College Admissions Essay/ The Awakening (Final Discussion)Thursday October 6, 2015

QuizWhy does Edna cover Victor’s mouth at her dinner party?Who arrives at Mademoiselle Reisz’s apartment while Edna is waiting for her? What is Robert’s final action towards Edna?What happens at the end of the novella? Make sure to use evidence to defend your assertion.

HomeworkGrammar Portion: For those of you unsatisfied with your grammar quiz, I will award you half of the points you lost back if you do the following:For each questions that you missed (referring to the power point) write at least two sentences that articulate what you did wrong, and more importantly how to avoid the same mistake. You must do this for each question.

***There were be a parts of speech portion on your midterm.

Read Chapters 1-5 in Salinger’s Catcher in the Rye. Revision: Because the class did such a great job in the debate today, everyone only has to submit “Reflection 6 (with vocabulary portion and discussion questions)”- No Summary this week (unless you want the practice)For this week I want your reflection to be at least 1 ½ pages long. Focus on a conflict that you see emerging in the story.8 entries into your dialectical journal. Complete revision of the previous week’s summary/ reflection.

What Colleges Look AtFrom the Princeton Review:

High School GradesTest Scores

Since universities receive so many qualified students they also look at: The Essay (weighted differently at different

institutions) Extra Curricular Activities Letters of Recommendation***Do not forget about these other elements

What is a College Admissions Essay

Asking of YouThe main purpose of the college essay is for you to introduce yourself to the admissions board, and more importantly, separate yourself from the other admission essays.The central premise you must put forth is, “what sets you apart” as an important addition to the university to which you are applying. From the Princeton Review: “The best way to tell your story is to write a personal, thoughtful essay about something that has meaning for you. Be honest and genuine, and your unique qualities will shine through.”

WHAT IS UNIQUE AND SINGULAR ABOUT YOU?

Types of Essays According to the “College Board” these essays fall into three distinct categories:

1) “The ‘you’ question”

2) “The ‘why us’ question”

3) “The ‘creative’ question”

https://professionals.collegeboard.com/guidance/applications/essay

The “You” Question“This question boils down to ‘Tell us about yourself.’ The college wants to know students better and see how students introduce themselves.”This type of essay allows you to introduce yourself to the admissions board in a manner that goes beyond your transcript.

Example:  "The University of Vermont values a diverse student body. What contributions might you make to our campus community outside of academic achievement?”***How might you enrich the university community? What unique attributes can you bring to us?A story of perseverance can be used here.

The “Why Us” Prompt“Some institutions ask for an essay about a student's choice of a college or career. They're looking for information about the applicant's goals, and about how serious the student’s commitment is to this particular college.”This is a way for the university ( as well as you) to make sure you have made a thoughtful choice in applying to a specific university. As a side note, you should be picking a college because they offer a program (or professor) that is optimal for your career choice. Make sure that you information in factual. You would not want to attend UTEP for their breakthrough research on migratory patterns of sea manatees.

Example: “Why are you interested in attending the University of Texas at El Paso?”

Once again, make sure to do your research about the university you are applying for. Do not just try to flatter your audience.

The “Creative” Question“The goals of the ‘creative’ question are to evaluate a candidate's ability to think and write creatively and to assess the breadth of the student’s knowledge and education.”This type of question is asking you to show your individual personality most directly.Make sure to address the prompt, and make sure use “common sense.”

Example: “Sharing intellectual interests is an important aspect of university life. Describe an experience or idea that you find intellectually exciting, and explain why."

Other “creative” question examples.

"How do you feel about Wednesday?”- University of Chicago“"You have just completed your 300-page autobiography. Please submit page 217.”- University of Pennsylvania

Checklist of “Dos and Don’ts”

“Write about something that is important to you”“Don’t just recount but also reflect”

Just like you have been doing for the writing in this class, it is not sufficient to tell somebody why something happened, but you must so tell them why this matters; answer the question “so what.”o “What you write in your essay section

should not contradict any other point of the application, or repeat it”

DOS and DON’TS“Be an individual”- make sure that you come through in your own writing. This essay is all about introducing yourself. For this reason it is also ok to (in measured doses) to be controversial. It is ok to take a stand on an issue (as universities are intended to be institutions where a multiplicity of stances are accepted). Give your perspective but be respectful of other perspectives (if possible). DO NOT BE PRETENTIOUS. DO NOT GET ON A “SOAPBOX” AND PONTIFICATE.

