ukor call the box office on 020 8688 9291.Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon, CR91DG

Wed 23• See Every Wednesday

Thu 24• Film: Pink Floyd - PulseClassic music cinema on the bar big screen.This week: Pink Floyd - Pulse.The entire 1994 Earls Court concert fromthe world's biggest selling prog rockers.Featuring 70s- 90s classics, a completeperformance of Dark Side Of The Moon,plus one of the most over-the-top film,light and laser shows in concert history!! Cheap drinks, FREE ENTRY, 18+Starts 7pmScream Lounge Music Venue20 Southend, Croydon, CR0 1DN020 8667 0155 (Office)07789 134405 (Mobile)lounge@screamstudios.co.ukwww.screamlounge.com• Music: Gin Joint Jukebox with DJ Dapper Dan playing swing, jazz,blues and soul. 8pmThe Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street,Croydon, CRO 1NA. Find us on facebook:The Green Dragon Pub• Music: JOOLS HOLLAND AND HISRHYTHM & BLUES ORCHESTRAFairfield Halls, Croydon by arrangementwith One Fifteen presents Jools Hollandand his Rhythm & Blues Orchestrafeaturing GILSON LAVIS and guestvocalists RUBY TURNER and LOUISEMARSHALL. Tickets: £30.50, £32.50(£2.25 booking fee per ticket). For moreinfo please visit www.fairfield.co.uk or callthe box office on 020 8688 9291. FairfieldHalls, Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG• Comedy: IN MY SHOESSTARRING ANGIE LE MARThursday 24 to Saturday 26 May 7.45pmFor 3 nights only! Angie Le Mar brings thefull scale version of her Five Star, Off-WestEnd, one-woman hit show to the AshcroftTheatre prior to national and international

tours. In My Shoes goes straight tocomedy’s edge with a beautifully portrayedcollection of short stories which chart theperils and fortunes of six distinct, butintricately woven individuals: FirebrandAmerican Soul singer Falushilah Falashilay,Wannabe model Rebecca Star, Cityexecutive Valarie Simpson, Teenage mentorDupre Mckenzie, Jaded actress SamanthaHide and Lifestyle guru CharmaineLawrence. If you enjoyed Angie in TVshows: Get-Up Stand-Up and The RealMcCoy – Theatre shows: Funny BlackWomen On The Edge, The Brothers, Forty,Do You Know Where Your Daughter Is? -Choice FM’s Ladies’ Room - and stand-upshows The Originals and An Audience withAngie Le Mar then step right up and donot miss In My Shoes! Tickets: £15, £17.(No booking fee) . For more info pleasevisit www.fairfield.co.uk or call the boxoffice on 020 8688 9291. Fairfield Halls,Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG

Fri 25• Event: Towel DayTowel Day is an annual celebration on the25th of May, as a tribute to the late authorDouglas Adams (1952-2001). On that day,fans around the universe proudly carry atowel in his honour. (This year is actuallySuper Towel Day as it’s 25th of the 5th 12,so 25 + 5 + 12 =42!) To celebrate, Don’tPanic but pop in for a drink with uswearing your towel and you’ll get a freepacket of peanuts... 11.30am - 7pm. Formore info on towel day see:www.towelday.org Bishops Wine Bar, 1129 Whitgift Centre,Croydon, CR0 1UZ. Find us on facebook -Bishops Wine Bar• Music: Big Sister's Freaky Fridaypresents:The Program Initiative, Cane Hill Drive-Thru, Mayors Of Miyazaki (Alternative)Headline show by the multi-media post-rockers, playing the live soundtrack to theirown DIY sci-fi feature film. An awesomespectacle. Support comes from ace localalt-rockers CHDT plus London math-punkpower trio Mayors Of Miyazaki.Upstairs at Scream LoungeFREE ENTRY, 18+. Starts 8pmScream Lounge Music Venue20 Southend, Croydon, CR0 1DN020 8667 0155 (Office)07789 134405 (Mobile)lounge@screamstudios.co.ukwww.screamlounge.com

What’s On - Daily Guide:

• Film: The Spread Eagle FilmClub Tue 22nd MayTonights film is: Las Acacias2.30pm and 8pm. FREE ENTRY!The films are all shown upstairs on thebig screen. We won’t charge you a

penny for coming to see them,all we ask is that you, enjoy some drinksand food...The Spread Eagle, 39-41 KatharineStreet, Croydon CR0 1NXTel: 020 8781 1134

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• Cabaret: Tongue & Cheek CabaretA night of music, comedy, burlesque,magic and more. £7 advance, 18+Doors 7pmScream Lounge Music Venue20 Southend, Croydon, CR0 1DN020 8667 0155 (Office)07789 134405 (Mobile)lounge@screamstudios.co.ukwww.screamlounge.com• Music: Inside EdgeLive music at The Farmers. For moredetails please visit the website.The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, PurleySurrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk

Sat 26• Party: Eurovision Party!From 7ish. The Dog and Bull, 24 Surrey Street,Croydon, CR0 1RG. Tel 020 8667 9718e: dogandbull@youngs.co.uk • Music: Anivian Promotionspresent:Finisher, Doomed From Day One, Seed OfDetest, Via The Void, Betray The Throne(Metal/Death/Metalcore) Ages 16+welcome - ID required. £5 entryDoors 7pmScream Lounge Music Venue20 Southend, Croydon, CR0 1DN020 8667 0155 (Office)07789 134405 (Mobile)lounge@screamstudios.co.ukwww.screamlounge.com• Music: BrightwhiteLive music at The Farmers. For moredetails please visit the website.The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, PurleySurrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk

Sun 27• Music: Live Jazz Every Sunday - Live jazz upstairs from1pm. Act tbc.The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street,Croydon, CRO 1NA. Find us on facebook:The Green Dragon Pub• Comedy: AMATEURTRANSPLANTS: ADAM KAY’SSMUTTY SONGSAmateur Transplants frontman Adam Kaysits at a grand piano and sings smuttysongs. With sell-out tours and EdinburghFringe seasons, his cutting-edge, darklyhumourous re-imaginings of pop and rockclassics have gained him a cult followingacross the UK. His songs have over 20million hits on YouTube (including theiconic London Underground Song) and

have been in the iTunes comedy top tenconsistently since 2008. This show isprobably not suitable for your elderlymaiden aunt. NB Unlike the majority ofmusical comedy, this is actually funny.Tickets: £16 (£2.25 booking fee perticket). For more info please visitwww.fairfield.co.uk or call the box officeon 020 8688 9291. Fairfield Halls, ParkLane, Croydon, CR9 1DG• Music: Singers nightFloor singers & musicians welcome.Licensed bar. Adm £2 on the door. EverySunday from 8pm.Ruskin House Folk and Blues Club, 23 Coombe Road, For more info call01737 553493 or e-mail:folkandbluesorg@hotmail.comwww.folkandblues.org• Music: Tom Waits nightLocal bands and artists play the songs andmusic of the grizzled and experimentaltroubadour. FREE ENTRY. Starts 6.30pmScream Lounge Music Venue20 Southend, Croydon, CR0 1DN020 8667 0155 (Office)07789 134405 (Mobile)lounge@screamstudios.co.ukwww.screamlounge.com• Film: CasablancaDirected by Michael Curtiz. StarringHumphrey Bogart, Ingrid Bergman andPaul Henreid. Set in unoccupied Africaduring the early days of World War II: AnAmerican expatriate meets a former lover,with unforeseen complications.Tickets: £5 (No booking fee) The onlycinema in Croydon where you can takeyour beer or wine into the auditorium withyou!. For more info please visitwww.fairfield.co.uk or call the box officeon 020 8688 9291. Fairfield Halls, ParkLane, Croydon, CR9 1DG• Music: Open Mic / Jam NightLive music at The Farmers. For moredetails please visit the website.The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, PurleySurrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk

Mon 28• Music: Singers and MusiciansNightStart the Jubilee Singers & Musicians night.8pm. £3Croydon Folk Club, Ruskin House 23Coombe Road CR0 1BD.Members £6, Non Members £8, formore info and to book tickets visitwww.croydonfolkclub.org.uk• Education / History: The work ofthe Survey of Londona talk about this monumental survey

of London’s buildings by Professor AndrewSaint. Indoor meetings are held in theSmall Hall of the United Reformed ChurchHall, Addiscombe Grove, EastCroydon CR0 5LP at 19.45. Visitorswelcome, donations accepted.Croydon Natural History and ScientificSocietyhttp://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/pages/Croydon-Natural-History-Scientific-Society/106522816087133

Tue 29

• Theatre: Sing-a-long-a-GreaseYou’d better shape up to sing along to thegreat movie musical, complete with on-screen lyrics and the chance to become aT-Bird or Pink Lady for the night and enterthe world famous fancy dress competition.The performance starts with a Sing-a-long-a host who warms up the audience, trainsthem how to “hand-jive”, deploy thecontents of their free goodie bags andheckle in all the right places as well asjudge the fancy dress competition.Tickets: £15 (£2.25 booking fee per ticket).For more info please visitwww.fairfield.co.uk or call the box officeon 020 8688 9291. Fairfield Halls, ParkLane, Croydon, CR9 1DG

What’s On - Daily Guide:

• Film: The Spread Eagle FilmClub Tue 29th MayTonights film is: The Artist2.30pm and 8pm. FREE ENTRY!The films are all shown upstairs on thebig screen. We won’t charge you a

penny for coming to see them,all we ask is that you, enjoy some drinksand food...The Spread Eagle, 39-41 KatharineStreet, Croydon CR0 1NXTel: 020 8781 1134

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Wed 30• See Every Wednesday

Thu 31• Music: Gin Joint Jukebox with DJ Dapper Dan playing swing, jazz,blues and soul. 8pmThe Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street,Croydon, CRO 1NA. Find us on facebook:The Green Dragon Pub• Theatre: BLONDE POISONThursday 31 May to Saturday 2 June7.45pm, Saturday matinee 2.30pm A playby Gail Louw. Starring Elizabeth Counsell.Directed by Tony Milner. Designed byKenneth Mellor. Based on the true story ofa woman who was both victim andpersecutor during World War II. StellaGoldschlag was a Jew living illegally inwar-torn Berlin when she was betrayedand tortured. When offered the chance ofsaving herself and her parents fromdeportation to Aushwitz, she agreed to bea ‘Greifer’ for the Gestapo and betray Jewsin hiding. She was extraordinarilysuccessful in this and her activitiesincreased after her parents had finally beendeported. She was accused of finding andcapturing more than three thousand Jews.The dimensions of Stella’s character arevast and range from tortured victim tocruel killer, from loving daughter tobetrayer of friends, from gentle lover todepraved promiscuity. She was given thename ‘Blonde Poison’ by the Gestapo whorevelled in her treachery. Gail Louw’spowerful new play deals with Stella’s lastchance for redemption. Decades after theWar she agrees to be interviewed by a wellrespected journalist – but again findsherself caught in a web of danger. CanStella Goldschlag ever be released from herpast? Tickets: £15, students £10. (£2.25booking fee per ticket). For more infoplease visit www.fairfield.co.uk or call thebox office on 020 8688 9291. FairfieldHalls, Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG

Fri 01 June • Music: SecondSightThe prog covers band return, playingclassic tunes from the 70s and beyond,including music by: Jethro Tull, Genesis,King Crimson, Pink Floyd and more...Support tbc. £5 Entry, 16+. Starts 8pmScream Lounge Music Venue20 Southend, Croydon, CR0 1DN020 8667 0155 (Office)07789 134405 (Mobile)lounge@screamstudios.co.ukwww.screamlounge.com

Sat 02• Event: Jubilee Concert & FancyDress PartyEnjoy the Jubilee concert live on ourscreens and come and enjoy our fancydress party - theme: Kings and Queensthrough the ages.The Dog and Bull, 24 Surrey Street,Croydon, CR0 1RG. Tel 020 8667 9718e: dogandbull@youngs.co.uk

