You, wh

o are blessed with

shade as w

ell as light, you, w

ho are

gifted with

two eyes, en

dowed w

ith a kn

owledge of perspec-

tive, and ch

armed w

ith th

e enjoym

ent of various colours, you,

wh

o can actually SE

E an

angle, an

d contem

plate the com

plete circum

ference of a C

ircle in th

e happy region

of the T

hree

Dim

ension

s—h

ow sh

all I make it clear to you th

e extreme dif-

ficulty w

hich

we in

Flatland experien

ce in recogn

izing on

e an-

other’s con

figuration

?

Recall w

hat I told you above. A

ll beings in

Flatland, an

imate

and in

anim

ate, no m

atter wh

at their form

, present T

O O

UR

V

IEW

the sam

e, or nearly th

e same, appearan

ce, viz. that of

a straight L

ine. H

ow th

en can

one be distin

guished from

an-

other, w

here all appear th

e same?

Th

e answ

er is threefold. T

he fi

rst mean

s of recognition

is the

sense of h

earing; w

hich

with

us is far more h

ighly developed

than

with

you, and w

hich

enables us n

ot only to distin

guish

by the voice of our person

al friends, but even

to discrimin

ate betw

een differen

t classes, at least so far as concern

s the th

ree low

est orders, the E

quilateral, the Square, an

d the Pen

tagon—

for the Isosceles I take n

o account. B

ut as we ascen

d the social

scale, the process of discrim

inatin

g and bein

g discrimin

ated by h

earing in

creases in diffi

culty, partly because voices are assimi-

lated, partly because the faculty of voice-discrim

ination

is a ple-beian

virtue not m

uch developed am

ong th

e Aristocracy. A

nd

wh

erever there is an

y danger of im

posture we can

not trust to

this m

ethod. A

mon

gst our lowest orders, th

e vocal organs are

developed to a degree more th

an correspon

dent w

ith th

ose of

hearin

g, so that an

Isosceles can easily feign

the voice of a Poly-

gon, an

d, with

some train

ing, th

at of a Circle h

imself. A

second

meth

od is therefore m

ore comm

only resorted to.

FEE

LIN

G is, am

ong our W

omen

and low

er classes—about our

upper classes I shall speak presen

tly—th

e principal test of rec-

ognition

, at all events betw

een stran

gers, and w

hen

the ques-

tion is, n

ot as to the in

dividual, but as to the class. W

hat th

ere-fore “in

troduction” is am

ong th

e high

er classes in Spacelan

d, th

at the process of “feelin

g” is with

us. “Permit m

e to ask you to feel an

d be felt by my frien

d Mr. So-an

d-so”—is still, am

ong

the m

ore old-fashion

ed of our country gen

tlemen

in districts

remote from

town

s, the custom

ary formula for a Flatlan

d in-

troduction. B

ut in th

e town

s, and am

ong m

en of busin

ess, the

words “be felt by” are om

itted and th

e senten

ce is abbreviated to, “L

et me ask you to feel M

r. So-and-so”; alth

ough it is as-

sumed, of course, th

at the “feelin

g” is to be reciprocal. Am

ong

our still more m

odern an

d dashin

g young gen

tlemen

—w

ho are

extremely averse to superfl

uous effort and suprem

ely indiffer-

ent to th

e purity of their n

ative language—

the form

ula is still furth

er curtailed by the use of “to feel” in

a techn

ical sense,

mean

ing,

“to recom

men

d-for-the-purposes-of-feelin

g-and-be-

ing-felt”; an

d at this m

omen

t the “slan

g” of polite or fast society in

the upper classes san

ctions such

a barbarism as “M

r. Smith

, perm

it me to feel M

r. Jones.”

Let n

ot my R

eader how

ever suppose that “feelin

g” is with

us the

tedious process that it w

ould be with

you, or that w

e fin

d it nec-

essary to feel right roun

d all the sides of every in

dividual before

we determine the class to which he belongs. Long practice and training, begun in the schools and continued in the ex-perience of daily life, enable us to discriminate at once by the sense of touch, between the angles of an equal-sided Trian-gle, Square, and Pentagon; and I need not say that the brain-less vertex of an acute-angled Isosceles is obvious to the dull-est touch. It is therefore not necessary, as a rule, to do more than feel a single angle of an individual; and this, once ascer-tained, tells us the class of the person whom we are address-ing, unless indeed he belongs to the higher sections of the nobility. There the difficulty is much greater. Even a Master of Arts in our University of Wentbridge has been known to confuse a ten-sided with a twelve-sided Polygon; and there is hardly a Doctor of Science in or out of that famous Univer-sity who could pretend to decide promptly and unhesitatingly between a twenty-sided and a twenty-four sided member of the Aristocracy.

