Copyright©2010RichardandSusanKollenbergAllrightsreserved.PrintedintheU.S.A.PublishedbyAmazingFacts,Inc.P.O.Box1058Roseville,CA95678-8058(800)538-7275Theinclusionofimagesandquotesbypersons,livingordead,inthisbookdoesnotconstituteanendorsementofthisbookorprogram.Scripturequotationsmarked(GNB)aretakenfromtheGoodNewsBible©1994publishedbytheBibleSocieties/HarperCollinsPublishersLtdUK,GoodNewsBible©AmericanBibleSociety1966,1971,1976,1992.Usedwithpermission.Scripturequotationsmarked(NIV)aretakenfromtheHolyBible,NewInternationalVersion®,NIV®.Copyright©1973,1978,1984byBiblica,Inc.™UsedbypermissionofZondervan.Allrightsreservedworldwide.www.zondervan.comScripturequotationsmarked(NKJV)aretakenfromtheNewKingJamesVersion®.Copyright©1982byThomasNelson,Inc.Usedbypermission.Allrightsreserved.Scripturequotationsmarked(KJV)aretakenfromtheKingJamesVersion.Scripturequotationsmarked(NRSV)aretakenfromtheNewRevisedStandardVersionBible,copyright1989,DivisionofChristianEducationoftheNationalCounciloftheChurchesofChristintheUnitedStatesofAmerica.Usedbypermission.Allrightsreserved.

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Contents

PrefaceIntroductionStep1:AcknowledgeandAdmit(AA)Step2:BegintoBelieve(BB)Step3:CompleteControl(CC)Step4:DifferentDirection(DD)Step5:EraseErrors(EE)Step6:ForeverForgiven(FF)Step7:God’sGrace(GG)

I

Preface

n 1996, my wife Susan and I both broke free from addiction to alcohol,tobacco,cocaine,andmethamphetamine.Allthatisthepastforusnow.

Collectively, however, we spent nearly 50 years in bondage to mind-alteringsubstancesanddestructivebehaviors.Webelieveit’shelpful,therefore,tosharesomeofthethingswe’velearnedinourrecovery.

Throughthisworkbook,wehopetoofferyoutherecipethatworkedforusinobtainingtrue,lastingfreedom.

Afewyearsback,IranintoanoldfriendwithwhomIusedtousedrugs.Ihadn’tseenhiminmorethanadecade.Infact,thelasttimeIsawhim,wewereusingmethtogether.

Tenyearslater,ourstorieswerecompletelydifferent.Hehadcontinuedtousemeth for those next 10 years. I hardly recognized him; he had lost so muchweightandhiseyesweresunkback inhishead.We lookedateachother,andbothofusbegantoweep.Hekeptsayingtome,overandover,howgooditwastoseemeandthatIreallylookedgood.Finally,afteralongembrace,Ilookedhimintheeyesandsaid,“Randy,youdon’thavetolivelikethis.”

“Idon’t?”washissadreply.“No,Randy.Youdon’t.”Itstruckmeatthatmomentthatnoonehadevertold

himthatbefore.Heknewnootherway;therefore,therewasnootherway.Yetadecadeearlier,IwaslikeRandy.IwasthoroughlyconvincedthatIwas

goingto liveasadrugaddict for therestofmylife. Iwascertain inmyheartthataddictionwasmydestiny.Butthenitchanged.

Sowhatwasitthatfreedme?Whowasitthatfinallytoldmethetruth?HowwasIsparedfromtheliesinmyhead?

Thisworkbookwillanswerthesequestionsandmany,manymore.Ifyouareanaddict, itwillhelpyouunderstandwhyyoudo the thingsyoudoand teachyouhowtobehonestwithyourself.Itwillgiveyouapracticalunderstandingofthenatureofaddictionandwillprovidethetoolsyouneedtobreakfree.

Justbecauseyoudon’tknowofanotherwaydoesn’tmeanthere isnootherway.MywifeandIhaveseentheotherway,andwearelivingitrightnow.

Pleasejoinus.—RichKollenberg

RichandSusanJustAsIAmMinistrieswww.justasiamministries.com

T

Introduction

HowtoUseThisWorkbookThisaddictionrecoveryworkbookwasputtogetherforonereason:togiveyou

ameaningful,tangibleprocessinwhichtobreakfreefromaddiction.

hisworkbookisaseven-stepaddictionrecoverymanualdesignedforbothindividual and group settings and for most types of substance andbehavioraladdictions,leaningmorefavorablytoassistanceinalcoholand

drugaddictionrecovery.It is highly recommended that any addiction recovery be done in a group

settingtogetthemaximumbenefitfromtheworkbook,aswellastheadditionalbenefits thatcomewithgroupsupport.Thereisalsoagroupfacilitator’sguideavailabletocomplementthisaddictionrecoveryworkbook.

However, if you are using this workbook as a recovering addict without asupportgroup,itishighlyrecommendedthatyoubeinconstantcontactwithanexperienced accountability partner, as well as a counselor and/or medicalprofessional.

As we go through this workbook together, it will take us on a profoundjourneythatwillopenyoureyestothingsyoumightnothaveknownabouttheworld around you—and new things about yourself—that can make all thedifference.

Wewillunderstandthatmaybewehaven’thadeverythingquiterightinourminds, butwewill also understand that there is hope, freedom, and peace…things that are available to us if we are ready to make some different, andpossiblydifficult,choices.

Ifyoureceivedthisworkbookaspartofakit:1) Look through your kit tomake sure everything is included.You should

have:•Ajournal(seebelow)•Clean:7StepstoFreedompocketbook

•3x5cardsandpencils•StepstoChrist•MusicCD

2)Beginwritinginyourjournaltoday.•Writedownsignificantthingsthatcometoyourmindasyouread.•Writedownthosethingsyouarethankfulfor;thisisyourgratitudelist.•Writedownyourfears,desires,friends,andenemies.•Honestlyincludeyourdailystruggles,failures,andsuccesses.•Includethreethingsthatyoudon’thavenowthatyouwantforyourfuture.

I

StepOne

AcknowledgeandAdmit

Thefirststepinfixingthingsthatarewronginmylifeistorealizethatthereissomethingwrong.

nthisfirststep,wewillfirstlearnsomeimportantdefinitionsthatwillhelpustoevaluatesomeofthosethingsthatwekeepdoingoverandoveragain.

Wewillalsolearnthateventhoughwesometimesfeellikeahamsterinacagerunningonanendlesswheel,thatourlifeisgoingnowhere,wecanactuallychange.

1)Mistakes:WhatExactlyAreThey?

Everyonemakesmistakes; it’s just theway it is.However, the fact thatwehavemademistakesinourlivesdoesn’tmeanthatourlivesareamistake.

We don’t like to make mistakes, but they happen, and then we, and quitepossiblyothers,havetolivewiththecostofthosemistakes.Mistakesandpoordecisionsalwayshaveunpleasantconsequences,soitisimportantthatwelearnwhatcancausemistakes.

Sowhatcancausemistakes?Whenwe’reinahurry,stressedout,tired,orjustnotpayingattention,there’sagoodchancewe’llslipup.Throughoutlife,therearetimeswhenweallowouremotionstotakeover,causingustomakemistakes.Forinstance,anangryorjealouspersonismuchmorelikelytomakeamistakethansomeonewhoisincontroloftheiremotions.Beingpridefulorhardheadedmightalsocauseustomakemistakes.

Keep in mind that there is a difference between making a mistake and

intentionally doing somethingwrong.Aswe look back on our own lives, ourpersonalhistoriesmightberiddledwithmiscues.Sometimes,wedidnotsetouttomakethosemistakes,butwemadethemnonetheless.

Mistakes,however,whenrepeatedoftenenough,canbecomemuchmorethanjustmistakes,asweareabouttolearn.

•Listbelowsomeofthethingsthatcancausemistakes.__________________________________

__________________________________

____________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________

2)Habits:FriendsorFoes?

Ourbrainsformamillionnewconnectionseverysecondofourlives.Itis

in these changing connections that memories are stored, personalities areshaped,andhabitsarelearned.

Habits, scientifically speaking, are chemical reactions that happen in thebrain,andtheyactuallychangethestructureofthebrain:

“Whatyouarethinkingrightnowcanactuallychangethechemicalcompositionofyourbraincellsandtherestofyourcentralnervous

system”(SchizophreniaBulletin,Vol.28,No.3,2002,p.553).

Ourbrainsrememberandautomatecertainactivitiesintohabitssothatitcanfreeitselfupforthinking;inthisway,thebrainbecomesmoreefficient.

Put simply, habits are our friendswhen they’re good; they are our enemieswhenthey’rebad.

Even thoughwearenot always in control of some of our habits,we cancontrolgoodhabits.Thesehabitsmight include such thingsasgoodhygiene,good sleep habits, punctuality, safe driving, good manners, eating healthy,properexercise,etc.It’simportantthatwemaintaingoodhabitssothatwecanlivehappy,healthylivesandtostayincontrolofourlives.

•Howmanynewconnectionsdoourbrainsform•everysecondofourlives?

•Whathappensinthesechangingconnections?

•Whatwearethinkingrightnowcanactuallydowhat?

•Arewealwaysawareofourhabits?Yes/No•Aretherehabitsthatwecancontrol?Yes/No•Ifso,listafew:

____________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________

•Isitimportanttomaintaingoodhabits?Yes/NoWhy?

3) Addictions: Just Bad Habits … Or SomethingWorse?

Addictionsaredividedintotwoclasses:substanceandbehavioral.There are many different types of substances to which we can become

addicted. These range from illegal drugs, such as methamphetamine andcocaine, to alcohol, cigarettes, and prescription narcotics. Even things likechocolateandsometypesofsodaareaddictive.

Onthebehavioralside,thereisawiderangeofthingswecanmention.Didyouknowthatbeingangryallthetimeisactuallyabehavioraladdiction?Whatelse?Apersonthatcontinuallygossipsorisalwaysjealousmightbeaddictedto those behaviors. Of course, obvious behavioral addictions include sex(including Internet pornography), gambling, overeating, texting, being acontrolfreak,andshopping.

•Whatisanaddiction?

•Whatarethetwoclassesofaddictions?1.____________________2.____________________

•Listsomepossibleaddictions:

SubstanceBehavioral________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

TenSignsofAddiction1. Spending excessive time in a certain behavior or in the use of a certain

substance2. Repeated failure with attempts to decrease time with a substance or

behavior3.Participationmorethanintended4.Lying,cheating,andhiding5.Disproportionateorexcessiveplanningregardingasubstanceorbehavior

6.Depressionandanxiety7.Failingoffamily,work,and/orschoolbecauseofasubstanceorbehavior8.Thetrade-offorgivingupofusefulactivities9.Adiminishingcapacitytoenjoyotherpleasure10.Withdrawalsymptomswhenusestops

TenSymptomsofWithdrawal

1.Physicalinconsistencies(fever,chills,etc.)2.Depressionordeepsadness3.Lossofdrive(desiretomakeplans,toengageinnormalactivities)4.Fatigue5.Cravings

6.Unabletoconcentrateoranincreasedinabilitytostayfocused7.Angerandaggression8.Insomnia9.Thoughtsofsuicide10.Restlessnessandanxiety

4)TheTruthAboutLies:HowBadDoTheyHurtUs?

Inthissection,wewilldefinewhattruthandliesare,whattheirrelationshipsto communication are, and why these ways of communicating with ourselvesandothersissoimportantinaddictionrecovery.

Youmight not realize it, but you actually communicatewith yourself far

morethanyoucommunicatewithothers.

Thecommunicationnetworkwithinthemindisverycomplex:Messagesgettransmitted in physical sensations, visual images, and by thought patterns. It’sthese thought patterns thatweneed to addresswhenwe’re talking about truthandlies.

Asmentionedearlier, scientistshavediscovered thatwhatwe thinkactually

changesthechemicalcompositionofourbraincellsandtherestofourcentralnervoussystem.

In other words, if we are continually thinking angry thoughts, we areteaching our brains to become angry brains. If we choose to dwell onviolence,ourbrainswillbecomeviolent-thinkingbrainsandwewillactviolent.

Thisiswhywhatwetellourselvesissoimportant.Ifwetellourselveslies,

wewillbelieve lies, so it is important that in this stepwe define very clearlywhattruthandliesareandwhattheirrolesareincommunicatingwithourselvesandwithothers.

•Whodowecommunicatemorewith,ourselvesorothers?

•Ifwearecontinuallythinkingangrythoughts,whatarewedoing?

•Ifwetellourselveslies,whatwillwebelieve?

Asweexploresomeofthethingsthatwemighttellourselvesundercertainconditionsofaddiction,wemustfirstsetsomesimpleboundaries.Wewillstartwith simple definitions of “truth” and “lies.” Our goal is not to becomephilosophical;ourgoalistoidentifybehaviorsasclearlyandsimplyaspossible.

It’s important thatweunderstandwhat truth is.Byknowingwhat truth is,

wecanidentifyanhonestpersonandwewillalsobeabletorecognizewhensomeoneislying.Knowingthedifferencebetweenthetruthandaliewillbeahuge determining factor onwhether or not someone can break free from theiraddictions.

It’sgreattobearoundsomeonethatweknowtellsthetruth—orthatevenif

wearen’tinthatperson’spresence,wecanstillhaveconfidenceinanythingtheydoorsay.Toputitsimply,theattributeofhonestyisagreatthingtohaveinone’scharacter.

Liesarebad formanydifferent reasons.Lieshurtandupsetpeople; they

causeconfusionanddivision;andultimatelytheendresultofliesisshame.One of the worst things that we can do to ourselves is to tell ourselves lies.Whenwetellourselvesthatweareworthless,orthatwedon’tneedhelp,weare lying toourselves.Wealsomustbewareof“inclusive”statements,suchas“I’llneveramounttoanything”or“I’mafailureateverythingIdo.”Thesecategorical statements are very dangerous because they influence the waywethink about ourselves. Last, but not least, there is the lie that gets us all intotrouble:“justthisonce.”

Therearetwomainreasonswhywelietoourselves.Thefirstreason,sortofa defensemechanism, is to lower our own expectations of ourselves. Thisgivesusanexcusenottotry,anditallowsfailuretobecomeacceptabletous.

Thesecondreason,oneofthebiggestliesanaddictwill tellhimself, is thatheisnotanaddict.Ifhesayshe’snotanaddict,hefeelsthereisnoreasontoaskforhelp.Thenextlie,“Idon’tneedanyhelp,”naturallyfollows,andyou

can’thelp someone thatbelieveshedoesn’tneedhelpbecausehewon’t allowyoutohelp.Remember,aswelearnedearlier, ifwetellourselveslies,wewillbelievelies,andthat’showweturnourbrainsintolyingbrains.

•Whatistruth?

•Whyisitimportantthatweunderstandwhattruthis?

•Whatisalie?

•Whyareliessobadforus?

•Dowelietoourselves?Yes/No•Whataresomeliesthatwemighttellourselves?

•Whydowelietoourselves?

Reason#1

Reason#2

Areyoureadytobehonestaboutyourconditionandyourbehavior?

•Pleasecircleoneandgivethereasonwhy:Yes/No

•••Identify•••

Listtheaddictionoraddictionsthatyouarestrugglingwith.Rememberbothcategories,substanceandbehavioral.

5)Choices:DoWeEvenHaveaChoice?

Didyouknowthatanaddiction,inonesense,canactuallytakeawayour

powerofchoice?Thesubstanceorbehaviortowhichweareaddictedforcesitsdemandsuponusandcausesustobeslavestoitand,therefore,overrulesourpowerofchoice.

When someone goes to the store to buy cigarettes,whomakes the choice?Him or his habit? The smoker has given himself over to that substance orbehavior.

