COMMUNICATION-“YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN” R. Lew Bennett

Communication is to give and receive infor- mation, signals or messages in any form, by talking, gestures, writing, etc. In com- munication we are concerned with what we say, how it is received and what is done with what we say. Just to tell someone something is not enough. We must communicate in such a way that we walk with people-that we do not just sit back and point the way. We moti- vate a particular person to do his share of the load the right way, and in the right spirit.

Good communication seems like a simple enough objective, but how difficult it is to achieve! Let’s look at some of the problems we have in communication. First, there is what we might call the communication re- versal-our own inability to identify the mes- sage to ourselves-our not understanding what we are going to say or write, with the failure, therefore, of the message to achieve the wanted action. Second, there is the hazy insight into attitudes or reactions of the per- son we are talking to-which limits the clear transmission of thoughts or ideas and the re- sult is distorted meaning. Third, there is the assumption by the communicator that regard- less of how poor the message, the person we are talking or writing to understands what we mean. How often do we hear the expres- sion “You know what I mean,” or “Anyone with any sense can figure that out,” when we must keep in mind that whatever can be misunderstood, will be.

Misunderstandings are so frequent in hu- man relationships that it pays us to give

R. Lew Bennett is the national sales manager for the Howmet Corporation, hospital division. He was formerly in the medical division and has had over ten years of sales and management experience in the hospital field.

serious thought to the whole idea of how to communicate properly. Unfortunately, much of the communication in standard business practice flows in only one direction-from sender to receiver, and more often than not, the communication takes the form of a letter, bulletin board note, a memo, or verbal in- structions handed down through a third party. But regardless of how it is done, there exists in one-way transmission a wide margin for error in the receiver’s understanding.

In order to minimize this possibility, there are four important rules to follow: 1) Put it in writing-and remember, if we cannot say or write our message simply, we haven’t thought it out clearly enough. 2) Whenever we receive important one-way information verbally-an order or instructions-we should confirm i t in our own words, preferably in writing. Thus we will at least establish two- way communication, and understanding. 3) If we give important one-way information or instruction verbally, we should go into con- siderable detail, and use examples. 4) Resolve to substitute two-way communication when- ever it is possible to do so. For anyone who gives orders, the principle of establishing two-way communication is to make sure that the person receiving the orders clearly understands the information or instructions.

We should also consider the circumstances under which communication occurs. It can make a vast difference in the effectiveness of our message. No salesman in his right mind would take the customer to a baseball game and try to sell him anything when the score is tied in the ninth inning. Yet many of us try to communicate with others when the situ- ation is equally tense.

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Strive for a relaxed attitude, confident manner and a feeling of mutual trust.

Words, whether spoken or unspoken, are the principle means of communication and sometimes an unspoken word expresses a truer meaning than one which we hear. With the spoken word, we must use care in how we express ourselves. If we tell a fellow work- er that he did a pretty good job on an assign- ment we gave him, he may wonder if we meant that his work was well done, or that it left something to be desired.

In all human relations a truer understand- ing of the thoughts and actions of others could come from what we do not say or do, as well as from our actual words and deeds.

There are other areas of communication that we must think about if we are to com- municate persuasively.

We must realize that there are pitfalls in- volved in the give and take of conversation, and we must remember that communication is a two-way street, with a three stage objec- tive: 1) to involve a series of favorable re- sponses and agreements, 2 ) To bring about favorable action, 3) to win the permanent trust and confidence of the people we talk to.

We must realize that comniunication is complicated by a number of human factors, not the least of which is the rate at which people think, listen and speak. Research has it that most adults think at least four times as fast as they talk.

The average American speaks at the rate of 125 words per minute, but he thinks at the speed of 400 to 500 words per minute. The different ways of speaking and thinking create problems for both the listener and the speaker.

In communicating, we must be alert and attentive. We must guard against not listen- ing. We must not think too far ahead of the person we are talking to. As a result of a study made on personal communications, it was found that, on the average, 75 per cent of a person’s waking hours is spent in verbal

communication, 30 per cent in talkiig and 45 per cent in listening. Yet most of us don’t know how to listen.