****Your goal should be to distinguish yourself from the rest of the pack.

DOS AND DON’TS“ANSWER THE PROMPT!”“Have at least one other person look at your essay”“Don’t [completely] ‘thesaurize’ your college application essay. Make sure to write with your own voice. “Don’t bore the reader. Be interesting.”- to be clear this is not giving you permission to be dishonest“Be Honest”“Be concise”: “Even though the Common Application main essay has only a suggested minimum of 250 words, and no upper limit, every admissions officer has a big stack to read every day; he or she expects to spend only a couple of minutes on the essay. If you go over 700 words, you are straining their patience, which no one should want to do.”

DOS AND DONTS“Don’t use slang.”Use sentence variety and transitions. You should also not use complex sentence after complex sentence. Remember, a short sentence, used correctly, can be the most emotive device. Grammatical accuracy and strong writing fluency is important.“Being funny is tough [and also dangerous]”“Make sure your essay is coherent”- You cannot cover your entire life in 700 words. Your reviewers don’t expect this. Be specific and be organized.

DOS AND DON’TS“Be Accurate”- Make sure you have done your due diligence in fact checking “Be Vivid”- Make sure you use detail. Remember, you are telling your audience a story and sharing an anecdote from your life (in most cases). Paint the picture clearly for them.“Be Likeable”- Make sure you are subtle, though. You are trying to show why you would be a positive addition to this community.

DOS AND DON’TS“BE SMART”- Show your viability as an intellectual being!Take ample time in crafting your drafts: revise, revise, revise, and when you think you are done, revise again.

Checklist of “Dos and Don’ts”

This list is an amalgamation from the following websites:http://www.usnews.com/education/blogs/professors-guide/2010/09/15/10-tips-for-writing-the-college-application-essayhttp://www.princetonreview.com/college-advice/college-essayhttps://www.petersons.com/college-search/application-essay-tips.aspx

From The Harvard Education Letter

Know your audience:“The essays are not read by tyrants with red pencils, they are read by harassed admissions officers who are looking for an impression. That impression is mostly emotional. The reader of your essay is reaching a [mostly] emotional conclusion about YOU”Myth: Relax and Be Yourself:“Painting and acting are things that anyone can ‘sort of’ do but which require practice and training to do well. So is writing. You have to earn relaxation. You'll start to relax when you feel secure. That usually means after you have written several drafts, and someone knowledgeable has guided you through them.”

“Who is yourself? We all have several selves…You have to make a strategic decision. You should be a considered and well executed version of one of your better selves. Which self? The self which is best able to get the job done--the self which can present you as unique and passionate about something important.”It seems important, from this advice, that one make effective use of the rhetorical appeals. Who is your audience, what is your purpose, how do you make yourself seem credible and viable (ethos), how do you use emotion appeal to make your audience “like” you (pathos), and how are you using organization and focus to make sure you are successful (logos)?

Two important rhetorical choices you can make are the following:

Use Dialogue (quotes used much like storytelling):Example: “ ‘Alex,’ Mrs. Von Crabbe would say, ‘the concert is starting even so before you sit down on the bench.’ She had told us the first day never to call her Mrs. Von Crabbe Apple ‘even with my back in the behind.’ But how could we? We loved and feared her too much.”

Be Specific- “I grew it up in a small town in the southwest” v. “I grew up in El Paso, TX, a small town in the southwest.”

Sample College Essayshttp://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2014/10/20/college-application-essayhttp://www.accepted.com/college/sampleessays.aspx

These are some sample essays for you to look at, though remember other future college students use these. You need to go a step beyond these and make them stronger (unique, interesting, separate you from the rest of the pack).

What the admissions board doesn't’t want to

see.They do not want to see my ideas in your work. Your voice and your individuality is what is being investigated. Thus: I will help answer your questions about the clarification of the prompt, and I will only look at complete (or nearly complete drafts) and give you feedback.