Many times,wewill tell ourselves thatwewant tobe free touse a certainsubstance or engage in a certain behavior, but our freedom is lostwhen thatcertainsubstanceorbehaviortellsuswhenandwherewewillengageinit.

•Whathasouraddictionsdonetoourpowerofchoice?

•Howdoesitdothis?

•Whenisourfreedomlost?

Throughout thedaily routineof life,weare constantlymaking choices.Wechoosewhentogetupinthemorningandwhentogotobedatnight,whentoeatandwhattoeat.Whenwe’redriving,weevenchoosewhetherornotwearegoingtoobeythetrafficlaws.Chancesare,onanygivenday,wewillmakeboth good and bad choices.One of the goals of this program is to help uslearnhowtomakebetterchoices.

•Dowehaveachoice?Yes/No

Explain:

•Whatisoneofthegoalsofthisprogram?

•••Identify•••

Listsomeofthechoicesyouaremakinginyourliferightnow,bothgoodand

bad.

MygoodchoicesMybadchoices________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Areyoumakingsomebadchoices?Yes/NoIfso,doyouhavethedesiretostartmakingbetterchoices?Yes/NoWhy?

Doyouknowhowtostartmakingbetterchoices?Yes/NoExplain:

Listthebadhabitsoraddictionsthatyouareengagedinandthenwritedownallthereasonsthatyoudothem, thenallthereasonsthatyoushouldn’tdothem.It’snowtimetobehonestwithyourself:

Badhabitoraddiction:ThereasonsthatIdoitThereasonsthatIshouldn’t______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Badhabitoraddiction:ThereasonsthatIdoitThereasonsthatIshouldn’t

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Badhabitoraddiction:ThereasonsthatIdoitThereasonsthatIshouldn’t________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

LessonsfromLife

TheWaterFilter:MywifeandIliveonapieceof10-acrepropertythatmyfathergavetousafterhepassedaway.It’sabeautifulpieceofland,andwedon’t deserve it, but theLordhasblessedus andwe’revery thankful for that.Thispropertyhastwohomes:thehousethatSusanandIliveinandtheonethatmy father lived in before he passed away. We now rent that home out to awonderfulfamily.

They very rarely complain about anything, but every once in awhile their

waterpressurewillgetlowerandlower,andIwillgetacallwiththerequesttochangethewaterfilteratthewell.

This filter isquite largeandabithard toget tobecause it screws inupsidedown. It also requires a special wrench to remove the canister to replace thefilter.Thisneedstobedoneabouteverytwoorthreemonths,andit’snotajobthatIlookforwardtobecausethefiltercanisterissohardtoremove.Mostofthetime,IhavemyfriendJuanhelpme.Heisaverylargeman.Howlarge?Let’sjustsay,he’saverylargeman.

Well,ononeparticularoccasion,JuanandIbegantoattempttotakethefiltercanisteroff.Butit justwouldn’tcomeoff.Webeganputtingextensionsonthespecialwrenchandbeatingonthewrenchwithourfists.Ievenwentuptowntogetasecondwrench.ThiswasfrustratingbecauseIhadtobuyanentirelynewfilterassemblytogetthenewwrench.

Wethenputbothwrenchesonthecanisterandgothammersout.Itwouldturnalittlebitbutjustwouldn’tbreakloose.Finally,wegaveupforthedaybecauseweneededtoturnthewaterbackonforthefamily.Needlesstosay,Iwentbackhome discouraged, wondering what I was going to do to get that filter offwithouttotallyannihilatingit.

Then,thatevening,inthequietofthenight,astillsmallvoicetoldme:“Rich,look at your hand; it’s all bruised up, and you still haven’t got the filter off!Why?Becauseyou’returningthefiltercanisterthewrongdirection.”

HowfoolishdoyouthinkIfeltatthattime?TheLessonIsThis:Theroadtorecoverycanbeahumblingexperience.

Just likewith thewater filter, the last thingIwant todo isadmit toanyonethat Iamgoingabout things thewrongway.ThereasonIcouldn’t remove thefilterafterworkingonitfortwodayswasn’tforlackofeffort;itwasbecauseIwasfoolishlyturningitinthewrongdirection.

Wecanroundupallthehelpandallthetoolsthatwecanpossiblyfind,wecanevenbeatourselvesupandwearourselvesout,butlikethecanister,ifwe’reheadinginthewrongdirection,itdoesn’tmatterhowhardwetry—wewillnotsucceed.

At some point in our lives, we all reach a fork in the road, and it is so

important thatwe choose the right road: the road to recovery.Have you beengoing about things the wrong way? Have you been headed in the wrongdirection?Areyoutiredoffighting?Remember,thereareonlytwowaystodoanything:therightwayandthewrongway.6)Conclusion

Everyonemakesmistakesandbadchoices;that’swhatmakeslifesodifficult.

Butwhenwe’reabletoadmitthatwehaveaproblem,wearewellonourwaytotruefreedom.

Keepinmind,ouraddictionsaren’tjusta“weakness”orsomething“wejustneeda littlehelpwith.”AswehavelearnedinStep1, thechoiceswe’vebeenmaking in our lives have been actions controlled entirely by our addictions;therefore,wemustadmitthatwe’renotincontrolofourlives—andsomethingelseis.

This is what it means to be powerless. Powerless people don’t have anychoicebuttolettheiraddictionsorotherpeoplemaketheirchoicesforthem.

Whenwearenolongerrunningourlives,itmeansthat“somethingelse”is.That “something else” is making our decisions for us. It means that ouraddictionsarestrongerthanweare,andtheyareforcingtheirdemandsonus.Nomatter what it is—drugs, sex, money, gambling, alcohol, anger, resentment,procrastination—wemustadmitthatwearepowerlessoverit.

Aswe conclude this step, there are some serious questionswe need to askourselves:Arewereadytobecompletelyandtotallyhonestaboutourbehavior?Towhatextenthavetheresultsofourdecisionscausedharmtoothersandtous?Are we really serious about walking away from short-term pleasure andlongtermdestruction?Arewefinallytiredofhurtingotherpeople?Arewetrulytiredofhavingourpowerofchoicetakenawayfromusbyouraddictions?Areourlivesandthelivesofthosearoundusworthit?InowchoosetoacknowledgethatIhavehabitsinmylifethatarecontrollingme

andadmitthatsomeofthechoicesIhavemadeandammakingrightnowarenotgoodchoices.Ialsochoosetoadmitthat“myway”isn’tworking.

_______________________________________Signature

7)Step1Exercise

Drink plenty of water (8 glasses recommended per day) and go for a 45-minutewalkatleastonceaday(preferablytwiceaday).Getanaccountabilitypartner(samegenderasyou)andstartjournaling(seeintroductiononpage7).

WeeklyProgressChart

B

StepTwo

BegintoBelieveHavingadmittedthatmywayhasn’tworkedinthepastandwillnotworkinthefuture,Imustbegintobelievethatanotherway,abetterway,tofindfreedomis

availabletome.

eginningtobelievestartsawholenewwayofthinking;it’saprocess.Remember,foralongtime,weaddictsactuallybelieved“ourway”wasworking.Weneedtolookforanotherway,becausewenowunderstand

thatwehaveallowedouraddictionstotakeourpowerofchoiceawayfromus—andwewanttogetthatback.Wealsounderstandthatinthisareaofourlives,wearepowerlessandinneedofhelp.Webelievedinourselves,butwefailed.Nowwhat?

•Whyisitimportantthatwelookforanotherway?

1)TheRut:WhatIsIt,andHowDoWeBreakOutofIt?

Asachild,onyourwaytoschooloronyourwaytoafriend’shouse,didyoueverhaveafavoritepaththatyoutook—aroutewhere,perhaps,youcutacrosssomebody’s lawnoranopen field?Didyoualsonotice that,afterawhile, thegrassinthefieldbecameworn…andthatitbecamesowornthat,wheneveryouwent that way, you didn’t even have to think about where you were goinganymore—youjustfollowedthewornpath,therut,sotospeak?

This isverysimilar towhathappens inourbrains.Whenourbrains forma

habit, good or bad, the brain’s neurons fire in the same place over and overagain.Ifit’sagoodhabit,wecallitdiscipline.Butwhenit’sabadhabit,wewillsometimes describe it as being in a rut. To put it simply, our brains develop‘rutted’neuralpathways.

Whatarewereallysayingwhenwesaythatwearetryingtobreakoutofarut?Whyis itsohard tobreakoutof theseruts?Togetaclearerpicture, let’sexpandourillustration—let’susetheexampleofarutintheroad,apaththathasbeenformedbysometypeofvehiclethroughcontinueduse:

LessonsfromLife

Grandpa’sTruck:Mygrandfatherusedtoownadairyfarmandworkedveryhardtoearnaliving.Ialwaysgotexcitedwhenitcametimetowatchhimchangethemilkingmachinesorherdthecows.IcanevenrememberwhenI

helpedhimchangesprinklersinthepasture.Well,mostof thepickup trucksback thenhadacompoundgear thatwould

allow the truck to move forward very slowly, almost at a walking pace. Wecalleditthe“grannygear.”TherutsinthedirtroadthatcircledthepastureweresodeepthatGrandpawouldjustputtheold’57GMCpickupingrannygearandleavemebehind thewheelwhile he picked up the sprinkler pipe.Around thepasture,thetruckwouldgoatasnail’space,whileGrandpaloadedthepipeonthetruckwithmebehindthewheel.

At the time, I actually thought Iwasdriving the truck. Iwasnomore than

sevenyearsoldatthetime,andGrandpaknewthatnomatterhowhardItriedtopull thatsteeringwheel, therewasnowayIwasgoingtobreakthat truckfreefrom those ruts. I vividly remember those long straight-awayswhere I wouldwigglethatsteeringwheelfromlefttoright,grinningfromeartoear,actinglikeIwas steering thepickup.Ofcourse, any timea sharp turncameup,Grandpawasrighttheretohelpmenavigate.Assoonaswegottothegatetoheadbackouttothepavedroad,mydrivingjobwasover.

TheLessonIsThis:JustasIthoughtthatIwasactuallydrivingthetruckandincontrolofit,IlookbacknowandseethatIwasincontrolofnothing.

What controlled the truckwas thepath that it had takenalong for somanyyearsbefore.Thoserutsinthepasturewerewell-worn,andbeingayoungchild,I was powerless to steer that truck out of the grooves. The truckwas simplyfollowingthepathofleastresistance.

Thisisthewayitiswithourbrains:Onceweformahabit,whethergoodor

bad, the path that has been created by repeated neurons firing in our brainbecomesthepathofleastresistance.Ourbrainwillautomaticallynowfollowthis pathwhilewe perform other tasks.When the path of least resistance hasbecomeagoodhabitformedinourbrain,wearehappy,efficient,andeffective.

However,whenthepathbecomesabadhabit,wemustbreakoutoftherut.ButjustlikewhenIwasbehindthewheeloftheoldpickup,powerlesstosteeritout of the ruts by myself, we too, alone, don’t have the power to changeourselves either. To break free and take a path less traveled requiresan openmind,willingness,effort,andcourage.

•Onceweformahabit,whethergoodorbad,thepaththathas•beencreatedbyrepeatedfiringinourbrainiscalledwhat?

•Togetoutoftherutrequireswhat?

2)Powerless:WhoHasControl?

AswelearnedinStep1,someofthechoiceswe’vebeenmakinginourliveshave been choices controlled entirely by our addictions; therefore, we haveadmittedthatwe’renotincontrolofourlives—somethingelseis.Whatdoesitmeantobepowerless?

We’ve seen thatwehavenotbeeneffective in controllingour lives,and

we’ve learned that this is what it means to be powerless and that powerlesspeopledon’thaveanychoicebuttolettheiraddictionsorotherpeoplemaketheirchoicesforthem.

•Whathaveweseenthathasshownusthatwearepowerlessoverouraddictions?

•Powerlesspeopledon’thaveanychoicebuttodowhat?

•IunderstandthatIampowerlessovermyaddiction(s).Yes/No•ReferringbacktoStep1(page18),whatarethoseaddictions?

3)MyWayVs.AnotherWay:ICanChoosetoChoose.

AsIlookbackonmypast,itisabundantlyclearthat“myway”hasn’tworked.

ForalongtimeIactuallybelieved“myway”wasworking,butnowIunderstandthatIneedtofind“anotherway.”AsIlookforanotherway,there

aresomequestionsinmymindthatneedtobeanswered.

We like to know things with certainty; it’s part of our nature. As humanbeings, we don’t like doubt. This raises our first major questions about God:HowcanweknowthatGodisreal?DoesGodreallyhaveawayoutforus?Arewereadytolookforanswerstothesequestions?

It’sonlynaturaltobelieveinourselves.Butwesoonunderstandthatwe’vetried our very hardest but have failed, and that’s why we must look foranotherway.Soweeachaskourselves:

IsthereapoweroutsidemyselfthatisgreaterthanIam…apowerthatlovesmeunconditionally,evenwhenIcan’tlovemyself?Isthere

someonethatknowsmebetterthanIknowmyself?

Absolutely!HeiscalledGod,thecreatoroftheuniverse.WeneedtothinkofHim andHim alone as our solution. It might be hard to believe, butGodactually wants to re-create us in His own image—according to His plan.Godtrulywantstohelpus!

•Whymustwechoosetolookforanotherway?

•Ichoosetolookforanotherway.Yes/No

•Whocanwenowturntoforoursolution?

Why?

4)EvidenceofaWar:IsThereMoreGoingonThanMeetstheEye?

It was not God’s plan for you to become an addict. God would neverchoose to place a single one of His creatures into a life of dependency on

alcohol,drugs,oranysuchthing.Godisnottoblame.Rather,somethingelseisgoingon.

First,let’sconsiderthis:Whatisevidence?

Aswelookaroundtheworldtoday,moreandmoreweseeevidencethat,yes,

somethingquitedefinitely is goingon.We see clearly through ever-increasingevidencethatthereisaviolentwarbetweengoodandevilbeingwagedrightnow. We hear of young children being kidnapped, drive-by shootings, andcorruptionamongourleaders.Weaskourselves,whydopeopledothesethingsandwhatisitthat’sinfluencingthem?Itseemsthatnowadaysit’sevenhardtohold a family together. Yes, there’s definitely evidence that something else isgoingon,morethanmeetstheeye.

Weaskourselves:IfGodisagodoflove,whydoesHeallowthesethingstohappen?It’snotasimpleexplanation,butitdoesstartwithoneword:freedom.Yousee,fromtheverybeginning,GodhasdesiredlovefromallofHiscreatedbeings.

YetinorderforHimtoreceivereal,meaningfullovefromthem,theymusthave the freedom and ability to choose to return that love; otherwise, itwouldn’tbeloveatall.PeoplewouldserveHimbecausetheywereprogrammedtodoso,notbecauseoflove.

Unfortunately,withthatfreedomtochoose,weashumanbeingshavemadeitourtendencytochooseevilandfollowthedevil.Thisisthetypeofbehaviorthatbringsonalifeofaddictionanddependency.ItisnotGod’sactions.

Satan,thatfallenangelcalledthedevil,hasbeenrebellingagainstGodsincebeforetheworldbegan.Heisdoomedandwilleventuallybedestroyed,butwedon’thavetosharethatfate—fromnowon,wecanchooseGod.

•WasitGod’splanforyoutobecomeanaddict?Yes/No

•Isthereevidenceofawargoingonthatwecan’tsee?Yes/No

•Whatcanwedescribethewaras?

•InorderforGodtoreceivereal,meaningfullovefromthem,whatmustHiscreatureshave?

•Whatdoweashumanbeingshaveatendencytochoose?

