Death & DyingDeath & Dying Test Review Test Review

Why we fear death?

• Most fear is of the “unknown.

• Death is the greatest “unknown.”

• Hiding from it/never talking about it will make the fear worse.

• Deal with fear by making it known

Fears associated with death: Know 2 in each.

1. Loss of life– Leaving loved ones– Unfinished business– Giving up our

possessions

2. Process of dying– Losing control– Indignity– Pain or Discomfort

3. Death itself -- Afterlife

– Unknown– Possible punishment– Possible annihilation

4. The Dead– Ghosts– Evil spirits

Why North Americans can more easily deny death: (3)

1. No war on our own soil.

2. No public executions.

3. Longer life-span. (makes us further removed from death).

4. Removed from mainstream living (nursing homes, hospitals, etc.)

5. Society glorifies youth

“Grief Work”

• Grief Work is necessary because part of us has been invested in another – and we must retrieve that part of us that was lost. (rebuilding)

• Grief Work involves:1. Facing2. Breaking3. Replacing

– You are not replacing the PERSON, just the activities and the human (earthly) interaction.

Preparing for Grief

1. Education (Example: this course!)

2. Philosophy of Life Must be broad enough to include a

“philosophy of death.”

3. Build sound community practice\ Wakes, funerals, etc.

Emotions Associated with Grief (3) but be able to explain each

1. Fear – of being alone2. Guilt

Neurotic Guilt - Guilt feelings out of proportion to the cause

3. Angera. Directed Outward (anger at others)b. Directed Inward (depression – angry at self)c. At Godd. At the person

4. Emptiness5. Frustration & Helplessness

WHO DO WE GRIEVE FOR? OURSELVES!

“Abnormal Grief”

• Experiencing these mood changes and emotions (anger, fear, guilt, etc.) after approximately one month.– Widows and widowers may take longer

True & False of Suicide Myth or Truth?

1. Teenage suicide is preventable. True

2. Suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death for age 15-24 and number is increasing dramatically. True

3. Young people commit suicide at a rate of one every hour and 40 minutes in the U.S. True

4. Teenagers talk about suicide to get attention. True BUT ….

5. All teenagers who commit suicide are depressed. True (but all depressed teens aren’t suicidal).

6. Suicidal people really want to die and you can’t stop them. False

7. Talking about suicide will cause someone to try it. False

8. If a person wants to kill themselves, we have no right to stop them. False

9. Once suicidal, you are suicidal forever. False

10. Suicidal thoughts are a sign that the person is “crazy.” False

11. The suicide rate is highest among the elderly. True

12. The most common time for suicide is mid-winter. False

Mortido• Freud says that all people have a

“death wish” or mortido

• Mortido can show itself in (3):– Smoking– Drinking– Drug use– Sexual promiscuity– Risky behavior– Etc.

Émile Durkheim French Sociologist

4 Types of Suicide Define, not list

1. Egoistic Person feels detached from the world – alone. Nobody understands or cares.

2. Altruistic Person feels that the good of society is the greater good, over their own needs – even over their life -- “suicide for a cause”

3. Anomic Caused BY a breakdown of society. Person feels unable to live in the society; needs can never be met.

4. Fatalistic Living under an oppressive government, living in prison, etc. Person feels it is better to die.

• Suicide rate is highest among the

elderly They are at the bottom of the list for suicide threats and attempts HOWEVER at the TOP of the list for completed suicides.

• Most common times for suicide:– Christmas– Springtime

• Because of the CONTRAST between how the person feels and the outside world.

Warning Signs of Suicide Know meaning of each and be able to list 3

1. Suicide Attempt2. Suicide Threat3. Situational Hint4. Family Hint5. Emotional Hint6. Mental Illness7. Other Hints (3) – Giving away possessions,

suddenly “happy” after long depression, gathering weapons, preoccupied with death, making “final arrangements” ….etc

How can we help someone in this situation? Know 3 but the

MEANING of all.

1. Be aware of the warning signs

2. Maintain a relationship based on total acceptance of the person

• Listen – let them vent• Don’t moralize or lecture them

3. Identify the source of the distress. Just like talking to terminally ill patients – let them express feelings freely.

4. Look for problem-solving resources that the person may have – i.e. How have they solved problems before?

5. Identify the person’s values – Find what is important to them (family, friends, etc.) and capitalize on that!

6. Don’t try to handle the problem alone!7. Remove from the premises any weapons or

potentially dangerous medications

Afterlife after suicide

• We can’t judge.• God calls ALL of us.• Free will! The consequences are ours.• Analogy of “Jumping and Living” – Karma

• Suicide is a “permanent solution to a temporary problem.”

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

• Pioneer in bringing the discussion of death and dying out into the mainstream.

• In the late 1960’s

• Originated the 5 Stages of the Dying Process

5 Stages of Dying

1. Denial2. Anger3. Bargaining4. Depression5. Acceptance

• Know how each stage works.• Know other areas where these stages might

apply.

Dealing With the Dying

• Be able to discuss 7 of the 14 points given in class.