Chapter One Rules of good biz writing

Learning Objective:

1. Learn about dynamic changes in the business settings.

2. Learn about their implications for Biz English commu

nication.

3. Understand what makes today’s good Biz writing, part

icularly different from yesterday’s.

4. Appreciate and develop strategies of biz writing

1 Significant changes in biz community

Context (driving forces)

Internationalization of biz and China’s increasing integration

Competition

Impact: (their interplay)

① Popular use of the Internet (internal & external): website, Skype,

MSN, PayPal (C2C)

② Business English as lingua franca in int’ l business interactions

∵Non-native Speakers ＞ Native Speakers

∴ nonstandard English varieties (e.g. Euro English, China Englis

h)

2. Implications: New business communication practice!

2.1 More options of medium choice: fax, email, postal letter (telegram & telex)

2.2 Features of evolving electronic discourse

“written talk” (cf. generic features of traditional biz letters)

successful message exchange as of primary importance

demanding job of int’l biz communication (e.g. cultural competency)

3. Newly established rules

Responding to change: revised BELF curriculum and

textbook production to empower Asian users of English

1. Efficient message exchange: primary purpose

2. Plain language: towards being less formal

3. Courtesy (biz protocol): goodwill

4. Cultural Awareness: to improve communication outcome

4. Strategies of Biz Writing: What?

What qualities? (pp. 9-10, Guide to Writing) (vs. tradi C-rul

es)

① Write concise and purposeful messages.

② Conversational tone.

③ KISS rule: keept it simple and short (brevity)

④ Primacy principle: order ideas to take shape

⑤ keep your writing clear and completely readable

4. Strategies of BizWriting (tbc): What?

⑥ Use plain language (simplicity)

⑦ Be natural, human and sympathetic: (considerate) an

d courtesy)(tbc)

⑧ Consider cultural differences (tbc).

And

⑥ Raise awareness of medium choice (also in Chapter 2).

But how?

4.2 Strategies of BizWriting: How

1. Message organization for a high skim value

① Begin (para): explain why you are writing

② Middle (para(s)): provide the detailed information

③ End (para): state what action you are going to take

Remark: learn writing as a planning→drafting→editing process

To be illustrated with examples.

4. How: to jump start

The following 3-step technique for getting started: Step#1 begin your lead sentence with a well-worn phrase such as “The purpose is” or “In response to your letter of”. Step#2 grab attention by attaching ur primary message, and then continue writing with your inverted-pyramid document. e.g.

“The purpose is to share my belief that the ad agency must be replaced. Our market share has dropped by 29% over the past nine months, and the agency has offered no solutions. Let’s discuss at next week’s board meeting.” Step#3 Revise it. e.g. “The ad agency must be replaced. Our market share has dropped by 29% over the past nine months, and the agency has offered no solutions. Let’s discuss at next week’s board meeting.

4.2 How: Middle Paragraph(s)

The Human Resources Department has a number

of high-level positions for which current

employees may apply. These positions, which are

in marketing, personnel, and production, must be

filled immediately. Therefore, interviews will be

scheduled within the next two weeks. If you are

interested in applying for one of these positions,

please come to the Human Resources Department

to see the list and read about the required

qualifications. (p.3)

4.2 How: to end with an action statement

① As soon as you approve this plan, I'll begin contacting sales reps at once to arrange for purchase and delivery of the microcomputers.

② May I expect to hear from you within the week? I am free after 2:00 p.m. on most days. Can we set up an appointment to discuss my background and this position further? I'll look forward to hearing from you.

4.2 How: adopt a you-attitude

All of the desirable qualities of biz writing boil down on a

you-attitude perspective (UAP).

Proper understanding of UAP

① Not a merely mechanical use of more “You” than “We/I”

② A matter of genuine empathy: viewing a situation from th

e other person's viewpoint

arranging ideas to meet the reader's needs

strategies (e.g. inverted pyramid style, primacy & KISS p

rinciples) for the reader’s max. reading efficiency

To be discussed with examples

4.2 How: Illustrative examples of UAP

We are happy to extend you a credit line of $5000.You can now charge up to $5000 on your

American Express card.

We have decided to cover the parking lot. To offset the cost of construction, we are increasing your monthly rental from $10 to $15.

To protect you and your car, the parking lot will be covered.

Unfortunately, to offset the cost of construction, a modest

rent increase of $5 a month will be necessary.

4.2 How: I-attitude example (TBC-ed)

I-attitude sampleDear …A change in my final examination schedule makes it impossible for me to keep our appointment on June 20.

I am really disappointed. I was looking forward to coming to Qingdao. It’s a great inconvenience, but I hope we can work out an appointment. Please let me know when we can arrange a new meeting.

Concluding remark: An explanation (see the You-attitude version in Example 1, p.9) is needed, though, at the expense of brevity.

4.2 How: language aspects

Devices of how to choose the right expressions and appropriate level of politeness.

Plain language (Chinese: flowery & formality)

(ex. III, Task Two,p.12) Direct (Chinese: typical of being indirect)

(ex. II, p.11) Positive Polite (Ex. III ， Task One ， p. 11)

4.2 How: Consider Cultural Awareness

Varieties of English, together with their respective cultures, make int’l communication more challenging.

Differences btwn Br and Am Biz Writing (Appendix, p. 253)

① Formatting/layout (Chapter 2)

② Openings and closings (Chapter 2)

③ Grammar

④ Vocabulary: e.g. table vt., 2) letter of complaint (BrE) vs claim letter (AmE)

⑤ Spelling: e.g. cancelled cheque vs canceled check (AND they mean different) (pp.8-9).