Sun 03• Event: Champagne BreakfastThe Dog and Bull and The Green Dragoninvite you to celebrate the Jubilee in style!Large full English breakfast and a glass ofchampagne for £15. Tickets from Andy atthe Dog or Esther at the Dragon.The Dog and Bull, 24 Surrey Street,Croydon, CR0 1RG. Tel 020 8667 9718e: dogandbull@youngs.co.ukThe Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street,Croydon, CRO 1NA. Find us on facebook:The Green Dragon Pub• Music: Live Jazz Every Sunday - Live jazz upstairs from1pm. Act tbc.The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street,Croydon, CRO 1NA. Find us on facebook:The Green Dragon Pub• Club: Emissions - DnB, Techstep,DarksideOur outing this time shall be decidedlymore industrial, grungier and harderhitting. We retain certain ‘hard dance’components with the introduction ofguitar-driven EDM, breakbeat, drum &bass - at times energized with a moreconventional punk / metal stimulus - aswell as the crossbreed / darkside we alludeto. And to really set the scene we havesome assistance... We are excited towelcome Chris Jarman, aka Raiden, whoflies in from Tallinn, Estonia, especially forthe occasion, and Stuart Perkins akaCause4Concern, both EDM and drumluminaries of some distinction; for thosewho have yet to make their acquaintance,perhaps the event will serve as the perfectinduction. 9pm - 4am.Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com

Mon 04• Bank Holiday: Spring BankHoliday• Music: Rockabilly DiscoRockabilly DJs playing tunes from the 50sand 60s from 7pm-11pm.The Dog and Bull, 24 Surrey Street,Croydon, CR0 1RG. Tel 020 8667 9718e: dogandbull@youngs.co.uk

Tue 05• Bank Holiday: Diamond JubileeBank HolidayGAWD BLESS ‘ER!• Quiz: All Generations Quiz Night6 rounds with each one dedicated to adecade in which the Queen has been onthe throne.The Dog and Bull, 24 Surrey Street,Croydon, CR0 1RG. Tel 020 8667 9718e: dogandbull@youngs.co.uk

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What’s On - Daily Guide:

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CRICKET:• England:17th - 21st May - First Test Match -England v West Indies, Lord's, 11:00 25th - 29th May - Second Test MatchEngland v West Indies, Trent Bridge, 11:007th - 11th June - Third Test MatchEngland v West Indies, Edgbaston, 11:00 • Surrey:9th May - Worcestershire v Surrey, ChesterRoad North Ground, 11:0016th May - Surrey v Somerset, The KiaOval, 11:0020th May - Surrey v Durham, The KiaOval, 13:4523rd May - Surrey v Warwickshire, The KiaOval, 11:002nd June - Glamorgan v Surrey, SwalecStadium, 13:453rd June - Surrey v Hampshire, The KiaOval, 13:455th June - Surrey v Scotland, The Kia Oval,13:456th June - Sussex v Surrey, Cricket FieldRoad, 11:00The Kia Oval, Kennington, SE11 5SS. More info / tickets from www.kiaoval.com020 7820 5700

FORMULA ONE:• Spanish Grand Prix:Montmelo, 11-13 MayLive on BBC TV, radio and online Fri 11 May 2012Practice 1 09:00 - 10:30Practice 2 13:00 - 14:30Sat 12 May 2012Practice 3 10:00 - 11:00Qualifying 13:00Sun 13 May 2012Race 13:00• Monaco Grand Prix:Monte Carlo, 25-27 MayLive on BBC TV, radio and online Thu 24 May 2012Practice 1 09:00 - 10:30Practice 2 13:00 - 14:30Sat 26 May 2012Practice 3 10:00 - 11:00Qualifying 13:00Sun 27 May 2012Race 13:00

TENNIS:• French Open:Roland Garros, 28th May - 10th June

GOLF:• The Players Championship:May 10th - 13th USPGA Tour: THEPLAYERS Championship, TPC Sawgrass,Ponte Vedra Beach, Florida, United States

of America.• The PGA Championship:May 24th - 27th BMW PGACHAMPIONSHIP, Wentworth Club, Surrey,England.

