3 Year Olds
3 Year Olds Physical Development
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\* MERGEFORMATINET
Climbs upstairs and downstairs without supportThrows a ball
overhandMoves forward and backward with agilityRides a tricycle;
pedalsImproved small motor control such as holds pencil and
utensils wellCan dress and undress self (may need help with
zippers, buttons)Builds a tower of more than six blocksIdeas For
ParentsBe patient with toilet training. Accidents may still occur
for a while.Encourage independence. Buy clothes that your child can
pull on and off.Play make-believe with your child. Encourage a
creative imagination.Allow your child to help with chores, putting
toys and clothes away, clearing the table and making the bed.Teach
your child his first and last name.Read to your child and encourage
your child to tell your stories.Play outside (throw and catch
balls, ride a tricycle, play in a sand box). Encourage physical
activity.Allow times for your child to finger-paint, draw on paper
and other art activities.Let your child brush her teeth every
dayGive your child choices and let him choose.Encourage your child
to count items, name counting (may know some numbers)Cognitive
DevelopmentDraws crude, but recognizable picturesCopies shapes
(e.g. circles and squares)Speaks clearly enough that strangers can
understandSpeaks in sentences of 3-5 wordsCorrectly names some
colorsBegins to understand concept of objects and tell what color
things are.Listens to and recalls parts of a storyHas mastered some
basic rules of grammar (e.g. plurals)Social DevelopmentCooperates
with other childrenIncreasingly inventive in make-believe
playBecomes more independentAssumes a gender identityUses words to
express emotionsWhat To Expect: SharingSharing is an important
skill to be mastered. Although preschool children are egocentric by
nature, at age three, they can begin to understand the concept of
sharing. Learning to share does not come naturally, but you can
help your child learn.Tips to Encourage SharingDo not force your
child to share. When friends come to play, help put away the
special toys your child does not want to share.Help your child
select "share toys" that won't break or get used up.Buy or collect
toys that are good for sharing such as construction sets, blocks,
swings, slides, puzzles, toy telephones and tea sets. When there
are plenty of items to go around, it is easier to share.Model
sharing. Offer to share with your child. Ask your child to share
and give praise for being a good sharer.Play games which require
taking turns and cooperation.Don't expect perfection. Learning to
share takes time and practice.Toysmake-believe props (dress-up
clothes, play kitchen items, etc.)puppets, dollsriding toys,
tricycleballs of all sizesplay dough, crayons, paint, paint
brushes, chalk, etc.large piece puzzles (3-6 pieces)booksmusic
tapes, tape player4 Year Olds
Physical DevelopmentRuns, jumps, hops, somersaults, may be able
to skipThrows and catches a ballSwings and climbsCuts on a
lineCopies geometric shapes (circles, squares, triangles,
etc.)Draws a person with some body partsDresses and undresses by
selfUsually toilet-trained completelyUses fork, spoon and dinner
knife without assistanceBrushes teethIdeas For ParentsRead to your
child every day. Visit your local library and encourage your child
to choose books. Encourage your child to tell you stories.Say
nursery rhymes and fingerplays together. Sing songs.Allow your
child to practice writing. Have your child copy shapes, letters and
numbers.Foster your child's creativity by allowing her to paint and
color. Provide materials such as play dough, chalk, glue and
crayons. Allow your child to use scraps to make collages.Praise
your child's accomplishments. Foster independence by encouraging
self-reliance.Encourage physical activity by playing follow the
leader (run, jump, hop, skip and swing).Provide multicultural
experiences and foster an attitude of acceptance for
diversity.Expand dramatic play by providing a variety of props for
themes such as grocery store, beauty salon, restaurant and birthday
parties.Cognitive DevelopmentRecalls parts of a story, tells own
storySays name and addressCan count ten or more objectsCorrectly
names at least four colorsCombines two or more sentencesUnderstands
meanings of wordsMakes of words and rhymesAsks questions (Why?
How?)Follows simple rulesSocial and Emotional DevelopmentLikes to
imagine and is able to distinguish fantasy from realityLikes to
sing, dance and actIs able to play with a groupMore likely to agree
to rules, can begin to understand gamesLearns to express
sympathyShares with othersSeeks out playmatesShows more
independenceAware of sexualityWhat To Expect: School
ReadinessSuccess in school readiness involves good health, being
socially and emotionally mature, having good language, problem
solving and creative thinking skills, and a general knowledge about
the world.Prepare your Child by Focusing OnPhysical Well-Being: Be
sure your child eats nutritious meals and gets plenty of sleep and
exercise. Regular medical care and immunizations are important.