Significantly, other Br & Am Eng differences

And others:

① Routine tactics and lexical choices: e.g.

② In making requests: explicit/direct + reader perspective (AmE) vs. less overt/indirect + writer perspective

③ In closing requests: self-obligation statements (thank, appreciate ) (AmE) vs anticipation statements (look forward) (BrE)

④ Devices of appeal to the reader's hopes, fears, joys etc.

⑤ Organization: e.g. letters of complaints and adjustments (Chapter 11)

⑥ Style: more formal (BrE), less formal (AmE )

4.2 How: Cultural awareness (More is better)

Extract 1Mr Pang, an entrepreneur based in the nearby provincial capital of Guangzhou, paid Rmb10m ($1.4m, €943,000, £711,000) for Changdeng's capital equipment and is re-selling it to other manufacturers. (“Factories face survival of the fittest”, Financial Times, by Tom Mitchell Wednesday, February 27, 2008)

Extract 2CHINA'S strengthening ties to Africa were ambitiously tightened on Thursday October 25th. South Africa’s Standard Bank, the largest banking group in Africa by assets, announced that it was hooking up with the Industrial and Commercial Bank of China in a transaction worth a whopping 36.7 billion rand ($5.5 billion). ( “Running on the same range” , The Economist, Oct 26th 2007)

Also, an explanation is needed to avoid confusion and misunderstanding, e.g. “all references to $ in this text are to US$. 1 billion=1,000 million; 1 trillion=1,000,000 million” (Graddol 1997: p.4).

5. Further readings

① Graddol, David (1997, 2000). The Future of English: A guide to forecasting the popularity of the English language in the 21st century. The British Council. www.english.co.uk.

② (2006) English Next: Why global English may mean the end of “English as a Foreign Language”. The British Council . www.english.co.uk.

Key to end-of-chapter exercises

I. (1)-(5) order-credit-balance-delivered-possibleII. 1.(A) (IND) 2. (A) (D) 3. (I) (IND) 4. (A) 5. (I) (D) III. Task One

1. We regret to inform you that we cannot help you with this matter at the moment.

2. Unfortunately the situation is not acceptable to us and hope we can discuss it further to find a solution.

3. We would appreciate your sending the report to us before Thursday. 4. We think there may be an error in the calculations.5. It seems that you may have been incorrectly informed.6. We regret to say that the price of the components is too high and would

like to request a reduction.7. We would like to inform you that we find your terms of trade unacceptable

and hope they can be renegotiated 8. We would like to request a price reduction of 10%.9. We request that you send the consignment back to us by return. 10. We found the quality of the goods to be sub-standard and are returning

them to you. We would therefore like to ask for a full refund on this order.

III. Task Two

1. Please accept our apologies for the error in your order, which was entirely the fault of our dispatch section. (OR, We are sorry for our dispatch section sending you the wrong order.)

2. We would be very grateful to receive one. Please send us your latest catalogue and price list. (OR, Would you kindly send us an up-to-date catalogue and price list of all your goods?)

3. We are sorry that the goods cannot be dispatched until the beginning of next month. (OR, We apologize that we are not able to dispatch the goods until the beginning of next month, because of our suppliers’ late dispatch.)

4. Unfortunately we are unable to repair your computer at the moment due to prior commitments but will be able to next week. (OR, We regret that we are unable to repair your computer now due to other work.

5. Please let us know your terms of trade.

III. Task Three

1. Please let us know when you will deliver our order.2. Your order will be delivered within the next few day

s.3. Please send us your reply by March 20.4. I hope that you are able to decide soon. 5. Please excuse the delay in delivery (We apologise fo

r the delay in delivery.)6. You’ll get their detailed survey report of individual c

ases. 7. Please accept our sincere apologies for the delayed d

elivery, which is now being processed. 8. Could you send us twenty units on approval.

IV.

• Task One1. Do you have any service engineers in

Guangzhou? Or, could you tell us when your service engineers will be available?

2. Is this model compatible with IBM PCs? Or, are your A6 personal computers compatible with IBM PCs?

3. Do you offer any special discounts for large orders? Or, what are your discount rates for large orders?

IV. Task Two

Answers to questions: 1. Angry and irritated (OR The tone is brusque, impatient, barely civil,

lacking polite forms). The tone is strengthened by the absence of the salutation.

2. The writer with a high ranking position was expecting an estimated sales target of €5m reported by the recipient, his subordinate, some weeks ago. At the lowered sales estimate from the recipient, he was so angry that he put pressure onto his subordinate. The writer assumed an authoritative tone in his writing by using the imperative form despite the politeness marker “please” to soften the imperative. (OR For some reason, perhaps due to personal failing, sales did not achieve the target set.)

Rewrite the text in a more polite tone: • The sales figures are very disappointing and have fallen well short

of the target. Could you explain why you think this has happened and we would appreciate a new plan of action that will secure the sales targets we have set. If you need help in this matter please let me know….

IV. Task Three

Dear Sir,

Thank you for your letter of 21 December reminding us of an outstanding balance of £850 which is due for immediate payment.

Please accept our sincere apologies for this situation, which was due to a recent office move in which some data has been lost. However, I am pleased to report that the problem has now been solved and we are back to a normal working situation.

You will be reimbursed in full within the next month, but in the interim I am enclosing a cheque for £100 as a goodwill gesture.

Once again, please accept our sincere apologies for any inconvenience this situation has caused you.

Yours faithfully

(signature)

Enc.(1)