Creating a Jewish Home (1)

8/10/2019 Creating a Jewish Home (1)

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Creating a Jewish HomeCreated for Tzafon USY

Four full lessons (includes Shabbat and non-Shabbatoptions):

1. Shalom Bayit 1: The RE! Shalom "n the #ome$. Shalom Bayit $: #ashomair chi nochi (%ur

Brothers& 'eepers): Siblin Relationships. Eat a !ittle Somethin* #achnasat %rchim:

+elcomin ,uests. Etreme #ome /a0eoer: 2e3ish EditionCreating a makom kadosh, a physical holy space in our

homes

4ore 2e3ish concepts and associated tets: Shalom Bayit Peace in the Home- sibling and family

dynamics in the book of Beresheit

'ibbud a&em- honor of parents Shemot 20!2

:

! :

Hear" my son" the instr#ction of thy father" and forsake not theteaching of thy mother$ %ishlay !& 'Pro(erbs)*keeper +m , my brothers :

/a0om 'adosh: physical 2e3ish space: itual o!"ects,

#udaica, and #e$ish art

#achnasat %rchim- welcoming g#ests

,oals ia actie learnin S./ers will identify core (al#es associated within the Jewish

home and acti(ely practice these concepts

S./ers will disc#ss" thro#gh tet and what it means to b#ild a

Jewish home


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How well did yo# communicatewith each other* ;as comm#nication"

tr#st or both the key to s#ccess here* ;hy is tr#st in yo#r teammatesimportant*

How did it feel when yo# and yo#r teammate s#ccessf#lly tr#sted each

other to accomplish something challenging*

How does this relate to being part of a family*

=,SCSS ,=4+S >: my father9 +nd he said A


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pottage$ for , am faint9A


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profit shall the birthright do to me*A +nd Jacob said ASwear to me firstA$ and heswore #nto him$ and he sold his birthright #nto Jacob9 'Beresheit 2F 2G-EE

Supportive: Sarah and +(raham

B#t +bram said #nto Sarai ABehold" thy maid is in thy hand$ do to her that whichis good in thine eyes9A +nd Sarai dealt harshly with her" and she fled from herface9 'Beresheit !)Empathic: ?oach and sons

+nd ?oah the h#sbandman began" and planted a (ineyard9 +nd he drank of thewine" and was dr#nken$ and he was #nco(ered within his tent9 +nd Ham" thefather of Canaan" saw the nakedness of his father" and told his two brethrenwitho#t9 +nd Shem and Japheth took a garment" and laid it #pon both theirsho#lders" and went backward" and co(ered the nakedness of their father$ andtheir faces were backward" and they saw not their fatherAs nakedness9 +nd ?oahawoke from his wine" and knew what his yo#ngest son had done #nto him9

'Beresheit G 20-2)

Shem runs to tell his brothers (sort of to mock his father! "he other t#obrothers empathically cover their father$s shame!

%n&erstan&in':+(raham and Sarai

1?ow Sarai +bramAs wife bore him no children$ and she had a handmaid" an4gyptian" whose name was Hagar9 $+nd Sarai said #nto +bram ABehold now"the >3= hath restrained me from bearing$ go in" , pray thee" #nto myhandmaid$ it may be that , shall be b#ilded #p thro#gh her9A 'Beresheit ! !-2)

3ead each tet and recap the story for those who may not know9 S./ers choosead1ecti(es or (erbs that describe the actions of the tet9 +sk them for an eamplefrom their own li(es for each word and tet9 :or eample 6eception- read the#ote and recap the story of 4sa(" .aako(" 3i(ka and .it7chak) * told my parents* $as going to my friends house and really * $ent to the concert they hadfor!idden me from attending)

K#estions for disc#ssion s0 8S9ers to stand up and spea0 in first person5puttin themseles in the characters shoes and relate each situation totheir o3n lies.This is 0ey tolearnin the concepts. s0 them to spea0 infirst person as if they 3ere that character.