LessonsfromLife

The Line in the Sand: Soon after my recovery from alcohol andmethamphetamine addiction, I was hired as a superintendent for a concretecontractor.(Whatweretheythinking?)Aftera fewyears, thecompanybecameverysuccessful,andatonepointIwasmanagingsixcrewsand40people.Thisinvolved dealingwith the emotions of a broad spectrum of people, anywherefromdrugaddictstochurchgoers.

IrecallaproblemthatIhadwithacertainforeman.Hewasaverygoodman,well-qualified,andIlikedhimalot;infact,hewasaverygoodfriend.Buthisproblemwasthathecouldn’tseemtoshowuptoworkontime.Itwouldhappenonceortwiceaweek.Iworkedwithhimandworkedwithhim.Ievenputbetter-qualifiedleadmenwithhimtohelphimovercomethisbadhabit.Theproblemwasthatthisbadhabitwasflowingdownhillfromhisforeman’sposition.Itwas

flowing to the workers that were under him. Animosity sprung up, and badthingswerebeingsaidabouthimandabouthowIwasrunningthecompany.

Iwarnedhimoverandoverthathisbehaviorwasgoingtocosthim;he’dlosethejobifhedidn’tgetittogether.Believeitornot,thiswentonfornearlythreeyears.IdideverythingIcouldforhim,evencoveringforhimattimes,knowingthat Iwas risking the harmony andwell-being of our company. Then the daycame when I got a call from the supervisor at a job we were working onwonderingwhere thismanwas.Aconcrete truckwas just sitting there,on thejobsite,andnoonewastheretopourit.

Thatwasit.Thelineinthesandwasdrawn,andIhadtodowhatIhadtodo;Itookhistruck,hisposition—Ilaidhimoffpermanently.TheLessonIsThis:Whodrewthelineinthesand?ItappearsonthesurfacethatIdrewthelineinthesandbecauseofthemeasuresthatItookagainsthim.However,thisisnotthecase;thismandrewthelineinthesandbyhisbehavior.Heknewwhattheconsequencesofhisactionswouldbeifhecontinuedinthatbehavior.

Likewise,GodhasdoneandisdoingeverythingHecanrightnowtohelpus.

Let’snotforceHishand.Goddoesn’tdrawthatlineinthesand—wedo.Whenweignoretheconsequencesofourchoices,Godistheretohelpusbypullingusoutofthosesituationsthataredestroyingus.That’sHisjob,andHeisverygoodatit.

The fact thatwe have chosen in the past to leaveGoddoesn’tmean thatGoddoesn’texistorthatHehasabandonedus.WearenotlockedoutofHis

presencebecauseofthethingswehavedone.Infact,ifwelookbackonearliertimesinourlivesandseeallthedangers,

close calls, and just plain frightening things that havehappened, it’s amiraclethatweareevenhere,engagedinaprogramthatwillquitepossiblychangeourlives forever.The simple fact thatwearehere today, searching for awayout,coulddefinitelybecountedasevidencethatGodisworkinginourlives.

•ThefactthatwehavechosentoleaveGodinthepastdoesn’tmeanwhat?

•Thesimplefactthatweareheretoday,searchingforawayout,canbecountedaswhat?

•••Identify•••CanyoulistanyevidencethatGodhasworkedinyourlifeinthepast?Yes/No

Explain:

5)KnowledgeandtheWorldAroundUs:WhoHoldsItAllTogether?

Haveyoueverwonderedwhatkeepstheplanetsinoursolarsystemmovinginsuchapreciseandaccuratepath?Orhowaboutwhyaflockofgeeseflyina“v”shape?

Whydosometreesgotosleepinthewintertimeandthenwakeupinspring?Whyaretheresomanydifferent,beautifulkindsofflowers?Isthereanywaytocount howmany different varieties of birds there are in theworld? (I’m suresomeone,somewhere,knows.)Andhowcouldthosebirdsbesocolorfulunlesssomeonehadahandindesigningthem?

Indeed,nature’scomplexityandorderisamazingevidenceofGod’spresence.ScientistsofourdayareconstantlytryingtogainknowledgeofGod’screation;infact,humanityhasalwaysbeenthatway,continuallyseekingtolearn.

WhatDoesItMean“ToKnow?”

It seems that now,more than ever, with technology theway it is, we gain

knowledgebyleapsandbounds.Notonlyarewenowlookingattheinnermostworkings of the most complex cell in the human body with electronmicroscopes,wehavealsoplacedamassive,long-distancemagnifyingglassin

outerspace,calledtheHubbleSpaceTelescope,tolookatworldsunknown,allinanefforttogainknowledgeofthingsaroundus.

Aswestudythesethings,wearecontinuallyfindingouthowlittlewereallydoknowaboutourincredibleuniverseandevenourimmediateenvironment.Wedon’t teachoursurroundings;oursurroundings teachus.Allof theknowledgegained from the study of the world around us convinces us that there issomeonefargreaterinwisdomandcreativepowerthanourselves.

What would it hurt then for us to make a decision to get to know thissomeone,calledGod,better?Whenyouthinkaboutit,whoknowsusbetterthantheonewhocreatedus, andwhatbetter time thannowtogainknowledgeofHim so that we can learnmore about ourselves and how tomake betterchoices?

•Whatdoesitmeantoknow?

•WhydidscientistsdeveloptheelectronmicroscopeandplacetheHubbleSpaceTelescopeinouterspace?

•Knowledgegainedfromthestudyoftheworldaroundusconvincesusofwhat?

•Whoknowsusbest?

WhywoulditbegoodtogainknowledgeofHim?

•••Identify•••WhatevidenceforGoddoyounoticeintheworldaroundyou,suchasnature,etc.?6) Logic and Decisions: Can We Ever Learn to BePractical?

Aswelookbackatsomeof thedecisionswe’vemadein thepast,wemustagreethatsomeofthemwerenotverylogical.Infact, ifweweretobetotallyhonestwithourselves,manyofthosedecisionsgotusintoalotoftrouble.Aswelearn what causes bad decisions to be made, we will also learn how to slowdown and take the time to use logic to make some very important decisionsregardingourrecovery.Whatislogic?

Ifyouhaveevermadeadecisionbasedonanger,jealousy,orfrustration,

chancesarethedecisionwasabadone.Wecan,however,makechoicesbasedonlogicandreason.IfGodisrealandlovesusandwantsonlythebestforus,wouldn’t it be logical to write down some of the possible things that couldhappen inour lives ifwewere to choose tobelieve inGod—and thepossibleoutcomesifwechoosenottobelieveinGod?

The possible outcomes of believing in God are very thought-provoking.Thinkaboutwhatitwouldbeliketohaveabetterpositiveoutlookonlifeortobeabletoaskforhelpinatimeofneed.Justimagine:gettingmuchhealthier,havingheaventolookforwardto,and,ofcourse,lookingforwardtofreedomfromouraddictions.Thesearejustafewofthepossibilities.

On the other hand, looking forward to a possibility of a life stuck in our

addictions,badhealth,a lackofoutsidehelp in timeofneed,andnohope,especiallyafterdeath,doesnotlooklikemuchofanattractiveoptionforus.

•Whatislogic?

•Whatcancausebaddecisionstobemade?

•Whatshouldweusetomakegooddecisions?

•WritedownsomeofthethingsthatcouldhappeninourlivesifweweretochoosetobelieveinGod—andpossibleoutcomesifwechoosenottobelieveinGod.

BelievinginGodNotbelievinginGod____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

7) Belief and Acceptance:Does God Really Want toHelpMe?

Therecomesa time inour liveswhenweneed tomakeadecision.ArewegoingtobegintobelieveandtrustinwhatGodsays?Thetimeforthatdecisionisnow.Notbecauseit justmightbeanotherwayout,butbecauseit’s theonlywayoutofouraddictions.HowdoweknowthatGodwantstohelpus?Well,ifweaskGodwhatHehastosayaboutit,Hewilltellus;infact,HesayssointhefollowingBibletext:

“IamtheLordyourGod;Istrengthenyouandtellyou,‘Donotbeafraid;Iwillhelpyou’”(Isaiah41:13GNB).

Whatdoesitmeantobelieve?

Aswe’veseenbefore,Godwantstore-createusinHisownimage,andwe’veused logic and reason to determinewhether or notwe should even believe inGod.Wehavealsoseenthatwehavenotbeeneffectiveincontrollingourlives;eventhoughwehavetriedourveryhardest,wehavefailed.

Sonowit’stimetodecidewhetherornotwearegoingtogiveGodachance,if we are going to accept Him as true and real, and after looking over theevidence,areweconfidentthatHeistrustworthy.

•Theword“believe”inthisstepcarriestwodefinitions.Whatarethey?

1.

2.

•AreyouwillingtoapplythesetwodefinitionstoyourrelationshipwithGod?Yes/No

8)Conclusion

WehavelearnedinSteps1and2thatwehavebeencreatedwithfreedomofchoiceandthatwecannowchooseeachdaytobelieveinGod.Wealsolearnedthat “our way” is what has kept us in our addictions and that God wants torestoreusandourlivesbacktosanity.

God’s ways are different than ours. In order to know God, we first mustbelieve thatHeis.Welike tosay,“Letmesee it,andthenI’llbelieve it.”ButGodsays,“Believeit,andthenI’llletyouseeit.”Imustbegin tobelieve that this is theonlywayoutofmydilemma. Imust

remember that Ihavebeencreatedwith freedomofchoiceand that IcannowchooseeachdaytobelieveinGod.Yes/No

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Signature

9)Step2Exercise

AskGodforhelpasmanytimesadayasyouneed,butatleastthreetimesaday.Keepwalkingandkeepdrinkinglotsofwater.

WeeklyProgressChart

G

StepThree

CompleteControlNowthatIhavebeguntobelieveinGod,Imustaskmyself:“AmIwillingtogiveHimcompletecontrolofmylife?”AmIreadytoputthatbeliefintoaction?AmItiredoffightingthingsonmyown?DoIreallywanthelp?

1)Freewill:WhatExactlyDoesItMean?

odalwayshasourwell-beinginmind,andHedoesn’taskustogiveupanythingthatwouldbeinourbestinteresttokeep.Healsoknowsthatthepathofaddiction isadesolateand lonelyone filledwithmiseryand

destruction.ItdoesnotpleaseGodtoseeHischildrensuffer.Hewantstoputallofusonapathfullofjoy.

SohowdoIfindthispathofjoy?HowdoIsurrendermyselftoGod?AllthepromisesI’vemadeaboutmyaddictiontoothersandmyselfhavefailed.

Becauseweknowallaboutourbrokenpromisesinthepast toquitortodobetter,wealreadyhavelittleconfidenceinourownsincerity.WefeellikeGodwillnotacceptusbecausewehavebeensountrustworthy.ButIwillnotdespair—Godhasgivenmeawill,andIwillexercisethatwill

withHispower.

•DoesGodaskustogiveupanythingthatwouldbeinourbestinteresttokeep?Yes/No

•WhatisitthatdoesnotpleaseGod?

•WhathasGodgivenusthatwemayexercise?

LearningStatement“Wemustunderstandthetrueforceofthewill—thegoverningpowerofthemindineveryperson,thepowerofchoice”(MinistryofHealing,p.176).

This power to decide, it is a liberty thatGodhas given to us, and it is our

privilegetoexercisethatfreedom.Ourworldwouldnotbefree,andwewouldnotbefreeasindividuals,ifwedidnothavethepowertochoose.Godhasgiveneachofusamindsothatwecanthinkthingsthroughanduseourwilltomake,andfollowthroughon,gooddecisions.WemustnowlearnhowtoexerciseourwillsonthesideofGod.

•Whatdowefindisthetrueforceofthewill?

2)TheBigThree:WhatAreThey,andHowDoTheyAffectMyDecisions?

As far as addictions go, there are three things that drive what we do andinfluenceourchoices:like,want,andneed.

Forinstance,welikefood,wewantfood,andweneedfood.Sometimeswelikesomethingandwantitbutreallydon’tneedit;however,

weconditionourselvestoneedit.Wecanevenconvinceourselvesthatweneedsomething when we know it will destroy us. Then once we decide that we“need”it,thethoughtofourdestructionbecomesnolongerimportanttous,oroutofnecessity,wewillactuallymakeourselvesbelieve thatwearenotdestroyingourselves.

Here’swheretheproperexerciseofthewillcomesin.Wemustfirstchoosetobehonestaboutthebigthree—andnotlietoourselves.

•Whatthreethingswillinfluenceourchoices?

1.2.3.

•Whatisthedangerinconvincingourselvesthatweneedacertainthing?

Or

•••Identify•••First,listyouraddictionoraddictions,andthenanswerthethreequestionsbelowthem.Remembertobehonest!

Addiction___________________________________DoILikeit?Yes/NoDoIWantit?Yes/NoDoINeedit?Yes/NoAddiction___________________________________DoILikeit?Yes/NoDoIWantit?Yes/NoDoINeedit?Yes/NoAddiction___________________________________DoILikeit?Yes/NoDoIWantit?Yes/NoDoINeedit?Yes/No

WhathaveIlearnedfromthisexercise?

LearningStatement

“Wecannotchangeourhearts;wecannotcontrolourthoughts,ourimpulses,ouraffections.…Butwecanchooseto…giveHimourwill;thenHewillworkin

us”(MinistryofHealing,p.176).

•IfwechoosetogiveGodourwill,whatwillHethendo?

•IbelievethatGodhascreatedmewiththefreedomtochooseandthatIcanchoosetogiveHimmywill.Yes/No

3)Trust:WhoseBusinessIsItAnyway?

WhenweaskGodforhelpand trust inHim, itnowbecomesHisbusiness.

This means He will work for us and in us, and He will help us with thosedifficultchoicesinourrecoverythatwemustmake.

Wethoughtforaverylongtimethatwe’dbeenincontrolofourlives,butwereallyweren’t.Wethoughtwehadthestrengthtoovercomeonourown,butwedidn’t.WhenwetrustinGod,wenowmakeourrecoveryHisbusiness.Whatistrust?

IfweputourtrustinGod,Hewillcomethroughforus.Hewillguideusand

directus.Howdoweknowthis?WecanaskHimbysimplyreadingHisWord,andHisWordwilltellus.“TrustintheLordwithallyourheart,Andleannotonyourownunderstanding;inallyourwaysacknowledgeHim,AndHeshalldirectyourpaths”(Proverbs

3:5,6NKJV).

Theoldbehavioroftrustingourownjudgmentandrelyingonourselvesmust change.Wemust be willing to do this because our lives depend on it.Turningone’slifeovertothecareofGodisachoicethatmustbemadeeverydayand,quitepossibly,minutebyminute.

LearningStatement

“‘HowamItomakethesurrenderofmyselftoGod?’YoudesiretogiveyourselftoHim,butyouareweakinmoralpower,inslaverytodoubt,andcontrolledbythehabitsofyourlife.…Yourpromisesandresolutionsarelikeropesofsand”(StepstoChrist,p.47).

Like thequoteabovesays,ourpromisesare likeropesofsand—they fall

apart throughour fingers.Soweneed to trust someone else.Wemust believewhatGodsaysinProverbs3:5(above)andnowputourbeliefsintoaction;wemustnowtrustGodwitheverydecision.Thiswillrequiresomenewhabitsand serious effort on our part. It’s an old saying, but it is still so true:Recoveryissimple,butit’snoteasy.

•Whatistrust?

•WhatdoesProverbssayabouthowmuchwearesupposedtotrustGod?

•Whatisoldbehaviorinregardstotrust?

•Whatareourpromiseslike?

•HowmanyofourdecisionsarewetotrustGodwith?

•Whatwillthisrequireonourpart?

4)Mindset:CanITakeaNewOneOn?