HORSE RACING:• Major MeetingsWed 9th - Fri 11th May - Chester MayFestival. Including the Cheshire Oaks,Chester Cup, Chester Vase, Ormonde.Info: www.chester-races.co.uk(Showing on Channel 4) Wed 16th - Fri 18th May - York Dante.Including the Tattersalls Musidora, DanteStakes, Yorkshire Cup. Info: www.yorkracecourse.co.uk(Dante showing on Channel 4) Sat 19th May - Newbury Lockinge.Including the possible return of Frankel.Info: www.newbury-racecourse.co.uk(Showing on Channel 4) Fri 1st - Sat 2nd June - Epsom DerbyMeeting. Including the Oaks and theDerby. Info:www.epsomdowns.co.uk(Showing on BBC TV)• Ascot RacesClapham Junction to Ascot. 7 min walk tocourse. Fri 11th May: Evening Flat Turf Sat 12th May: Afternoon Flat Turf feat.The Victoria Cup. More info / tix: www.ascot.co.ukAscot Racecourse, Ascot, Berkshire SL57JX. Tel: 0844 346 3000 • Brighton RacesDirect Train from East Croydon to Brighton- free shuttle bus to the course. Tue 22nd May: Afternoon Flat Turf Thu 31st May: Afternoon Flat Turf Fri 1st June: Afternoon Flat Turf More info / tix: www.brighton-racecourse.co.ukBrighton Racecourse, Freshfield Road,Brighton, East Sussex, BN2 9XZTel: 01273 603580 • Fontwell RacesDirect Train from East Croydon toBarnham, £2 return shuttle bus to course.16th May - Afternoon Jumps Turf - BritishHeart Foundation Charity RacedaySun 3rd June - Afternoon Jumps Turf - TheBig Bank Holiday Race Day celebrating theDiamond JubileeWed 6th June - Afternoon Jumps TurfMore info / tix: www.fontwellpark.co.ukor call 01243 543335. Fontwell Park Racecourse, Fontwell, WestSussex, BN18 0SX• Goodwood RacesDirect Train from East Croydon toChichester. Bus or taxi to the course.Thu 10th May - Afternoon Flat Turf

Thu 24th - Sat 26th May - May Festival -Afternoon Flat TurfMore info / tix: www.goodwood.co.ukGoodwood Racecourse, Chichester, WestSussex, PO18 0PS. Tel 01243 755000 • Kempton Park RacesDirect Train from Clapham Junction toKempton Park - 200 yards to course.May 9th, 15th, 22nd, - Evening Flat AllWeatherMay 28th - Afternoon Flat All Weather More info / tix: www.kempton.co.uk orcall 01932 782292. Kempton ParkRacecourse, Staines Road East, Sunbury onThames, Middlesex, TW16 5AQ• Lingfield RacesDirect Train from E. Croydon + 5 min walk.Fri 11th May - Afternoon Flat Turf - LadiesDay.Sat 12th May - Afternoon Flat Turf -Derby Trials Day.Wed 16th May - Afternoon Flat AllWeather Wed 23rd May - Afternoon Flat Turf.Sat 26th May - Evening Flat Turf.Tue 29th May - Afternoon Flat AllWeatherMore info / tix: lingfield-racecourse.co.uk.Or call 01342 834800. Lingfield Park, Racecourse Road, Lingfield, Surrey, RH7 6PQ• Plumpton RacesDirect Train from E. Croydon + 5 min walk Sun 13th May: Afternoon Jumps Turf -Ladies Day. More info / tix: plumptonracecourse.co.ukor call 01273 890383.Plumpton Racecourse, Plumpton, EastSussex, BN7 3AL• Sandown RacesDirect Train from Clapham Junction toEsher. Free minibus shuttle to the course.May 24th - Evening Flat Turf May 31st - Evening Flat Turf - BrigadierGerard RacedayMore info / tix: www.sandown.co.uk or call 01372 46 43 48. Sandown Park, Portsmouth Road, Esher,Surrey. KT10 9AJ• Windsor RacesDirect Train from Clapham Junction toWindsor. Bus or River Taxi (with bar!) tocourse.Mon 14th - Evening Flat Turf - FoodFestival.Mon 21st - Evening Flat Turf - CurryFestival.Mon 28th - Evening Flat Turf - Real Aleand Hog Roast Festival.More info / tix: www.windsor-racecourse.co.uk. Royal Windsor Racecourse, MaidenheadRoad, Windsor, Berkshire, SL4 5JJTel: 01753 498400

