Commentary on Candidate Evidence English (National 5 ... · Commentary on Candidate Evidence English (National 5): Reading for Understanding, Analysis and Evaluation National 5 English

Commentary on Candidate Evidence

English (National 5): Reading for Understanding, Analysis and Evaluation

National 5 English Reading for Understanding, Analysis and Evaluation 2017

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Commentary on Candidate evidence

Candidate 5

The evidence for this candidate has achieved the following marks for each question of this course assessment component.

The candidate was awarded 17 marks.

Question 1


The reference to ‘game after game’ was awarded 1 mark, and the accompanying

comment ‘continuously played’ (from the end of the candidate’s answer) was also

given 1 mark.

Question 2


Bullet point one was given 1 mark for the idea of perseverance.

The candidate’s second bullet point is unfortunately a repeat of the first point

made, and was given 0 marks.

Point three ‘he wanted to play for the team so badly’ is a gloss of “yearned” and

covers the idea of Mark being keen to play for the team - this was given 1 mark.

In bullet point four, the candidate’s word, ‘pride’ shows understanding of the

“moment of glory” and, as the intensifier was already addressed in a previous

bullet point, the candidate was awarded 1 mark here.

Question 3


Bullet point one contains the idea of “very few succeed” and was given 1 mark.

Bullet point two, ‘many stages of filtering,’ is a gloss of “the sifting process

begins…” and was given 1 mark.

Points three to five collectively convey the idea of a small number making it “all

the way to the top flight.” 1 mark was awarded here.

Point six gained 0 marks.



Bullet point seven is a gloss of “Many struggle to cope with rejection,” and was

given 1 mark.

Point eight glosses the idea of depression, and was also given 1 mark.

Question 4

The candidate was awarded 1 mark.

The mark was given for the idea of multiplicity in ‘there are so many footballers

that have been turned away,’ but no mark can be awarded for the comment

about sand as the candidate’s meaning is not clear.

Subsequent comments are confused and gain no marks.

Question 5


‘Without losers, etc’ is a correct selection under sentence structure, and was

awarded 1 mark for the reference. No further mark was awarded for the

accompanying comment.

The candidate has then offered another feature of sentence structure and cannot

therefore gain further marks as the question required analysis of two different

language features.

Question 6


The comment ‘see through’ is a literal translation of “transparent” and shows no

understanding of meaning in this context. No marks were rewarded for ‘rewards

are real’ as the mark here was for the idea of chances rather than rewards being

widely available.

The final bullet point, however, offers a condensed answer and scores 2 marks

for the ideas that the most talented players succeed and that background is

irrelevant.

Question 7


In bullet point one, no marks were awarded for ‘put through school’ as this is not

the same idea as “who have done well at school.” In any case, candidates need

glosses of both ‘educated’ and ‘self-assured.’

At the end of the bullet point, 1 mark was awarded for ‘higher probability of being

greater at football.’ Point two is the idea of “long ago,” and was given 1 mark.

No marks were awarded for bullet points three or four. Point four is another

attempt to address the first bullet on the marking instructions, but the candidate

simply lifts from the passage.



Point five glosses “losing is essential” and was awarded 1 mark.

Point 6 is too reliant on lifts and was given 0 marks.

Question 8


The candidate offers no identification of feature of sentence structure and thus

there is no appropriate comment. 0 marks awarded.

Question 9


No selection is made from lines 60 – 64, and therefore no relevant explanation. 0

marks awarded.



Candidate 6 The evidence for this candidate has achieved the following marks for each question of this course assessment component.


Question 1


1 mark was given for the reference – ‘absorbing,’ and 1 mark was given for the

comment on ‘constant imersion.’

Question 2


In bullet point one, 1 mark was given for the idea of never been picked (‘wasn’t

good enough to join’).

In the second bullet point, the idea of perseverance clearly comes across – 1

mark.

In point three there is nothing on the intensity of Mark’s desire, and nothing on

getting in the team – 0 marks.

In the final bullet point there is no understanding of the moment of glory – 0

marks.

Question 3


In bullet point one, ‘they are constantly stressed,’ is sufficient for the idea of

anxiety – 1 mark.

In the second point, ‘can’t take not being selected’ is acceptable for the idea of

struggling to cope with rejection – 1 mark.

‘become more shy in failure’ clearly suggests understanding of loss of confidence

– 1 mark.