Pretend yo# are 4isa(9 How wo#ld yo# feel knowing yo# were decei(ed by

yo#r brother* ;as 4isa(/s anger 1#stified* ;hat did .aako( do wrong* ,fhe hadn/t obeyed his mother" he wo#ldn/t be practicing 8ibb#d +( L/em9B#t by doing so" he h#rt both his father and brother9 .aako( tricks hisfather and then is tricked by a(an '3achel and eah story)9 =id he get his

1#st reward*


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Pretend yo# are 8ayin9 How wo#ld yo# feel after being re1ected by Dod

'Dod as a parent)9 ;as Dod wrong to re1ect 8ayin/s gift* Has somethinglike this happened in yo#r ho#se where yo#r parents praise yo#r siblingand not yo#* ;hat does Dod teach 8ayin by re1ecting his offer* ;henparents do this" what are they teaching their children abo#t li(ing #p to

their potential* Pretend yo# are .it7chak- not only did yo#r son trick yo# b#t it was #nder

the ad(ice of yo#r wife9 How wo#ld yo# feel if yo#r life partner decei(edyo#* ;hat elements of a solid marriage were broken here*

Pretend yo# are one of the sons of ?oach9 .o#r parent embarrasses

her@himself in a silly manner9 .o# co#ld either point and la#gh or helprelie(e his@her embarrassment9 3eal life scenario yo#r mom is learning toskate9 She/s wobbling all o(er the place and looks pretty silly9 .o# co#ldpoint and la#gh" b#t e(en yo#r mom can ha(e her feelings h#rt9 >r yo#co#ld hold on to her hand and help her take her first steps as she helpedyo# take yo#rs9

;hat eamples from the dysf#nction families in Beresheit h#rt a Jewishhome* ;hat are some ways in which we can preser(e Shalom Bayit in spiteof nat#ral tendencies to act as o#r ancestors did*

P#t o#t two more tets on the floor

8ibb#d +( (a/em for Shalom Bayit


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5+ man sho#ld honor his wife and children with e(en more than which he has6'Ch#llin &b)

Eamples to discuss: Trust5 communication5 support5 loe5 team3or0

:ollowing the disc#ssion on elements of relationships that h#rt or preser(eShalom bayit" recon(ene as a large gro#p and mo(e to the net step9

eader contin#es

Practice defined gi(ens and add an element of yo#rself

ne s#ggestion is

to #se Job tet as a title 5+nd yo# shall know that yo#r home is at peace6 'F2)

Sample ecipe for Shalom /ayit'ad1#st to taste" c#ps may be con(erted tomonths" teaspoons to years)

=aily doses of home rit#al and traditions 'eample talking before bed)

! week of a (acation eperience

Slices of chores

! day@ho#r of family time

=aily disc#ssions to resol(e conflict

Pinches of 5, lo(e yo#s6

nlimited amo#nt of h#gs and kisses 'come on" no one/s too cool for h#gs

and kisses" e(en from yo#r parents)

Sha!!at 0riendly: pro(ide labels as stickers for possible 5ingredients6 for ShalomBayit9 +sk them to gi(e sit#ations or eamples for each9


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Shalom Bayit esson 2 Hashomair +chi +nochi* .o#rBrothers/ 8eeper

Tet Source:1nd the 234 said unto Cain: 56here is 1!el thy !rother.5 1nd he said: 5* kno$

not7 am * my !rother5s keeper.5 'Beresheit G)

#"

:

Doals >ne ma1or impediment to Shalom Bayit is conflict between siblings9

S.ers will disc#ss real life sit#ations they enco#nter with their siblings athome and disc#ss cases of famo#s Jewish siblings in order to de(elop an#nderstanding of Jewish approaches to sol(ing sibling ri(alry9

,ce breaker :amo#s Sibs Di(e each S./er a card with the name of one of two sibling pairs9 'list

attached)9


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=i(ide into gro#ps9

Scenarios 4ach gro#p is gi(en a biblical tet dealing with a sibling set 'seesibling pairs and #otes from ice breaker)