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GREYHOUND RACING:• Wimbledon GreyhoundsTram to Wimbledon, then bus 493 stopsright outside stadium, else it’s a about a 10min walk. Greyhound Derby: Sat May 12th - ThirdRound,Tue May 15th - Quarter Finals,Sat May 19th - Semi FinalsSat 26th May - The Doggie Derby Final!“Derby Trio” for 2 people which offers youadmission, a race programme and a drinkfor £6 for 2 people - This is a saving of£12.00! For more info visitwww.lovethedogs.co.ukGeneral admin details: Every Friday evening, opens 6.30pm, firstrace 7.30pm, last race around 10.30pm.Every Saturday evening, opens 6.30pm,first race 7.30pm, last race around10.30pm.General Admission PricesAdults: Friday £6.00 and Saturday £6.00(including racecard)Children 12 - 17: £3.50 (no race card)Children under 11: Free (no race card)Please note: Push chairs or Buggies are notpermitted in the stadiumAll Restaurant customers must pre-bookeither on line or by calling 0870 840 8905.

More info / admission deals / tix:www.lovethedogs.co.ukOr call 0870 840 8905. WimbledonGreyhound Stadium, Plough LaneWimbledon, SW17 OBL• Brighton & Hove GreyhoundsDirect train to Hove, 5min taxi to track. Ordirect train to Brighton, 10min taxi. Every Wednesday afternoon - FREE entry!Opens 1pm, 1st race 2.08pm, last race 6.11pmEvery Thursday evening - £5 entryOpens 6pm, 1st race 7.30 pm, last race 10.30pm.Every Friday morning - FREE entry!Opens 10.30am, 1st race 11.11am, last race 1.58pm.Every Saturday evening - £6 entryOpens 6.30 pm, 1st race 7.30 pm, last race 10.30 pmEvery Sunday morning - FREE! entryOpens 11.00am, 1st race 11.28 am,last race 2.12 pm.Children Under 16 free all the time.More info / restaurant reservations / tix:brightonandhovegreyhoundstadium.co.ukOr call 01273 204 601. Coral Brighton &Hove Greyhound Stadium, Nevill Road,Hove, East Sussex, BN3 7BZ

RUGBY UNION:• Heineken Cup Final19th May - 5pm - Twickenham - Leinster vUlster• InternationalsSat 2 June - Wales v Barbarians, 14:00Tue 5 June - Australia v Scotland, 09:30Sat 9 June - New Zealand v Ireland, 20:00South Africa v England, 20:00Australia v Wales, 20:00

RUNNING / CHARITY:• Race For LifeIn aid of Cancer Research - entries are nowbeing accepted for the 2012 London RaceFor Life events, including on 10th June inCrystal Palace and 22nd July in Croydon.To enter or for more information pleasevisit:http://raceforlife.cancerresearchuk.org

Local teams / clubs - wecan list your fixtureshere, for FREE! E-mail hello@deep-london.co.uk

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(1) Number 3 in our occasional series ‘things you don’t expect to see outside your front door when you open it in the morning’; (2-7) St George’s Day Celebrations around Surrey Street and the piazza; (8) Two ghost signs for the price of one - CRO above

the window and the remains of The Wig and Pen above the door, both on the defunct Taberners bar in St George’s Walk; (9) Proof that, in the face of all this bleedin’ rain, and in the Deep Towers garden at least, Spring has actually sprung...

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