Fromnowonwemusttakeonanewmindset,amindsetthatsays,“Heleads,

notme.”It’snowHisbattle,notours.Whatisamindset?

“Forashethinksinhisheart,soishe”(Proverbs23:7NKJV).

HereisGod’spromise:“YouwillseekMeandfindMe,whenyousearchfor

Mewithallyourheart”(Jeremiah29:13NKJV).ThewholeheartmustbegiventoGod. In order to have our nature renewed, in order to begin the process oftransformation, we must take on this new mindset of giving ourselvescompletelytoHim.

SurrenderingalltothewillofGodinvolvesastruggle,butwemustsubmittoHimbeforewecanbetransformed.HeyearnsforustogiveourselvestoHim.HeiseagertoworkHiswillinus,butwemustchoosewhetherornotwewillbesetfreefromthebondageofouraddictions.

•Whatisamindset?

•Whatnewmindsetmustwenowtakeon?

•WhatdoesGodyearnfor?

•Iamnowreadytotakeonanewmindset.Yes/No

5)Surrender:DoesItReallyMeanGiveUp?

Whenweheartheword“surrender,”weoftengetamentalpictureofasoldier

waving a white flag. He’s been captured by the enemy, and his life is over.However,thatdescriptiondoesnotfitthedefinitionofwhat“surrender”meansin recovery. In fact, it’s the exact opposite—by surrendering, we are actuallybeingfreedfromtheenemy.

Whataretwodifferentdefinitionsofsurrender?

It is important that we understand the difference between these two

definitions,becausetheyarediametricallyopposedtooneanother.On one hand, if we are yielding to temptation or emotion for the sake of

gratifyingself,thatisoldbehavior,thatisaddiction,thebehaviorthatwearetryingtowalkawayfrom,thegivingofourselvesovertoacertainsubstanceorbehaviorthatinthelongrunwillhurtusand,quitepossibly,manyothers.

However, if we are relinquishing control to someone or something forhealing purposes, that is recovery. And, of course, we’ve learned that this

something or someone isGod. This is the new behavior thatwemust openlyembraceinorderforustogetwell.

•Whichdefinitionoftheword“surrender”isoldbehavior?

Whyandwhatisthisbehavior?

•Whichdefinitionofthewordsurrenderisnewbehavior?

Whyandwhatisthisbehavior?

(Note:Theword“surrender”inthiscasedoesn’tmean“togiveup.”Itmeans“togiveover.”)

•Iamreadytoexercisemyfreewillandto“givemylifeover”tothecareofGod.Yes/No

Irealizethatthiswon’tbeeasyandthattheresultsmightnotbeimmediate;nevertheless,thisismydecision:Ichooselife

overdeath!

ByallowingGodtoworkinustodoaccordingtoHisgoodpleasure,ourlives

canbebroughtunderthecontrolofHisSpirit.“LetmelivethatImightpraiseyou.…Ihavestrayedlikealostsheep”(Psalms119:175,176NIV).6)ExercisestoStrengthentheWill:MoretoDo?

Believe it or not, our minds need exercise—just like our bodies do. If we

don’tuseourbody’smuscles,theywillshrivelupandgetweak.Ourbrainisthesameway;itneedsexercisesothatwecangetandremainmentallyfit.

Many times in life, whatwe feel like doing orwhatwewant to do is notalways the same thing as what we should do.Wemight not always feel likegettingour exercise for thedayor drinking the right amount ofwater, butweknowthatinourrecoveryit’stherightthingtodo.Butjustknowingwhat’srightandwrongisnotenougheither;westillmustactonit.

The following exercises will help strengthen our will so that we can bepreparedtotakeactionaswemakebetterdecisions.It’snotnecessarytotakeontheentirelistallatonce.Justbeginwithoneortwoexercisesandprogressfromthere.

1)AskGodtostrengthenyourwillandtoconnectyourwillwithHis.

2)Gethealthywithgoodfood,exercise,andrest.(SeeStep4,DD.)3)Operateyourlifebyplan,noturge.Makethisahabit.4)Completeeachtaskbeforeyoubeginanother.5)Everyday,dosomethingthatneedstobedonethatyoudon’treallywanttodo.6)Planwhentogetupinthemorning,setyouralarm,andthendoit.(Thisworksbestifit’sthesametimeeveryday.)7)Practiceself-control.Practicedenyingyourselftreatsthatyouwouldnormallyhave.

(Note:Ifyouarealreadyperformingsomeoftheseexercises,goaheadandwritethemdownanyway;thiswillhelpyoubetterchartyourdevelopment.)

•••Identify•••

Oftheabovesevenexercisesthatcanbedonetostrengthenthewill,whichonesdoyouchoosetobeginincorporatingintoyourlife?

LessonsfromLife

TheDucks: I mentioned earlier in another lesson the 10-acre piece ofpropertythatmywifeandI liveonjustoutsideofLincoln,California.IthasaseasonalcreekthatflowsthroughitfromaboutNovemberuntilJuneeveryyear.

Eachyear,duckscometomateandraisetheiryounginthelittlepondthatIbuilt on the creek. They’re very fun towatch, and things usually gowell forthemduringtheirmatingritualsandastheyraisetheirlittleones—unlessthereisanunusuallylowamountofrainfallforthatyear.Ifthathappens,thepondcanrun dry and it becomes very difficult for the mothers to raise their littleducklings.Thatwasthecaseafewyearsago.

Thatyear,amallardhenhadaboutsixducklings;shewastryingtoraisethemin this little puddle of muddy water where the pond was supposed to be. Iactually installed a pipe to the pond frommywater supply to supplement thepondandkeepsomewaterinituntiltheduckswereoldenoughtoleave.Itwassodry thatyear thateven theearlyspringgrasswasalreadybrown, therewasdusteverywhere,anditwashardtokeepwaterinthepondwithoutrunningthewatercontinuously.

OneeveningIwalkedovertocheckthepondtoseeifthewaterneededtobeturned on. It was late—just at dusk. Unfortunately, I didn’t realize that themotherwasstill therewithherducklings,andIspookedher.Sheflewoff intothe night, and the little ducklings scattered into field. Theywent everywhichway,chirpingfortheirmotherastheywanderedintothetallbrowngrass.

Iwentintothehouseandwaitedforthemothertocomeback.Anhourwentby,andIbecameveryworried.Finally,shereturnedinthedarknessandbegantryingtogatherupherducklings.Iheardherquackingallthroughthenight,andwhenIlookedoutthewindowinthemorning,shewasstillwanderingthefieldlookingforherducklings,buttherewerenone.Shealsolookedalldaythenextday, and all through the next night, but to the best ofmyknowledge, she lostthem all. I felt so bad, but therewas nothing I could do but learn a valuablelesson.TheLessonIsThis:Justasthismotherhenwasthesourceoflifeforherlittleducklings,Godisoursourceoflife.

And just as itwas easy forme to separate those little ducklings from theirsourceof life, it iseasyforus togetseparatedfromoursourceof life.It issoimportant when turning our lives over to the care of God that we don’t getseparated.Wedon’thaveanybetterchanceatsurvivingwithoutGodthanthoselittleducklingscouldsurvivewithouttheirmother.7)Conclusion

We have learned that we now must trust God with our every decision bytakingonanewmindsetandgivingourselvescompletelytoHim.Wemustyieldtobehealed,butthisdoesn’tmeanthatweyieldtostrongemotionortemptation;rather,wesurrendertoGodforhealingpurposes.

Theoldbehavior of trustingour own judgment and relyingonourselves is

whatgotusintotroubleinthefirstplace.Inthisstep,welearnedthedifficultbutrewardingtaskofgivingGodcompletecontrolofourlives.

•Iwillyieldtobehealed.InowchoosetogiveGodcompletecontrolofmylife.

_______________________________________Signature

8)Step3ExerciseMemorizethistext:

“TrustintheLordwithallyourheart,Andleannotonyourownunderstanding;inallyourwaysacknowledgeHim,And

Heshalldirectyourpaths”(Proverbs3:5,6NKJV).

Also,keepaskingGodforhelpasmanytimesadayasyouneed,butatleast

three times a day. Keep walking and keep drinking lots of water. Begin toincorporate thewill strengthening exercises (above) into your life andbegin adailydevotionatthesametimeeverymorning.

WeeklyProgressChart

I

StepFour

DifferentDirection

NotonlyamIbecomingdifferentandgettingintoadifferentvehiclewithadifferentdriver,Iamalsoonadifferentroadgoingina

differentdirectionwithdifferentpeople.

1)BecomingaNewCreature:CanYouSay“Change”?

fyou’rehuman,chancesareyoudon’tlikechange.Mostofusdon’t.Mostofus associate changewith fear of the unknown or with stepping out of ourcomfortzones.Onethingthatwemustrememberaboutourrecoveryis that it isaprocess.

Changedoesn’thappenovernight.Thefixisnotaquickone,becausemostofushavebeeninouraddictionsforalongtime.Itwouldbenicejust tobeabletoflipaswitchandinstantlybemadewell,butrecoverydoesn’tusuallyworkthatway.

Yes,thesayingistrue:“Nopain,nogain.”

IfanyoneisinChrist,heisanewcreation;oldthingshave

passedaway;behold,allthingshavebecomenew(2Corinthians5:17NKJV).

The above text says that the “old things have passed away” and that “all

thingshavebecomenew.”That’sgoodnews.Butwhatdoesitmean?

Whenwewereinouraddictions,chancesarethatwedealtwithevents,goodorbad, that came along in our daily lives by doing one of or both of these twothings:runningandself-medication.

Inactuality,runningisself-medicationandself-medicationisrunning.Inotherwords,ifsomethinggoodcamealonginourlives,wedidn’tknowhowtorespond to it so we ran from it by medicating ourselves with our addiction,whether the addiction was a substance or a behavior. If something bad camealong in our lives, we didn’t know how to respond to it either, so we self-medicatedalso.

Medicating ourselves with our addictions is how we run from a problemwithoutactuallygettingawayfromitgeographically.Livinglifeonlife’stermsinthebeginningofrecoverycanbedifficultforanaddict,becausehenowhasto learnhow to turn to somethingelseother thanhisaddiction. Insteadofrunning away from God and away from our problems, we now head in adifferentdirection:WenowlooktoGodandallowHimtohelpusdealwithourproblems,freefromouraddiction.Thisishowallthingsbecomenew.

•Typically,howdoesanaddictdealwithlife,boththegoodtimesand

badtimes?

•Inwhatwaycanthebeginningofrecoveryforanaddictbedifficult?

•Howwill“allthingsbecomenew”?

2)Influences:HowManyKindsAreThere?

In addiction recovery, and in life in general, there are only two kinds of

influences:goodandbad.Forthemostpart, thereisnomiddleground;peoplewilleitherhaveagoodinfluenceonusorabadinfluenceonus.

Mostofthetime,it’snothardtotellwherethebadinfluencesareinourlives;however,ifthereareanyquestionsatallabouthowsomethinginfluencesyou,it

isbesttodiscussitwithamemberofyourrecoverygrouporyouraccountabilitypartner.

Whatisaninfluence?

Now that we have allowed God’s influence to enter our lives, we cannot

allowotherinfluencestoalterthedirectionthatGodhasmappedoutforus.This means we absolutely must leave the old places where we played, andhoweverpossible,getnewplaymatesandevensomenewplaythings.

Fromnowon,weneed to concentrateon takingcareofourselves, and this

canonlyhappenifwewalkawayfromthebad influences inour lives.Thiscanbeveryhardtodo,andonthesurfaceitmightevensoundalittleselfish.Butwewon’tbeabletohelpanyonelaterondowntheroadifwedon’tconcentrateongettingwellourselvesnow.

Ifyou’veeverbeenonanairplaneandheardtheinstructionsfromtheflightattendant onwhat to dowhen the oxygenmasks drop from the ceiling in theeventofemergency,youprobablyrecallthatyouwerealwaysinstructedtoputtheoxygenmaskonyourselffirstandthenhelpsomeoneelsegethisorherson.

Thisis thewayit is inrecovery,sonowwemustdowhateverittakestogetwell.

•Nowthatwe’veallowedGod’sinfluencetoenterourlives,whatisitthatwecannotallow?

•Whatthreethingsmustchange?

•Takingcareofourselvescanonlyhappenwhenwedowhat?

•Whatmustwedotogetwell?

•••Identify•••

Old(Thingsthatmustchange)

PeoplePlacesThings________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

New(Goodinfluencesinyourlifenow)

PeoplePlacesThings________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Ichooseeachdaytherightpeople,places,andthingsinmylife.Yes/No

3)Thoughts:JustHowPowerfulAreThey?

Our predominant thoughts influence our behaviors and attitudes, and they

controlouractionsandreactions.Asourthoughtsare,soareourlives.Itworksthisway:Rightthoughtswillleadtorightactions,rightactionswill

leadtorighthabits,righthabitswillformarightcharacter,andarightcharacteriswhatmakespeoplerightwithGodandhelpsthemgetalongwiththepeoplearoundthem.

Sowhatisathought?

Some people have a tendency to think on negative things and to dwell on

them.Thisisnothealthy.Theonlywaytochangeournegativetendenciesisbypositiveaction:

“Whateverthingsaretrue,whateverthingsarenoble,whateverthingsarejust,whateverthingsarepure,whateverthingsarelovely,whateverthingsareofgoodreport…thinkonthese

things”(Philippians4:8KJV).

Each evening, write down a Bible verse on a small card. Read it the next

morningandtakeitwithyouwhereveryougothatday.Readitoften,andevenshare it with others. When something negative or troubling comes into yourmind, get this card out and read it.Do not underestimate the power ofGod’sWordandwhatitcandoforyou.

Wehavetobeginthepracticeofrightthinkingonrightthings,andthisisa

simple exercise thatwill help us do that.Here are some greatBible verses tostartwith:

•Psalm118:6•Philippians4:13

•Isaiah40:31•Philippians1:6

•Jeremiah29:11–13•2Corinthians12:9

LessonsfromLife

TheTurkey:My recovery frommethamphetamine, cocaine, and alcoholaddictionhasnotbeenallpeachesandcream.Needless to say, thegood timeshave far outweighed the bad, but there are still timeswhen I battlewith deepsadnessanddepression.

Thishappensbecauseofthebraindamagethatwascausedbythedrugs.Now,thesebouts of depressionhavebecome shorter, fewer, and farther apart as theyearshavepassed,buttherewasonetimeinmylifewhenIexperiencedabouttwoweeksofdeepsadness.Ijustcouldn’tseemtopulloutofit.IwaspleadingwithGod,askingHimtomakeitallgoaway—butitwouldn’tgoaway.

Thenithappened:OnedayIwasinthebarnfeedingthecowswhenIheardthisterriblebangingnoise.Itwouldbangrepeatedlyforfivetimesorso…andthensuddenlystop.Thishappenedoverandover.Ithought,Whatintheworldisthat?

AsIpeekedaroundtheedgeofthebarndoortoseewhatitwas,Inoticedaturkeypeckingawayatthechromebumperonmytruck.Theturkeywouldwalkbythebumper,lookstraightatit,andbeginpeckingatit.Ithought,Whatabird-brain!

But as I looked closer, I saw what the turkey was doing. Every time hewalkedbythebumper,hesawhisownreflectionandattackedit.Thishappenedoverandoverandover,anditmighthavegoonalldayhadInotcomearoundthe corner to run him off, quite possibly saving him from beating himself todeath by smashing his head into this huge piece of metal. Then it hit me: IrealizedwhatmyproblemwasandwhyIwassodepressed.

TheLessonIsThis: Every time the turkey walked by that truck, helooked in the bumper and saw a reflection of himself.He didn’t likewhat hesaw,sohebeganpeckingathimself.IrealizedthatthisiswhatIhadbeendoingtomyselfforthepasttwoweeks.