‘can become severely mentally broken’ contains the idea of depression – 1 mark.

In the fifth bullet point, the idea of the scouts causing nerves/pressure is

suggested by ‘they fear/respect the scouts’ - 1 mark.

The candidate’s final bullet point demonstrates a clear understanding of the idea

that selection starts early – 1 mark.



Question 4


0 marks were awarded for ‘miniscule’. However, 1 mark was awarded for

‘players…part of a huge body.’ No further mark was awarded because the

candidate does not go on to develop the point about the ‘chance of being

selected.’

Question 5


1 mark was given for the appropriate reference (‘natural selection’), and 1 mark

for a good analytical comment.

1 mark was awarded for the identification of a feature of sentence structure

(‘short sentence structure’), again 1 mark for the accompanying analytical

comment.

Question 6


The only correct material here is contained in bullet point two, which clearly

shows an understanding of “The best of the best shine through” – 1 mark.

Question 7


In the first bullet point, the candidate demonstrates understanding of “mind and

body grow together” with the statement that ‘our physicallity and intelligence are

connected and develop together’ – 1 mark.

The second bullet point shows understanding of the idea that losing is

necessary/natural – 1 mark.

Point three relies too heavily on lifts from the passage – 0 marks.

In bullet point four, the candidate comes close to the idea that we react to failure

is crucial, but there is not enough to gain a mark – 0 marks.

Point five is a sufficient gloss of ‘It is natural to be sad’ – 1 mark.

Question 8


1 mark for a correct identification of the feature of repetition.

1 mark for the relevant analytical comment.



Question 9


1 mark was given for a relevant selection.

1 mark was awarded for the comment which links the selection with specific

reference to a main idea of the passage.



Candidate 7



Question 1


1 mark for a correct reference. 1 mark for a good analysis of ‘deterred.’

Question 2


In bullet point one, ‘didn’t get selected’ is an acceptable gloss of “never made it

onto”, and was therefore given 1 mark. (There is no requirement for candidates

to gloss the word “team.”)

In the second bullet point, ‘trialed’ is too close to “kept going to the trials;”

therefore 0 marks.

In bullet point three, 1 mark was awarded for ‘so badly…become better.’ Note

that the candidate deals with the intensity implied by “yearned” here.

In point four, there is enough in ‘privileged’ to show that the candidate

understands the idea that Mark wanted his moment of glory - 1 mark.

Question 3


In bullet point one, ‘Only 2%’ shows understanding of the small number involved,

and was given 1 mark.

In the second bullet point, ‘rejection’ is a lift, but 1 mark was awarded for the idea

of ‘mental health damaged.’

In the third bullet there are too many lifts, and 0 marks were given.

In bullet point four, 1 mark was given for ‘quality is very good,’ which is a

sufficient gloss of “the standard was high.”

In the candidate’s fifth bullet point, 1 mark was awarded for the understanding

shown of the ‘nerve racking’ visit of the scouts.

In point six, 1 mark was given for ‘stage to stage gets smaller and smaller’ as it

indicates understanding of “only a handful were picked.”



Question 4


Multiplicity of the grains of sand – 1 mark. Multiplicity of players – 1 mark.

Question 5


For sentence structure, 1 mark was awarded for the reference ‘without

losers…evolution.’ The candidate then refers to a list, which is incorrect.

However, the candidate goes on to correctly observe that the writer shows the

need for the negatives to allow for the positives. This comment was given 1

mark.

For word choice, 1 mark was awarded for reference to ‘inevitable,’ and 1 mark

was awarded for the correct analytical comment on the suggestion that failure is

a certainty.

Question 6


In point one the candidate does not express a clear idea – 0 marks.

Point two is a condensed answer – ‘truly talented’ was given 1 mark for the idea

that most talented individuals do make it; ‘despite a hard background’ was given

1 mark for the notion of irrelevance of background.

In the candidate’s third point there were no marks for ‘no shortcuts,’ but 1 mark

was gained for ‘no help that will get you straight to your goal,’ as it addresses the

idea of a lack of nepotism.

Question 7


In point one the candidate has correctly glossed “self-assured” as ‘self

confidence’, has the qualitative comment of ‘good education’ – 1 mark. But

‘better at football’ is too close to the original text and therefore cannot gain a

second mark (for “perform more effectively.”)