.osef and Brothers

8ayin and He(el

.it7chak and .aako(

Shem" Cham and .afet

3achel and eah

8nowing these stories" read the tet and disc#ss what circ#mstances or actionsdetermined this relationship and how it destroyed Shalom Bayit*

How did that person/s personality or character determine what happened*

How do yo#@yo#r siblings/ personalities effect how yo# interact*

;hat kind of in(ol(ement do the parents ha(e in these stories and in yo#r

life*

+t what point does it become the siblings/ responsibility to sol(e their own

disp#tes 'parents step back and say Nfig#re it o#t yo#rsel(es/)

;hen do yo# get yo#r parents in(ol(ed in yo#r sibling disp#tes*

How does sibling ri(alry h#rt Shalom Bayit* How can sibling relationships

enhance Shalom Bayit*

4ach gro#p m#st choose one #ote they relate to most and P34S4?< ,< ,? +

34+ ,:4" %>=43? scenario9

Eample: 9osef and 4o.3eal life .o# ha(e two friends o(er and yo#/re hanging o#t playing OB>O in yo#rbasement with them and yo#r brother9 .o#r other brother comes downstairs andwants to play9 He ends #p beating e(eryone in the game" gets cocky and startsbragging" making yo# and yo#r other brother really mad9 .o# kick him o#t of thebasement9 .o#r mom ends #p feeling bad for him for feeling ecl#ded and gi(eshim the car for the weekend9

Practice defined gi(ens Shalom Bayit and Hashomer +chi +nochi

4ach gro#p presents its scenario with approaches to sol(ing the problemsrationally and respectf#lly9 5Here/s the disp#te and this is how we wo#ld sol(eitI96

S#mmary disc#ssion:

;hat can we learn abo#t forgi(eness and brotherhood@sisterhood from the

Joseph story*


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How can the 1ealo#sy and anger between 4isa( and .aako( help #s deal

with conflict we eperience with o#r sibs*

How can we look past differential treatment of parents and #nderstand

that they lo(e #s each in different and e#al ways*

;hat are some ways we can sol(e o#r strife between siblings while

preser(ing Shalom Bayit*

+ttachment Sibling sets and #otes 'sec#lar and Jewishtets)

>wen ;ilson #ke ;ilson5Siblings are the best friends gi(en to #s by Dod6

John C#sack Joan C#sack5:amilies are like f#dge mostly sweet with some n#ts6

%ary-8ate >lsen +shley >lsenSometimes being a brother is better than being a s#perhero

Bart Simpson isa Simpson+ sibling shares childhood memories and grown #p dreams

%eg Driffin Stewey Driffin,ts nice to grow #p with a siblingI sometime to lean on" someone to co#ntonIsomeone to tell onM

Jamie ynne Spears Brittany SpearsSiblings are the people we practice on, the people who teach us aboutfairness and cooperation and kindness and caring - quite often the hard way.

Hillary =#ff Haley =#ff As we grew up, my brothers acted like they didn't care,but I always knew they looked out for me and were there!


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Len#s ;illiams Serena ;illiams

he highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard thatfood came out his nose.

%ichael Jackson Janet Jackson.o# donAt choose yo#r family9


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+nd Joseph dreamed a dream" and he told it to his brethren$ and they hatedhim yet the more 'Beresheit EF) +ae you eer felt "ealous at yoursi!lings success.

8ayin He(el+nd again she bore his brother +bel9 +nd +bel was a keeper of sheep"b#t Cain was a tiller of the gro#nd9 Beresheit 2

.it7chak .ishmael+nd ,saac and ,shmael his sons b#ried him in the ca(e of

%achpelah" in the field of 4phron 'Beresheit 2FG) 1re si!lings responsi!le for !eing

partners in care of parents.

4isa( .aako(+nd Jacob said to 3ebekah his motherABehold" 4sa#my brother is a hairy man" and , am a smooth man9&/eresheit 89:(+o$ are you uni;ue from those $ho are raised along sideyou.