Yousee,IwascontinuingtodwelloneveryterriblethingthatIhaddoneinthe past and how bad of a person I was—I was pecking myself to death!Throughthisexperience,theLordrevealedtomethatifIwasgoingtosucceedinmyrecovery, Ineeded tokeepmyeyesonHim.Whenwebegin lookingatourselvestoomuchandtakeoureyesoffJesus,thesourceofourhealing,wecanbecomediscouraged,dejected, anddepressed, and just like the turkey,wewillliterallypeckourselvestodeath.

•••Identify•••

Listsomegoodthingsinyourlifethatyoucanchoosetothinkabout:

4)Prayer:TheBreathoftheSoul

A sincere prayer has real power behind it; it produces results.We have tobelievethiswhenwepray!Why?Godknowsourmindsandhearts,sowhynottalktoHimasifHealreadyknowsthesituation?

Whatisaprayer?

Simplyput:PrayerisconversationwithGodaswithafriend.Andbelieve

itornot,Heactuallyisourfriend!Keepinmind,however,thatprayerdoesnotbringGoddowntoourlevel;ithelpsusascendtoHis.

WecanthinkofGodasadoctorwhoisoncall24hoursaday,adoctorwhoknows our condition very well and is ready to help us with any physical or

spiritualneed thatwemighthave.Godunderstandsexactlywhatwearegoingthrough.

LearningStatement

“TheLordisacquaintedwithyoursituation.NothingescapesHisnotice.Hewillhearyourprayers;forHeisaprayer-

hearingandaprayer-answeringGod.PutyourtrustinHim,andHewillcertainlybringrelief,inHisownway”

(Evangelism,p.392).

•Whatisprayer?

•WhatareGod’sofficehours?

•Godistwothingswhenitcomestoprayer;whatarethey?

_______________________and_______________________

Wheninprayer,focusonthepositive.Don’tdwellonthenegative.Dwelling

on the negative keeps that part of the brain active; when the negative part isactive,thepositivepartofthebrainisn’tactive.

Instead,praymore for thenewhabits that youwantGod tohelpyou tocreateinplaceofyourbadones.Whatdoesitmeantobepositive?

Prayconfident,positiveprayers, thankingGod for thechangesoccurring in

your life. Look back in your journal and reflect on all the constructive andpositivethingsthathavebeenhappeninginyourlife.

•Whenthenegativepartofthebrainisactive,whatpartofthebrainisn’tactive?

•Whenpraying,whatarewetopraymorefor?

•••Identify•••Whataresomeofthepositivechangestakingplaceinyourlife?

WhataresomenewhabitsthatyouwillbeprayingforGodtocreateinyourlife?

(Note:Seemoreaboutprayeronpage75.)5) The Brain and the Body: How Much Are TheyConnected?

OurmindsandourbodiesarebothgiftsfromGod,andtheyareverycloselyrelated.Howwefeelphysicallywillimpacthowwefeelmentally.Everythingisrelated.Wecan’tneglectourbodieswithoutexpectingthatneglecttoimpactourminds.

LearningStatement

“Thebodyistheonlymediumthroughwhichthemindandthesoularedevelopedfortheupbuildingofcharacter”

(MinistryofHealing,p.130).

“Don’tyouknowthatyouyourselvesareGod’stempleandthatGod’sSpiritlivesinyou?”(1Corinthians3:16NIV).

ThinkingofourbodiesasthedwellingplaceofGod’sSpiritmightbeanew

wayofthinking,butifwedesireit,wemustalsochoosetogivetheHolySpiritawelcomehomewithahealthydietandplentyofwaterandexercise.

Alwaysrememberthatahealthierbodymeansahealthiermind.Andyourhealthy mind is where God wants to dwell. He knows what we’ve done toourselvesphysicallyandmentally,sonotonlydoesHewantustogethealthysothatwecanfeelbetter,Hewantsustogethealthysowecanthinkbetter.Hesimplywantsustorecovertheabilitytothinkstraight.

•Whatareourbodiesthedwellingplaceof?

•Whatdoesahealthierbodymean?

•WhydoesGodwantustogethealthy?

So commit yourself to these eight healthy practices: fresh air, sunlight,

self-control,rest,exercise,properdiet,theuseofwater,andtrustinGod.This is a very simple list of things thatwe can take in and practice in our

everydaylives.Andjustthink—it’sallvery,veryinexpensive!

•••Identify•••

Oftheaboveeightpracticesthatyoucandotoimproveyourhealth,whatdo

youneedtoaddtoyourlifetobecomehealthier?Howwillyoudothem?

LessonsfromLifeThe New Overpass: My wife has been employed by a ChristianministrycalledAmazingFactsformanyyears.Theministry’soffice is locatedonaroadcalledSunsetBoulevardinRocklin,California.

Atone timemyofficewas located very near toAmazingFacts, just off ofSunset actually. For quite some time, I had driven the same routewhenever Ipicked up my wife for lunch from her work, about three times a week, orwheneverIstoppedatheroffice.

Now there is an intersection between those two offices, Highway 65 andSunsetBoulevard,thathadbeenexactlythesame,untouchedbyconstructionordetours,sincebeforewebothworkedinthatarea.Infact,wehavealwaysdriventowork exactly the sameway—anddrivenhome fromworkexactly the sameway—everydayforalmostadecade.

However,oneday the statedecided toconstruct anew typeof intersection,buildingSunsetBoulevardasanoverpassoverHighway65.Today,thereisnolongerastoplight,whichhadbeenthereaslongasIcanremember.

Whentheyfinishedup theproject, theyrerouted traffic to thenewway, thewayitwillalwaysbeinthefuture.Thatwasveryinterestingforme,tosaytheleast, because I couldn’t seem to get used to the newway.Needless to say, Iendeduponthewronghighwayseveraltimessincetheymadetheswitch.ThereallysadpartisthatIhadtodrivethreemilesinthewrongdirectionjusttoturnaroundandgetbackheadingintherightdirection.Thatonewrongturntookmesixmilesoutofmyway,butIjustcouldn’tcatchon!

TheLessonIsThis:Thewayhabitsaremadecanbecomparedtothewaywedriveonaroadway.Onceweknowtherouteandhavedrivenitmanytimes,wenolongerreadtheroadsigns;wesimplydrivebyhabit.

Ourbrainsworkthesameway:Wedothingsoverandoveruntilitbecomesahabit.Thenoncewe’vecreatedthathabit,thebrainisbasicallyfreeduptothink

aboutanddootherthingswhilethehabitisbeingperformedsubconsciously.Old habits are hard to break because our brains are constantly trying to do

whattheyalreadyknow.Soifwe’remakingwrongturnswhenwe’retryingtocreatenewhabits, it’sokay. In fact,wemightevensay these things shouldbeexpected.

Eventhoughthewrongturnswemakeinourrecoverysometimestakeusawaysoutoftheway,justasIfoundmyselfheadinginthewrongdirectionandhadtoturnedaroundtogethome,wemustalsoturnaroundandheadbackintherightdirectionsothatwecanmakeithome.6)Conclusion

In this step, we’ve learned that we are new creatures heading in a newdirection.We’ve learned that, fromnowon,weareno longer to run fromourproblems,butthatwewilldealwiththembyturningadifferentdirection—ournewfoundpathtowardGod.

AndnowthatweareallowingGod’sinfluencetoenterourlives,wecannotallowotherinfluencestoalterthenewcoursethatHehasplannedforus.

Wewillalsobeginthinkingonconstructivethings;wheninprayer,wewillbe

focusingonthepositive.We’vealsolearnedthatGodwantsustogethealthysothat we can feel better and think better, because a healthier body means ahealthiermind.

•Ihavechosentoheadinadifferentdirectioninmylife,awayfrombadinfluences,andtowardgoodones.

_______________________________________Signature

7)Step4Exercise

Memorizethetextbelow:

“Therefore,ifanyoneisinChrist,heisanewcreation;old

thingshavepassedaway;behold,allthingshavebecomenew”(2Corinthians5:17NKJV).

Also, keep walking, drinking lots of water, and praying, and begin to

incorporatetheeighthealthypracticesintoyourlifethatwerelistedearlier.Anddon’tforgettowritedownaBibleverseonasmallcardeachevening.Readitthenextmorning,andthentakeitwithyouthatday.Whensomethingnegativecomesintoyourmind,getitoutandreadit.

WeeklyProgressChart

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StepFive

EraseErrors

It’snowtimeformetodealwiththemistakesandbadchoicesthatImadeinthepast.Iclearlyhavewrongedothers,andIoweittomyself,toGod,andtothemtorightthosewrongs

whereverpossible.

veryonemakesmistakes, butGodwants to erase them.AndHenotonlywantstoerasethem,Hewantstoreplacethemfromnowon.

In Step 4, we learned that we’re heading in a new direction and thatwe’renowgoingtoletGod’sinfluenceintoourlives.ThebestwaytodothisistospendmoretimeinHisWord—theBible—andtofollowthe

instructionsgiventhere.Inthisstep,wewilllearnGod’smethodoferasingandreplacing;inasense,

it’sawaytofreeusupfromcarryingaroundallof theexcessmentalbaggagethatwilldonothingbutharmusinourrecoveryandinthedistantfuture.

1)TheBible:CanWeTrustIt?

ManypeopledonotbelievethattheBibleisreliable.ButthefactistheBibleisverytrustworthyasanhistoricaldocument.Infact,theBibleisactuallyabookofhistory.Itdescribespeople,places,andeventsinavarietyofdegreesofdetail.ItisbasicallyanhistoricalaccountofthepeopleofGodthroughoutthousandsofyears.

IfyouopentoalmostanypageintheBible,youwillfindthenameofaplaceand/or a person. Much of this has been verified from archaeology. Thougharchaeology cannot prove that the Bible is the inspiredWord of God, it canprovewhetherornotsomeeventsandlocationsdescribedinitaretrueorfalse.Sofar,however,thereisn’tasinglearchaeologicaldiscoverythatdisprovestheBibleinanyway.

InthebookofPsalms,KingDavidactuallyasksGodtoexaminehimtofind

outifthereisanyevilwayorevilthoughtsinhim.IfthekingofIsraelthinksit’sagoodideatoaskGodtoexaminehim,don’tyouthinkitwouldbeagoodideaforustoaskGodtoexamineus?

“Examineme,OGod,andknowmymind;testme,and

discovermythoughts.Findoutifthereisanyevilinmeandguidemeintheeverlastingway”(Psalm139:23,24GNB).

•Whoshouldweallowtoexamineourthoughts?•Why?

Ifwereaditprayerfully,withanopenheart,theWordofGodwillspeakto

eachofusonan individualbasis. Itwill tellus thingsaboutourselvesandquitepossiblyaboutthingsthatweneverknewexisted.

TheBibleisanincrediblebook:Asitspeakstous,itisabletodiscernourthoughtsandmotives.Ithastheincredibleabilitytodigdeepandtellusifourthoughtsarebadorgood.TheBibleputsitthisway:“Itisabletojudgethethoughtsandintentionsoftheheart.”Thisisveryimportantbecauseweneed

to know whether or not we’re thinking straight so that we can treatourselvesandotherpeoplebetter.

“ThewordofGodislivingandactive,sharperthananytwo-edgedsword,piercinguntilitdividessoulfromspirit,jointsfrommarrow;itisabletojudgethethoughtsandintentionsof

theheart”(Hebrews4:12NRSV).

•Ifwereaditprayerfully,withanopenheart,whatwilltheWordofGoddo?

•Whatwillittellus?

•Asitspeakstous,whatisitabletodiscern?

•HowdoestheBibleputit?

•Whydoweneedourthoughtsjudgedandwhyisthisveryimportant?

•Shouldwethen,accordingtowhatwehavejustread,spendmoretimereadingtheWordofGodinordertohelpuswiththisstep?Yes/No

2) Righting Wrongs: Assuming Responsibility andMakingApologies

Assumingresponsibility forourunacceptablebehavior in thepastwillmelttheguiltandpainthatwecarryaroundfromthatbehavior,andultimatelyit will free us from those thoughts that tend to pull us back into ouraddictions.

Iclearlyhavewrongedothers,andIoweittomyself,toGod,andtothemtorightthosewrongswhereverpossible.ThistaskcallsmetobeasopenandhonestasIcanbeaboutmypartin

mydealingswithothers.

TheBibleputs it thisway:“Goatonceandmakepeacewithyourbrother”

(Matthew5:24GNB).

•Whatwillassumingtheresponsibilityforourunacceptablebehaviorinthepastdoforus?

3)TheTenStepsofanApology

Weall knowwhat anapology is: It’s anexpressionof sorroworguilt over

havingsaidordonesomethingthatisrecognizedtobehurtfulordamaging;itisa request for forgiveness. But we all also know that it can be really hard toswallowourprideandsay,“I’msorry.”

Here we will learn the difficult task of making amends for mistakes thatwe’vemadeandrepairingtheeffectsofourangrywords.

FirstStep:Determinewhatwentwrong.Didyousaysomethinginsensitive,nomatter how true it is? Did you fail to come through on a promise?Was theoffense recentor longago?Youcan’t apologize effectively if youdon’t knowwhatyoudidwrong. If youdon’t thinkyoudid anythingwrong, then expressregretforthefeelingstheyareexperiencingasaresultofwhatyoudid.SecondStep:Takefullresponsibility,withoutsharing theblamewithanyoneelseandwithoutpresentinglong,drawn-outexplanations.

Sometimesit’shardtotakeresponsibilityforthethingsthatwe’vedonethat

hurtpeople.ButGodwillhelpusdo this.Remember,whileapologizingwhenweareatfault,wecanonlyblameourselves;inotherwords,wearetoacceptresponsibility for our part, and our part alone, in whatever issue we areconsidering.

Itmight verywell be that other people or circumstances contributed to thesituation, but you cannot apologize for them; you can only apologize foryourself,soleavethemoutof it.There’sanoldsayingthat’sstillsotrue:“We

areonlyresponsibleforkeepingoursideofthestreetclean.”ThirdStep:Realizethattherearenoexcuses.

Do not try to think of or offer an excuse.A true apology never has an

excuse in it. Take full responsibility for what you did. And if the people towhomyouapologizerejectit,that’stheirproblem.Don’ttakeitback.Stillsay,“I’msorry.”

FourthStep:Decidewhen to apologize. Sometimes, apologizing immediatelyafteryourmistake isbest,butsometimesnot.Thehurtofanunkindwordcanoftenbenumbedwithaquickapology,butotheroffensesmightrequirethattheoffendedpeoplehavetimetocooldownbeforetheyarewillingtoevenlistentoyournextsentence.Eitherway, thesooneryouapologizeforyourmistake, themorelikelyitwillbeviewedassimplyanerrorinjudgmentandthemorelikelyyouroffensewillbeforgivenandforgottensooner.