THE ART OF LISTENING There is an art to listening. We must bear

in mind that what we learn from listening has an operational efficiency of only 25 per cent. Two days after we talk with someone, we have forgotten 75 per cent of our conversa- tion. The reason for this is that the average person is only half a listener. He retains only about 50 per cent of what he hears right after hearing it. There is a saying in selling- tell them; tell them what you told them then tell them again.

The act of listening requires that we do more than simply let sound waves approach us. If we are poor listeners, we become im- patient. Our thoughts go to something else for a moment, then dart back to the speaker. These brief side excursions continue, and sometimes our minds tarry too long on some other subject, and when OUT attention returns to the speaker, we find that he is far ahead of us. This is why we get only 50 per cent of what is said to us. A good idea is to take notes.

Remember, a good communicator is a good listener. He puts his thought speed to ad- vantage. He constantly applies his spare think- ing time to what is being said bearing these questions in his mind: 1) Are the speaker’s facts accurate? 2) Do they come from an unprejudiced source? 3) Does he present a full picture, or only what will prove his point?

Bad listeners seldom give a subject or the speaker a chance. They declare a subject dry after a few sentences, and sign off.

Good listeners find something interesting in what is being said, and ask themselves:

What is he saying that I need to know? Is that really a practical idea? Is he reporting anything new? A speaker cannot talk very long without

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hitting on a point that he will have to be either for or against. The bad listener men- tally starts to plan a rebuttal if he is against the point, or thinks of what he can say if he is for it. The good listener keeps listening. He does not get too excited about a speaker’s point until he is certain he has heard it through and understands it. You and I have learned that the way in which we listen has a great deal to do with the way people talk to

Another problem in communication has to do with the times in which we live. Today is considered by many to be the time of the great “goof off’-the age of the half-done job, when many are enjoying a stampede away from responsibility. It is stated by some to be an era wherein some teachers and management demand a single salary schedule. With such an attitude, achievements cannot be rewarded, nor can poor work be punished. It is said to be a time when many students take easier courses, because the harder courses require that they think.

Henry Ford said, “Thinking is the hardest work of all, and that is why so few people do it.” We can be of help to people by the way we communicate with them. We must be care- ful not to categorize them. We must recog- nize that there are four basic drives in all of us, and we must keep them in mind. These four important basic drives are:

The desire for security. People want to feel secure. To give them this feeling, we must communicate in such a way as to build confidence and trust.

The desire for recognition. People want to be recognized, to have their efforts or achieve- ments acknowledged. We should communi- cate in a manner which establishes this recognition and gives new challenges and ad- ditional responsibilities.

The desire to belong. People want to feel they are a part of the whole, that they have

us.

contributed. The desire for understanding. For success-

ful communication, we must show under- standing of the other’s thoughts and needs.

If we bear these basic truths in mind, we will communicate in the right way, and in the right spirit, and the people with whom we communicate will do a better job if they know and understand the following: What they are supposed to do; what authority they have, and if they are backed up in this authority ; their relationships with other peo- ple; what constitutes a job well done in terms of specific results; what they are doing ex- ceptionally well; where they are falling short; what they can do to improve unsatisfactory results; that what they are doing and thinking is of value; and that their supervisor has a deep concern for them.

I can think of no better words than those used by Abe Lincoln: “ . . . that I will have malice toward none . . . charity for all . . . and I will be firm in the right as God gives me the sight to see the right . . . ”

“ . . . that I will strive on to finish the work I am now doing, and continue to build rap- port with all people, and to do all things which achieve and cherish a just and lasting relationship between us.”

Poets, of course, have a strong bent for contemplation, and so often get to the very heart of the matter. I would like to read the following poem to you:

Florence Nightingale knocked at the Heavenly Gate, her face was scarred

and old. She stood before the Man of Fate for admission to the Fold.

What have you done, St. Peter asked, to gain admission here? I have

been an ORS for many and many a year. The Pearly Gates swung open wide

as St. Peter touched the bell. Come in and choose your harp, he said

You have had your share of hell!

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