2! +nd 4sa# hated Jacob beca#se of the blessing wherewith hisfather blessed him9 +nd 4sa# said in his heart Aet thedays of mo#rning for my father be at hand$ then will , slay my brother Jacob9A

3achel eah+nd eahAs eyes were weak$ b#t 3achel was of bea#tif#l form andfair to look #pon 'Beresheit !2G) +ae you eer felt compared toyour si!lings, like you $ere second !est.

Shem 'son of ?oach) .afet+nd Shem and Japheth took a garment" and laid it #pon both theirsho#lders" and went backward" and co(ered the nakedness of their father$and their faces were backward" and they saw not their fatherAsnakedness9 'Beresheit G2E)


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esson E 4at a ittle SomethingM

)achnasat *rchim + #elcomin' 'uests

,oals:

S.ers will disc#ss and practice the elements of hosting or

welcoming g#ests

S.ers will determine the (al#e of hachnasat orchim as being

at the core of b#ilding a Jewish home


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+fter abo#t min#tes" 2-E people will be remo(ed from each gro#p and bro#ghtinto another gro#p9


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;hat did it feel like as the newcomer" as the o#tsider* ;ere yo#

conf#sed" fr#strated" disco#raged* =id anyone try and help yo#*

=id yo# feel that yo# co#ld interr#pt and ask for help* =id yo# miss yo#r

own gro#p where yo# knew what was going on* =id anyone wish to reacho#t to the newcomer* =id yo# e(en notice that he@she co#ld ha(e been

lost or conf#sed*

;hat does this ha(e to do with welcoming (isitors* ;hen yo#/re anewcomer to a gro#p or #nfamiliar sit#ation" it helps to know what/s going on andhow that c#lt#re differs from yo#r own9 3---

+cti(ity 2 + Hostile Home Setting #p an #n-in(iting en(ironment


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Present to the gro#p

Step 2: What we DO to welcome guests while in our

homeTet: raham reets the anels

29 5and he lifted #p his eyes and looked" and" lo" three men stood o(er againsthim$ and when he sa3 them" he ran to meet them from the tent door" andbo3ed do3n to the earth" and said A%y lord" if now , ha(e fo#nd fa(o#r inthy sight" pass not away" , pray thee" from thy ser(ant9 et now a little 3aterbe fetched" and 3ash yo#r feet" and reclineyo#rsel(es #nder the tree9 +nd" 3ill fetch a morsel of bread" and stay yeyo#r heart$ after that ye shall passon$ forasm#ch as ye are come to yo#r ser(ant9A +nd they said ASo do" as tho#

hast said9 +nd braham hastened into the tent unto Sarah" and said?/a0e ready#ickly three meas#res of fine meal" knead it" and make cakes9

+nd +braham ran unto the herd" and fetched a calf tender and good" andga(e it #nto the ser(ant$ and he hastened to dress it9 +nd he too0 curd5 andmil05 and the calfwhich he had dressed" and set it before them$ and hestood by them#nder the tree" and they did eat9 'Beresheit !& 2-&)

6hat does 1raham 43 &point out the actions he takes to $elcome his guests()

>ption + Practice defined gi(ens of H+CH?+S+< >3CH,%;elcoming g#ests is a core component of creating a Jewish home9 Based on thistet from Beresheit and yo#r own eperiences" pretend yo# are hosting a gro#pof ,sraeli st#dents coming to (isit9 >f the !F items from the center table that yo#wo#ld pro(ide to ens#re yo#/re g#ests are well care for" choose yo#r top !0 andthen top F9 ;hy are these the most important* =ebate it9 ;hy lea(e o#t theothers*

ist of items+ae actual items or something that represents those items) You can make thisinto an auction $here they are gien a certain amount of money and must!udget for the most necessary items or "ust hae the item name on a card for

them to take !ack to the group) Snack for arri(al

?ame tags so no one is embarrassed abo#t remembering names

,ce breaker games

Sweatshirt or 1acket for #nepected cold weather

4tra pillows and blankets for their sleeping comfort

+n acti(ity that/s both ,sraeli and +merican 'eample a sport)