***I am here to help, of course, but we want to ensure that your voice is what is coming through in this writing. Your individuality is an important element in the creation of these documents.

Sample Essay"Sarah, we need your help in Ukraine this summer. Can I count on you?" This question changed my life profoundly. I was asked to be a counselor on JOLT, Jewish Overseas Leadership Program, an opportunity to interact with young campers in an impoverished country and positively influence their lives. Little did I realize that this experience would impact mine so greatly.”

“JOLT, an outreach program, runs an annual overnight summer camp in Ukraine with counselors from the United States and Israel. These counselors are carefully selected because of the rigorous programming and the many physical hardships of living in Ukraine. Over one hundred local children come to Charkov to learn about their Jewish background. As one of the counselors, I had the privilege and extraordinary task of exposing them to the beauty of our religion and heritage.”

“I remember the anxiety and excitement that I felt as I exited the plane with twenty other high school students, embarking on my summer teaching experience, wondering if I was fully prepared. The moment the busloads of children arrived, I attached myself to a group of kids and started singing and dancing with them. Despite my initial fears, we began to form a bond. My role changed from that of a teenager to that of a responsible counselor. Not only was I here to teach them about Judaism through classes and activities, but more importantly I was acting as a role model. For the majority of Ukrainian children, we were the first Americans they had ever met and, therefore, were watched vigilantly and constantly emulated. This humbling realization made me feel rather self-conscious at first. However, their desire to imitate also heightened the impact of that which we taught them. They wanted to learn. Although an immense language barrier lay between the campers and me, we managed to communicate through translators, hand signals, songs, and broken English and Russian.”

“With the help of a book that contained both the Hebrew and Russian, I taught Hebrew to a group of ten children who had never before been exposed to Judaism. Glieb, a ten-year old boy rapidly rose to the top of the class. In addition to the mandatory hours of daily learning, he was motivated to extend these sessions. So often at night after the fun and entertainment, he and I would practice reading Hebrew and we discussed, in simple terms, aspects of Jewish ritual that fascinated him. It was with Glieb that I formed the deepest bond, one that relied not only on talking, for he spoke only a minimal amount of English, but rather on demonstrating our fondness through actions.”

“A few days before the end of camp, in broken English, Glieb explained that he had been working endlessly on a present for me. Similarly I had been trying to decide on something that I could give him. After hours of pondering, I decided to give Glieb what was most dear to me, my siddur (prayer book), which I had received upon entering sixth grade. I felt it appropriate to present him with his very first prayer book. For hours I decorated and transliterated the main prayers and on the last day of camp, before the kids left, we exchanged presents. He gave me his favorite key-chain of the "Sylvester" cartoon with an attached lanyard that he had made. Never had a gift had such a startling effect on me; I burst into tears. I handed him my siddur, and he stood there for a moment staring at his gift, and I at mine. Tears welled in his eyes as he continued to look at the siddur. I knew that he truly understood the significance of our exchange. We hugged goodbye, and I will never forget the feeling of his arms entwined around me with the siddur pressed against my back.”

“Who would have thought that I would go to Ukraine, make such a strong impression on the lives of a group of children and impact my own? The campers' naive yet deep questioning took me on a journey of self-discovery as I reexamined my own beliefs and practices in a foreign environment, spiritually void and materially deprived. This defining experience also taught me that I can make a difference. By continuing to work with people in my professional life as a nurse, I will be extending the passions I discovered during my summer experience. Just as I answered the call for help in Ukraine, I intend to respond to future calls for help — with action, kindness, and caring.”

Rules for Our DebateYou must demonstrate good countering etiquette: You don’t attack anyone’s perspective, but rather, you see where their perspective might have validity and then counter.You must use textual evidence to back up every assertion.You cannot interrupt anyone. Only one person can speak at a time. If you interrupt once you will be warned. The second time you will be ejected from the discussion and will write a five page paper on the importance of respectful discussion.

Everyone must speak.Winner of the debate only has to do the reflection portion (no summary), and yes this means you have to complete the vocabulary and discussion questions portion.