PowerPoint Presentation

Describing Your Views ConstructivelyBe careful how you go about sharing your feelings.

Describing Your Views ConstructivelyNathan and Liz work in a florist shop. When a customer complains about a late order, Nathan feels Liz is responsible because she was on vacation the previous day and didn't inform him about the order. Follow along as Nathan confronts Liz about this situation.

Nathan (sarcastic): Mrs. King didn't get her order. What a surprise.Liz (confused): What does that mean?Nathan (irritated): It means her order hasn't been delivered. You really should have got that order right, Liz. She's an old customer of ours. You are never careful enough when it comes to delivery times.Liz (defensive): That's unfair. I work really hard, often staying late to get the flowers ready for late deliveries. Do you even want to know what happened with her order?Nathan (angry): Not really. Why can't you just do what you're supposed to do?Liz (angry): Again, that's unfair. This is ridiculous.Nathan (frustrated): Forget it. There's no way to reason with you!Describing Your Views ConstructivelyExpress feelings directly but calmly.Outline a resolution.

Expressing FeelingsUse "I" language rather than "you" language.Avoid words like "always" and "never".Stick to what you observe and feel.Talk about how behavior makes you feel.Avoid judging, blaming, criticizing.PracticeDo you think it's fine to use humor when expressing your feelings in a conflict situation?A.Yes.B.No.Expressing FeelingsDon't use humor or sarcasm to make your point.Validate viewpoint of other party.

Outline a Resolution

Aim to find solution.Focus on issue, not person.Stay positive.Describing Your Views ConstructivelyBe firm and clear.Resolution may be altered to suit.Image PlaceholderDescribing Your Views ConstructivelyLater on, Nathan feels bad about the conflict and decides to try again. Follow along as Nathan discusses the late order in a more constructive manner with Liz.

Nathan: Liz, can I talk to you?

Liz (angry): What do you want?

Nathan (apologetic): Look, I'm sorry about earlier. It's just that I get really worried about losing customers when we don't deliver on time. Mrs. King is an old customer of ours and so it's important to get her flowers delivered when she wants them.

Liz (annoyed): Don't you think I know that? I left a note about her order on the desk here.Describing Your Views ConstructivelyNathan: It must have gotten lost with all the orders we took yesterday. I know you're working hard Liz, but I feel it's important for us to communicate clearly so that this doesn't happen. I've noticed during our busy season, the shop tends to be late with more orders than I would like.

Liz: Yes. I agree. But it isn't always my fault that orders are late.

Nathan: I know that Liz. I hope I haven't led you to believe that this is all your fault. What I think would help is a new system for tracking orders, and, in particular, for communicating about orders when we take days off. I'm looking into some new order tracking software today.

Liz (happier): That sounds good to me. I actually have some ideas that might help.DiscussionHow well do you think Nathan handled the situation this time around? What improvements did he make?

PracticeViolet has assigned Roberto a complicated task, but she is unclear in her instructions. And because she is very busy and tends to dismiss Roberto's questions about what to do, Roberto goes ahead and carries out the task, even though he is still unclear about it. Violet complains about what he has done and asks him to redo it. It's not the first time that this has happened, and so Roberto has asked to meet with Violet to talk about it.

Which are constructive examples of what Roberto should say?A."You're really frustrating me. You're always unclear in your instructions and then you won't address my concerns about this lack of clarity."B."I feel I'm not getting enough clarification on the tasks you assign me, and I get stressed and confused about them. I work hard on them but then have to redo them. It can be demoralizing."C."It may be difficult to resolve this because you seem to find my questions annoying. And you've done this before when I had questions about the Ogilvy project."D."What I need is for us to set aside a little bit of time to run through the details of your task assignments. I know you're very busy, so if we met at a time that suited you, it'd be a great help."