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se of Hebrew words and phrases so they may feel more comfortable

with the lang#age gap

%#sic for down time

:#n and interesting places on itinerary 'or an act#al itinerary)

Comp#ter or phone for comm#nication with family back home

Dood meals and making s#re dietary needs or restrictions are considered

+sking a lot of #estions abo#t their li(es 'showing interest)

+ gift that/s 5+merican6 for when they arri(e or lea(e

P? B for Hachnasat >rchimHa(e the S.ers host a party9 4plain to them that they/ll be hosting a party forthe ad(isors9 ;hat elements go in to being a host* How will yo# make s#re yo#rg#ests are well cared for and comfortable*

4ach gro#p is assigned to one component of hachnasat orchim :ood

+tmosphere@en(ironment

;elcoming 'like a 8abalat Panim)

,n(itations

+ny other needsRRRRRRRRRRRR 'as a whole" decide what else needs to be

taken care of for the Fthgro#p)

S#mmary

5Happy are those who dwell in .o#r ho#se6

Being a host in(ol(es preparing for the g#est/s arri(al +?= taking care of themwhile in yo#r home9 ;e/(e all been newcomers or g#ests in a gi(en en(ironmentand feeling warmly welcomed and taken care of is one of the greatest gifts wecan gi(e to newcomers9 B#ilding a Jewish home means not only caring for thosewho li(e in that home b#t anyone who enters it9


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esson 4treme Home %akeo(er Jewish4dition &Creating =akom >adosh, a holy physical space(

Doals S.ers will determine what a Jewish home physically looks like '#pon

appearance" what disting#ishes a Jewish home from a non-Jewish home)

S.ers will determine how symbols of Jewish life inspire li(ing a Jewish

life

S.ers will determine how Jewish artifacts connect #s to family andtradition

>pening set ind#ctionShabbat (ersion a li(e story- candlesticks and the Holoca#st

eader walks in with a cane and bab#shka 'dressed as an elderly person)9She@he begins his@her story9 +d lib a story abo#t s#r(i(ing the war as a child inhiding and going back to a home no longer yo#rs to find no s#r(i(ing relati(es"b#t a tarnished menorah dating back to yo#r childhood9 ;hen left with nothing

b#t pain" the menorah was yo#r link to a home and family members gone fore(erand the persistence of tradition and legacy yo# will lea(e with yo#r grandchildren9

+sk for 2 others to read the 2 6omen in the +olocaust(oices

5rbach" 5# .ehi Boker6

p9!0)

5;hat was the power of these simple candles to kindle in my heart thisineting#ishable fire* " don&t 0no3 ho3 to put this feelin into 3ords5 but "someho3 felt as if the souls of all the rihteous 3omen of all theenerations 3ere firmly connected to these candles.Perhaps , saw at thatmoment my mother/s co(ered face" and felt then that thro#gh my mother/s merit


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she wo#ld lighten my hea(y heart96 from ;>%4? ,? >C+S< "p9!EE"


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------------------------------------ rt of the #eart--------------------------------------Practice defined gi(ens and add something of yo#rself

+ee0day create a Birkat Habayit decorati(e wall hanger or %e7#7a with yo#rown family prayer alongside the Shema9 4plain the power of messages thro#ghartistic representations9


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Hole p#nchers

.arn

:elt pieces

Dl#e g#n

3ibbon" glitter gl#e

Scrap material

+ttachment !8et#ba

8et#ba


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+ttachment 2 Birkat Habayit

-./00123 456 78/ 95:/

!lessing for the "ome#$et no sadness come through this gate#

$et no trou%le come to this dwelling#$et no fear come through this door#

$et no conflict %e in this place#

$et this home %e filled with the %lessingof &oy and peace.

Documents

Creating a Jewish Home (1)