Fifth Step:Write your apology down. Construct a letter to the people you’reapologizing to, rehearsingwhatyouwillsay inperson.Notonlywill thishelpyourememberwhattosaywhenyou’refacetofacewiththem,butyoucanalsobringthecopywithyouandhandittothemifyoufindtheapologytoodifficulttoexpressinwords.Butneverforgetthatadirectandhonestapologyisbest.Doitfacetoface,ifpossible.Aphoned,emailed,orrecordedapologymightshowalackofsincerityandeffort.SixthStep:Begintheapologybynamingthewrongdoing.Bespecificabouttheincident so theyknowexactlywhatyou’re apologizing for.Make it apoint toavoidusingtheword“but.”(“Iamsorry,but”means“Iamnotsorry.”)Also,donotsay,“I’msorryyoufeelthatway”or“I’msorryifyouwereoffended.”Besorryforwhatyoudid!Otherwise, itseemslikeyou’reblamingthemand thatyouaren’treallysorry.SeventhStep:Makeamends.Thinkaboutwhatcausedyoutomaketheoffense.Isitbecauseyoutendtoreactinstantlytocertaincomments,withoutpausingtoconsideranalternativepointofview?Is itbecauseyouareunhappywithyourlifeandyoutakeitoutonothers?EighthStep:Expressyourgratitudefortheroletheyplayinyourlife.Askiftheywillgiveyouachancetomakeupforwhatyoudidwrong.Tellthemthatitisyourhope thatyouhave learned fromyourmistakeand thatyouare takingaction to change and grow as a result. Make a clear request for forgiveness,emphasizingthatyoudonotwanttojeopardizeordamagetherelationship—andwaitfortheiranswer.NinthStep:Bepatient.Iftheapologyisnotimmediatelyaccepted,thankthemforhearingyououtandleavethedooropeniftheywishtoreconcilelater.TenthStep:Carry out your promises. This is every bit as important as everyother step. A true apology entails a resolution, and you have to stick to yourwordfortheapologytobesincereandcomplete.Otherwise,yourapologywillloseitsmeaning,andtrustcoulddisappearbeyondthepointofnoreturn.

•Whatisthedefinitionoftheword“apologize”?

•Whileapologizing,wecanonlyblameourselves;inotherwords:

•Whatwillatrueapologyneverhaveinit?

•Whatkindofapologyisbest?

•Whatarewetobesorryfor?

•Inregardstotheapology,whatareourhopes?

•••Identify•••PrayerfullyaskGodtosearchyourheartandtakeaninventoryofyourconscience.

Whenhaveyouupsetorinconveniencedsomeoneelsebyyourbehavior?Whatisthatbehavior?Howdoesthisusuallyhappen?Wheredoesthisusuallyhappen?

IunderstandthatIamnottoholdanyoneelseresponsibleformybehaviorsandactions.Yes/NoIowesomepeopleanapology:Yes/NoExplain:IoweGodanapology:Yes/No(Note:SeetheexerciseofapologizingtoGodinStep#6:ForeverForgiven.)

4)God’sReplacementTherapy:SettingUpforSuccess

When battling addictions, God has put ways in place for us to overcomethem.

Thegamblingaddictisnotgoingtobeabletoquithisbadhabitbysittinginhiscar infrontofacasinoandrepeatingthewords“I’mnotgoingtogamble”overandoveragain;itjustdoesn’tworkthatway.Norshouldthesmokerwhostaresatthecupboardwherehiscigarettesarestashed,sayingthewords“I’mnotgoingtosmoke”overandoveragain,thinkhewillbreakfree.

Solet’snowlookathowwecanbesetupforsuccess,asGodshowsusfrom

someBibletextshowwecanovercomedifferenttypesofbehavioraladdictions.Ineachexamplebelow,you’ll findaBible text,abadbehavior,andhoweachbad behavior can be replaced by a good behavior. Remember, this doesn’thappenovernight;itisaprocess,aprocessinwhichwerelytotallyuponGod.Example#1:“Therefore,puttingaway lying, ‘Leteachoneofyouspeak truthwithhisneighbor,’forwearemembersofoneanother”(Ephesians4:25NKJV).

Rememberinourfirststepwhenwelearnedthatweevenlietoourselves?Intheabovetext,theBiblesaysthatwearetostoplying.Butitdoesn’tstopthere;italsosaysthatwearetoreplacethelyingwiththetruth.Example#2:“Letnocorruptwordproceedoutofyourmouth,butwhatisgoodfor necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers” (Ephesians4:29NKJV).

HeretheBibleisveryclearthatwearenotonlytostopspeakingbadwords,but thatwe are to replace those bad words with good, helpful, and kindwordsthatwillbesupportivetothosewhohearthem.Example#3:“Norgiveplacetothedevil.Lethimwhostolestealnolonger,butrather let him labor, working with his hands what is good, that hemay havesomethingtogivehimwhohasneed”(Ephesians4:27,28NKJV).

Aswecansee,theBibletellsusnottosteal,butonceagain,itdoesn’tstopthere.Itsaysthatwearetoreplacethatstealingwithgettingajob,ordoingsomethingproductive,andthenbyhelpingthepoorhoweverwecan. Thisincludesstealingtime.Ifwearepracticinganaddiction,chancesare,wearestealingtimefromsomeone.Also,now thatweare lettingHis influence intoourlives,theBiblesaysthatwearenottoletthedevilbackintoourlives.

This is God’s greatest replacement therapy. Believe it or not, God’sreplacementtherapywillworkwithanybehavioralorsubstanceaddiction.Toput itsimply:All thatweare trying toaccomplishwith the influenceofGod’sSpiritistocrowdoutbadbehaviorwithgoodbehavior.

•Howarewesupposedtostoplying?

•Howarewesupposedtostopusinghurtfulandfoullanguage?

•Howarewesupposedtostopstealing?

•Whatdoesstealinginclude?

•God’sgreatestreplacementtherapyisGod’sSpirit.WhoorwhatdoesGod’sinfluencereplaceinourlives?

•WhataddictionswillGod’sreplacementtherapyworkon?

LessonsfromLife

TheDumpTruck:Onedaywewerereplacingasectionofasphaltwithsomeconcreteinourchurchparkinglot.

My friendDanielhadavery largedump trailer,whichwasquitehandy foranythingthatweneededtodoaroundthechurch.IhadbroughtmylittleKubotatractorintopickuptheasphaltandputit intothetrailer.AsIwasloadingthetrailer,Iwonderedatwhatpointwouldthistrailerbeoverloaded;inotherwords,howmuchofthisrubbleshouldIputinbeforewegooutanddumpit?

IcalledDanielandtalkeditoverwithhim.Hesaidthattherewasalineontheinsideofthetraileraboutafootdownfromthetoprim.IfIweretofillthetrailertothatline, itwouldbeabletodumpjustfine.Souptothelineitwentwithbrokenasphaltandbaserock.Attheendof theday,Danielhookeduptothetrailerandtookitouttodumpit.Alittlewhilelater,Igotaphonecallfromhimsayingthatthetrailerwasoutatthedumpsite,stuckinthemud—itwouldn’tdump!“Ohno,”Ithought.“Whatarewegoingtodo?”

Well, there was only one thing that we could do: We went out the nextmorningandbeganunloadingtherubblebyhand.Now,thereisnowaytogetashovelintoapileofbrokenasphaltandbaserock;itjustdoesn’twork.Sowithourbarehands,weunloadedaboutfivetonsofmaterial.Ittookaboutfourhoursofnonstopburrowing,wiggling,jerking,pulling,andthrowingchunksofasphaltoutuntilwewereabletoget tothepointwherethedumptrailerwouldfinallydumptherestoftheload.Afterwegottheloaddumped,itwasquitesimpleto

pullthetraileroutofthemud.Thenweweresoononourwaybacktothechurchtofinishthejob.TheLessonIsThis:Ourlivesareloadeddownandburdenedwithterriblethingsthatwe’vedoneinthepastandsomebadthingswecontinuetodo.Themoreofthatgarbageweputintoourpersonaldumptrailers,theharderitisforustodumpthem.Thetaskjustseemstobecomemoreandmoreinsurmountableastheloadjustgrowslargerandlarger.

Therewilleventuallycomeapoint,anditmightalreadybehereforsomeofus,wherewejustsimplylosethedesiretodoanythingaboutit.Justlikeinthestory,thetrailerrefusestodump.

Whateveryoudo,don’tloseyourdesiretobecomefreefromtheweightyouarecarrying; the load isnot toobig forGod.Even though theremightcomeapointintimewhenwehavetogetintothetrailerandpullthosenastychunksofrubble out by hand, the Lordwill be right there, by our side, helping us andstrengtheningus.NojobistoobigwithGodasourhelper.Helongsforthedaythatyourloadisdumpedandyourtrailerispulledfree.5)Conclusion

ThisstephasshownushowtoexamineourselvesbyusingtheBibleasatool,

aswell as showing uswhen,where, and how to apologize to peoplewe havehurt.

Wewerealsogivena“biblicalrecipe”onhowtocrowdoutbadthingsandbehaviorswith good things and behaviors. It’s important thatwe come to therealization that even thoughwe’vedone somebad things, our lives are not ofanylessvaluetoGod.

InStep6,wewilllookatexactlywhy,nomatterhowbadwe’vebeeninourlives,wearestillvaluabletoGod.

•Inowchoosetobeginrightingwrongswhereverpossible._______________________________________Signature

6)Step5Exercise

Memorizethetextbelow:

“Forallhavesinned,andcomeshortofthegloryofGod”(Romans3:23KJV).

Also,keepwalking,drinkinglotsofwater,andpraying.RemembertowriteyourBibleverseonasmallcardandtodoyourdailymorningdevotions.Plus,begin to read the Biblewhenever you can. Begin reading in either Psalms orProverbs, in theOldTestament,or fromMatthew,Mark,Luke,or John, in theNewTestament.

Notes:

WeeklyProgressChart

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StepSix

ForeverForgiven

Hehasforgivenme;nowImustforgivemyselfandothers.

n this step, we will answer some of the most essential and importantquestionsintermsofourrecovery.Somequestionswe’lladdressdealwithforgivenessandwhyitissoimportant

in our recovery. Plus,we’ll also get answers to some basic questions thatwemight have about God, such as,Who is Jesus?,Will God ever hold our pastbehavioragainstus?,andWhatissalvation?

It’svery important thatweanswer thesequestionsso thatwecan learn justexactlywhatgreatplanGodhasinstoreforus.

1)TheGoodNews:ALookattheBigPicture

GodrunsHisuniverseontwomainprinciples:loveandfreedom.Hehasgivenustheabilitytomakechoicesbyexercisingourfreedom,aswe

learnedintheearliersteps.Withoutfreedomtherecanbenolove.Youcan’tforcesomeonetoloveyou;theyhavetobefreetochoose

toloveyou.However,withthatfreedomtochoosegivenbyGod,therecomesarisk—the

riskthatwemightchoosesomeoneother thanHim.Sadly, this isexactlywhatwehavedone.Thehumanrace,asawhole,haschosenanotherleader,someoneelse to love rather thanGod. From early in our history, back in the garden ofEden,we have chosen the devil as our leader. By choosing him, we havechosentoloveourselvesratherthanothers.Theoppositeofloveisnothate;it

is self, or selfishness. (This does not mean that we are not to take care ofourselves.Takingcareofourselvesisnotselfish;itisnecessary.)

Ifwe lookaroundourworld today,wecan see the resultsofwhathappenswhenallthepeopleinaspecieslovethemselvesmorethantheirneighbors.Wecan see the results of a planet full of individualswho have rejectedGod andchosen another leader. There is pornography, drugs, fighting, and hatredeverywhereyou looknowadays.This typeofbehavior isnot inharmonywiththewaythatGoddoesthings,yetHehasstillrespectedourfreedomtochoose.

Godknowsthatthepeopleonthisplanetareheadedfordestructionbecauseofourconduct.Nowthisbehaviorthathumanityisengagedin,behaviorthatisoutofharmonywithGod,behaviorcalledsin,carrieswithitadeathsentenceas its consequence. The decree is death because sin hurts people; eventually,Godwillputastoptopeoplehurtingotherpeople.Nooneisexemptfromthissentence; we all deserve it, because, as the Bible says, “All have sinned”(Romans3:23).

But there is good news:God has made a way out for us. He has madeprovisionforus.HehassentHisSon,Jesus,totakeourdeathsentenceaway,topaythepriceforus.Jesushascomeanddiedforussothatwedon’thavetodie.TheBibleputsitthisway:

“ForGodsolovedtheworldthatHegaveHisonlybegottenSon,thatwhoeverbelievesinHimshouldnotperishbuthave

everlastinglife”(John3:16NKJV).

Andnotonlyhas Jesusdied forus to take that sentenceofdeathaway,He

alsoroseagainfromthedeadtobeoureverydayhelperinfightingtheurgesandtemptationsthatcomealongwithlivingonthisplanet.

WhenJesuscameandlivedHislifeonEarthasahumanbeing,HeshowedushowtoliveinharmonywithGod.ItisJesus’lifeandteachingsthatwearetoembrace,andbyembracingthatlifeandthoseteachings,wearetellingGodthatwewanttoliveanotherway—therightway,Hisway.

BymakingthischoiceandwalkinginthepaththatHesetbeforeus,Godwillcontinue to forgiveus andwillneverholdourpast againstus. That is goodnews!

WhoisJesus?Simplyput,JesusisthetrueGod,inhumanflesh,whodiedforus,andnowlivesforus.AndforallthosewhoacceptandembraceHimastheirLordandSavior,thatissalvation.Thatalsoisverygoodnews!

•OnwhattwomainprinciplesdoesGodrunHisuniverse?

and

•Cantherebelovewithoutfreedom?Yes/No•Whohasthehumanracechosenastheirleader?

•Whatistheoppositeoflove?•Whatdoessincarrywithit?•Whoisexemptfromthissentence?•Whatisthegoodnews?

•WhodidGodsendtopaythispriceforus?

•Whoselifeandteachingsarewetoembrace?

•AsGodcontinuestoforgiveus,willHeeverholdourpastagainstus?Yes/No

•WhoisJesus?

•Whatissalvation?

2)Self-worth:AmIReallyValuable?

A true sense of our self-worth comes when we understand that we were

boughtatasignificantprice.JesuspaidaninfinitepriceforuswithHislife,sothatwemightbeclaimed

asoneofHisandbesetfreefromthebondageofourbadbehavior.Whatisourworth? Since we were bought with an infinite price, then our value mustlikewisebeinfinite.Godhaspurchasedus—Hesetthevalue,andGoddoesn’tbuyjunk.

KnowingthatwehavebeenpurchasedbyGod,andthatweareHis,willhelpus from becoming prideful in respect to how far we have advanced in ourrecovery.It’snotaboutusanymore.It’saboutGodandwhatHe’sdoneforus.

KeepingthisintheforefrontofourmindswillalsobeacontinualhelpinoureffortsnottodoanythingthatmightmisrepresentGod.

Therewillbepeoplewhowillnotlikethatwe’vechangedourlivesaround.Mostundoubtedly,wewillevensufferpersecutionforit.Someofouroldfriendsmight become irritated at the fact thatwehave chosen to live a new life.TheBibleevendescribeswhatmighthappen,yetitalsogivesusinstructionsonhowwearetoactifthesituationeverarises:

“Butevenifyoushouldsufferforrighteousness’sake,youareblessed.‘Anddonotbeafraidoftheirthreats,norbetroubled.’ButsanctifytheLordGodinyourhearts,andalwaysbereadytogiveadefensetoeveryonewhoasksyouareasonforthe

hopethatisinyou,withmeeknessandfear;havingagoodconscience,thatwhentheydefameyouasevildoers,thosewhorevileyourgoodconductinChristmaybeashamed”(1Peter

3:14–16NKJV).

•WhatkindofpricedidJesuspayforus?

•Whatisourvalue?

3) Prayer and the Power of Forgiveness, Part One:OneMoreAspectofBeingTrulySetFree!

TheconditionsofobtainingmercyfromGodaresimpleandreasonable.The

Lorddoesn’trequireustodosomethingdifficulttogainforgiveness.Hesimplysaysthathewho“confessesandforsakes”hissin“shallhavemercy”(Proverbs28:13).AllthatGodwantsforusisforustolivehappy,healthy,guilt-freelives.To liveguilt-free, therearecertain things thatweneed to talk toGodabout inprayer.WeneedtosharewithHimthethingsthatwehavedonewrong.Thisistheprocessknownasconfession.

Whatdoesitmeantoconfess?

