Dear Allen SaltyEggs

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    Salty Eggs

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    Dear Allen, in Which Our DistinguishedCongressman Fields Your Questions

    by Salty Eggs Staffon February 2, 2012in Politics, SatireLeave a comment

    http://saltyeggs.com/dear-allen-in-which-our-distinguished-congressman-answers-your-quest

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    Note from the editor: In the tradition of Congressmans Corner, Salty Eggs has invited Rep.

    Allen West to field questions from his South Florida constituents. Until we get a response to our

    query, we will do our best to answer questions on his behalf, based on what we know of his

    temperament and politics.

    Dear Allen,

    You had one hell of a Saturday. First you accused Barack Obama of trying to divide the country. And

    that same night, you told Obama, Sen. Harry Reid, and Reps. Nancy Pelosi and Debbie Wasserman

    Schultz to get the hell out of the United States of America. Hypocritical much?

    B. Esterhaus

    Oakland Park

    Dear Miss Esterhaus,

    Nope. Not one bit. You see, Miss Esterhaus, the deporting of Obama, Reid, Pelosi, Wasserman Schultz

    and other radicals is the first step toward truly uniting these United States of America. I will be introducing

    a bill next week that orders U.S. Customs agents to round up those party leaders, along with all the

    nations registered Democrats, so that they can be placed on freighters bound for the North Pole. Upon

    their arrival, they will commence the construction of a shuttle launch pad to expedite President-Elect Newt

    Gingrichs plan to build a base on the moon. And they had better work fast! Our Republican-only America

    will accelerate the consumption of natural resources, which will speed up the melting of the ice caps,

    according to liberals junk science. By the end of President Gingrichs second term, those Democrats

    http://saltyeggs.com/dear-allen-in-which-our-distinguished-congressman-answers-your-quest

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    willve either drowned in the Arctic Ocean or launched themselves at the moon. Either way, the outcome

    is a stronger America.

    Steadfast and loyal! LTC (R) A B West

    Dear Allen,

    I am an 82-year-old widower, and my granddaughters are my whole life. I have been in poor health for

    many years, but I take comfort in knowing that everything I have worked for my houses, my business,

    my cars I have created for them. Only now Ive learned that my youngest granddaughter, Anna, has

    become engaged to a Palestinian. To a Muslim man! Can I in good conscience avoid writing lovely Anna

    out of my will?

    S. Bumschwitz

    Boca Raton

    Dear Mr. Bumschwitz,

    As every good American knows, Palestinians do not exist just ask President-Elect Gingrich. I presume

    you suffer from dementia, so I will explain this as clearly as I can: Those who call themselves

    Palestinians are Muslims, and Muslims are terrorists. If your granddaughter plans to marry one of these

    freedom rapists, then the word for Anna is enemy combatant.

    So the question is not whether your conscience will let you write Anna OUT of your will. The question is

    whether your conscience will allow you to write Hamas INTO your will. And that is NOT an option

    unless you want to join the other financiers of terrorism in a little nursing home called Guantanomo Bay.

    If you are a true patriot, Mr. Bumschwitz, you will take the portion of the estate you had planned to

    bequeath to Anna and you will instead name my Super PAC as the beneficiary. Also, please die before

    the November 2012 election. August would be ideal.

    Steadfast and loyal! LTC(R) A B West

    Dear Allen,

    I hate Saul Alinksy and I hope he dies. Who is Saul Alinsky?

    D. Smith

    Pompano Beach

    Dear D. Smith,

    He is the single biggest threat to the American way of life today, and he must be stopped before he

    strikes again? Actually, Im not sure who the hell he is. Sounds too Jewish to be a terrorist. Ask Newt.

    Steadfast and loyal! LTC(R) A B West

    http://saltyeggs.com/dear-allen-in-which-our-distinguished-congressman-answers-your-quest