Regular dental checkups should begin at age three.Social and
Emotional Preparation: Children are often not socially and
emotionally mature when they enter kindergarten, but it is
important that they have an opportunity to begin developing
confidence, motivation, independence, curiosity, persistence,
cooperation, self-control and empathy. You can help your child by
setting good examples (e.g. treating everyone with respect and
sharing). Your child will also know if you have a positive attitude
toward learning and school. Encourage self-reliance to foster
independence. Provide chances for your child to socialize with
other children and adults who are not family members. Language and
General KnowledgeIt is important for children to learn to solve
problems and communicate with others. You can help foster these
skills by providing opportunities to play, answering questions and
listening to your child. Reading aloud and monitoring television
viewing are also important.School readiness depends on a
combination of many aspects of child development. It does not mean
your child needs to know the alphabet, colors, shapes, numbers and
how to read.Toysdolls, puppetsballstrucks, tractors,
trainsblocksdramatic play propsblunt scissors, washable markers,
crayons, paintsewing cardssimple board gamesbooksplay
doughDisciplining Bad Behavior Every child displays behavior
difficulties at some time or another, expressing anxiety at
different situations or behaving in a manner that is unacceptable
to others.
Very often, "bad" behavior has no deep rooted psychological
cause. In some cases, the child is simply too young to appreciate
what is being done wrong. Sometimes, a child's difficult behavior
is part of a general developmental pattern, temper tantrums or the
terrible two stage, plays a vital part in the emotional development
of a toddler. In older children, high spirits and a love of fun and
adventure may lead to trouble and clashes with authority that the
child never really intended.
In other cases; however, a child's difficult behavior may derive
from emotional disturbance, either a temporary upset or a longer
term more serious problem.
A variety of emotional problems may be found to lie behind a
child's behavioral difficulties. Among the most common are:
insecurity resulting from family disharmony or a broken home,
jealously of another member of the family, lack of affection,
disfigurement or disability, over rigid discipline at home or at
school, fear of failure or feelings of guilt, whether real or
imaginary. Sometimes emotional problems resulting in behavioral
difficulties proves too deep rooted to be identified and treated by
the parents alone. In these cases, a professional counselor, social
worker or psychologist should provide the child with the guidance
they seek.DisciplineA child's first experience of discipline
usually comes from within the family. A parent's aim should be to
give the child guidance about standards of behavior, encourage them
to learn self control and help them acquire a sense of
responsibility in maturity.
Lack of parental discipline may cause a child to become insecure
and confused as they discover that their behavior at home is not
tolerated outside the family. Excessively strict discipline, risks
curbing a child's spirit of adventure and may cause him to become
fearful of ever trying anything new. In some cases, unnecessarily
harsh restrictions on freedom in early childhood lead to open and
complete rebellion against authority later on.
Disciplining children is simply not a matter of giving out
punishments, although even the most peace-loving parent will feel
that some form of punishment is necessary. In fact, one of the most
important elements in discipline is parental example: children
learn more from modeling their parents than they do from raised
voices or corporal punishment.
Expectations about a child's behavior must always be in line
with the abilities of the child at different ages. It is useless,
for example, to expect a one year old to feed himself without a
mess.
It is also essential to remember to treat each child as an
individual. Even within the same family, children have very
different temperaments and require varying methods of disciplinary
guidance.Methods of DisciplineAs society changes it views on child
discipline, the methods of reinforcing proper behavior has changed
as well. No longer is corporal punishment (spanking) favored as a
method of discipline. Usually this measure is of a last resort for
parent's who are frustrated with the behavioral difficulties of
their child. Today, parents are using the methods of "timing out"
as a way to discipline their children. For children two and under,
the value of a time-out comes in the first few seconds that you've
disrupted the inappropriate activity. Usually for this age group
nothing beats close supervision, distraction or ignoring minor
misdeeds. With preschoolers, calling a time-out may end undesirable
behavior but it shouldn't be used as your first resort. Redirecting
your child to appropriate behavior is often all that is necessary.
Not only are these measures effective, they're far less likely to
cause a scene and far more logical than going straight to a
time-out. The classic time-out usually requires placing a child in
a boring corner and ignoring them as not to reinforce bad behavior.
The time should be one minute for every year of age your child is,
for example if your child is 6 years old, the required time-out
would be six minutes long. However, keep in mind that solitary
confinement simply doesn't provide a good model of problem solving.
It sends a message that whenever your child gets upset or angry,
they should be isolated. Another method of time-out is not to
banish your child, but to go with them. They'll get the idea that
there are certain things they are not allowed to have or do, but
your children will also know that they have someone who cares about
them. Giving a time-out for a few minutes may indeed give the child
a moment to regain self-control but also make a point of giving
your child a second chance to do whatever they were doing wrong and
do it right. Repetition is usually the best parenting method, as
children absorb rules gradually, and because they are constantly
growing and changing, they'll constantly test new limits. Remember,
a time-out wasn't designed to be a cure-all. Just another
disciplinary strategy at parent's disposal.How to Stop Bad Behavior
Before it Starts:Five suggestions for a parenting action planKatie
Basson, B.A., M.A.T.September 22, 2004
Coping with a child's bad behavior, perhaps more than any other
aspect of parenting, can cause stress, family dysfunction, and a
general loss of harmony in your home. Over time, negative behavior
cycles can become ingrained in a family's way of interacting with
each other. It is important to stop negative behavior cycles before
this happens, so it is always good to have a plan for keeping
balance and harmony in your family. Take some time to develop a
parenting action plan. Follow these few steps to develop your
framework, and then you'll have the clarity you need to stay on
track.