This is betweenHimandus, andHe is readyandwilling tohear and to

forgivesothatwemightbesetfree.Thisis truespiritualcleansing,whichtheBibleputsthisway:

“Ifweconfessoursins,Heisfaithfulandjusttoforgiveusoursinsandtocleanseusfromallunrighteousness”(1John1:9

NKJV).

•WhatdoesGodwantforus?

•Whatdoesitmeantoconfess?

•WhatisHereadyandwillingtodo?

In our recovery, thiswill be one of themost important Bible textswe canknow.Infact,wewilllearntocontinuetodrawuponitintimesofneed,solet’slookatitagain:

“Ifweconfessoursins,Heisfaithfulandjusttoforgiveusoursinsandtocleanseusfromallunrighteousness”(1John1:9

NKJV).

Noticethatitsaysthatifweconfess,Heisfaithfulandjusttoforgiveandto cleanse. This is whatwe absolutely must learn to rely on now—God’spromises,notours.Rememberwhatwelearnedbefore:Ourpromisesare likeropesofsand,butunlikeus,Godisfaithful.Thisiswhatwemustcounton.

Whatdoesitmeantoforgive?

TheBiblealso says thatGodhearsourvoices, thatHehearsourcries,

andthatwecancallonHim.Theonlyqualificationforobtainingmercyisthatweaskforit.He’salwaysthereforus,andHeknowsexactlywhatwe’regoingthrough. There is nothing more difficult for parents than to see their childstruggleorsuffer,butthereisalsonothingthatwillstrengthenthebondbetweenchild and parents more than when the child brings his or her problems, themistakes and difficulties that caused the suffering, to his or her parents andallowsthemtobecomeinvolvedinthehealingprocess.

ThisishowitiswithGod;Heknowsthattherewillbetimeswhenwewillsuffer and have pain—and thatwewillmost definitely need forgiveness.Andjustlikeparentswholongfortheirchildtocallonthem,GodalsowantsustocallonHimandallowHimtobecomeinvolvedinourhealingprocess.

“IlovetheLord,forheheardmyvoice;heheardmycryformercy.Becauseheturnedhiseartome,Iwillcallonhimas

longasIlive”(Psalm116:1,2NIV).

Whatismercy?

•Ifweconfess,whatwillGoddo?

•Whatmustweabsolutelylearntorelyonnow?

•Whatdoesitmeantoforgive?

•WhathappenswhenwecancallonGod?

•Whatismercy?

LessonsfromLife

TheTrebleHook:IliveinthefoothillsoftheSierraNevadaMountainsinCalifornia.Itdoesn’ttakemuch—anhourorso—tohopinthetruckanddrivetoreachsomeofthebesttroutfishinginthestate.Andmanyyearsago,Iwent

troutfishingquiteoften,eitherwithmyfatherorwithfriends.

IrecallonetimeinparticularwhenwewentuptoFordyceLaketodosome

lake trolling. There were some hugeGerman brown and rainbow trout in thelake,andweweredoingquitewellwiththefishinguntilthewindkickedup.AtthattimemyfriendMikeandIdecidedwe’dbetterturnback,becausethelakewasgettingchoppy.

NowMikehadbroughthisSpringerSpaniel,namedHomer, alongwithus.Thedogwasveryyoungandquiteenergetic.Weconstantlyhadtokeephimandhisnoseoutofwhereitshouldn’tbe.Well,forsomereason,Homergottheideathatheneededtosniffaroundinthetacklebox.Andrightaboutthetimehewasdoing that,Mike turned the boat sharply tomiss a largewave—andHomer’snosebecameburiedinthetacklebox.Whenthedogpulledhisnoseout,hehadagreatbiglurestuckinit.Anditwasn’tjustasinglehooklure;thislurehadatreblehook (threehooks inone)on it, andall threehookswereshoveduphisnoseabouthalf-an-inch.PoorHomerwasinrealpain,andeverytimeheturnedhisheadheyelped,cried,andwhined.

Wetriedeverythingwecouldtogetthosehooksoutofhisnose,butnothingworked; they just kept going in deeper. Finally, after about 20 minutes ofwatchingthispoordogsuffer,Ireachedover,grabbedhisnoseinonehandandthelureintheother,andrippedthelureoutofhisnose.Homerletoutahorribleyelpbutthenalmostimmediatelyreturnedtohishappyself—histonguehangingout,pantingcheerfully,andactuallysmiling.Thewoundbledforawhile,yes,

butafterfiveminutesorsoeverythingreturnedtonormal.TheLessonIsThis: There are things that are going on in our lives,thingsthatwedo,thathurtusandotherpeople.Andjustlikethattreblehookinthedog’snose,theyareveryhardtoremove.Wecantrythiswayandthatwayandtheotherway,butforsomereasonwestillcan’tremovethem.Thereason?We’reafraidit’sgoingtohurttoobadly.

TheplainandsimpleproblemwithHomerthatdayontheboatwasthefactthathehadhooksinhisnosethatneededtoberemoved.Theproblemwithusisthatwehavesin inour lives thatneeds tobe removed. Itmighthurtandevenleavescars,butwemustsurrendertoGodandallowHimtoremovethehurtfulthingssothatwecanheal.

•••Identify•••

WithGod’shelp,identifythethingsthatyouneedtospeakwithHimabout—the

thingsthatyouneedtoconfess.DoyouchoosetoaskforGod’sforgivenessknowingthatHewillhearyou?Yes/NoWhatdoes1John1:9say?

DoyouchoosetoacceptGod’sforgivenessforthebadthingsthatyou’vedoneinthepast.Yes/NoWhatdoesPsalm116:1,2say?4) Prayer and the Power of Forgiveness, Part Two:ForgivingOthers

ThispartofStep6willrequireagreatdealofprayeronourparts.Sometimes

it’shardtoforgive,especiallywhenwe’vebeenhurtreallybad.AswelearnedinStep4,dailyprayerisessentialforyourspiritualgrowth

and for your spiritual life itself. Just as good food is important to physicalwell-being,prayerisnecessaryforyourmentalwell-being.

TheBiblesays:

“Prayatalltimes,bethankfulinallcircumstances.

ThisiswhatGodwantsfromyouinyourlifeinunionwithChristJesus”(1Thessalonians5:17,18GNB).

JesusprayedtoHisFatherfrequently;itwasHishabit.WhenHisdisciples

askedHimtoteachthemhowtopray,Herespondedinthisway:

“Hesaiduntothem,‘Whenyepray,say,OurFatherwhichartinheaven,Hallowedbethyname.Thykingdomcome.Thywillbedone,asinheaven,soinearth.Giveusdaybydayourdailybread.Andforgiveusoursins;forwealsoforgiveeveryonethatisindebtedtous.Andleadusnotintotemptation;but

deliverusfromevil’”(Luke11:2–4KJV).

Inthisstatement,wefindthatJesusteachesusthatweshouldnotonlyaskforforgivenessfromourHeavenlyFather,butalsothatwearetoacknowledgethatwearewillingtoforgivethosewhohavehurtus.

Aswegrowinourrecovery,readingtheWordofGod,praying,andgainingmoreknowledgeabout thenatureof forgiveness,wealso find that there isyetanotherpartforustoplay:

“Ifyouforgiveothersthewrongstheyhavedonetoyou,yourFatherinheavenwillalsoforgiveyou.Butifyoudonot

forgiveothers,thenyourFatherwillnotforgivethewrongsyouhavedone”(Matthew6:14,15GNB).

AswelearnmoreaboutthecharacterofGod—thatHeisakind,loving,forgivingGod—webegintounderstandtheimportanceandpowerofforgiveness.AsweconfessourownshortcomingsandacceptGod’sforgiveness,itbringsaboutachangeinourlives.Thesecurityandjoyofknowingthatweareforgivenenablesustogainthemindset,power,anddesiretoforgiveothers.

LearningStatement

“WecanreceiveforgivenessfromGodonlyasweforgiveothers.ItistheloveofGodthatdrawsusuntoHim,andthatlovecannottouchourheartswithoutcreatingloveforour

brethren.…Wearenotforgivenbecauseweforgive,butasweforgive.Thegroundofallforgivenessisfoundinthe

unmeritedloveofGod,butbyourattitudetowardothersweshowwhetherwehavemadethatloveourown”(TheFaithI

LiveBy,p.131).

•Whatisdailyprayeressentialfor?

•Howoftenshouldweprayaccordingto1Thessalonians?•WhatwasJesus’prayerhabit?•Whenwepray,Jesussaysthatweshouldnotonlyaskforforgiveness,butthatweshouldalsoacknowledgethatwearewillingtodowhat?•Whatdoesthesecurityandjoyofknowingthatweareforgivendoforus?•HowdoweshowwhetherornotwehavemadeGod’sloveourown?

•••Identify•••

AsIlookbackonmylife,IseetherearetimeswhenIhavebeenwrongedbyothers.KnowinghowmuchGodhasforgivenme,andhowmuchHelovesme,helpsenablemetoforgive

them.

Howandwhattypeofthingsusuallyhurtyou?Whenisitthatyouusuallygethurtbyothers?Whoisitthatusuallyhurtsyouorhashurtyouinthepast?

5)Conclusion

Inthisstep,wehavenotonlylearnedaboutthepowerofforgiveness.We’vealsolearnedaboutthe“goodnews,”aboutfreedom,aboutlove,andaboutJesusandwhatHehasdoneforusandisdoingrightnowforus.

We’vealsolearnedthatGodhasboughtuswithaprice,thatweareofvaluetoHim, and thatHe is ready andwilling to forgiveourpast.We’ve learned alittlemoreaboutprayertoo—aboutprayerhabitsandhowprayerisessentialforour spiritualgrowth.And,ofcourse,we’ve learnedabout forgivingothersandtheimportanceoflearninghowtodothat.

•Icanchoose,byGod’sgrace,toforgive._______________________________________Signature

6)Step6Exercise

Memorizethetextbelow:

“Ifweconfessoursins,Heisfaithfulandjusttoforgiveusour

sinsandtocleanseusfromallunrighteousness”(1John1:9NKJV).

Also,keepchartingyourprogressonyourweeklyprogresschart—andbegin

theprocessoflearninghowtoforgiveothers.

WeeklyProgressChart

A

StepSeven

God’sGrace

KeepgivingwhatI’vereceivedandletthelightshinethroughme…

swehavefollowedthestepsoutlinedinthisworkbook,wehavekeptverybusy, haven’t we? As we continue doing the exercises outlined in theweekly progress chart, and even though we are responsible for our

recovery,wemust always remember that it isGod’sgracealone thatkeepsusseparatedfromouraddictions.

Ihavenopowerinandofmyselftoovercomeanyevil

influence.ItisonlybythegraceofGodthatIlivetoseeeachnewdayremovedfrommyaddiction.

One of the best ways to keep everything in the right perspective is to tell

otherswhatGodhasdoneforus.WhenwetellotherswhatGodhasdoneforus,itnotonlygivesthemhope,italsosolidifiesinourownmindsthefactthatGodisresponsibleforourrecovery.Aswerepeatourtestimonies,itremindsuswhatGod’sgracehasdoneforus.

Herearethreethingstosharewithothers.

1)Hope

SharingournewfoundhopeinJesusChristdoesmanythingsforusandfor

those we are sharing with.Hope helps us concentrate our energies. Hopeprovides the assurance of something positive and rewarding. Hope calmstheemotions.Hopestabilizesourthinking.

It is very exciting towatch someonewho is full of hope; it’s also kind ofcontagious!Thisiswhatthegoodnewsisallabout:givingothershope,thesamekindofhopethatwehavefound.

Whatarefourthingsthathopecandoforus?1)2)3)4)

•••Identify•••

Whatareyourhopes?Whohaveyouplacedyourhopeinexclusively?

Note:Withouthope,thereisnomotivationforgrowthand

thereislittlechanceforhealing.Weneedtoinspireotherswithhope.Thismeansthatwemusthaveapositiveoutlookonlife.Thispositiveoutlookwillspreadtoothers.Remember,apersoncan’tbepositiveandnegativeatthesametime—it’s

impossible.Areyouwillingtobepositive?Yes/NoAreyouwillingtoshareyourhopeswithothers?Yes/NoAreyouwillingtoshare“whoyouhaveplacedyourhopein”withothers?Yes/NoHowwillyoudothis?

2)Faith

LessonsfromLife

TheBrokenAnkle:Ioncehadtwoofthegreatestbossesintheworld—FredandBev.Whenbusinesswasgood, theycouldprovideworkforabout40men,andtheywoulddojustaboutanythingfortheiremployees,oranyoneelseforthatmatter.

Onceortwiceayeartheylikedtohoponacruiseshiptogetawayfromitall.

On one particular seven-day cruise, they took their grandchildren to theCaribbean. On the second day of the cruise, Bev and her grandson foundthemselves navigating some slippery tile near the edge of a swimming poolwhenBevslippedandbrokeherankle.Itmeantthatshewaseithergoinghomeorsufferingfivemoredaysonthatshipwithabrokenankle.

However, she didn’t want to ruin the grandchildren’s trip, so she chose totoughitout.Thencametimeforthelongtriptotheairport, thegruelingflighthome, and the visits to the hospital where the doctors performed surgery toinstall plates and screws and staples in an effort to get her ankle to the pointwhereitwouldhealcorrectly.

After the surgery, the doctors toldBev that shewould have to stay off theanklecompletelyforatleastsixweeks.Notonlywasshenottowalkonit,butshehad tokeep itelevatedforabout23hoursaday.Asyoucan imagine, thiscouldonlyhappenwithherlyingonherbackforhoursatatime.

However, shewas also told to do certain exercises to keep her blood fromclottingwhileshewasforcedtostayinbedforsuchlongperiodsoftime—andtokeepherfromlosingmuscletoatrophy.Ifwedon’texerciseourmuscles,theywillweaken.Thiswillhappenuntiltheyfinallyshrivelupandwasteaway.Wemustexerciseourmusclesifwedon’twanttobecomeweakandfeeble.TheLessonIsThis:Justasweneedtoexerciseourphysicalmusclestokeepourselvesinshapeandtobestrongandhealthy,wemustalsoexerciseourspiritualmuscles.Inotherwords, tostaystrongandhealthymentally,wemustexerciseourfaith,ourbeliefinGod.

Whilewewere inouraddictions,ourfaithdidn’tgetmuchexercise.Aswe

lookback,wecanseethattheresultsofthatlackofexercisewereveryapparentinourlives.Wenurturedthediseaseofspiritualatrophyforalongtime.Sonow,eventhoughwehaveturnedtoGodandthehealingwillbeginimmediately,ourrehabilitationisgoingtotakealongtime;that’sjustthewayitis.

It’sinterestingtonoticethesimilaritiesbetweenthephysicalrehabilitationofourbodiesandthespiritualrehabilitationofourminds.Remember,rehabilitationis a process. Just asBev needed to continue to exercise even though shewaslyingonherbackandinpain,wealso—feelingknockeddownandingreatpain—mustgetourexercisebothphysicallyandspiritually.

Asweshareourfaithwithothers,itisstrengthened—andweareremindedofwhowehaveputourfaithandtrustin.Thereisnothingmorepowerfulthantheevidenceofachangedlife,andpartofthatchangeisthesharingofwhatGodhasdoneforus throughfaith.Forothers tofind the joyandhappiness thatwehavefound,theyneedevidence—wearethatevidence!

•Whatisfaith?•Nothingismorepowerfulthanwhat?

•Whoistheevidencethatothersneedtofindjoyandhappiness?

