Dating na may datingA Biblical and Practical StudyOn dynamic dating
Rolan & Weng Monje
Some questions for tonightWhat is the purpose of Christian dating?What is the heart behind dating?How can dating glorify God?What is the heart behind dating guidelines?
Fact: Dating and courtship are largely cultural in nature. If we search the Bible for direction, we find that many of the dating practices are Jewish.
Courtship ala-Jews?Can you imagine implementing some of the ancient Jewish dating practices?Gen 24 pre-arranged marriage (w/o courtship)
Jewish dating pratice?
Ruth 3 women can initiate/propose marriage
Judges 31 men just pick-up (literally) their wives to-be from a bonfire party
Principle over practiceFortunately, while dating is mainly cultural, the Bible is cross-cultural. So, when it comes to dating, the Bible suggests principles, not practices.
Biblical Principles that can apply to datingGiving God the glory in everything1Co 10:31-33 So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Do not cause anyone to stumbleGal 5:13 You were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love.
Being patient & trusting GodPs 37:4-6 Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heartPr 3:5-7 Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And do not lean on your own understanding SS 2:7 Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.
Staying pure, honoring God with your body1Co 6:18-20 Flee from sexual immorality. You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.Tit 2.11-12 The grace of Godteaches us to say No to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives
MOTIVATIONRemember our motivation:Main reason = encouragement (Ro 1:12, 15:5; 1 Th 5:11; Heb 10:25). In time, going on dates may lead to looking for a partner for life.Done with a spiritual mindset (See 2 Cor 5:16)Dating is only one of many ways to encourage someone of the opposite sex (See Heb 3:13)
CAUTIONRom 12.1-2a NLT And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God. Let them be a living and holy sacrificethe kind he will accept. When you think of what he has done for you, is this too much to ask? Dont copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do..
How dating endsSuccessful steady dating ends up in two ways:
How dating endsMARRIAGEBREAK-UPBoth are successful because you dont end up marrying someone not for you, or marrying when youre not ready!Anyway, you are brother and sister before you are boyfriend and girlfriend.
The Heart of Guidelines
Guidelines are natural, normal, and neededFamiliesOrganizationsInstitutionsBusinessesOT, God imposed certain practices on Israel to train themNT, advice was given by leaders concerning various issues. These directions were not meant to be legalistic rules but reasonable guidelines to protect the church and to help others. These examples guided the heart and prevented stumbling. (e.g. Acts 15:6, 22-29; 1 Cor 7:12-14; 1 Cor 16:1-2)
GuidelinesMeant to protect our souls from crossing the boundaries of sinEnsure that disciples are different from the world, since we are called by God to have different patterns than the world. Working tools, which did much good for the purity of our members. Some basic guidelines that we believe we still need:
Basic guidelines (from FOF booklet)For singles to date only Christians in the pursuit of holiness (2 Cor 6:14-7:1; 1 Co 7:39, see articles on at the church website).To have at least a double dateFor those going on dates to be home by 12 midnight (This is for purity as well as personal safety.)
Practicals: Beginning datingPray and work on your guidelinesCreate a circle of couples, including married couples which will help you growEvaluate your guidelines after some timeEnjoy your romantic friendship!
Practicals: Distance datingCount the cost before you proceedDecide on how you will be connected with your partnerGet close to those around your partnerGrow in a number of friendships
Practicals: International datingCount the cost before you proceedKeep your relationship from being isolated Have a main couple to help you with bridging the gaps; be completely open with this coupleBe humble to accept that there is much to learn, especially in cultural adjustments
Closing ChallengesBe extra spiritual and gratefulStrive to grow personally, and in the area of encouragementSpiritual bookswww.douglasjacoby.comwww.addtoyourlearning.comBring out the best in your partner!Seek to glorify God in everything you do
ConclusionGod loves it when we delight in His blessingsEnjoy your Christian life