Those of my readers who recall the extracts I gave above from the Legislative code concerning Women, will readily perceive that the process of introduction by contact requires some care and discretion. Otherwise the angles might inflict on the un-wary Feeling irreparable injury. It is essential for the safety of the Feeler that the Felt should stand perfectly still. A start, a fidgety shifting of the position, yes, even a violent sneeze, has been known before now to prove fatal to the incautious, and to nip in the bud many a promising friendship. Especially is this true among the lower classes of the Triangles. With them, the eye is situated so far from their vertex that they can scarce-

ly take cognizance of what goes on at that extremity of their frame. They are, moreover, of a rough coarse nature, not sen-sitive to the delicate touch of the highly organized Polygon. What wonder then if an involuntary toss of the head has ere now deprived the State of a valuable life!

I have heard that my excellent Grandfather—one of the least irregular of his unhappy Isosceles class, who indeed obtained, shortly before his decease, four out of seven votes from the Sanitary and Social Board for passing him into the class of the Equal-sided—often deplored, with a tear in his vener-able eye, a miscarriage of this kind, which had occurred to his great-great-great-Grandfather, a respectable Working Man with an angle or brain of 59 degrees 30 minutes. According to his account, my unfortunately Ancestor, being afflicted with rheumatism, and in the act of being felt by a Polygon, by one sudden start accidentally transfixed the Great Man through the diagonal and thereby, partly in consequence of his long imprisonment and degradation, and partly because of the moral shock which pervaded the whole of my Ancestor’s rela-tions, threw back our family a degree and a half in their ascent towards better things. The result was that in the next genera-tion the family brain was registered at only 58 degrees, and not till the lapse of five generations was the lost ground recov-ered, the full 60 degrees attained, and the Ascent from the Isosceles finally achieved. And all this series of calamities from one little accident in the process of Feeling.

As this point I think I hear some of my better educated read

ers

excl

aim

, “H

ow c

ould

you

in F

latl

and

know

an

yth

ing

abou

t an

gles

an

d de

gree

s, o

r m

inut

es?

We

SEE

an

an

gle,

bec

ause

we,

in

the

regi

on o

f Sp

ace,

can

see

tw

o st

raig

ht

lines

incl

ined

to

one

an-

oth

er; b

ut y

ou, w

ho

can

see

not

hin

g bu

t on

str

aigh

t lin

e at

a ti

me,

or

at

all

even

ts o

nly

a n

umbe

r of

bit

s of

str

aigh

t lin

es a

ll in

on

e st

raig

ht

line,

—h

ow c

an y

ou e

ver

disc

ern

an

an

gle,

an

d m

uch

les

s re

gist

er a

ngl

es o

f dif

fere

nt s

izes

?”

I an

swer

th

at t

hou

gh w

e ca

nn

ot S

EE

an

gles

, we

can

IN

FER

th

em,

and

this

wit

h g

reat

pre

cisi

on.

Our

sen

se o

f to

uch

, st

imul

ated

by

nec

essi

ty, a

nd

deve

lope

d by

lon

g tr

ain

ing,

en

able

s us t

o di

stin

guis

h

angl

es fa

r m

ore

accu

rate

ly th

an y

our

sen

se o

f sig

ht,

wh

en u

nai

ded

by a

rul

e or

mea

sure

of

angl

es.

Nor

mus

t I

omit

to

expl

ain

th

at

we

hav

e gr

eat

nat

ural

hel

ps. I

t is

wit

h u

s a

Law

of

Nat

ure

that

th

e br

ain

of

the

Isos

cele

s cl

ass

shal

l be

gin

at

hal

f a

degr

ee,

or t

hir

ty

min

utes

, an

d sh

all i

ncr

ease

(if

it in

crea

ses

at a

ll) b

y h

alf

a de

gree

in

eve

ry g

ener

atio

n u

nti

l th

e go

al o

f 60

deg

rees

is r

each

ed, w

hen

th

e co

ndi

tion

of

serf

dom

is

quit

ted,

an

d th

e fr

eem

an e

nte

rs t

he

clas

s of

Reg

ular

s.

Con

sequ

entl

y, N

atur

e h

erse

lf s

uppl

ies

us w

ith

an

asc

endi

ng

scal

e or

Alp

hab

et o

f an

gles

for

hal

f a

degr

ee u

p to

60

degr

ees,

Spe

ci-

men

of

wh

ich

are

pla

ced

in e

very

Ele

men

tary

Sch

ool

thro

ugh

out

the

lan

d. O

win

g to

occ

asio

nal

ret

rogr

essi

ons,

to st

ill m

ore

freq

uen

t m

oral

an

d in

telle

ctua

l sta

gnat

ion

, an

d to

the

extr

aord

inar

y fe

cun

-di

ty o

f th

e C

rim

inal

an

d Va

gabo

nd

clas

ses,

th

ere

is a

lway

s a

vast

su

perfl

uity

of i

ndi

vidu

als o

f th

e h

alf d

egre

e an

d si

ngl

e de

gree

cla

ss,

and

a fa

ir a

bun

dan

ce o

f Sp

ecim

ens

up t

o 10

deg

rees

. T

hes

e ar

e ab

solu

tely

des

titu

te o

f ci

vil

righ

ts;