LearningStatement

“WeneedtohavefarlessconfidenceinwhatmancandoandfarmoreconfidenceinwhatGodcandoforeverybelievingsoul.HelongstohaveyoureachafterHimbyfaith.HelongstohaveyouexpectgreatthingsfromHim.Helongstogiveyouunderstandingintemporalaswellasinspiritualmatters.Hecansharpentheintellect.Hecangivetactand

skill.Putyourtalentsintothework,askGodforwisdom,anditwillbegivenyou”(Christ’sObjectLessons,p.146).

Whatisthegeneralconsensusofthislearningstatement?

•••Identify•••

Whohaveyouplacedyourtrustincompletely?Howhasyourfaithbeenrewarded?Areyoureadyandwillingtoshareyourfaithwithothers?Yes/NoHowwillyoudothis?

3)Love

Godlovesusunconditionally.HehasprovenitbysendingHisSontodiefor

us so that we don’t have to die. This is love, a love that we don’t fullyunderstandbutknowisreal—becauseitisworkinginourlives.

SharingtheloveofGodissoimportant,becausetherearemanypeopleouttherewhodon’tunderstandit.TheythinkthatGodisuptherejustwaitingforthemtogetintotroublesothatHecannailthem.

Theydon’t realize that theyarealready in troubleand thatGod is trying tohelp them.God isnotourenemy;He isour friend—andbysharingwhatGodhasdoneforus,manyhurtingpeoplecancometoknowthatandunderstandGod’slovebetter.

•HowdoweknowthatGod’sloveisreal?

•Whyisthesharingofthatlovesoimportant?

•WhyissharingwhatGodhasdoneforussoimportant?

ThesharingofGod’slovealsoinvolvesknowinghowtotreatpeople.InJohn14:15, Jesus says, “If you loveme, keepmy commandments” (NRSV).Whatexactlyarethosecommandments?WhensomeoneaskedJesusthisquestion,Heanswered:

“‘LovetheLordyourGodwithallyourheartandwithallyoursoulandwithallyourstrengthandwithallyourmind’…and…‘Loveyourneighborasyourself’”

(Matthew22:37–39NIV).

Whatwisewordstheseare!Ifyouthinkaboutit,whatbetterwayistheretotreatyourneighborthanthe

way laid out inGod’s commandments? If you love your neighbor,will youeverstealfromhim,lietohim,wanttohurthim,orwanttotakehiswife?Weshouldhopenot.

By the same token, if we are to love God with all of our hearts, as Hecommandsustodo,doesn’tthatmeanwewon’tputanythingaheadofHiminourlives?Thisiswhereitallstarts:lovingGodandlovingyourneighbor.

GodhasputHisTenCommandmentsinaparticularordertoillustrateapoint.ThefirstfourcommandmentsdealwithourrelationshiptoHim,andthelastsixdealwithourrelationshipstoourfellowhumanbeings.ThesecommandmentscanbefoundinExodus20:

“AndGodspokeallthesewords,saying:‘IamtheLordyourGod…’”(NKJV).

•ONE:YoushallhavenoothergodsbeforeMe.•TWO:Youshallnotmakeforyourselfacarvedimageandbowdowntoit•THREE:YoushallnottakethenameoftheLordyourGodinvain.•FOUR:RemembertheSabbathday,tokeepitholy.•FIVE:Honoryourfatherandyourmother.•SIX:Youshallnotmurder.•SEVEN:Youshallnotcommitadultery.•EIGHT:Youshallnotsteal.•NINE:Youshallnotbearfalsewitnessagainstyourneighbor.•TEN:Youshallnotcovetanythingthatisyourneighbor’s.

•AccordingtoJesus,whatarethetwogreatcommandments?

•Whatisthebestwaytotreatourneighbors?

•IfwetrulyloveGod,whatwillwenotdo?

•WherecantheTenCommandmentsbefoundintheBible?

•••Identify•••

Wholovesyouunconditionally,evenwhenyoucan’tloveyourself?

HowhasGodshownHislovetoyou?AreyoureadyandwillingtoshareGod’slovewithothers?Yes/NoHowwillyoudothis?

4)TestimoniesofHope,Faith,andLove

Atthispoint,itistrulyfittingthatmywifeandIshareourtestimonieswith

you.Wehopethatitwillaccomplishtwothings:One,itwillhelpvalidateyourunderstandingthatGodisrealandthatHedoesworkmiracles.Two,itwillhelpyouseethatwehavebeenthroughandaregoingthroughthesamethingsyouaregoingthrough.

Susan

WhenIwasveryyoung,Iwassexuallymolested.Fromthatpointon,Ifeltunlovable,ugly,abandoned,anddifferentfromothers.IfeltlikeIwaswalkingaroundwith thisbigblackhole insideofme. IhadattendedaCatholic schoolfrom first to fifth grade and was mesmerized by the mystical and beautifulsurroundings,butwherewasGod?AndifHeissopowerful,whydidHeallowalloftheawfulthingstohappentome?

ThefirsttimeIsmokedacigarette—atage10—itmademefeelgood,anditfilled up a little bit of the emptiness inside. But the cigarettes weren’t quiteenoughtofillmeuptotally,soImovedontoalcoholandthenpot.Byage13Ihadtriedcocaine,andbyage15Iwasusingitonaregularbasis.

By the time Iwas 19, Iwas arrested for selling an ounce of cocaine to an

undercoverdrugenforcementofficer.Itwasthefirstofseveralarrestsandstaysin institutions and drug rehab programs. I didwhatever I had to do to get thedrugsandstayhigh.IsleptwithwhomeverIhadtoandstolefromwhomeverIhadto.Itgottothepointthatnothingwasstrongenoughtofillthathole.DrugstookmetoplacesandmademedothingsIsworeIwouldneverdo.IgottothepointwhereIcouldn’tlivewithoutthem.Ibecamealiar,acheat,andathief.

When Iwas 31, Iwas arrested at the home inwhich I grew up. Itwas anextremelylargedrugbustforthePlacerCountySheriff’sDepartment,aswellasforthecityofLincoln,wheremyfatherwasthemayor.Ihadbeenthroughanddone somuch to humiliatemy family andmyself, but nothing could stopmefromdoingthedrugs.

After threeyearsofabusing therecoveryopportunities that thecourtsmadeavailable,myprobationofficerwasfedupwithme.Iwasfacingevenmoretimein jail and also prison time. I just couldn’t do it anymore on my own andcouldn’t stay clean, and I knew it.The night before I had to turnmyself in, Iknewifthingsdidn’tchangeIwasgoingtodie.IcriedandaskedGodtohelpme.Iusedandingestedmanydrugsthatnightbutwasstillunabletogethigh.Somehow I still endedupgettingmyself to jail the next day. Iwas extremelyunderweight,my hair and teethwere falling out, and I had sores all overmyskin.

After being transferred from the main jail to minimum security, I met awomanwhoaskedmewhyIkeptdoingwhatIwasdoing.ItoldherthatIdidn’t

haveachoiceinthematter.ItwastheonlylifeIknew.Iwashopeless.SheaskedmeifshecouldpraywithmeandaskGodtodelivermefromthisaddiction.Ididn’t think it would help, but I didn’t think it would hurt either. I don’trememberexactlywhatshesaid.

All I know is that God heard her prayer and that I have never had anobsessiontousedrugssince!Ibegantopraysimpleprayerslike,“God,pleasehelpme!”And it worked. From that point on I knew that it was only by thepowerofGodthatIwasabletostayclean.

Everything in my life had to change. I also knew that I had to be as

determinedandobsessive inmysearch toknowGodanddoHiswill as Ihadbeeningettingmydrugs.IfIdon’ttakeanactivepartinarelationshipwithGodonadailybasis, thenIwillnevermakeit.EachdayIwakeupanddecideifIwanttoliveorifIwanttodie.Iusedtoblameeveryoneelseforeverythingthathappened to me. I know now that I am the one who makes the choices anddecideshowtoreacttothethingsofthisworld.

ForgivenesshasbeenoneofthebesttoolsGodhasgivenme.Hehasforgivenme somuch that I in turn can forgive others. I look back atmy past and amamazedatwhoIusedtobeandwhatmylifewaslike.IneverdreamedIwouldbeabletolivewithoutdrugs.After25yearsofdrugabuse,Ihavebeencleanfor14years and eachday is incredible.Life is still difficult. I havedone a lot ofdamage tomybodybecauseof thedruguse,butGodissogood. It is like theformerthingshavepassedawayandhavebeenforgotten;Iamanewcreature.There is a saying: “You can’t keep it unless you give it away.” The mostimportantthingformetodayistocontinuetosharemystoryofGod’spower.

Rich

As I look back onmy life, it’s hard to pinpoint exactly when things wentwrong.Ididn’tusedrugsoralcoholduringhighschool,andIwasverydrivenineverything I did. I excelled in music, sports, and academics—graduating asvaledictorian,classpresident,andearningothernumerousawards.

I didn’t go on to college, however, but worked as a mechanic and starteddrinkingand smokingwith theguys.Thisbecame thenormasmyconsciencewassilencedwithalcohol.Atfirstitwasnotaphysicaladdiction.Itwasmoreofaroutine,aritual,somethingIdideveryafternoonandevening,justlikegettingup and eating breakfast, even though I felt so bad in the morning; I swore Iwasn’tgoingtodoitagainthatafternoon.

I lovedrock-n-rollmusicandjoinedseveralbandsduringmyearlyyearsof

abuse. I alsogot intoconstructionat the time.Thecombinationof rockmusicand construction allowed me access to an unlimited supply of every drugimaginable, thetakingofwhichIhadassuredmyselfIwouldneverdowhenIwasinhighschool.

Mynewfriendswerealldifferentthanfrommyhighschooldays;impressingthemtooknewtalents,suchasusingcocaine.Ifellinlovewithcocaineatfirstcontact,andmylifebegantorevolvearoundtheacquisitionanduseofthisdrug.Ibegantocareaboutnothingbutthisdrugandthealcohol,bothofwhichIhadnowbecomedependentupon,allthewhilemaintainingthatIwasn’taddictedtoanything.

My lifebegana slowspiraldownward.During thisperiodof time, Ibegandealinglargequantitiesofdrugs,storingweapons,andgrowingmarijuana,allofwhich became normal everyday life forme.Having guns held tomy head orstuckinmyfacewere things thatIputupwith togetdrugs.Drugscamefirst,

before family, girlfriends, andwork.Myaddictions tookmedown the road tosmoking crank and involvement with manufacturing it. I was thoroughlyconvincedthatIcouldn’tlivewithoutdrugs;withoutanoverdoseamountinmysystem,Iwasn’t“normal.”

I lived in a one-room garage and slept on the floor with a beer keg as a

fireplace to keep warm, with the chemicals to cookmethamphetamine buriedunderneathmysleepingbag.IfinallyrealizedIhadtriedlivinglifemywayfor41years—23ofwhich inalcoholordrugabuse—and ithadn’tworked.Therewasnooneleft.EvenmygirlfriendSusantoldmenottocomearound.

Inafog,Ireflectedonmylifeand,somehowwithouthurtingmetoomuch,GodshowedmewhatIhaddone.Icriedout toHimforhelpat the topofmylungsandinstantlytheobsessionforusingwasgone.AsIreflectonthistimeinmylife,IrealizethatIwasthoroughlybeaten.Mywayhadn’tworked,andGodinHismercy allowedme to suffer the consequences ofmy choices just longenoughformehearHisvoiceclearly.Hetoldme,“Thisis it; ifyouusedrugsonemore day, youwill die.” Itmust have beenGod’s goodness that keptmelistening.Mylifethenbecameadiligentsearchforthetruth.

I realized I needed to surrender to win—to stop fighting everything andsimplysearchforGod.Hehadalreadyhelpedmetostopusingdrugs.SoIclungtoHimandthehopethatHewouldfixmylife,whichIhadspentallthoseyearsofabuseruining.

SusanandIgotmarriedshortlyafterwegotclean,andweknewthatwehadtofindtruthorwewouldendupbackwherewewere.Webegantounderstandthat God’s ways are totally different than our ways. We have seen howseemingly small choices andcompromises can leadyoudowna road thatwilleventuallyhaveyoudoingthingsyousworeyouneverwould.

TheLordhasbeensogoodtous;Hehasgivenusawonderfulchurchfamily,

anewhome,greatjobswithgreatemployers,andHehasalsogivenmebackarelationship with my family that I had worked so hard to destroy. There arecontinuallygreattrialsandchallengesthatcomeourway,butweknowthatifwecontinue to relyonGodwewillbeokay.Mostpeople tend toassociateGod’smiracleswiththeManwhowalkedthisearth2,000yearsago—butbelieveme,Christstillworksmiraclestoday!

LessonsfromLife

TheCellPhone:Thereweretimeswhenmycompanywouldmakesomevery large concrete pours; in an effort not to conflict with huge cranes andworkers on the ground,wewould have to begin these pours very early in themorning.

Ononeoccasion,Irecallshowingupat2:00amtostartapour.Iwasthefirst

oneon the jobandwas there toget thepumpsetup.When Ipulledup to thejobsite,itwasverydark.Itwasnotonlythemiddleofthenight;itwasovercastso there were no stars and no moon out either. When I shut off my truck’sheadlights,Icouldbarelyseemyhandinfrontofmyface.

Therewasageneratorwithalightrackonit thatIcouldusetolightuptheworkarea,butitwasabout200yardsaway.Icouldn’tgetmyheadlightstoshineonit,soIneededtogetmyflashlightoutofthetoolbox,whichwasinthebedofmytruck.Onceagain,theheadlightswerenohelp;itwaspitchblackbackthere.Igropedaroundinthetoolboxforawhilewithnosuccess.

ThenIthoughtitwouldbeagoodideatogetmycellphoneandopenitupto

use the tiny, barely bright display illumination to helpme find the flashlight.Thisworked just fine. I found the flashlight andwas able to cross the jobsite

without getting hurt in the middle of the dark night. I made my way to thegenerator, fired it up, raised the light rack, and illuminated that portion of thearea.ThenIwasabletoproceedtotheotherfourgeneratorsandlightracks,andthenextthingyouknow,theentirejobsitewaslituplikedaytime.

TheLessonIsThis:WhatwearelearninginthisworkbookaboutGodand recovery andwhatwe are sharingwith others is light.That light is hope,faith,andlove.Wearetoldtoletourlightshine,andeventhoughitmightseemthatthelightwehavetoshareisn’tmuchandmaynotbeimportant,thisisnotthecase.Thesmallcellphonelightandtheflashlightplayedtheirpartsandwerejustascrucialtomeasthebiglightsinilluminatingthatjobsite.Andjustasitwasmyjobtogettheworkarealitupthatmorning,it’sourjobtoletGod’slightshinethroughusandilluminateHisworkarea.TheworldisGod’sworkarea,andHeneedsustotellpeoplewhatHehasdoneforus!5)Conclusion

Inthisstep,we’velearnedtokeepgivingwhatwehavereceivedandletthe

lightshinethroughus.We’vealsolearnedabouthopeandwhatourhopesare,andwe’velearnedthatifweaskGodforwisdomaswestepoutinfaith,itwillbegiventous.

TherearemanypeopleouttherewhodonotunderstandGod’slove,hurtingsouls who need to come to know Him better. This is where our individualtestimoniescomein.Nooneonthisplanetcanrefutesomeone’stestimony;no

onecanargueordenywhatGodhasdoneforyou,sowhatbetterwaytogivesomeone hope, share your faith, and show the love ofGod than to tell them,“Godisable!”6)Step7Exercise

Memorizethetextbelow:

“Forbygraceyouhavebeensavedthroughfaith,andthatnotofyourselves;itisthegiftofGod”(Ephesians2:8NKJV).

Also,keepchartingyourprogressonyourWeeklyProgressChart.Andbegin

theprocessofsharingyourtestimonywithothers.

WeeklyProgressChart