In point two, there is too much reliance on lifted material – 0 marks.

The candidate’s third point ‘failing is natural,’ is an acceptable gloss of “losing is

an essential…part of life” and was given 1 mark.

Point four seems to be close to “pathway” from the passage, but there is enough

in the comment about failure allowing us to ‘start a new dream’ to be awarded 1

mark.



In point five the comment ‘it is normal to be unhappy’ is a gloss of “It is natural to

be sad,” and was awarded 1 mark.

Question 8


A correct reference was made: ‘a new dream, a new hope, a new way of finding

meaning.’ 1 mark was awarded here.

The candidate identifies this as a list, which was incorrect, but goes on to make

an acceptable analytical point: ‘to emphasise that failure is not the end.’ 1 mark

was given for this comment.

Question 9


The candidate made a correct selection: ‘Life is too short, too precious to be

derailed by failure. We have to accept it.’ – 1 mark.

The candidate states that there is a summarising function here, and goes on to

make a connection with a specific ‘main idea of the passage,’ that we should

welcome failure as it can be beneficial. 1 mark was awarded for this comment.



Candidate 8



Question 1


An appropriate reference ‘game after game’ was given 1 mark. The supporting

comment ‘play and play all day’ was also given 1 mark.

Question 2


The candidate’s use of own words is initially quite weak but 1 mark was awarded

for ‘never got into the team’ as there was not a requirement here to gloss “team”

1 mark was given for ‘never gave up’ as it addresses the idea of perseverance.

1 mark was awarded for ‘wanted to play so much…get better at football’ which is

a gloss of “yearned…to progress.”

1 mark was given for ‘ability sadly lacked what the teams were looking for,’ which

is a gloss of “he was just off the pace.”

Question 3


The first bullet point is an acceptable gloss of “struggle to cope with rejection,”

and was awarded 1 mark.

The candidate’s second bullet point relies too heavily on lifts and was awarded 0

marks. (‘serious things’ is an insufficient attempt to address mental health

issues.)

In the third bullet point ‘He was totally devestated’ glosses “I was crushed with

disappointment,” and was given 1 mark. In the same bullet point, an acceptable

gloss is also given of “…had only just started” – 1 mark awarded here.

No marks were awarded for the remainder of the points as too much is lifted from

the source text.

Question 4




The ‘just as…so…’ (in reverse) construction has been used effectively by the

candidate. Reference is made first to the fact that for ‘everyone 1 Premier league

player we watch there has been loads of people who have failed’ (1 mark). The

candidate then goes on to deal with ‘like grains of sand on the beach,’ adding the

acceptable comment that ‘there is so much and many of it’ (1 mark).

Question 5


For imagery, the candidate makes reference to a ‘race’. 1 mark was awarded for

reference here. The candidate’s supporting comment came earlier in the

response (‘He shows the stages of trialling on football’) – 1 mark.

The candidate then goes on to deal with sentence structure. Reference is made

to the short sentence ‘But this is failure.’ 1 mark was awarded for identification,

but there was insufficient analysis to award anything further.

Question 6


The first bullet was awarded 2 marks as two aspects of the answer are

successfully dealt with: irrelevance of background – 1 mark; ‘Their talent will

stand out.’ – 1 mark.

Question 7


The candidate’s first bullet point was given 0 marks because of a reliance on lifts

from the text.

In the second bullet point, 1 mark was awarded for ‘Failing…is tottally

devastating’, which is a gloss of “failing is crushing”. 1 mark was also awarded

for ‘it’s normal to feel this way,’ as it is an acceptable gloss of “It is natural to be

sad.”

Bullet point three contains a sufficient gloss of “failure…how we respond to it,”

and was given 1 mark.

In point four, there is a clear gloss of “youngsters who are educated and self-

assured” – 1 mark.

Point five contains a gloss of “The German football system has embraced this

truth.” 1 mark was given here.

Question 8

The candidate was awarded 0 marks as the candidate’s response did not

address a specific aspect of sentence structure.



Question 9


A relevant reference is provided (1 mark), but the candidate does not deal with

the passage’s effective conclusion.



Candidate evidence



Candidate 5













Candidate 6









Candidate 7











Candidate 8















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Commentary on Candidate Evidence English (National 5 ... · Commentary on Candidate Evidence English (National 5): Reading for Understanding, Analysis and Evaluation National 5 English