Chapter 5 Helping Children Cooperate

Cooperation is Working Together!

Learning Cooperation for life

Parent’s Teaching JobParent’s ModelA happy home environment

Problem Ownership

Parent or Child?Ownership first stepSets the strategyIndependent ChildrenParent Ownership/Action

From Problem to Solution

Determine Who Owns the Problem

4 Questions RHPA determine ownership:

1. Rights?

2. Harm?

3. Property?

4. Age Responsibility?

Determine Who Owns the Problem

4 What are the four questions?:

1. Rights?

2. Harm?

3. Property?

4. Age Responsibility?

Who owns the problem?

Bill and Joey did not ask John to play ball. John’s is upset.

John is being rude to his mother and calling her names.

John lost the leaves for his class project.

John is kicked off the bus for fighting.

Group Activity

Who owns the problem?

Solving Problems Together

ChoicesIgnore itReflective listeningI-messageChoices and ConsequencesExploring Alternatives

Solving Problems Together

What are the Choices?Ignore itReflective listeningI-messageChoices and ConsequencesExploring Alternatives

Steps to Exploring Alternatives

Understand itBrainstorm Discuss Choose pg 90Implement

What are the steps?

Understand itBrainstorm Discuss Choose pg 90Implement

Using Open Questions

Get them talking – not Dragnet!

Solving the wrong problem

Problem identification5WH

Deadlock – Now What?

Find common groundRespectfulthe real problemAgree not to fightTime-outResume discussion later

Deadlock – Now What?

Find common groundRespectfulthe real problemAgree not to fightTime-outResume discussion later

Family Meetings

Why have a family meeting?

Finding the Time

Review schedulesMeet ConsistentlySchedule appropriate amount of time

Ground Rules

All need to participateLimit complainingNo interruptions (phone calls, texting etc.)

TV offKeep to the time limit & topics

Structured or Non-Structured?

You Decide

Agenda /Topics

Family RulesChoresHomeworkWeek/Weekend PlansRecognition

Real Issues

Agenda/Topics

Plan Family ActivityTopics suggested by childrenFire Escape PlanCurrent EventsMoral Dilemma

Discuss & Plan

Build a Bridge to Cooperation

Problem Situation

Tony and Ruby have three children. Alex is 10, Tonia is 9, and Paula is 6. The parents want to begin having family meetings. They decide to start by planning something fun to do together.

 The family talks about what to do. Alex and

Paula want to go to a movie. Tonia wants to go to a carnival. Mom likes the movie idea. Dad thinks the carnival would be fun, but he is willing to do what the rest of the family decides. Tonia refuses to go to a movie.

Hand Out

Problem Solving

What are the problems here?What guidelines for family meetings could help?

How might this family cooperate to solve these problems?