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COMMUNICAT
ION
TH
E A
RT
OF
GE
TT
I NG
WH
AT
YO
U W
AN
T O
UT
OF
LI F
E
FOOD F
OR THOUGHT…
W H Y D O B A B I E S C RY ?
• They’re hungry or tired
• They need a diaper change
• It’s their way of
communicating
~Communications develops with
age
WHAT IS COMMUNICATION?
It’s the process of creating or sending
messages and evaluating or receiving
messages from others
Good communication = good corner stone to every
relationship
4 BASIC ELEMENTS OF COMMUNICATION
They are:
1. Communication
Channels
2. Participants
3. Timing
4. Use of Space
COMMUNICATION CHANNELS
It is the way in which a message is passed
or received
Example: Verbal Communication
Verbal Communication: spoken words
Nonverbal Communication: communication
without words but includes facial expressions
and body language
PARTICIPANTS
PEOPLE – You can’t talk to
yourself (well, you can but you
look CRAZY!)
Affects the quality of
communication
Provides balance in conversation
“Give-and-take” - one participant
must “give” or contribute, and the
other must “take” or act on the
opportunity to communicate
TIMING
It is when the sender or receiver focus on the
exchange
The right time to send affects how it is
received
Example:
If Jen is trying to talk to her mother about
going to a party Saturday night, and she
desperately wants a “yes.” She has to make
sure she asks at the exact right moment.
See below for example of timing
When her mom just came home from
work/half asleep = BAD!
When her mom is relaxed and listening =
GOOD!
USE OF SPACE
It is how the use of personal space can affect communicationPersonal topics and subjects require closer spacing in order to create an area of comfort
By maintaining your distance, (Personal space = 2-3 feet from someone) you establish a comfort level
If you invade someone’s personal space, they will be less inclined to communicateMakes them feel awkward or sometimes angry
LISTENING SKILLS
Passive listening is hearing what a person has to say and responding but not asking for more from the speaker, just letting them “vent”
Responses = huh, really, ok, no kidding, uh huh… (SIMPLE, but still listening)
Active listening is a communication technique and has the listener more engaged with the speaker, asking for more to really understand what they hear.
Responses = I didn’t know that; Then what happened; When that happened, how did you handle it; I remember when that happened to me I …, What do you want to do about that?
The ability to listen actively can improve your relationships with others and can also reduce
conflicts.
SPEAKING SKILLSAn I-message is an assertion about some ones
feelings, beliefs, and or values.Put more focus/blame on the speaker and are not threatening“I worry when you come home late because I think something bad has happened.”
A you-message is a message when a speaker denies responsibility for a situation by putting the blame on another person.
This is threatening to the other person, makes them uncomfortable, and can cause anger.“You’re always late and so irresponsible.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=96HHepwQpmA&feature=youtu.be
SPEAKING SKILLS CONTINUED
When someone is assertive, they show a confident and forceful personality.
They take responsibilities for their own actions and are very confident about themselves.
If a message was understood, the speaker will provide feedback to let the other person know that they are on the same page.
It can either be positive or negative. Negative would be not responding to them because you didn’t understand what they said, or just not making eye contact. Positive is showing that you are listening and understand them fully.
PROBLEMS IN COMMUNICATION
1.Difficult Subjects: - death, illness, sexuality, anything uncomfortable
2.Silence – not talking is not going to solve anything, however, not all silence is bad
The problems listed below are on the following slides and are not as simple so read carefully
3. Interference
4.Mixed Messages
5.Different Definitions
6.Thinking You Already Know (AKA mind reading)
JUST LISTEN
Interference Noises/items that cause
distractions TVLoud Music Dripping faucet
Mixed Messages Different messages are sent
over different channels at the same time
Nonverbal message reflects true feelings of speakerWhat you say doesn’t match
what you do – ask about day, do work/watch TV/text while “listening”
Different Definitions Some communication problems
occur because of different cultural/generational backgrounds
two people have different meanings for the same word(s)/phrase(s) – clean your room
Thinking You Already Know…
Assuming often leads to wrong conclusions
Mind reading can be another way to dominate another person or conversation
WRITTEN COMMUNICATIONS
Written communication = the ability to write effectively in both work and personal life.
Choose clear, precise words, try to avoid mixed messages.
Writing messages gives you time to chose your words wisely.
Writing in a journal will give you a chance to see another person’s point of view.
SPELL CHECK and EDITbefore sending/sharing
REVIEW
OF
CHAPTER 6
CA
N Y
OU
AN
SW
ER
TH
E F
OL
LO
WI N
G Q
UE
ST
I ON
S…
1. Why is communication so important to relationships?
2. How is it different in different relationships?
3. Why is timing so critical when you talk to someone? Give an example.
4. What is an appropriate distance from someone when talking with them? How does that distance change with the topic you are discussing?
5. When and why might verbal/face-to-face communication be better than nonverbal communication such as texting/email?
Answer the following questions in your notes –
be prepared to share your answers
1. Why is listening SUCH an important part of communication?
2. How are I-messages and You-messages different? Which is more effective?
3. How does quality feedback enhance a conversation?
4. What is the difference between Active and Passive listening? Give an example of each.
Answer the following questions in your notes –
be prepared to share your answers