1. Be a Benevolent DictatorIn today's times it is tempting to
think of our family as a small democracy, giving equal weight to
the wants and needs of every member. This approach belies the fact
that we parents usually have decades more life experience than our
children, we have had more education, and we are more mature
(hopefully). In short, we should be the ones in charge. Contrary to
what children might say, they in fact, want us to be in charge.
They know better than anyone what their limitations are, and if
they are given too much responsibility, it scares them. Imagine how
you would feel if you were suddenly put in charge of a small
country in a foreign land. You might feel powerful, but I dare say,
you wouldn't feel secure. It's like being the captain of a sailboat
and not knowing how to sail. Eventually you would run aground.
Research has shown that in order to raise well-adjusted kids,
parents need to be authoritative. Authoritative parents were
described as people whose motto is, "I love and respect you, but
since I am the parent, you have to do what I say regardless of
whether you agree with me." Taking this type of approach with your
child ensures that they know they are loved, and that they will be
saved from making bad choices because they have a parent looking
out for them. Setting limits for your kids makes the world more
manageable for them. They feel safer knowing what the boundaries
are, and in knowing that they have your help to stay within
them.
2. Consistency is KeyChoose a small number of rules that are
absolute and stick to them! These rules should be non-negotiable
and carry with them clear and immediate consequences if they are
broken. In my family, rules about safety are set in stone. If you
ride your bike without a helmet, you lose bike privileges for a
week. No exceptions. This way I know my child is always going to
wear his helmet, and I save myself the hassle of arguing with him
each day after school about whether he can ride his bike without
it.
A psychologist I know stated that the surest way to have kids
who misbehave is to be inconsistent. By having limits that are
fluid and that change depending on circumstances, kids spend most
of their time with you testing those limits. They know that sooner
or later, they'll wear you out, and they'll get what they want. So,
if you want to be worn out day after day, then the secret is to be
wishy-washy about rules. If you don't want to battle day after day
with your kids, then set a good rule and stand by it!
3. Know Your ChildEvery child has a unique style which includes
his/her own set of triggers for bad behavior. For my son,
transitions always cause him to become unglued. A temper tantrum
always ensued at the end of play dates, the beginning of a school
day, or the call to the dinner table. So, I learned early on that
to avoid that type of misbehavior, I needed to be savvy about
transitions. I give plenty of warning before a transition, and I
usually sweeten the deal to make it easier. For example, I play his
favorite music in the car on the way to school so that he focuses
on looking forward to his songs rather than his nerves about having
to leave the house and head to class.
Your child might have similar issues with transitions, or she
may act up when tired or hungry. Your child might feel
uncomfortable in crowds, be afraid of loud noises, or become easily
overwhelmed in stores. By knowing your child's triggers for bad
behavior, you'll know what to avoid. For those things you can't
avoid, you'll at least be able to develop helpful strategies for
coping with problems.
4. Know YourselfIn addition to being in tune with your child's
style, you need to be aware of what your particular needs are. It
will always lead to trouble if you expect lots of peace and quiet
after work, but your kids need your help with homework and a ride
to soccer. If you are tense and irritable, it will most certainly
translate to misbehavior in your kids. Busy schedules rarely enable
parents to have a peaceful dinner hour, but perhaps you can insist
on twenty minutes to unwind in your room before you join the fray
downstairs. My mother made a rule that we couldn't ask anything of
her until she had changed into her jeans. That was our signal that
she had decompressed after work and was ready to engage in the
family hubbub.
5. Pay AttentionChildren often misbehave simply to get their
parents' attention. Though it confounds adults, children would
rather be yelled at than be ignored. Perhaps it is Darwinian-in the
wild, to be ignored by a parent meant that you weren't safe.
Whatever its origin, this aspect of child-rearing can be especially
trying. Negative cycles can so easily begin by a child learning
that acting up is the surest way to get a parent's attention. The
only way to avoid this is to lavish love and attention on your
children when they are behaving well. Enjoy their company and play
games with them. Praise them with words and gestures often. Reward
your child with special activities with you-not with toys and
treats. If you sense that your children are acting up more than
they should, then that is a sign that you need to stop waiting for
your children to misbehave before you give them your attention.
With all the love and attention from you that they need, there
won't be many reasons to misbehave!
Katie Basson is a parent, teacher, and creator of The BITs Kit
Better Behavior Kit for Kids. Katie teaches seminars on behavior
modification techniques, and assists parents through challenging
behavioral and educational issues. She serves on the Board of
Directors of the YWCA and is an educational advisor to Zoesis,
Inc., a children's software company. Katie's expert advice has been
sought for articles in The Boston Globe and Parents Magazine. Sign
up for her biweekly Parenting Solutions newsletter
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