and

a gr

eat

num

ber

of t

hem

, n

ot h

avin

g ev

en in

telli

gen

ce e

nou

gh f

or t

he

purp

oses

of

war

fare

, ar

e de

vote

d by

th

e St

ates

to

the

serv

ice

of e

duca

tion

. Fe

tter

ed

imm

ovab

ly so

as t

o re

mov

e al

l pos

sibi

lity

of d

ange

r, th

ey a

re p

lace

d in

the

clas

sroo

ms

of o

ur I

nfa

nt S

choo

ls, a

nd

ther

e th

ey a

re u

tiliz

ed

by t

he

Boa

rd o

f E

duca

tion

for

th

e pu

rpos

e of

im

part

ing

to t

he

offs

prin

g of

th

e M

iddl

e C

lass

es t

he

tact

an

d in

telli

gen

ce w

hic

h

thes

e w

retc

hed

cre

atur

es th

emse

lves

are

utt

erly

dev

oid.

In s

ome

Stat

es t

he

Spec

imen

s ar

e oc

casi

onal

ly f

ed a

nd

suff

ered

to

exi

st f

or s

ever

al y

ears

; bu

t in

th

e m

ore

tem

pera

te a

nd

bett

er

regu

late

d re

gion

s, it

is f

oun

d in

th

e lo

ng

run

mor

e ad

van

tage

ous

for

the

educ

atio

nal

in

tere

sts

of t

he

youn

g, t

o di

spen

se w

ith

foo

d,

and

to r

enew

th

e Sp

ecim

ens

ever

y m

onth

—w

hic

h is

abo

ut t

he

av-

erag

e du

rati

on o

f th

e fo

odle

ss e

xist

ence

of

the

Cri

min

al c

lass

. In

th

e ch

eape

r sc

hoo

ls, w

hat

is g

ain

ed b

y th

e lo

nge

r ex

iste

nce

of

the

Spec

imen

is lo

st, p

artl

y in

th

e ex

pen

ditu

re f

or f

ood,

an

d pa

rtly

in

the

dim

inis

hed

acc

urac

y of

th

e an

gles

, w

hic

h a

re i

mpa

ired

aft

er

a fe

w w

eeks

of

con

stan

t “f

eelin

g.”

Nor

mus

t w

e fo

rget

to

add,

in

en

umer

atin

g th

e ad

van

tage

s of

th

e m

ore

expe

nsi

ve s

yste

m,

that

it

ten

ds,

thou

gh s

ligh

tly

yet

perc

epti

bly,

to

the

dim

inut

ion

of

the

redu

nda

nt I

sosc

eles

pop

ulat

ion

—an

obj

ect w

hic

h e

very

sta

tesm

an

in F

latl

and

con

stan

tly

keep

s in

vie

w. O

n t

he

wh

ole

ther

efor

e—al

-th

ough

I a

m n

ot ig

nor

ant

that

, in

man

y po

pula

rly

elec

ted

Sch

ool

Boa

rds,

th

ere

is a

rea

ctio

n i

n f

avou

r of

“th

e ch

eap

syst

em”

as i

t is

ca

lled—

I am

mys

elf

disp

osed

to

thin

k th

at t

his

is o

ne

of t

he

man

y ca

ses

in w

hic

h e

xpen

se is

the

true

st e

con

omy.

But

I m

ust

not

allo

w q

uest

ion

s of

Sch

ool

Boa

rd p

olit

ics

to d

iver

t m

e fr

om m

y su

bjec

t. E

nou

gh h

as b

een

sai

d, I

tru

st,

to s

hew

th

at

Rec

ogn

itio

n b

y Fe

elin

g is

not

so

tedi

ous

or i

nde

cisi

ve a

pro

cess

as

mig

ht

hav

e be

en s

uppo

sed;

an

d it

is

obvi

ousl

y m

ore

trus

twor

-th

y th

an R

ecog

nit

ion

by

hea

rin

g. S

till

ther

e re

mai

ns,

as

has

bee

n

poin

ted

out

abov

e, t

he

obje

ctio

n t

hat

th

is m

eth

od i

s n

ot w

ith

out

dan

ger.

For

this

rea

son

man

y in

the

Mid

dle

and

Low

er c

lass

es, a

nd

all w

ith

out

exce

ptio

n in

th

e Po

lygo

nal

an

d C

ircu

lar

orde

rs, p

refe

r a

thir

d m

eth

od, t

he

desc

ript

ion

of

wh

ich

sh

all b

e re

serv

ed f

or t

he

nex

t sec

tion

.

Sect

ion 5

Of o

ur m

eth

ods

of

reco

gnis

ing

one

oth

er

FL

AT

LA

ND

E.A

. AB

BO

TT

1884

3940

4344

FL

AT

LA

ND

E.A

. AB

BO

TT

188

4

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41 42

FL

AT

LA

ND

38

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45 46